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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 1:05 pm Post subject: |
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Woo - Tie broken. I'm jumping in before it gets tied again then.
Not what I was expecting - but Norral is going to follow his own plan and head toward the capital via the main roads.
Look for the chapter soon.
Thanks for voting and..
Happy Playing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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moonhawk Guest
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Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 7:24 am Post subject: |
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that was a great chapter... keep it coming
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 11:14 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry for the delay guys - A poll for Trengin will be up soon, along with Norral's chapter.
Thanks for your patience _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 5:12 pm Post subject: |
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Phew, finally caught up. I don't know what to do yet, I'll get back on you. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 1:43 am Post subject: |
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Good timing D - I hope to get this back up and moving again very soon. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 6:38 am Post subject: |
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So which chapter are we discussing now?
Great story Smee! I finally got caught up and this could easily turn into a full fledged RPG. We should chat
I'm not sure which decision point we are currently pondering. I'll throw my two cents in the ring when I know I can speak coherently
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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Woo - new reader.
Could be all I need to push me that last step into writing again....
*reads through the thread*
Ah yes - Trengin has made contact with Captain Hunt, and received a report on the Sempa activities at the bridge.
Discussing what Trengin will do next.
Next chapter due out is Chapter 20 - which is Norral beginning his journey to the capital via his own route, the main roads.
Happy Playing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 12:04 pm Post subject: |
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I would agree that recruitment is going to help in the long run but I also agree that recruiting would be very difficult right now, especially since the Sempa have obliterated a Keep. We need something to show people that the Sempa are not indestructible.
We need a prisoner. As crappy as it sounds, we need to show everyone that the Sempa are just people that breathe and bleed like anyone else. How many people actually knew about the caravan? I would think more people would remember the bridge than some minor story about guarding a few artifacts most people probably won't care about. Regardless of what is said about the artifacts, people want to see the truth rather than hear it. Ton change someones mind, they have to be shown something irefutible.
I suggest we go about capturing a couple of the Sempa. Perhaps there is something more to Trengin's nature magic than just talking with the trees?
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DeadManWalking Duke of the Mostly Dead
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:09 pm Post subject: |
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IT"S BACK!!!!!!!!
First post.
EDIT: I am so happy.
This was a great storygame way back when. And now it is back!!!!!!!
*tries to hide the big red light flashing behind him saying "Suckup alert"*
My only sadness is that my suggestion of cross-country travel was not taken.
EDIT: I would just like to say that i have twitchy-finger-post-it-itis. Which is a rare disease that makes your twitchy finger click on the submit button and then think of something to say.
It's tragic.
anyways.... Dam... I forgot what I was going to say.
Stand by for another edit once i remember. _________________ When the dead walk, the living run.
Last edited by DeadManWalking on Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:18 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:10 pm Post subject: |
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Haha.
Norral will be going to the capital on May 7th...
Happy Storygaming _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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DeadManWalking Duke of the Mostly Dead
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:34 pm Post subject: |
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Oh yes... I remember what i wanted to say.
Did we decide Trengin's choice before this think went on hold? Because I believe I already left by then.
if we haven't, then I believe that going back to the rest of the circle is the best choice.
Recruitment (which seemed to be a strong choice before this ended) is not going to be enough.
The longer Hunt takes to recruit the more likely it is that the mages might hear about it (although that is, admittedly not likely). However, a possibility is that the Elders would learn of this and send reinforcements.
And it's unlikely that Hunt could find anywhere near enough men to destroy sixteen mages (four left there plus a full squad for reinforcements), even if they have all four mages on their side working together.
Look how much trouble they had when they went up against twelve mages with one mage, and he had the element of surprise.
So going back to the caravan in an attempt to find any information that could help seems to be the best choice. Unless he finds a way to recruit Emflikars.
Edit: Sorry, it is a very horrible disease that has me in its grip.
I would also like to say that King Key's arguments from a year and a half ago are also good, and would like to add his argument to my own.
The one about how not many people will want to fight the mages given their reputation of invincibility. _________________ When the dead walk, the living run.
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algu95 Citizen
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 11:43 pm Post subject: |
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Yay, it's back, though I admittedly wasn't here when it stopped, I still tracked it in the Hall of Fame... Now, that was because of the whole Mage thing... No suggestions as to what Trengin should do. _________________ Yes, no, what, hello?
Falcon Lord, a linear story by algu!
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 6:30 am Post subject: |
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Just read the first 5 chapters back to back, and so far I like.
Not being a fan of fictions magical, particularly when that magic is used for the sake of 'convenience', (scrolls floating around, face shields, dust falling off travel-worn clothes at the flick of a wrist etc.) the writing style, and switching between the two POV between chapters has been enough so far to keep me interested. Certainly Norral's account interspersing the story make's Treng's account much more suspenseful and meaningful to the reader.
Other things that have me intrigued are the limitations placed on both sides - the effort that goes into creating magic, the fact that the Sempa don't shield themselves so as to maximise their killing power, the lost knowledge and the limited understanding of it, and these self-cursed Emflikar. Am looking forward to meeting one of those in future chapters.
The world is very rich and well thought out, as are the wars and strategies, and the impact of the carnage at the beginning of Chapter 2 was very effective.
I realise that this was written as a prequel to Battle to the End which I also haven't read, but taken 'out of context' it has a completeness about the environment that I find satisfying, yet still wanting to know more about the history of it all.
I won't comment on technical errors which were fairly abundant in the first chapter especially, as they were written nearly 3 years ago now, but it is clear how talented a writer you are, Smee.
Will continue to catch up.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 8:35 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for the kind comments Crunchy.
Indeed the first few chapters are rife with errors. I spot a handful each time I re-read. It doesn't help that they've been heavily editted too. This is my first piece of major writing save for a couple of 1000 word entries in linear comps, and I had all sort of problems. I was constantly switching between first person and third person, as well as past and present tense completely without realising. Thankfully I was well critiqued back in the day by various members, and I think the later chapters are more consistent. Although I admit, these days I'm not a fan of writing in the first person perspective I chose.
*grins* Magic I'm a big fan of, so it's hardwork for me not to use it at any opportunity. But you make valid points about the limitations that I'll make sure to keep in tact.
It's not really a prequel to Battle to the End as such. Neither story has much relevance to each other, save for them being set in the same world. Battle to the End is a much more modern day story, where magic is much more prevalent and sophisticated. But the several authors who worked on Battle to the End, myself included, loved the world and I wanted to develop some of the history as to how some of the circumstances found in BttE might have occured. In some ways Battle to the End could be considered a spoiler to this story, so you're certainly aren't at a disadvantage not having read it.
I'm sorry to say, you won't see much mention of Emflikars in current chapters, although they do crop up. There was always plans for them to play a bigger part later though, so hopefully they'll appear in the new chapters I write over the coming months. I may be mistaken, but if memory serves you have a Mr Lotus to thank for their creation in this world. They are an interesting concept.
For note, some of the other players involved in the world creation when Battle to the End was being conceived include Ravenwing, Random, Ethereal Fauna, and possible others. Apologies if I missed ya out.
Happy Reading _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 11:04 am Post subject: |
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Did I hear my name mentioned somewhere?
Wait...what's this!? The Time Before comes back? This is good news. I've always cherished this story, especially because of my contributions to Battle. I do feel strangely tied to this world, as Smee has pointed out. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 2:06 am Post subject: |
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With much enthusiasm I'd like to announce that...
*fanfair*
Chapter 20 has just been posted.
Link
Happy Discussion
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Key King
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 7:55 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, that was pretty stupid to do target practice when you're trying to be incognito. Best thing to do now is to try to convince them that they're on a wild goose chase - maybe say that your fire last night was throwing off a lot of sparks. Make it seem like arresting you would be petty and insignificant - maybe suggest that you've heard that the Sempa are somewhere else.
If he doesn't buy it and tries to arrest you anyway, kill them all. You can't afford to be distracted.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 8:08 am Post subject: |
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Doh... forgot to lock the chapter...
This is Chinaren's comment and my reply...
Chinaren wrote: | Quote: | Capital to peddle his wears. |
Wares.
Nice chapter Smee, though I did think them rather foolish to be playing with fire, so to speak, in the open. Ah well.
I say he keep in character. A farmer would be nervous confronted with this. Anyway, no, he aint seen nothing sar.
If they try and arrest him though, maybe it will be time for more practice, with bigger targets. Unless they would take them to the capital, and then they can let them, doing the deed once nearer. |
Smee wrote: | Thanks Chinny - corrected that.
Quote: | Unless they would take them to the capital |
Quote: | Or let yourselves get taken to Etonreh, in the wrong direction to the Capital? |
They aren't from the Capital, but Etonreh. The city, amongst other things, where Trengin first went to learn about what's going on and where the caravan is currently being escorted to by Srune and Roah etc.
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Chinaren wrote: | Oh yes. Well, they might take them to the capital though. Or maybe it's on the way?
In any case, just throwing ideas about. Ooops, dropped one. |
~
Quote: | Yeah, that was pretty stupid to do target practice when you're trying to be incognito |
Haha, I have to agree. Bless them, they are just human afterall though. Boredom is rather effective at dulling caution _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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DeadManWalking Duke of the Mostly Dead
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 3:40 pm Post subject: |
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The most likely story that I think will allow them to leave would be to just say that you haven't seen anything.
This doesn't seem very convincing, but if you say you saw something, there is no way that the patrol won't at least try (not that they would succeed) to bring you in.
If they do try to bring you in, you have to kill them all.
because: 1. if you go quietly, you won't have a chance to escape or anything, as they wouldn't just go through all the trouble of bringing you to Etonreh to just let you go.
2. if any of them escape, or if you escape later only killing some of them, the enemy might learn of your existence and your disguise.
So you should kill them all, and get rid of the bodies.
I suggest incineration. _________________ When the dead walk, the living run.
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 12:40 pm Post subject: |
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Tell'em that the Sempa killed yer family while you were traveling. The caravan and the two farmhands is all you have left, and now you is goin' to the capital to demand aid from the king, or the prince, or whoever the hell rules over the land.
This demand thing is kinda foolish, which is exactly what this young officer will think 'bout you. He'll dismiss you as a stupid farmer. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 4:49 am Post subject: |
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Alrighty folks,
Norral's poll is going up, and you'll be having a Trengin chapter to read tomorrow (probably) to keep you entertained whilst you mull this one over.
Opinion seems to be fairly agreed on killing the soldiers should they try to arrest us, so I won't hold a seperate poll for that.
Our poll then is to decide which excuse/reasoning are we going to use to try and placte the guards without having to waste time with such pleasant distractions as killing them.
Poll will be up until it's time for Trengin's poll.
Happy Voting. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:06 am Post subject: |
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Time has run away from me, with chat, and reading other stories distracting me.
Trengin's return will commence asap, in the meantime, Norral's poll awaits your input.
Happy Storygaming _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Reiso Respected Citizen
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Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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It took me a couple of days to catch up, but I am officially on board as a player here now. Good story, good characters, and excellent decision points. I really enjoy that not only is the story being told from different views, but that we are able to vote on decisions from both sides. I sense this getting rather complicated if and when there is a final showdown between our hero and villain, but it promises to be interesting in any case--can't wait to see how that plays out. Also, great use of pictures as visual storytelling devices.
What should our big bad Sempa group do.... I really, really like D's idea of manipulating the guard with the false claim that Sempa killed his family. It's very clever, and I even smiled when I read it, so it is definitely my favorite option. It might even work with a more tolerant sort of guard. But this guy seems kinda hot-headed, and he may respond to the arrogance of a demand from a peasant farmer by throwing him in a cell just to teach him a lesson in manners.
The fire option seems too implausible to me. Anyone who would have spotted the fireballs would likely be an experienced enough scout to know a campfire when he sees one (as he must all the time), and so be quite able to tell the difference between one of those, and several fireballs flying up high above the treeline. Think about it.
Also, both of those choices are more complex fabrications, which means the guard is more likely to see through them and know that they are lying. Simplest is best, so I'm going with "We ain't seen no Sempa." It's lame, but it's hard to disprove or refute, and carries less risk of pissing off the guard. Depending on how good a liar this guy is, maybe embellish it by feigning that he doesn't even know what a Sempa is (that some kind of bird or somethin'?), but that too would be risky and possibly overplayed. _________________
Sector 17 -- Rebuilding... ... ...
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter--bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter
And because it is my heart." -- Stephen Crane
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 12:05 am Post subject: |
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*Chuckles*
Oh no, Reiso... what have you done!
I'm flattered that you've gone to the effort of catching up with this story, and glad that you've enjoyed it but if you glance at the dates of the last posts, you'll see that I've added nothing to this story for the last 10 months.
I do feel guilty though - back then I large number of people also caught up, and all they got for their trouble was one chapter (not even a lousy t-shirt!).
I'll poke the ol' muse and see what he says back.
Happy Playing.
EDIT:
Hmmm... I don't seem to have made a note of the decision made re: Trengin's next chapter. Backtracking and reading comments though, and it seems general opinion was to get back to Srune and Roah, and get recruiting.
*pokes muse* _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Reiso Respected Citizen
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Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 12:25 am Post subject: |
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Smee wrote: | ...if you glance at the dates of the last posts, you'll see that I've added nothing to this story for the last 10 months. |
Indeed, this is something that I did not notice until (much to my chagrin), I was mostly finished catching up. Though I have noticed since then that you also have something far more recent in Skiffiville, so I'll take a look there too.
So... no pressure. _________________
Sector 17 -- Rebuilding... ... ...
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter--bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter
And because it is my heart." -- Stephen Crane
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How does Norral answer the guard? |
Humbly deny all knowledge of any Sempa? |
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42% |
[ 3 ] |
Explain that your fire was throwing up a lot of sparks last night? Easily mistaken for fireballs at a distance. |
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14% |
[ 1 ] |
Sempa killed your family. You're heading straight to the Capital to complain and demand recompense? |
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28% |
[ 2 ] |
Author option (DO NOT USE) |
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14% |
[ 1 ] |
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Total Votes : 7 |
Who Voted: algu95, Chinaren, D-Lotus, DeadManWalking, Key, Reiso, Smee |
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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