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Sheerluck Holmes 2
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D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 6:29 pm    Post subject:  

Man, this is going awfully fast!

Don't be surprised if you find the next chapter here by tomorrow.... :wink:

Don't worry guys, just to make it funnier, I ordered the complete stories of our friend sherlock so I could study his methods better.... :D
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D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 9:35 pm    Post subject:  

I realize that I might have a lot of mistakes in spelling and grammar because although I am familiar with the words I am not familiar with the way they are spelled..ummm..well, five votes to go to JC Janeys.... pretty clear which side is going to win...besides...I already wrote more....so here...enjoy:

After much discussion on part of Holmes and I, the lady asked the time, and Holmes promptly told her. With sudden haste unusual for such a patient and understanding woman, she made her departure. Holmes bid her goodbye cordially, but as soon as we heard the lobby door close, Holmes began speaking.

"You have seen, Wichston, that our charming lady left sharply at 12:30 sharply? It is as if she had been worried about something, especially since the train doesn't leave until two o' clock."

"It is beyond my understanding how that idiot woman could be worried about anything, but Holmes, if you permit me to revert to a much more important matter. You said 'sharply' twice."

"Shnarply, sharply, scharpy...hehe, I'm just trying to get the word right, that's all, Whichston..." Said my boon companion, Holmes.

"Hmmm..."

"As I was saying, my dear Wichston, I suspect that this rather odd behavior bestoken by our lady, who for some unknown reason never gave her name so we always need to reffer to her as 'our lady', is hiding something from us."

"Now really Holmes, and what could she be hiding?"

"Why, her name, of course, I just pointed it out to you about two seconds ago! Wichston, you really need to start thinking for yourself."

"..."

"But look, what's this!"Said Holmes as he leaned down to examine two objects which lay directly under the chair where 'our lady' had sitten in. I sat on my knees to contemplate what these strange apparitions could signify. Instant recognition drew me to make an unproved infference.

"Why, it seems to be slobber!"

"Well, that could be a perfectly reasonable argument, especially since 'our lady' was drooling all this time until her departure...but I feel there is a deeper meaning to this..." Corrected Holmes.

"No," said I "It's just slobber..."

"Now Wichston, which one of us is the detective?"

"You, naturally," I could never forget the clear deductive superiority Holmes had over me.

"Although you don't act like one" I whispered to myself.

"What was that?" Said my genius companion.

"Just commenting that you are, after all, the laughing stock..er..the most becoming detective in Scotland Lard."

"Quite, Wichston, quite. Now let us gather up these two objects of investigation, one clearly being slobber, and the oter one unknown to the moment. Where's my magnifying glass."

"Didn't you give it away to Goodwill?"

"Me, giving away to Goodwill?"

"Why yes, I'm pretty sure that...hey, wait a minute Holmes, that jacket looks like the jacket I donated to Goodwill myself!"

"This jacket...uh, why, that's impossible, this is a design made by my own personal designer, uh, Hugo Boss..."

"Hugo Boss? Why, that's the most ridiculous designers name I've ever heard. I'm sure that is the same jacket, it even has the same stitch in the back!"

"Now, now, Wichston, enough of that. Let's concentrate on the task at hand."

I grumbled to myself, but inside myself, I understood that Holmes must be right after all. Studying his habits for years, apart from hearing a strange vibrating noise in his room at night, I knew Holmes had a strangely rigid schedule each day, including standing around in his apartment all day, studying cigarette butts, and smoking his daily pack of opium, which he would only change when he was investigating a case. Therefore, there would be no time in his engaging and absolutely necessary habits to go to Goodwill, a place where this man would be so strangely out of place. I watched as Holmes drew his magnifying glass from in between my bed sheets.

"Sorry, I left it there on tuesday when I was using it to see your..."

My face clouded in red.

"Ehheem. The investigation must go on." He said.

I watched as my friend carefully examined the slobber.

"Nope, it's just slobber, but I'm afraid that our lady covered the whole carpet with it."

I groaned in natural dissatisfaction. Holmes ignored my moanings and continued to examine the other strange and obtusely shaped object. It was weirdly made, and it was clear that if any other man other than my friend Holmes had examined it, they would have shown no sign of recognition torwards it. Finally, after almost half an hour of carefully examining every part of this singular item separately, Holmes came up with it's true name.

"It's a piece of paper."

"Only you would have guessed, thanks to your training and understanding of small uninteresting things." I said to my friend.

"Thank you Wichston. But upon my investigation, I found that the piece of paper contains some sort of writing upon it. I will need further investigation with my magnifying glass to..."

"Now, that's quite all right Holmes, you have already overworked yourself, let me try a hand at this." said I quickly.

"Wichston, I haven't seen you so serious since 'The case of Wichston's stolen gold watch which ended up being under his bed all along'."

"Well, yes, but this case is very...uh, interesting."

At my friends consent, I looked torwards the piece of paper, which seemed to have a darker tint to it than most paper in England. Strange symbols seemed to be sribbled upon it, but not discernible to anyone on first glance. I told Holmes about my obsevations, but he just nodded them off and concluded that he would need to crack the code himself later.

"This could be a very important peice of information, Wichston. I'll keep it for now."

I was dressing myself when I discovered that I was missing my top hat. Holmes quickly suggested that we go and buy a new one, although he seemed strangely nervous. We decided on going to JC Janey's, since it seemed the obvious course of action. We left at 12:45, and arrived at the small store in the crowded London street at 1:00.

As we entered the musky badly kept shop, we were struck by the fact that there seemed to be no one at all in the shop, only me and my companion, Holmes...and my other friend, Bob.

"Whicston, I told you, Bob is imaginary!" Holmes said as he read the paragraph above.

"Is not!" I defended my friend.

"Nevermind," said Holmes "Here comes the shopkeeper now."

A floating top hat suddenly floated in.

"Oh my God!" Shouted Bob.

"What?" Said a very short, stocky man, emerging from under the hat, and looking directly at me.

"Ignore my friend Wichston." said Holmes.

"But it was Bob..." said I

Holmes sighed.

"May I browse around?" He asked the shopkeeper.

"Yeah, sure. Don't matter if ya steal anything anyway, no one comes here anymore."

As Holmes went around, inspecting the hats, I began an engaging conversation with the shopkeeper, who had to stand on his hat to speak to me.

"Ya see, it's all about the name." he said "I was thinking of calling it JC Penney's, ya see, that would have drove loads of people here, but as ya see, there's no one here. It's the name I tell ya. I was going to change it, but I'm stuck now. I shoulda changed it to JC Penny's. The merchandise is fine, so ya see, it's all about the name. I was going to change it, but now I can't. Ya see, should have called it JC Penny's..."

"Ah-hah!" Said Holmes suddenly.

I rushed over to my friend.

"It seems we have stumbled upon something Wichston." Holmes said as I helped him up from the floor, where he had stumbled on something.

"Holmes, that was sheer luck!"

"Hence the name Wichston, hence the name."

"Indeed, but what is it?"

"I dare say...it's a parakeet feather!"

"How the hell did you trip on a parakeet feather?"

"That is of no consequence Wichton. Quick, shopkeeper, tell me, did a sort of ugly, dumb, slobbering, short, bulky, beatiful, sharp, charming, young woman come here that goes by the name of 'our lady'?" said Holmes

The shopkeeper had kept talking to me, although I wasn't at the counter anymore, and had ignored Holmes question altogether and was ranting again.

"...as ye see, I should have called it JC Penney's. Only people that came here today are ya and yer friend and a sort of ugly, dumb, slobbering, short, bulky, beatiful, sharp, charming, young woman that goes by the name of 'our lady'. As ye see..."

"Watson, this can only mean one thing! We may still have time to get to the train station before two o clock, and save a woman's life, or...we could stay here and keep buying our top hats..."

"Top hats!" said Bob.

It's up to you to decide.
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ethereal_fauna



Joined: 16 Feb 2005
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 2:51 am    Post subject:  

That short shop keeper is annoying. Ditch the sale and head to the train station.
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Ravenwing



Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia

Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 7:28 am    Post subject:  

Err...continue shopping! Oh sorry, meant to say go save a life.
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D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 8:01 am    Post subject:  

OK, no other ideas??? :D
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unther
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 8:05 am    Post subject:  

Very intertainning story Daniel. :)

Jesse
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 8:07 am    Post subject:  

who are you you loser? :D
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 8:07 am    Post subject:  

who are you you loser? :D
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unther
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 8:08 am    Post subject:  

Good job with double massaging buddy. :D

And what made you assume that i was a loser?
Is it bad to complament someone other than yourself?
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 8:12 am    Post subject:  

OK, whatever jesse, just forget it. You didn't even read the story anyway...
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Muaddib
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 8:15 am    Post subject:  

why'dyu keep suspecting ppl of not readin ur story. u accused me as well. :x im a really fast reader you know.
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 8:18 am    Post subject:  

No, unther is my friend, but I know that he didn't read it...he never does...
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Reiso
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:24 am    Post subject:  

Well, if he wants to be called a detective for more than chance stumblings on feathers, he better get to the train station. Or he can take a learning annex course on mysterious forbidden runic symbols to decipher the top secret paper.
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Guest
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 12:11 pm    Post subject:  

How good is the sale?
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unther
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:00 pm    Post subject:  

Thats not true daniel. i read it this time because you forced me to. :evil:
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Mother Goose
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Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:53 am    Post subject:  

Looks like the train station is it. This is good, D. I'm enjoying it.

- Mother Goose
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 7:24 pm    Post subject:  

Thanks guys. Ummm...I can't change the poll....

Hey, I got the sherlock Holmes book and read two cases, and there also some parodies of it in it...I'm getting some ideas....
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Reiso
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Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:57 pm    Post subject:  

I remember hearing a rumor that Sir Doyle was having an affair with a friend's wife and ended up poisoning him to get both her and a story that he would change into Hound of the Baskervilles. I don't know how true it is, but that story is definitely very different in a lot of ways from his other work.

Has anyone heard anything about that? And if not, what do you guys think?
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 10:01 am    Post subject:  

I think that it's absolute bullshit....

The parodies weren't funny at all, humor in those days was very very very very dry...at first I thought it was the real story until I went back and I saw it said: Parody.

Anyways, how do i change the poll?

I'm sort of combining different cases together...like the cryptic writing is from the 'dancing men case', etc...anyway, glad you guys like it.
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Mordok
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 11:04 am    Post subject:  

You should be able to change your poll by clicking on the edit button in the post that you first added the poll.

If that won't work, I'm at a loss.
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ethereal_fauna
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 1:52 pm    Post subject:  

I think only an admin or mod can change the poll once votes are cast, to prevent unfair voting. I PM'd keavs to change my poll.
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Smee
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 2:57 pm    Post subject:  

But authors are mods of their own story - certainly once it's in their own forum anyway.
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 7:11 pm    Post subject:  

Well I don't have my own forum here..and it doesn't work...Maybe I should PM Random
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Muaddib
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Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 1:01 am    Post subject:  

sommins gone wrong wid the site. even i cant change my polls. keavney musta put some restrictions unknowingly.
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Reiso
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Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 1:15 am    Post subject:  

D, do you know how to change the poll and it's just not working? Or do you not know? When you go to edit it, there should be a checkbox towards the bottom (it's the very last one, seperate from the others), and to the left it should say 'delete poll'. You have to click this and click submit before you can make a new one, or your new options are assigned the current poll scores.

But some people just can't find it no matter how much this is explained to them, so I am wondering if it's some kind of site glitch.
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ethereal_fauna
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Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 3:53 am    Post subject:  

Reiso wrote: But some people just can't find it no matter how much this is explained to them, so I am wondering if it's some kind of site glitch.
I couldn't find any delete option on my poll when I tried to change the first one to the lame poll I have up now. I looked in vain.
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Ravenwing
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Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 4:54 am    Post subject:  

I think a lot of people are having problems with polls. I am thinking Keavney has restrictions on polls or something. Or it could be site glitch, like those with author tags cannot change their profile unless Keavney deactivates them. You could always do a PhangPoll. That should work.
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 3:43 pm    Post subject:  

No Reiso, i don't see any delete poll thing, and what's a phang poll?
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Mordok
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Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 5:05 pm    Post subject:  

My research has shown that the polls are indeed screwed up. Phang poll is where you just count the polls and edit your post with the count as the votes come in.
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:03 pm    Post subject:  

OK, then phang poll it is for you guys....I will edit this post filling up your names under it.

ex:

Go to the grocery

D-Lotus

Get it?

Ok, here goes the real options!

A)Go to the trainstation without your gun

1.Ethereal

B)Go to the trainstation with your gun

C)Let Holmes do it

D)Investigate more in the hat shop, then rush in at the last minute to save the woman

1.Mordok

Random

E)Eat Lunch, then save the womanMother goose
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ethereal_fauna
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Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:59 pm    Post subject:  

Go to the trainstation without your gun
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Mordok
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Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 5:10 pm    Post subject:  

I still want a cool hat, but if we must do something else, I guess I'll pick... Investigate more in the hat shop, then rush in at the last minute to save the woman.

It seems fun and I may get a cheap hat this way.
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 7:14 pm    Post subject:  

Good, not very unanimous, but it works....

OK, after studying Conan Doyle's work for a while, I see how much powerful my next chapter will be. I didn't really understand the formula of sherlock Holmes when I wrote the first two, but now I do. So get ready for an particularly strange sherlock formula!
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Random
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Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 9:19 am    Post subject:  

This is really good stuff D! I'd vote with Mordok on this one, investigate the Hat Shop then rush iin at the last moment to save the woman. Mainly because this one seems to have more of a comedic direction.

:)
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Mother Goose
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 7:03 pm    Post subject:  

How about eat lunch, then save the woman?
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 7:45 pm    Post subject:  

ok, fine....4 votes...well, I'll still do the next chapter by monaday no matter what!
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 9:32 am    Post subject:  

Well, since everybody is soooo enthusiastic....*sarcasm* I'll finish the next chapter, but I'll drop it if no one cares.... probably no one's gonna read this message anyway....
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ethereal_fauna
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 10:37 am    Post subject:  

Oh stop the little hissy and just post the next chapter. Sheesh.
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D-Lotus
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 10:53 am    Post subject:  

I haven't even started yet!
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ethereal_fauna
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 10:54 am    Post subject:  

D-Lotus wrote: I haven't even started yet!
Then quit your whining. :roll:
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