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Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 1:17 am    Post subject: Dotty's Mailbox  

Dear Dottie,

Iím so worried that my little boy might be experimenting with drugs. We had the perfect mother-son relationship until around the time that he turned thirteen. Now he always seems to be locked away in the bathroom. Iíve tried asking him about it but he just gets so secretive and embarrassed.

One night I walked into his bedroom to say goodnight, only to find him trying to hide something under the covers. Now he says he wants a lock on his bedroom door too.

Could it be drugs? What should I do?

Anxious from Arkansas

Status update: This letter was answered by Dotty. Her response can be found here.
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D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 8:13 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

Me and my friend have known each other since we were born, and we've always gone to the same places together and done the same things together as well. When we both turned sixteen, my friend started acting in an odd manner towards me. She constantly batts her eyes at me and insists on engaging in close contact. Sometimes she makes jokes about how maybe someday we should engage in the Sin of Crassis. I thought she would get over it, but the behavior has continued, and I am growing worried. What does she mean by: "You don't understand!"? What am I supposed to understand? Is it possible she has contracted some strange disease?

Confused in California


Status update: This letter was answered by Dotty. Her response can be found here.
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Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 3:41 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

My eldest daughter has recently started seeing a boy romantically. At first I thought it was a good thing. Now itís ruining my life.

I was attracted to him from the first moment I saw him. I donít know why. I realise itís madness, of course! Heís many years younger than me and my daughter obviously dotes on him. Sheíd never forgive me if she knew what I was thinking. I feel so guilty!

The thing is, he looks at me in a certain way sometimes, and I wonder if he feels it too. Iím certain itís not my imagination. Thereís definitely something there.

Please help. Iím desperate. I try to be a good father, but I donít know how much longer I can hide the way I feel.

Torn in Toronto

Status update: This letter was answered by Dotty. Her response can be found here.
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Key



Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 2582
Location: The Royal Palace

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 12:40 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

My husband and I have been married for twelve years, and God has blessed us with three wonderful children. During the time we've been married, in addition to raising the children I've also continued to practice my hobby, which is photography. I've done many portraits of the family, which my husband appreciates, and I've recently been doing some nature photography too. I don't like to brag, but I have won some awards, and professional photographers have told me that my work is very good.

Here's my problem: my husband wants us to have more children, but I want to stop so that I can focus more on my art, and maybe even become a professional photographer. My husband says that to be a wife and mother is God's special calling for women. Dotty, I love my children, and they will always be first in my heart, but I also feel that God has given me a gift for photography for a reason. I want to show the world the beauty of God's creation, and I feel that God is calling me to do that.

What do you think?

Uncertain in Seattle

Status update: This letter was answered by Dotty. Her response can be found here.
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8677

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 10:16 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,
I feel like a fool. I have done something terrible and don't know what to do now.

I was out taking my leadership sanctioned constitutional in Constitutional Square when a person approached me. In hindsight I am not sure why I didn't just report them to the supervisor, but I had a moment of curiosity my meds didn't supress.

The man offered me a recording for a few credits and I stupidly bought it. When I returned to my apartment and played it (with the recording machine offline, I know, I know, madness!) it was a historical documentary about a woman looking after some children. She sang songs ("doe, a deer", something about whistling and other non sanctioned ones) and made no mention of the leader at all.

Now I have come to my senses, but i don't know what to do with the memory chip. I realise I was foolish, but any one can make a small mistake? Can't they?

Worried from Wisconsin.

Status update: Dead Letter Office.
Stated reason: Not of general interest. More information can be found here.
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Key



Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 2582
Location: The Royal Palace

Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 9:18 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

Thank you so much for your column. I've been a loyal reader for years.

I remember long ago you published an inspirational poem called "I Know" about a mother coping with her child's death. That poem was so meaningful to me, I kept in on my refridgerator for months, but I don't have it anymore. Could you reprint that poem so that I could give it to a friend who recently lost her son? I'm sure it would help ease her pain.

Yours,

Loyal Reader

Status update: This letter was answered by Dotty. Her response can be found here.
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Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 3:28 am    Post subject:  

Dear Doty,

I have a question Doty. Why canít I be a soldier like my brothers? Everyone keeps saying I have to stay home and be a Mom. Well I donít wanna. Moms are boring, they donít get to do the good stuff. I can already run and climb and scrap better than one of my brothers and heís 3 years older than me.

Nobody takes me serious. They all say I canít. Well, what I want to know is WHY?

Alice
9 and a half

Status update: This letter was answered by Dotty. Her response can be found here.
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Sorrow_A
Guest





Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 11:48 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

I thank you so much for reprinting "I Know". It made me so happy I could cry! And then I did! :cry2: However, I have a question, which is why I'm writing to you today. Recently, after 15 years, my wonderful wife has started making mournful comments, such as "I don't think we're right for each other anymore". She has blessed me with five wonderful children and we love each other very much, or so I thought. She once went so far as to suggest divorce! I'm very scared and think that she is contemplating suicide. What should I do?

Sincerely, a loyal reader,
Distraught in Detroit

Status update: Awaiting Dotty's decision.
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Key
Guest


Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 2582
Location: The Royal Palace

Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 11:26 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

Your wonderful column been missing from our hometown newspaper for the last three weeks. Please tell me you haven't been discontinued! I don't know what I would do without your simple homespun advice.

Desperate in Kansas

Status update: Dead Letter Office.
Stated reason: Dotty does not control the publication schedule of Our Leader's Ledger. More information can be found here.
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Prince Dakkar
Guest





Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 1:12 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

I have a very important issue to bring up with you. For the last two weeks or so my 30 cats have been, one by one, going up onto my roof and disapearing. The most interesting part of this is that every time this happens there's a very intense, white flash from my skylight. I do hope that this is a simple problem that can be cured by simply buying a new flea medication. I cannot afford to lose my precious pet, seeing as they are a rare, hairless variety that I had recently rescued from a sort of plane reckage in the desert.

Hopeful in California

Status update: Forwarded to Otto's Occult Advice column. Please direct inquiries there.
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Jack_D.Mented
Guest


Joined: 22 Jan 2006
Posts: 958
Location: Hiding out in the woods of Washington

Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 6:07 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

My husband recently discovered a box of rather archaic video tapes that dated from some time in his grandfather's childhood or some such. This worried me, but under my protests, he kept them.

I am sure we would have been all fine if he'd just viewed them by himself, but to demonstrate how harmless these things were, he brought our youngest son to watch them with him.

I was shocked and appalled at what I saw, in that most of the programing involved large men in spandex pumelling each other into a pulp until the other one could be pinned down for a three count. Most disturbing is that my son has taken a liking to one of these barbarians, an obnoxious bald Texan.

He has even started mimicing this man, so much as in raising his middle finger to me in protest to most everything I ask, giving his brother a "stone cold stunner" which almost broke his neck, asking repeatedly for me to give him a "hell yeah" for whatever reason, and finally, the most shocking thing of all... he has started drinking beer and swearing almost constantly.

Oh, Dottie, what do I do?

Your Devoted Reader,
Nervous in Nevada

Status update: Dead Letter Office.
Stated reason: Not of general interest. More information can be found here.
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LordoftheNight
Guest


Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5254
Location: Hell

Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 6:23 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

I am writing this letter partially as a complaint, and partially as a plea. Someone has recently deposited a waste load of rubbish in the Constitutional Square, and it looks like...cheese. A great mound of mouldy fermenting dairy product, and the entire Square is being contaminated. It seems almost as if nothing is being done about this dire threat, and I am worried that it could be an illegal hideout of the Resistance, and the Leader needs to be made aware. I can't reach while stuck like this, the orange goo located over the Sub-Leader's regional headquaters. In hope that you will be able to make contact with the Leader, or at the very least a Sub-Leader in the vicinity, I am writing this to you. Help me Dotty - you are my only hope.

Cheesed off in Chicago.

Status update: Dead Letter Office.
Stated reason: Not of general interest. More information can be found here.
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Ravagerrr
Guest





Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 7:26 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty, (incredible thread btw!)

My daughter of 4 years has been whining to get a dog. Unfortunately, we are too poor to afford to get such an expensive creature. I've told her she will have her hands full once she has her own children and she'll be able to nurture new life then, but she argues that we need the dog to help her learn how. I can't help but see her point, but it scares me to think about her with a dog! What should my husband and I do? Are there places that can help us get her a dog? Are they safe for little girls?

Paradoxed in Paraxia

Status update: This letter was answered by Dotty. Her response can be found here.
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thebean203
Guest





Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 1:35 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,
I write this to you in a feeling of great anxiety. Recently, outside my local temple, I looked into one of the dark corners. I saw a small stand containg many out-dated forms of communication. I belive they are called...dIsCs? In any case, believing it to be legitimate, I took it home, and looking at the title, I saw it read: The Second Season-The O.C.! Hurrying my children to their daily tasks, I quietly pushed in the dIsC. Watching it, I was horrified to see women scantily clad, and exhibiting behavior which clearly showed thay had not been taking their supplements! I write this out of desperation. Dotty, what should I do? I'm scared of telling my local clergy men-what if one of the rebels see me? What will ahppen to my 2 children and another on the way!?!

Horrified in Honolulu

Status update: Dead Letter Office.
Stated reason: Not of general interest. More information can be found here.
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Shady Stoat
Guest


Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 10:33 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

This is a hard letter to write. Iím worried about my husband of twelve years Ė but at the same time, Iíve got to admit that heís driving me absolutely crazy!

When he had to go and fight for our Glorious Leader, I was so worried. I thought heíd never come back. Then, when he got wounded and declared not fit for duty any more, I didnít know whether to grieve or celebrate. But at least, whole-bodied or not, he was coming home!

Since heís got home, though, heís a changed man. He runs the house like an army camp. Everything has to be done his way, by his routine. He even times me at the shops. I run a constant race against his stopwatch, so that he can make my route Ďmore efficientí. Itís getting towards the end of the month, and I dread having to go through the financial situation with him. Heís bound to want to make economies. Everything seems to have to be faster, cheaper, better!

I know he only wants to feel useful again, but isnít there a better way to handle things than this? All of this control doesnít seem to be making him feel happierÖ and I dread the thought of him finding purpose inÖ other pursuits.

Please help, Dotty!
Mental in Manhatten.

Status update: Awaiting Dotty's decision.
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Solomon Birch
Guest


Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 11:03 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

Much of my family emigrated from New Toronto over a decade ago; we went through all the screenings and everything worked out fine, so we were allowed to stay. But not all of my family moved. My brother, Abraham, stayed. And since the war, I havn't heard anything from Canada. I know that if he stayed, then he probably joined the Canadian rebels and fought against our brave soldiers, but he was my brother and I can't help but worry about him.

Is it wrong to want to discover what happened to a traitor to the glorious Leaders cause, just because he was my brother? I miss him so much, and i just don't know what to do....

Tormented in Tallahasse

Status update: This letter was answered by Dotty. Her response can be found here.
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The White Blacksmith
Guest


Joined: 02 Apr 2006
Posts: 2629

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 11:28 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

Recently my sister, who is almost ready to give up her childhood and marry, has been dissapearing to either the dump of the Settlement or to her bedroom. She has repeatedly been coming back with shining objects and I am becoming afraid that she has taken it upon herself to reconstruct one of the forbidden objets from before the Great Eclipse. I know that she has always been interested in History, ever since my brother joined the Throng to fight mutated beings from the Affected lands and keep our land pure.

Also, she has been repeatedly visited by a man dressed all in black of an age to be in the Throng, and though he claims to be courting her, I have seen no evidence of any gifts and fear he may be in the resistance and trying to involve my sister.

Your Worriedly,

Distrught in Delawere.

Status update: Dead Letter Office
Stated reason: Letter is likely a hoax.
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Key
Guest


Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 2582
Location: The Royal Palace

Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 8:17 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

In the last year my husband died of a heart attack, my son was lost in the war, and my dear and only sister disappeared. I'm all alone now, and I feel like I just can't bear it anymore.

I've always been a patriotic, God-fearing woman, but now even my clergyman can't help me. Nothing he says touches my heart, and he's adjusted my sacraments for months without any effect. I feel like I'm in a dark hole, and I've got nowhere to turn. God help me, I've been thinking of taking my own life.

Please help me, Dotty. You're my only hope.

Devastated in Delaware

Status update: Awaiting Dotty's decision.
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Viridian
Guest





Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 3:54 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,


Recently, it has come to my attention that two of my sons (John is thirteen, whereas Paul is eleven) have been spending more and more time with our cat, Type C. I am not an emotional man, but this has made me very concerned, and understandably so.

Before this, both of them would spend all of their time following the preliminary training that would prepare them for their eventually joining Our Glorious Leader's Legion. Now, however, they would rather engage in silent commune with Type CĖĖthey even insist on securing a place at the dinner table for Type C!

Trying to be reasonable, I had opted to take the most direct path: I simply asked them what was the matter. Not only did they not answer my questionĖĖsomething which they would never have dared to do before this,ĖĖthey only looked at each other, and shared a rather disturbing smile.

Remembering your previous counsel about pets, I decided to take a closer look at Type C myself. When I arrived at the front of my house where the cat normally lounged indolently, I noticed something shining, under one of its paws. As I crept closer, though, Type C turned and the shining thing was obscured. I detected a rather suspicious shifting of the cat's body, as if it were trying to hide something. Try as I might, I cannot determine what that had been. Could it have been merely the heat haze?

As it is, I have had Type C delivered to the clergymen. The other shoe dropped, then, so to speak. My sons have yet to stop screaming and wailing since I had the cat sent away. I think the physicians called it "indefinitely prolonged epileptic fits", but I am convinced that it has to do with the cat.

That was three days ago. I am in turmoil; what am I to do?!


Flummoxed in Florida.

Status update: Forwarded to Otto's Occult Advice column. Please direct inquiries there.
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Key
Guest


Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 2582
Location: The Royal Palace

Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 10:50 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

Who's more important, the Leader or God? My brother says God, but I say the Leader is. We asked Mom and she said she couldn't explain it but maybe you could.

P.S. I am ten years old.

Josie M.

Status update: This letter was answered by Dotty. Her response can be found here.
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Viridian
Guest





Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 2:22 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,


I have served Our Glorious Leader for more than half my life in ways that I am not of the liberty to disclose. On one such assignment, I have contracted an incurable disease and have been confined in a hospital for the last month or so.

The doctors have just told me that I have no more than a week more to live.

I have taken care of everything for my family, and I am not afraid of death. I have only one question that the clergymen that I had sought out would not answer in any direct manner, and I fear that this small question might erode my sense of peace.

I turn to you instead, Dotty, to ask what comes after death.


Assured, But Curious.

Status update: Awaiting Dotty's decision.
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Shady Stoat
Guest


Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 2:17 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

What do you do when you hate your job? I have no-one else to turn to, no-one I can trust to talk about this. Iíve looked for a way out, but I canít see one.

When I first got assigned, I was very satisfied with what I did. I was making a difference; helping people to be happier in Our Glorious Leaderís great community. All I ever wanted to do was make peoplesí lives a little bit better.

It happened gradually. No great shocks, no great traumas, just the dawning knowledge that I canít do this any more. My boss doesnít care. As long as I get through my quotas, why should it matter whether I believe in what Iím doing or not?

My peers seem content Ė but what if theyíre holding back, just like me? I donít dare confide my thoughts to them, they sound treasonous enough, even written down like this.

This is the thing that troubles me so much. Even though I follow the Leaderís Directives to the letter, I donít feel like Iím doing my duty. Is it right to make people happier without making them better? Are drugs really the answer?

I know youíd usually tell me to go and see a spiritual advisor about this Ė but Iím supposed to be the spiritual advisor.


What should I do?
The Reverend ďDisillusionedĒ in Dakota

Status update: Awaiting Dotty's decision.
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Ravagerrr
Guest





Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 2:24 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

My twelve year old son has become a nightmare. His grades have been suffering, so I've asked him what the problem is, and do you know what he told me?

He said that he doesn't buy it! He said he doesn't believe in the Leader and he thinks God hates us all for following a false prophet. The school nurses are complaining that he's refusing to take his sacrement and I must admit, Dotty, I'm downright afraid of him. He's been very violent lately.

I've asked him if he's become involved with that hideous rebelion, but he just tells me that he doesn't really believe in their causes either. He says they're just as flawed in their thinking as our Leader.

I'm so afraid Dotty. I don't know what to do! He seems to have some sort of an ancient weapon hidden on him at all times, and some people think he's been responsible for the deaths of local law enforcement agents!

Help me!

Frightened in Fairbanks

Status update: Awaiting Dotty's decision.
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chiacutie
Guest





Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 3:17 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

My daughter has recently been acting out of sorts. She sits in her room staring at walls, sometimes conversing with it. She hugs lamps. She kissed the mailbox last burning day! Dotty, I am worried. This isn't normal behavior.

She has been asking me questions. Why can't she join the rebels she asks. She asks what is so bad about them. I told her she wouldn't understand until she was older.

Have I done this to my dear 16 year old daughter? She used to be very interested in men as well, but lately she prefers shiny objects. I am terribly worried dotty!

Whatever can I do? She has also started to wear a sanbenito, which is a yellow garment worn during the spanish inquistition.

Sincerely and Worriedly,
Weltered* in Washington






*weltered means in a state of disturbance, termoil, or confusion


Status: This letter was answered by Dotty. Her response can be found here.
Update: The corrected version of Dotty's response can be found here.
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The White Blacksmith
Guest


Joined: 02 Apr 2006
Posts: 2629

Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 11:02 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty

I was born a Cripple, with a twisted arm, and though my family are Leader-fearing people, they were upset when the clergyman took me away, even though they knew this was a symbol God does not love me. Now, thirteen years later, I have begun to boubt this.

In the Cripple-Homes we are taught that we are worthless, stupid and if it were not for our merciful Leader we would have been killed at birth, as was done in the past. We all accept that, take the beatings and sneers and accept our lot in life. However a recent crisis in my town where the Sacraments have had to become rationed has cleared the minds of many of my fellows and they have begun to mutter rebelious things.

We all feel that we are being overworked in the Cripple-Homes and though some accept it as a punishment from God many off us, myself included, have begun to think freely, now we are only on the sparsest of sacraments. We have begun to doubt that we are the dumbest as, if we were, would we really be felt as such a threat to society?

I learnt the art of writing in secret and now I am the only remaining writer in the Cripple-Home (the other hit 16 and was sent to the nearest Slave farm a month ago). As I write this in my shakey handwriting I am surrounded by young Cripples, all wishing the same thing. Please, Dotty, either set our troubled minds at rest or give us guidelines on what to do. We only want to become productive members of our society and we feel sure that we are capable of this. Please Dotty. Help us.

Chronically Hated in an Cripple-Home

Status update: This letter has been answered by Dotty. Her response can be found here.
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P.I.N.B
Guest





Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 12:19 am    Post subject:  

Dear dotty,

I have been hearing about strange thins like a thing called a 'Hoarse' and a 'Kow' and even once about a 'chikin'. What are these strange things Ive heard about?Do they exist?

Worried in Wisconsin*

*i live in amerca i don't know why I wrote that....

Status update: Dead Letter Office
Stated reason: Child's fantasies.
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Geek_girl72
Guest


Joined: 19 Jul 2005
Posts: 810
Location: Earth, The Universe

Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 12:13 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dottie:

As a loyal citizen I applaud the appropriate uses of excerpts from the good book for some of the harder questions put to you, but this concerns my problem. In my conversations with my local clergyman (my family has always maintained close ties with respectable people.) I have heard him discuss portions of the holy book that seem out of sync with our great leaders words. Am I misunderstanding him? Or should I be alarmed? He keeps mentioning some passage about no difference among groups in God's sight. I know this can't be possible; it is a direct contradiction of our great leader's great speech a few weeks ago. How should I respond to this confusing situation?

Baffled in Boston

Status update: Awaiting Dotty's decision.
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DukeReg
Guest


Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 287
Location: Australia

Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2006 5:43 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

I don't know what to do. I have been a widower for 15 years. My wife died giving birth to my only child, my daughter, M.

Recently, M has been friendly with a boy in the neighbourhood, I will call him J, who has always been a little wild for my tastes. I try to be tolerant of others, within reason, as taught by Our Leader. I know that... energetic... children often become the greatest of war heroes. But something has happened that I cannot ignore!

J has somehow come across some kind of old fashioned cipher, that I can't make head nor tail of. I think J may be encouraging M to become involved in resistance against Our Leader!

Here is a transcript of part of one of their communications:
J: lol ur dad dpesnt no weer 2gether rite
M: lmao omg u w0rry 2 muxch!
J: yeah i no lol!!!111
M: u cuming over 2moro? w3 shoud keep on were we stoped b4 ;) *bats i lids*
J: u flirtz0r! lol!!1
M: omg omg dad is home@!!1 ttyl!!!!111one
J: lol

Can you please tell me who to turn to to try to decipher this arcane code? I don't want my daughter involved in anything that will get her involved with rebels!

Nervous in Nelbary

Status update: Awaiting Dotty's decision.
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ninja baloon
Guest





Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 7:09 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

I am worried for my brother. He is only fourteen and is already he drinks, smokes and is starting to experiment with other stronger recreational drugs. I can't say that it's wrong because I've done it myself but he starting to lose control. Only yesterday I found two grams of coke that fell out of his pocket on the sofa. I managed to hide it before my dad saw. As soon as i saw my brother again i swiftly gave him a right hook which I have now been grounded for. He is out there, gallavanting across the city and endangering his life with every second he spends in a drug induced euporia while I sit here writing to you worrying if he'll come home tonight. The people he hangs about with are older and nastier than he is aswell and if they hurt him I worry I'll go on a manhunt and end up in jail. I can't convince him to stop because I was the one that introduced him to that kind of life. I don't know whether to deal with him or his friends. I can't bring myself to tell anyone in authority as I will never grass on my friends let alone my brother. What should I do?

Solicitous in Scotland.

Status update: Dead Letter Office
Stated reason: Letter is likely a hoax.
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Alegria
Guest


Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.

Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 7:57 am    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

Hey, I'm having a problem. Lately my friend, let's call him Sam, has been acting strangely. His parents complain that he's been out late at night, or sometimes doesn't come home until the next morning. Also, they say that he's been leading strange people into their apartment, and to his room, from which strange sounds and phrases keep coming out of. Naturally, his apartment has no locks in it, but his parents tried to open the door once, and I couldn't. They sincerely think he's blocking it with a heavy object.

Dotty, what is Sam doing all night?

Signed,
Curious in Conneticut

Status update: Dead Letter Office
Stated reason: Appears to be the friend's problem, not the writer's.
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Masterweaver
Guest


Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Posts: 1463
Location: Look around

Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 12:07 pm    Post subject: Here's a twist for ya!  

Dear Dotty:

I am in the army, but I know that I will eventually be sent back, so I have started to make a general housebot to patant. I am extremly proud of the AI, almost completely sentiant, and yet still loyal to Our Leader. However, I sometimes turn it on an talk to it to find it has developed aa split personality, questioning Our Leader and the general command system. I have been working hard to eleminate this, but I seem at an immpasse. Should I dump the project, go on, get help, or what?

Yours in whatever truth can be gained in this world,
Freelance Inventor

Status update: Forwarded to Tracy's Tech Talk column. Please direct inquiries there.
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Masterweaver
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Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Posts: 1463
Location: Look around

Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 5:17 pm    Post subject:  

Dotty:

I live in one of the "rebel" areas of the land. Of course, I myself am not a rebel, but so many defilers of Our Leader's name awre allowed to walk free that I could easily be mistaken for one. When I went to the town leader, however, he claimed our economy, at least in our area, was dependant on the rebels, and showed me data proving this. I Can't decide which is worse: Standing by while these heathens tear at my land, or subjecting my home to poverty!

Yours,
Severly Conflicted

(P.S. Code nine four two)

Status update: Dead Letter Office
Stated reason: A hoax. There are no "rebel areas" in Our Leader's fair land.
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Chinaren
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Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8677

Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 7:42 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

So glad to see your column return! I'm a big fan.

My problem is that I've recently been seeing a woman, and she is pressuring me to move in with her. However, it's only been six months, and there's also a lady at work who I'm attracted to.

What should I do?

Befuddled in Beuford.
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scissorkitty
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Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 789
Location: Escaping the Hair Lair

Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 7:54 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty;

You have such a talent for advice, and are such an aid to our community and our beloved Leader- how did you come to be so wise? I would like to do my best for the Leader and God as well.. is there a way you can suggest to discover where my own talent lie, and how to best use them? I tried to ask my clergyman at my local Temple, and he told me "God will let you know". How will I know if God is talking to me?

sincerely
Watchful in Wichita
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The White Blacksmith
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Joined: 02 Apr 2006
Posts: 2629

Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:41 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

I am a good, married soldier of 22 years. Recently, I was on leave and took my wife on a romantic visit to see a captured rebel killed. I enjoyed it, and cheered with the rest of the crowd when he died, but something has bothered me ever since.

As I'm sure you know, those sentenced to death are allowed to tell the crowds of their misguided beliefs, so that we may see the idiocy that the rebels are preaching and compare it with our Leader's wonderful guidance. However, the man spoke of peace, and rights for all, and 'freedoms' I never knew existed. I find myself reflecting on his words and agreeing with him. I am back on the front now, but my heart is not truly in it and I even let an Infidel escape from infront of me, because I could not bear to kill someone vulneable.

Is there something wrong with me? I have always followed the Leader's words to the letter, and have never faltered in my duties until now. Can you recommend anything to set me back on the straight and narrow?

Yours sincerely,

Unsure in an Undisclosed Location
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Masterweaver
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Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Posts: 1463
Location: Look around

Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 2:56 pm    Post subject:  

To Dorthea Layton:

I understand your mother was recently executed for treasonous behavior, and I extend my sympathies. My brither has also been rooted out as a rebel agetn and is scheduled for official termination. I know what he's done, and I am shamed and appalled. The only question I have: How could I have missed it?

Yours,
Unawar in Urethrek
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Bookwizard
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Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 639
Location: Gallifrey

Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 7:46 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,
My brother has lead a very kind and peaceful life up until now, yesterday he literally went mad. We were all in church and suddenly he went on a rampage and almost killed someone, all the will screaming "I HAVE DONE NOTHING, I HAVE DONE NOTHING, MY PAPER WILL EVANGE ME". We rushed him out of the church and are now hiding him in our basement. He is being looked for by the authorities, but we cant give him up, he is part of our family. Do you have any idea what happened to him, maybe if I figure out that much we will have a chance in court but for now we are at a loss. I don't know what to do, please help me out.
yours,
Panicking in Panama
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scissorkitty
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Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 789
Location: Escaping the Hair Lair

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 5:08 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty.

My teacher says that all rebels are dirty and unworthy of the Love of our Leader and God, but our Temple says that we must help people in our community who are downtrodden and hopeless. How can I tell the difference?

Love
Annette Oscar
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DELETED
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 11:05 pm    Post subject:  

DELETED
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Ronjun
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Joined: 02 May 2008
Posts: 13

Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 12:44 pm    Post subject:  

Dear Dotty,

I have recently been granted an exceptional dispensation from Our Leader and been released from the Slave Camp after a much welcomed Re-education; I love Our Leader. I am very happy because I have been shown the truth, I love Our Leader, and I have been paired with my wife who is a beatiful, law-abiding and fertile citizen -or so the tests indicate-; I love Our Leader. However, despite of all my happiness and joy, I am unable to perform my duty as a proper husband in this society; I love Our Leader. Tests show that I am fertile too, and have gone through several modifications in my sacraments but to no avail; I love Our Leader. My wife also tells me that whenever she insinuates herself to me so we can do what we must for Society, my eyes go blank and I start screaming desperately, events I have no recolection of whatsoever; I love Our Leader. I fear I might be in need of further Re-education, but my wife mentioned that a special sacramental implant might be of better use; I love Our Leader.

What should I do? I love Our Leader.
Impotent in Indiana. I Love Our Leader.
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