City of IF

[Lilith]

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER HAS STRONG LANGUAGE! NOT FOR THE ONES WITH PARENTS OVER THEIR SHOULDERS OR WHO HAVE NEVER, EVER HEARD A CURSE WORD IN THEIR LIFE!

A SIDE NOTE! THIS STORY IS BUILT ON THE SILLY RUMOURS AND THINGS THAT GO ON IN IF AND IN THE INN! IF, FOR ANY REASON, THE JOKE THAT IS MADE IN A CHAPTER ABOUT YOUR IFIAN PERSONA YOU CAN'T TAKE... THEN GET OVER IT AND DON'T READ THE STORY. THIS STARTED OFF AS FUN AND WILL REMAIN SO AS LONG AS I HAVE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOOD SPORTS WITH THEIR SENSES OF HUMOR!

VENGEANCE



Introduction



The rain torrentially poured down on the fair city of IF, adding an air of apprehension to the exchange that was taking place in the Rotund Tower of the Inn. The recent reconstruction of the Inn allowed for the more explicit interactions of some of the citizens to take place. A short squat figure was speaking emphatically to four other figures that were sitting around a table; the squat figure was pacing and waving it’s arms as it spoke, each time the voice was spoken in vehemence, almost hiss-like. The other four figures had their eyes fixed on this livid figure as it stomped back and forth, their faces all mirror images of one another in shock. He’s never been this ticked off before! HOLY CRAP! was the look that each pair of eyes held as they followed the short figure’s movements around the tower that was above the Inn.

Down below in the bar of the Inn, a few Ifians sat on their barstools, completely oblivious to the ranting above as the screen behind the bar showed the news crew reporting on the disappearances of Jez-Sharp and Idea Master, two moderators that had been active at one time, and suddenly they began to be seen in the city less and less, finally disappearing all together after Crunchyfrog took power as the new Mayor of IF.

One bold reporter-chipmunk approached the Mayoress and squeaked as he shoved a microphone towards the green-clad figure surrounded by work-frogs.

“Mayoress Crunchyfrog, what are your thoughts on the disappearances of two such highly-ranked Ifians? Council members going missing is certainly a problem for you and the rest of your staff.” The chipmunk shuffled closer to catch the distracted Mayoress’s words.

“I don’t care if it was Chinaren’s, take it down and put up a frog-woman holding a whip... Paint it all green, the profanity will not be seen if covered by green paint.....” She closed the phone she was talking into, threw it to a random frog and pivoted to give the cameraman a dazzling smile and spoke into the microphone the chipmunk was struggling to hold up. “Well, you see, as IF grows and gets newer members, some of our older members need to return to RL for extended periods of time. When this happens so much that it affects their moderator duties, they will usually step down and a new moderator is placed in their stead.”

“And if the moderator refuses to step down voluntarily, Mayoress?” The chipmunk squeaked.

Crunchyfrog smiled sweetly. “We’ve never had a moderator refuse to step down voluntarily...” Then her smile disappeared. “Wait! I’ve seen you before! You were that chipmunk scurrying out of the mayoral mansion when I kicked Chinaren out!”

The screen in the bar shows a high-speed chase when the chipmunk squeaks and takes off running as Crunchyfrog chases him across IF’s streets, her sparkly green stilettos clicking with each step she made, which was more of a skipping gait.*

Roars of laughter rang out as the Inn had filled up with Ifians to watch this hilarious newscast with their friends and to, of course, have a few drinks and a few laughs.

Never Never Girl was in her usual place on Lord of the Night’s lap and was encouraging jello shots to all. “Do them off someone’s tummy ” She obliged a demonstration on Lord of the Night and a roar rose up of laughter and shouts of, “Hell yeah mama! Sexy chica!”

“Is that really necessary?” Lord of the Night drawled, his voice slightly off from the consumption of way too much of the stale Stoat ale.

Never smiled at him and snapped her fingers. At the snap, a large cake was wheeled in by a few Ofian slaves. “HIT THE LIGHTS!” She commanded as the candles on the cake lit themselves. A scaled tail curled over to the light switch and flicked it off as Never lead the entire room in three choruses of “Happy Birthday Lordy”.

As the night went on and so did the party, many Ifians found themselves in and out of the Inn. Sasuke, the little half-dragon that had hit the lights pouted in a corner with some sake, muttering things such as “Boss and that stupid chicken suit...” while Cyberworm found himself flirting with the triplets Tramp in a Storm, Vampireidiot, and Phang. Harley stumbled her way in half-drunk already and tilted back the last drops from her whiskey bottle as she sat down on a stool and watched the party herself. She slapped the bar and said, “Brrrruunno! Hit me wif another!” And Bruno, the barkeeper of the Inn, complied.

Many had poked a head in to wish their High Lord Chancellor a happy
birthday: D-Lotus, Hak, Crunchyfrog, Rune, Zephyr, The White Blacksmith, and solus.serpen even popped in with her birthday around the corner as well. A new player who called himself The Dark slid in unnoticed for the most part and began selling questionable items to the younger ones of the crowd; that is until Bruno kicked him out along with everyone else that hadn’t left or wasn’t unconcious already.

Lordy himself ended up passing out in his chair as he had the most booze out
of everyone. Ne-ne clambered out of his lap and dusted herself off. “About time he went out too.. Thought I’d have to send for reserve liquor from the storehouses.”

As Ne-ne muttered to herself, a tall figure approached her and pulled her to
the darkened dance floor, lit only by the speckles of reflections from the mirrored surface of a disco ball. “Hello, Never.” It was Mephistopheles.

“Well hello there to you too.” Ne-ne responded as she was twirled in a circle and drawn back close to Messy.

While Messy and Ne-ne were having their “spotlight dance”, Harley was finishing off her whiskey bottle. “Damn, it’s empty..” She eyed Bruno and paled when the barkeep shook his head in a menacing manner. “Fine then... I’ll just ask someone who can get me more whiskey.”

She made her stumbling way to Lordy’s chair and smashed her whiskey bottle over his head impulsively. When he didn’t wake up, the drunk fairy looked both directions, and then straddled Lordy’s lap and kissed him.

The busted whiskey bottle didn’t wake him but the risk of a busted nut surely did. However, as he regained some conciousness, Harley passed out herself and fell on the floor. Lordy took a few clumsy steps and decided to teleport himself home now that his party was dying.

The two on the dance floor had froze when Lordy got up and then started laughing when he left without seeing them. “He must be really drunk tonite then, stupid Harley,” Ne-ne commented, walking by the three-foot fairy’s prone from.

Cy and the triplets had ended up leaving the party early, saying something
about going to fix something before they were all too drunk to walk straight, let alone handle power tools. “Yeah, power tools,” Messy had said, eyeing Cy with slight envy as he led the 3 girls out of the Inn. Sasuke hadn’t lasted long with his sake; he clambered into the big pile of cushions early on that night and fell asleep, his snores loud enough to wake the drunk Harley.

She grumbled something and then stumbled out of the Inn, holding her head and trying to see straight to walk home.

All the while this ridiculousness was being had, no one saw the black-cloaked figure sneak out the back of the Inn and shake a fist at the revelers, a silent promise of revenge of some sort.



*If she really wanted to catch up fast, she’d be hopping i.e. Leapfrog.*





Well there it is everyone! Keep in mind it's just intro and the first chapter will be out soon. If I don't get it up sometime today or tomorrow, then you may have to be patient until after next Tuesday, my dears. But! Feel free to toss in comments and suggestions. And just so everyone knows, I'm not portraying myself in IF, because, well I'm not there!

And I am also not above bribery! If you want your IFian-self portrayed in a certian way or described in detail, then write it up and send it to me with about oh, say, 50 fables.

;) I hope you enjoyed reading this because I had fun writing every bit of it.. I mean it, every word.

[Mephistopheles]

hmm, interesting story lily. I find that i would have had more of a sparkle in my eye at the mention of power tools, especially drills and reciprocating saws (go on, use your imaginations). anyways, looking forward to seeing more, although, maybe i should be fearful also. but have fun!

[Phang]

We're triplets now? Lol.

By the way I think your vengeance is missing an a. o-)

[Crunchyfrog]

Good so far... :D

[NeverNeverGirl]

hmm theres a bit of a problem with the flow in your style lily... it needs smoothing out a bit. though its nothing major.. its just like you are writing how you were taught to - not how you are feeling it...

but i am an intuitive writer myself and barely have a plan so take it how you will.


Hmm Lordy might not like being usurped LOL though he doesnt liek to dance so a girl has to do it with someone. Though regardless of this - if Ne had seen Harley kiss Lordy she wouldnt be to impressed.. no matter her own daliances NO ONE takes what she has/wants.

(just for accuracy sake of course...)

Where to from here?

[Guest]

Ew! Poison in my mouth! I have no interest in the demon thank you very much!

[D-Lotus]

Wooohooo! Two Bobs! Oh... the story was acceptable, too.

[Mephistopheles]

I remember when you used to enjoy my company Never. ah well, guess that my time is passed. I'll find someone else to dance with next time. Make a note of that Lily! thanks!

[Guest]

Quote: She obliged a demonstration on Lord of the Night

Oh man. Did he have a birthday. Anyway it's almost december jipee. I like the story so far, but the jellow shots off a tummy sounds gross.

[NeverNeverGirl]

Mephistopheles wrote: I remember when you used to enjoy my company Never. ah well, guess that my time is passed. I'll find someone else to dance with next time. Make a note of that Lily! thanks!

Blatancy is for fools. Or those that want their faces ripped off by jealous evil lords.

No one dances like you messy dear - i didnt say i didnt enjoy your company i said that regardless of whats what with me i wouldnt be usurped by anyone else.

No other woman should bother trying - it will simply end with them lying in a hole in the ground while dirt covers their body.

*smiles sweetly*

That goes for both of you.