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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 9:18 am Post subject: |
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*Glares at C-Ren* The dog and the elephant! Are you trying to get rid of me? And where is the 'injured' dog? Not bleeding to death, in agonising pain, I hope?
Okay, DP time! Seeing as 'massage' was mentioned just beforehand, and Sofia is, of course, the super-tart, I think that she will seduce the boss, and possibly use that time to kill him, while Ron is sent to get 'it', if the blue-glowy thing is the 'it', of course, and possibly kill a few others while he's at it (especially the ones that shot that poor innocent dog, and the elephant!). Then they make another quick getaway, to the vets!
Although, Sofia does have a great, bloody gash across her stomach, so would the boss want her? Though. it doesn't seem to matter to Ron!
Great chapter, apart from the horrific violence against the animals! _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 3:53 pm Post subject: |
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I've not done with that bloody dog yet Tiks! Hehe.
Thanks for the idea, seems that using Sophia as a 'distraction' is the choice of er, choice.
Any other ideas get em in fast, I hope to write another one later on, though this depends on how drunk I am, with it being Friday and all.
Woooo! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 10:54 am Post subject: |
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Time for some fast bluffing methinks. He hasn't got much of a chance in a direct confrontation with any of the creatures. Even if he gets the better of, say, a pool full of sharks, there'll be goons waiting to make the odds impossible for him as he crawls out of the water.
So, he needs to give the impression that it's fine if they kill him, but please please please DON'T kill Sophia, she's just a stupid innocent kid that you dragged into this whole mess and he couldn't bear for anything to happen to her.
Typical villain? He'll love torturing Ron with the visuals of Sophia going first. That way there are two of them against the bad guys. Sophia actually stands a chance of fighting her way through the tiger enclosure and, even if she doesn't, the ringmaster's minions will possibly be distracted enough that Ron can grab his chance (or one of their guns) while the show is on.
As for what animal they throw Sophia to, I don't think it matters. She's meaner than the lot of em put together But if you want ideas, I'd say bears. They've got the brute strength, the agility, the size and the squeeze to make it into an interesting spectacle
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 12:42 pm Post subject: |
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Ooo! Yeah, that sounds interesting! Sofia, torn to pieces by bears! I second that! Good one Stoat!
I don't think that the ringmaster would be so distracted by that, that he would allow Ron to get away though. I'd say mabye they don't lock the cage/enclosure door properly and the bear/s manage to escape. Enraged bears = many dead psychopathic, dog-killing clowns! Then he might stand a chance of getting away.
Great chapter, C-Ren! _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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Tikanni Corazon wrote: | Ooo! Yeah, that sounds interesting! Sofia, torn to pieces by bears! I second that! Good one Stoat!
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I'm shocked and appalled by the violent suggestions!
Hehe. Nice one guys, I think we can do something with this oh yes! Mwaahaha. And of course, if one of those escaped bears happens to chance upon a bleeding dog... well, dog food could be used in a different way. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Phang Elder
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 1:31 pm Post subject: |
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Bears I like the sound of. They are, after all, the toughest beasts alive...apparently. _________________ Stuff here
Da Huuuuub
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:42 am Post subject: |
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What...what happened to the tearing, and the ripping, and the slashing to pieces of Sofia? I was looking foward to that!
And poor bears! And poor dog! Where is he?
I think that, for now, Ron should go along with Cheery. He got him out of this mess (in a rather brutal fashion, but he's out of it all the same!), and he needs to know who this Sara is anyway. And what did he do to fall out with her and the other agents? Something else that he needs to find out. And Cheery has just told him that they may be able to reverse his memory loss.
I say, go along with it, get his memory back, then he should have a better idea of whether he should give them 'it' or not. And Sofia dies before getting medical attention! (hee!hee!) As for 'it', I have no idea! Surprise me! The blue glowy-thingy sounds like some kind of power source. That's what I thought anyway when it was first mentioned.
And *puts on a dangerously calm voice*find the dog, and get him to a vet!
Great chapter C-Ren! And 'Walk in the Dark' was very good too! Very spooky! Right up my alley! _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:31 am Post subject: |
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Tikora wrote: | What...what happened to the tearing, and the ripping, and the slashing to pieces of Sofia? I was looking foward to that!
And Sofia dies before getting medical attention! (hee!hee!) |
You're a cruel and heartless person Tikki.
Tikko wrote: |
As for 'it', I have no idea! Surprise me! The blue glowy-thingy sounds like some kind of power source. That's what I thought anyway when it was first mentioned. |
Oh, I know what 'It' is! And power source! Nicely deducted!
TiCon wrote: |
And *puts on a dangerously calm voice*find the dog, and get him to a vet! |
Oh, I'm sure I'll find something to do with the dog. Oh yes. Mwah. Mwahaa. Mwahahahahahahahah! Etc.
Tikanni Corazon wrote: |
Great chapter C-Ren! And 'Walk in the Dark' was very good too! Very spooky! Right up my alley! |
Merci! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 10:18 am Post subject: |
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There further into this story we go, the more I have a feeling, that Ron may not be the good guy in all of this. But I do stress, may not.
I think he should feign unconsiousness, see what happens. And when he 'wakes up', he should pretend that his memory is still erased, and the machine has made no difference. I hope his memories continue to slowly filter back into his mind, drawing it out, rather than everything returning to him all at once.
Hey, maybe they could torture Sofia, to try and get some information out of him.
And, still, that poor little dog is slowly bleeding to death, somewhere in that bloody circus! Shame on you, C-Ren!
But great chapter all the same! Lots more info to work with! _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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Tazon wrote: | [color=indigo]There further into this story we go, the more I have a feeling, that Ron may not be the good guy in all of this. But I do stress, may not. |
Heh, well if you've read any of my other stories you'd konw it could go either way Tiks.
Tikki wrote: |
I think he should feign unconsiousness, see what happens. And when he 'wakes up', he should pretend that his memory is still erased, and the machine has made no difference. I hope his memories continue to slowly filter back into his mind, drawing it out, rather than everything returning to him all at once. |
Excellent, I can work with that.
Crayon wrote: |
Hey, maybe they could torture Sofia, to try and get some information out of him. |
I'm shocked and appalled at the violent attitude shown towards this kind young lady. That said, you can't go wrong with a bit of hot chick torture.
Cozy wrote: |
And, still, that poor little dog is slowly bleeding to death, somewhere in that bloody circus! Shame on you, C-Ren! |
I've been sick the last few days, so not been writing. Even now I'm not recovered. (Writing this on my laptop in bed).
Normal service will resume asap. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 4:48 am Post subject: |
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Awww! Poor C-Ren!
But , you know, now you kinda know how that dog feels. Sick, dying, probably in alot of pain.
Ha!Ha! Get well soon! _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 7:38 pm Post subject: |
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Apologies for the lack of updates, my sickness has taken longer to get over than I though. I'll hopefully get back on the horse very soon. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:22 am Post subject: |
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I wouldn't call many, many people getting shot unexciting C-Ren!
Speaking of people getting shot, I'm all for Ron putting a bullet through Smiths head. Get rid of him, and scarper (hopefully with dog in tow)! We're practically rid of Sofia too (hee!hee!).
I think that Ron needs to try and find this mysterious benefactor. He obviously knows all. Maybe given time, Ron might have some memory come back about this guy, and how to find him. Whether he finds him in the next chapter or not, that should be Rons plan when he leaves the circus.
Despite your illness, C-Ren, it was still a great chapter! Don't be so negative! _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 8:13 am Post subject: |
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Tell him nothing. The guy has already said the he is going to kill Ron (and the dog! *sob*), so why help him out in any way.
He's not going to get out of this one without someone elses help. It would have to be the mysterious benefactor, I can't think of anyone else. Sofia is hurt, and McPhoney, I don't see why he would have any reason to be there. But Ron and this other guy are obviously in this together, in some way. If he just wanted the machine, surely he wouldn't have helped Ron out. They must have some sort of business deal going, unless there is going to be a Starwars 'Luke-I'm-your-father' moment!
So, my idea - Tell the Ringmaster nothing, and have the mysterious benefactor turn up, and blow the bastards brains out! Preferably before the dog get hurt!
Nice chapter, C-Ren! And quick! Certainly making up for lost time! _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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Cruel advice as always Tikki! You're a hard woman. Are you sure you're not a spy?
Anyway, thank you for reading and suggesting. One point of your post was strangely close to the mark actually, but you'll have to wait to find out what!
As for that bloody dog... Mwahahahaa! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:41 pm Post subject: |
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Ooo! A time machine! Didn't see that one coming!
I've been trying, evening, to think of someone/something that wasn't obvious, as someone from SARA or the circus would have been. Not that those would be bad, but I just didn't want to state the obvious.
I say it is McPhoney, who all this time has been pretending to be one of the good guys, but has only been helping Ron out to get his own hands on It. Why....I'll have to have a think about that, and, perhaps, get back to you tomorrow or something. Though I'm sure your quite capable of figuring out a reason yourself.
Another great chapter C-Ren! Though it is Michael 'J' Fox, in Back to the Future
Now you can add Movie-Trivia-know-it-all, to cruel, hard and heartless! Don't I sound delightful! _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Tikanni Corazon Honored Citizen
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Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2010 3:59 pm Post subject: |
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Great final chapter, C-Ren!
I love the way it all came together in the end.
And the dog was okay! Yay!
Knew you wouldn't be that horrible! _________________ .... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:13 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks Tiks, glad you enjoyed! Thankyou for reading and suggesting too!
Tikanni Corazon wrote: |
And the dog was okay! Yay!
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Yes, I had planned on a horrible death for it, but never managed to quite fit it in. Ah well, next time. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Ingrothechundyer Royal Arch-Mage
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 9:19 am Post subject: |
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Chinaren wrote: | {removed} |
Hmm did the story get removed or am I missing something _________________ My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there...
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 2:19 pm Post subject: |
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Wow, Ingro! Loooong time no see!
Yes, I removed it from IF, but you can still catch the end of it here. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Ingrothechundyer Royal Arch-Mage
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2010 2:41 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks China. Yeah it has been quite a while. I'm almost suprised anyone even remembers me
Congratulations on your award
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