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Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen
Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Topics: 24 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:36 pm Post subject: Life at the Underworld |
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This is not a complete storygame. This is a experiment of something I have in my mind. I just want to see if it works out
Cillian Micah kicked and twisted in agony. He was just brutally attacked by The Special Defence Agency because they suspected him to be in possession of illegal drugs and weapons. He maintained that he didn't know how the drugs got there. He also claimed not to know how the weapons got there, but the officials had to take just one look at his track record to decide what to do.
Derek Jefferson had just handed in his report. A Black man by the name Cillian Micah had just been arrested. He was 6'4 and about 263 pounds. Plus, he had a track record of 18 robberies, 7 murders, and 2 attempted murders. The rest didn't even matter. Derek had not even seen the man, but he had got a tracker placed on him, and so, he knew exactly where he was. The green blip was moving towards High Security region, exactly where it should be. Derek smiled and took another sip of his coffee.
Cillian knew exactly where he was being taken. He had been there so many times, that it was hard to forget. At present, he was leading the cops, not the other way around. He also knew exactly how to get out. A evil smile curled up his lips, as he secretly took the tracker out. And then he carefully slid it into a Cop's pocket. The cop was coming with him. And he had no idea.
So, what do you think??? I know I haven't exactly given a DP, but, hey, its a experiment. Do you guys think this should be the NaNoWriMo one or just a storygame??? _________________
The eyes are useless if the mind is blind.
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Lebrenth Honored Citizen
Joined: 29 Dec 2005 Topics: 43 Posts: 1484 Location: Utah Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 12:59 pm Post subject: |
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You have an interesting situation, but the scenes are shooting past pretty fast. I can tell you have a lot of enthusiasm for writing, but it seems like you're describing a movie with sudden scene changes and a lot of action. In this medium, it's a little too much to follow. A little more information will help your reader to keep up and understand what's happening.
As for making it into a NaNoWriMo, absolutely. NaNoWriMo is for the writer more than for readers, so all you need is enthusiasm for the story. As a storygame, it could work, but you need to make a DP where the choices of the readers can be instrumental. For that, you need a situation where the story could really diverge from your original plan, or a difficult choice based on the information in the story.
Decision Points are everything for storygames, so it really doesn't matter what type of story it is as long as the DP's are good. _________________ Please visit my Library of completed works.
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Thunderbird Elder
Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Topics: 104 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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Here's my opinion, and it echoes some of what Lebby said above.
Save some ideas.
That's right. You don't have to use 'em all at once and as you grow over time as an author, you'll wish you had the ideas you used to have way back when. The better you get, the more you'll wish you could just start all over with an idea you've developed and sometimes it helps to just have a new one waiting in the wings.
That said, Nano is great practice. You'll find yourself stretching your descriptions to get more words in and that might get you to a point where you start including richer detail without it being a struggle.
So, I say try it as a nano. _________________
CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen
Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Topics: 24 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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Okay!
Thanks! I think im gonna go NaNo this year!!!!
Save some ideas?? ill try that out Tbird, but ithimk i really want to this right now!!!!!
If this was a SG, i would have written more for the first chapter. I love SG's because before i started writing SG's. i would usually find myself in a fix. And now, others help me out!
So, that's when it dawns on me that if your DP's are great, people will still play your game even if your writing style is not so good! _________________
The eyes are useless if the mind is blind.
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Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen
Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Topics: 24 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 8:31 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, fellas!
Ive got a plot set in my mind and im definitely going NaNo this year!! _________________
The eyes are useless if the mind is blind.
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Thunderbird Elder
Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Topics: 104 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends
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Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen
Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Topics: 24 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 11:30 pm Post subject: |
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hmm........!!
I'm not gonna get burnt out in a month! _________________
The eyes are useless if the mind is blind.
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