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Muaddib
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 Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:17 am Post subject: |
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| I seem to have escaped the blacklist. Go Me!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:55 am Post subject: |
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| Muaddib wrote: | | I seem to have escaped the blacklist. Go Me! |
You are in team B Muaddib, better not celebrate just yet! 
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 8:02 am Post subject: |
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| Sorry Key, I did Eenie Meenie Mineiee....you were Moe.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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A three way tie again 
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 8:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Like I said-it was completely random.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 5:57 am Post subject: Expulsion 1. |
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Expulsion 1.
“Welcome back viewers! This is Emerald Eyul here, reporting from the jungles of Muggableagooba. With me is team A, who think they are on the way to base camp 1 for some R&R. However, we know that you have voted one of them off the show, which means a horrible death awaits! Let’s zoom in and join the competitors now shall we?”
“What did she say?” asked Dean.
“Something about base camp I think” said Lordy, “I wasn’t really listening. I doubt it affects us.”
“How far is this camp anyway?” puffed Key.
“Feeling hungry are we?” asked Tiny Stoat, who didn’t easily forget the loss of cakes.
“Has anyone else noticed the trees?” asked Dean.
“RLZ notices all!” said RLZ. “What trees?”
“They do look larger than your normal variety I will grant you” said Dean, craning his head back. “And is that a nest up there?”
They all looked up. Silence reigned for a minute as they tried to come to terms with the giant construction in the branches high above.
“It is certainly…big” said Lordy thoughtfully, glancing around.
“Come to think of it, everything is looking larger than average” said Key.
“Hmmf. Welcome to my world” Stoat said from Dean’s shoulder.
“It’s awfully quiet as well, anyone else notice that?” Dean said.
They all looked around.
“Probably just the eye of the storm, nothing to worry about” said Key.
“Someone tell cream boy that there is no storm!” huffed Stoat.
“Oh yes midget? So what is that rumble of thunder then?” Key folded his arms in triumph.
“That’s awfully odd thunder” said Lordy. “Very…regular.”
“RLZ says…That isn’t thunder!”
“The ground is shaking” Dean pointed out.
“I am getting a bad feeling about all this.” Lordy started backing away.
A shadow loomed over the group and they all looked up.
“Ulp” said Stoat.
“No one move!” said Key. “Everybody knows they don’t attack if you stay still. Guys? Guys?”
Key looked about to see an absence of comrades, who were a little way off and still gaining speed.
“Oh dear…”
>>>>>>
Right, just a short there. The question is, and I always look forward to your devious suggestions here, is what is about to eat* Key???
Answers on a postcard, or better yet, as a reply…
*Or otherwise do away, in as horrible fashion as possible.
<<<<<<
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 6:10 am Post subject: |
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I don't suppose I could be horribly ironic here and suggest a giant winged cream-cake?
Ooooh, I could? Thanks! 
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 6:49 am Post subject: |
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Is a one eyed, one horned flying orange King Key eater too outlandish?
I'm thinking perhaps a delivery truck from Laurens Patisseries Limited has somehow taken flight and dumps its load on top of Key's head.
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 9:32 am Post subject: |
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| An alien, like predator. "I want Key as a trophy". Or maybe something more cute... a giant and fluffy cat, who just wanted to play with him.
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 11:22 am Post subject: |
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DEATH BY TEDDY BEARS! 
I'm sure you could work it in. Somehow. 
*holds breath*
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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I knew I could rely on you lot to come up with something twisted!
I have had an idea which means I can fit just about anything you can come up with into the story, from giant Cream cakes to gigantic Teddy bears, so if anyone else has any ideas, fire away.
I will put up a poll this evening (China time +8 GMT I think).
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 5:27 am Post subject: |
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The creamcake is tempting, but despite the available randomness quota I can't justify the jungle knowing about Key's recent creamcake larceny.
So....I voted for the Chamber Pot 
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 5:31 am Post subject: |
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| Smee wrote: | The creamcake is tempting, but despite the available randomness quota I can't justify the jungle knowing about Key's recent creamcake larceny.
So....I voted for the Chamber Pot |
LOL! There's a kind of logic hidden in there somewhere! 
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 5:44 am Post subject: |
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| Plus it'll teach him that it's not nice be have excreation tipped over you.
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 7:04 am Post subject: |
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| Voted chamberpot. It sort of balances itself out doesn't it? The chamber pot becomes a hero in GvEvM and a villain in this story.
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 7:35 am Post subject: |
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I admit I had to go for the chamberpot as well. Sorry King!
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 1:13 pm Post subject: |
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I simply had to go with the cream-cake option. Irony is the most enjoyed form of humor.
Hum...maybe they should change the name of the jungle from Muggableagooba to the jungle of increasing irony...
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 6:08 am Post subject: Key Expunged. (Episode 8.5) |
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Key Expunged.
The thing loomed large, if there were any normal sized trees it would have stood as tall as them. As it was, it just stood much taller than Key, who backed away, mind racing, well limping and wheezing anyway.
“Now then,” he said, holding his hands out in what he hoped was a placating fashion. “I am sure you wouldn’t want me to… I mean I went just a little while ago, behind a tree. I admit I was thinking of you at the time, but that was then…”
The enormous chamber pot stepped forward, crushing a fallen log as it did so. It’s golden sheen glinting in the sunlight.
“Wha..what a pretty chamber pot you are” said Key, taking another stance. “Or a handsome one, should you…” he turned and ran for it.
The Chamber pot let out a deafening roar* and lurched after him, crashing through the undergrowth and slopping dubious colored liquid over the rim.
“What’s he doing now?” whispered Stoat.
“I think he is dodging around a giant tree, it isn’t really easy to tell” whispered back Dean from the bush they were hidden in.
“RLZ Says we should assist our leader!” said RLZ, making as if to stand up.
Lordy dragged him back into the bushes and sat on him. “Now, why would we want to go and attract the attentions of a giant homicidal Chamber Pot? That would be simply foolish. Hush now, and let Key lead it away, as is no doubt his plan.”
“RLZ mmfff mffff” said RLZ, waving his arms around from underneath Lordy.
Stoat rubbed her hands together gleefully. “This is justice. No one eats my cakes and gets away with it! It would have been more ironic if it had been a giant Cream Cake, but I will settle for this.”
“You have a nasty streak, you know that Stoat” said Dean.
“I do not. Now be quiet, or I will bit your nose off. What is happening now?”
“Well, I will tell you as long as you leave my nose alone.” Dean sighed and peered out again. “Amazing. Key is taking his jumpsuit off.”
“Urg!” said Lordy. “Some things aren’t meant to be seen by sensitive eyes. Disemboweling screaming victims is one thing, seeing Key in his glory is quite another.”
There was a scream as Key stepped on something sharp, then a large round and above all, naked, figure ran past them, breathing heavily. Dean looked pale, which considering he was half shadow was no mean feat.
Crunching behind Key came the pot, growling a low growl.
“How did this thing get here?” asked Stoat. “It seems a bit odd.”
“Strange though,” answered Lordy, peering after the pot. “Key was mentioning he could use something like this earlier.”
“It’s as if the jungle caught his thought and gave him his wish, in a large and twisted way of course.” Said Dean.
There was a moment of silence, only broken by Key shouting some obscenity at the pot, as the others recounted anything they may have thought about recently. It may pay to be careful if thoughts were going to pop up in expanded form and a bad mood.
Key, momentarily having evaded the pot, had draped his jumpsuit over a bush.
“Mmm, our Mayor** is not as stupid as some would make out” Dean murmured. “He is trying to lure the pot over that cliff.”
They all craned their necks to watch as Key, mercifully, hid behind a tree and cooed out. “Hey, Crap Pot, over here.”
The Chamber Pot turned and crashed through the brush, running towards the jumpsuit. Too late it saw the trap. It stumbled and tripped in an effort to avoid the cliff.
To no avail. The cliff gave way and Pot, bush and Jumpsuit disappeared over the edge. There was a moment of silence and then an enormous ‘clang’.
Silence.
The group squinted as Key slowly emerged and peered over the edge. He did a little naked dance of glee, which rated fairly high on Stoats ‘things I never wished to see’ list.
Key turned as they approached the scene of his triumph. “Ha! Leave me alone would you! Well, see how Key deals with things!” He crossed his arms.
“I am seeing far too much just now” said Stoat, pointedly looking upwards.
“Hmmf. Maybe I can locate my jumpsuit” Key said. He turned around and bent over as he peered down the cliff face.
Dean was sick.
“Er,” said Lordy. “Key I would stand back if I were you.”
“I am not scared of heights” Key said.
“Well, it’s not that…” Lordy started.
The cliff edge, already abused cracked under the extra strain of Key’s weight. There was a brief moment of silence, with Key’s ‘Oh oh” plainly heard by all, before the lip gave way in a low rumble of rock, taking Key with it.
There was a pause as the others looked at each other.
Eventually Lord sighed. “Okay, I will go and look.” He made his way carefully to the new edge and looked over. “Oooh, that’s nasty.”
The rest went up and looked down.
There, protruding from a large pile of rocks which were mixed with the effluence spilled from the Chamber Pot, was a fat leg.
“It’s the way he would have wanted to go” said RLZ.
“Buried in rocks and mixed with giant crap you mean?” asked Stoat. “Not my idea of a great exit.”
“RLZ means he went after defeating a vile summoning, a hero” said RLZ.
They wandered off. “Well, I plan to go out in an Orgy of Cream Cakes surrounded by hunky pencil..er, hunks” mused Stoat.
“I plan on living forever” said Lordy. “I never subscribed to this whole death thing.”
The voices faded as they wandered through the giant trees…
“This is Emeral Eyul folks. There you have it. The first contestant has been eliminated. Now our attention turns to Team B. Who will be the one to go from that group? Prepare your control wands, the poll will be available after these messages…”
*Okay, not so much of a roar as a ‘slosh’. But a deafening one.
**The Gang here have been out of touch with IF, and hence don’t know of the recent elections.
<<<<<<
The King is dead, Long live the King!
Right, the next poll will be up shortly. Don’t touch that control wand!
>>>>>>
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 6:19 am Post subject: |
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*wipes grin off face quickly*
That was really cruel, Chinaren. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. What's the poor King ever done to you?
*feigns innocence in the voting stakes*
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 6:22 am Post subject: |
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Excellent exit of our King. *mourns*
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 6:29 am Post subject: |
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Right, time to vote for who will get the chop from team B.
Press the 'Water' Rune on your control wand....
Now!
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 6:34 am Post subject: |
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Any last-minute appeals from Team B?
*waits to see the begging*
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 6:37 am Post subject: |
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Poor Key. Splattered and showerd (with effluence). Evil China *secretly pats orange monster on the back* A crying shame...
Noticed one thing:
| Quote: | | I will bit your nose off |
This should be bite I think.
*holds breath*
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 7:20 am Post subject: |
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That is how the King leave us. Being our hero... or something like that
Nice chapter !
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 7:42 am Post subject: |
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Good killing Chinny
*looks at everyone staring at him with dangerous glints in the eyes.*
Erm... Don't kill me... please 
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 8:42 am Post subject: |
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| Oh yeah put my name first on your hitlist.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 9:43 am Post subject: |
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DIE DIE DIE! MUWAHAHAHAH!  
*holds breath*
_________________
"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 10:27 am Post subject: |
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I want to hear some begging for mercy, in Spanish.
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The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 1:16 pm Post subject: |
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I simply must vote for the only option that makes any logical sense.
I'll leave you all to figure out what it is...
Muwahaha...
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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| ethereal_fauna wrote: | | I want to hear some begging for mercy, in Spanish. |
¿Estás hablando de mi? No creo que sea necesario....
Just in case
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Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 4:40 pm Post subject: |
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Damn! I just realised I missed a trick here. I should have opened a bidding thread for this!
I need more Fables to counter Smee's cruel price rises.
Must be getting old, ah well. I will just sit back and watch the cruelty. Sometimes that is its own reward.
| Smee wrote: | *looks at everyone staring at him with dangerous glints in the eyes.*
Erm... Don't kill me... please |
LOL!
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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| Author |
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ethereal_fauna
Perpetually Distracted
Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Topics: 58
Posts: 2567
Location: USA
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
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| Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 5:49 pm Post subject: |
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| jnmrcs wrote: | ¿Estás hablando de mi? No creo que sea necesario....
Just in case |
Hablo de usted. Creo que es necesario. Usted aboga por.
_________________
The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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