City of IF

Lilith · Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:46 am Post subject:

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER HAS STRONG LANGUAGE! NOT FOR THE ONES WITH PARENTS OVER THEIR SHOULDERS OR WHO HAVE NEVER, EVER HEARD A CURSE WORD IN THEIR LIFE!

A SIDE NOTE! THIS STORY IS BUILT ON THE SILLY RUMOURS AND THINGS THAT GO ON IN IF AND IN THE INN! IF, FOR ANY REASON, THE JOKE THAT IS MADE IN A CHAPTER ABOUT YOUR IFIAN PERSONA YOU CAN'T TAKE... THEN GET OVER IT AND DON'T READ THE STORY. THIS STARTED OFF AS FUN AND WILL REMAIN SO AS LONG AS I HAVE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOOD SPORTS WITH THEIR SENSES OF HUMOR!

Chapter 5: The Plot Thickens... Or Does it?

Lily and Solus gave each other a look and then rushed out of the room, coughing and still gagging.

“I thought I was going to suffocate from the smell It’s like scummy pond water ” Solus wailed, sucking in deep breaths of fresh air.

“Man, I should have never given her those heels as a present. Now she’s addicted ” Lily wheezed.

“I guess we should find Smudger..... Hey Maybe we could buy her a new pair that have those stink-free insoles?” Solus suggested, catching up the hem of her robe and rubbing her nose with it to try and get the horrid smell out of her memory.

“Right,.. But hunchback first, shoes later.” Lily agreed as they set off for the Open Forum.

They ran into Phang and her dwindling crew, now consisted of Trampinastorm, Mastermind, The White Blacksmith, and The Meaning of Fear; Sasuke had to rush off when Mastermind awoke and discovered the doodles of male body parts on his face. Phang had successfully wrangled Whitey and Meanie off of each other for the time being, but the sneaking looks back and forth told her that they wouldn’t be for very long. Mastermind had taken to laying about on the street now, staring at one singular brick in the road while Storm had become fascinated by something shiny on the fountains statue and was currently clambering her way up to try and reach it.

Phang, after banging her demonic head on the wall, sat on the edge of the fountain and pouted. This really sucks.. We need to find a better way to recruit people for emergencies... She looked up as she heard Lily and Solus approaching.

“Hey.. Smudge been around Open Forum lately? We know he likes to terrorize the n00bs.” Solus called to Phang as Phang stood up.

“Mm not now.. And we’ve been here most of the day... Tried the Inn?” Phang responded.

Lily shook her head. “No dice there. Rai and myself were there this morning and we were the only patrons there.. No one was in after we left and I think I saw Bruno closing early.”

“Then best try at Lordy’s mansion. He’s probably polishing the silverware for some moldy cheese.” Phang suggested.

Lily and Solus looked at each other making a face. “Care to lead the way?” Lily suggested.

Phang shrugged and responded with a “Sure,” as she began a brisk pace away from Open Forum.

************************************

“Dinranwen?” JezSharp whispered in shock and disbelief. “How did you..?” He was silent as the cloaked figure extricated herself from the shadows and pressed a finger to his lips.

“Hush now, my contacts are mine and mine alone.. I got the message a little late, due to my absence but that does not matter now..” She reasoned aloud as she pulled forth a key and unlocked the chains and shackles that bound Idea Master and JezSharp to the table and to the wall.

“Oy! What the?” Idea Master slid off his chair and onto the floor with loud smack.

Din winced as she helped him up and grasp one by each arm. “Hang on, boys.. You’re about to get the ride of your life, through shadow..” She warned as she strode back into the corner of shadow that she had stepped out of only minutes ago.

***************************************

“So the entire apartment is a loss then?” Crunchy queried into her phone as she paced her office. She had just received the report from the small bio-hazard squad at Harley’s apartment as well as the med team looking after her and now the other Ifians, all normal-sized and in hospital beds at the quarantined facility in AN, a small off-the mainland country that was allied very closely to IF.

“Fine go ahead, do what you have to. I don’t want this spreading anymore than it already has.” She hung up the phone and tossed it on her desk, pouring herself a shot of the brandy as she sat down in her chair. They’ve got the infected on a weak Idearium solution just to keep them alive, but it seems as though it is kinda futile. What is this? It seems to attack the hands first and then it gets to their personality, the things that make them Ifians. I saw the several scribbled pages of writing that Rai had been working on... she couldn’t focus on anything.... random pieces of thought here and there. Messy’s pages.. He couldn’t write about sex if it would save his soul... D-Lotus...that was just.. Eww... Ne.. Dull, boring.. Lordy...upbeat, fluffy and chipper... eww for him.

Finally, after some hard thought, Crunchy stood, knocked back the rest of her brandy and opened her phone once more. She hit the very first speed dial.

“Hello?”

“Hello, yes this is the mayor of IF. I need you to shorten King Key’s vacation a bit. We have a situation here...”

“We at the Glaceau Institute do not take orders from..”

“I’m sorry, would you like me to expose the small island of AN as an enemy? I’m sure that you could hold up against siege for about... 3 hours against IF’s special forces.”

“Key has just informed us he is checking out early. G’day, ma’am.” Click.

Crunchyfrog chuckled to herself. Just takes the right amount of pressure here and there to get things rolling properly.

**********************************

Cyberworm rapped on the door with the back of his hand and the door opened on it’s own. He stuck his head in and called out, “Hello? Anyone home?” He stepped inside, leaving the door open behind him. The Dark stopped Player of Fates from moving any closer.

“Whatcha do that for, man?” Player of Fates whined. “I wanted to hire one of Muddy’s girls for the weekend.. Maybe two.. C’mon, man...”

“As admirable as your intentions might be, The Dark knows this house and it is not Muddy’s house. It is a torture chamber...” The Dark watched Cy enter the house, completely oblivious to the dangers inside.

“Oh shit dude,... maybe we should tell him and get him outta there... then maybe he could take us back to that chick.. I’d have a go around with her..” Plates muttered on about the things he’d like to do to that piece of ass as The Dark pondered getting Cy out of trouble.

And he pondered a second too long because as Cy approached the stairs just inside the door, he was grabbed from behind, had a gag stuffed in his mouth and was bashed over the head so that he fell unconcious.

When he woke up, he was tied to a table, naked with bindings on his wrists, ankles, around his waist and neck.

“Shouldn’t be so eager to rush in somewhere you’re not welcome, Cyberworm..” A figure approached from the doorway, a blade in the figure’s hands.

So who is the figure? This isn't Muddy's house as Cy was led to believe...

The Meaning Of Fear · Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 12:19 pm Post subject:

Please, cut back on the me+Whitey jokes. They aren't funny. You+Lordy, on the other hand. :lol:

I say it's some OFians.

Cyberworm · Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 1:34 pm Post subject:

Oy. The table is cold, Lil'. -.- You could at least cover it with something. I don't like cold tables, they make me... ahem... nervous. ;)

OK, about the person... I won't say a thing. Actually I will. It's a she. Please, make it a she. :D

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629

Well, obviously it's Newbies United, the new front of all those who have come, been mocked in chat, and never been heard of again. They're after Cy because he's always in chat, and too many have falled at his cruel words. Never again! We shall rise up, and smite the cruel overlords! Cast off your...

Oh. Hang on. They might be after me.

Guest · Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 3:46 pm Post subject:

It's the chick who gave Cy the info and only got five fables

The Meaning Of Fear · Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 4:35 pm Post subject:

The White Blacksmith wrote: Well, obviously it's Newbies United, the new front of all those who have come, been mocked in chat, and never been heard of again. They're after Cy because he's always in chat, and too many have falled at his cruel words. Never again! We shall rise up, and smite the cruel overlords! Cast off your...

Oh. Hang on. They might be after me.

Fallen.

Other than that, it's not a bad idea. After all, The amount of missing noobs is all but uncountable. Where did they all go? Maybe Key sat down and squashed them all.

Or...

They are planning a revolution with OF against us! Flee while you still can! :-o

NeverNeverGirl · Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 5:46 pm Post subject:

i say its a she-male! *cant think of any suitable scrape grace at the moment* perhaps lily needs to go save cy and win his heart?

Chinaren · Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 6:03 pm Post subject:

It's the Powers That Be, ready to perform punishment upon Cy for grammatical errors!

Nice one Lils, caught up at last!

LordoftheNight · Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell

Chinaren wrote: It's the Powers That Be, ready to perform punishment upon Cy for grammatical errors!

It's Powers and the Twisted Stoat from Greed. back again for one last S&M session.

Mephistopheles · Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:18 pm Post subject:

How about it is one of the clones, escaped from the dark's tale, and ready to inflict some punishment on Cy as he is sneaking around trying to gain info on the plot to destroy the authors by the characters of all IF tales? (i really hope that made sense to you)

Lilith · Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 4:18 pm Post subject:

POLLING! GET YOUR VOTES IN! And hey! You like this? Add it to your favs list! Come on, two seconds ain't gonna hurt ya!

And Woo! Nommed and seconded for SGotM! VOTE FOR VENGEANCE!

sir wax · Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 2:28 am Post subject:

I love it. Love it. Love it! :-D I really dig it Lil', you have from what i have read, clearly and for the most part depicted these characters truthfully. I know you exaggerate a bit and throw in the inside joke in there also, but i love it!

I must say, on the third chapter i was laughing out loud. You captured the essence of each character wonderfully, and playfully wrote each one with gags that were great. Particularly, Chinaren breaking the illusion of Head Eater by scratching himself; and all of the IFians replying 'no' in their own way... ending it with The Dark was a stroke of genius. It instantly took me from "what's going on?" to " :lol: that's soooo funny!"

I felt as though i was getting to know all these IFians just by reading your SG. And from a newbie, that's really saying a lot.

I do wish however, that in Chapter 3, Chinaren's voice synthesizer was shown as opposed to told. It broke me out of the world and also was a missed opportunity for another great gag.

E.G. Instead of: “Rai, it’ll be better if you get in the bloody sack already, woman... and quit screaming I need these blasted ears of mine ” Chinaren’s voice came out completely computerized from the synthesizer built into the mask of the Head Eater suit.

More like this: "SssssssSSss. Rai, get into the bloody ssssssackk already, ssssssssss!" Chinaren looks around hearing his voice for the first time in the suit, he starts to chase Rai "He he he. Sssssatisssssfactory... Enssssure it remainssss sssssssooo... I will return for your headssssssss!" Lilith and Crunchy side glance each other. OR Lilith shakes her head as Crunchy holds her head in shame.
Then cut to the next scene.

Or something like that, i thought that would have been funny and given me more to indulge in the world that you've carefully set up. Maybe next time.

I think now, you should do as you did in soooo incredibly well in Chapter 3 and again in 4 and 5; that is stick with the characters. The events that you set in motion are great, but these IFians are the true stories and the clever part is how to bring out their characters out in the most amusing way that will also enhance the plot. i.e. Their gifts are their curses, especially when...[fill in the blank]

I hope that last paragraph made sense because it truly describes what made me want to read this all in one sitting.

Keep up the great work. Look forward to Chapter 6.

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

The Dark · Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 108 Location: Tome.

The Dark is amazed to find himself within this tale.

Alas, The Dark was too late to comment, but if The Dark had a suggestion, it would be that it is The Dark's own house of course.

Where else would you find a delightful chamber of torture?

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629

Everywhere, Darkie. Everywhere...

*chuckles*

Lilith · Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 5:16 am Post subject:

sir wax wrote: I love it. Love it. Love it! :-D I really dig it Lil', you have from what i have read, clearly and for the most part depicted these characters truthfully. I know you exaggerate a bit and throw in the inside joke in there also, but i love it!

I must say, on the third chapter i was laughing out loud. You captured the essence of each character wonderfully, and playfully wrote each one with gags that were great. Particularly, Chinaren breaking the illusion of Head Eater by scratching himself; and all of the IFians replying 'no' in their own way... ending it with The Dark was a stroke of genius. It instantly took me from "what's going on?" to " :lol: that's soooo funny!"

I felt as though i was getting to know all these IFians just by reading your SG. And from a newbie, that's really saying a lot.

I do wish however, that in Chapter 3, Chinaren's voice synthesizer was shown as opposed to told. It broke me out of the world and also was a missed opportunity for another great gag.

E.G. Instead of: “Rai, it’ll be better if you get in the bloody sack already, woman... and quit screaming I need these blasted ears of mine ” Chinaren’s voice came out completely computerized from the synthesizer built into the mask of the Head Eater suit.

More like this: "SssssssSSss. Rai, get into the bloody ssssssackk already, ssssssssss!" Chinaren looks around hearing his voice for the first time in the suit, he starts to chase Rai "He he he. Sssssatisssssfactory... Enssssure it remainssss sssssssooo... I will return for your headssssssss!" Lilith and Crunchy side glance each other. OR Lilith shakes her head as Crunchy holds her head in shame.
Then cut to the next scene.

Or something like that, i thought that would have been funny and given me more to indulge in the world that you've carefully set up. Maybe next time.

I think now, you should do as you did in soooo incredibly well in Chapter 3 and again in 4 and 5; that is stick with the characters. The events that you set in motion are great, but these IFians are the true stories and the clever part is how to bring out their characters out in the most amusing way that will also enhance the plot. i.e. Their gifts are their curses, especially when...[fill in the blank]

I hope that last paragraph made sense because it truly describes what made me want to read this all in one sitting.

Keep up the great work. Look forward to Chapter 6.

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

Sir Wax thank you soooooooooooooooo much for all this fantastic feedback! This is what SGing is about! And your crit about the synthesizer is great! I may use that in the final copy! I love it!

And I am thrilled that somebody is enjoying this because every time I start typing this one, I nearly fall out of my chair laughing because the stuff I write in here I wouldn't put it past any of us to actually do! I have an enjoyable time with this SG, writing, plotting, picking bits and pieces out of chat and using them out of context.. *coughs* ahem I mean .. oh screw it..

POLL OVER! YOU HAVE CHOSEN EVERYONE! NOW SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF WAITING WHILE I CONNIVE AND TWIST YOUR WORDS INTO THIS TALE FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT OF ALL! MUAAHAHAHAH!

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629

Lilith wrote: the stuff I write in here I wouldn't put it past any of us to actually do!

Really?