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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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I think you guys might be missing the point. I got the impression that the door handle wasn't necessarily attached to the metal hulk.
Quote: | The handle detaches itself again and lies in your hand. |
I believe that this "doorhandle" will open up a door wherever it is applied, not just on the spaceship or time-capsule (if that's what the metal hulk is). Thus the opportunity would be present as long as we take the handle with us. It might even be useful in rescuing the girl from prison (if she even needs rescuing, btw) by opening a door in the prison wall.
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Shillelagh Citizen
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Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 8:58 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, I agree- but we don't know which surfaces the door knob can be used on. It could very well be that the knob can only be used on a few, select, small surfaces- if the knob attaches to anything, why couldn't the girl use it to escape? If she truly needs to be rescued, perhaps we can come back to her later- when we actually know how to use the knob, instead of just bumbling around with it.
Because, frankly, I don't think there's any point in staying around. If there's no benefit to be had, does it really matter when we leave? _________________
Ihniwid Chapter 5 is up- find it here!
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 6:41 am Post subject: |
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I actually don't agree. The reaction of the smaller object to the larger one, is enough to make me think that they are very specific to each other. But there is also the fact that, in my opinion anyway, both objects are unusual to the time period. We don't know what they are, what they do, or where they came from.
Also going back to the first chapter, and reading the description of the girl, her appearence is also unusual. And, maybe it's just me, but I got the feeling, from the description of the shoes, that maybe they could be trainers/sneakers.
The whole thing oozes futurist, to me. Therefore I was of the opinion that these objects meant something to each other, and the doorhandle can not just be attatched to random objects.
But, like I said, all just my opinion, and my personal impression of the situation. _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 12:21 pm Post subject: |
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The poll is up.
Have fun voting!
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:59 am Post subject: |
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Planning to close the poll on Friday if anyone else wants to cast their vote.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 9:05 am Post subject: |
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Apologies for the delay - work has been a little hectic this week. But I'll try and have the next instalment up by the weekend.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:05 am Post subject: |
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Poll Results:
What do you do?
Go and find the girl
0% [ 0 ]
Call out to the landlady for more information
20% [ 1 ]
Enter the metal cylinder
80% [ 4 ]
Total Votes : 5
Who Voted: D-Lotus, scissorkitty, Shillelagh, Smee, Tikanni Corazon
So, time to explore inside the metal cylinder.
Chapter removed for editing
Last edited by Crunchyfrog on Tue Aug 09, 2011 2:22 am; edited 2 times in total
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Shillelagh Citizen
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:20 am Post subject: |
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Well, I may not know where or when I am, but I at least know that I am safe. For the moment, anyway. And given the situation I left behind, I'd rather be cautiouis about leaving this relative safety. I saw what the girl did- I can probably repeat that to leave. But I don't know where I'll end up once I do leave. So before I do leave the castle, I'll take a look at the scroll. See if it's worth reading or reacting to, and that will determine how fast I want to leave. _________________
Ihniwid Chapter 5 is up- find it here!
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 8:10 am Post subject: |
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Oops! Upon re-reading this, I realised that there is a detail of this main character's origins we need to keep in mind, that could have a significant bearing on this DP - and make it a little more interesting, perhaps.
As you already know, he is a fruit seller who lives in a rural setting, in or around the mid 18th century. This means that he is illiterate.
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Shillelagh Citizen
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:25 am Post subject: |
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Ah. Okay, in that case, I'm going to see if there are any pictures or diagrams on the scroll which might be useful to me. As long as nothing looks evil or sinister, then I'll be mimicking the motions that the girl used. _________________
Ihniwid Chapter 5 is up- find it here!
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:48 am Post subject: |
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Another brilliant chapter Crunchy!
Well, though I myself may not be able to read the scroll, it has been left there for someone. I think I can safely assume that the 'cylinder' has not been just dumped, but left there for another person, or persons.
I think I should stay where I am for now, and see who comes for it. After all, they cannot see me, and they most likely will not be able to get in. So I will wait and see what happens, before attempting to leave. _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:57 pm Post subject: |
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I think that was your best chapter to date, Crunchy. Good work. Now, this capsule has very interesting properties. For one, it has the ability to time travel-- or at least to replay events of the past. It's uncertain, however, whether anything he is seeing from the inside is real at all. For now I think one must work under the assumption that at least some of the things he is seeing, such as Ned trying to listen for noise inside the capsule and the situation he is in at the end of the chapter, were happening on real-time.
So how curious is our hero? He was curious enough to enter the capsule in the first place, so he is probably still curious to see how the capsule works. My suggestion is to fiddle around. We have some clues from what he saw:
Quote: | She slots the egg into some sort of niche by the hatch, and the door swings shut. Then she takes the egg out of its invisible placing, and feels around the area by the hatch as if looking for something.
Holding the egg out to you for you to see, she waits as it morphs into a door handle, like your own. Then she winds the lever of the handle around a full circle. |
All of this, of course, could be happening in reverse. For all we know, the last thing our hero saw was the first thing that the girl did. Sort of like a rewind.
Nonetheless, I think searching for the "niche" he saw would be first on his to-do list.
Also, if the capsule is a cylinder, perhaps he can use to weight of his body--by rocking back and forth-- to roll it away from the open area towards the woods where it can be concealed until he figures out how to open it. Getting picked up by another set of people could make the process difficult, so we wanna avoid that.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:19 am Post subject: |
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There are certain sequences of events in this chapter - which, if you read backwards, may give a slightly different perspective on things.
I'll give it one more day for suggestions, and put the poll up tomorrow.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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Crunchyfrog wrote: | There are certain sequences of events in this chapter - which, if you read backwards, may give a slightly different perspective on things.
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I suspected the 'other self' he saw may come back to haunt him.
Very nice chapter or two there CF, I'm enjoying despite the POV, which I still don't like! I do enjoy time travel stories though, keep meaning to do one myself. Anyway...
I say he tries experimenting with the handle, as well as seeing if he can make anything (pictures!!) out on the scroll. Other than that, perhaps rage up and down for a bit? Bang on the walls some more? (In different places).
I'm out. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 1:03 am Post subject: |
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Some good suggestions there. I've distilled them into 3 options, and the banging about in different places is included in the 3rd option.
Have fun voting!
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 10:40 pm Post subject: |
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Poll is open until Friday - new chapter will be ready soon after.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 4:49 am Post subject: |
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Thanks everyone for voting! Here are the results of the poll for Chapter 5.
How to deal with the situation?
Use your bodyweight to roll the cylinder out of sight and concentrate on trying to get out for a look at that scroll
16% [ 1 ]
Wait patiently to see who comes for the scroll
16% [ 1 ]
Concentrate on learning how to gain control of the cylinder and the door handle
66% [ 4 ]
Total Votes : 6
Who Voted: Chinaren, D-Lotus, scissorkitty, Shillelagh, Smee, Tikanni Corazon
So lets figure out how to work this contraption!
Chapter removed for editing
Last edited by Crunchyfrog on Tue Aug 09, 2011 2:23 am; edited 1 time in total
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 5:19 pm Post subject: |
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"How did I get here? Is this Magic?"
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 1:11 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, I'd kinda roll with it here. Where is this, who are you, what is this, what are you talking about, what the heck is going on, where's the toilet???? And so on...
Apart from my usual first person moan, enjoyed it. However I thought this this....
Quote: | Nobody believes in witchcraft any more. |
...struck me as rather false for the period. I'm sure there were lots of people who still believed in wc back then. Heck, there are still people who believe in it today! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2010 8:19 am Post subject: |
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Chinaren wrote: | Apart from my usual first person moan, enjoyed it. | It's working! It's working! Seriously though I'm trying different approaches to writing in this POV and if I can get to the point where the POV no longer jars, or at least the story and the way it is told makes the POV 'invisible' then I'll have achieved my goal. It's a tough but hopefully worthwhile excercise in writing.
Quote: | However I thought this this....
Quote: | Nobody believes in witchcraft any more. |
...struck me as rather false for the period. I'm sure there were lots of people who still believed in wc back then. Heck, there are still people who believe in it today! |
The culture and setting that Alf comes from is loosely based on England somewhere between 1760 and 1780. (About 100 years prior to the setting for Magician's Touch, incidentally ) I've not spent as much time researching this period yet as I have done for MT...
I was surprised to read that the last execution for witchcraft in England was as early as 1682. By 1736 attitudes had changed so much that laws against witchcraft were repealed in England. They were replaced by a law that made it illegal to pretend to cast spells or tell fortunes.
Apparently it had become 'fashionable' in more educated circles in the mid 18th century to regard witchcraft as superstition. The poorer, uneducated people like Alf probably were still superstitious at that time. But they also used to like to imitate the upper classes in various ways - notably in the kind of clothes they'd wear. Carrying on in that vein (for this story) I'm kind of going on the theory that the younger generation of peasants (like Alf) would consider it to be their version of 'cool' not to believe in witchcraft, even if they didn't understand why.
Good point well made, though - perhaps this detail should be trickled into the story a little more.
Answers to questions so far coming soon...
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 2:08 am Post subject: |
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Okay, here are the answers to the questions so far. @ C'ren - yes, they'll show him the bathroom soon enough!
These questions and answers will be incorporated into the next chapter.
Removed for editing
Last edited by Crunchyfrog on Tue Aug 09, 2011 2:23 am; edited 1 time in total
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 5:21 am Post subject: |
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That's just great. But I'm going to drop a turd on your floor unless you show me where the latrine* is.
*I don't know wat they claled it back then. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 6:00 am Post subject: |
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Any more questions/suggestions?
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 4:06 am Post subject: |
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I think I would like to know a little more about the workings of this 'Time Machine'. Though I don't know if I want to go home yet, what happens when I do? Will I be taken straight back? Does the Time Machine just shift between those two time periods? If not, how does it know where to go to?
Thinking about it, will I be allowed to ever go back home, considering what I know about all of this?
Great chapter Crunchy! Lookin' foward to the next one! _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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Who is Alfie?
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 4:59 am Post subject: |
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D-Lotus wrote: | Who is Alfie? |
You are.
Tikanni Corazon wrote: | I think I would like to know a little more about the workings of this 'Time Machine'. Though I don't know if I want to go home yet, what happens when I do? Will I be taken straight back? Does the Time Machine just shift between those two time periods? If not, how does it know where to go to?
Thinking about it, will I be allowed to ever go back home, considering what I know about all of this? | - Good questions - and they'll be addressed in the next chapter, which is now underway.
Thanks all for the questions you put to this threesome on behalf of Alf - the ones already answered will also be incorporated into Chapter 7 - which I'm aiming to have finished by this time next week.
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 12:13 pm Post subject: |
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Perhaps I should have specified. I meant, who is the Alfie that they know. Or how do they know him anyway? I would think it bizarre if someone already knew my name or who I was without ever meeting me before.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 12:18 pm Post subject: |
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Ah, ok! Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Yes, I'll translate that into a question 'how do you know me?' and incorporate it into the writing.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 3:05 am Post subject: |
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Okay! Every question has been incorporated in some form or other, and answered, if not fully, then at least partially. Let me know if there is anything that appears to have been missed out!
Okay, without further ado -
Chapter removed for editing
Last edited by Crunchyfrog on Tue Aug 09, 2011 2:23 am; edited 1 time in total
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 4:10 am Post subject: |
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I think a peasant such as he is would be scared here. Maybe demand to be taken back to his time and place, away from such warlockary. He's a commoner, and these affairs are beyond his ken.
Nice chapter Ceef, though I think possibly his confusion and awe would be even more than you've made it here, though it would also have made the chapter a bit long I guess. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 2:09 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with Cren that he would be shocked and cowed. I think he would even be too scared to ask to be taken back to his time. In any case, it doesn't seem that he can escape this Wizard in any time or place, so he might as well stay with the people who can inform him about what his destiny is. The presence of the pub and of the Wizard offer some continuity in this changed world. If I were Alf, I would be interested in visiting the pub and finding out about what happened to it, since it pertains to him-- being as it is the one remnant of his time.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 9:30 am Post subject: |
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Planning to put up a poll for this at the end of the week. Any other ideas/suggestions?
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 2:43 pm Post subject: |
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Considering that we saw our other self talking to this wizard, and then Sandeep and Andy spoke of us getting into the Elven stronghold, we would assume that there is some kind of undercover operation going on here, to infiltrate the elven territory, or to find out what their plans are for the ongoing war between them and the humans.
If this is so, then we should get out of sight quickly, in case the wizard recognises us, and it ruins our plans, whatever they may be. And Lizzie and the others would most likely agree.
Though considering the wizard is just strolling down the street, there is a chance that he may not actually be a threat to them. But I'll still say, try and get away before he recognises us.
Great chapter Crunchy! _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Shillelagh Citizen
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Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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I have absolutely no idea what I'd be doing here. Part of me wants to hand the knob back over and say "Whatever war you're in, you can fight it without me." The other part of me wants to break the fourth wall and ask shock-value questions like "I thought she died. How is she here?" Maybe we should demand to know who the wizard-figure is.
Mostly, though, I'm thinking something along the lines of "Look. You keep talking like I'm some sort of important person. Well, I'm not. I'm helpless, and I have no idea what's going on. You want me to help in your little war? Then you'd better train me." _________________
Ihniwid Chapter 5 is up- find it here!
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 8:09 am Post subject: |
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Okay, poll's up!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8882 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 2:44 am Post subject: |
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'ted for the take me back option. Of course, by voting for this, I'm in no way saying he should be taken back of course. At least not just yet. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Topics: 168 Posts: 3998
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Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 1:30 pm Post subject: |
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Chinaren wrote: | 'ted for the take me back option. Of course, by voting for this, I'm in no way saying he should be taken back of course. At least not just yet. |
Should the first option win, Alfie's desire to go back home would just about be the only thing you could count on as featuring in the next chapter. As it features time-travel there are a lot of variables in play for this DP.
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Topics: 168 Posts: 3998
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Posted: Fri May 28, 2010 12:36 am Post subject: |
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Any more votes? I'll leave this open for a few more days, as it is the bank holiday coming up.
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 28, 2010 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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Ha-ha, it'd be difficult to handle a four-way tie, don't you think?
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Topics: 168 Posts: 3998
Items Legends
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Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 11:32 am Post subject: |
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And we still have a 4 way tie!
As I'm in the process of writing a new chapter on the Magician's Touch, I'll let this one run on until Friday.
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What is your reaction to what you have seen/learned so far? |
Take me back to 1762. I want no part of this. |
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16% |
[ 1 ] |
I know that pub, and I saw it destroyed. I must look at it more closely. |
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16% |
[ 1 ] |
That's him! That's the man I saw myself talking to in 1294. Who is he? |
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50% |
[ 3 ] |
When I arrived here you spoke as if I had returned from an Elven Stronghold after breaking a seal. If this is my destiny, you must prepare me with your magic now, because I have none. |
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16% |
[ 1 ] |
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Total Votes : 6 |
Who Voted: Chinaren, D-Lotus, Lebrenth, Shillelagh, Thunderbird, Tikanni Corazon |
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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