City of IF

Key · Joined: 08 Feb 2004 Posts: 2652 Location: The Royal Palace

The next chapter of the featured storygame "The Archer's Quest" has been posted:

Chapter 5: Wolf Howls

Posting and voting are complete for chapter 5

This is the latest story in the Wheel saga, and a sequel to the novella "The Archer's Flight". Welcome to Wheel fans and to newcomers! A new chapter will be posted every Sunday night.

For more about the storygame, see the New Players Start Here topic in this forum.

sir wax · Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:38 am Post subject:

:shock:

wow, i'm enamored with this story now. i think that chapter 4 and even a little bit of 3 for some reason didn't catch me as much as this one did. i also must say that, i almost didn't feel like reading this chapter at first because of that, however, once i started reading it, i had to see this one through. i think you are getting better at the first person descriptions, motions and also knowing the focus of your direction of this story; this definitely feels more like how it should always be, to me anyway. i think your action/feeling and strategic/logistical descriptions were not only better, but more balanced and even; the right amount of feelings and thoughts with the correct amount of action and thinking. It was the perfect blend, you know what i'm saying? The flow was totally better and i cannot see any errors, dull spots, or world breaking moments for me. i got totally enveloped in this world of Wheel again.

ok, now for my choice. if i were Deicia, i would try to trail the wolf-beasts, i want to know who's side their allegiances are with, so i would wait for the opportunity to catch them speaking about it again. i would start to catch up with and trail the group i saw had the worst hearing traits for the animals heads that were on these wolves. i would also prepare myself for the chance they did hear to out run them with my horse.... or just summon the power of my bear voice again and make them scatter. :-D

remind me again why we are on our way to the Serpintines? who are our allegiances with also even though your Grandpa (and fam) was a Centaur. thanks for this well written chapter and giving me another world to dream about.

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629

Quote: There is still hours of daylight ahead of you.

I think this should be plural. Other than that, a good chapter! I say she doesn't walk on just yet, but goes into their cave and examines that. There may be clues to their allegiance and general disposition in there, and it'll be safer than trailing them.

She's trying to find the Serpentines for information, bw. She's most similar to them in form, and she needs to find what she is.[/quote]

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Key · Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:24 pm Post subject:

OK, thanks for the comments and suggestions, everyone. :D

So far we've got:

Follow the wolves and look for an opportunity to spy on them
Enter the cave and look for clues about the wolves
Avoid the wolves, and try to view the battle from the sidelines

Anything else? One day left before voting...

:-)

The Powers That Be · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:31 pm Post subject:

I enjoyed this chapter, although the story does seem to be veering dangerously close to "just one damn thing after another" territory. Like Sir Wax, I had to work to remember what our main objective is. If I remember, we want to find the Serpentines in hopes of learning more about ourself (yeah, yeah, you know what I mean). Also, it would be nice to see if Grampa is still alive. Anyway, all this other stuff is a distraction. Follow the wolves, but not to learn more about them. Follow them only because they seem to know where the Serpentines are. We won't hesitate to leave their trail if things get too hairy or another method of approach to the Serpentines seems more promising.

Key · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 7:48 pm Post subject:

OK, poll's up!

:-)

Crossfire · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 8:03 pm Post subject:

Just caught up. It's up to your usual standard... *smiles*

I decided that the best option was to follow the wolves and spy on them. The more information that our protagonist has, the better, and since she has to go in that direction anyway (or so I've gathered), it's worth the risk.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

*smiles again and fades elsewhere*

Aponi · Guest Joined: 29 Nov 2007 Posts: 51 Location: "Calderia"

I voted for learning more about the wolves because, even though they're scary, brutal, and a little revolting, she must feel a little kinship with them. She's a misfit, and they're just about as misfitted as they can get. The welcome they can expect from the Serpentines might give her an idea of how she would be received.

So that would be the reason she's interested in them, and it isn't so far from her purpose after all - to find out where she belongs. Not that I think it's a good idea though. I don't believe she belongs with wolves, serpentines, centaurs, or anything she's met yet.