Storygames Home City of IF
Free online storygaming
 

Sector 17: Chapter 6 (Poll)
Click here to go to the original topic

 
       Storygames Home -> Sector 17
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Reiso



Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Posts: 917
Location: Western North America

Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 10:20 am    Post subject: Sector 17: Chapter 6 (Poll)  

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5
Chapter 6

WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE

In a dark inky blackness that is best described as void, there is a spotlit island of red. Fired brick like that of boarding schools, bungalows and firehouses stand in a wall that does not esoterically stretch on into infinity on either side, nor does it reach limitlessly to the sky, hungry for an unseen horizon.

Rather, this very unassuming wall is no larger than it needs to be, which is precisely one and one half meters long and four feet tall. It appears to be only one brick deep in its construction, but this measurement is of no real use and remains unproven; one does not stand next to the wall, as doing so without knowledge of where one would go would be quite foolish indeed.

The top of the wall is evenly leveled off, as lying bricks side by side is no great accomplishment, but uneven lengths of brick jut out from the sides as if the wall once was part of a larger structure from which it has since been liberated. While these are all true and important things, the most prominent feature of the wall is, without doubt, the great massive brass lever that sits squarely at it's center.

This lever does not protrude perpendicularly from the surface of the wall. More accurately, it sits housed by a rounded mechanism affixed to the wall by a method not visible from this side of the wall. The use of this lever requires both arms, as it is also four feet long and capped by a curved release valve that demands several pounds of force to engage before one can dial the lever to one of it's positions, of which there are three.

At least, that is one of the ways the wall is described. Other variations reduce the wall to eroding mortar, or have it that the switch is a simple mad scientist's ungrounded toggle switch. Others yet go so far as to replace the wall with a large mossy stone, or that instead of standing alone, the lever resides along the inner most walls of a well protected palace or hidden safely away in an unreachable tomb. And stranger still descriptions push the limits of the imagination when using such physical and narrowly defined terms as LEVER and WALL.

No matter how many ways it is described (all of which are both true and untrue, for it is known to many), there is one thing immutably true--rather one thing that HAD always been so; there are three positions. Conventionally, it has been  held that it must rest at one of them. But now, forces of great disorder and chaos have conspired to change this one constant, and the very way of the world is now in flux... 

---

"All right guys, here's the plan," Kent said. God, he hated this. He didn't trust this Keaton guy, and Jerry and Sarah were at his mercy, alone on his ship going into god knows what. The whole situation was screwed up. And he had no way to get to them, not without putting them in more danger.

"I hate to do this, but your best bet is to take the Barrow out and head on to the nearest colony, which should be Jamison."

Someone was about to ask him for change, but Kent waved the man away distractedly. Instead of disappearing back into the crowded press of people here in the merchant district, he stood to one side and waited patiently for his handout. Kent turned around and started walking the other way--he needed to head that way anyway, since plans were changing.

"Jamison," Jerry's voice came back over the radio "roger that Boss. What are you gonna do?"

"Meet you there--you let me worry about how."

" ...Ok Boss. Look, there's a lot of stuff that's happened."

"Excuse me," the transient shouted after him "excuse me, sir! Sir!" Kent stepped up his pace, hoping that would send a clearer message to the man to ask someone else.

"Fill me in later, Jerry. You need to get moving."

"Be careful, Will." Sarah. God, what must be going through her head with all this mess going on around her? Neither one of them were any happier about this arrangement than he was, he could hear it in their voices. But he was depending on them to hold the fort down until they could meet up and sort things out, and they would. If anyone would, they would.

"I will Sarah. Keep an eye on things for me. Jerry, watch out for scope 3, it's dodgy. Got it?"

"Yeah Boss, will do. Contact us the moment you make port."

"I will."

The radio went dead and Kent was left alone with his thoughts and the thousands of other people hunting for the right price. He looked over his shoulder to confirm the man who had bothered him was gone and gladly was right in that assumption.

The Barrow wasn't going to Jamison port; Jerry was smarter than that, he knew coded speech when he heard it. Should be Jamison is what Kent had said, and Jerry damned well knew the colonies better than he did, so he'd recognize that Kent was trying to tell him something. Namely that if it should be Jamison, that it wouldn't be. So that left Franklin as the next nearest colony, and that's where the Barrow was going, so that's where he needed to go.

Scope 3 had been another coded message, being that there was no scope 3 on the Barrow. Kent had used that sort of blunt deception before, and the only elephant in the room there was this Keaton person. On their oft used scale of 1-10, him needing to be closely watched rated about a 3; hence scope 3. It was good having people he could count on working the other side at times like this.

But Kent wasn't about to break his arm patting his own back just yet. There was a lot to fix now and just as sure as anything else, his own screw ups were what had gotten them all here. The meeting with Gorscht was still fresh in his mind, and he winced as he replayed his mistakes from that encounter. There was no excuse for being so off his game, absolutely none.  It wasn't the first time he approached negotiations with some joviality, but he had never been so reckless before. Never so unfocused.

Sterile sodium light battled it out with colorful neon as he made his way down the strip. All around him buzzed the chatter of shoppers and store owners, the shouting voices of spoiled children, the arcade noises being regurgitated through the PA system. People laughed and spent money. Steam rose from the occasional vent. Newcomers gawked at the backlit directories displayed on the walls. Most people found this part of the colony stimulating, even fun. Kent hated it like he hated most of the colony, like all colonies because of how artificial they were. Because they were fake. He didn't know what real was or how he could possibly know it was missing from his life, but he knew it wasn't here.

He'd been lazy--that was his biggest mistake with Gorscht. He relied too much on his own instincts to get him through a nearly blind negotiation, thinking he held all the pieces, that he was the one who had what they wanted, that things would ultimately go his way. How the hell could he know they would suddenly change their mind and just not want the rock specimen anymore?

That doesn't matter Boy-o, you should have been ready for anything. You should have taken the money while you could.

"I should have taken the money while I could," he agreed with a sigh. "Thank you self," he added somewhat bitterly "you always did know best."

"Pardon?" A woman. Standing next to him. He was at the tram now, waiting for the next one to arrive to carry him into the business district.

"Sorry ma'am, just... talking to myself," Kent said, trying to keep his voice light, like it was perfectly normal to do such a thing, and don't we all laugh about it from time to time? The woman nodded sagely, playing along as if there had been nothing at all awkward about their exchange.

He was too distracted by the big picture. One step at a time man, one step at a time. So how was he going to get to Franklin Colony? Well, he already had that one solved, hadn't he? His feet had carried him here after all, he just didn't want to admit to himself that he was doing what he was doing, that he was crawling back to someone to beg a favor. How many times had he done that in his life, and what had it really gotten him but a growing list of abused friendships? But he wasn't totally without friends, not yet. And if he ever needed help, it was now.

The next tram arrived. The doors opened and people flooded out on their way to buy, buy, buy. He stepped up and hardly noticed the retinal scanner logging his entry and deducting his fare from his accounts. He was done thinking about the big picture, and for now, he wasn't concerned too greatly with small steps either. Instead, a well of dread emptied into the pit of his stomach as the doors closed and the tram carried him on rails in the direction of the woman he threw away.


---



"William H. Kent, as I live and breathe." Darcy's general lack of enthusiasm and her matter-of-fact delivery were stinging contrasts to her words. Kent knew she wouldn't exactly be happy to see him, but he had hoped for better. "So what is it you need from me now," she asked, her dark brown eyes narrowed to suspicious slits below a furrowed black brow.

Kent spread his arms open as if it could prove he was innocent, which of course he wasn't. "Why should I need something just because I pay a visit?"

Stoney silence was her only reply to his question, her temper quietly fuming as they both came to terms with him not being truthful and her knowing it. How could such a red hot fury exist beneath such fair skin? It wasn't the first time he had wondered that.

"Okay, I need something. But it's different this time. This is important."

"Different! Important! Kent--god, tell me again how many times you've used those words right here in my office? Or, you know what, forget my office, how about my life? How about all the times I've heard that over the years? You've boxed yourself into some corner--again--and now, like always, you want to avoid any responsibility for whatever god awful mistake you made, and surprise surprise, here you are talking to me. I should have security throw you out!"

She was right to be angry, of course, Kent knew that. Oh she wasn't exactly giving him a fair shake, that was for sure. Darcy always saw things her way and diligently refused to give his point of view credit over the years, but some facts were just facts and couldn't be changed. Facts like getting drunk and going into wild rages. Facts like marriage and divorce.

His ex-wife pulled her black locks back (normally she left them cascading down around her elegant shoulders, but she always brought her hair back when she became angry; ready for battle), and pinned them down fast.

"Have you been watching the news feed? The D.O. mess?"

"You're involved in that. Why aren't I surprised?"

"Well, not exactly." Kent raked his fingers through his own shorter head of straw. "But Jerry is. Sarah is." If Darcy held anything back about how she felt about that particular name, Kent missed the effort. She never cared much for Sarah, and Kent figured it was because she saw her as competition, never mind that nothing had ever happened between the two. "Both of them are in a bind, and it's my fault. I can't just leave them on their own."

"Oh, you're admitting fault, isn't that refreshing? What am I supposed to be moved or something? If you need to help them, go help them. How does this involve me?"

"It doesn't."

"Thank you and goodbye."

"No, goddammit, not goodbye!" He brought his palm down hard on her desk to punctuate his words. "It doesn't involve you but you're the only one who can help me, and you're gonna hear me out!"

She grew very still at his outburst, but this was not the I-am-shocked kind of stillness that less confrontational people tend to get when confronted with temper. It was more of a I-am-not-going-to-commit-murder kind of stillness that washes over someone exerting great control over their own fury. "William. This is not an argument you will win with outbursts like that. Do it again, and I will have security throw you out. Now, because I am so nice, and because of what good there was between us, but mostly because of how desperate you are--even for you--I will give you one chance. But it had better be good."

"Have I ever told you how amazing you are?"

"Save it. Now make your case."

He told her everything then, not really meaning to. He'd intended only to summarize the events of the day, but the more he told, the more he felt he needed to tell to bring everything into perspective. She also seemed genuinely interested (if not concerned), once she learned he had been hospitalized, and made an attentive listener.

"And so now they're stuck on the Barrow without me, with a total stranger who seems, in my opinion, too eager to help them, and they're moving on to Franklin colony. I need to reach them Darcy. I really need to reach them if they're gonna see this through."

Darcy didn't answer right away. She called her secretary in and had her bring water for both of them. She scratched thoughtfully at her notepad with a pencil, not exactly doodling, but short tight horizontal lines, one beneath the other and another, over and over again. She did this when she wanted to make sure she thoroughly thought a situation through, and Kent always thought it was like she was underlining point after point in her mind.

An antique clock ticked on her broad executive desk, the sort of clock that still could tick, and you weren't going to find one of those outside of offices like these or better; much of the decor was replicated to resemble building materials that hadn't been used in years, things like fur and velvet and wood and cotton, things that more or less didn't exist any more, at least not within colonies. Precious fewer of the items decorating her office, like that old ticking clock, or the real paper of her note pad were even harder to find, and only in executive offices were even their convincing replicas ever seen. The polite thing to do was assume they were real, and one did not ask.


She put the pencil down and leaned her chin on her open palm, elbow on the table. "I sympathize Kent, I really do, and believe it or not, I want to help. But I'm not sure what I can really do."


"You have access."

"Nothing good enough to go against someone like Gorscht, I don't."

"No, I don't mean that kind of access. I'm talking about the tunnels. As an assistant chief, you can use them at your discretion." The tunnels were just that: tunnels. A whole network of tunnels existed at more extreme depths below the ocean floor. They had a dedicated air supply, and whenever corporate big wigs needed to make it from one colony to another in a big hurry, there was a railway system that connected them all. High speed track cars waited for anyone with the right clearance (and anyone who was with them), to use them as they please. They had traveled on them together for some of her work functions when they were married.

"No, no absolutely not. I can't abuse my authority like that William, you'll have to find another way."

"How is it an abuse of authority when it isn't even regulated? All you have to do is swipe your card, they don't even check it against your schedule."

"That's not the point, Kent, those tunnels are for business matters only. Normally if there is  a co-worker or someone who needs to make it to another colony fast for reasons that will affect a deal, then we all kind of wink at that, but this, you aren't even loosely related to company business."

"Then make me a part of it. Be creative."

Darcy sighed, and Kent knew that kind of sigh usually meant the fight was over and he just hadn't caught on to losing it yet. "William..."

"We were gonna have kids, remember?"

Blind shot in the dark, but it hit it's target, though not how he would have liked. She winced--physically winced, and Kent immediately regretted the words. But they were out now.

"Of course I remember," she answered sullenly, her voice low and neutral. "What's that got to do--"

"I know you don't like Sarah, but Jerry was gonna be their godfather. Do you remember that Darcy?"

She pinched the bridge of her nose trying to hold back tears, and Kent couldn't blame her. The better memories often hurt worse than the bad ones. "Yes. I remember," she choked out, her voice wavering at the end  of 'remember', making a weird half sob out of it.

"Well he could die out there Darcy. This isn't just a threat to our careers or some debt hanging over our heads, this is serious scary shit going on. Jerry could die--or at the very least wind up hurt or hospitalized like I was--and it would be my fault. And I owe him more than that. Maybe you don't, but I do, and that's a debt I can't pay right now. So I've come to you, and if I owe you, I owe you, and I'll owe you big. But you know when it matters I'm good for it. You know I'll make it count."

Darcy quickly regained her composure following the foreign helpless sound that came out of her mouth, and she was back in anger mode. She did have tears now, but she seemed unashamed of them anymore, almost as if their existence somehow justified that anger. If not for the big desk between them, he was almost certain she would have punched him hard in the shoulder. That often followed tears like those through their marriage.

"How dare you use Jerry like that, damn you for that, and damn you for assuming it means nothing to me. I couldn't stand by and do nothing while he's in danger anymore than you could--god, you're some piece of work. I'll help your sorry ass, but not for you, for Jerry--for Sarah too, for that matter, who for the record I never had anything against. Her only mistake was getting near you."

Kent was surprised to feel a great flood of relief; he hadn't  honestly been sure she would help him this time, even given the circumstances. He had told himself that he was, but his relief was proof he was only fooling himself. That's twice in one day that he was in the dark and he didn't like it, but he was too tired to care right now, too grateful for Darcy's understanding. The thing of it was that she would probably never really believe how much he did appreciate her, had always done so. And why should she when he rarely showed it?

"Thanks Dar, I can't even begin to tell you how much this means to me. But I guess we're still not friends after this, huh? Well... you know, I still can't figure it. We could have worked, Darcy. We really could have. We should have."

"Yeah, we should have. But you didn't try hard enough, remember?"

"Yeah... I do. I really mean it when I say you're amazing, you know."

She sighed and threw her arms out in resignation. "Yeah, what else is new? Anyway, come on. We'll take my elevator down."

"What are you gonna tell the office?"

"I'll think of something on the way."


---


Scope 3 was dodgy. That was what Kent had said, and they all knew there was no scope 3, and that meant Kent's instincts were telling him that Keaton was dangerous enough to watch. The only problem with that was it meant somebody had to go pretend to check out scope 3, and leave the other person alone with Keaton. Jerry elected to stay, but Sarah pointed out that he was the more appropriate crew member to investigate that kind of thing, and if she went, Keaton might catch on. So here he was hiding in the halls reasonably long enough to sell the lie while Sarah was defenseless and alone with someone they didn't trust.

He had saved them, there was that--well, freed them anyway. And he had offered to risk exposing a supposedly secret dock to pick their captain up, which would have made their odds three to one. So he hadn't really done anything to arouse suspicion. Not yet.

But his arrival was convenient. And their only saving grace was that they had that freaky rock, or else Keaton may not have cared one way or the other for them. And the dock, well, what if they wanted to get their hands on Kent for some reason? Maybe they wanted to study him, since he was exposed to the damned thing. Hell, Jerry had been exposed too, maybe they wanted to study him as well.

He wanted to study him after the way he was behaving during the escape, and that was mostly to satisfy his own curiosity about it. He could easily imagine someone who actually knew a little about the rock--or with any kind of informed scientific interest in it--wanting to make those studies, and caring little for the test subject. He had no intention of winding up a lab rat. There were a lot of different possibilities and too many variables. He would have to take Sarah aside as soon as he could and have her run the numbers on their odds. He wasn't looking forward to the results.

"Jerry, how's that scope looking?"

Time to head back. Sarah's not one to drop hints, so she must be pretty creeped out by the guy. "Everything checks out, I was just about to head back."

"Roger."

Jerry crawled out from behind the cable array and made his way back towards the bridge, picking a slow enough pace to justify any final adjustments he might have made to scope 3. By the time he arrived, Sarah was busily checking her screen for data, keeping one eye on Keaton without being too obvious about it. Keaton himself was busy pacing about the bridge. Jerry noted him stealing glances at one display or another, probably collecting information about their ship system, for what good it would do him. He was decidedly more obvious about this then Sarah was about watching him.

"That's done," Jerry said, figuring at the very least he could provide a distraction now that he was back. "What's our depth right now Sarah?"

"3500 feet. Air tanks are full, we took in from the feed at the dock. Scrubbers weren't switched out though, so we'll have to keep an eye on co2 levels."

"How do they look now?"

"Good enough. I think we'll make it to Franklin without any issues."

"I thought we were going to Jamison."

Oops. Forgot something there, didn't you Jer? Neither of them had any of Kent's training or experience as a captain. As a safety officer and engineer, it was Jerry's job to know everything about a captain's job from the technical side, and Sarah had her fair share of turns at the controls, so between the two of them they were doing all right filling in for Kent and still doing their own jobs. But it kept both of them busy, and smaller details like informing your passengers of what is going on tend to get lost in the shuffle. 

"'Should be Jamison' is what he said. That means it won't be. You have to know the captain to appreciate how his brain and his mouth don't always agree with each other. Trust me, we'll find him at Franklin."


"You know the man. It's almost clever really, hiding a coded message with such a simple phrasing. It seems too simple a thing to be significant."

"That's Kent for you," Sarah said "so simple he's confusing."

Jerry scowled at Sarah for talking so frankly about Kent, though he supposed he hadn't exactly painted the best picture himself.

"Sorry," Sarah amended, then busied herself with her console.

Blue light flickered and diffused outside the portholes of the Barrow, sending shivers down Jerry's back like it always did. He sat at his own console, pushed his glasses up his nose and got down to the business of running safety tests on the main systems.

Needles jumped and bobbed, lights flashed, dots and waveforms and spectral analyses paraded across his screens as he processed the data into real-time information about the soundness of the ship. There were more advanced control panels on the market--whole ship systems completely reliant on more virtual interfaces, all touch keys voice commands and number strings meant to represent signal variances. Jerry had served on such ships before; he hated them. When everything is virtualized and emulated to fit a universal interface, you lose something in reliability. If the computers glitch, lives could be at stake with such systems.

No good, can't be trusted. Give him real instruments that represent physical tangible real-time data and events any day, no matter how antiquated and obsolete they may seem. At least they were reliable, as long as they were consistently calibrated and maintained. And they don't give false readings: If a needle sticks, it is very obviously stuck and the engineer won't mistakenly believe it is reading a level that is different from what is true. He'll just un-stick it. With virtual needles, a faulty sensor could give you a fake reading with no clear indication that anything is wrong with it. Dangerous.

"So what kind of cargo do you guys usually pull up from these sites anyway? I'm assuming this is the first time that you have pulled up something this controversial?"

"Yyyyeahhh... uh, we usually pull up old parts or occasionally lost possessions. It isn't like the old days, I mean the old old days, not when the colonies first started going out. You know, when there were ancient sunken treasures all over the place. All that stuff was brought up before anyone alive was born. You reckon the difference?"

"Sure, you're talking about Spanish dowries and such. Like you put it, ancient riches."

"Exactly. It's not like that. Never was. Everything we pull up now is the stuff so small and worn away that it's all but useless. Things passed over by others because it isn't worth enough to them. But we're a small operation, so we can afford to bring that stuff up, and usually we find buyers interested in their historic value. You know, old car parts from sunken transports, wallets, tacky jewelry, even old shoes. If we're really lucky, we'll stumble onto something like the skeleton of some extinct animal, and when we get back from those trips we make enough to put something in the bank. But mostly we just break even."

"Hm. So tell me then, Mr. Sykes; with so much money at stake, why is it that Kent turned down such a huge offer do you think?"

Jerry thought about that. His weathered hand scratched at graying whiskers. He turned off his forward displays--he wouldn't need them for the next few minutes--and entered an automation sequence that would perform the next set of diagnostics while they talked. He turned in his chair so he was facing Keaton and crossed his legs. "I'm sorry. How exactly do you know that? This whole business is a private matter, and I view how knowledgable you and others are about with growing distress and alarm."

"I have sources," Keaton said "let's just leave it at that."

"No. No, you're going to give me better than that. We're putting a lot of trust in you, we deserve to know what you know."

"You want the sample for yourself," Sarah asked "don't you? That's what this is really all about. You don't care about the danger it poses or even what Gorscht would do with it. You just want to make sure he doesn't have it so you do."

"Haven't we already gone over this? I'm telling you, I didn't have to help either of you escape. I could have taken it from you by force. I easily could have."


"Yeah, well you'll recall my state of mind wasn't in tip-top form just then, so let's go over it again. What is your interest in the rock? Why is everyone so damn eager to get their hands on it?"

Keaton sighed. "You won't believe me if I tell you."

"I don't know about that," Sarah said "after the last few days, I'm prepared to believe a lot of things."

Keaton looked from one of them to the other and sighed again. He folded his arms in a posture that suggested to Jerry a child who is reluctantly telling his parents about the broken vase after being scolded. "It's a fusion assister."

"Beg pardon?" Sarah had an uncustomary blank look on her face.

Holy Shit.

"Without getting too technical," Keaton continued "fusion is one of the ways in which we can harvest vast amounts of power from the atom. It's a lot like fission, only more dangerous and with a higher power yield. The sun purportedly is fusion at work, though I have never seen it up close, so I couldn't say for sure.

"Anyway... there are many dangerous particles released by the fusion process that have made it very dangerous and financially impractical as a permanent energy solution. This issue has been less pressing since we figured out how to harness some power from the storms, but as population increases, the need for power is quickly looking to overtake even that seemingly limitless supply's ability to provide. And there is also the growing concern of what will happen on the day the storm stops. There is no reserve, nothing usable. So the push for fusion has been renewed of late.

"Enter FAS-8."

"FAS-8?"

"It's a fancy name for this stuff," Keaton said, pointing to the metal box that Jerry had thrown the rock sample into. "F for fusion, AS for assister. Not sure what the 8 is for, probably some atomic significance. Anyway, the stuff is like magic. When used with the right gas, the resulting plasma is rendered in a process that is 99% non-destructive. Don't ask me how, I don't know how."

"Ok, so lots of people are willing to spend money and even kill to be the first to get their hands on a big supply of this stuff so they can emerge as the leading provider of a new stable and abundant power source. That's not so unbelievable."

"You grasp the situation just so, Mr. Sykes. But that isn't the part that's hard to believe. No, the larger fish to swallow is what we're interested in it for."

"So you do want it," Sarah shouted explosively "I knew it!"

Keaton held his hand as if to ward away a question during a press conference. "Yes, we are interested in it. But it is not our way to take what isn't ours. We are not thieves. I was going to explain this all once we reached relative safety and ask for cooperation in what our interests are, should you and your captain be so inclined. We're prepared to make our own offer for that cooperation, though it is nothing so grand and lofty as that which Gorscht offered. We are not so wealthy."

"You say 'we' a lot," Jerry said. "Who's 'we'?"

"One thing at a time. Back to the reason we're interested in FAS-8, and that does require some explanation of who we are to be put into perspective. The first thing you need to know is that we come from outside, and I'll save you the trouble of asking. I don't mean we're from a distant colony that lost contact years ago, or some free-wandering vessel that doesn't commerce with your colonies, I mean outside as in out of the water. We come from the surface."

"That's impossible," Jerry shouted, not realizing that he had stood to do so.

"I'm afraid that's not the unbelievable part either. But it is true, in cave systems, reclaimed buildings with controlled environments... tedious and laborious work maintaining living conditions on the surface, but we do it. And we learn. We've reclaimed a lot of lost knowledge up there, things the colony records gloss over, mis-represent, or things that are missing entirely from those records. We have it up there. Old, undeniable proof of certain things. But I won't go into that.

"What I will tell you (and this is the remarkable part, so pay attention), is that there are wild places on the surface. Places where the storm creates temporal displacements and time-space violations. In plain english, portals to unknown times and places."

Keaton paused here and waited. It seemed incumbent upon them to say something then, to either dismiss or qualify his claim that there were portals that traveled through time and space. Not wanting to be rude, Jerry obliged as best he could. "Well Keaton, I gotta say that I think you were right. I don't believe that at all. I don't think I ever will. But I'm fair minded, so I'll assume you do to avoid the unpleasantness of calling you a liar."

Again Keaton sighed, and this time Jerry sensed that there was a world-weary quality to it, almost as if he had had this conversation before and grew tired of non-believers. "As you say; I do believe this, and it is because I have seen it with my own eyes. I will tell you what else I have seen. It seems to me that there is a natural order of the universe, and time flowing in one direction is more or less a part of that natural order. That being the case, it is reasonable to assume that there are really only three time states, right? Past, present and future."

"Ok, why not? Sure, that makes sense."

"So wherever you exist in that flow of time, you can easily be seated in one of three categories."

"But which one is which," Sarah asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, how can you tell which of the three categories you're in? I mean... someone in the future or in the past is going to view their time as the present, so who's right? By which 'present' do we gauge how we relate to the other 'time states'? In other words, which present is the real present?"

"Well see, that's the thing. I think our present used to be the 'real' one. Before the storm. I think it's like there was some dial or lever or gauge that said 'here, this is the now that you are in', and now with the storm, it's like it can't find it's true position anymore. Because these portals aren't fixed. They fluctuate wildly, some so much so that you can't even begin to guess what is on the other side of them. Like time itself has gone mad.

"But I've seen daylight coming through a portal before. I've also seen black and starless skies unmasked by violet lightning, and strange and foreign constructions and cultures... we monitor these portals, study them, try to learn from them. That is who we are.

"There is an inventor among us. And what he has found is that it is possible to send currents or frequencies or what-have-you to these portals. He has also discovered that samples of FAS-8 can be introduced as a conductor of this current, and the result is very similar to the effect it has on fusion; it stabilizes the event, fixes the portals in place for long periods of time. We have successfully kept a portal open in one location for as long as eleven days. We're on the verge of successfully sending someone through who can learn about the time and come back to share what he has learned."

Jerry was dumbstruck by the concept. "Why would you do such a thing?"

"If we can go back to the past... if we can learn what made the world this way... well, we could stop it. We could prevent the great catastrophe. Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

Jerry thought about it. Stop the near life ending event that darkened their skies and sent them running with their tails between their legs into the sea? Sure, that sounds great on paper. If you believed it was even possible, which frankly, Jerry had more and more trouble giving any credit. But even if you assume that is possible, you can't just ignore the consequences. Who alive now would never be born in that event? Countless people on this colony were descendants of the survivors of that catastrophe, and those founding ancestors only knew each other because they shared a common refuge, a place to flee from the dying and inhospitable world they had created. If that event never happened, most people alive now would never exist. As one of those people, Jerry had a big problem with that, and explained as much to Keaton.

"I understand that concern," he responded "but I do not share it. We don't know for certain that the parents of our parents would not be drawn together by fate in a different way. Or perhaps the genetics would be different but the souls that inhabit us will be the same."

"Listen buddy, you don't know what you're playing with here. I think you've watched too many old movies. How that wrinkle does or doesn't work itself out is a little too important to just give it your best optimistic guess. You have to consider you could be wiping out the entire current population by doing so."

"But think of the lives that would be spared! Think of all those who died in the catastrophe."

"I'm sorry," Sarah said "But I have to agree with Jerry on this one. They made their bed, our forebears. Some died their deaths and others lived, and now there is us. Don't we have a right to our lives now, when they are the ones who threw theirs away? Why should they get a second chance at our expense?"


"But you're missing the bigger picture, both of you. If no one was even born in the first place, you can hardly say we'd be killing anyone."

"As someone who is very much alive now and would view any other state as very much dead, I'm inclined to disagree," Jerry countered.

Keaton struck his thigh in frustration, but if he had any further argument to make, he kept it to himself. After a brief time, he continued on. "Well it's neither here nor there. Whether we act on what we can learn from other times and places or not, that knowledge is an invaluable precious resource, and we believe it is one worth preserving. We will die to protect that."

"I'm sure you would. But let's focus on staying alive for now, alright? We can have this argument again when Kent catches up with us."

"Fair enough. You did ask me to explain, well, there's my explanation. Take it or leave it."

There followed an uncomfortable silence then that stretched on for well over an hour. It was only interrupted by the necessary report of minor details between Sarah and Jerry as they piloted the Barrow across the murky deep, but that was less conversation than simple ship chatter. After the first twenty minutes of that hour, Keaton excused himself to the lounge to nurse a headache that had come on.

They did not discuss the rock, or crazy notions of life on the surface or time-travel, almost as if they could dismiss it that way, like they would somehow make it more real by talking about it, and then they would have to deal with it. Jerry was reasonably certain that silence was better.

Needles jumped, lights blipped, and Jerry's screens showed him an endless procession of raw data that he was more than happy to thoughtlessly lose himself in. Their speed was fine, their air was good, and amid flashes of light from clashing furies in heaven their little Barrow was pushed by near silent engines through the cold and murky dark between the colonies, heeding the call of her lost master until she once again felt his hands at her controls.

Then all would be right with the world.







Okay gang, there you have it. This DP is a little unusual in that I did not end the chapter on the DP, but rather it is about the end of Kent's portion of the chapter. The DP is what excuse Darcy uses to justify Kent's use of the executive railway tunnels. For anyone of the opinion that this is a frivolous and shallow DP with no real bearing on the SG, think again; the timing of Kent's arrival at Franklin Colony will be absolutely crucial to how events unfold once he is there, and the excuse he uses to get there will slow or quicken that process significantly. Trust me, this DP matters. I am open to questions about Darcy and her work to help inform you all on possible excuses.

I didn't put his meeting with her here at the end after the Barrow scene because that would have created a false sense of where they were in relation to each other as it concerns the passage of time, so I apologize for the DP not being at the end, but that's the way it had to be.

Hopefully we can have enough options for a poll within a week or two, and then the poll will be up for around the same amount of time, then the next chapter as quickly after that as possible. In keeping with my new efforts to speed up chapter output, I will be making shorter chapters from that point on, though it will be sketchy this first time as RL has thrown more chaos and disorder into my life which will keep me quite busy for the next two months.

But we soldier on. So, hopefully you enjoyed this installment.

Oh!

For anyone who's still kind of confused about the lever, check out the lever section of the updated introduction here. 

So there's that explained!

Also, in an effort to make my SG a little more accessible to new readers, I am wanting to do a summary in brief so they can just jump in, but i.e. 6 paragraphs ago (yes, including the ones that are only one line or one word), I am totally swamped for time, so if anyone wants to volunteer for that, I wouldn't say no. If no one does, that's fine too, I'll eventually get to it. Just not any time soon.


So I'll leave you on that note, and hopefully this chapter doesn't disappoint. Though for the record, the last few bits are quite rough and I am disclaiming right up front that this isn't the final revision. I'm just throwing it up to make my deadline, but I plan to smooth it out gradually over the next few days. Nothing major, just little patches here and there that most of you won't even notice.

Anyway, in the meantime, carry on.

:D
Back to top  
Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 2:56 am    Post subject:  

*Bags the first comment for Chapter 6*

Finally an explanation for the lever! ;)

I enjoyed this chapter very much so. Kent is beginning to get back to normal, and I particularly liked the way the relationships between these characters is developing. Kent really does care about his crew as people (not just playing on it to win Darcy over). With the tensions between the four of them - Darcy/Jerry, Darcy/Sarah - a scene where they are all in the same place would be fascinating indeed.

I know the feeling well of wanting to come back and polish little bits of the chapter - but from a reader's point of view there was only one part that jarred for me...

Quote: By the time he arrived, Sarah was busily checking her screen for data, keeping one eye on Keaton (who was busy himself pacing about the bridge and trying really hard not to be noticed stealing glances at one display or another as he collected information about their ship system), and successfully not being obvious about watching him. - Here we are jumping POV into Keaton's mind here, and it feels as if you've given the game away, at least at this point in the chapter. Jerry and Sarah don't know if he can be trusted or not - he's the man of mystery at this point.


The DP does seem a little insignificant, but only because it occurs before the mind-blowing revelations about Keaton and what they want to use the rock to try and achieve. I think it is quite a clever DP, the potential results of which I can see spreading out over a number of chapters.

But it all seems to be starting to focus now - do we use the rock to develop a next-generation power source when the storms eventually stop, or do we use the rock to further some mind bending scientific experiments to see if it the problem can be averted in the first place? Each option has its costs, but which would Jerry, Sarah and Kent - in fact their whole society want to risk?


For the DP I think I need to know more about Darcy's job before thinking of a plausible excuse for using the executive tunnels. So, what is it that she actually does, and what is the most important component of her business? She talks of Gorscht as if she's heard of him before - perhaps her company have had dealings with him in the past.

I feel that if there can be some kind of tenuous link between the truth and the excuse that they eventually concoct it may have a better chance of success.
Back to top  
Reiso



Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Posts: 917
Location: Western North America

Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:02 am    Post subject:  

Crunchy, thanks for the comments.

The shift in perspective you mentioned in the scene you quoted was an unintended accident of awkward phrasing. The intention was not to change to Keaton's perspective, but to show that Jerry was observant enough to catch Keaton peeking at the screens, and smart enough to guess why. I tried to squeeze that into parentheses following Sarah's own subterfuge to punctuate the irony of all the simultaneous trickery going on, but I can see how that makes it confusing, so I went back and fixed it.

As to what Darcy does, she is the assistant chief for the communications division of the colony, which is roughly like being a corporate CEO in the real world. The communications division itself is a bit like marrying radio, telephone, cable and internet services under one roof, and imposing government regulation over it. She coordinates the responsibilities of those working beneath her, is a public figurehead for the division during benefits or public gatherings, and she is a representative of their interests/liaison when it comes to brokering jobs and deals with other divisions or private companies. She approves most contracts, only passing proposals she does not firmly grasp the full significance of up to the division chief for final approval. She also handles payroll and when necessary, layoffs. Unofficially (or perhaps officially if viewed through the filter of her duty as figurehead), she also serves as a counsellor/motivational speaker for her workforce.

Because of the vast majority of what individual duties she can and must perform on a daily basis, and how much those duties will vary and change each day based on the business of the division, it would be impossible for me to provide a detailed list of those responsibilities without having some managerial experience of my own, which frankly I don't. So hopefully this is at least informative enough to stir up some ideas.

Other points of interest; her own assistant has the power to execute the authority of her office in her absence. She answers to the Division Chief, who is Chief in name alone, and this is why: What is now the communications division started as her own small private company. Back when her and Kent were an item, the success of that company was a dream they shared, and Kent actually helped invest in it and generate starting capital. However, the colony had the advantage of pre-existing infrastructure, which any company wanting to reach the masses had to use. Any company that became successful (which Darcy's "Firecracker Network" did) was eventually bought out to eliminate competition from non-regulated sources. Kent was against the buy out, but Darcy was afraid the company would go under without more money, so she took the deal. This disagreement doubtlessly contributed to their divorce.

So back to the chief... he is more like a government inspector who oversees Darcy running her own company-err, division, as "Assistant-Chief". Mostly he signs what she can't  because she doesn't have his authority.

So there that is in a nutshell. In the interest of saving time, I will leave more specifics to be asked about before going into them. I don't want to bog everyone down with details that may or may not be useful.
Back to top  
Emperor



Joined: 02 Nov 2004
Posts: 467
Location: San Diego, CA

Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:51 am    Post subject:  

So first off let me say that this story is shaping up quite nicely, I loved the interaction between Darcy and Kent (but I'm a sucker for believable interpersonal character stuff - as I overuse it so much in Symphony). I really like the mystery and allure of the back story of the surface. It only makes me as the reader want to see them go up there and have that mystery laid bare.

As for the DP, I'll have to think about it a little more.

Great writing bro, and wonderful storytelling.
Back to top  
Reiso



Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Posts: 917
Location: Western North America

Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 12:18 pm    Post subject:  

Thanks for the feedback bro, I too am anxious to see what will happen if and when our heroes get to the surface...

Also, I meant to mention to Crunchy that the prospect of having Kent, Sarah, Jerry and Darcy all in the same room is quite possibly one of the most frightening things I can contemplate as a writer--but indeed quite pregnant with the promise of interesting old wounds that could be prodded and poked for our amusement. Hmmm...

Just a heads up to everyone that I am temporarily locking this topic while I perform some minor forum maintenance. It should only take a handful of minutes, so it will most likely go unnoticed.

EDIT: Ok, so now through some forum trickery the topic is unlocked, but you will notice it is not the same topic. Comments will once again take place in their respective chapters for the sake of the ease of posting.

:D
Back to top  
D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 3:49 pm    Post subject:  

Great chapter. It started out a little slow-- especially because of that prologue which was written in an unusually flimsy style -- but it picked up tempo as it went on and eventually it ended up in a discussion of distortions in the time-space continuum. Awesome.

I like that you're adding new layers of complexity-- we barely know anything about this underwater world and already we are enticed by the mystery of the surface world.

The DP is interesting. It would be difficult for Darcy to pass Kent off as a big shot businessman, although she could try. Then there's the straightforward bribe or threat of dismissal. She could also try some sort of trickery: pretend Kent is sick and that he needs a certain treatment that is only given in another colony. It is the pretext of a medical emergency. And it wouldn't be hard to prove, since he's been in the hospital recently.
Back to top  
Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 2:58 am    Post subject:  

I suspect the boss will think that something is up if she even suggests Kent is the reason for using the tunnels.

He'd have been around when negotiations were underway to buy the company, and no doubt his objections to it will be remembered. The boss might even see him as a threat.

Secondly, it seems the thing with the D.O. is common knowledge - something happened - two crew members of a mercenary salvage team were detained their captain was hospitalised - even if the nature of the rock in question is not known, just having Kent there may seem suspicious. Plus the break-out and explosions that accompanied it will not go unnoticed for long.

It sounds like FireCracker network is a great asset to the big Chief, but it is the network for this colony only. Just how far-reaching is this Chief's empire? Is it just communications, or all companies in general? Does it extend to just this colony, or other colonies as well?

You say he's Chief in name alone - that sounds as though Darcy pretty much has free reign to make her own decisions, still, which means she can also exert control over what he sees and does not see - although she'd have to be careful about the risk of him vetoing something she might want to approve.

I say she mocks up a fake proposal from a similar company in another colony, which allegedly has developed the next generation technology. They want to do a deal with FireCracker Networks. The fake includes an invitation to a meeting, which Darcy 'decides' to attend as a fact finding excercise. She'll not need the Boss's approval for this sort of thing, at least not at this stage until she thinks it's worth doing the deal.

Her assistant can run operations for the few days that she'll be away but the meeting is tomorrow and she'll need to use the executive tunnels today so that she can be bright and fresh in the morning. Disguise Kent - he'll not be looking himself anyway because of his experience with the rock.

Anyway, I'm waffling. Fake a business meeting. :)
Back to top  
Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 10:53 pm    Post subject:  

A fantastic chapter, Reiso. Great expansion on the story, great character interactions, and lovely little details, like the CO2 scrubbers - seemingly unimportant, but to me the kind of thing which bring it alive.

I caught one tiny typo - kind of amusing actually ;)

Quote: and those founding ancestors only knew each otter because they shared a common refuge,

~

DP wise, I think we should stay away from business proposals, as they're something that the Chief is used to getting involved with at times. I think something to do with our side-role as staff counsellor would keep away prying eyes.

Perhaps she's been asked to give an emergency 'motivational speech' to a group of unruly staff in the other colony. Maybe it's a concern they may even threaten strike action, and she's been called in to help diffuse the situation before it escalates that far. All very hush hush, so it doesn't get out to the media.

Happy Writing :)
Back to top  
Reiso



Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Posts: 917
Location: Western North America

Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 9:48 pm    Post subject:  

Well spotted typo your Mayorness, and quite funny indeed--all fixed now.

Some great observations and suggestions from everyone. I think this is one of the strengths of Storygaming and collaborative work in general; there are already a few ideas I've gotten by reading the comments that could take the story in directions I wouldn't have gone on my own.

There are a couple of things it seems I need to clarify though; one is that while Darcy certainly can travel herself and bring Kent with her, she could also send him alone once she commits to an excuse for him to be there. So don't feel limited to ideas that require both of them. The other is that Firecracker Networks ceased to exist as an entity once it was acquired by greater colony authority. It was fully absorbed and it's offices and workforce are now just one branch of the collective communications infrastructure for the colony. Colonies are autonomous from one another, so there are no known authorities that extend beyond one. That being said, there is a sense of cooperation between "sister" colonies and their like divisions, especially when there are potential deals to be made. 

D-Lotus, while threatening or bribing are good straightforward ideas, they really don't apply here. There is no person regulating the use of the tunnels, she has free access to the system at her discretion. The concern here is how to justify that use later if it's looked at too closely. The idea of using his recent hospitalization and his current state as a cover for a medical emergency is a great one though--good thinking.

I also like Crunchy's idea of a fake business meeting, and disguising Kent has interesting possibilities. But I am not exactly sure how that suggestion really presents a reason for Kent coming along. What role would he serve in such a subterfuge that would not be accomplished without him?

Smee, I also like a fake crisis like the one you suggest, and the additional point of wanting to hush up what could be a public scandal as the motivation for secrecy and discretion in general is a nice touch that could avoid too many questions being asked. But I have the same question for you that I asked about Crunchy's suggestion: what makes Kent necessary for this plan? Remember the key issue here is not justifying Darcy's use of the tunnels. She can come and go as she pleases. The need now is to justify Kent's use.

Great suggestions all around everyone, keep 'em coming. I should be able to poll pretty soon. 

  :D
Back to top  
Smee



Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215
Location: UK

Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 10:23 pm    Post subject:  

To excuse Kent, just load him down with papers, files, and other paraphernalia... he can be Darcy's assistant. An Assistant Director doesn't carry her own bag now does she?!

Plus, I think she'd enjoy creating a dogsbody out of him, a limited amount of retribution for the way he coerced her into this with use of Jerry's name. :lol:
Back to top  
Mastermind



Joined: 11 Jan 2007
Posts: 198
Location: Right here.

Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 6:43 pm    Post subject:  

Claim Kent is a sub-contractor working on some inter-colonial communications line maintenance/deployment/otherfancywordslikethat? Could that work?

Reiso wrote: While Darcy certainly can travel herself and bring Kent with her, she could also send him alone once she commits to an excuse for him to be there. So don't feel limited to ideas that require both of them.

Yeah, but if Darcy comes along, there's a greater possibility of her being in the same room as Kent, Sarah and Jerry! :D
Back to top  
Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 6:23 am    Post subject:  

Reiso wrote: I also like Crunchy's idea of a fake business meeting, and disguising Kent has interesting possibilities. But I am not exactly sure how that suggestion really presents a reason for Kent coming along. - Hmmm, good point...

Mastermind wrote: Claim Kent is a sub-contractor working on some inter-colonial communications line maintenance/deployment/otherfancywordslikethat? - Ahh, there's the good reason!

Although he'd still have to be disguised. The boss will know Kent from the time negotiations were underway to buy Darcy's company, and he'll know that Kent was opposed to the idea.
Back to top  
D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 12:33 pm    Post subject:  

By the way, on the front page the tag for this storygame is still "Trade Windows". :?
Back to top  
Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 1:59 pm    Post subject:  

I know :? - Key's been made aware! Hopefully it'll be corrected when he checks in next.
Back to top  
Reiso



Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Posts: 917
Location: Western North America

Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 2:49 pm    Post subject:  

Mastermind wrote: Reiso wrote: While Darcy certainly can travel herself and bring Kent with her, she could also send him alone once she commits to an excuse for him to be there. So don't feel limited to ideas that require both of them.
Yeah, but if Darcy comes along, there's a greater possibility of her being in the same room as Kent, Sarah and Jerry! :D

<shakes fist angrily> Darn you Mastermiiiiiind!!!

D-Lotus wrote: By the way, on the front page the tag for this storygame is still "Trade Windows" :?.
Crunchyfrog wrote: I know :? - Key's been made aware! Hopefully it'll be corrected when he checks in next.

Oh good, I was just about to PM someone about that--glad to see it's being handled.

Some good amendments to the previous suggestions, those all definitely have potential and make Kent more needed for the deception, even if it's only as a place holder. I'll have the poll up tomorrow night provided no more suggestions come in--well, even if they do, I'll just add them too.


:D
Back to top  
Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 10:20 pm    Post subject:  

Just got the word... front page is all fixed! :)
Back to top  
Reiso



Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Posts: 917
Location: Western North America

Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 9:40 pm    Post subject:  

Ok the poll is up! Sorry it's tardy--things are going to hell around here and I've been struggling to keep up with everything. Depending on which option gets picked, Kent can either go alone or accompany Darcy in some assisting capacity. As long as there are no objections or strong feelings one way or the other, I will make that call once the poll closes. Otherwise, I can always hold another poll for whether he goes alone or not--just let me know.
Back to top  
Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Wed May 12, 2010 3:51 am    Post subject:  

Reiso, you truly are a master of polls. I cannot deny that I would find any excuse for them both to go along, but this is a difficult choice.

In the end I chose option 2:

Reiso wrote: Smee, I also like a fake crisis like the one you suggest, and the additional point of wanting to hush up what could be a public scandal as the motivation for secrecy and discretion in general is a nice touch that could avoid too many questions being asked. But I have the same question for you that I asked about Crunchy's suggestion: what makes Kent necessary for this plan? Remember the key issue here is not justifying Darcy's use of the tunnels. She can come and go as she pleases. The need now is to justify Kent's use.

The Hush hush would mean perhaps use of the tunnels would be the most appropriate, and a crisis might mean an expert sub-contractor found at short notice is a necessity. Ahhh, but I still like disguising Kent!

...and voted!
Back to top  
D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 11:00 am    Post subject:  

I was wondering what made you choose to exclude the pretense of a medical emergency? I'm not sure I would have voted for that anyway, but I'd like to know why it wasn't on the poll.
Back to top  
Reiso



Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Posts: 917
Location: Western North America

Posted: Thu May 13, 2010 11:27 am    Post subject:  

Hey D

I thought I answered that in a previous post, but a quick scan through shows me I didn't--sorry about that. The medical emergency was a cool idea, but the long and short of it is that medical emergencies can only be declared by doctors, which is not something in Darcy's umbrella of authority. It's too bad really; like you said, he has been recently hospitalized and he looks like crap, so it would have been a great sell. But it is just beyond her.
Back to top  
Reiso



Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Posts: 917
Location: Western North America

Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 5:36 pm    Post subject:  

Last day to vote!
Back to top  
Thunderbird



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 9:51 pm    Post subject:  

ack! I'll be catching up here soon Reiso.
Back to top  
Spaceponi



Joined: 25 Dec 2009
Posts: 6

Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 10:59 pm    Post subject:  

Hello hello. I like the new chapter, all kinds of new concepts for us. I always forget that they are underwater. There is one line that made me laugh - "I should have taken the money while I could," he agreed with a sigh. "Thank you self," he added somewhat bitterly "you always did know best."
Back to top  
Reiso



Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Posts: 917
Location: Western North America

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 12:04 am    Post subject:  

Tied, eh? Ok internet, you win this round. I will leave the poll up for another day or two in the hopes the tie is broken (Thunderbird, I am looking at you) or I'll break it myself if need be.
Back to top  
Thunderbird



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 7:20 am    Post subject:  

Lol... ok... I'll read it and vote tonight. Looking forward to it actually.
Back to top  
Thunderbird



Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 8:55 pm    Post subject:  

Ok, so, yes, this story is developing nicely. There were times during the middle where I was fighting being derailed but the details were a nice touch nevertheless. Perhaps it was the length of the sentences... not sure.

Regardless, once you started talking about the rock and its potentials and the time portals, the story suddenly got very interesting indeed. Much could be done here where plot development is concerned. Well done.

Oh, yes, and voted and broke the tie. Heh heh.
Back to top  
Reiso



Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Posts: 917
Location: Western North America

Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 10:27 pm    Post subject:  

Thanks Thunderbird, I am happy to have piqued your interest.

The poll is closed, and the winning decision is to attempt to pass off Kent as a sub-contractor. I hadn't expected that one before everyone voted, so I'll be a little tasked to have it out in time, but my goal is one week to ten days. Keep your eyes peeled everyone!
Back to top  
 
       Storygames Home -> Sector 17
Page 1 of 1


Powered by phpBB Search Engine Indexer
Powered by phpBB 2.0.16 © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group