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Trailing Turquoise SG (Updated Version In Linear Lane Soon)
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2015 11:55 pm    Post subject: Trailing Turquoise SG (Updated Version In Linear Lane Soon)  

Chapter One


It was the rain that woke her.

She came to lying on moist wood, the sounds of the ocean drifting into her consciousness first. Slowly, as she adjusted to the individual feeling of her limbs, she sat up. She had been laying face down on what looked like a pier, crammed haphazardly between two buildings. Glancing around, she realized something terrifying. She was alone.

The knock at the door woke her with a start, and Elona sat up, shaking her head. The memories always seemed to seep in when she slept. Pushing to her feet with a sigh, Elona walked across the less than clean wooden floor of her inn room. Unlocking it, she opened the door to see the inn maid beaming up at her with a jug of water. Inviting steam curled up from it’s surface, and Elona stepped aside. She watched as the woman, still young enough to be fresh faced despite her rough job, pushed aside the aged folding screen that blocked the equally worn copper tub and poured the jug water carefully into it. Another inn worker, this one a man strong enough to carry two more pitchers, followed her in, poured the rest in, before leaving and returning with a final decanter of heated water. The inn maid took it, and with a plainly practiced smile, shifted her bland gaze to Elona.

“Well, miss, I’m just going to leave this here to keep warm til you rinse.”

Setting the last of the hot water next to the small stove used to heat the room she had rented, the inn maid led the worker out, and Elona shut the door behind them, locking it firmly. She had indulged and spent some of her very rare coin to purchase a bath, but when she’d arrived in her room she’d been too tired to wait up for it. Staring blankly into the water, Elona reached out and softly trailed her fingertips over the surface. A familiar tingling spread from the places where the water made contact with her skin, and Elona heaved a sigh.

“I don’t know why I ever expect anything else.” She murmured to herself, beginning to undress.

She placed the cloak, a deep green to blend into the forest that was her domain, within reach of the tub, before removing her outer tunic. Following it was her outer corset, and then the long sleeved shift she wore. Resting all of them on the bed next to her discarded weapons, she sat down to tug off her knee high boots. Elona took a moment to glance around, listening for anyone who might be heading towards her room, before reaching out and shifting the screen back to shield her from the door and window once she was seated. Satisfied that she was safe, Elona removed her breeches and underthings, before slowly sliding into the water. .

With every soft wave of the water crawling over her skin, it began to change. The supple, white flesh began to morph, and Elona watched, unable to take her eyes away no matter how many times she had seen it happen, as scales began to grow along her legs up to her waist. They were vivid in color, a deep blue green reminiscent of the sea swimming with algae, with an iridescent green sheen. Elona’s heart ached as she stared at them, reminded with every movement of the water that she was not, nor would she ever be, accepted amongst the humans. Not if they ever saw her this way, coated in scales like some sort of monster. For all she knew, that may very well be what she was.

Sighing and pushing those thoughts from her mind, Elona picked up the cloth provided, and began to carefully wash the grime of the forest off of herself. With each swipe of the wet cloth, more scales appeared. It took great concentration not to shred it, while they weren’t sharp, their shape did lead into a rounded point that could easily destroy the weak, well-used cloth of the inn. Despite the wariness of the dangers if she got caught, Elona relaxed into the warm water. She stretched out as much as the small tub allowed, delighting in the feeling. Even though she knew she should continue on to washing her hair, Elona found herself closing her eyes. Just a moment, just a moment to relax and just be. Just one moment.

The softest of footsteps alerted her to the presence of another. Her eyes snapped open, but the room was dark. Realizing the lantern must have burned down, Elona shifted a leg silently in the water, checking its temperature. Warm. No, the lantern had been unlit. All alarms ringing in her head now, Elona listened. Was there going to be another footstep? Had there even been a footstep, or was she imagining- no, no that was definitely the quiet hush of someone stepping softly. Shifting as slowly as she could so as not to make a noise, Elona struggled to listen for something else.

Rather than the soft footsteps she was expecting, she heard loud, thumping footsteps out in the hall. There was a chorus of outraged voices, and for a moment, Elona thought they had figured her out. The window had been firmly covered, she’d never unlocked it or opened the curtains, so how had they found her out? As she heard the scuffle of someone darting away from the door, Elona realized that whoever they were looking for was hiding in her room. Worse yet, without the light, she couldn’t remember where she had put her cloak.

She was stuck, half submerged in water, half scaled over, and completely naked, and there was some sort of runaway vagabond hiding in her room, putting both of them in danger. Lovely. Running her hands through her hair as silently as she could manage, Elona frantically fought for clear thought. What was she supposed to do? Who was even in her room with her?



~~*~~~*~~~*~~

So, not the longest chapter to start with, but I promise they'll get longer. The DP should be fairly obvious: What does Elona do?
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Vishal Muralidharan



Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Posts: 864
Location: City Of IF!

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 10:43 am    Post subject:  

Wow, that's quite a sticky situation that she's in. My initial reaction was to stay inside and stay quiet, and probably hide behind the door or something so you can ambush anyone who walks into the room. We should be safe, considering that the room is locked, but the house has been broken into, so there's really no telling.

However, we really don't know that it is us that the person is after. If I were just a regular robber, and I'd broken into a house, I'd probably run the hell away if I see a monster in it. It'd be incredibly dumb if we're just going to sit in silence and hide while our place is being robbed.

Either way, I'd vote for being cautious right now. We don't know what this person is after, we don't know if they're armed or not. The only thing we can be sure of is that they aren't here to make friends, else there'd be no imaginable need to break into our place. And when physical danger is imminent, it's always better to err on the safer side. So stay where you are, and if possible, try contacting authorities. If we can't do that, lay low till things seem to calm down before walking out to check.
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 11:10 am    Post subject:  

Hm, I guess I wasn't clear enough- she's renting a room in a tavern, and the person is still in that room. I'll scan and see if I can edit anything to be a bit clearer on that. Aside from that, your suggestion is definitely noted!
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Vishal Muralidharan



Joined: 24 Aug 2010
Posts: 864
Location: City Of IF!

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 11:15 am    Post subject:  

Huh. Okay, that means that the person is probably in here for us, but that doesn't change my actual suggestion. Your writing was all good, I guess I didn't read it well enough lol xP
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Sapphire_Rayne



Joined: 17 Sep 2015
Posts: 38

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 11:26 am    Post subject:  

Alright, first off I love the way you started this! The first sentence made me wonder, and that makes me read more! I'm also a sucker for descriptions, though you know that xP

Maybe she should quietly try and find the cloak? Considering it's somewhere near the tub, it wouldn't be too far from her reach and she could feel around for it, to try and dry off - it was said she wouldn't be accepted if seen in such a way. Who knows who or what that person is? Not to mention those voices and loud footsteps in the hall - people might come barging in!

Though she could also stay in the tub, as she moved the privacy screen back - therefore if anyone did barge into where she was she would be shielded from prying eyes. . . At least a little bit. She could even play the offended woman if she covers herself with the cloak - even if she is in the tub. She could throw it over where her scales are and hide under it. Though I don't know, having a cloak in a tub is kind of strange so maybe not.

That's all I have for now. ^^;;
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kkdestiny



Joined: 05 Oct 2010
Posts: 674
Location: The Library of Interfable History

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 12:27 pm    Post subject:  

I believe she's just renting a room, and the person is in her room because the light wasn't on and he thought it was empty. He's just hiding?

Anyways, You know my comments from last night :)

Still a good read btw, and I like that we get an idea of what she might be, but it's told in a way to still be vague and not outright saying it right off the bat.

You might want to go through for spelling, as I picked up a word last night but *shrug* Its just as easily ignored, I think and does't stop the flow too much. (I cant really say much on the spelling frontier anyways XD)

As for DP...I really want to know who's in the room....but my cautious side would have me just sit there quietly and wait to see what happens.
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Lilith



Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 1597
Location: Happily curled up in a Daemon's lap

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 5:09 pm    Post subject:  

A solid start so far Noni. And don't worry about length. As long as your chapters are clear and make sense, no one is going to raz you about length. As for what Elona should do, haul her naked self out of that damn tub and wrap up in a towel or her cloak as quickly as possible, grabbing a weapon and search for a way to re-light her lamp. Startle whoever it is out of hiding.
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 5:30 pm    Post subject:  

Nice to see there's some people who aren't in the 'sit in the bathtub forever' camp! And I appreciate the reassurance on the length.

Probably just gonna wait on one or two more people, and then I'll put up a poll. Can't wait to see what else you guys have up your sleeves for this one!
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themightyzan



Joined: 18 Sep 2015
Posts: 57
Location: TN

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 7:33 pm    Post subject:  

Ooo I like this start!

I definitely think she should go and check to see who was there. Sitting in the tub won't help. Naked or not, maybe she can grab something as a makeshift weapon?
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Adryrn



Joined: 16 Sep 2015
Posts: 22

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 7:37 pm    Post subject:  

(Halp, I have been lured in faster than I can introduce myself or read the rules o__o. I'll probably do it later? OP knows who I am and said I should post, at any rate.)

Anyway, I really liked the consistent wateriness of this piece (whether it's actual water like the bath, or in the language, like how her memories "seep in" while she sleeps). Also intrigued by her scales being sharp enough to potentially shred the hotel towel. The idea of a heroine that's hazardous to touch amuses me.

As for what she should do, I figure she should figure out who's in the room with her sooner rather than later. Possibly try to befriend it since she's already about as vulnerable as she can be so how much worse can it get? I kinda wonder if it's some sort of being in a similar position to her (shunned at least partly for being monstrous/nonhuman in some way), but without the money to pay for a room in a tavern. If she can do something to help it in this situation that could easily be far more dangerous for the intruder than anyone else involved, it would also then be in her debt/probably become her ally pretty quickly (though maybe reluctantly.)

Then again, maybe it's an armed intruder there specifically to kill her and she should make a dash for her weapons or hide or something. I tend to favor recklessness when I don't have enough information to feel like I can make a sound decision XD. And find it more entertaining in fiction.
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 8:18 pm    Post subject:  

Loving the suggestions guys! Andolyn said she was gonna check it out, so as soon as we have her suggestion I'll be putting the poll up. Thanks for reading!
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Andolyn



Joined: 18 Apr 2011
Posts: 852
Location: sitting barefoot in a tree in the beautiful land of Ardara, writing my tales...

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 9:09 pm    Post subject:  

LOOOOVING it! :D

You know me. I'm also going to say she gets out. If she knows the general area in which she threw the cloak, she could jump that way quickly and try to grab a weapon. I'm going to venture to say that this person hasn't realized she's there, so she's got the element of surprise.

The imagery of this tale is BEAUTIFUL. I love it! Can't wait to see more!
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2015 9:18 pm    Post subject:  

Alright, awesome to hear it! I'm giving it 20 minutes for any last minute suggestions, and then throwing up a poll.
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sagittaeri



Joined: 05 May 2012
Posts: 367

Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2015 7:13 am    Post subject:  


Voted!

The story is very intriguing and the writing is beautiful. I found that it had just the right mix of personality and imagery. :)

I voted for her to befriend the vagabond. Whoever they are, thanks to them, they're in this mess together now, and so they'll have to bail each other out!

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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2015 7:23 am    Post subject:  

Awesome! I'm gonna be gone most of today, so you guys have just over 24 hours left to vote before I close the poll!
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Seraphi



Joined: 25 Oct 2012
Posts: 503
Location: Penna, having a hot cup of tea

Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2015 6:40 pm    Post subject:  

Great start. Excited to see where this goes. I have voted and eagerly await more :3
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2015 8:43 pm    Post subject:  

Alrighty guys, in roughly 12 hours or so the poll is closing. Any last minute voters?
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Vikas Muralidharan



Joined: 29 Aug 2010
Posts: 600

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 8:39 am    Post subject:  

Read this a bit late.

Love your writing, and the imagery in this story! Definitely interested to see what happens next, but meanwhile, I have voted! :D
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misterbiz



Joined: 10 Jan 2010
Posts: 459
Location: a chair in a cold dark living room

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 12:42 pm    Post subject:  

I like it. Definitely curious about Elona. I've voted and am quite interested in seeing more.
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 2:20 pm    Post subject:  

Alrighty then guys, poll is closed!


Stay in the tub, laying low: 1 vote 8%

Haul herself out of the tub and look for a weapon: 3 votes 25 % **

Haul herself out of the tub and look for a way to light the lantern: 2 votes 16%

Try to befriend the intruder: 2 votes 16%

See who’s there, grabbing for weapons: 1 vote 8%

Try to startle the intruder: 2 votes 16%

Try to find the cloak: 1 vote 8%
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HalfEmptyHero



Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 342
Location: Where rolls the Oregon, and hears no sound

Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2015 10:32 pm    Post subject:  

Well, I missed the pole but I probably would have chosen the same thing anyways.
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Cyberworm



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Posts: 651
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2015 1:14 pm    Post subject:  

I am sorry to be late for the poll, but I probably would've voted to get a weapon and hustle.

Overall it's a good, vague prologue with much potential for story divergence. I like it muchly. There are a few sentences and spelling quirks I would've written differently, but now my mind is too tired to formulate a good sentence. I can say, however, that this is a very well written chapter.

Keep on rolling, stone!
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 1:59 am    Post subject:  

Chapter Two

He was in so much trouble. There wasn’t any denying that, even if he hadn’t started off doing anything to deserve it. Yet, despite having done absolutely nothing wrong, when he’d heard the alarms go off, he’d jumped through the nearest window and started to hide. That’s not strictly true, Sionn reminded himself as he debated his options. You broke into the window you jumped too, which was on the… second floor? There were probably closer ones, open ones. No, you pick the one that would actually mean you were doing something wrong. And snuffing the lantern didn’t help. After the footsteps in the hall had passed, Sionn was ready to turn the dimly lit lantern back on, but as he reached for it, his ears twitched. It was soft, barely perceptible, but Sionn had heard the gentle whoosh of slow water movement. Stiffening, Sionn began to panic. You picked the occupied room. You are in soooooo much trouble.

Holding himself perfectly still, Sionn’s gaze flickered around. The room was dark, but that didn’t keep him from seeing the clothes draped on the bed. Clothing he should have noticed when he first arrived in the room, but he had been too busy trying to get off the street. His gaze landed on the most incriminating piece of clothing in there. Only able to see a vague outline, he picked it up to be sure. A corset. Oh no, Sionn. You wandered into a woman's room! While she was bathing, if that water noise and these clothes are any indication. Humans are particular about that! Closing his eyes as he beat himself up, Sionn almost didn’t notice as the water noises drifted into his ears. They twitched again, and Sionn opened his eyes. Turning his head towards the corner of the room, he squinted to make out the shape. It was so much harder in this form. A screen? There was a few rustles, and a soft clank, but Sionn didn’t get very long to process those noises before the screen he was peering intently into whooshed away, and the figure in front of him swung something in his general direction.

He dodged with ease, hopping to the side. His vision, while only affording him general silhouettes, clear enough. Realizing he was still holding the corset, Sionn dropped it like it was on fire. “I-” He started to defend himself, but had to duck another swing. What was she even swinging at him? Keeping his voice hushed as he backed away, Sionn gave another attempt. “Wait, I-” She swung again, and this time he took a risk and tried catching it. Sionn felt the sting of the blow hit his hands, and though pain shot up his arm in a scatter of sparks, he closed his hands around the- Squinting, Sionn focused on what was in his hands. Iron poker. She’d grabbed a poker from somewhere, and started swinging it at him, without even waiting for an explanation!

Sionn beamed. This chick was outstanding. Still, best not to let her see him grinning like a fool. That would make her skeptical of his explanations. Wiping the infatuated smile off his face, Sionn tightened his grip on the poker as she tried to yank it away, no doubt to make another swing for his head. Sionn realized something as she moved closer, and he could see the vague outline of her face. She smelled really, really good, but he couldn’t place it. Still, she didn’t smell like any other human he’d encountered. Maybe he really should place a little trust in her. She’s already swinging a poker at me, how much more trouble can I get into? Gathering his courage with a deep breath, Sionn tugged on the poker to keep her from regaining control of it.

“Hey!” His tone was urgent, though the volume remained hushed. “I’m not a danger, I swear. I was trying to hunker down!” The figure stilled, and Sionn felt a rush of relief. Premature, surely, but at least she hadn’t instantly written him off. “Someone started screaming thief outside, and I knew I’d get blamed and panicked. I’m sorry, the light was dim, I didn’t realize this room was occupied.”

That was about the moment Sionn remembered what this woman had been- presumably- doing when he burst into her room. Bathing. Inwardly wincing, Sionn wondered, if he looked down, just how much he’d be able to make out. Clenching his jaw, he stared with determination into the contours of her face.

“You aren’t human, are you?”

Her voice was a shock. Literal fissures of exhilaration went skittering across his skin, and Sionn gaped open mouthed at her. Her. It was her. Stamping out the rush of giddy elation, Sionn fought hard to keep his voice normal as he replied.

“No, not really.” Sionn’s tone was no longer hesitant. He didn’t know very much about her, but he knew she was kind. Far too kind to hurt him.

Sionn was right, and the poker lowered. She retained her grip on it, showing she was still wary, and Sionn felt his heart beat quicker with pride. He let go, hoping to encourage trust, and took a step back, the tail sweeping eagerly behind him the only indicator of the joy he couldn’t suppress.

“I-” Sionn started, only to be interrupted.
“I understand the need to hide, so I won’t hold… this,” The silhouette waved her free hand in an expansive gesture, “against you, but you need to leave. I’m sorry.”

Sionn stared at her for a moment, open-mouthed in confusion. Finally, with a nervous swallow, he gave a nod. Backing up again, Sionn turned towards the window. There was a certain emptiness inside him, before he realized- he knew where she was. He knew what she looked like, she can’t have changed that much. He would find her tomorrow. Sionn pushed aside the curtains, and a sliver of moonlight drifted past him into the room. He paused for a moment, overcome with the desire to turn around, to see truly her for the first time since that fated meeting, but instead, he braced his foot against the windowsill and dropped out.

He landed silently in the alleyway between the Inn and the next building over, likely a tavern, and stuck close to the wall. His ears twitched again, as he listened to see if there was still a commotion in the streets. Things had calmed down, it seemed, and he slid along the wall, backwards, until he was facing a back street. Doing his best to calmly walk out, and shortening his stride in a way he hoped made him appear he belonged, Sionn walked along the dirt road. He wondered what it would feel like against his feet, but they were trapped in the boots his humanoid feet required.

Things were so much easier as a fox.

~~*~~~*~~~*~~



Alright, this time the DP isn't so obvious. What should Sionn do to try and run into her (As we know her, Elona.)
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themightyzan



Joined: 18 Sep 2015
Posts: 57
Location: TN

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 4:51 am    Post subject:  

Ah! I love this. I want to know more about this meeting of their's before and how he knows her but she doesn't seem to know him.

Very awesome. ^.^

As for the DP, maybe he should wait outside the inn in the morning and see if he can intercept her as she comes out? Accidentally of course. ^.^
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Andolyn



Joined: 18 Apr 2011
Posts: 852
Location: sitting barefoot in a tree in the beautiful land of Ardara, writing my tales...

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 9:41 am    Post subject:  

This is fantastic! I just wanna cuddle him! hahaha!

For the DP, I'm with Zan. Let's stick close to the inn. I'll go one step further, though, and say let's have breakfast there...because, you know, they probably have decent biscuits. ;)
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Seraphi



Joined: 25 Oct 2012
Posts: 503
Location: Penna, having a hot cup of tea

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 11:11 am    Post subject:  

Ooo, I didn't expect that, but I like it! I'm eager to see how it came to be that Sionn knows Elona, but she doesn't have a clue who he is (well, not in his human form anyway).

For the DP...let's wait at the market. Any town worth it's salt has a marketplace, and any adventurer worth theirs will check it for supplies before heading back out. It will be easier to blend into a crowd and seem much more accidental when he bumps into her.
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Cyberworm



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Posts: 651
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 11:39 am    Post subject:  

Agreed, the obvious solution is to stalk. :D

Well done, I quite like this chap and chapter. I'll be holding on the edge of my seat waiting for another. ^_^
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kkdestiny



Joined: 05 Oct 2010
Posts: 674
Location: The Library of Interfable History

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 12:41 pm    Post subject:  

Oooo, unexpected~

Still a nice read too

DP: I like the marketplace idea :) Maybe we could even get her a small apology gift.
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misterbiz



Joined: 10 Jan 2010
Posts: 459
Location: a chair in a cold dark living room

Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 10:17 pm    Post subject:  

I'm digging this. I really am. The attack with the firepoker amused me. I am quite curious as to their past.

As for the DP, I say, set up shop across from the inn and just wait for her to emerge. When she does, talk to her if courage allows....

and she's unarmed.
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 8:20 am    Post subject:  

I won't lie, it was the first weapon I thought of, and despite weighing all other options, the one that seemed the most fun. Glad you guys are enjoying it! Waiting to see if we can come up with a few more options before I put up the poll. Otherwise, it'll probably go up sometime late tomorrow.
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Adryrn



Joined: 16 Sep 2015
Posts: 22

Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2015 8:23 pm    Post subject:  

Heh. He’s impressed that she’s swinging a poker at him XD. I like waiting outside the inn better—sure, there’s going to be a marketplace, and Elona’s likely to stop there for supplies… but what if she doesn’t? A crowd would also make it easier to miss her if she did show up. Plus looking like more of an obvious stalker could lead to even funnier situations than this encounter >D. If he has money, it could be even funnier if he waits around and not only eats breakfast there, but also tries to buy Elona breakfast?
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Sapphire_Rayne



Joined: 17 Sep 2015
Posts: 38

Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2015 11:34 am    Post subject:  

Let me start with, I enjoyed this chapter! I love that we get to see more of Sionn's personality right in the beginning. Plus the flow of the chapter made me speed through it (I didn't skim anything, just fast read) and get sad when it was finished. I'm curious as to how he knows her. After all it said he recognized her scent, which means he recognizes her - so what has happened in the past that he somehow knows her? Can't wait for the next chapter to come up.

As for what he should do, now that's tricky. While I like the idea of waiting for her . . that might not be a great idea. He already ran off when he hadn't been in trouble out of fear that he'd be blamed, so what is to say that if he waits around a similar situation won't happen? And then he'd completely miss his chance. I'd say go about doing something, wandering, browsing shops for wares, eating, just something! If and when she leaves, he knows what she looks like so it shouldn't be too hard to spot her. I've always found it easier to find a familiar face in a sea of unknown ones after all.
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2015 7:36 pm    Post subject:  

Alrighty guys, looks like that's as many options as we're gonna get. I'm putting the poll up now, but since it's got so few options, I'm probably only gonna leave it up for 24 hours at the most.
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2015 8:27 pm    Post subject:  

So ModelP was having trouble getting his actual vote to submit, but he's broken our tie!

Wait outside the inn- 6 votes
Wander the Market- 5 votes.

Keep an eye out for that third chapter, it's on it's way!
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 1:09 am    Post subject:  

Just as a heads up, with the next chapter I'm going to be trying something a little experimental. I'm going to record a reading of the chapter (done by me, be gentle), and post it alongside. Aside from just a critique on the story and options for the dp, I would also like your opinions on the recording, from if you think it's a good idea, to if you have any complaints about it. Appreciate it and hope you enjoy! It should go up sometime tomorrow.
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Andolyn



Joined: 18 Apr 2011
Posts: 852
Location: sitting barefoot in a tree in the beautiful land of Ardara, writing my tales...

Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 7:35 am    Post subject:  

Dang it...I was hoping the chapter was up. hahaha!
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 6:28 pm    Post subject: Chapter Three  

((Link to audio file is on the bottom of the post))

Chapter Three

Elona hadn’t slept well, but nonetheless, when the sun rose that morning, she rose with it. Trying to forget the fact that she’d spent most of the night standing up and checking on the locked- but apparently easily unlocked- window, she gathered up her belongings. The herds would be moving, and if she dallied too long, she might miss them entirely. It was only when she was lacing her boots that Elona reflected on her odd visitor from the night before. He hadn’t seemed to mean her any harm, but had he truly only meant to use her room as a hiding place? Pulling on the laces overly hard, Elona thrust him from her mind. No matter who he had been, she had to leave, and it was better she was gone before she knew whether or not he could see in the dark what she had looked like. It was a blessing that when he’d let all that moonlight into the room, he hadn’t thought to look back.

He’d have seen far more than she’d ever allowed another, Elona considered, even aside from her scales. While reaching for her cloak, her hand had come across the poker left resting by the small stove the room sported, and Elona hadn’t thought beyond getting him out. Had she gone with more than just her instincts, she would have found her cloak as well, and only luck had kept her secret. Stop! She yelled at herself, pushing to her feet and slinging her bow over her shoulder. Spending all morning chewing over what had happened last night wouldn’t help her, and it certainly wouldn’t get her job done, or get her fed. Taking a determined breath, and moving her eyes in one last sweep over the room, Elona spun on her heel and strode towards the door. As she unlocked it, she palmed the key, quick steps taking her down the slim staircase.

The bottom floor of the modest but prosperous inn housed the connected tavern, and the check-in desk where the innkeeper currently stood. He was a plump man, the surest indication to Elona that his inn was profitable. While he seemed amiable enough, with his bright smile, the sign behind him denouncing those he didn’t allow within his inn’s walls belied his joviality. Swallowing the bile flowing in her mouth that she was reduced to interacting with him, Elona wished the forest town had possessed more than one inn. However, it did not, and she walked towards him at a determined pace, intent on paying up the remainder of her bill and being done with this place. As she handed over the key, Elona felt the prickle of someone’s gaze on her, and she flickered her eyes towards the tavern.

There was a gaggle of men, no doubt here solely for the tavern, who weren’t being shy about their prolonged stares. They were plainly trying to see underneath the hood of her cloak, but Elona merely shifted her head in a nod toward the innkeeper, obscuring her features.Their expressions had been those of drunken admiration, instead of suspicion, but Elona couldn’t afford any risks. Turning away, Elona kept her gaze on the floor as she headed for the door. Her palm was resting on it, ready to push, when another hand curled it’s eerily sausage-like fingers around her wrist. Struggling to maintain her bland expression, Elona raised her eyes to the bloodshot pair her ‘captor’ possessed. Keeping her voice icily level, Elona murmured,

“Yes?”

“It’s rude to sneak off so early, why not stick around a while?”

Relief was tempting, but Elona pushed it off. Just because it sounded more like a drunken attempt at flirting than an accusation that she wasn’t human and had bamboozled the racist innkeeper didn’t mean she wasn’t in some sort of trouble. As she remained perfectly still, debating her options, the portly drunkard began to tug her towards the bar. Gritting her teeth at his impetuous actions, Elona dug the heels of her boots into the wooden floor of the tavern. Coming to a stop, he turned and shot her a surprised look.

“I’m afraid I must be off, but I thank you for the invitation.”

A swift flick of her wrist deftly divested it of his grimy grip, and Elona swung around and pushed out into the dawn light before he could think to follow. Admittedly disturbed by the encounter, and running behind, she lengthened her stride, her feet eating up the distance between her and the town outskirts.

“Oh! Heh, I almost didn’t recognize you!”

Elona felt her heart slam to a stop in her ribs, and she found her feet coming to a halt despite herself, as she swung around. Sure enough, she was staring straight into an unfamiliar face- topped with twitching fox ears. The boy from last night. The moonlight had lit up his ears as he departed, and Elona had known exactly why he’d felt the urge to hide. He wasn’t human. Standing stock still, staring blankly at his beaming grin, Elona came to realize he was talking. To her, in fact.

“- and after all, considering how rude I accidentally was, I figured it was more than the right thing to do to track you down to apologize! Though, I guess I should apologize for just hanging around the inn until you left.”

“I- you- what?”

“I hung out outside the Inn, so I could see you again!” He sounded pleased with himself, excited even, and Elona just couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

“I thought- wasn’t it obvious that-... why?”

“Why?”

“Did you seek me out?”

There was a flicker of pain in his swirling amber eyes, and Elona felt stricken, but she shoved it aside. It was a reasonable question, considering the circumstances. In any normal world, he’d’ve tried to get as far away as possible from whoever had led that search for him last night, and yet he’d stayed close to the inn. Feeling her bow slipping off her shoulder, Elona reached to adjust it, reminded that she was losing the light.

“Nevermind, I need to head out. Apology accepted, I suppose. Just… Just don’t-”

“Can I come with you?”

Folding his hands behind his head, like he hadn’t just knocked the breath right out of her, the fox-boy gave a half-grin. Elona merely schooled her features to mask her shock. He seemed to completely lack self preservation, why on earth would he ask to accompany someone he’d never met? He couldn’t possibly even know where she was going, was he expecting her to protect him from the humans? How was she supposed to hide from him if it began to rain while she was hunting? Alarmed that the course her thoughts were going implied she was considering taking him along, Elona found herself refusing more harshly than intended.

“No, I’m going into the woods to hunt. Alone.”

~~*~~~*~~


((DP How does Sionn convince her to let him go along)

~~*~~~*~~

So I'm experimenting with doing audiobook style readings, and here's the one for this chapter
http://yourlisten.com/Novelest_Ninjagirl/trailing-turquoise-chapter-3


EDIT: new link above, no download required, should work a lot better. This is my first time doing this, so please be gentle! I hope it helps you guys read!
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Andolyn



Joined: 18 Apr 2011
Posts: 852
Location: sitting barefoot in a tree in the beautiful land of Ardara, writing my tales...

Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:11 pm    Post subject:  

LOVED this chapter. I really like Elona. I'm interested to learn more about her...and I still want to hug Sionn. XD

Being that I don't know much about him at this point, I'm not really sure what would be in character for him to do, but given what I've seen, he's VERY much wanting to go with her, and he'll do just about anything to stay near her.

I'm going to say let's have him begging her by telling her all the ways he can be helpful. He'd probably tag on that he'll follow her if she doesn't willingly take him. hahaha!

Loving it! Keep going!

Also, I couldn't get the audio to play. =(
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Novelest_Ninjagirl



Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 698
Location: The inn. Probably. Come check!

Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 10:44 pm    Post subject:  

Thanks Andi! I'm super glad you're enjoying it. Elona is turning out to be one of my favorite characters, and Sionn is so huggable, you have no idea.

I've found a site that should work for the audio, and updated the link, go ahead and give it a shot!
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Cyberworm



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Posts: 651
Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown.

Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 10:05 am    Post subject:  

All right, so I've listened through your chapter, and have to say you have a husky voice in training. xD I enjoyed it thoroughly, both the story and the reading.

My idea here is that he doesn't convince her at all. He should be mortally rejected and stricken. He doesn't need to come with her, really. Or her permission to, if she doesn't see him. Ha-ha! xD

I'd say he does what a fox does. Go with the flow, get rejected and either mop or go with her anyway. He's fox-like, he'll be fine.
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