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A Glass Friendship: Chapter 1
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Alegria



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.

Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:01 pm    Post subject:  

A Glass Friendship

Chapter I

But thus, my friends, inevitably the seasons must change, the Earth must rotate and revolve around the sun, and new sorrows must be born each day. Life must progress, as if you put something sweet and something bitter in your mouth at the same time, and when you tasted the bitter, you held on because you knew it could become sweet, but the sweetness is tainted by the knowledge that bitterness will come again. So it was in the friendship between selflessness and selfishness continued, sweet, bitter, and tainted, though in more ways than one.

But oh, if they could only have been five forever, young and innocent. For youth does not plan murders, and innocence does not commit it.

Ten Years Later

Laughter filled the halls of the manor, as many people gathered to celebrate a very special day. A birthday, in fact. Today, Frederick Richardson, son of Lord Richardson was turning fifteen. But there was a slight problem. Frederick was nowhere to be found.

===============================================

"I'm going to catch you," Frederick yelled.

"Not if I can help it," giggled a thouroghly winded girl.

"I will, you know."

"No, I don't," said a beautiful red-headed girl, who had momentarily stopped to take a break.

Frederick smiled, he had her. He ran up to grab her, but then she skitted away like a deer.

James came panting up behind him, put on his knees, and barely managed to pant out, "Forget it, Freddy, she's too fast."

Freddy stared at his companion and grinned, "Maybe for you, Jimmy, but I can keep going."

Jimmy knew it was true. Jimmy might be older, but Freddy was more athletic than he'd ever be.

A taunting voice came out from behind a tree, "Are you boys gonna chase me or not? I can't wait here all day."

All day. Freddy groaned and looked at his watch. The birthday toast was in five minutes. He had to be there, but no way he could get home by then. "Listen, Lizzie, I have to go, but Jimmy can still chase you."

Jimmy stared, "I can?"

"You can, and you will."

Jimmy looked calm, but inside his heart leapt for joy. Time alone with Lizzie.

Oh, if the chase hadn't continued!

===============================================
Freddy wasn't happy. He had been reprimanded by his father for being late, and had barely managed to sneak out of the party to get back to his friends. Or, hopefully, a friend and one person who would be a little more. But not a girlfriend, maybe just a friend... with benifits.

What he saw made him angry.

There they were, under the tree, acting as if only they exsisted, kissing without mercy. And the old feeling rose again, loathing.

For it takes only two lover's hearts to destroy another's.

=================
Descision Point

How does Freddy react?
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Alegria



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.

Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:03 pm    Post subject:  

Short chapter, I know, but I thought it would be a good descision point.
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5256
Location: Hell

Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:51 pm    Post subject:  

Depends what type of person he is. If he's more of a wrathful person, then he'll probably jump straight in an attack Jimmy. If Envy is more his element, then most like he'll go back to the party and pretend not to know.

However, he'll then plot Jimmy's downfall, taking away the things he loves, most likely resulting in Lizzie's death as well. As everyone knows, revenge is a dish best served cold.
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Solomon Birch



Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:51 pm    Post subject:  

Yes, short but good. I liked the intro. And a mean D-point...

Hmm, well, he obviously wanted, to put it crudely, to have a crack at 'Lizzie', so he's obviously will react badly. But because he left her alone with Jimmy, you have to question his sub-concious commitment. I think he will get angry, as children do, but it will only be heat of the moment anger. It will pass and thier precarious friendship may continue for a whole longer, at least.

*holds breath* :shock:
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Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 11:21 pm    Post subject:  

He's fifteen. That's old enough to be smart, but not usually old enough to rein in all those feelings that overtake us.

He'll go in, say something poisonous and stomp off. Then, when the anger goes cold, I think he'll apologise, re-befriend the two of them... and plot to break them apart in as miserable a way as he can think of.

This is a good story Alegria. I like it :cool:
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8692

Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 11:38 pm    Post subject:  

Another very nice chapter. :D

I think he will stomp off too. Maybe go through many different emotions. If he is the same as he was in the prologue, he may then decide to pretend to not care about it, but really it will start to feed a dark desire for revenge!

Mwahahahaha! :lol:

I f5 Stoat here, this is shaping up very nicely. I look forward to more chapters. Infact I have decided to award it the Chinaren: award. Congratulations! :D

[Edit]
One slight thing. This is in fantasy. I don't know where you plan to take this, but is it in the right category?
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5256
Location: Hell

Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:07 am    Post subject:  

I'd say this was a fantasy story - I mean, where else would you put it?

And what is up with your sig Chinaren - it's all - blarg!
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8692

Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:16 am    Post subject:  

Quote: And what is up with your sig Chinaren - it's all - blarg!

Sigh. I know. I was trying to make it smaller, but it hasn't really worked. I will do something else with it soon, but I don't have time right now to change it.

Just experimenting. Sorry Algy, :off:
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Ravenwing



Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia

Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:42 pm    Post subject:  

F5 shady. At least this gives Freddy another reason to plot Jame's end.
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Alegria



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.

Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:46 pm    Post subject:  

Well, the only other good place I could think to put it was humour, and that's so uncomfortable. So I decided to put it here.

I guess it's a low fantasy.

Thanks for the award China!!!!!!! :D

Good suggestions all, keep them coming.
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8692

Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:48 pm    Post subject:  

Well, humor is humor/exp AND Misc now, though I think we need another forum the powers that be* don't agree just at the moment. Still, I think HEM may be a more suitable place.

Whatever you do, keep up the good work! ;)


*Not the author of Dear Dotty, KeySmee.
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Ravenwing



Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia

Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:19 am    Post subject:  

Well depending on how this story goes, it really depends on whether or not it should go in the Humor section.
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Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:26 am    Post subject:  

Hey Alegria,

Couldn't avoid starting this story anylonger - it was begging to be read.

And I'm glad I did.

A very intriguing start with some nice dialogue between the characters.

Can't suggest anything other than what Stoat said though - she's knows 15 year old boys it seems, but then I've always suspected she was one ;)

Happy Writing :D
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Shady Stoat



Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950
Location: England

Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:38 am    Post subject:  

Smee wrote:
Can't suggest anything other than what Stoat said though - she's knows 15 year old boys it seems, but then I've always suspected she was one ;)

Nah - but I'm almost as good as one ;)
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8692

Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:14 am    Post subject:  

Shady Stoat wrote: Smee wrote:
Can't suggest anything other than what Stoat said though - she's knows 15 year old boys it seems, but then I've always suspected she was one ;)

Nah - but I'm almost as good as one ;)

I want a glass of what you guys are drinking! ;)
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Ravenwing



Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia

Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:52 am    Post subject:  

To be younger, right C'ren. Youth is a state of mind, you know. ;)
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8692

Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 5:56 am    Post subject:  

Ravenwing wrote: To be younger, right C'ren. Youth is a state of mind, you know. ;)

I am stuck about 21 then. Sorry Algy, :off: again.
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5256
Location: Hell

Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 3:10 pm    Post subject:  

I still feel that stories in aHEM still have a humerous feel to them straight away though. Soily, for instance, had to warn people that his story wouldn't be funny, unless you're sick and twisted.

*goes and sits in the corner*
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Ravenwing



Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia

Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:27 am    Post subject:  

LOL, china. At least you're not stuck at age 1. :cool:

Yeah sorry, Alegria, we're totally off-topic. :(
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Alegria



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.

Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:07 pm    Post subject:  

It only happens in the best storygames.

I want to get this eligible for the IFys, so we're going right into the poll.

Happy voting.
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Solomon Birch



Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 1562
Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....

Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:58 am    Post subject:  

Voted, and good luck with the IFy's Alegria! :D

*holds breath* :shock:
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Ravenwing



Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia

Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:33 am    Post subject:  

Voted.
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Alegria



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.

Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:09 pm    Post subject:  

New chapter will go up about mondayish. Hurry up and get those votes in!!!!!
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5256
Location: Hell

Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 5:07 pm    Post subject:  

Voted as with the old phrase - Revenge is best served cold.
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Alegria



Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.

Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 2:54 pm    Post subject:  

Polls are closed
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