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Chapter 5
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Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:36 pm    Post subject: Chapter 5  

The story so far: Robbie is a boy with an overactive imagination. He can talk to the ghost of his dead brother, but his parents are distressed when he reveals this fact to them. His brother's ghost, in order to console Robbie, offers to transport him to a different world where people will appreciate his imagination. Robbie wakes up in a different world, sure enough, but it isn't as wonderful as he expected. There is only barren terrain and faraway industrial towns. Then he notices a large figure approaching, which turns out to be a man he befriends, and who, in place of his name 'Citizen 103', he calls Jack. Robbie and Jack descend towards one of the towns, where they encounter a guard. Fortunately, they distract him and evade him, and then decide to visit Jack's farm. On the journey there, Jack divulges his admiration for his grandfather, who appears to have been a man of some importance. Jack's farm turns out to be a small shack with a tiny plotland. Once Jack gets some papers there, which he uses to prove to a factory boss that he has completed his work for that day, they drive back to town in an old motorcycle. When they approach the factory, they are again confronted by someone, except this time, the woman who confronts them, Citizen 2, seems to be someone powerful. She orders Jack away into the factory and commands Robbie to follow her into a certain room, where Robbie meets Citizen 1, otherwise known as Bill. Bill demonstrates to Robbie that he can create a bird simply by visualizing it, which he does. Robbie is wonder-struck by this strange power and demands to know more, and Bill offers his assistance. Bill helps Robbie control the world around him with his imagination- he even learns how to sprout wings and fly. Bill leads Robbie to a church where he amasses treasures taken from the populace. He explains that this world lost its imagination long ago, and that its people have no capacity of creativeness. That's why Robbie is so important; he does have imagination, and a lot of it. However, Robbie is betrayed; Bill intends to use Robbie's imagination as a source of fuel to run his factory. Bill traps Robbie with handcuffs that limit his ablities, and then Citizen 2 leads him to a strange room which contains a machine. In this room, there is a girl strapped to a machine already, and the machine seems to be devouring her imagination. Fortunately, the machine malfunctions, and Citizen 2 must find someone to fix it. She gives Robbie enough time to think of an escape plan...

Chapter 5

Time seemed to freeze as Robbie's mind raced for an answer; then time began to thaw and run its natural course in harmony with the boy's innate creativeness. Clenching his teeth, he held the screwdriver high up in the air, in between his two shackled fists, and brought it down on the camera with a tremendous crash. The camera, face-level with Robbie, shattered, and its broken fragments narrowly missed his eyes.

Robbie paused and surveyed the devastated remains of the camera, momentarily amazed by his own audacity. Grown in confidence, he hurried over to the bound girl and undid her constraints as well as he could. Then he removed the thought-devouring helmet from her blond, ruffled head. The machine, somehow detecting the detachment, whirred softly as it died down. Unfortunately, the girl wasn't as responsive; she greeted her deliverer with a blank stare.

Frustrated by her lack of response, Robbie shook her shoulder with roughness.

"C'mon, wake up! We've got to hurry!" his agitation was manifest in his voice. The girl at last raised her hand, ever so slowly, and touched her face. Robbie, seized by an outburst of distress, moved away from her in search again of a means of escape. He slipped into the well- room again, and impulsively stripped the hose from the wall, which was only loosely attached by a couple of plastic rings. Hunting about him, he discovered the valve's outlet and was struck by a bright idea.

"Hey girl! Come here and help me." he shouted, but the pretty little blond was yet to recover from her ongoing shock. She was now holding her hands in front of her face and looking at them intently, perhaps in admiration of their thin, dexterous fingers.

Robbie, meanwhile, hastened to locate the origin of the thick white hose. He found it; the hose, which was surprisingly flexible, had a round gadget with circular screwdriver rings at its end. With the instinctive ingenuity of a child, he was quick to associate the hose's gadget with the valve's outlet. He connected the two, and immediately power began pulsing through the hose, noticeable to Robbie by the emanating vibrations.

Wild with excitement, he began to cross back into the first room, tugging for the hose to follow. The stopcock of the hose was closed, and the amassed energy within it was building up and causing the hose to swell unnaturally, like a snake after devouring its prey.

Just as Robbie emerged from between the wall and the valve, the door was violently kicked open and a figure was revealed standing in the doorway.

"Watch-out, girl!" Robbie roared, and he released the stopcock. The next moment was a blinding flash. A blast of pure energy gushed forth from the hose like water and air from a whale's blowhole. It was a throbbing current of blue electricity; a shimmering pillar of raw energy; a swirling mass of churning voltage, and it struck like lightning.

Robbie lost control of the hose as it began to thrash violently, and it knocked him into the wall. During a few moments, the hose reared itself and writhed in the air, showering raw electricity almost everywhere, and once again time seemed to freeze as Robbie watched in a dazed state. Then someone shut down the factory's power, the hose somehow abated, and the entire building was immersed in total darkness.

It was too late, however, for Robbie to avoid seeing what had happened to the figure in the doorway. The initial blast had reached its intended target and carried out its terrible effect. The figure had simply evaporated, turned into ashes. Robbie couldn't erase the image of the body sizzling and then bursting into dust.

From ashes we came, and to ashes we will return.

Robbie wiped away his tears at the remembrance of his few visits to the neighborhood church. Then, he gathered his courage and called out.

"Girl... girl! Are you there? Are you ok?"

"Oui. Je suis ici." answered a feeble voice.

"What?" Robbie was so surprised he couldn't avoid his exclamation.

"Ici." she repeated. It began to dawn on Robbie that she was speaking a different language. Maybe they speak this weird language in one of the other towns, he wondered. He moved towards the sound of her voice, stumbling as he groped around. He grabbed her cold hand and moved towards where he thought the door was. He was still considerably hampered by the handcuffs.

They reached the doorway and tripped over an unconscious body. Apparently, there had been more than one foe in the skirmish. Robbie and his new companion stepped into a hallway, but the darkness remained.

They hurried down the long hallway until their eyes became adjusted and they found another door in the wall. Up to this point, Robbie and the girl had been so out of breath they weren't able to talk, but as Robbie put his hand on the doorknob, he turned to her to ask a question.

"What's your name?" He wanted to know whether to trust her, and it all hinged upon her answer to this simple inquiry.

"Comment?" the girl didn't understand.

"I'm Robbie" he pointed at himself, "Who are you?" Then he pointed at her.

"Je m'appelle Noemie." she replied, understanding his meaning. Robbie breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't a Citizen. He opened the door cautiously and peeked outside. Everything was dark, but Robbie distinguished an assembly line. The workers were all concentrated on one side of the room, listening for instructions from someone on an elevated podium. A small low window, the only one in the room, streamed forth with light. The position of the sun made it so that the beam of light fell upon the group of workers, and then projected their enlarged shadows upon the wall, creating an eerie effect.

"Divide yourselves into pairs and search for those brats!" screamed the person on the podium; it sounded like Bill. The shadows began moving. Holding their breaths, the two children backed out, closed the door, and kept running down the hallway, only to discover that it ended in a locked door; yet they could smell the fresh air outside through the space in the hinges. They searched in vain for another means of escape, and as they were about to turn back, they heard footsteps coming their way. It was a dead end; they sat down against the corner, flattening their bodies against the wall and breathing as quietly as possible, hoping that the darkness would conceal them.

A large man approached; his footsteps resounded throughout the hallway. He stopped fifteen feet away from Robbie and Noemie. He was squinting in the deep darkness, searching, but he hadn't seen them. He began to back away slowly, and Robbie almost breathed a sigh of relief, but he caught himself in time.

Then the lights went on. The man was staring directly at Robbie, who was frozen in fear. The man furrowed his pale brow as his green eyes met with Robbie's. He was wearing the same old faded jacket.

"Citizen 103, have you seen them?" called a female voice from afar.

"Jack..." pleaded Robbie, in a whisper. Jack hesitated. He caressed his old jacket reverently as he thought.

"No, they're not here." he answered finally. He pulled out some keys from his jacket and swiftly opened the last door. An alleyway beckoned.

"Raw-bee, you get out of here. I'll try and stop them as long as I can."

"Thank-you." said Robbie, as he darted out with Noemie.

"I'll make them pay for what they did to my granddaddy. Damn straight." smiled Jack grimly, and he closed the door behind him. Robbie and Noemie hugged the corners as they escaped, weaving in and out of all of the side-streets. Robbie was sure that if he could find a way to get rid of the handcuffs, they wouldn't need to flee at all. He could simply conjure, well, anything. I could imagine a dragon that would burn them all, he grinded his teeth. How would he free himself of the handcuffs?

They could break into one of the houses and try to find something of use to snap off the steel cuffs. Otherwise, they could flee into one of the other towns. But what about the church? Was there a possibility they could find help there? Maybe they could do something with all of those treasures. The priest had said something about fishing- what was that supposed to mean? And what about Jack's moped- surely it was still parked where they had left it? Or maybe they should return to where Robbie first appeared, as there might be a way to return to their world in that place. But somehow, Robbie detested the thought of fleeing. He felt betrayed by Bill, and there was a violent hatred inside him which he had only experienced once before, when he had fought another boy for teasing him in front of a crowd. Besides, he had already killed someone in that boiling room with the hose, so what did it matter if he killed another, he was already guilty, right? But combat could endanger Noemie, and Robbie felt as though he liked her already; she was a pretty thing. Although... she could be turned into a weapon- after all, she didn't have any handcuffs on, and she might still be able to use her imagination, even if it isn't very powerful. What would it be- fight or flight? And how?
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Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:46 pm    Post subject:  

Reconstructed posts for Chapter 5

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008
4:08 am

Nice D. I have had to re-assess my thoughts of Robbie cause of this chapter. Before, I thought that he was a nice little boy, but now i think that he is bit more cruel, apathetic and selfish. not necessarily bad traits, but, it wasn't the image that i held before. good chapter, thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

I say that he goes and finds the priest, for Robbie needs to fish around for a little more info, know his enemy better, before forming any sort of attack plan. The priest and Bill don't seem to get on well, so, the priest may be an ally for Robbie. oh, and get the damn cuffs off so he can imagine the pretty girl speaking english so he can understand her. Chinaren
Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008
7:01 am Nice one D!

I'm with Messy here on the going to the priest thing, though he needs to be careful, as they may expect that move.

Try and get the girl to imagine something up that will get the cuffs off, though I suspect the cuffs are only a kind of mental barrier, a suggestion of restraint if you will, and if he believes, he can shatter them. Crunchyfrog
Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008
7:25 am
I'm with Ren on the idea that if he believes, he will shatter the cuffs - and would go so far as to say that could be the only thing that will get them off.

In an earlier chapter a museum was mentioned. He never went there, (DP sent him to the steeple) and I still think there are some interesting artifacts to be found there.

I think he should try to escape on the moped, but somehow end up in the museum. D-Lotus
Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008
8:59 pm

In an earlier chapter a museum was mentioned. He never went there, (DP sent him to the steeple) and I still think there are some interesting artifacts to be found there.

You're right! I myself had forgotten, but now that you mention it, I can make it fit into the story... if the vote result permits it. Only please don't forget that there might be guards at the museum; don't take anything for granted. Kirranna
Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008
9:27 pm
I agree that they should visit the priest, have him help them take the cuffs off, because he actually has a fairly good imagination, he just never let Bill know.

Then they hop on the mo-ped and drive to the museum where they find something that can be used to help them free the citizens, or they open the church and scream for people to come get their stuff...idk.

Oh and I like how Robbie's attitude has changed! Zephyr
Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008
5:17 am
Well, Iím gonna go for cutting off his handsÖ surely he can find something to do that with. Refreshingly well written chapter D! CunningFox
Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008
1:23 am

I say getting the cuffs off is top priority. Surely they can find something that could do that job if he cant imagine it.

Im enjoying this one. NeverNeverGirl Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 10:27 pm
okay i think that they should get back to the farm. Jack has helped him once and he wants revenge... they can get the cuffs off there with some crazy farm machinary..

maybe the girl can summon a GIAGANTIC Eagle to carry them there.

I think that they are by themselves for a bit before jack gets back - enabling them to make friends and for jack to throw off the guards that may be trailing him... D-Lotus
Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008
11:02 pm
Chapter 5 Polling

Thank-you for all of your suggestions, now it is time to decide Robbie's fate. Will he fight back, escape, or become an eternal prisoner?

I'm eager to write this new chapter, it's going to be a lot of fun- Robbie will have to make some serious choices.

Happy Voting D-Lotus
Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008
3:13 am
I'm posting to draw attention to the fact that I am closing the poll this Friday!
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Joined: 07 Oct 2007
Posts: 639
Location: Gallifrey

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:24 pm    Post subject:  

Wow, I just finished reading all of the chapters and am loving it so far, I think that Robbie could do a number of things. Robbie should go to the church to ask a bit more about the swamp, and then use the moped to get away if its still there jack left it. Again I have to say marvels work, I love the writing style as well, cant wait until the next chapter.
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Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 12:35 pm    Post subject:  

Thanks, bookwizard. Actually, the poll has already been closed. The vote was for Robbie to use the moped to escape, but somehow end up in the museum, and to try and remove the cuffs.

I'm sorry about the long wait, but it's been very hectic lately, due to the long hours of rehearsal I have been dedicating to a theater play, and more recently, to the time I have dedicated to the opening night and succeeding performances.

However, I am nearly finished with the new chapter, and I hope I can get it up by tomorrow.
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