City of IF

Lady of the Shadows · Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 11:05 pm Post subject: How to convince...?

Okay, so here's the deal:

My mum has blocked City of IF because it has a "chatline facility". How do I convince my mum that IF is safe, and the Inn is okay to visit? What can I tell her that will reassure her that I will be perfectly safe on this site, and she can unblock it?

If you could help, I'd be grateful. I don't want to visit IF only quickly and secretly on the old computer that she didn't think to block. I'd rather go on it knowing that I can, which is not what I'm doing right now.

Not that she won't figure out whats up soon.

Thankyou!

Smee · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK

Probably the easiest thing to do is show your mum your writing, and explain how that is why you are here, and see if she'll agree to let you stay if you promise not to use the Inn. A compromise, but better than not coming here at all.

Alternatively you can also explain that the chatroom isn't completely anonymous. To get in you must have registered to the site, and provided a valid email address. It is moderated - either live or reviewing chat logs - and offenders have been banned in the past.

Finally - this isn't your typical chatroom. It's a small part attached to a relatively obscure writing site. It isn't something like MSN, Facebook - where the whole concept is for chat. It is just a small added extra for the community here in the city. As such it is rather off the beaten track for the kind of dangers parents are typically wary of in chat.

Good luck :)

Reiso · Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 1:34 am Post subject:

One other thing I could think to add to those good suggestions is to invite her to join, or if she isn't internet-savvy enough, let her look around the posts. You have nothing to hide here, nor anything you should be embarrassed of. Maybe once she sees that we are a proud community, who only mean to use this part of the internet as a creative outlet, she will think twice about it. Understanding parents wouldn't want to stifle the creativity of their children, or rob them of a social economy that provides positive feedback and supports the growth of those skills, so just being as honest about how strongly you feel about it can go a long way towards bridging that gap of misunderstanding.

Chinaren · Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 4:21 am Post subject:

I would sjut promis her you woon't talk to me. Seems like the thingk to do.

Smee · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK

Friday afterlunch for me - and that means one thing. It's friday NIGHT in China-land and Mr Ren is drunk ;)

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 3998

I agree with the above. Mr. Ren is most seriously drunk. :D

@ LotS, you are better off showing your mum what this site is all about than trying to visit it on the quiet. It's all about trust and responsibility.

:)

Alegria · Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 11:42 am Post subject:

In fact, I had a similar issue with my parents in this site also. I simply explained that this was a writing site, not a site to chat with people I didn't know. I explained that, in fact, personal communications are slightly frowned upon here and Real Life situations are even given a broad acronym (RL) so we can avoid discussing it.

Basically just tell it like it is. This is a community for writing. Also, it may help if you say that the critiques here help you improve your writing and thus your English grade. ;)

Lady of the Shadows · Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 1:12 pm Post subject:

Thanks everyone, I'll try the suggestions out.

Oh, and Crunchy, my sister blabbed me out yesterday 'cause I forgot to turn the computer off. :oops: whoops! I guess though I hate it, it's not in the quiet so much anymore.

One more thing, should I delete this post now?

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 3998

If you want this thread deleted, just let me know. :)

Emperor · Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 488 Location: San Diego, CA

Before you delete this thread you may want to even show it to your mom. Considering how not only have you asked for advice over your concerns but have various people giving you good advice on how to deal with the situation at had might just ease her worries. Lastly, we all know Key is a busy guy, but in my opinion he is not the type of guy who would just shrug off a concern like this if you asked him for help also. Maybe, a direct communication with him or our esteemed mayor might also convince her.

Best of luck

Lady of the Shadows · Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 12:00 am Post subject:

:cry: I can't delet it yet.

I talked to my mum, and she said she knows that it's a writing site, and she has already explored it. I even tried Smee's compromise, but that didn't work either, She just said, "we'll think about it after all your assignments are handed in."

Translation: " Hopefully you'll foget all about this soon and I won't have to talk about it again." Trust me, this is not a first.

So, basically, anymore suggestions are more than welcome. *sighs*

Sorry if I sound bitter, whiney, grumpy, etc to you, I don't mean to be that way. Nor do I mean to sound bratty, if you think that too.

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629

Which threads has she looked at? I can't imagine that looking at anything where Chinny posts would help, but she may not have seen the 'age' poll, or indeed this thread. Have you had all of the lectures (both in-school and out) about staying safe on the interwebs? If you have, you should be able to convince her that you know what to do and what not to do, and that there is no reason not to let you on an obscure site whose main purpose is to write stories.

Or... You could tell her that it does help with your assignments!

Seriously. When I'm really stuck on maths or chemistry or whatever and my parent's aren't home, I sometimes pop onto chat and ask there. There are several people who can testify to my inability to solve quadratics by factorisation or some equally hard problems.

Alegria · Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:36 am Post subject:

.....ooooh! That's a good idea. Homework help!

Now to the more pressing matter.

I would go with Emperor's idea and contact Key or Smee asking for them to e-mail your mom. I'm sorry but I can't think of much else besides sneaking about, writing chapters on a jump-drive, and copy and pasting them to the site. Unfortunately, I tried that once with another site in a similar situation and it did not work all that well, so I do not suggest it.

I'm at a loss, but I sincerely hope that you get this settled soon.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 3998

Lady of the Shadows wrote: She just said, "we'll think about it after all your assignments are handed in."

Then if she knows it's a writing site and has explored it, why don't you take her at her word and get the assignments done? If she was that worried about your safety on this site, it would have been a flat 'No'. Perhaps her concern is more about you prioritizing your time in this case. Taking her at her word is one way of showing her how much it means to you, showing her that you are responsible enough to know what is more important, and showing her that you are willing to meet her half way.

:)

DeadManWalking · Joined: 24 May 2006 Posts: 1005

^ lol. So obviously a mother it's only slightly funny.

Anyways, not sure what to say that hasn't been already said.

But we're such a small community that it's hard for any "predator" as it were (the main problem with parents and the internet (at least for my mother)) to hide among us.

Also, i would definitely do the assignments.

The second biggest thing (again, basing this off my own parents) is that they worry you aren't spreading your time around in the right way.

More than just showing her you can meet her halfway, you need to show that it is very much possible for you to get all your school work done even with the amount of time you want to spend here.

Also it pays to butter your parents up.

Guest · Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 12:13 am Post subject:

I'm sorry to inform you, but I've had the same problem, ever since then I've secretly coming back to IF. My parents think IF is the problem to my health... (don't mean to be rude towards this place.) I don't believe it's my problem this site. I've been lurking ever since then. That is why I don't talk aboutIF anymore. My parents say I fall into a deep dark hole. My mother sais I shouldn't write, and my dad sais I should complete a story. So If you proove to them that you've completed a story and show the nice people you've met, decluding rude comments. Then you'll have a very nice time visiting everytime you've finsihed your projects. I only have a hour to write on stories or be on the internet.

Chinaren · Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 5:40 am Post subject:

I'd listen to your Dad then Crady! ;)

To the original problem, it just sounds like your parents want you to do your schoolwork first LotS, so if you do that then they shouldn't really have a problem now, should they?

...and

Quote: I can't imagine that looking at anything where Chinny posts would help,

~splutters in righteous indignation~

The White Blacksmith · Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629

Chinaren wrote: I would sjut promis her you woon't talk to me. Seems like the thingk to do.

Do you tend to forget things you did while drunk, or is this the exception?

Smee · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK

I'm definately not a mother, or even a father, but in this case, Lady I think Crunchy has it right.

The extra information seems to suggest that your mum doesn't have a problem with the site, only the amount of time you spend on it not doing your homework ;)

I see only one solution - do the homework (and do it well). :P

Remember :

The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can come join us again.

But...

The better you do on your assignments, the less concerned your mum is likely to be next time you have assignments. So make sure it's your best work and not a rush job.

See you soon :)