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The Powers That Be Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 May 2005 Topics: 16 Posts: 545 Location: Santa Monica, CA Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 11:30 am Post subject: |
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His friends are just stupid enough to go off and try to defend that caravan. He's still not joining their ridiculous Circle, but he can't let them walk into certain death without trying to help. _________________ Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 8:57 pm Post subject: |
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So sorry I haven't been commenting alot. I just read the chapters then go skateboard. I vote to defendeth the caravan. More action! _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 12:53 pm Post subject: |
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OK so the poll is over and Trengin is going to defend the caravan.
Look out for that chapter on Tuesday 29th - although that is my graduation day so I may be late.
Norral's fight to take over the Bridge is due out in two days. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:15 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | Look out for that chapter on Tuesday 29th - although that is my graduation day so I may be late. |
I think we all know which one is more important here, so don't you be worrying about graduating.
Anyway, I thought you were too old to learn new things?! What, if I may ask, are you graduating from?
Congrats anyway!
Looking forward to the new chapter! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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Damn, I missed the vote. but it doesn't matter, my option won anyway. Smee is in college, Chinaren. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 10:08 pm Post subject: |
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I graduated in BSc Computer Science in the summer, it just takes my University 6 months to arrange a time to hand us a certificate. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 5:07 am Post subject: |
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Great stuff! Keep fighting! There really isn't much choice!
Your tense problem rose slightly in a couple of places, this one esp:
He's my second in command.
Good stuff, curse it! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 5:39 am Post subject: |
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Here's a few points of technicality while I'm trying to come up with something intelligent...
Quote: |
"Once inside maintain your personal shield... (etc.) We'll, until the final few anyway." |
We'll=well?
Quote: | "Moving forward," I commanded and we ran across the final hundred yards as more arrows fly from the storm in every direction. Only two make it near us, one disintegrating on the shield. |
tense=past then present
Quote: | Shannon was fast and cast the wall as the first arrow sailed through. Mulim was a second behind and the glowing shield caught the rest of the arrows. With horror I stare at the black-feathered arrow as it plunged through the back of Karak's head |
past-present again
Happy Reader-Tormenting!
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Topics: 58 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 6:36 am Post subject: |
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Okay, we’re inside, we’re wreaking havoc, and some mage has started a counter attack. New priority- eliminate that mage. Focus on the Keep, and then worry about stragglers later.
Maintain the shield as best you can, instructing some to focus on defense against anything that might get through should the shield fail again. Then you and Teron, and perhaps one other, focus your efforts on ridding your team of the problems in the Keep.
I'll consult the the resident warmonger here and if he sheds any new light on the situation I'll be sure to post it. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 7:12 am Post subject: |
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Is there any kind of location magic, to identify where the enemy mage is casting from? If not, can we use some sort of modification of the bridge-shield magic, so that magic bounces back visibly when cast against it, using that to point out his direction?
I'd agree with Fauna that you have to get rid of the other side's magic-user, but unless we can find him/her, we're firing just as blind as the soldiers in the sandstorm were.
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 7:34 am Post subject: |
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Quote: | From the distant keep it stormed towards our shield, quickly overtaking the approaching arrows. |
Unless I mis-read, this seems to indicate that the magic originated from the direction of the Keep. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 8:41 am Post subject: |
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ethereal_fauna wrote: |
Unless I mis-read, this seems to indicate that the magic originated from the direction of the Keep. |
I was assuming the fort was still relatively big, even when we got there. If necessary, we can get in and then start searching... but it would be nice if there was something more direct in terms of getting our bearings
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Suneila Guest
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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Some of the technicalities that weren't mentioned yet:
Quote: | The all ended up with upturned palms nested together in the centre of them. |
I know what you're trying to say with this one, but it just seems inherently wrong to me to have ice, a solid, running.
Quote: | With horror I stare at the black-feathered arrow as it plunged through the back of Karak's head, |
This is probably a typo not a tense problem.
Quote: | As a whole we moved forward, my squad extinguishing any life that appeared, the stench of burning flesh everywhere. |
Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate this pun of extinguishing with fire.
I agree with ethereal and shady. The mage is definitely the new priority. Now that a mage has been killed, retreating is not an option, and the mage is their greatest threat. They must kill the mage.
~sunny
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 9:02 pm Post subject: |
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Well, if they have a mage...we must have some plan against mages, right? right? I guess not. Well, we can try to fling him out of the magic dome, and then have one person concentrate on blocking him out so he can't come in or use his magic. The rest of the team (remaining 8 people apart from shield people) can concentrate on soldiers. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 9:32 am Post subject: |
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New poll is up, apologies for it being a little late.
It will run for 3 days.
I didn't get many ideas for this one so I've added in my ideas as well.
The next chapter is due out on Tuesday, where we will find out what happens to Trengin when he follows Roah and Srune to defend the caravan if it gets attacked.
Due to my graduation ceremony I won't be able to keep to that deadline. Maybe Wednesday but we'll see. It'll be as soon as I can.
Happy Voting. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 1:12 pm Post subject: |
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I vote to destroy the keep.
I seem to have missed the chapter coming out and you did a nice job writing it .
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 2:18 am Post subject: |
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Love the new place, just need an image and you're good to go. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 3:01 am Post subject: |
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*snuffles around*
Nice place, Smee. Now that you've got your own pad, just remember one thing:
Firebolts are for use outside the premises!
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 4:55 am Post subject: |
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Looking good Smee
*wanders off to throw a firebolt at last month's SGotM poll now that this forum is created*
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 5:18 am Post subject: |
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*looks around through slitted eyes* Yes. Very nice. :mrgreen:
*Surreptitiously sticks a flyer for his new storygame on the wall and stalks out in a huff* _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Sorrow_A Guest
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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AAaaaaaww, don't be mad chinaren. Just because Smee's story was better doesn't mean you have to get all angered.
*drinks vanilla coke* *looks at poll* *drinks more vanilla coke* *leaves*
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Idea master Magus Extraordinaire
Joined: 10 May 2004 Topics: 46 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 5:42 pm Post subject: |
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Hum diddly dum.
This is my idere to tie in the two stories. Have the caraven not leave just yet due to the attacking mages or fear thereof.
And of course, somehow get rid of the mage. Not by directly assulting him, he'll have defended against that. No, just cause the earth to swallow him whole or the air to throw him away.
Preferably the second one. More screaming that way. _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil.
...No plans yet.
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Hyperion Guest
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Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 2:21 am Post subject: |
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Mhm, good place, needs a homing pigeon. It is the Time Before The Battle To The End(TBTBTTE).
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 5:39 am Post subject: |
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Darn I missed the vote. Smee, great story, you have, I read all the chapters all in one go. I like how you have parallel stories going on, makes for an interesting read from two different perspectives. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 10:16 pm Post subject: |
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Hey all,
As you have probably noticed, my victory appears at the same time my ambition to produce a story to featured storygame rules has died.
Life has got in the way, and I fear christmas will too.
So my plan is to produce the next two chapters that you guys have already voted and decided on, and then set a decision point to last over christmas which will be taken up in the new year.
Happy Reading. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 2:10 am Post subject: |
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Quote: | As you have probably noticed, my victory appears at the same time my ambition to produce a story to featured storygame rules has died. |
Bloody part timer! Steals my victory then boggers off to eat turkey...
I will have my revenge*!!! <waves fist in the air dramatically> Hahahahahhaaa! <Diabolical laughter>
*Although I am not sure how. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 2:35 am Post subject: |
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mmmmmm turkey.
Quote: | Hahahahahhaaa! <Diabolical laughter> |
Far easier to just go "Mwahahahaha" for diabolical laughter.
Pay my rent (RL rent not IF rent ) for me and I'll gladly become full-time. I will also require spending money, and badger handling fees
Happy Revenge plotting. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Guest
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 2:41 am Post subject: |
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Quote: | and badger handling fees |
I am not going to ask!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 2:43 am Post subject: |
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Anonymous wrote: | Quote: | and badger handling fees |
I am not going to ask! |
Me, un-logged in due to browser restart.
We should have some big flashing sign pop up when we aren't logged in! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 6:12 am Post subject: |
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Hmm maybe we should all plot to keep Chinaren from wining so the same thing doesn't happen again
Glad to hear that your going to start back up full time after Christmas Smee
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 6:21 am Post subject: |
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Never fear! I am going nowhere, unless they drag me off* kicking and screaming!
The Xmas season is a pretty much non-event here, so except for a few outings out to bars, I doubt you will see any major drop in the frequency of my posts. Mind you, perhaps people may want to see less of my ugly mug around here!
*You never can tell. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 7:04 am Post subject: |
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Hey everyone,
Guilt*, and inspiration** have hit, and I started chapter 7. If you are all good then I should have it done in a day or two.
I also have an idea for a quick catch up with the Captain from the Introduction (without a decision point) to tied you over during Christmas.
Between Christmas and New Years I'll have little to do and you are likely to get another chapter then as well, but I'll probably do a Battle to the End Gorin chapter instead.
Quote: | perhaps people may want to see less of my ugly mug around here! |
Actually I'm quite intrigued what the ugly mug of a crazy person like you actaully looks like. Now where is that pic's thread?
Happy Writing.
* Not all that much, Mwahahaha
** Bored at lunch _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 6:02 am Post subject: |
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Chapter 7 now up here
Happy Reading. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
Last edited by Smee on Tue Dec 27, 2005 4:06 am; edited 2 times in total
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 6:19 am Post subject: |
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Excellent (the small fire worked )
Shame to lose the advantage of surprise by countering the fireball in a noticable way, but you're not quite so valuable if you can't save lives AND prevent capture/destruction of the caravan.
Allow the fireball to run its course, and scatter the soldiers. As mentioned, not a gentle approach but the soldiers will live. A good tactic if possible- make it appear as if there are more than three of you present.
Quickly assign tasks and split up- one to prevent destruction of the caravan, one to locate the source of the attack, and one to communicate with the captain. Then regroup and concentrate on eliminating the Sempa one at a time. Two of you should work offence and one defense, as it is doubtful that you could simply hide your location once you begin your counterattack. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 6:45 am Post subject: |
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*narrows eyes suspiciously at Smee*
I'm not entirely convinced we have the advantage of surprise. Something was stopping Trengin from looking too far afield on their journey here. The last time his magic was blocked, it was by other Mages.
IF that's the case this time (and presuming they aren't other good souls with the same idea as Roah and Srune), then they already know Trengin and co. are here, and how many of them there are.
In any case, whether it is or not... then I think we shouldn't lose sight of the real goal. Nobody is going to congratulate us at the end of the battle if we've saved the soldiers but lost the caravan of books. Hard-hearted it may be, but those soldiers were dead men before we arrived, and they may well be dead men after we've finished.
Books first, people later.
Excellent chapter, mate!
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 6:59 am Post subject: |
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If there really are soldiers standing by the wagons then not dispelling the fireball could be dangerous as they think were infiltrators and burn the wagon before we can get to it.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 7:12 am Post subject: |
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That is one thing to consider - the vast majority have no idea there are suddenly mages working on their side. Arrows could appear from scared guards, wild sword swings etc.
I think once you are sure the Sempa are aware of you, then some sort of impressively visual defence is needed to announce your side to the troops.
However, it's up to you. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 9:41 am Post subject: |
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Okay. Chapter 7 looks a bit on the long side. Just skimming through it looks great, I will post again to give you a more detailed opinion. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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How does Norral answer the guard? |
Humbly deny all knowledge of any Sempa? |
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42% |
[ 3 ] |
Explain that your fire was throwing up a lot of sparks last night? Easily mistaken for fireballs at a distance. |
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14% |
[ 1 ] |
Sempa killed your family. You're heading straight to the Capital to complain and demand recompense? |
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28% |
[ 2 ] |
Author option (DO NOT USE) |
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14% |
[ 1 ] |
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Total Votes : 7 |
Who Voted: algu95, Chinaren, D-Lotus, DeadManWalking, Key, Reiso, Smee |
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