City of IF

[Geek_girl72]

Hello everyone, welcome to the newest writing contest of IF, sponsored by the Kingsmen!

This is a bit different than previous contests that have been held. Instead of writing a story, you will be given a chance to describe one character in as vivid detail as possible, in under 250 words. The entry fee is 5 fables, and the winner gets the potful. If you have any questions please pm me. All entries should be posted here on or before November 28.

[dinranwen]

Count me in...Sounds fun!

Anything I need to know, like the rules?

[Geek_girl72]

Just that it's a character you are describing, not telling a story, you could include dialouge if you like...but it has to be under 250 words. This is the first run of this so we might develop the rules as we go. Just give a shot and we'll go from there.

And oh, it doesn't have to be a character in a current SG. The idea is to practice character development.

[dinranwen]

Well, here it goes...A young woman stood on the port bow of the skipper with her amburn hair falling around her face her brown eyes taking in the city with a calm she didn’t have. Brithil Cirya was the daughter of weathly shipwrite, but being dissastified with the life she led in her father’s house, she had become a bard. Who would have ever known that she would be here again?

So now with her lute on her shoulder under the protection of her leather cloak, wearing a tattered green dress, way to thin deer skin boots, and a pack on her back, looking anything but herself, going to the one place in the world she didn’t want to be.

Not to mention trying to stop a wedding, that would probably happen despite her, all because she knew a truth her father didn’t. The truth about who Miss Teris Butterworth, eldest daughter of a dying line, and the truth of why Teris Butterworth really wanted to marry her father.

It wouldn’t be easy stopping this wedding. Teris Butterworth had many connections in the court, all of which could make her life very miserable. There was also the fact that her father was perhaps the most stubborn man on the planet.

But it had to be done. Already stuffed in one of her many pockets in her cloak was a note written in an elegant hand bearing the words “Don’t try to enterfere.” The note was signed by Miss Teris Butterworth.

((Do you have any idea how hard it is to write under 250 words?))

[Argonaut]

That looks more like a story intro than a character description, Dinranwen. I think if you take out most of the stuff about miss butterworth you'd have much more space for Brithil in your 250 words.

[Geek_girl72]

Maybe 250 is too short...

Anyway, good one. If I were writing this I would have focused more on the psycological description of the character, but you did that very well anyway whilest adding her actions and reasons, which is what the overall goal is. If it makes it easier you don't have to have a story context for the charatcer. any method that gives us an idea of what you want us to know about them will work. I'm kind of thinking out loud (or in print?) and not exactly directing this at you anymore. But you could do something exactly like what you did, give us only their personality and nothing else, only their appearance, or so on and so forth.

[D-Lotus]

This is a great idea, Kingsmen! I must congratulate you! :D

My blood boils with excitement. I will try my hand at this. ;)

[Smee]

Jaline

Standing tall, over 6ft, Jaline was used to the looks men gave her. More so, she was used to dealing with them in the only way most men understood. Two raw knuckles on her right-hand spoke of a recent scuffle; some half-blind drunk hadn't notice the definition of hard muscle just visible through the arms of her expensive silk blouse. He had gone to cop a feel, and soon regretted it. Her knuckles might be sore, but he'd be drinking through a straw for sometime.

But few could blame his mistake. Long brunette hair that shone in candlelight framed a soft face set with inviting green eyes. Enough to blind even a sober man to the dangerous glint that was just a look away.

Many men would later claim, wheezing through broken noses, that she had encouraged them. A shy look, a playful toss of her hair. As they approached, perhaps a casual laugh that turned to wild cackle as she unleashed her attack. There was no doubt in their minds that she enticed them because she wanted an excuse to attack.

They spoke of her childhood, clearly something must have provoked this…this…hatred of men. Perhaps her father had beaten her, maybe a drunken brother, or uncle with free hands. But none got close enough to find out.

The only person who knew Jaline, was Jaline.

[JezSharp]

Jonathan


He sat within the corner, observing the life around him, scanning people with his pale blue eyes. He was as ordinary a person as one might find, short blonde hair, a plain blue sweater, jeans, sitting upon a city bench with eyes half closed. He blended into the background effortlessly.

For all his life he’d been intelligent and quiet, self sufficient yet never quite in control. Life had a funny way of suddenly swerving and tilting just when it was least expected…something he regarded as an inconvenience. Order was a thing he both loved and loathed, to have a set schedule – balanced against the boredom of a strict monotonous pattern.

People continued to pour out of the shop before him, carrying bags stuffed with clothes and shoes, he smiled ironically at their expressions of temporary pleasure at the ‘bargains’ they were getting. Others in suits rushed and scurried, yelling into their phones, with a small sigh he watched them rush by…Slowly he stood up and began to walk.

His own family were miles away, life was revolving, changing, thoughts moving and flickering like ghosts across his mind.

I’m a shadow, invisible to all, observing others without being observed…Perhaps some people are born to be popular whilst others are destined to slip unnoticed through the chaos of life – but where does it all lead? With a smile he looked up to the clear blue sky above, because he knew…

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[D-Lotus]

I myself was thinking about going over the limit, but I thought that it would be considered cheating, so after twenty minutes of editing, I finally reduced it to exactly 250 words! :)

Nicolas

He stood among the recruits, smiling self-assuredly. He looked forward eagerly and wetted his lips with anticipation. His aquiline features were resonated by brash, proud sparkling blue eyes. He never twitched, barely moving with the line, as if floating slowly towards his destination.

Behind him, two young men slightly older than him laughed and joked nervously. He allowed his hand to slip into his coat as the wind ruffled his light, brown hair. His fingers touched upon his documentation. The echo of his mother's voice pervaded his thoughts. He quickly erased her strong, overshadowing presence from his mind.

The line began to grow closer to the registration table. His mud-crusted work boots resounded clumsily against the stone slabs, but he kept his focus. He advanced nobly, covering the hole in his pants with his arm.

His lips were dry again, but he let his face be caressed by the cool wind. The uniformed man in the registration table loomed, and he broke into a sweat despite the cold. Without warning, the line cleared and he stepped to the table. The man, tired and sad, asked the routine questions.

"Name?"

"Nicolas Radanovich."

"Age?"

"16."

"Can you kill?" The man asked unexpectedly, fixing him with penetrating black eyes. There was a prolonged silence and no answer. His mother's image appeared in his head, then he whispered; "I don't know."

"Go away, and never come back!" shouted the man at the table, then his eyes hungrily followed the boy's figure sinking away from the darkness.

[Alegria]

Same question as D

Elventhwi

On a rocky outcropping sat a man. Not a man, really, but an elf. He was tall, about 6 foot, and very handsome, even for his race. His most outstanding feature was that he had golden brown hair, the color of a light honey. Unfortunately, this hair attracted bees.

As he fled, he recalled a spell. Lines of light traced through his pale skin, skin like alabaster. He muttered the words through his pale lips, his golden eyes intense with fury. In his eyes you could see flecks of green that were companions to determination. He smiled in satisfaction as the bees fell dead, silently thanking the gods (He was not the best spell-caster in the world).

He strode back home, walking with grace and agility befitting a prince. For a prince he was, if an exiled one. His manor was large enough, about 30 rooms. Each one of them was neat and tidy, decorated in shades of tan and green, his favorite combination of colors. The house was also filled with statues, the handiwork of dwarves, and the best in the known world.

He sat down in his favorite couch, a grand, overstuffed one that begged for a nap, and began to read. Even if he wasn’t a great mage, he was quite the intelligent scholar. He didn’t mingle in the athletic world much, though, but he was still well muscled.

A maid called in the distance, "Elventhwi, your wife is here!"

The elf smiled, and prepared to receive his wife.

[chiacutie]

Ooh, I liked smeeS!

I contribute 10 fables to the pot, just because! And also Ill get a new version of the award to you, or doid i do that already? Cuz i spelled a word wrong.

[Geek_girl72]

Thanks Chia, I think you did mention it. As for the questions Don't freak out about it being exactly 250 words, this first contest is basically just feeling things out. Just make sure you don't ramble on for 10 pages or something, the idea is to practice getting as vivid detail as possible in a short amount of words. You do donate the fables to me, and I send them to the winner. I'm really pleased with the response to this so far, I wasn't sure if very many people would go for it. Oh, and just so you know, you can re-post an edited version of your character for no fee, just as long as they are in be fore the deadline.

[D-Lotus]

When does the voting begin?

[Geek_girl72]

Today actually.

[Smudger]

Poll is up contestants! Vote now :D

[dinranwen]

I'm being a good little girl and not voting for myself, which to be honest I was halfway tempted to do.

Besides, I thought Zephr's Bella was kind of cute, not mention the most orginal out of all ours.

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[Masterweaver]

Aw, I didn't make a character! *pouts dramaticly*

[Geek_girl72]

Don't worry, you'll have a chance next time.

[D-Lotus]

I liked JezShap's. I myself was thinking of writing through the perspective of an animal, but I knew someone else would want to do it, and I was right! :D

Perhaps mine wouldn't be as good as Z's, anyway. ;)

[Masterweaver]

I say they're all kewl!

[dinranwen]

Don't worry Zephr. I completly understand.

I think everyone of these are great, ingenious in fact, and I would have to agree with anyone who said mine could be improved, but hey next time eh?

Like I said, before, the real reason I voted for you, Zephr, is because I was having a difficult time choosing between everyone's so I picked the most orginal, and the best uniquely described character. Which happened to be Bella in my eyes, others might judge otherwise, so be it.

I mean, who would think of posting out of animals eyes and give no clue what this thing was until the last minute, I mean for a while there I was expecting a fierce guard dog, but instead I find that it is a cute a fluffy dog who thinks she's fierce which is so much better. Not to mention funny.

:D

[Smudger]

They were all good quality, but my two personal favourites were Z's and Smee's. Hard choice to choose from but Z get's my vote. Well done contestants! :D

[Masterweaver]

They is all kewl, i can't vote!

I will take bribes though.

[Geek_girl72]

Three-way tie so far, lets see how the next few days go.

[D-Lotus]

Alack! I'm not having much luck. :( Ah well...next time. ;)

[Smee]

Fun comp GG... best of luck with its continuation.

Happy Writing :D

[Geek_girl72]

Still a tie, if it keeps up, I'll break it and add a detailed reason so we know what do in the next compatition.

[P.I.N.B]

voting in place of chia, she wanted smee 2 win so...

i voted in her place :D

[Geek_girl72]

Alright, Smee has won the first character contest! Thank you to everyone who competed and/or commented in this, I couldn't be happier with the response. There will probably be a CC2 after the holidays, and maybe even another Kingsmen sponsored contest, sp keep your eyes open!