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Avarice chapter 15 - The Truth.
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 6:44 pm    Post subject: Avarice chapter 15 - The Truth.  

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D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
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Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 7:00 pm    Post subject:  

Is there any option? If he says no, he's stuck.

Anyway, thanks for the history of the future of earth. I knew we shouldn't have colonized; those damn colonies have a tendency to revolt. :shock:
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Chinaren



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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 7:02 pm    Post subject:  

Indeed, but what does he tell them exactly? He's not sure what they will do.

And yes, colonies always do! :D
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D-Lotus



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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 7:15 pm    Post subject:  

Then state that he will not aid them until he has been cured of the Taint.
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Cyberworm



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
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Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 10:55 pm    Post subject:  

There must be no stalling, because his situation is on edge. I agree with D. The therapy should give him time, and it would also help him in their quest (<---- use it as an argument) :D
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Chinaren



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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 12:04 am    Post subject:  

I didn't think of this arument, good one. However, the therapy would take quite a lot of time, which it could be argued they don't have.

Any response to that?
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Mephistopheles



Joined: 24 May 2007
Posts: 612
Location: Not where I want to be.

Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 12:20 am    Post subject:  

yes, thanks for the future history lesson china. but, on to the dp, before i make a comment about taint.

I would have to say that i agree with everyone else. tell them that you will guide them to the portal that you went through, maybe even lead them to the captain, but they have to help him rid himself of his taint so that he can be useful to them. one thing though, why was there no mention of the use of fireballs against those that they are supposedly trying to rescue?

good chappy china. hope the next one has some action in it though.
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Chinaren



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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 1:44 am    Post subject:  

Quote: why was there no mention of the use of fireballs against those that they are supposedly trying to rescue?

You mean when Smur shot at them?

The history thing went on longer than I thought for this chapter, I'd actually planned to move on a bit, but hey, the story seems to write itself sometimes... :shock:
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Mephistopheles



Joined: 24 May 2007
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:05 am    Post subject:  

oh yeah, i guess that there was a little self defense involved, but still...oh well. maybe they can teach him to throw fire also.
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D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 5:54 pm    Post subject:  

Chinaren wrote: I didn't think of this arument, good one. However, the therapy would take quite a lot of time, which it could be argued they don't have.

Any response to that?

We'll see about that. What if I bid for the therapy to be very quick and effective?
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Chinaren



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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:03 pm    Post subject:  

I don't think that would really work D. I want to keep things 'realistic' within the SGame. Smur is too badly 'damaged' to fix up within the timeframes looked at here.

A miraculous transformation wouldn't work very well, plus it would, IMO, ruin the character. I could make it so he feels a bit better or something reasonably quickly though.
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D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:54 pm    Post subject:  

I really don't see how anything in the entire storygame is realistic at all; Shades and tears in the universe don't exist in my side of town, but suit yourself. Only remember that part of the challenge of the challenge thread is to press the writer to use his imagination (at least, I think that has been the result so far). I'm sure if you applied yourself, you could make a speedy recovery 'realistic'. But I will state no further, the final decision is yours.
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:57 pm    Post subject:  

They aren't? We get Shades here all the time. ;)

You know what I mean, realistic within the story. A sudden magical recovery would be rather 'convenient' and somewhat unlikely.

I'll see what I can do anyway.
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The Meaning Of Fear



Joined: 06 May 2006
Posts: 980
Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting.

Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:11 am    Post subject:  

I don't think Smur would like to have tubes stuck into him... He's already deformed enough, and even though it would fix aforementioned deformation, I'd say tubes is still out of the question.

No more suggestions for now... not feeling up to it... coming back to school after 5 weeks is taking its toll.
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Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 5:27 am    Post subject:  

I still go back to the Necromancer's ability with those cubes, and Smur's ability also because he has been touched by a shade. That's more perhaps than the Black Devils capabilities are. Their cubes are different anyway. Their fireballs were a different colour to the Necromancers. He didn't need gloves, did he? So why should Smur?


The Shades have nothing to do with the Taint - so whatever physical changes the shades have made to him - and given him this latent power - won't be cured by the medicine and the tubes.

And anyway, so what if it will take months or years for him to be completely cured of the Taint? Smur could use whatever minimal medicine he gets - even a little cure to great effect. He could return to his tribe. Even with the slightest improvement in his physical health will be a huge WOW factor for them. And he's got to experiment with this latent power of his.

He knows that the necromancer is somewhere in his world, near to where his tribe is. So I would get the tubes installed, in order to at least get the regenerative process started. Lead a search party to the tribe, where HE - backed up by the Devils, takes control over the tribe by whatever means and sorts out a search party.
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:29 pm    Post subject:  

Very well, poll is up!

Step on the toad of voting.
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:57 pm    Post subject:  

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Chinaren
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 2:33 pm    Post subject:  

Quote: Honestly… why do they care so much about the captain? At this point, he’s basically just another casualty right?

That would be true, except, rather foolishly, the captain has 'the key', without which, they can't take off. :D

And good point about Smur's daughter. I hadn't forgotten about her, rest assured.
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Guest
Guest





Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 9:08 am    Post subject:  

Fly, be invisible, dream hop, breathe water, be perfect in everything you do, have a shadowy past, a mysterious lover....

[You make the character... You make the powers... You decide what You say and when You say it.

The power is Yours!

Superhuman - enjoy the ride!


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Chinaren
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 3:22 am    Post subject:  

This one's next on my list. I'll likely start writing tomorrow, so last chance to get some votes in.
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Crowkiller
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Joined: 09 Oct 2007
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 8:01 pm    Post subject:  

Brilliant chapter!! I think that his number one motivation now would be to get out alive and find his daughter. so if he takes control of his old tribe it gives him many more resources to find her. Great stuff again
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