City of IF

[crazybookgal]

okay this is going to be one of those old fashioned finish the story round the campfire games
Let me explain:
I'll write a starting chapter. Then anyone can write another chapter. You don't have to p.m me or whatever. There is no order- whoever posts first is all.
My only rules are:
*No rude stuff, seriously-cuz then I'll have to look at the chapters before you post them and i want this to remain very loose, so please respect this rule.

*No double posting-if it's slow then I'll do some chapters

*this isn't really a rule but try to leave on a cliff hanger

And actually it doesn't hav to be even a chapter. It can be a sentence...a word! now you have no excuse not to post haha! it can be outrageous and silly. Give me a little time to post the first chapter. Before that you can post questions, comments, and concerns-or ideas.

[Lebrenth]

Sounds fun! I think I'll post something in here when you get started. Though it is collaborative, if it doesn't use DP's, it probably ought to be in Linear Lane. I could find it there as easily as here, so it doesn't really make a difference I guess. What's it going to be about?

[crazybookgal]

Vanilla looked at her friend, “Really?”

“Seriously” responded Rita, looking at Vanilla’s dress.

“Yes the blue matches your eyes perfectly” mocked their friend, Jay, in a high voice.

Vanilla combed a hand through her white-blond bangs. That’s why her mom gave her the nickname, Vanilla. She also had pale skin and pale blue eyes. A large contrast to Mexican friend Rita, who had dark brown eyes and hair.

Other than Rita and Jay, there was also Maxi (Maxine)and Jesse. Maxi, Jay, and Vanilla had known each other because their mom’s went to the same yoga class and dropped them off at the same daycare. Rita and Jay had come in at kindergarten. And none of them knew Vanilla’s real name. It’s too embarrassing, she would say. But really, her mother had told her never to tell it to anyone-ever.

The crew was at the mall and everyone wanted to do the usual things; Jesse and Vanilla wanted to go to the music stores, Maxi and Jay yearned for the movie theater, and Rita wanted to go to the dress stores. And it was Rita’s turn to choose what they did today.

Everyone did their usual activities when it was Rita’s day. They all sat down by the mirrors. Maxi played games on her ITouch, Jesse practiced magic tricks, Vanilla read a book, and Jay amused himself by making cracks about anything Rita tried on then. Rita, as she always did, brought various things for her friends to try on, always met with a no, so she would scowl and put the outfit back.

However, when Rita brought a blue halter neck dress for Vanilla to try on, Vanilla did. Something so out of the ordinary, it had to have had something to do with the extraordinary events that would take place.

Vanilla liked the dress. So did everyone else. Even Jay, you could tell, was shocked about how good it looked. As they were all admiring, and Vanilla was looking at the price tag, a voice came on the intercom, Attention all shoppers the mall is closing early today. Please exit the mall.

“That’s weird” commented Jesse. Just then, the metal door that came down during closed hours blocked the entrance.

“Hey!” yelled Rita. She looked around for a store’s clerk, but then she remembered she hadn’t actually seen one when they entered the store. Suddenly Maxi turned and screamed. The other teens turned also and saw…

okay do you see what i mean cliff hanger? you don't need to do that if you're doing one sentance and pressed for time though

[Cremuex Levier]

So, is the story actually about a few teenagers at the mall or was that just an example of what you meant by cliffhanger.

You could get a little bit of the character's personalities by what they enjoyed doing at the shopping center but to be honest- I don't think that's really enough for me to work on and still be in character for all of them. By that I mean I don't know which of the characters is likely to say "I have a mobile, maybe we should call the police?" or which one would be more likely to decide "Let's just break out, we're not taking anything so we shouldn't get in trouble", "Where's the fire escape in this place?" or "Lets just stay here until the morning when the manager comes to open the shop-".

I know that's a lot of examples of logical things that can happen and this might not be about being logical all the time but I think motives and the way people think really influences the character's actions.

Just to reiterate, is the story based on the girls being at the mall and weird things happening or is that just an example? If it was just an example I'm quite interested in seeing the story that you had in mind.

Kudos for the realistic style and not needing the story to be fantasy in order to have an interesting plot though.