City of IF

[Vikas Muralidharan]

MAJOR BUMP: Ok, thanks to our mayor kkdestiny, this SG has been resurrected. There are parts of the writing that Im slightly embarrassed about, considering its 4 years old, but Ive decided to leave it as it is.

MAJOR bump. Looking forward to new readers, suggestions and votes :)


WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.





As he rolled down the dusty path, Ahmed once again considered the possibility of living in an Anti-Islamic world. Or country at least.

The country he called home had never been to kind to him. It was either because he had a big mouth and didn’t know what to say where or it was because he was a Muslim.

He managed to stop rolling and sit up. The cloud of dust that puffed up in front of him was preventing him from observing what was directly ahead of him. He took a minute to pay attention to the bruises and scars that covered half his body now. There was nothing he could do about them anyway.

The dust had cleared and directly ahead of him, a few blocks away, stood one of the most famous mausoleums in the world. The symbol of beauty and eternal love, The Taj Mahal.

Ahmed sighed as he looked at the splendid white marble again. He had seen this building so many times from his hut some distance away and every time he looked at it, it looked better than the last time. Ahmed could also never forget the day that his parents had told him that most of the architecture, design and planning was done by Muslims. He swore under his breath. For the past few months, the thought of his parents only made him angry. He looked at The Taj again, and it looked better.

Built by the Emperor Shah Jahan in memory of his third (and speculated to be the most beautiful) wife, Mumtaz Mahal, the mausoleum was complete in 1643 and had used materials from all over Asia. The construction team included a thousand elephants.

Ahmed knew all of this and much more by-heart, and an opportunity to make some quick bucks showed up. He dusted himself and made his way quickly to the southern entrance of the Taj, only to be disappointed. Apparently, no one took unofficial tour guides.

Not yet feeling completely disheartened, Ahmed scrambled along with a bunch of tourists and managed to pick a pocket or two. The group’s tour guide was mentioning something about the “amazing Mughal architecture and culture” and paused to give the customary “Any Questions?” line.

Ahmed was quick to let his big mouth loose. He raised his hand and without waiting for his turn yelled “Isn’t their evidence that Shah Jahan slept with his daughters?!”.

DONE. Ahmed had just disgraced one of India’s most popular emperors and the man who had given the world one of its most beautiful buildings, in front of foreigners and Indians alike and all of them gave a gasp. He hadn’t even stopped to think that the emperor was a Muslim.

“You little bastard!” The tour guide screamed. Apparently, he had no qualms about making himself look like a fool either.

There was no chance of escape for Ahmed. Stuck in the middle of the bunch, he was ganged on and beaten by a group of enraged Indians which included the tour guide. The foreigners moved away to a corner only to return after hearing that 2 wallets with foreign bills had been found on him. And all along, a policeman was watching, apparently too lazy to help Ahmed.

The fact that he was a thief enraged the mob further. The world’s most beautiful building was witnessing an ugly scene. Somewhere from within the mob, Ahmed recognized the voice of his father, who apparently didn’t know who he was kicking at. A kick to the head helped Ahmed shake off the unpleasant memories.

The policeman and a few other tourists finally came to their senses to break off the mob, but once they heard what the boy had said, Ahmed was in trouble again. The policeman gave 2 whips to Ahmed with his lathi to gain sadistic pleasure and then broke the mob off and helped Ahmed to his feet.

Ahmed’s face was bruised and swollen beyond recognition and if his father hadn’t recognized him earlier, he wouldn’t stand a chance now.

Ahmed was literally lifted by the collar of his shirt and the gruff voice of the policeman behind him said “Let’s get you to interrogation”

*******

Throughout his journey, Ahmed had anger flowing through him for being denied medical attention. The fact that he was underage didn’t seem to bother the officers.

Now, in interrogation, Ahmed heard his first question.

“Full name?”

“Ahmed Shah Rehman”

“Father’s name?”

“Dead. I’m an orphan”

“Father’s… NAME?!”

“I don’t know!”

Then came the question that Ahmed was waiting for. “Muslim eh?!” In spite of rehearsing this scene so many times on platforms and inside train toilets, Ahmed couldn’t find the words. He simply nodded.

“So… what outfit are you from?”

A surge of anger passed right through Ahmed. He looked up at the dark black eyes of the Inspector. “The brotherhood of FUCK YOU!” he screamed.

Ahmed got a stinging slap in the face. “Look here, kid. I’ve got 6 unsolved cases that my department is breaking their backs on. 4 murders already and the city is in unrest… you must know that. I’ve got pressure from that bald headed minister to finish it off quickly. I could be making it much easier for my men and pushing it all on you, so you better behave”

Ahmed couldn’t keep quiet. “I may be uneducated, but I do know that you need to produce a person in the court in 24 hours after the arrest. And when you do that tomorrow, the judge is gonna see my messed up face. You could blame it on the mob, but you’ll have to answer for as to why I haven’t got medical treatment.”

“That just proves that you’re uneducated, my friend. There are no records to say that you’re arrested. I could just kill you here and no one would know.”

“What are you gonna do about those 4 murders then?!”

The inspector stared at him. “You asked for it”.

“I asked for medical treatment”

The inspector had no choice but to relent and take him to the nearest hospital, which was a few blocks away. On his way, Ahmed noticed the only chance of escape he had. The police “van” had been parked in the corner of a street to break off a street fight and the officers had all rushed to the scene. One of his hands was handcuffed to the window grill of the van and key of the handcuff had been dropped on the floor by one of the officers.

Ahmed couldn’t reach it.

He pushed himself and stretched towards the key before noticing another hand grabbing it. Ahmed looked up to notice a girl.

A Hindu girl.

“Im the only chance you have, come with me”.

“WHAT?! I’ve never seen you before!”

“Listen, I know you... trust me”

Ahmed always had issues with trusting strangers. Moreover, the girl was a Hindu, a religion that Ahmed was taught to hate. Yet, in these circumstances Ahmed needed her help badly. Images of Bollywood films and news reels flashed across his mind. In the glitzy film world and also sometimes in reality, it was not too uncommon to see policemen sending a hot girl to “rescue” a prisoner and then shooting the prisoner while he’s trying to get away. What happens next is that the murder is reported as “Fatally shot while trying to escape” and is hushed up.

His eyes met her eyes and he opened his mouth to announce his decision….
_________________________

DP….

[Thunderbird]

Not much time to read at the moment but if I miss this somehow (aka a couple days have gone by and I haven't posted) remind me in a pm or just bump the thread and I'll come back ;)

[Vishal Muralidharan]

I like it :D

Seemed to proceed a bit fast towards the end, but I still liked it. And as for the DP, one half says to go and try escaping with the girl, but we know the cheap tricks policemen use to kill off people they don't like. Also, since he's been thought to hate Hindu's since childhood, that will be playing on his mind.

We might want to stick with the police and get the medical treatment, instead of possibly being shot. If the girl knows us and genuinely wants to help, she'll come back to us.

Stay with the law as much as we can, unless it'll get you killed. :D

[Thunderbird]

Best writing we've seen from you yet Vikas! Very well edited. Could use some stylizing but it was clear an concise and that helps a lot. Really enjoyed your main character too... poor kid's having a rough day but he does have a way of inviting it on himself.

Quote: A surge of anger passed right through Ahmed. He looked up at the dark black eyes of the Inspector. “The brotherhood of FUCK YOU!” he screamed.
If I could find out where to sign up I'd be a card carrying member myself. :lol: Loved this line!

As for the DP, go ahead. Getting shot might be a relief about now anyhow. And if he doesn't, well, there IS a hot hindi girl in the deal so that's worth some risk, and escape certainly seems more than appealing right about now.

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Ah.. Im loving this..

Thanks TBird...

A dispute to start of with. Start the debate, guys!!!

[PopeAlessandrosXVIII]

I agree with Thunder-sama. Best writtings from you thus far!

I spent half of this giggleing and wondering if our hero has a death wish. Seems like he wakes up every morning thinking 'And just how many people in how many ways can I piss off people today to get the max amount of damage that won't kill me straight off.' Makes me wanna smack him a few times myself, but in a good way!

The chapter did seem a little rushed, but for me it's mostly the lack of descriptiveness. I have NO idea what our hero looks like, or anyone else for that matter. You say 'Hindi Girl' and a basic outline of a chick with a red dot on her forehead appears in the back of my mind. You neeeeeed to give us more as far as what this place and these people look like. Would really help a LOT.

As for the DP.....*Goes evil* Grab tight hold of the girl and scream to the officer that she's trying to free you. Make sure to get a good hold on her hand so she can't drop the key. :lol: :lol:

Very nice, keep it up!

[Vishal Muralidharan]

Why does everyone think he said "Hindi"? Hindi is a language. HindU with the "u" is a religion. The girl is a Hindu girl, and she might not even know Hindi.

For example, many of my friends are Hindu and they can't speak, read or write Hindi.

Sorry, I just had to say. I love Pope's DP choice btw, but I don't think we want to get someone who's trying to help us into trouble.

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Firstly, Thanks Vishal for straightening that out.

Secondly, thank you Pope. Im glad you liked it.


PopeAlessandrosXVIII wrote: I have NO idea what our hero looks like, or anyone else for that matter. You say 'Hindi Girl' and a basic outline of a chick with a red dot on her forehead appears in the back of my mind. You neeeeeed to give us more as far as what this place and these people look like. Would really help a LOT.


Those details come in the next chapter (I hope). If the poll goes the other way, you'll have to wait ;)

[Novelest_Ninjagirl]

Since I only just got back- and thus haven't read anything else you have- I can't say for sure whether or not this is your best writing but, it is indeed damn good writing. As has been said, could use a little more description, but even without it it was still exciting enough to snap me out of my sleepy daze! (I just got up after getting less than half the amount of sleep Im used to, and let me tell you, it being able to wake me up is SOMETHING.) I can't wait to read more!
Now, as for the dp... Hm. I'd have to say he accepts and goes with her- but pickpockets the key and at the first chance handcuffs her(either to him or something else) in order to get an explanation. ^^

[Thunderbird]

wow... a HUGE Welcome Back NoNi!!! Nice to see ya back on IF :)

Ok, ok, sorry Vishal... I'm not from India so I was not aware. If you say Cactu, you'd be wrong for indicating multiple cactus plants. Instead, you'd say Cacti. Thus my assumption would've been Hind'i' but I seem to be entirely off base on my presumptions there and I appreciate you sorting it out.

[Vishal Muralidharan]

Thunderbird wrote:
Ok, ok, sorry Vishal... I'm not from India so I was not aware. If you say Cactu, you'd be wrong for indicating multiple cactus plants. Instead, you'd say Cacti. Thus my assumption would've been Hind'i' but I seem to be entirely off base on my presumptions there and I appreciate you sorting it out.

Eh..? Did my post come out as rude?! :O

Plural form for "Hindu" is just "Hindus", and Hindi is just a language.

I understand it can be confusing, but we just need to be clear. Since the story is set in India, we might have both terms appearing constantly, and Vikas probably doesn't want confusion.

[Thunderbird]

Vishal Muralidharan wrote: Thunderbird wrote:
Ok, ok, sorry Vishal... I'm not from India so I was not aware. If you say Cactu, you'd be wrong for indicating multiple cactus plants. Instead, you'd say Cacti. Thus my assumption would've been Hind'i' but I seem to be entirely off base on my presumptions there and I appreciate you sorting it out.

Eh..? Did my post come out as rude?! :O

Plural form for "Hindu" is just "Hindus", and Hindi is just a language.

I understand it can be confusing, but we just need to be clear. Since the story is set in India, we might have both terms appearing constantly, and Vikas probably doesn't want confusion.
Rude? No... sounded a bit irritated perhaps but not rude. I think it was good to point out the difference, something I've never been too clear on. But then... we don't get too many Hindu peoples over here in the states (well maybe there are but they stick to their own usually so you never get much of an opportunity to get to know them usually. I did meet one Hindu and really liked them but sadly, just not many here.)

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Eh... Is that solved yet?! :P

[Vikas Muralidharan]

**waiting for more readers**

[Vikas Muralidharan]

POLLING!!!! Get your Votes in!!!!

[Thunderbird]

Voted and winning :lol:

[Vishal Muralidharan]

*bumps thread*

Y'all might have been busy, but two votes just isn't enough, especially if its a tie :lol:

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Okay... Im REALLY gonna need another vote here....

[Whisperer]

I am NOT into romance stories, but how can you pass up a story called "Hate" in the romance section.

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Whisperer wrote: I am NOT into romance stories, but how can you pass up a story called "Hate" in the romance section.

This is not really a romace story. This forum is for "any relationships". People tend to mistake it for the romance section.

POLL CLOSED!!! The new chapter might take some time though... having RL issues

[PopeAlessandrosXVIII]

Yay! My thought won! *Dances*

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Im really sorry about the delay but I was having a nice time in China. :cool:

I'll be back with a chapter in a few days

[Tikanni Corazon]

Just read through this, Vikas, and I'm liking it, and looking forward to the next chappie. :)


Just thought I would mention the layout is a little bunched together, and would benefit from having 2 spaces between each paragraph, but that's a small thing, and one that I have been guilty of myself in the past. ;)


Keep up the good work!

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Thank you, Tikki :)

Yeah, The next chapters almost done so you've put in the part about spacing JUST in time...

Should be up by tonight (IST)

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Chapt 2

"Help" he said.

It was a slight sound, a sound that barely anyone other than the two could hear, but the magnitude of it was such that the girl's expression changed into a quizzical one.

"Oh...kay" she said as she moved towards Ahmed to help him with the handcuffs.

In a swift movement, Ahmed grabbed her hand and pulled her into the vehicle with his free left hand. A kick to the face left her stunned and Ahmed started screaming “INSPECTOR!!!! This lady’s tryina free me!!!”

The inspector was still busy with the mob and didn’t hear him. Ahmed tried again, with no luck.

He squirmed in his seat, trying to get closer to the door but a crashing blow to his cheek from behind him diverted his attention.

“YOU BASTARD!!” the woman screamed. “Are you fucking trying to get yourself killed?!”

“No. Precisely the reason I’m not trying to escape from the police.”

The woman grimaced. “They’ll probably kill your ass if you stay with them… The hot girl-encounter technique is OLD. You need to trust me”

“WHY would I?! You’re a Hindu and Im a Muslim. You could be here to kill me for all I know!”

The woman punched him square in the face, causing a nose-bleed.

“OUCH!!!!”

The police were still talking with the members of the 2 mobs and to eye witnesses and were writing down reports. The inspector, however, heard this scream. “Gopal!” he called out to the dozen officers behind him.

The dark skinned, 7 feet , 250 pound Gopal walked up. “Check on the prisoner”

Gopal nodded and turned around walking at a steady pace towards the van. Some distance away, Ahmed and the girl saw the huge officer walking their way. “Fuck… quick, hide under the seat” Ahmed muttered.

The girl went under the seat just in time, as the round face of Gopal popped in. Ahmed instinctively moved himself directly over the girl and blocked her from Gopal’s view with his legs.

Gopal stared at Ahmed’s face. “How the fuck did you do that to yourself, being handcuffed like that?!”

“One of my arms are free, remember?! I figured that if you are gonna pay for my medical treatment for all these bruises, cuts and blood clots, I might as well make you pay a little more.”

“We’re not gonna pay for your treatment… who the fuck told you that?!”

“Well, if I tell them that you punched me, you will have to pay right?!” Ahmed grinned as blood oozed from his nose and fell on his pant. “Damn!” he said. “Looks like I have a crotch-bleed too!”

The girl almost burst out laughing from under the seat but the sound of her giggles was masked by Gopal’s laughter.

“You are one crazy motherfucker, you know that?!” Gopal said. “Let me check the first aid kit”

Ahmed was puzzled as to why they couldn’t use the first aid kit on him for all the bruises and not just the nose bleed, but brushed off the thought after the pain returned, reminding him of the severity of the other injuries. Ahmed was pretty sure he couldn’t walk even if he was not handcuffed. Gopal was using his walkie talkie to inform the inspector about the condition. The inspector showed no signs of returning to the van and Ahmed sighed.

Gopal was bending over the first aid kit and jumped back as soon as a mouse leaped from the box and ran out of the vehicle. Good thing they didn’t want to use the first aid kit on all my bruises

Gopal quickly went back towards the first aid kit, ignoring the gasp Ahmed made and saying “It’s common here. Nothing wrong with the medicines.”

Ahmed had gasped for a different reason. Evidently the girl had moved under the seat and jumped out around the same time Gopal had moved back to the first aid kit. She had a piece of torn saree in her hand. She swiftly moved towards Gopal and covered his mouth with the piece of cloth and delivered a good, hard kick right in between Gopal’s legs.

The 7-footer was brought down to his knees. The girl punched Gopal a few times before grabbing his gun and training it on him. She tossed the keys to the handcuffs to Ahmed and Ahmed was quick to get himself free. The girl tore a bit more of her saree and used the cloth to “secure” Gopal’s wrists, legs and mouth.

Ahmed pocketed the handcuffs and the keys, should they come to use later. He still didn’t trust the girl.

“Let’s get out of here”

Ahmed and the girl looked out the window. The discussion had moved on to physical alteration and The police were busy lathi-charging.

Lucky. Ahmed and the girl jumped out of the van and moved away quickly. The narrow road almost gave them no chance for escape though and it was only a matter of time before they were spotted.

“HEY!” the deep voice of the inspector rang out. He called for backup to deal with the mobs and took out his gun.

Ahmed and the girl jumped, narrowly avoiding a bullet that whizzed past Ahmed as he took the jump. The girl pushed Ahmed into an HM Ambassador car parked on the street and jumped in. A Muslim was behind the wheel and he started driving as fast as he could.

Ahmed, at the back seat was confused. How could Muslims and Hindus be working together?!

“Salaam Alaikum” the driver muttered. To his surprise, Ahmed was not the only one who responded with a “Walaikum Salaam”.

Ahmed stared at the girl. “My name is Adawiyah” she said. “Praise be on Allah. I had to present myself as a Hindu. Omar’s orders… Sorry” Adwaiyah pointed at the driver. “He’s Abdul Azeez”

Abdul steered the vehicle expertly through the gaps. He would have broken about a million traffic laws, but with a police vehicle chasing you and firing bullets at you, that hardly seemed to matter.

Ahmed, ducked and braced himself for crashes. Abdul laughed. “Don’t worry sahib!!”

Abdul took every first turn he saw and went into the narrowest of streets but the police van behind them did not give up. The shooting had stopped but the van was closing the gap fast. Adawiyah took out Gopal’s gun and fired at the van’s wheels, hitting the target and throwing the van off course. The government now had to pay for the medical expenses of a whole family, heavily injured in an accident.

Abdul finally slowed down on a road in the middle of nowhere. The car stopped and Abdul turned around.

“Hospital or Omar?! You’re choice…”

________________________________________

Seems like a lame DP, but believe me, it’s a very important decision.

[Vishal Muralidharan]

Omar. I have a feeling he'sa criminal, and he should be able to help us with our injuries too.

[Thunderbird]

Definately liked the chapter quite a bit there Vikas! Now... is Omar a person or a place? How bad is our need for a hospital at the moment? I'm thinking Omar would be our answer - we've been on our feet moving about so I presume we're not needing the hospital (and we're probably not wanting to be around any further 'official' types at the moment).

[Vishal Muralidharan]

Thunderbird wrote: Now... is Omar a person or a place?

Quote: “My name is Adawiyah” she said. “Praise be on Allah. I had to present myself as a Hindu. Omar’s orders… Sorry”

Definitely a person. :lol:

[Thunderbird]

Thanks for pointing that out Vishal... tis such an easily overlooked detail when not scouring for devils ;)

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Thanks guys!! Now, I really need more people here, don't I?! :/

[Andolyn]

LOVING it, Vikas!! and i'm definitely going to say Omar...he seems to know who we are...so why not find out who he is? veeerry intriguing. ;)

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Thanks An.. Now, Im thinking whether I should have a poll or not. Either way, the next DP is gonna be fun :P

[Vikas Muralidharan]

"Omar" Ahmed said.

Abdul gave a stiff nod and blasted ahead, continuing to drive like a racer. Ahmed held on tightly to the handle till he adjusted to the speed.

Ahmed sighed. He would have never, in his wildest dreams, imagined that this would happen to him. As he thought about the past 2 days, his thoughts also went back to his father. He grimaced. He hated his father. Much more than he hated his mother. Ahmed's hatred for his parents would perplex anyone but him. Ahmed quickly shut the memories from his brain and focussed on his body.

The pain in his legs had slowly returned and was killing him now. Fucked up Hindu cops. The adrenaline rush in the emphatic car chases had made him forget the pain. Ahmed looked down at his legs. There was a deep cut, starting from above his ankle, that extended all the way up to his knee. Ahmed realized how much blood he had lost and suddenly felt exhausted.

"Forget the pain" he muttered to himself. The car was moving slowly and Ahmed took this oppurtunity to assess his two companions carefully. He looked at Adawiyah's face thorugh the rear view mirror. She had an angelic face, a fair tone and absolutely beautiful eyes. Ahmed immeadiately longed to see her smile. It was not too easy to see an absolutely religious muslim girl's face. They always had them covered up and this experience was far beyond exciting for Ahmed. Whether, he just wanted her body or whether the feeling he had was pure, he could not say.

"Lust is a crime" says his religion. Yet, Ahmed couldn't help feeling awe-struck by Adawiyah's face and her body. With great difficulty, Ahmed turned to look at Abdul.

Abdul, wearing a muscle shirt that exposed his large biceps. He had a face that made it seem like he was pissed off all the time. Ahmed wondered whether he ever smiled. Yet, The tense look on his face and the high speeds at which he was driving gave Ahmed the chills.

The look brought Ahmed back to a question that he had had in the back of his mind for a long time. Who the fuck is Omar and how the fuck does he know me?"

Was Omar a drug-dealer? Or maybe one of those dreaded Naxalites? Or was he a terrorist? Or maybe he wasn't a criminal at all? No, ofcourse he is

The fact that these guys seemed dead serious and were obviously very skilled and trained only intrigued Ahmed more. Why had he never heard of an Omar as a criminal if he was such a big deal? The more he thought about it, the probability of Omar being the person's name seemed less likely. After all, Omar was a word which meant "highest". Ahmed started thinking that the word was being used in this sense.

And anyway, why would someone he had never heard of send two people to rescue him from the police?

Ahmed's thoughts were cut short by a loud screeching halt and his inertia that hurled him forward and caused another nose-bleed. Ahmed gently pushed himself from the dashboard and looked at Abdul. "What the hell was that for?"

Abdul gently grabbed Ahmed by his shirt and threw him to the back seat. Adawiyah turned around with 2 pieces of torn saree and tossed them to Ahmed. "Here" she said. "Wipe that blood off your face and blindfold yourself"

A still lust-struck Ahmed took one of the pieces and cleaned his face. The sudden movement was causing him unbearable pain. Slowly, he looked out of the car for the first time. He was surrounded by a rocky hill and realized that he was entering a cave. It struck him that he was somewhere in the The Western Ghats

Ahmed had no time to carefully analyze his surroundings though. The muscular frame of Abdul quickly reached back and grabbed the remaining pice of cloth. Using his muscle Ahmed tied the cloth as tightly as possible, to the extent it hurt.

"Brace yourself" he said.

The car blasted through the road and Ahmed managed to hang on to his seat. Ahmed now realized the speed at which the car was travelling at. Ahmed, though having a lot on his mind, began feeling the tension rise. He was close. Close to the answer.

Ahmed patiently waited for this journey to end. The speed car was just phenomenal. Too high for an HM Ambassador. There were hardly any turns and Ahmed hoped there wouldn't be any. His already hurting leg was beginning to deteriorate and Ahmed hoped that The Omar would have some medical facilities.

The car began to slow down and reach normal speeds. It was evident that they were really close now. Ahmed couldn't wait any longer. He first needed to thank Omar, Adawiyah and Abdul for rescuing him. Then, he had to find out who Omar actually was.

The car reached minimal speeds and stopped. Ahmed felt the strong fingers of Abdul undoing the blindfold. With Abdul and Adawiyah's help, Ahmed slowly exited the car.

A short man with a Fu-Manchu greeted Ahmed. His loose khakhi shirt hardly fitted him and it took some time for him to get his arm up.

"Greeting saab. You shall see Omar in a few minutes. He would be delighted to have you join us".

Ahmed blinked. "Umm... Who IS Omar anyway? What does he do?"

The question was met with a stunned look from the short man. "Y-you... You dont know?" he stammered. "Well, Omar is..."
_________________

BIG METADP: Who is Omar?! Is he a terrorist, a drug dealer, a seperatist, a Naxalite or what?!

Be sensible, please ;)

Depending on what you say he is, there'll be a different backstory, so.... yeah

[Thunderbird]

NICE! Another one I was looking forward to the next chapter on... again... will be back to read as soon as I can.

[Andolyn]

hmm...i'm going to say he's a separatist...really loved this, Vikas!! i was intrigued by your differentiation between love and lust. not too many people (especially at your age) realize that. it was impressive. =) i want to know more about the girl. and this Omar character has captured my attention as well...we shall see where this goes. keep it up!

[Vishal Muralidharan]

Welll, frankly, I think the first two chapters were WAYY better. This was still a good chapter, brought out the info nicely, but !i! got darn frustrated once again with the pace. I know for a fact, (though others may have guessed) that you didn't spend enough time editing this, not as much time you spent on the first two. Still a good chapter, take nothing away from that.

I'm saying he's one of those Maoists (Naxalites). Not only is it damn powerful, but its also damn scary if you let them spread their tentacles into the Western Ghats. That'll give em power over the south, and they could knock on our doors once. o.O He could also be a cop, who's pretending to be a terrorist, and trying to take an organization down (yeah.. Billa :P).

Also.. Quote: i was intrigued by your differentiation between love and lust. not too many people (especially at your age) realize that.

We're awesome :cool: :P

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Thanks An. Really appreciate your read and suggestions =)

God, I AM glad to have this up and running again.

And yeah, Vish... thanks for the awesome feedback :P And telling An that we're awesome. She should prolly know that by now ;)

[Andolyn]

Quote: We're awesome Cool Razz

i noticed. ;D

[Vishal Muralidharan]

I also have this idea. Make Omar an enemy, trying to capture us. Intro to the Antagonist :P

I wasn't serious when I thought of that, but it could make a good storyline, you know?! ;)

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Nominated for spotlight... Please vote for HATE :)

And Vish, taken into consideration... Waiting for a few more readers.. cmon.. *MAJOR BUMP*