City of IF

[Key]

The first chapter of the featured storygame "The Archer's Quest" has been posted:

Chapter 1: The Archer

This is the latest story in the Wheel saga, and a sequel to the novella "The Archer's Flight". Welcome to Wheel fans and to newcomers! A new chapter will be posted every Sunday night.

Posting and voting is complete for Chapter 1. Thanks to all who participated.

For more about the storygame, see the New Players Start Here topic in this forum.

[Masterweaver]

Tis most intriuging, my good king. Perhaps...

Stop. Look around. See what in the name of the Makers is going on. Then walk away. There are other paths to where you're going, right?

EDIT: Do I win a prize for posting first?

[LordoftheNight]

Is that the same picture the first book had? It looks familiar.

I think she should go down to the army - I want to see how the different stories tie together, and though it's been a while since I last read a Wheel story, I'm sure Minos's army was mentioned going to war before.

[Aponi]

I think she misses her grandfather - that might win out over caution and send her down to the camp. Whether to go upfront and ask about her grandfather in hopes that he's alive and has mentioned her, or to sneak around and scout the camp first, I don't know. Either way, it's inevitable that if she goes down there, she'll be caught and given a hard time about her appearance.

So, if she stays, she'll be caught. If she attempts to spy on the camp first, she'll be caught. If she goes down and asks about her grandfather, she'll be caught... But if she runs away, she won't get any news - and will probably be caught. :-) I'm sure she knows this, so, I think she'll get it over with and attempt to meet the army upfront.

I haven't read the first story, so I'm curious: has she ever tried to make herself look more "normal"?

[solus.serpen]

Yes...she dressed up as something, although I can't for the life of me remember what. A satyr? A faun? Something with two hoofs and hairy legs anyhow.

Umm,
Quote: You have no animal parts to your body, nor the paired selves of Twins who otherwise look like you: instead, you are singular of form, with fingers, toes, and a female form.

I thought the repitition of 'form' sounded wrong here, but otherwise a great beginning. :D

I think she should skirt around the edges of the camp, keeping her ears open. It's too risky to assume that her grandfather is there and can vouch for her. Better to hear news conspiciously, hm.

~Solus ;)

[dinranwen]

I say skirt the army...widely. In fact if I had the choice I would avoid the armies enterally. You know nothing about this force, and to be found by any race but the Centaurs who maybe, maybe know her grandfather could mean death or worse. The danger is just to great, the things she knows far to few. If she wishes to see if her grandfather is with the army, a disguise as a saytr, faun or nymph, and the cover of the night is what she needs not this open going in the day with no caution whatsoever.

So in conclusion, I say she skirts the armies for nows, and hides herself the best she can in the woods, disguise herself, and wait for the night to cover the imperfections of disguise before she searches for her grandfather.

[The White Blacksmith]

Din! *jumps on Din and stops her fleeing*

I would have to F5 Din, as some disguise will buy her enough time to get past patrols, and once she reaches her grandfather she'll be vouched for. However, there is always a risk of him not being there, or being too injured to speak, so she should send the horse into the camp first, to scout for her. It seems intelligent; she should be able to get a message through to it.

I haven't read the first story either, so excuse any elementary mistakes I make.

[Key]

Hey everybody, thanks for the suggestions. :D So far I've got:

Go down to the army openly
Skirt around the camp trying to get information
Go into the wilderness and avoid the army completely
Go into the wilderness and create a disguise

In response to your questions, yes, Deica was at one time disguised as a Goatfoot (a satyr). She was being presented to the centaur nobility by the Twin ambassador, and the ambassador wanted to disguise her and then reveal her disguise for maximum impact.

That disguise worked, but it was professionally done with special materials. It's not likely Deica could create anything remotely as convincing by herself in the wilderness; the best she could hope for would be to fool someone from a distance away or in very poor light.

I'll keep the thread open for posting for another day, then add the poll.

:-)

[NeverNeverGirl]

okay it would fairly kick ass if we could all post like you.... care to run a workshop or FAQ??

*back to the story had to stop to comment on how cool that looks first*

okay back again. I take it this was how you intended for a SG to be? I think i may have to give this a try at some point - it seems like it may be a challenge.


to the DP... skirt the army - they are in battle mode and will shoot first ask later - you may just be able to avoid the scorpion guys if you go deep enough into the wild. We mustn't forget our original quest - following the milk roads outwards...

[Mother Goose]

Yes, avoid the army! Deica has had a taste of captivity and, much as she would like to see her grandfather, the chance that she could find him in a large group like that (if he's even still alive, or with this particular gathering) is not worth the risk of death or capture.

I agree with Nene, follow the original quest, if it's possible to get past the troops without discovery.

[D-Lotus]

Nice. It's nice to see a wheel story again.

At first it took me a while to become accustomed to the second person; it was like a red flag jumping out at me all the time, but eventually I got used to it.

The style is simple but smooth and flawless.

DP- She can lay a trap for one of the scouts (hopefully she can find a solitary scout) and then interrogate him about her grandfather before releasing him.

[Key]

OK, poll is up and will run through Thursday. Vote away!

Quote: okay it would fairly kick ass if we could all post like you.... care to run a workshop or FAQ??

Thanks, Nene. :D I used Adobe Flash to create that, which lets you make things a little nicer than what you can post on the forum. I'm happy to help teach anyone, but you kind of need the software.

HTML could produce something similar, but you need to know that and/or have HTML editing software, too.

Anyway, I'm all in favor of adding graphics and experimenting with formats, so if you want help, just let me know. But you do need some software to start.

[Lilith]

This is the first Wheel story I've read, and I love the simplicity of it, yet it's intriguing at the same time and keeps my attention. I would have to f5 Dinranwen on this one... sorry it took me so long to get to reading this one as well.. anyway... off with me to vote!

[DELETED]

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[Crunchyfrog]

I've just got to this.... must be the slowest of the lot! :D

I found the second person approach a little difficult to deal with too, but I guess I will get used to it.

Don't have much more to add than what's already been said, except that without knowing Deica that well my vote went towards what I'd do...

Great to get the chance to participate in a Wheel story, finally. :)

[Chinaren]

I thought I'd commented on this already. Apparently I'm even more decrepit than I thought. :?

Anyway, I can't remember what I thought my suggestion in my non-existent post was, but I f5 the second person perspective thing. It really puts me off reading it actually, though I understand why you've had it done.

I'd really like to see you writing something new btw Key. I think you write most excellent humor, from the short pieces I've seen, and it would be great to see a story (even a short) by you in this genre. Doesn't have to be a wheel one of course.

[/inane rambling]

[EDIT] Ha, and broke the tie too.

[Key]

Polls are closed! The winning entry is "Go into the wilderness and avoid the army completely." New chapter will be posted Sunday.

[Key]

Chinaren wrote: Anyway, I can't remember what I thought my suggestion in my non-existent post was, but I f5 the second person perspective thing. It really puts me off reading it actually, though I understand why you've had it done.

Yes, it's interesting that the second person voice hasn't taken off in storygaming. All the Wheel stories have been in second person, and to me it works well for that form (though for the books I change them to third person). But there are few, if any, other storygames that have followed that.

Even if it's not to your liking, hopefully it's something you get used to quickly. I didn't get many comments about the voice for most of the Wheel stories, and I think it's because I didn't wait so long in between them, so people were used to it.

Quote: I'd really like to see you writing something new btw Key. I think you write most excellent humor, from the short pieces I've seen, and it would be great to see a story (even a short) by you in this genre. Doesn't have to be a wheel one of course.

Thank you, though I can't remember what humor pieces I've written that you're referring to. But I think I'm too lazy to be a good writer - I enjoy the final product, but find it hard to get through the grinding out of words.

If someone wanted to resurrect Storychain, that might inspire me. I've always thought that form a lot of fun.

:-)

[Crunchyfrog]

(OT :blush:)

Ah storychain! I'd forgotten about that. It was the first post I ever made on IF because I thought it was way cool for newbs to get stuck in! I'll certainly get around to that one again VERY soon! o-)