City of IF

[Tikanni Corazon]

I was just sitting in my room, drawing random sketches, and I came up with a picture of the character in the prologue. That was about two hours ago, and I've been sat writing ever since. I'd just like to know what you guys think of it. Hope you like it! ;)

Prologue


Night had fallen in the valley. The moon shone, full and bright, in the sky, floating dreamily alongside a sprinkling of stars. It cast a faint light upon the earth below, haloing the trees, and bouncing off the surface of the lake, making it glitter and shine, like a many-faceted jewel.


The creature looked up, eyes focused upon the incandescent orb, his only comfort in a world of darkness. He longed to see the daylight, to witness the glory of the setting sun, but he could not. He could only imagine, and dream.


He moved his flippered fore quarters, and his fluke, propelling himself, lightly, forward, and into the moonlight. He continued to gaze upwards, adoringly, as the moonbeams fell upon him, catching his silhouette, and the glinting ripples on the lake, as he glided silently across its surface.


He dragged his eyes away from the moon, for a moment, to examine himself. He looked down at the flippers, and then behind him, along his sleek back, the silver of his fur, slicked down by the lake water. He lifted his fluke from beneath the lakes surface, and watched gleefully, as the moonlight danced upon the glittering scales, that mingled alongside the fur.


Finally, he turned back around, and looked down at his dim reflection. A pair of large, dark eyes gazed back at him, framed in the same gleaming silver fur. A long, canine nose protruded beyond them, and two long, pointed ears extended from his head. Faint, delicate, silver whiskers speckled along his eyebrows, and around his black nose.


He tilted his head, and considered the face, that stared back at him.

“I am beautiful,” he realised, with a feeling of wonder and delight. He dived, headlong, into his reflection, disappearing beneath the water. He twisted and turned, elegantly, never pausing, his gladness consuming him. Then he turned skyward, and beat his tail, speeding effortlessly, towards the surface once again. He burst out of the water, sending diamond-like droplets cascading everywhere. For a moment, he felt like he was flying, like the owls and the bats, that he had seen flitting above the lake.


As he fell back towards the water, he opened his mouth, took a deep breath, and blew it back out again. As his breath touched the lakes surface, it crackled and hissed, and, glistening with frost, it turned to ice. He yipped happily, as he landed, and slid across it. He stood up on all fours, the claws on his back paws, digging in to the ice, while he leaned on his flippers.


He ran, clumsily, forward, then slipped onto his belly again, and weaved from side to side, almost slithering across the ice. Then he reached the edge and plopped back into the water, with a final gleeful bark.


He dived under, revelling in the delicious rush, as he broke the cool surface.
He bobbed up again, and looked once more to the moon.

“I am beautiful!” he barked joyfully, feeling such gratitude towards the soft light that had allowed him to see himself for what he was.


He turned back and looked upon himself, once more. Then, his joy was overcome by a sudden sadness, as he realised something.

‘I am beautiful,’ he murmered to his reflection, ‘Yet I am alone.’ He frowned, thinking hard. There was none to see his beauty, none to admire him. He did not have anothers beauty to look upon and admire back.


Tears filled his eyes, trickling down his nose, and landing in the centre of his reflection, blurring the image with the ripples. He turned away bitterly, and glared at the moon, as if it were to blame for his pitiful situation.

“What point is there being beautiful?” he howled, mournfully, “Why be beautiful, if there is no one to see?”

But the moon simply continued to shine, and he got no answer.


He gave another anguished howl, before disappearing below the lakes surface again, and returning to his den, to wallow in his misery, in peace, and away from the mocking light.


The lake was silent, once again.


There is no dp, as this is just the prologue. Hopefully get the first chapter up soon, along with the first dp. Thanks for reading! :)

[Tatkret Sos]

WOW! He's soooooo cute! Its a really nice, happy story but then went a bit sad and I just wanted to cuddle him and wrap him up in a blanky! :tung:

PLEASE PLEASE find hima friend :) Very soon! :)

He is absolutly adorable and I'm guessing he's a wolf with flippers??? :D

YOU HAVE TO FIND HIM A FRIEND! :)

Right, now serious stuff. I think it is very well writen and very descriptive! :tu2:

:poke:

[Guyron]

Lol, the moment I read this I remembered a creature that vaguely resembles the one you described.

It's an aquatic creature from Rappelz MMO.



Also, he/it does resemble to a Frost Wolf.

[D-Lotus]

Well, Guyron, that's not the way I imagined it at all! :D

To me it was more of a seal-wolf with an uncanny ability-- totally unscientific, by the way ;)-- to turn water into ice.

On the whole, I'd say this contains romantic themes and images. You're a century too late, Tika.

I'm joking of course. Romanticism never gets old. :D

[Guyron]

D-Lotus wrote: Well, Guyron, that's not the way I imagined it at all! :D

To me it was more of a seal-wolf with an uncanny ability-- totally unscientific, by the way ;)-- to turn water into ice.

On the whole, I'd say this contains romantic themes and images. You're a century too late, Tika.

I'm joking of course. Romanticism never gets old. :D

I did say that it also resembles a Frost Wolf. :P

[Tikanni Corazon]

Thankyou, Tats, Guyron, and D for your comments! :)

And...um...interesting picture, Guyron, though I have to say nothing like the creature in the story. ;)

But I will be posting up a picture of my own soon enough, so watch this space.

Chapter One is gonna be up shortly.

[Tikanni Corazon]

Chapter 1


“Cadence, hurry! You’ll miss the bus!”
Cady sighed, as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, wishing that she could miss the bus, so that she would not have to go to school. She had been going for two weeks now, and nothing had changed. She was still ignored, still taunted, by groups of giggling girls in the hallways, whispering about her amongst themselves.


She tucked her thick, dark hair behind her ears, and picked up a tube of lipstick, applying a layer of nude-pink to her lips. She gave a final examination of the black kohl around her eyes, before rearranging the hair back around her pale face. She turned to the side, to check it out in the mirror. Shiny, voluptuous layers fell three inches below her shoulders. Satisfied with her appearance, she grabbed her distressed denim jacket, and her school bag, and headed out the door.


She passed the kitchen, where her mother was finishing the washing up, before heading off to work.


“Bye, honey,” she heard her call after her, but she didn’t return the greeting, or even look at her. She just opened the front door, and walked out, slamming it shut behind her.


Cady decided to forget about the bus anyway, not caring if she was late. Instead she walked along the edge of the harbour, looking out at the shifting waves of the sea, heading in the general direction of the school. She breathed in the salt tinged air, and thought about her dad.


Robert Andrews had died, six months previous, when he had been knifed in an alleyway, by some thugs trying to steal his wallet. The police had caught the guys, but knowing that didn’t bring her father back.


She leaned over the railings, and looked down into the water, her face drenched in silent tears. She missed him like crazy, thought about him all the time. The whole thing still seemed slightly surreal to her. She couldn’t get her head around the fact that she would never see her father’s face again, anywhere outside of a photograph or a dream. He would not be there when she graduated from high school. He wouldn’t be there to give her away when she got married. He would never meet his grandchildren.


The thoughts spun around and around in her head, almost making her dizzy. She clung to the rail, gripping it hard in her white hands, tipped with dark red nails. The tears had stopped now, the grief beyond them. She escaped into her own head, out of reality.


She didn’t know how long she stood there, her sense of time and space gone. She was finally brought back to conscious thought, by someone behind her, tapping her gently on the shoulder. She blinked, confused for a moment, trying to remember where she was. Then she turned.


The man who stood behind her was about forty years old, with wild, windblown, blond hair, and was dressed in fisherman’s overalls. He looked at her with anxious blue-grey eyes, the colour of the sea during a storm, and gave her a warm smile, as she turned to look at him.

“You okay, kid?” he asked her, gently. Cady thought for a moment, her brain still a little frazzled, then nodded. The man looked at her sceptically, clearly not believing her.

“You sure?” he persisted, “You didn’t look to happy, just stood there like that.”

He looked down at the emblem on her blazer.

“And shouldn’t you be at school?”

Cady nodded.

“What happened? You miss the bus?”

She nodded again. The man looked at his watch, then reached up, and scratched the back of his neck.

“Well,” he continued, “I’m nearly done here.” He gestured vaguely towards one of the boats moored below. “If you like, I could drop you off at the school. It’s on my way home.”

At once, Cady heard her mother’s voice inside her head, telling her never to get into a car with someone that she didn’t know. She hesitated, not knowing what to do. The guy seemed nice, and her mum...well...she had proven that she was not so nice when she... Cady almost grimaced, as she remembered what her mother had done. How she had hurt her, and dad.


She made up her mind.

“Okay,” she answered, speaking for the first time that day. The man smiled and nodded.

“Great,” he said cheerfully.

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a set of car keys, and tossed them over to her, pointing to a red truck, parked a short distance away.

“You go and wait in the truck. I’ll be there in five minutes. My name’s Ben, by the way.”


Cady wandered over to the truck, unlocked the door, and clambered inside. She closed the door behind her, with a thump, and then looked around.


The inside of the truck was scruffy, yet clean, a pine scented air freshener dangled from the rear view mirror, mingling with the smell of the ocean. The dashboard was littered with bits and bobs, fish hooks of various sizes, odd pieces of string, an open packet of jellybabies, along with a selection of nails, screws, nuts and bolts. Cady placed the keys amongst the mess, then snuck a pink jellybaby from the packet and popped it into her mouth.


True to his word, Ben was there within five minutes. He got into the truck, started up the engine, and pulled out onto the road and away.

“So, what’s your name?” he asked, glancing towards her.

She looked back at him, frowning. He laughed.

“Well, you know mine,” he went on, chuckling, “It’s only polite that you tell me yours.”

A smile twitched at the corners of Cady’s mouth, at the sight of his laughter creased face.

“Cadence,” she answered, quietly, “But everyone calls me Cady.”

“Well, I’m very pleased to meet you, Cady,” he said, smiling. “So, I guess you’re new around here?” He glaced at her garb, and grinned. "You kinda stick out like a sore thumb."

Cady nodded.

“Yeah, my mum and I moved here three weeks ago.”

“And how are you liking it so far?” When she didn’t answer, he turned and looked down at her solemn face. “That good huh? What’s the problem? Don’t like school?”

Cady shook her head.

“I hate it,” she murmered.

“That’s just because you’re new here,” Ben said, reassuringly, “You just need to settle in properly. Everything will be fine, you’ll see.”

“If you say so,” replied Cady, unconvinced.


They sat in silence for a while, hearing nothing but the steady rumble of the cars engine. Cady, slyly glanced at Ben out of the corner of her eye. He was quite handsome, ruggedly so. There was a thin layer of stubble, like he hadn’t shaved for a couple of days around his jaw. She noticed a faint scar, running from his cheekbone, down over his jawline, and onto his neck. She wondered how it had come to be there.


“So, Cady,” Bens voice broke through her thoughts. “Where do you live?”

“The house is called Sea Holly,” she replied, turning quickly away from her inspection. “It’s near the sea front. Back that way.” She waved, vaguely, back the way that they had come. Ben laughed.

“I guessed that,” he chuckled, “But there’s no need to explain. I know the house well. I’ve lived here my whole life, so I know most places. You must have bought the house from Ms Esther, yes?”

Cady shrugged.

“I don’t know,” she replied, “My mum sorted all of that sort of thing. I didn’t have a choice in the matter.”

She turned to gaze sulkily out of the window.

“Hey,” Ben said, soothingly, “It’s really not all that bad around here, you know, once you get used to it. There are no wild parties or anything, but it’s a nice little town, with alot of nice people.”

Cady thought about the other kids at school, and her thoughts differed from her companion.

“If you say so,” she said again, in the same sceptical voice.


The school appeared, at that moment, around a corner, so there was no time to argue the matter out further. Ben pulled up alongside the gate, and Cady opened the door, and got out of the car.

“Thanks for the ride,” she said.

“No problem,” Ben replied, “It was very nice to meet you Cady. Have a good day at school.”

Cady smiled shyly.

“Thanks. Nice to meet you too.”


She closed the door, and watched as he drove away. She glanced at her watch, and saw that she was nearly an hour late. She’d have detention, no doubt. She took a deep breath, and walked through the gates.

~~~

The creature slept soundly in his underground den, safe from the outside world. He lay with his tail curled around him, his face buried deep within the softness of his little nest. He had spent a long time the night before, deep in thought about his lonely situation, wondering why he had been placed here, alone in the world, hidden away from all.


He had fallen asleep, just as dawn had broken outside, not that he knew. He had never seen it, though he longed to more than anything.


Suddenly he was woken, by a low rumbling sound, coming from above. He pricked up his ears and listened. Mingled in with the rumbling, was a scraping noise, and occasionally a loud thud. And it seemed to be getting closer.


He sprang to his feet, his eyes fixed on the point above him. Something was digging its way into his den, and it wouldn’t be very long before it reached him. He looked down the long tunnel, towards the entrance. If he left the den, he stood a chance of being seen, and would not know what to do once he was out there. On the other hand, if he stayed, who knew what would happen. The scraping was very close now. He could feel it vibrating on the ground below his feet.


He made up his mind. He turned and ran, in his clumsy gait, down the tunnel, and into the daylight.

~~~

Cady sat down by the lake and sobbed, her mascara and the black kohl around her eyes, making long streaks down her pale cheeks. The day had been awful. She’d had enough. No matter what Ben had said, about ‘needing to settle in properly’, she couldn’t take it anymore. The being ignored, and odd giggle at her attire had been bad enough. But that day, it had become worse.


Taunts and snide remarks had come at her from all directions, and all due to the actions of her teacher, Mrs Lowery, when she had arrived late that morning.
“Bitch!” Cady hissed, as she pictured her teachers vindictive expression, as she had called her to the front of the class, to publicly humiliate her in front of the other students. Cady had just stood there and taken it, listening to the sniggers from her classmates, wishing that the ground would open and swallow her up.


After that, everything seemed to go downhill. Out in the hallways, groups of kids seemed to be stood, waiting for her, around every corner, each with some snide remark to make. She went about her business, trying to ignore them, but becoming more and more upset as the day had gone on.


But the worst had been yet to come. On her way to her biology class, a boy had stuck out a foot, tripping her, and sending her flying, her books scattering all across the hall. Mocking laughter had broke out in the hall. The pure humiliation angered Cady, and suddenly her temper got the better of her. She got to her feet, turned to the boy who had tripped her, and punched him forcefully in the nose.


The last thing she remembered seeing was blood pouring from the boys nose, and the faces of the other gobsmacked students, before she turned and ran, down the hallway, out of the school, out of the gates and away.


She ran for what seemed like hours. She didn’t know where she was going, and she didn’t care. She had to get away, from everything and everyone. Silent tears clouded her vision, but she continued blindly on.


Finally she stopped running, and slumped down on the ground, drawing her knees up against her chest, and burying her face in them, sobbing uncontrollably, and hating everything about her life. Thoughts flashed between her loathing of her life now, and the memories of her father. Her wonderful, sweet-tempered father. She lifted her face, and looked to the sky.

“Why did you leave me?” she demanded, as if the passing fluffy, white clouds were him. “Why did you have to die? Why didn’t you just give them your god-damn wallet?”

She broke down again, leaning her chin on her knees.

“I have nobody now. I’m alone.” Her mother flashed briefly into her head, but she dismissed the thought, almost as soon as it had come. It was her fault anyway. If she hadn’t....


Cady got to her feet, and took a look around. She was near the edge of the vast, and beautiful lake, surrounded by a pine forest. The soft flow of the water, mingled with the scent of the trees, soothed her, and she just stood for a moment, and enjoyed the serenity of the moment.


Then the sound of the modern world reached her ears, and on inspection, she noticed a bulldozer, and workmen at an area to her right, and further down the lakeshore. They were digging up a large section of the shore, and Cady shook her head in disgust.

“Why can’t they just leave things alone?” she asked herself, quietly.


Suddenly her eyes were drawn by a movement on the opposite side of the lake, from the workmen and the bulldozer. She watched, stunned, as a creature unlike anything she had ever seen before, pulled itself out of the lake, and bounded awkwardly into the forest. She closed her eyes, and shook her head, before looking again. But the creature had disappeared. But the image in her head had not.


The creature’s head had been that of a wolf, as had its body, and slightly shortened hind legs. But the front legs had been replaced with a pair of flippers, and extending out behind it had been a long, fluked tail, like that of a dolphin. It had not been an overly large creature, but it neither had it been small.


She strained her eyes, trying to catch another glimpse of the animal, fascinated by its unique and strange beauty. For it had been just that. Even from where she was stood, she had seen the gleaming silver pelt, and the glitter of scales, as the sunlight had shone down upon the creature.


Though she knew she probably shouldn’t, Cady longed to go and search for the strange animal, to see it again. But there was every chance that it could be dangerous. She bit her bottom lip, as she thought about it.

“What should I do?” she said, to herself.


So, the dp is just that, what should Cady do? Go and look for the creature? Or go home and get her head sorted out first? Or something else? You decide. I'm planning to write this one at a slower pace than SparkleSteps, though whether I will stick to the plan, I have yet to discover. ;) Thankyou very much for reading! :)

[Tatkret Sos]

This is a great first chapter sis!

I think she should definately definately go and look for the poor little wolfy thing! Hes lonely, shes lonely so why not? They could become friends :) Please please let them become friends! :cry2:

:poke:

[The White Blacksmith]

She needs to go and sort out her head. Not only am I finding her slightly annoying, wallowing in self pity, but even if she does think she saw what she saw she should question it slightly.

The obvious thing for her to do is to follow it, but I really want to see what happens if she doesn't, and how you'll write it. I'm just cruel.

[Tikanni Corazon]

Thanks Tats and Whitey for your comments! :)

And Whitey, it may be cruel, but it is exactly the same thing that I myself would have said had this been someone elses SG! ;)

[Crunchyfrog]

Whew. Glad to have caught this one before it goes to poll. Just haven't had the time this past fortnight to actually sit down and read anything properly. Excellent prologue.

I nearly switched off halfway through the first chapter though, because I felt like slapping Cady in the face. However, much as I agree with Whitey that she needs to get her head sorted out - with her current stubborn and self-pitying attitude it's not something she's going to snap out of anytime soon, unless there's someone nearby who can oblige with the aforementioned slap.

So - staying in character I think - she will continue to sit by the lake at least until nightfall and grumble to herself about her life, secretly hoping that Ben or somebody might miss her and come looking for her - and give her the attention she's so obviously seeking. Of course the longer she sits there the worse she'll feel.

Plotwise I think this the best option because the creature tends to come out at night, so she's more likely to see him instead. I think that will be an interesting encounter indeed, if it happens.

:)

[Shillelagh]

Well, at this point, I think she's willing to do anything, so long as she doesn't have to go back and face the mess she created at school, or the trouble she would meet at home by showing up before school ended.

For the sake of being different, I will suggest that she sneaks closer to the workers. I don't think she'd actually talk to them, but she could stay hidden nearby and, with an open ear and careful eye, figure out what exactly they're building out by the lake. I was under the impression that everything about the lake was pristine and untouched- save the random construction project.

[Tikanni Corazon]

Thankyou very much for the comment and the suggestion, Shillelagh, and welcome to the city. :)

And thanks to everyone who has commented so far! :)

[Tikanni Corazon]

Okay, poll is up, guys! :)

Thankyou all for your imput. ;)

[Tikanni Corazon]

Chapter 2


Cady’s attention was drawn back towards the right shore, by shouts from the workmen. She saw one of them indicating towards something, in an area, some twelve or so feet, from the shore. As she watched she saw a small group of men, in what looked like white jumpsuits, rush over , pushing past the workmen that were clustered around the area, all straining to see what had been discovered.


Cady frowned. From where she stood, she could not see what was going on. Something had caused a stir, and she wanted to know what. She momentarily forgot about the creature, and instead focused upon a way to get closer to the gathering on the right shore, without being noticed.


She scanned the area between her and them. Much of the shore was open, with very few places to hide. Then she noticed a group of large rocks. They were situated very close to the water, and looked like they might give her a decent view of the happenings. The spot was fairly close to the site, less than twenty feet away. She decided to find a way down to them, and plan her next move from there.


Despite the distance between her and them, she moved quietly through the trees, treading carefully, so as to not make any noise. The workforce spanned a long way across the right shore, and there was always the possibility that they were in the forest too. And there was a good chance that they would not be pleased if they found her there.


As she walked, the heavy scent of the pine trees filled her nostrils, and she breathed it in deeply, enjoying the fragrance, despite the worry of being discovered. In fact, the scent calmed her, and focused her more on the task at hand.


She finally reached the forest edge, and made her way down to the cluster of boulders, taking care that nobody was looking her way. She squatted down behind them, and peered over the top, to watch.


Much of the crowd had dispersed, but the men in the white jumpsuits remained, along with a few workers. They were crouched down, examining the contents of a large hole, some of them gathering up bits and pieces, and placing them into plastic containers.


One was wandering around the site, with a small gadget, similar in size and shape to a mobile phone, with a long lead extending from it, attached to a strange wand-like instrument. He moved from place to place, the wand held out before him, while he monitored the phone-like device. Obviously, the wand was scanning and sending data, of some sort, back to it, though what, Cady had no idea.

“What the hell is going on here?” Cady said to herself, quietly. She wished that she could get closer, but there was no chance. She sensed that she shouldn’t be there, and there were too many people who would question her about her presence. If she wished to snoop around, she would have to return later, when, hopefully, they would all be gone.


She went to move back into the shelter of the trees, then stopped herself, remembering why she was there. The school would certainly have called her mother, to tell her what had happened. If she went home, she would, almost definitely, be grounded, and therefore unable to return that evening.


She glanced back towards the site, pondering what to do. She desperately wanted to know what they were up to, but if she went home late, she would probably be grounded for an extra month or so. A shout from the guy with the scanner, drew her attention back. Another of the men in the jumpsuits, got up from where he was crouched, and made his way over to him.

“Have you found anything?” he asked. The other man pointed towards the opposite shore.

“That’s the direction that it headed, Sir,” he replied, “But it’s not there now. There’s no trace of it on the monitor.” He looked inquiringly at the other. “What are my orders, Mr Paver, sir?”

Paver frowned, and gazed over the water, at the empty bank on the other side.

“Take a small team over there, and see if you can trace it,” he answered, turning and heading back to the others. “Let me know immediately if you find anything, Jones.”

“Yes, sir,” Jones replied. Cady watched, as he approached two of the others, and then made off into the forest, heading away from her.


Her heart was pounding, as she looked towards the opposite shore. That was where the creature had left the water, and entered the forest.

‘Is that what they’re looking for?’ Cady wondered, remembering the creature’s awkward gait, as it had fled into the mass of pine trees. It was obviously not intended for land travel, yet it had been desperate enough to do so, like it was running from something.

‘Maybe I should tell them,’ she thought to herself, ‘It could be dangerous after all.’

She sighed, not taking her gaze away from the spot where she had last seen it.

“But it didn’t look dangerous,” she said softly, “It just looked afraid.”


An angry shout brought her attention back to the site. She turned to find one of the workers looking over at her, approaching at a run, others following suit.

“Oi! What you doing here?”

Cady leapt to her feet, and fled back the way she had come. She was quicker than her pursuers, and had soon made a good distance between herself and them.


She stopped, leaning against a tree, to catch her breath, and gather her thoughts. She knew that the best thing to do would be to go home, and forget about the whole thing. She was already in deep trouble, and sticking around would only get her into more.


But she couldn’t get the creature out of her head. It needed her help, she knew it did. But what could she do? On the other hand, she would know more about the situation if she continued with her original plan to snoop around the site. Maybe she would even find out what they wanted the creature for.


The sound of footsteps approaching, behind her, meant that she needed to make a decision quickly.

~~~


Paver watched, as the group ran after the girl. The scene didn’t hold his attention for long. She was just a girl after all, just a kid, sticking her nose where it shouldn’t be. Nothing to worry about.


He returned his attention back to the hole, and continued using his excavation brush, to gently move aside dirt and dust, looking for evidence of the creature’s inhabitation of the area.


A flash of gleaming silver caught his eye, and he put the brush to one side, and, with one gloved hand, plucked the object from its hiding place.


The scale glimmered with iridescent beauty, in the palm of his hand. A grin slowly spread across his face, and he looked towards the opposite shore, where Jones and his team were now searching.

“Well, Pheonix,” he said, his dangerously calm voice only hinting at the dark pleasure he felt within. “Looks like you will soon have company."

~~~


The creature ventured a look from his hiding place, in the thick undergrowth. He could see the tall, dark-haired female, where she stood, panting by one of the tall trees. He snuffed at the air. She did not smell like the others, who pursued him, though they were close. He did not sense that she meant him any harm. But he did not know for sure, and she stood between him and his escape route. He was afraid to go any further.


He saw them then, those who sought him. They were heading straight for the girl. Were they chasing her too? Maybe she would help him?

He pricked up his ears. There were others coming, he could hear them, and smell them. They were behind him, and closing in fast.



Okay, the dp is again for Cady. What does she do now? Go after the creature now? Go back to the site? Maybe go and get some help? Or something completely different? You decide. :) I hope you liked it, and thankyou so much for reading! ;)

[Shillelagh]

The "construction" workers are definitely up to something, but I don't see what she could hope to accomplish at this point. If she wants to snoop more, she'll have to do it later. Maybe at night sometime?

She's better off trying to find the creature at this point, I think. I sure wouldn't want to go home just yet.

[Crunchyfrog]

Good story. It looks like we made the right decision in the last poll, and this one is a good DP, with pro's and con's to consider.

One or two little niggles if I may... o-)

Watch that you don't over-repeat an idea or phrase. For example, you use the idea of somebody's attention being drawn (to, from, away from something) five times in this chapter, and by the end they became so noticeable they were beginning to jar.

Cady’s attention was drawn back
A shout from the guy with the scanner, drew her attention back.
An angry shout brought her attention back to the site
The scene didn’t hold his attention for long
He returned his attention back to the hole,

Look for ways you can vary some of these sentences. Concentrate on actions and thoughts, rather than where their attention is focussed. For example, 'A shout from the guy with the scanner made her jump, and she watched to see what he'd found.'



Secondly, when you end a chapter, alway try and end it with the DP. The two POV shifts after Cady's scene made the chapter feel disjointed. You built up to a great DP, and IMO that was where the chapter should have finished.

Cady can't know what Paver has discovered, and therefore it will have no bearing on the DP. I'd be inclined to save Paver's scene, and include it somewhere in the next chapter.

The final section, showing the POV of the creature again does nothing to help us decide - but... you could work this into the last couple of paragraphs of Cady's scene. If they're close enough to one another that the creature can see her, then she may be able to see him, or at least hear his clumsy body in the undergrowth.


My thought is that she should carry on running. The last thing she wants to do is go home, and she's made good distance so far. Even if she does get caught, at least they'll be concentrating on her and not the beast. :)

[Smee]

I agree with Crunchy's comments... we don't know the creature is so close, and the last thing we want to do right now is lead them to it, as the suspicion is there that they don't intend to be kind to it.

Keep running until you're sure you're safe from capture/being followed, then head off to look for it.

Home can wait for now.

Happy Writing :)

[Tikanni Corazon]

Thankyou Shillelagh, Crunchy and Smee, for your comments and suggestions! :)

Thanks Crunchy for 'bringing to my attention' my over-repetitiveness. All niggles taken on board, and I will try and remember to check for them next time. ;)

Thanks again, guys!

[SimpleDarkness]

Very creative story! I actually started to giggle when you were desribing the ceature awkwardly bounding into the forest in Chapter One, and I coupled that with the image of the fish-wolf in my head. The result was something similar to seeing a chibi, animated walrus attempting to jump but instead just flopping around. =p

In agreement with Crunchy and Smee, I think she should keep running. Why would a girl who is so obviously downtrodden by the rest of the world, who would lash out at tormenters in school, suddenly give up and surrender to strangers? I think she would have to be captured against her will to go with the men.

Besides, she is not aware of the creature close to her. But the creature knows she is there, so what if it helps her in some way as she continues?

Final Verdict: Keep running, shake off her pursuers, and return later to look for the creature.


XOXO

- SimpleDarkness

[Tikanni Corazon]

Thankyou for reading, and commenting, SimpleDarkness! :)

And with that, the poll is up!

I'll see if I can get a new chapter out by next week...

[Tikanni Corazon]

Poll is now closed...

Sorry about the delay in the forthcoming chapter. My painting seems to have overtaken everything else just recently. But I'm determined to channel my creativity into new chapters for both of my SGs now.

Hopefully I will have chapter three up by the end of the week. Thanks for reading and voting! ;)

[Crunchyfrog]

How did I miss the poll! Well, had I have voted the result would still have been unanimous. Looking forward to the next instalment of this one.

[Tikanni Corazon]

Fathom - Chapter Three


The creature lay himself flat to the ground, trying to camouflage his glistening silver fur and scales in the dense undergrowth. He continued to watch the dark-haired female, as the ones who sought him got nearer and nearer to her hiding place. He wondered what they would do if they found her. He knew that they meant him harm, but surely, they would not go so far as to hurt one of their own young?


He snuffed softly at the air, and sensed their hostility towards the female, and realised with a jolt, that they would.


His instincts were to protect this female, and, he knew, that she, in turn, would help him. Feelings of sadness and loneliness rediated strongly from her, but beneath them, was a good, just heart.


He knew what he had to do. To do so would leave no room to dispute his presence, but there was no other way that he could get away fast enough on land, not with these stupid things. He glared down at the large flippers, perfect to speed through the water, but useless and hindering when it came to running.


He gathered his courage and took a deep breath...

~~~

Cady tensed, ready to make a bolt for it, as the workmen approached her hiding place from behind. They still didn't know that she was there, she reasoned from their speech, but it would still not be easy to get away. But the element of surprise would help matters.


Suddenly there was a noise to her right, like fingernails being scraped across a blackboard. She turned towards it, and gaped in awe, as a path of ice appeared across the ground, and headed away from her, and off into the trees. Something, slightly smaller in size than a labrador retriever, jumped up onto it, and slid at high speed across the length of ice and disappeared.


Cady stood stock still, and stunned. She'd never seen anything like it. The workmen had also stopped in their tracks, apparently as shocked as she was.

"What the..." she heard on of them exclaim, "... was that...?"

"That was it!" cried another. "That's what the boss is looking for. Lets get after it."

"But what about the girl?" the first guy said. Cady heard a dismissive sound from the other man.

"Doesn't matter, leave her. If we get the creature, we can leave, and we won't have to worry about her blabbing to anyone about all of this. Come on, I said after it."

Cady heard them moving off in the direction of the ice sheet, which still remained, leaving a very distinctive trail for them to follow. They would find the creature soon enough.

"Unless I do something..." she murmered to herself. And with that, she took a deep breath, and flung herself away from the tree, dodging between others, and away, startling the workmen, who exclaimed in surprise. She heard one of them ordering the team to split, one set going after her, and the other after the creature. She sped up a little, to put more distance between them, before they figured out the path she had taken.


She suddenly became aware of a movement to her right. Upon looking, she could just make out something moving parallal to herself, some thirty or so feet away, though the tightly growing trees made it impossible to make out what. Then she realised it was slowly getting closer to her, sidewinding through the trunks of the trees to do so.


The strange noise from before reached her ears again, getting louder and louder, setting her teeth on edge. Then it grew steady, and, looking once again to her right, Cady saw, with astonishment, that the creature, still sliding upon it's ice vessel, was no more than six feet away and obviously following her.She let out a stunned laugh, but continued to run, with the creature keeping pace with her every step.


A yell from behind them, made her realise that the workmen were still following the ice trail, and that it would not be too long before they caught up with them. Cady had to think quickly. She remembered the shambling gaite of the creature, when it had exited the lake. If it stopped sliding, and tried to run, they would be caught for sure. There was only one other option that she could think of, and that would only work if the creature would co-operate.


She stopped running, and leaned panting against a tree for a moment, trying to catch her breath a little before she had to start running again. The creature stopped too, and stood upon it's ice sheet, perfectly still, watching and waiting for her next move.


Despite the impending danger, Cady couldn't help taking a moment to admire it's beauty. Sparkling silver fur covered it's head and body, continuing down the tail, like that of a dolphin, mingling with iridecent silvery scales, which also covered the front flippers. Deep, dark blue eyes, set inside the wolf-like face, gazed at her unblinking, inquisitive, gentle, and seemingly trusting.


"Hopefully I'm right about that last part," she muttered to herself, as the call of the workmen reached her ears again, and she knew it was time to move. She knelt down, and held out a hand to the creature.

"Come on, little one," she called gently, keeping her voice as calm and soothing as possible. The creature cocked it's head on one side, obviously listening to her. "Come, I want to help you. They'll find you if you stay there. Come to me. I won't hurt you..."

~~~

He didn't understand what she was saying to him, but the sound of her voice was soothing and kind. Her outstretched paw indicated that she wished for him to go to her. He hesitated, suddenly unsure as to whether he could trust her. Could she be one of them?


He heard their voices then, not too far away now. He realised that he was his only chance. If he didn't trust her, he would be caught anyway. At that thought, he leapt from the ice, and bounded towards her.

~~~

Cady gasped as the creature ran clumsily to her. Though she had hoped it would, she had never truly expected it to do so.


It stopped when it reached her, and stood looking up into her eyes, waiting for her next move. Cady looked into the deep blue pools, and she extended her hand towards it, and touched the creatures head. The fur was soft and thick, almost like what she imagined a cloud would feel like. She stroked along one of the long ears, and the creature made a strange purring noise. She couldn't help but smile at it's obvious pleasure.


Then she took a deep breath, and reached out with both arms, and picked it up. She expected it to struggle, but it didn't. It allowed her to do so, with nothing more than a questioning look in it's eyes.


"Right, lets go," she said, as the creature showed no sign of doing anything unco-operative. She began to run again, slowly at first, to get the creature used to it, but gradually picking up speed. She heard the disappointed cries of their pursuers, when they found that the ice trail had ended, and couldn't help letting out a giggle of triumph.

It suddenly occurred to her, that she didn't know where she was going to take the creature. She wasn't likely to find anywhere in the woods, where it would be safe. She would be willing to bet that by nightfall, it would be swarming with search teams, looking for it.

"I'm going to have to take you home with me," she said, looking down at it, " I can't think where else you would be safe." Even as she said the words, Cady wondered how she would get the creature back to her house, without someone seeing it. She looked up at the sky. Dusk was beginning to set in, but would that slight darkness be enough to pass it off as a strange looking dog... She hoped so.


She tired quickly, with the added weight of the creature. She slowed into a walk, once she decided that she couldn't hear the workmen behind them anymore, though she kept listening for them, all the same.


But no one came, and before long, they had reached the road. Dusk had set in fully by that time, making it almost impossible for a passer-by to see the creaure for what it really was. All the same, Cady was taking no chances, and, removing her jacket, she placed it over the creature, trying to hide it's tail and flippers, as best she could. Then she began the long walk home.


Every time a car passed, she tensed up, ready to make a run for it, in case it was one of their pursuers. But nobody stopped, or even slowed down. They were seemingly still trawling the woods, searching for the two of them.


By the time Cady reached the harbour, where she had stood crying that morning, she had been walking for nearly an hour, and it was pitch black. During the whole journey, the creature had lain calmly in her arms, it's head resting peacefully on her shoulder. She could hear it breathing, and feel the little bursts of air on her neck.


When she reached the end of the harbour, Cady sat down against the harbour wall to rest, and to postpone going home a little longer. She held the creature in her lap, and it just lay there, resting against her chest, and looking up at her with it's large, shining eyes. She gazed right back at it, losing herself in their depths. She lifted a hand, and stroked it's head, and smiled as it began to make it's funny little purring noise again.

"What are you?" she said quietly, tracing a finger down it's long muzzle. The creature sighed in answer, and she chuckled. "I thought you might say that." She looked towards the path, leading to home. " I guess we'd better get going. I'm going to be in trouble anyway, no matter what time I get back, so no use putting it off. And I've still go to find a way to get you inside, without mum seeing you." She got to her feet, and set off again.


She had reached the house within ten minutes, and then she set about, trying to figure out what to do with the creature. She would need to get it up to her room somehow, but she couldn't just walk in the front door. Her mother would have a fit, and likely call the authorities.


She circled the house looking for a way in. On reaching the rear of the house, she found that the window in the downstairs bathroom was open a little, not enough to get the creature inside, but plenty enough for her to fit her had in, and unlatch it. She did so, then gently lowered it onto the bathroom floor.

"Wait here, okay. I can't get in this way. It'll just look suspicious. Keep quiet, I won't be long, I promise." She placed a finger to her lips, and just prayed that the creature would know to behave. She closed the window, and quickly went back around to the front door, and let herself in.


Within seconds, her mother was there, hands on hips, glowering at her.

"Where the hell have you been? I was worried sick."

"I just went for a walk," Cady answered simply, "I didn't feel well, and I needed the fresh air."

"I know exactly why you 'needed the fresh air', young lady. I've had the school on the phone. Apparently, you punched
another student in the nose. Is that right?"

"Yes," replied Cady, knowing that there was no point in lying.

"May I ask why?"

"Because he was an asshole, and he tripped me up."

"And that justifies breaking his nose, does it?" Her mother folded her arms, and glared at Cady's relaxed
attitude towards the situation.

"I broke his nose?" Cady could not contain the smug pride that she felt at this new bit of information.

"Yes, you did. Which you would have found out sooner, if you'd stuck around. But no. You decided to
go off and sulk about it all day, worrying me half to death."

"Yes, okay mother," Cady said sarcastically, "So what's the punishment this time? Grounded for a week? A
month?"

"Just go to your room!" Mrs Andrews finally lost her temper, and decided to dismiss her daughter before she
could act on it fully. "I'll decide that tomorrow."

"Fine." Cady walked past her, and headed down the hall, passing the staircase.

"I said to your room!"

"I just need to use the bathroom first," replied Cady, calmly, opening the bathroom door, and going inside, swiftly. Mrs Andrews huffed, and went back into the living room to watch tv.

The creature was sat where she had put it. It looked up at her, as she entered, and got up to meet her. She knelt down, and scratched his scruff.

"Right, you have to be really, really quiet when we go out of here okay," she whispered to it. "We don't want to get the old witches attention, do we?" It cocked it's head to one side again, and she took that to mean it understood. She did feel a little guilty for a moment, for the ill-will towards her mother. She had done something bad, and she
deserved any punishment that she got. But things were not good between them, hadn't been for a long time, and she couldn't help resenting her for the lecture, deserved or not.


The moment passed, and Cady got back to the matter at hand. She put her ear to the bathroom door, listening to see if she could hear her mother. The only sound that reached her ears, was the faint buzz of noise from the television.


She picked the creature up, once again, and opened the door a crack. Mrs Andrews was nowhere to be seen. Cady opened the door fully, and crept out into the hall, moving towards the staircase. The creature lay quietly and patiently in her arms.

She started up the stairs, at the same creeping pace. She knew that the third and eighth steps creaked, so she placed her feet carefully, at the very edge of them, to minimise any noise. After what seemed like an age, but was really only about a minute, she reached the top, and ran to her room, abandoning the plan to stay quiet. She entered the room, closing and locking the door behind her.


She let out a sigh of relief, standing with her back against the door.

"We did it!" she whispered to the creature, who sat on the floor at her feet, looking up at her. Cady knelt down, and scratched behind the creature's right ear, resulting in the blissful purring noise. She stood up again, and approached her desk, which stood by the window, and switched on the lamp. The soft light illuminated the room, allowing her to see the creature fully, and examine it. She sat down on the floor, and ran a hand, slowly, along it's flank, feeling it breathing softly, and steadily. She brought the hand across to it's chest, and felt the creature's heatbeat fluttering rhythmatically against her palm. She looked at her fingers, sinking deeply into the silver pelt, so thick that she could hardly see them anymore.


The creature's large, dark eyes never left her face, seemingly taking in every detail of it. Intelligence lay behind those eyes, Cady realised.

"What are you?" she murmered, "I wish you could tell me." She waited, in case the creature responded to the words, but it continued to sit in serene silence. Cady gave it one final ear scratch, and got to her feet. "What are we going to do with you, for now, I suppose is a more pressing problem. We'll have to find you somewhere to sleep."


She went over to her chest of drawers, opened one, and rifled through the contents. She pulled out a baby-blue wool blanket, and a cream fleece one. Then she grabbed one of the pillows off her bed, and took all three things over to a corner of the room, and arranged them into a little nest for the creature. It approached, and sniffed at the blankets, then looked at her questioningly.

"Go on," she said to it, gesturing the bundle. "It's for you." It paused another moment, then climbed amongst the blue and cream folds, and snuggled down, it's tail wrapped around it. Cady smiled at it affectionately. Even in the short time she had known the creature, a bond seemed to have grown between them. She didn't know how, but she sensed that it, like her, was lonely, and needed a friend, as much as it needed help to escape those awful people. She dragged her eyes away from it, and went into her ensuite bathroom to take her make-up off and get ready for bed.


When she returned to the bedroom, the creature was lay where it had been when she left, but it's eyes were closed, and it's breathing had deepened. It slept.


Cady went over to the bed and clambered in. Then she turned off the lamp, and settled down to sleep.

~~~

A voice called to her, pleading her for help. Intense pain radiated all around her, eminating from the owner of the voice. All around her was black, but every now and then, a flash of light appeared, poppy-red, in conjunction with each burst of pain and anguish.

"Who are you? Where are you?" cried Cady, turning wildly, "Tell me how I can help you!" Tears streamed down her cheeks, as the intensity of the pain, broke through, into her own body. She screamed alongside the other, their voices mingling as one.

"Help me!" The voice was echoing, and ethereal, like a passing breeze, but yet the pure desperation was strong.

"Tell me how," cried Cady, "I don't know what to do!"

Suddenly, silence descended. All was still.

"Hello?" she called into the nothingness. "Hello, are you still there?" At first there was no answer. Then there was light, so bright it was almost blinding. Cady shielded her eyes against it, but still she sought the source. Beyond the light was a figure. Tall and elegant, but almost indistingushable from the light itself. Except for one thing, the eyes. Brightest blue, they burned through the light, and their gaze penetrated her own, seeing into her very soul. Then the figure spoke one more time.

"Come to me...he will know the way..."

~~~

The creature woke from his dream, to the sound of the female screaming. He looked towards the sound, his eyes seeing her easily in the darkness. She lay in her nest, tossing and turning, and moaning in pain. He got up from the nest that she had made for him, and approached her. She was hurting in her dreams, as he had been, as he did most nights, feeling the pain of the golden one.


He knew that the golden one called to her too. Her voice passed into his dreams, begging for release from her hell, and they had now passed from his dreams, into the dreams of the dark-haired female. Another cry of anguish, broke from he lips.

'I must wake her,' he thought, and he leapt up, landing clumsily on the edge of the female's nest. He clambered onto her chest, and, looking down into her face, he called to her, through his thoughts.

"Come back!"

~~~

Cady awoke, bathed in sweat and her heart beating madly, with the fear that she had felt seconds before. The creature lay upon her chest, looking down at her, it's eyes worried. They relaxed, when it saw her eyes open. Then, to her surprise, she heard it's voice inside her head.

"You heard me, and you came back!"

Cady gaped at the creature.

"You just..." she gasped, "... you... spoke to me!"

"I cannot understand your tongue," said the voice inside her head again, smooth as satin, and obviously male. She guessed the creature must be a boy. She rubbed her eyes with her fists.

"I must still be dreaming," she groaned. "Wake up!"

"I told you, I do not understand your tongue. Speak through your thoughts. I can hear them, but they're not focused, so they are hard to distingush from one another."

Cady removed her hands from her eyes, and looked up at him.

"Focus," his voice echoed through her mind again. Though she was still not convinced that she was fully awake, Cady did as he asked. She wrinkled her forehead in concentration, focusing on what she wished to say.

"You really are speaking to me aren't you?"

The creatures eyes lit up, as it heard her.

"Good! Very good! You still need a little practice, but that was wonderful for a first try!" Cady laughed, in disbelief. The creature licked her nose. "And yes, I am speaking to you. I don't know why I didn't try it sooner."

Cady focused, and spoke again.

"What was that other voice? The one from the golden light?"

"I don't know. I hear her all the time, the golden one. But I don't know who she is, or how to help her. She is trapped somewhere, in great pain, and sadness. But I do not know where."

Cady reached up and stroked his muzzle.

"What are you?"

"I am the one and only of my kind, I think. I don't think that there's a name for what I am." His voice in her head sounded sad, and a little lost.

"What's your name?"

"I don't know what it would be in your tongue," he replied, settling himself next to her.

"How can you have a name, but not know what you are? Who gave you your name?"

Laughter sounded in her mind.

"I gave it to myself," he replied, chuckling. Cady laughed with him.

"I'll have to think of a name that I can call you," she said, "But tomorrow. I'm tired now." She paused a moment, thinking hard. "Why were those men after you?"

"I don't know, but they mean me harm. I'm afraid of them. If you had not been there, they would have captured me, and I don't know what they would have done." He lifted his head and nuzzled against her face. "Thankyou."

She put her arms around his neck, and held him close.

"I'm glad I found you." She releasd him, and he raised his head again, and looked down at her happily.

"So, what's your name?"

"Cady."

"I'm glad I found you too, Cady."

He lay back down, and silence descended, both of them close to sleep. But then a thought suddenly came to Cady.

"Do you think that those men might be the ones who are hurting the golden one?"

"I don't know... Possibly. But how would we find out? We can't go back to the lake."

"'We' couldn't. But I could go back alone."

"No Cady. These men are bad. They will hurt you if they catch you snooping around again."

"Well, what else can we do?"


I hope that this chapter was okay guys. I've been having a bit of trouble with it over the last few days, and this is the best I could do. I don't know how a good a DP this is, by I truly am stuck now. So I need your help. ;) What does Cady do now? She needs to find out more about this other creature, where it is, what it is ect. But how does she do that? And she is also in a heap-load of trouble from her earlier antics at school, and has an impending grounding to come, which will only be made worse if she skips another day of school. Thanks for reading guys! Sorry it was a little long, and I await your ideas. :)

[Crunchyfrog]

One thing that I was confused about in this chapter was the actual size and weight of this creature. I had assumed it was much bigger and heftier, and was surprised that a young girl could pick it up and hug it in her arms.


Hmmm. Most peculiar. The dream - (I expect she has not experienced this before) and especially the last bit 'he will show the way' - seems to be referring directly to the creature, here. I believe that somehow the close proximity of the creature and the dream are linked in some way.

That Cady has never had any telepathic communication before would also suggest that the creature probably has some kind of power that enables telepathy to occur in other beings that are nearby.

Now that they can communicate, the creature will be able to let her know what his vital needs are - with regards to food and habitat. But Cady will need to move fast before she gets grounded.

Trouble is, does she want to risk hiding her adventure behind her normal life (which could become quite restricted soon) or is she brave enough just to take off with the creature and become a fugitive for a while?

I think - given her somewhat pathetic behaviour at the beginning of the story she'd be better off opting for the latter, since she doesn't seem to be able to cope with school or home life at the moment. An all out adventure is obviously what she needs.

Besides, the creature would do better with Cady's help, as she is better adapted to walking on dry ground than he is.

It's night time. Make plans, grab food from the refrigerator, get some outdoor clothes fit for hiking and maybe a few changes of underwear. Find an easier, hands-free way of carrying this creature around too. A back-pack might be the thing.

Time for action!

[Shillelagh]

If he is telepathic, wouldn't he have been able to hear Cady's thoughts before the dream? I suppose he could simple choose not to listen. Curious. I'd thought him to be some sort of mer-dog, but the powers he's showing are much for versatile. There's a lot we don't know about the dog- not necessarily because it's lying or hiding information, but simply that we don't know what to ask it. I'm with Crunchy... though for the sake of another option, I think asking the dog about what it does know about the golden being would be a good idea. And perhaps also why it chose to stay on the lake shore, if he's ever lived elsewhere... maybe even when the strange workers appeared. Heck, even just knowing what powers the dog does and does not have would be nice.

[Ingrothechundyer]

Very interesting.

I suspect that a nice long conversation with the creature to find out what it does know could prove to be very useful.

I don't think she needs to worry about being grounded so much as the "construction workers" trying to find her to find out what she knows.

If they have the money to start tearing into an otherwise pristine lake the probably have the money to start finding out why the creature just vanished.

I doubt that it will take them long to figure out that *something* make the creature change it's mind from trying to glide to having the trail vanish.

Add in that they know that someone was snooping and if she stays in school she won't be hard to find.

Once they find her she will probably have a much tougher time helping her new friend.

Of course the reverse is also true :?

If she flees now her Mom will probably go to the police and the "construction workers" will be even more likely to find out who she is.

She has had a very long day and I suspect that if she tries to run now her thinking will be marginal at best.

Does her Mom work? How does her mom react when she is sick?

If so maybe she should risk getting a good nights sleep then faking sickness the next day to get time to ask her questions before running away?

EDIT: Also unfortunately it seems like it is only a matter of time before the bring in the bloodhounds and from the sound of it they will lead straight to her bathroom window...

[Tikanni Corazon]

After a VERY long break, and considering that SparkleSteps is so close to completion, I'm thinking about taking up this tale again once I'm done. So really just posting to see if anyone would be interested if I did? Though I may also have another go at this instead, though there are some parts that need a bit of a rewrite. But let me know what you think, either way. It would be much appreciated! :)