City of IF

Smee · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK

By an unknown author by the name of DRSmith from Writing.com.

Reading this really made me giggle :lol: :

Mild language warning!

A Manly Thing?

Across the bar from where I sit
I'm list'ning to a sexist snit.
Both biased in their attitudes
Toward male and female aptitudes.

“Oh yesh men are, you pampered prig,”
“Shez who,” she belched, ”you macho pig.”
Thus back and forth their spat ensued,
When crudely boasted drunken dude.

“One manly thing you must agree,
Higher than you, a man can pee.”
“I’ll tell you what,” she poked his chest.
“Let’s go out back and see who’s best.”

'Tween tipsied pair I've been viewing,
A pissing match is surely brewing.
I have no clue how she’d compete,
But truly has my int’rest piqued.

Hence, I followed to alley way
To sneak a peek and watch the fray.
“I'm first," she said, "you puffed-up creep.
Now step aside, then watch and weep.”

Hell bent to end their sexist wars,
She lifted skirt and dropped her drawers.
Then arching back she wet the wall;
Whizzed half as high as he was tall.

“Beat that, you twit, as you can see
I’d managed quite a lofty pee.”
“Ha ha, not bad for ditsy blonde,
Now comes the champ with wicked wand.”

But as he pulled his weapon out
And aimed it high about to spout,
She tapped his arm and said so sweet:
“Uh, ah-h— like me: no hands, can't cheat.”

His manly pride just hung exposed.
Nary an inch his pistol hosed.
“Oh well," she smirked, "looks like you lose,”
And left him mute with soggy shoes.

PopeAlessandrosXVIII · Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:06 pm Post subject: Sis Post

Sis: OMFG yes! Power to her!

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA

Ha-ha! That's pretty good. :-D

Guest · Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:21 pm Post subject:

AHaha that's funny!

Thunderbird · Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:26 pm Post subject:

Oh YES that was HILLARIOUS! And it was an excellent example of a great many things D was discussing in his earlier crit too.

Also goes to show that we can be very direct with poetry, using very little 'speaking between the lines' and still be quite successful with it.

Smee · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK

In comment to a BBC news article about declining spelling skills amongst young British workers someone copied in this little poem which amused me.

Beware the dangers of a spell checker!

Eye have a spelling chequer,
It came with my Pea Sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss Steaks I can knot sea.

Eye strike the quays and type a whirred
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am write oar wrong
It tells me straight a weigh.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your shore real glad two no.
Its vary polished in its weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.

:lol:

Thunderbird · Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 8:57 am Post subject:

:P

Oh mai gawd that's grate stuph!

Lilith · Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:43 pm Post subject:

Teehee - the first one got a gigglesnarf from me and the second one made my eyes want to bleed as they stumbled over the language going.. what?! This makes no sense! AHH!!

Nice going Smee.

Vikas Muralidharan · Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Posts: 600

The gender thing was funny but the spell check one was just...crazy!! :O

Tatkret Sos · Joined: 10 Nov 2009 Posts: 74 Location: UK

Oh my god the first ones great :lol: LMAO!!!

Cyberworm · Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 9:54 am Post subject:

GAHAHAHAHA!!! OMG! Smee, I think you deserve 2 legends for this thread! And if nobody objects, I shall award them! :D