City of IF

[Lilith]

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER HAS STRONG LANGUAGE! NOT FOR THE ONES WITH PARENTS OVER THEIR SHOULDERS OR WHO HAVE NEVER, EVER HEARD A CURSE WORD IN THEIR LIFE!

A SIDE NOTE! THIS STORY IS BUILT ON THE SILLY RUMOURS AND THINGS THAT GO ON IN IF AND IN THE INN! IF, FOR ANY REASON, THE JOKE THAT IS MADE IN A CHAPTER ABOUT YOUR IFIAN PERSONA YOU CAN'T TAKE... THEN GET OVER IT AND DON'T READ THE STORY. THIS STARTED OFF AS FUN AND WILL REMAIN SO AS LONG AS I HAVE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOOD SPORTS WITH THEIR SENSES OF HUMOR!

Chapter 8: Crashing the Party


As the figure drew yet closer, Plates gulped audibly and looked around for a way to get out of there. Just as the chance to bolt was nearly gone, Plates screamed like a little girl and began running around in circles, at which the figure ducked and covered his ears along with Cy and NoNi.

“Somebody shut him up!” The figure pleaded, looking rather worse for the wear, a skeleton in a fools’ costume.

Cyberworm gritted his teeth and obliged, giving Plates a sound thunk on the back of the head with the handle of his rapier, successfully knocking him unconscious.

“Ah, thanks. Oh, and I’m DeadManWalking by the way. I’m an old hat here, I just haven’t been around much.” DMW smiled at Cy and NoNi in an nonthreatening manner as he extended a hand towards them.

“Good to see we have another ally on our side... and you don’t want to go in there” Cy began, gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb. “There’s a frog-lady in there that has just lost her mind due to illness, we think.”

“Yeah, I heard about that. A sweeping sickness all over the city that has taken a lot of main players out of action. Word underground is that most of them are mods. Someone is really good at what they do because they are targeting the people who keep the city functional.” DMW responded quickly. Then he pointed at Jez and IM. “I know these two. They can probably get us a cure whipped up if we can get them somewhere they can work without interruption.”

NoNi eyed DMW cautiously once he finished speaking. “You know an awful lot about the situation for someone who just hopped into this and hasn’t been around the city for a long time.. How do we know you haven’t,... switched sides, so to speak?”

“And you are?” DMW looked at the blonde-pigtailed ninja with interest.

“Novelest_Ninjagirl, what’s it to you?” She snapped back, glaring at him.

“I was just asking, jeez.” DMW backed away slightly, hands in the air palms outward in the universal sign for non-aggression. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to look behind him.

“Forget somebody?” A female voice asked.

DMW’s jaw dropped as he saw a floating woman, almost transparent. “You followed me, Phantomfan? I told you to stay put and I’d be right back.....”

“Oh please, and you actually expected me to listen to you? Keep dreaming.” Phan responded sharply. “Well since, Deady here isn’t planning on introducing me, I’m Phantomfan, and I’m kinda new so...” She grinned as she held out her ghostly hand for a handshake at NoNi.

NoNi smiled and shook Phan’s hand, leaning over to say to Cyberworm, “I like her better.”

Cyberworm grinned at NoNi, and then nodded at the other two. “Shall we get going then? I think the IT’s labs will do nicely as a workspace for these two.” He jerked his thumb at Idea Master, who was chewing on the sleeve of his robe, and JezSharp, who was humming “It’s a Small World After All”.

“Should work nicely, I think so.” DMW agreed and brought up the rear of the group, keeping a gentle, skeletal hand in the back of each as Cy led the way, with NoNi and Phan behind him, talking animatedly, as they each had a hand on one of the missing mods’ wrists, leading them after themselves.

*****************************


Lily stood still as she heard the footsteps approach the clearing of Fantasy Forest. I swear if those three flake out on me, I am going to kill them, AND Syra. Okay, maybe not kill them... just rant at them for awhile... if we’re all alive later, that is. She began to turn around when there was a swift movement and she found her arms pinned to her sides and a knife to her throat.

“Oh my, how have the tables have turned, little lady..” The same voice from the phone hissed in her ear, and the stench of old tobacco and liquor combined with someone who hadn’t washed in several weeks made Lily want to vomit right there.

Lily practically snarled at him.“Let go of my arms you disgusting creature. I brought you here to negotiate. If you violate terms of ...”

“There were no terms set, save that I meet you here in Fantasy Forest, in the absolute filthiest city anywhere, IF.” Neurosis drawled, nearly losing his grip on her when she struggled as he insulted IF.

“The filth is you, OFian,” Lily spat, as she tried to shake the seedy businessman off.

“My, my, stronger than you look, aren’t you, little fey?” Neurosis muttered, grunting slightly as he struggled to keep her still. He pressed the knife blade’s point into her neck sharply, making a slight nick.

Lily stopped and hissed with pain. “You cut me! You motherf- Mmph!”

Neurosis had dropped the blade and now put that hand over her mouth. “What a mouth you’ve got! Now hush!” He whispered, pulling her back in the shade of the trees as he watched the three newbies wander into the clearing. “Ahh, you had a trap set for me, did you? Never did trust you IFians. You always have something up your sleeves. It makes no matter. You weren’t the only one that came prepared...” He kicked the tree behind him gently, with rhythmic taps and pauses.

As Lily watched in horror, figures slithered out of the shadows, armed to the teeth and began to spread out in a circle around Sir Wax, Gallant, and Tav. Sonofabitch! Lily thought, trying to wrest free of his grip again. Those newbies are toast! This is getting way out of hand! There’s more to this than an illness... someone’s got it out for IF and wants the city taken down.. And they couldn’t have done it without someone on the inside....

Suddenly there was a loud thud and a large form dropped in the center of the clearing, distracting everyone for a split second. A large banner from one of the adverting planes was rolled up around a massive shape, and the shape was still moving.

“Grr... stupid banners... can’t they attach the freaking things more securely? And fly lower, out of my way?” A red wing popped out, followed by another, and then all at once, a juvenile red dragon shook himself out of the banner. He took in the Ofians all around him, Gallant, Sir Wax, and Tavanesh as he rubbed his snout on the ground to rid himself of bugs up his nose.

“Well now... isn’t this interesting?” Neurosis hissed in Lily’s ear as she struggled even harder after seeing Syra drop out of the sky.

DP: Escape plan? Syranore, Gallant, Tavanesh, and Sir Wax are surrounded by hostile OFians. Lily is indisposed at the moment to help them. How do our newbies get out of this?

[Novelest_Ninjagirl]

Cool! This rocks! I gotta say, I seem so much more like myself now that I've been mean in some way shape or form. and the 'I like her better' that so rocks! I didn't notice any spelling errors, ro grammar, so if they're there, you hide them very well in the swift and captureing storyline. As for the dp. . . . I gotta say that snore is considerabley large enough to knock a few out, and the newbies can run like the cowards they all are deep inside. :lol: nonetheless, I lov eit, and can't wait for more.

[Phantomfan]

Wow, Lilith. This is very good!
I like the view of DMW and me... possibly very true. I just wonder what you think goes on between us.

Only one thing really popped out at me; (hopefully I formatted this correctly- I still haven't gotten this commenting thing down)
Quote: “What a mouth you’ve got Now hush ”

I think you need a punctuation there, whether it be a period or an !.

Apart from that, it is fantastic!

Suggestions... none yet.

Can't wait to read more!!!

[DeadManWalking]

YAY!!!!!!

I'm here.

Obviously, I swoop in to save the day.

OR snore could just crush everyone.

That would work.

[The Meaning Of Fear]

Has anyone considered the possibility that the newbies don't escape at all, and thus IF is doomed? No?

Seems to be heading that way, since out of the newbies only Snore has any obvious method of attack, or even the ability to put up any sort of resistance at all...

Maybe Tav can go calling for Cross, or Wax could melt himself and trap the OFians with his waxiness.

[Tavanesh]

I suppose the thoughts of my teleportation abilities have also skipped over everyones mind. Maybe, however, they are a bit, dare I say it, god-modded, but that's my suggestion.

Secondly, another marvelous chapter. Had me giggling through out the day. People would look at me, and go "What the hell you laughing about?" Then if I was lucky they'd punch me in the arm.

Altogether, it's a very entertaining, and I love the IFian setting.

[NeverNeverGirl]

Hey lils - forgot to comment

I say that Gall and Wax reveal secret knightly skills... such as um well i will leave that up to you...

but they save the day

they are ka-nig-its you know

[DeadManWalking]

Maybe Wax shows some mayoral powers

[Syranore]

I'm all for me killin' some stuff.

[Warsor]

I say Tavanesh jumps on Syranore, biting into his tail at the sight of a dragon, Sir Wax should indeed show some mayorial potential perhaps in coming up with an idea of how to get the knife away from Lilith's throat long enough to let her flare her wings out and smack the OFian in the face with them and them let the true chaos reign. Gallant...can kick the OFian putty ninja fodder butts. And Syranore and Tavanesh are both distracted while it all happens untilt he end. Who saw that coming?

[Guest]

They all go at it blindly, die and then the end of them all. j/k

Syra gives them all a crash course on fighting, the IFian way...

[Lilith]

Poll is running, my lovelies! Lots of detailed options this time that I am loving! Pick your favorite and then wait for the fireworks!

PS: oh and if you like, add this to your favs just to show how much you love it.

[sir wax]

I was going to vote for Authors option, but it said not to vote there... typical SGing :P. I voted for Gallant and I showing off our knightlyness.

Gall would have some sort of burping toxic fume abilities and have a sort of drunken master quality, while i can skate around and draw mustaches on the OFians, captivating them with my skating finesse... and possibly do some fighting. Mayoral potential would be cool, as the current mayor in this story is still CrunchyCrunch.

Tav should definitely bite into Sears tail, making him whip it around and accidentally take out a horde of evil OFians while burning another horde when he says "ow".

Oh yes, that would be a good fight indeed.

Sincerely,
SirWaxaLot

[DeadManWalking]

more people need to vote for Wax to show his mayoral potential.

That or he needs to stab people with pencils.

Either one is good for me.

[The Meaning Of Fear]

Tied it, hehe. :lol:

[Lilith]

Looks like a close one ladies and gents but as of right now, our knights are in the lead! Hurry! I will be closing this soon!

[Syranore]

Come on people! Vote for me killing them all! There will be free cake if I win!