City of IF

Chinaren

As you stroll down Key street, passing by the toiling OFian slaves still busy painting the street lights green, you notice a new poster being put up over an old one proclaiming ‘Beloved is our Orange Mayor!’.

Curious as to what could be important enough to desecrate this valuable piece of IFian heritage, you wander over. The (green clad) man finishes his work, nods at you, and then scurries off to perform his vandalism somewhere else.

The notice he has erected reads:

IFys 2007 are here!

Better late than never!

Nominate your favorite SGame or Linear tale for the Biggest event of the social calendar since Key’s pants split!

Bigger and better than last year by far! This years awards will be held in the same Auditorium, and the presenters will once again be your old favorites Bob McBobsky and Bub Bubba Bub, released early from his long prison term for the suspected brutal murder of his wife, Whisper the White.

Nomination booths have now been set up in CrunchyFrog Plaza! (Formerly Chinaren Square).

Don’t miss out on this star studded event! It’s the one you’ve been waiting for!

You read this pap and then wander off, wondering why on earth anyone would want to watch such rubbish.

Chinaren · Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 5:16 am Post subject:

“…but Messy, our love cannot be!”

“Why oh delectable Nevernevergirl? What can prevent our passion, so bold, so daring that it is?”

“I’ve just found out… I’m your grandmother!”

<The end credits for the popular IF soap, ‘Months of Their Days’ run, and you are about to switch the channel when it flicks to another scene. The camera zooms down from an overhead view of the city, swooping in and stopping in the center of the newly renamed Crunchyfrog Plaza, where a crowd has gathered around a temporary stage.

On this stage a short fat man in a striped black and white suit, complete with top hat, stands next to another man, dressed in a natty pink and green spotted tunic. The first man speaks into a microphone orb…>

“Welcome viewers! In case you’ve just joined us, my name’s Bob McBobsky, and here is my partner in crime… quite literally in the case of his ex-wife, Bub Bubbabub!”

“Thanks Bob! It’s great to be out!”

“I bet it is Bub, those small prison cells replete with large fat men wanting ‘cuddles’ couldn’t have been very nice.”

“Not so bad once you get used to it Bob! So, why are we here today?”

“Why Bub! We’re here to officially open the 2007 IFys of course! Where have you been all year… Oh. Yes. Never mind.”

“So what’s the deal then Bob?”

“Well, our new Green Mayor is throwing her weight around, trying to upstage our glorious old Orange leader…”

“As if such a thing is possible Bob!”

“… and as one of her first acts of desperation, she’s resurrected the old IFy awards!”

“Amazing! Those old things!”

“Incredible as it seems Bub, but the populace seems to be falling for it.”

“I’m staggered Bob!”

“But enough of this. Let’s give a brief rundown of what we can expect from this hackneyed charade.”

“Yes indeed Bob.”

<The camera zooms into Bub, who smiles toothily into the camera>

“The first stage is now open! Nominations are being accepted for the entrants for Best Linear, HEM, Skiffy and of course Fantasy Story! Simply pop over to one of these nomination tents and stick your digit into the relevant hole.”

“It’s as simple as that!”

“Even Masterweaver couldn’t mess that one up Bob!”

“I’m not so sure, but let’s wait and see shall we?”

“Sure thing Bob!”

<Camera focuses on Bob>

“So that’s it! Get down to CF Plaza right now and join in the show! Do it, do it now!”

<The camera flicks off, and an advert for ‘Messy brand underwear’ starts up. You shut the thing off and get your shoes…>

Masterweaver · Joined: 21 Nov 2006 Posts: 1463 Location: Look around

Okay. I have done some bad things in the past. Please get over it.

I will be watching this channel for a while.

LordoftheNight · Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell

Quote: “…but Messy, our love cannot be!”

“Why oh delectable Nevernevergirl? What can prevent our passion, so bold, so daring that it is?”

“I’ve just found out… I’m your grandmother!”

...and you think that's going to stop him? We've all read Psychosis, remember?

Cyberworm · Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 10:44 am Post subject:

I will stand and watch this...

And F5 Lordy.

algu95 · Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 10:52 am Post subject:

*Watches from his scrying Orb*... What? Arn't people allowed to use old-time stuff? You know, I can't understand all these buttons on the TV...

And I will continue to do so :lol:

Rune · Joined: 20 Mar 2007 Posts: 285 Location: Get Lost.

I'd say something but...nah. I'll just stare onward in horror. :-p

NeverNeverGirl · Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 1:16 pm Post subject:

<A aeroplane circles in the sky and the mulittudes raise their eyes heavenward in time to see a parachute blossoming open.

They watch in awe as the figure descends, the parachute tracing lazy circles in the sky and landing with delicate grace on the stage - falling to cover Bob McBobsky and Bubba so they are no longer visible.

The jump suit clad figure removes their helmet unleashing a cascade of raven locks and sheds the jumpsuit with fluid grace to reveal a emerald green (and scanty) ballgown...

Cheers erupt as the crowd take in the sight of NeverNeverGirl, scandal creator, Diva deluxe and A list star - looking divine in a frock by the starlets own fashion label Divine. >

'Welcome all IFians to what will prove to be the greatest thing since the downfall of Ren... the 2007 IFys!' <deafening appluase breaks out> 'I am your host NeNe and by the illustrious grace of our delightful new mayor Ms Crunchy Frog, i declare the IFy nomination period to be open!'

<Again cheering begins..>

'Remember folks the IFys are all about YOU so make sure that you get in quick with your nominations!' The starlet quaffs champagne and people dressed in Green tuxedos mingle through the crowd offering up champagne to the masses.

'Please thank the ex-mayor Ren for supplying us with this delicious nectar!'

<Two Green Guards are suddenly seen dragging away an orange irate furball who appears to be shaking his fist towards the Mayorial Offices.

Bob and Bubba have worked their way out from under the parachute and stand bewildered as NeNe holds the crowd entranced...>

Lilith · Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 3:22 am Post subject:

*forgets shoes at home and walks in barefoot* Well, well, well...... this is.. interesting..... I wasn't around for the first IFys so I can't wait to see where this goes....

WHOOT! GO FANTASY STORYGAMERS! GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!

Guest · Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:32 pm Post subject:

*hovers over the crowd and watches* Must... refrain... from... stealing... IFY awards. Oh hell, where are they? This little theif can't resist.

Mephistopheles · Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 2:57 am Post subject:

yes, even i must f5 lordy on this one. Who cares if she is my grandmother, she's flipping awesome!

Guest · Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 10:51 am Post subject:

The skyline explodes into light as giant illuminated billboards crackle into life around Crunchyfrog Plaza, an image filling the giant screens....

A ghostly voice fills the night air, over the sound of strident fanfares...

"Nominate NOW for the Superhuman Award for Best Character!!!"

Guest · Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 10:58 am Post subject:

The blazing lights change from orange to purple as the image changes again...

The fanfares continue as the ghostly voice announces....

Don't forget to place your nominations for the 'I Don't Believe in Fate' Award for Best New Storygame or Linear!'

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629

*raised eyebrows*

Yet another, it seems, to ad to the growing list of civil servants.