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Chapter 31 - On the Brink.
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Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 2:15 am    Post subject: Chapter 31 - On the Brink.  

Chapter 31 - On the Brink.

The despicable Queen Phang and her dark Horde have invaded the Silver Lands and taken the Gnomish Lands.
Only an artifact known as the Black Heart has the power to defeat Phang and her magics, and she has dispatched a monstrous Demon to recover this for her.
King Chundyer met up with Key and the other heroes who were pusruing the Black Heart. In a battle with the Light-Ones and each other, IM finally extracted his vengence upon Sorrow, though he in turn was killed by Lordy of the Night, who eventually escaped with the Heart. Other casualties were taken, but Sunbelina was rescued, and in turn managed to repulse the Light Ones enough for the survivors to escape. Two weeks later a vast army of Light One soldiers have emerged from the castle. A new threat to all who stand before it.
Meanwhile Phang thas now turned her armies west, and moved into human territory. Under the leadership of Baron Crymzon the Western lands have allied with the Elves, whilst the Eastern Lands, led by King Ravagerrr, have thrown their lot in with Phang.
Now King Ravagerrr readies his troops and prepares for war…

Cast (in no particular order):
Araex as Homer’s steed.
Dragon Fire as The Dragon Guardian.
Cantolope as King of the Fairies

Kalanna Rai as the Bad Ass.
DukeReg as Oaf Duke Reginald Percival Thunderking Harwobble the Fifth.
D-Lotus as the Elven special forces commander
Solomon Birch as a misguided AlbinoDrow.
Random as The Thing.
Mother goose as a hydroose
Alegria as the Resistance leader.

Key as the Magical Dignified Chamber Pot NEW HERO!
Lord of the Night as an Evil Demon Warrior.
Sunbellina as Duke Reg’s little sister.
Ninja Balloon as Nalloon
Thracia Alba, as The Alba.
OmegaTerra as Om Terra

Ingrothechundyer as Ingro Chundyer the Gnome King.
Duffman666 as Duff (man).

Phang as The Dark Mistress
Muaddib as a wheely thing.
Powers That Be as General Powers ‘the perverted.’
Luvd and Mr.Moochie as ‘The Ravens’
Dean as the Dean the Head.
Smee as the Smee Slug.
The White Blacksmith as Whitey.
Jack D.Mented as Darkness Mented resurrected.

Ravagerrr as Lord Rav.
Stubby as the Loyal wulfservant

Cryzmon as Baron Crymzon.
Zeitgeist as the Wizard
Ravenwing as the Elven envoy.

The Fallen – Lest we forget..
Jnmrcs as the High Commander
Hyperion as the Mage.
CowofDoom666 as the Cow of Doom
Idea Master as the Wretched minion.
Shady Stoat as the Twisted Witch (stuffed)
Ethereal Fauna as Ethereal Slug.
Evil Homer as ‘The Paladin Hero’
Chainfire as Homer’s sword.
Author as Gnomish Wizard.
Jack D.Mented as Darkness Mented.
Muaddib as a wheelie thing. (Ascended)
Idea Master as the resurrected minion.
Sorrow as a mysterious robed figure.
Reiso as Gnome Prince Reiso
Shanty as Captain Shanty.

And introducing…
Tramp in a Storm as Amazon Queen Storm, of the White Lands
Lebrenth as an Elf warrior.


King Ravagerrr stood on a balcony overlooking the City Square as his Northern expeditionary force passed by. Columns of men in armor marched in step, followed by wagons carrying supplies and equipment. The troops looked tough and experienced, which they were.

“Sir, the Nun ambassador is still waiting in your Audience Chamber.” Stubby appeared by the King’s side.

Ravegerrr growled under his breath and then, with one last reluctant glance at his army, turned away. “Come then. Let us see this wretch, though I don’t know why I bother sometimes.”

He followed Stubby downstairs and through corridors until they reached the room. It was empty except for one scrawny man standing in the middle.

Ravagerrr smiled and strode forward. “Ambassador. How pleasant to see you again. How are you keeping these days?”

The ambassador returned none of the Kings’ false charm. “About as well as can be expected when you are invading my country” he scowled back.

“Ambassador, please,” Ravagerrr spread his arms wide. “How can you say such a thing? I am merely sending my troops to your aide, to replace the forces so cowardly withrdrawn by the Mad Baron. You should be thanking me for my help.”

“Your little word games mean nothing to me King,” the Ambassador spat out the title. “Know you that the Nunians will resist you with every ounce of their being! This is an invasion pure and simple.”

Ravagerr laughed, a low throaty sound. “Do as you will Ambassador. In the end it will make no difference.”

The Ambassador turned red and seemed to be about to say more. He decided against it, turned and stamped out of the room.

“Tush, what a petulant fellow” said Ravagerrr.

Stubby and the King’s laughter echoed down the hallway, following the fleeing diplomat.


“Your majesty, you majesty!” A panting messenger burst into Phang’s tent, interupting her game of Blort* with Dean the Head...

“What do you want?” Snapped Phang as she mulled over her next move. Dean was proving to be a capable player.

“Th…th…th…” stammered the man.

The queen moved a dragon two squares to land on one of Dean’s villages. “Ha, take that Mr. Head!” She turned to the messenger. “Come on then, out with it man, before I tear out your tongue and replace your no doubt withered member with it.” ”

The man went pale and took a deep breath before managing to speak. “Y…your Queen-ness. The Slug has escaped! We think the White Goblin made off with… Aarrrrgggg!!!”

The message was cut short as Phang, in her anger, snapped her fingers. The messenger’s toungue ripped itself from his mouth in a fountain of blood and wiggled down his tunic worm-fashion, dissapearing into his pants as he writhed about on the floor holding his mouth. He screamed again a moment later, and clutched at his crotch.

By this time Phang had taken Dean and left the tent, throwing an unfortunate passer-by across the yard with a gesture.

“Incompetence! There is no excuse for it! The guards are going to pay. And when I get that goblin. Oooh, I am going to have to think of something special for her. Stealing my poor little sluggles away, and so close to laying his eggs too.”

“Do slugs lay eggs?” Asked Dean the Head, watching the world swing by.

Phang didn’t answer.

General Powers was in discussion with some of his scouts when they passed. He left the men and hurried to catch up with her. “My Queen, if you could just wait a…”

“No time General, some thieving goblin has abducted my little Smee slug.”

“A tragedy to be sure,” panted Powers, catching up and trotting beside her. “However, King Ravegerrr is asking when our forces will arrive, and with us camped here like this…”

Phang stopped suddenly and looked around. “Mmm. You have a point General, we should be moving on. Fair enough, once I have captured that little white rustler, you can start the horde moving west again. Is that acceptable?”

Powers bowed. “Thank-you my queen.” He backed away and Phang left him behind as she once more made for the Slug corral.

When she arrived there, there were no guards to be found. They had fled, assuming (correctly) that Phang would make them pay dearly for their failure.

“Cowards!” Spat Phang. Tucking Dean’s head into her belt by his hair, she raised her hands and concentrated. Five blue sparks appeared. They hovered about her head for a moment, and then streaked off in different directions as she nodded. “There, my sprites will sort the guards out. Now, let us see about my poor dear Sluggles shall we?”

*Blort: A strategic game somewhat like chess, popular in the Silver Lands.


“They are preparing to move,” Lebrenth wriggled back from his hiding place and stood up to address his men. “Remember! Hit and run! Allow them no time to get organized. Concentrate on the supply waggons. Watch for my signal, and when you see it retreat back to the redevous point. The charms should protect you from the worst of the magics the Horde wizards and Phang may throw at you, but not for long.

The troops stirred and prepared their weapons.


“I think we have made it Mr. Smee” said the White Blacksmith from Smee’s back. “We are well clear of the army now.”

Smee let out a small sound, and a cloud of mult-colored gas wafted up behind him. He slimed over some rocks, pushing onwards despite the discomfort he felt. When this small white creature had offfered to help him escape he had grasped the chance with both, well, not hands because he didn’t have any. He paused and then looked around in alarm. His senses, which had been clearing as they moved away from the camp and Phang’s influence suddenly dulled, slowlng his thoughts.

“Let’s rest for a moment shall we?” said his passenger, sliding off his back, unaware of Smee’s sudden despair. “How do you feel?” The small goblin felt at his side. “It is nearly your time; I hope all this activity hasn’t hurt the little ones.”

“Oh, I would be more concerned about yourself if I were you.”

Smee swung around to see Phang step from behind a tree. Whitey let out a small sqeal and there was a sound of water dripping on the floor.

“You didn’t think I would let you just steal my pet did you?” The Dark Queen moved forward and pointed a finger at the goblin.

Whitey fainted.

“Mmph. I will deal with you later. As for you my little swuggles, you are safe and sound with mummy again. Come on; let’s get you back to your coral shall we?” Phang turned to Smee and stroked his side

Smee sighed as his remaining willpower was sapped by the touch, and turned to follow as she led him away, back to the army. Behind them Whitey’s limp body floated into the air and followed.


Storm sat at her desk and read the despatches. It didn’t make for good reading. Ravagerrr’s armies were moving north, attacking Nun, whilst Sturm’s forces were building along her border, preparing to attack the White Lands.

“Any word from the Baron yet?” she asked an aide.

“Just the same as before milady,” replied the aide. “He will send help only if Wulfland assists Sturm.”

“Damn,” Storm looked down again at her reports. “Well, as long as we have no evidence to say that they are, we are on our own.” She stood up. “Prepare the troops. Gather the Maidens of Honor in the Hall, I will address them there.”

The aide bowed and backed away. “As the Queen wishes.”

Storm stood brooding for another few moments, then slung her ever present bow onto her back and walked out of the small hut into the forest. The White Warrior Woman would defend their lands and their men with every thing they had. No invading army would conquer her country!


Nun’s troops massed on their southern border. Without the Soldiers of the Crymzon land they were severely out-matched by the armies of Wulfland. Still, they were determined to show Ravagerrr’s troops they would defend their country.

Cavalry lined up in a row, several thousand strong. Pikemen formed a defensive line between two hills and archers readied their bows. To the rear the small cadre of Wizards prepared defensive spells.

They waited. A sound, a continuous low growl could just be heard. On the horizon shapes appeared. A few at first, and then more and more until they stretched from one side of the skyline to the other. In the center cavalry, mounted on strong black horses and ridden by large men in heavy leather armor, wielded wicked curved blades. To either side of them jogged the foot troops. Lightly armored with short swords. Behind stood a troop of shamans, ready to counter anything the Nun Wizards to conjure up.

The army approached, dwarfing the defenders in number. The growling sound grew louder, and the Nun troops realised it was coming from the attackers themselves. A low animal noise that sent shivers up spines.

Then it stopped. For a moment the two forces looked at each other in silence.

A movement from the center of the line and a single man on a horse approached the defenders, stopping halfway between the forces. He spoke with a spell amplied voice.

“Scum of Nun! You chose to fight against the forces of liberation. You made a mistake. There will be no chance for surrender. There will be no prisoners. Today… today you will die!”

The ground suddenly shook as the attackers let loose howls and charged.

The Nun wizards cast their spells, the archers nocked their bows and fired, sending shoals of small shapes high into the air to land as deadly rain upon the attackers. Some went down, many more ignored the barbs and kept on coming.

The pikemen watched as their cavalry raced out to meet the enemy attack. but there was something wrong. Instead of the enemy horsemen being out in front of the charge the footmen lead the field. There was a gasp as the forces closed. The infantry had changed. No longer men marching forward, but wolves, giant wolves bounding across the grass.

The Nun cavalry met the charging animals mid-field with a crash. Beastly cries rose as lances bit flesh and pierced organs. Four legged bodies fell as the cavalry used its sharpened steel to good effect, cutting a swathe through the pack. It didn’t last though. With the force of their charge blunted the favor swung back towards the Wulf forces, which now leapt at horse and man alike, tearing throats and biting limbs.

The Nun cavalry swirled about in dissaray, men hacking at wolf, beast ravaging man and horse. Squeals of terror and cries of pain floated up towards the heavens.

Meanwhile the pikement stiffened as the Wulf horsemen skirted the midfield battle and charged their lines. Another crash as horsflesh met blade. The pikement held for a moment, but only for a moment as overwhelming numbers told. The line folded and broke in the middle, and the cavalry were through, free to wreak a slaughter on the outnumbered foot-troops, who fought bravely but vainly to regroup.

Seeing the disaster the Nun cavalry tried to break off and help their fellows, but the wolves wouldn’t allow it. Using their superior manouverability, they cleverly cut off the path back to the Nun lines time and time again, whilst whittling down the numbers of mounted soldiers.

Finally the Nun horsemen could take no more. Those that could made a wild break for it, escaping the battlefield and fleeing for their lives. Some made it, but most were brought down from behind.

In a little less than two hours the defending forces were destroyed, and the way to Nun was open.

Ravegerrr’s army had won the opening battle of the war.


Smee slimed over the ground towards the Horde camp. He was immersed in his own misery so he didn’t notice the smoke start to rise ahead of him, and he ignored the cries and sounds of metal on metal coming from a section not too distant from him. Phang, of course, was not so ignorant.

“What is going on here?” she said. She turned and addressed the four orc guards that were escorting them back. “You four, get my slug back to his coral. I will sort this out. So saying she made a gesture and dissapeared from view, taking Whitey with her.

As always Smee’s senses cleared when Phang was not near. Hence he looked on with interest as a small band of half a dozen horsemen broke away from the now chaotic camp and thundered his way.

“Elves!” said one of the orcs, and the four rushed towards the riders, who adjusted their course to meet them.

A short but bloody battle followed, with the Elves losing one man and one injured before dispatching the orcs and stopping just infront of Smee, who looked at them through sad eyestalks.

“What have we here then?” asked one of them, his face smudged with soot.

“One of Phang’s abominations no doubt,” said another. “We should kill it.” He raised a bloody sword and nudged his horse closer.

“Wait!” Sooty face held an arm up and looked closer at Smee, who remained where he was. “It is with young, and I feel no evil about it.” He looked briefly back at the Horde camp. “Bring it along,” he commanded. “Now, let’s ride!”

The other elves looked at each other, but a shout from behind stirred them. Once elf jumped off his horse and landed on Smee’s back. “Move it then slug, unless you wish to wait for the Dark Queen.”

Smee needed no encouragement. He slimed off as quickly as he could after his unexpected rescuers. The way was hard and tough, and the young in his belly kicked, but Smee didn’t notice any of it. The only thing he felt was the taste of freedom...


Crymzon leaned on the wall of his highest tower and stared out across the land, as if trying to pick out the enemy. A sudden movement and something grabbed hold of his leg. The King sighed.

“Zeitgeist! How many times have I told you not to do that? Get off me!” He shook his leg, dislodging the wizard.

“Sorry my Lord”s said Zeitgeist, looking shamefaced. “I can’t seem to help it.”

Crymzon took a deep breath and looked back out over the land again. Far below troops scurried about excitedly, looking little more than ants from this height. “What is the latest?”

The wizard unscrolled a parchment and read aloud. “Wulfland forces have completely overrun Nun, as we expected, though faster than we thought they would.”

“Damned Nunians, I should have just taken the territory as my own,” the king thought for a moment. “What else? What about Oh?”

“They have basically surrendered and offered their aid to Ravagerrr as long as he leaves them be.”

“Cowards!” Crymzon slammed his fist down on the wall.

“Queen Storm requested assistance again, but I think she is just playing it safe. She is holding Sturm forces at the border, though neither side have committed the full force of their troops yet.”

“They will hold, she and hers are tough fighters.”

“In a straight fight, yes. However, I am worried about Sturm’s more sneaky tactics.” Zeitgeist picked a leaf up off the ground and chewed on it throughtfully. “Meanwhile Ravagerrr has pushed into Ga. Our troops are fortifying the pass on our side there, but the Ganians aren’t happy about it. Ravagerrr don’t appear to be doing anything in the central pass though, too well fortified on both sides.”

“Well, that is all as planned anyway.” Crymzon scatched his chin. He turned around and looked at his goat legged wizard. “Time for the next stage then. Prepare the army to attack. If we are going to catch them off guard we should do it now.”

“Before you do that, there is one thing, which is why I came up here to talk to you.”

“What’s that?”

“Our scouts have reported something unsettling in the north. It seems a force has been spotted there, though I can’t get any real details.”

“A force? How many? Whose side are they on?”

“I don’t know. I have tried scrying, but I get nothing. It’s as if something is blocking me.”


“It doesn’t feel the same. I think it is some one else.”

“Send an expeditionary team up there, and alert the King of El, see if he can spare some men to scout out the area in more detail.”

“Yes my lord.”

“Just one more thing Zeitgeist.”

“Yes my lord?”

“Get off my leg!”

End of Book 1.


So the last word goes to Crymzon. The forces are lining up ready for full blown war. Sturm is skirmishing with the White Lands and Wulfland’s armies have taken Nun, with Oh capitulating.

Phang is heading in to aid Ravagerrr, and a mysterious force has been sighted to the north! Wonder who they could be?

So, comments and suggestions are welcome, though this story will go into hiatus for a summer break.

Oh, and any suggestions for the non-fatal torture of the White Blacksmith* will be heeded.

Oh, and Whitey, you owe me 60Fables for your bids, though I know I haven't done your torture and release yet. it will come.

Thank you all for reading! I appreciate it.


*The one in the story that is.


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Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 2:31 am    Post subject:  

Quote: “Your majesty, you majesty!” A panting messenger burst into Phang’s tent, interupting her game of Blort* with Dean the Head...

And here was me thinking Blort would be a game similar to football, until I read the asterix that is.

Damn - that would have been funny.
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ninja baloon

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 4:35 am    Post subject:  

Lordy I have to thank you for the funniest mental picture I've had all week. Did you know I didn't know that Smee was a slug. It's probably because I only skimmed a few of the first chapters.
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Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:56 am    Post subject:  

I always did like the Asian water torture, where drops of water fall one at a time on a persons temple, which is supposed to drive as person crazy after a while.
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The White Blacksmith

Joined: 02 Apr 2006
Posts: 2629

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 8:04 am    Post subject:  

You're just so kind, aren't you? But I don't realy think that's her favoured type of torture. I thought she went more for mutation?

And the fables are comeing to your account stat chinny.
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Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 8:09 am    Post subject: Re: Chapter 31 - On the Brink.  

chinaren wrote: Oh, and any suggestions for the non-fatal torture of the White Blacksmith* will be heeded.

He did say "NON-FATAL" mutilation is potentally fata.
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The White Blacksmith

Joined: 02 Apr 2006
Posts: 2629

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 8:11 am    Post subject:  

Think of Smee think of Dean. Phang is very good at mutilation.

And besides, ou can't do anything to turn me insane. I'm about as far into that territory as possible.
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Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 8:13 am    Post subject:  

The White Blacksmith wrote: Think of Smee think of Dean. Phang is very good at mutilation.

And besides, ou can't do anything to turn me insane. I'm about as far into that territory as possible.

:D cheers :cheers:
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Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 3:09 pm    Post subject:  

How about a variation one the Banboo Execution method? But instead of growing through her chest, let it grow through various limbs and ect?

Plus, it's nice and slow.

Another fun one is general skinning, bone crushing, pressing.

Flesh eating maggets placed on extremities?
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Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 3:13 pm    Post subject:  

Ya could tie her over a fire ant hill and cover her in honey.
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Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Posts: 958
Location: Hiding out in the woods of Washington

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:04 pm    Post subject:  

I keep thinking...

:-o :-o Nipple clamps/hot pokers:-o :-o

Sounds painful to me...
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The Meaning Of Fear

Joined: 06 May 2006
Posts: 980
Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting.

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 10:58 pm    Post subject:  

Nice one Chinaren man! A few minor errors....

Quote: had offfered

Too many fffffffffs

Quote: scounts

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The White Blacksmith

Joined: 02 Apr 2006
Posts: 2629

Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:55 am    Post subject:  

Argh! They're trying to kill me!

*runs and hides bbehind the nearest person, who happens to be Meany*

Now this is something that doesn't happen often...
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 12:36 pm    Post subject:  

Jack_D.Mented wrote: I keep thinking...

:-o :-o Nipple clamps/hot pokers:-o :-o

Sounds painful to me...

You do know that some people like that sort of thing ... Don't you?
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Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:31 pm    Post subject:  

I cant believe that it took me so long to read this chapter. Good work china. as for White Blacksmith, I cant seem to think of anything but boiling 24 molal HCl* applied in the same manner as Columbus used to apply the "Drops"** But perhaps something more dastardly, a punishment similar to Smee Slugs, only the mortal enemy of the goblins, whatever that may be.

This link leads to a most, unfortunate method of torture that could be nonlethal.. if rescued Scaphism

*Really strong HydroChloric acid

**Cant remember the refrence but.. Boiling drops of water applied drop by drop to the naked back of an individual. (very effective)
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