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Chinaren
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Muaddib
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 Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 7:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Im rooting for Smee! Go Smee!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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Hey you two! This isn't the Spanish thread here! Write it in English, or possibly Chinese, but something I can understand please!
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jnmrcs
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| Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 5:25 pm Post subject: |
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If I do it I will incriminate me... so  Sorry
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 8:26 pm Post subject: |
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Well, it's between Muaddib, Smee and IM at the moment. Anyone care to break the tie?
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Smee
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| Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 1:34 am Post subject: |
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Ooh missed this poll - good timing it seems too.
Shame on the two that already voted for me - I appealed and everything 
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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Looks like IM is winning!
I will be thinking about the next chapter soon, depending upon the next one of Greed, which I should also get started.
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Idea master
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| Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 1:50 pm Post subject: |
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But what you have to ask yourself is...
Am I really winning, when all is said and done?
And who says I won't just vaporize the challenge that eliminates me?
*Bzzt-zow*
Lightning works wonders.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 4:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Idea master wrote: | But what you have to ask yourself is...
Am I really winning, when all is said and done?
And who says I won't just vaporize the challenge that eliminates me?
*Bzzt-zow*
Lightning works wonders. |
Well...Key fell off a cliff. I am sure I* can think of something! 
*By which I mean you, the readers.
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| Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 4:55 pm Post subject: |
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*Points at shiny title*
Magus Extrodinare! That title is reserved for they that have mastered many spells that could get them out of almost any tight spot!*
...
Or at least take a certian orange-furred capitalist with them.
*And paid 2500 fatbacks to Smee
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 5:23 am Post subject: IM a Wizard! |
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IM a Wizard! (Episode 9.0)
There is a part of the Muggableagooba jungles that the locals* avoid. They call it, Argo Bagger Nogothar. Which, translated means, ‘the Place that Listens’. What this delightful name fails to mention is that the place not only listens, but listens to your thoughts, If that wasn’t exciting enough for you, these thoughts are often turned into reality, Although usually not in the way the thinker expects.
Why, you may question, does it do this? I am glad you asked. A distinguished delegation from The University of Strange Magic in the city of IS studied the phenomenon for two months. The sole survivor returned home clutching a paper which was pried from his hands before they carted him off to a room with bouncy walls.
The paper postulated that exceptionally high levels of magic in the area had given it a kind of ‘hive consciousness’, consisting of the plants mainly, but also some of the animals. The Mind had developed this rather strange method of killing foolish visitors to nourish the soil. The method was exceptionally successful for a long time, and the extra nutrients, along with the background magic caused the tress and other life to grow to amazing sizes.
>
“Here’s an interesting fact,” said Muaddib who was studying a printout that Cyborgninja had expelled from a slot behind his ear.
“What’s that?” asked Smee, “come on Sorrow, keep up!”
Sorrow, who was walking with a strange gait, grumbled to himself. “I still don’t think it was needed, I didn’t get anywhere near the Slug Eaters.”
“We couldn’t risk it” said IM, smirking. “If just one of those little pink things got inside you…” He let the sentence trail off shaking his head.
“But they wouldn’t have climbed up there!” wailed Sorrow, “I would have noticed, I assure you.”
“Oh hush,” Jnmrcs said. “If IM said you needed an enema, who are we to argue? He is the wizard.”
“Ahem” coughed Smee, dried mud flaking off his jumpsuit as he walked. “There is more than one mage here you know.”
“Does anyone want to know what this says or not?” asked Muaddib.
“++Bleep++” responded Cyborgninja.
“You printed it out, you already know, but thanks for the support anyway brother robot.”
“+Bleep bleep++”
“Sorry. Brother Cyborg.”
“Go on then,” sighed Smee stepping over a rather strange looking lizard. “What does it say?”
“It says this region is called ‘Argo Bagger Nogothar’” said Muaddib with dignity.
“Amazing” said IM dryly.
“Which” Muaddib glared at him, “means The Place that mmmmff”
“The place that what?” asked Jnmrcs. “Has anyone noticed how large the trees are here by the way?”
“Yes yes, fascinating” said Muaddib.
“Well, are you going to tell us the meaning or not?” Smee asked.
“Ah, well not really. I sort of dropped the paper in the mud and smudged the last word.”
“Here” said IM, squelching over to Muaddib. “Give that here, I will look at it.”
“I haven’t finished with it yet! Wait your turn!” Muaddib held the paper away from IM.
“Give it here!”
“Will not!”
“I will blast you! The Title isn’t Magus Extraordinaire for nothing you know!”
“Just try it shorty! I will drown you in the nearest puddle.”
“Hush you two!” said Smee, stopping. “Do you hear that?”
The others stopped, IM and Muaddib still holding onto the paper.
“Over there” said Jnmrcs, gesturing.
They crept slowly over and peered around one of the enormous trees. A figure dressed in green was speaking into a Camera Orb.
“..the results are finally in and the next person to be eliminated will be Idea Master! Thank-you for your votes everyone, and please keep watching!”
Everyone looked at Idea Master, who found himself in an ever widening circle of no one else.
“What? So that’s it eh? After all I have done for you, the first slight sign of trouble and you desert me!” He looked about nervously. “Well, bring it on then! I can handle it!” He raised his hands in spell casting position. “And who says I won't just vaporize the challenge that eliminates me? Tries to eliminate me,” he corrected.
Bzzt-zow He gestured and a bolt of lightning slammed into a nearby tree.
“Lightning works wonders. Remember who you are dealing with here! Magus Extraordinaire! That title is reserved for they that have mastered many spells that could get them out of almost any tight spot! Oh yes!”
The others, now at a good distance from IM looked around.
“Do you hear that?” said Smee, causing IM to jump around wildly.
“What?” said Jnmrcs.
“That!” said Smee.
*The local pygmies that are considered civilized that is, which means to say those tribes that eat most of their food cooked, and allow their sacrifices to say goodbye before shrinking their heads. The less enlightened tribes and the various jungle wildlife all still flourish of course.
>>>>>>
Right, you did such a good job with Key, I thought I would let you decided the Fate for IM too! What’s it to be? What can withstand IM’s lightening bolts?
Let’s hear it! *covers eyes*
<<<<<<
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 6:00 am Post subject: |
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Hmm... so this place listens to your thoughts, yeah? Then it translates the thoughts into some sort of reality.
At the moment, I think IM's thoughts are going to be full of fear, naturally enough. And what does any Magus Extraordinaire fear? Why, being found out, of course!
I think his fears are going to manifest into hundreds of copies of The Junior Handbook of Spells for Dummies (that he secretly carries around with him, and brushes up on when no-one else is looking. )
Then, while he's on the defensive and trying to deny the existence of these books, they'll slowly herd him into the nearest patch of quicksand, where he'll go under while still trying to access the right page (entitled: "So You've Got Yourself Trapped in a Mud-Pit: What Happens Next?").
The only thing left will be bubbles, and the odd spark of a muddy lightning-bolt...
Last edited by Shady Stoat on Tue May 16, 2006 6:37 am; edited 1 time in total
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 6:35 am Post subject: |
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 Lovin' Stoat's suggestion. But the first thing that sprang to mind was IM's mother. The uber mage need only fear Momma whose stifling embrace into the bosoms of motherly love can suffocate.
She'll come complete with washcloth to get behind his ear, and an album of baby pictures to spring upon the local flora and fauna. He'll die of embarrassment when she flips out the pic of his naked baby tushie and the huge trees start laughing.
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 7:57 am Post subject: |
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| Both are good ideas. So good I have nothing right now. I hope I could find some ideas...
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Smee
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 8:13 am Post subject: |
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Hilarious setup Chinny, and awesome ideas from the Stoat and Fauns. 
The only idea that's coming to mind is some sort of pissed-off Thunder God, looking to see who has stolen some of his best bolts.
Happy Writing 
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 11:40 am Post subject: |
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Trust me, it's not mom I fear...
It's mom in a baaad mood.
She comes complete with rant mode and guilt trips to send even the most Extraordinare of Magi into his room weeping...
Or, at least, the illusion of his room, which is actually a pit covered by leaves.
For Smee's suggestion, I'd just suddenly switch places with me and him.
And the books would be incinerated...Fire works well as well.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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| lordofthenight wrote: | Magical books don't necessarily burn though.
And Chinare, what is it with you and the strange walks? Have you got an unhealthy obsession with it now? |
LOL! There have only been two. Maybe three. Mmm. You may have a point there...
Great ideas people! A herd of books, IM Mother and The God of Lightning! Mwahahahaha!
Anyway, I will leave it open a bit longer...
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Chinaren
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 6:17 am Post subject: |
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Just felt in the mood to add another chapter, and found I hadn't put a poll up! I really need to write these things down somewhere.
Anyway, now it is up, so vote away...
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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Very cool Chinaren. I'm just starting to discover all these stories with the citizens of IF as characters. I gotta post more so I can start insinuating myself into other peoples stories
Anyway that herd of books ought to be pretty hilarious.
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| Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 9:21 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to the story Argo! I am sure you will make an appearance in this one, or Tale of IF soon enough!
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| Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 5:49 pm Post subject: Tome Be or Not Tome Be? (Episode 9.5) |
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Tome Be or Not Tome Be? (Episode 9.5)
“Yes, I can hear it too now” Jnmrcs. “A kind of raspberry wheezing sound.”
Muaddib looked embarrassed. “Sorry, too many beans for dinner. Wooo.” He waved his hand about.
“Arg! Muaddib! That is disgusting!” The others quickly found new trees to hide behind.
“How you doing out there IM?” shouted Sorrow from behind a bush.
“I am very happy not to be near you,” replied IM, who had moved into the middle of a small clearing that had one small tree in the middle of it. He was leaning against the tree with his arms crossed, patiently awaiting his doom.
“I am pretty hungry,” Muaddib said to Smee. “Any chance of conjuring up some food?”
“Ah. Yes, well I would you see, but I am better with fireballs really. Sorry.”
“IM!” Muaddib shouted. “Can you conjure up some food whilst waiting to die?”
“My own last meal you mean?” said IM sourly.
“Come on IM! We are hungry, it will show you how much better you are than Smee.” Jnmrcs winked at Smee who frowned.
“Oh, I suppose so,” IM grumbled. “Now, let’s see. Food spells. Mmm.” He waved a hand and a book labeled “Spell casting for Dummies” popped out of the air into his hands.
The trees around them quivered, but no one noticed, intent on IM as they were.
“Now then. What sort of food would you like?” IM turned a page and a slight breeze picked up.
“Something spicy for me!” said Muaddib.
“I think we have had enough of your emissions thank-you” said Smee. “Make it a big dish of mashed potato” he called to IM.
“Mashed potato?” Muaddib looked shocked. “Mashed potato?”
“Okay, mashed potato it is. Be with you in a minute.” IM traced some text on a page with his finger, mouthing words. Finally he closed the book with a slam. “Spuddus summonussss” he said, doing a little jig and waving his arms about.
“Did you feel that?” asked Sorrow.
“What? Hush! IM is ordering dinner,” Muaddib said.
“I thought I felt something.”
“++Bleep++” said Cyborgninja.
“Be quiet you two, I am listening” said Smee.
IM finished his spell. Nothing happened.
“Typical, he messed it up!” said Smee, a grin of superiority on his face.
“Something is coming” said Sorrow, looking round.
“++Warning Danger Danger++”
“Hey! Careful where you are waving those hands of yours!” Muaddib ducked.
Smee had backed up against a large tree and was looking left and right. “IM, something is coming!”
“What? What?” IM dropped the book and swiveled his head around, trying to look in all directions at once.
A tremor ran through the trees and a cold wind blew.
“Listen!” said Jnmrcs.
“Not Muddy again surely?” Sorrow asked.
“No, something else.”
They listened. Sure enough, a low rustling sound could be heard. It seemed to be coming from all around them.
“What is it?” shrieked IM, hands held high, ready for Lightning. The book at his feet trembled.
“Book! Book! Book!” Sorrow squealed pointing wildly.
On the other side of the clearing a book hopped into view. IM, tensed to a high pitch didn’t hesitate. A brief zapppp and the book was hit by a bolt of electricity, rendering it so much ash.
“Ha! Take that!” he danced around wildly, giggling.
“I don’t think it was alone” Smee said, trying to climb the tree and finding he couldn’t.
Indeed, another book hopped into the clearing, followed by another and another. IM glared at them.
More came into view and advanced slowly, walking on their covers and making rustling noises. The book at IM’s feet stirred, making him jump. He stamped on it. The other books stopped.
“Oh oh. I don’t think you should have done that” said Jnmrcs, who was standing behind Muaddib.
The books growled.
“Come on then. What’ya got eh? I am ready for you!” IM made beckoning movements with his hands.
The books attacked*, rushing forward in a group, more emerging behind them.
IM giggled and threw a fireball, incinerating a broad swath through the leaders and crisping most of the others. “Take that!” he shouted.
More books slid out of the undergrowth and joined the assault.
IM cackled and hopped about, throwing fireballs of various colors about gleefully, destroying library loads of angry novels.
Still they came and IM slowly began to back away. He no longer chuckled but concentrated on his casting.
“Look out! To your right!” shouted Muaddib.
IM swiveled around to meet a rush from a group of dictionaries trying to flank him. He send a pulse of energy at them, scattering words everywhere and rendering them inert. The dictionaries had done their job though, a swarm of children’s books leapt for IM’s feet, climbing up his leg.
“Getoffme!” shouted IM, shaking his leg, sending copies of ‘The Adventures of Smiley Poop-Face’ flying in all directions.
He cast an electrical charge as a bunch of heavier Encyclopedias thudded into him from the side, knocking him away. He rounded on them and send a ball of white energy through them, destroying a whole set in one go.
A squad of Whodunnits launched themselves at him, tearing his robes before IM could repulse them. They were quickly replaced by some Fantasy novels, flying in from above and knocking IM to the ground, where he was swarmed on my several DIY books.
IM rolled in the mud, dislodging them and managing to regain his feet.
“That’s it! You have made me angry now!” He thrust a finger at the flying fantasy squadron and a large explosion knocked them from the sky. Then he thrust a fist down and shouted Magical words.
A circle of blue fire swept out from him, expanding as it went, consuming the attacking books. Ash flew into the air and the smell of smoke filtered through the jungle.
“See how you like that!” Said IM in satisfaction.
The books retreated, First Aid guides helping the injured and damaged to limp away from IM’s circle of fire.
“Ahahaha! I win!” IM smiled and looked over at his colleagues. “See? I don’t need your help! I can handle a few books on my own.”
Muaddib swallowed. “I think…”
“What, what do you think?” asked IM, leaning against a wall and polishing his fingernails.
Muaddib didn’t say anything, but just pointed.
“Huh?” IM looked around. The wall he was leaning on had giant words on it.
They said ‘…and justice was served.’
IM looked up at the Mother book, towering angrily over him.
“Oh shi…”
There was a thud and a squishing noise as the tome slammed shut, relegating IM to the role of squashed red bookmarker.
“Ouch” said Smee quietly as they watched the enormous novel stump off.
There was a sound, and a giant bowl of mashed potatoes landed in a bush nearby.
>
“This is Emerald Eyul here at base camp One! Both teams are expected to arrive at any minute. From here we shall move onto our next location. But where shall it be? The Bananalands are rich and diverse, with a complex history.
There is a nearby haunted castle for example. Or the Tombs of King Gollywobble the Mad, rumored to be riddled with deadly traps.
Or perhaps you would like to pick a location? Go to the local library and look up the guide book on ‘Bananalands’.
Suggestions should be submitted here!
This is Emeral Eyul, from the Bananalands, with Real Bananas!”
*There is a sentence I have never written before.
>>>>>>
Okay folks! Let your imaginations run wild! Suggest a setting for the next part of the Real Banana challenge!
<<<<<<
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 10:19 pm Post subject: |
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| OOooh, I like the sound of the Tombs. Let's go there
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| Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 3:24 am Post subject: |
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Very nice chapter.
I prefer the haunted castle...
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Chinaren
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Solomon Birch
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Location: England..... but Japan beckons.....
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| Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 11:07 am Post subject: |
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Traps sound nice and spiky and fally and choppy. Go there. With Lordy held out in front.
*holds breath*
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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Yes guys, there can me pretty much any scenario you can think* of. Don't limit yourself to the two I put up, those were just a couple to get you going.
*Within the genre anyway.
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Argonaut
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Joined: 11 May 2006
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| Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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| chinaren wrote: | | Welcome to the story Argo! I am sure you will make an appearance in this one, or Tale of IF soon enough! |
In that case I like my tea with a ridiculous amount of honey
Now for the location... hmm, how about an Aztec style temple where the Banana God is worshipped. Perhaps they have to steal the giant golden banana. But how do you steal a 50 foot banana?
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jnmrcs
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Location: Puerto Rico, Soy Boricua pa' q tu lo sepas...
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| Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 3:07 am Post subject: |
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| The castle of Dracula. (I just want a castle)
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 3:18 am Post subject: |
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Not the Banana God again - his worshipers really don't like us (EVIL stole a golden banana from them once). Though admittedly, only Sorrow was found holding it...
I like that plan actually.
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 5:55 am Post subject: |
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How about we go to the castle, Lordyn in front, when suddenly everyone turns into their altar egos?
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 6:26 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | How come Argo is going to get into Tale of If before me? I've got 200 more posts thatn him! |
Well, for one it doesn't go on post count.
Secondly, I never said you wouldn't be in did I?
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Chinaren
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