City of IF

ethereal_fauna · Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA

Finally we are on our way. Diasis is well isolated, but a good relationship exists between the sea people and the Diasinians. The relationships with the people of the Mainland are sometimes shaky and tense, but the group desires to trade with the camps in the forests for needed supplies.

The time of the CalmSea is passing by quickly. Visiting Oekarakos first might save time on their journey. Once the high waves return Oekarakos will be more difficult to reach. Navigating the turbid surface waters poses immense danger. However, the nomadic Mainlanders are challenging to locate in the thick forests, and not all packs are friendly to the Diasinians. Even though the group must cut across the Mainland to reach the Unknown Realm, it might prove prudent to visit the friendly camps first while their location is known. Later the group can journey around the edge of the forest without searching for the camps. Should Asher take the party to Oekarakos in safety before MotherSea returns in glorious fury, or to the friendly camps of the Mainland before they move deeper into the dangerous woods to escape the foul weather brought on by the unleashed sea?

Chp4 Poll: Where does Asher lead the party first?
Visit the camps of the Mainland 2
Travel to the sea people in Oekarakos 8

Ravenwing · Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia

Okay to come back on to topic. Go visit the Oekarakos , I have a feeling that they may have some advice to give. Besides you can visit the Mainland people after you see the others. Or is that not a possibility?

ethereal_fauna · Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA

You're going to visit both peoples. There are advantages and disadvantages to the order that you visit. If you go to the Mainland first, it will be easier to locate the camps, but then you have to return to Diasis- go to Oekarakos- and then backtrack to the Mainland again. If you go to Oekarakos first, you avoid backtracking and also get to travel on calm seas. However, the camps on the Mainland will move, and you'll have to trek through the forest to track them down.

kingcappie · Guest

I think they should go to Oekarakos. They won't have to retrace any steps and can just go on there way if they go to the Mainland second. And since Oekarakos is on the bottom of the ocean they probable want to get there beore the waves get big.

Ravenwing · Guest Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia

Are we visiting both people at the same time? I am still supporting my first choice. Although we may have to search for the Mainland people that is better than battling the sea looking for the other.

ethereal_fauna · Guest Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA

No, you travel together. First visit one people, and then visit another. The readers have to choose which people get visited first. The story is affected by this choice.

Mordok · Guest

Mainland people are lame. I choose the sea peeps.

Muaddib · Guest Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765

i chose the sea as well.

D-Lotus · Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 11:44 pm Post subject:

Quote: See D, you're just too difficult to please...

Maybe it's not the faries that demoralize me into skimming through your chapters, but maybe it's the style of writing....

It's strange that I should feel no remorse at critizing your story so openly....I guess the answer to everything is that I'm picky with what I read, I have realized that most of the stories here at IF, including mine, are all much the same....

saxon215 · Guest

wow this place goees crazy

ethereal_fauna · Guest Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA

D-Lotus wrote: I guess the answer to everything is that I'm picky with what I read, I have realized that most of the stories here at IF, including mine, are all much the same....

The same in what manner? That we are not professional writers? That we write stories intended for posting online, rather than fully developed novels? That we write stories aimed at reader participation?

If you intend to critique my work make sure you don't lose me in the process.

When I read this after posting it I thought it sounded harsh, so I figured I should clarify some more. I am interested in your opinion, D. I'm not trying to make you angry or start some kind of flame war. While I adore reading that people like my work and enjoy my story, I think I can improve. If I can write in a manner that pleases even my critics, then the story will be better for everyone, including the readers that already like it. So that's why I asked all the questions above about the comment you made earlier.

D-Lotus · Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:01 pm Post subject:

For exMPLE: I read BSthe great's story, then myself's, and I thought, wow, these stories have basically the same plot, the same style, the same...everything.

Quote: The same in what manner? That we are not professional writers? That we write stories intended for posting online, rather than fully developed novels? That we write stories aimed at reader participation?

What are you talking about? These are the positive things!

Quote: If you intend to critique my work make sure you don't lose me in the process.

I guess I must not be very adept, but: What do you mean?

Quote: I am interested in your opinion, D

:lol:

Well, g'bye,

D-Lotus · Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 2:08 pm Post subject:

Ummm, ok, I want to apoligize for critizizing your story so harshly ethereal. And just to avoid danger, I think I'll avoid POSTING in this thread as well. That doesn't mean I won't read it though.

ethereal_fauna · Guest Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA

Oh, me and my story can handle the criticism. That's how things improve sometimes. I didn't actually think it was all that harsh.

Ravenwing · Guest Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia

I think it is good to read and critique stories that are different from your usual style. I have noticed that I love to write stories that have blood and revenge in them, but I enjoy reading other stories of self-discovery and whatever other themes authors put in their stories.

PoopOnYoop · Guest

nice story 1/2 mom

BStheGreat · Guest Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 262

No offense, but this story is getting kind of boring. Is there every going to be any killing? I guess a guy like me isn't really into fairies. Maybe if it were leprechauns fightingin a major battle against the fairies i would like it.

ethereal_fauna · Guest Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA

There's definately gonna be killings, eventually. Sheesh you people are impatient. I'm trying to create an overall society here. In fact a different world altogether. That takes time. I'll try to pick up the pace and add a little more action. Task masters 8)

BStheGreat · Guest Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 262

Well....

This is partly the voters fault, but I think that the decision to think over which path to choose was a waste of time. Nothing really happened that couldn't have happened in the chapter before that. It is written well, but I am not being drawn to read it. I personaly like to have at least a few killings a chapter to keep the blood craving readers interested.

Chainfire · Guest

PoopOnYoop wrote: nice story 1/2 mom
My mom, mine, mine. You can't have her. :lol:

Mordok · Guest

Eeeek! Run away. The Ethereal's are spawning. :D

ethereal_fauna · Guest Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA

We dont die, we multiply

Smee · Guest Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK

BStheGreat wrote: No offense, but this story is getting kind of boring. Is there every going to be any killing? I guess a guy like me isn't really into fairies. Maybe if it were leprechauns fightingin a major battle against the fairies i would like it.

BStheGreat wrote: Well....

This is partly the voters fault, but I think that the decision to think over which path to choose was a waste of time. Nothing really happened that couldn't have happened in the chapter before that. It is written well, but I am not being drawn [in] to read it. I personaly like to have at least a few killings a chapter to keep the blood craving readers interested.

Sorry for the intrusion Fauna - I'll be posting about your story very soon as I'm enjoying it. :)

ethereal_fauna · Guest Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA

You're not intruding at all.

ethereal_fauna · Guest Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA

BStheGreat wrote: Well....

This is partly the voters fault, but I think that the decision to think over which path to choose was a waste of time...

I don't think so. That option was suggested by a reader, so I added it to the chp1 poll. Initially I had envisioned Chakra's development in one of the magics, although Thinker seems favored by the readers. They opted to have her seek advice before committing to a specific path. That has shaped the way I write the story, which of course is the point of a storygame.

I'm attempting to appeal to a variety of readers. Killing, warriors and bloodlust are in alot of the stories (interesting and well written stories, I might add) already here at IF. I am adding action and adventure, to include conflict and killing in my upcoming chapters. But I also want to write in introspection, interpersonal relationships and maybe even (gasp) a little romantic interaction.

Heads up- whatever option the readers vote on in this poll, the next chapter ends the FairWeather season and CalmSea. Chp5 will be descriptive and further develop the overall image of the world Chakra lives in, whether we go to the Mainland or to Oekarakos.

Expect more conflict, action, and magical battles in chp6 (complete with violent and bloody descriptions for those who crave those graphic details). CalmSea is over and the harshness of the environment will return in full force. The ideallic little fairy island of Diasis is left behind and the real adventure starts.

I am excited about my storygame, involved with the characters and intrigued by the quest that they face. My wish is to convey that same excitement to my readers, those people playing along on this adventure.

And so ends my little speech.... :)

Smee · Guest Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK

I've voted for "Travel to the sea people in Oekarakos".

I have no desire to be out at sea when CalmSea finishes.

I'm enjoying the story, and don't mind waiting for action. A lot of the books I read and enjoy have large chunks of scene setting and background and I'm more than used to it.

Keep it coming. :D

BStheGreat · Guest Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 262

Smee wrote: BStheGreat wrote: No offense, but this story is getting kind of boring. Is there every going to be any killing? I guess a guy like me isn't really into fairies. Maybe if it were leprechauns fightingin a major battle against the fairies i would like it.

BStheGreat wrote: Well....

This is partly the voters fault, but I think that the decision to think over which path to choose was a waste of time. Nothing really happened that couldn't have happened in the chapter before that. It is written well, but I am not being drawn [in] to read it. I personaly like to have at least a few killings a chapter to keep the blood craving readers interested.

Sorry for the intrusion Fauna - I'll be posting about your story very soon as I'm enjoying it. :)

Well I have given up on perfection for everything else but my stories. That's how I intended it to be but people seem to want all my stuff to be perfect. So smee, slkdjgksfhdgkfdhgshdjfshdklgfshgakajfdhg. Perfection for my stories only for now o.n

Smee · Guest Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK

LOL - I claim victory. :D

BStheGreat · Guest Joined: 01 Jan 2005 Posts: 262

No, the competition has been voided and replaced, see the new one in the open forum.

Ravenwing · Guest Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia

BS, if you want to read a more entertaining story by Ethereal, I would suggest The Carver's Blossoms. Now that is bloody and violent, well at least the opening chapters. 8)