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HalfEmptyHero
Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 342
Location: Where rolls the Oregon, and hears no sound
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| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:23 am Post subject: The North |
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crazybookgal
Joined: 08 Oct 2010
Posts: 196
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| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 11:44 am Post subject: |
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this draws my curiosity certainly.
a few points
Quote: But I was as mischievous as another other child
any other child?
Quote: he handed me the folded up mask
you meant map right?
just wondering
anyway a very solid beginning in my opinion :) |
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HalfEmptyHero
Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 342
Location: Where rolls the Oregon, and hears no sound
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| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Fixed. Thanks. |
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Thunderbird
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Posts: 2139
Location: Rising from the ashes
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| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 8:07 pm Post subject: |
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A wonderful beginning to a grand new adventure! Welcome back to IF HEH! Been a while :) And this is an excellent return. Had a strong 'classic' lit feel. It was not entirely devoid of typos but they could all be completely forgiven as the message was not indecipherable through them. Honestly, though, this was one of the best starts I've read in a while. Very nicely crafted.
Looking forward to more! |
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Posts: 1858
Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men
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| Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 3:20 am Post subject: I Think...... |
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Nice beginning! A very energy building opening.
I can feel the tingle of adventure in my bones, and well as the thrill of excitment. This is hitting my Jack London bone. Yes, I have an entire bone of my body dedicated to good old Jack. Heheheh. The "real" feel and eloquently put background leading up to this point was very intrgueing and intrecate without being a mass of info thrown over the readers. Very well done. The nods to storytellers and fantastic mysteries got me itching for more.
Let the Idearim flow and lets see some action! I can't wait to see what comes next! |
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