City of IF

[vgmaster]

The subject says it all. You are to write a monologue that is interesting/unique/funny/strange/odd/humorous. There is a 10 fable entrance fee, and the winner will receive a 50 fable prize. (If you want I could increase those numbers)

Anyway, without further explanation, here is my entry:

The Life of a Genetically Modified Tomato

I think I just gained the ability to think. Yeah, definitely able to think now. That's sort of annoying. I mean, now my time has to be occupied by something. Up until a second ago, I was able to be happy with nothing. Now I suddenly have to be thinking about something. Well, this is just terrible now isn't it? I wonder how I taste.... Well, a lot of people like tomatoes, so I must taste good. I mean, when is the last time you heard someone say, "I love tomatoes because they taste absolutely terrible." Well let me tell you, I have never heard anyone say that.

Another thing to consider, am I organic? People are always saying to only eat organic foods. Do you know something; I can't be organic, because organic tomatoes can't think. That must mean I'm genetically modified. Does that mean I'm some kind of mutant? Lots of people say that genetically modified tomatoes are unhealthy. I don't think that's true at all. I mean, I feel healthy. The soil I grew in had plenty of nitrogen, and the air was rich with carbon dioxide. Also, I would never intentionally make someone sick or anything. I guess I can only hope that one day McDonald's will use me on one of their sandwiches. Eww...

So now I'm stuck in a box, thinking, and doomed to be eaten by some fatty. This life sucks. Plus, this box is all cramped. There are so many other tomatoes in here, I wonder if they are thinking. I wonder what they are like; do they think the same things as me? If so, then they are probably thinking that we are getting taken out of the box, because that's what I'm thinking. I wonder where we are being taken, probably to McDonald's. I bet they are. I can't think of any other place that would want genetically modified tomatoes. This is my first car ride, I hate car rides. I don't really like McDonald's so far either. I hate my life, I really wish it would just- *chop*

[Alegria]

That's hilarious, VG!!!

I'll have to think on this one...

[TruePurple]

Hello,
I have run away. You shall never find me. I am too small. I could hide just about anywhere I am so small.

I love books. I have been in just about every book out there. Reading and writing is great. It has been forever since I have read a book

I am so very small. No distinguishing features at all. People never think of me. This is why I have run away. Some say I am important. But then why am I always the last one in anything?

Well they are hunting for me now. As I have said I am a good hider. But I have been in too many places. I am no explorer mind you. It's just my nature. I fear they will find me soon

Please wish me the best of luck. I must sign off before they locate me. Farewell.

[vgmaster]

Oh my gosh! I get it! That's awesome! I love your concept TP, good job.

[Phantomfan]

Clever, TP! That's really cool.

[Bookwizard]

Oh I get it!!! Took me a bit, but thats great... expect something from me here soon.

[vgmaster]

*cough* this is still going *cough*

[BStheGreat]

Oh! What is it that grows but a small distance south the waste! Could this unsightly treason be the hint of a man with ill intent? But it be on a she and not a he! How devious is he masquerading as a she. I dare say I didn't know. Those long golden curls show no hint of fabrication. Might it be in my interest to exam further? Surely I must take it (for presently I am content on calling this beast an it) to my lab for further analysis. Although it doesn't want go, I will proceed nonetheless.

I tied it to the kitchen table and rejoiced at my skilled knots. My anxious hands were nothing but ready, for science of course. The breasts are surely firm, and the knee high skirt reveals the halves of two lustrous legs. The rear end certainly lacks no size. And what of the face? Its sparkling lips are everything they should be on such a gender. A small nose and two wondrous green eyes outlined in black; I found it hard to stay unaroused. Its hair was certainly real, and the ears were... ears. What then was this catastrophe down below? Is there courage within me to go further? For science, if nothing else, I was bound to.

I was going to make this into a sg but I changed my mind.
Tears of sweat ran down the fore of my head. With the world's fate in my hand I grasp both skirt and under at the waist strap and pulled freely to the knees. My closed eyes betrayed my act of courage. Slowly I lifted my lids and... may the angels rejoice, for I am still holy! What lay in my front was not but what should be. Perhaps it was an impish trick, but the demon seemed to oust from her and possess me.

Now with science satisfied the earthly authority lay at present in the forefront of my mind. To free her was my desire, yet this I couldn't do. My portrait was surely etched in her mind, and what a recognizable mug it was! But if not that then what? My longing has yet to secede, and if I am to do what must be done than what is such a small trifle on my conscious. Indeed it would please me so, it has been far too long seen satisfaction. Yes, I think I will.

[Crunchyfrog]

Haha, and kudos to BS for tying his entry to his latest SG!

To add a little spice, the City of IF Treasury will match the winners prize of 50 fables to make it 100 fables!

[vgmaster]

The prize is higher now! Two more entries and I will put up a poll!