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 Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 12:24 pm Post subject: |
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Author's Note: Ok, with the route set sothernwards here is the next Chapter of Elvendor. Please don't forget to add Elvendor to your favourites, it is also running in SGotM - so if you think it deserves to win then please don't forget to vote.
Chapter 12: Ambush
A lone figure sat staring out across the rough ceramic sea, that chopped and foamed to the distant horizon. His feet swung idly over the edge of the cliff, as he sat perched precariously on the edge. Yet he remained staring calmly south, unperturbed by the vast fall to the grainy shingle floor below. Despite such a drop, the sounds of the sea pushing and pulling upon the stones below with somber roars of exertion continued to crash and roll over him. It was an ever present noise, unlike the occasional high throttled squawk of a circling black gull.
Finally with a sigh Regen rose, levering himself up, until he stood tall against the pulsing, shifting, backdrop in front of him. Gail flapped her wings slightly, excited at the prospect of moving on. For the past few days they had wandered west along the coast, towards the silent mountains, viewing the wild untamed sea that washed by. As they turned to head west again Regan continued to seethe at himself for losing the pair so easily.
He had eventually found the trapdoor that they must have gone down, hidden beneath its earthy vale, but it was locked and wouldn’t yield. Not that he had tried too hard to pry it open, for the way was sure to be guarded, although by what he had no idea. Having seen the signs of a scuffle upon the floor he hadn't wanted to find out. Repeatedly he had sent Gail out to scan the surroundings but she could find nothing. Since then he had been heading South, until he reached the coast, then west, exploring land previously unseen to human eyes. His mind though had been diverted elsewhere for the last few days. Ever since a ship had appeared on the very edge of the horizon.
It had been hard to tell much about it, bar the fact that it appeared not to have any sails. It stayed in the distance for a whole day, then vanished from sight during the night, leaving Regan to ponder over what it might mean. At least he would have interesting information for Constantine…be it not the information he wanted.
Once again he sent Gail to the air, saying in his soft voice, “Let’s try again Gail, I’ll still be along the coast going West.” He watched her black frame scurry away beneath the rising sun, off to hunt a prey that was so far proving to be more than a little elusive, and quite possibly dead he added to himself gloomily.
* * *
Elvendor continued to lead amongst the tricky terrain. The land near the mountains was both beautiful and wild. Various running rivers, steep ledges, sprightly falls and thick patchy forests had to be negotiated. At about mid – day they stopped for lunch upon an exposed hill top, overlooking a smooth, peaceful river below. A little way down the gentle slope of the hill the pine forest resumed, trees poking out at all heights, as though they were spectators trying to get a better view of the company seated before them.
There was the sound of hungry silence as all bit into and chewed upon their lunch, vegetable and rabbit pies. They tasted wonderful cold, it was left to their imaginations how much better they would have been hot. As Elvendor ate he looked to his right at the peaked mountains, they stretched a little further on, then only blue sky filled the space above the trees…probably about a days travel away.
By the end of the meal upon setting off, no –one had said a word, an indication of how true the saying ‘two’s company, three’s a crowd’ is. Beyond the mundane conversation that had quickly been exhausted by the three no – one felt able to comment further. Perhaps in a way it suited all of them, Elvendor was used to little talk from his elfin background, Alex had rarely had anyone he felt like talking to and Simeon rarely had to talk to anyone. It was Simeon surprisingly who was providing most of the small flow of conversation as they traveled.
“This is about where I broke of following the group,” he said as they started off towards the inviting privacy of the woods ahead, “I had to return to ensure no others were approaching…” He broke off, noticing Elvendor was gazing into the clear sky with a briefly puzzled look. Simeon looked up to see nothing but an empty sky with the occasional bird winging about. A small black bird circled over the group, emitting a small caw, then winged off Southwards. Elvendors gaze followed it, then he shrugged and focused his eyes on where they were heading. “What was it?” Simeon asked, puzzled. Elvendor didn’t at first seem to hear him then replied,
“Oh, probably nothing, it was just that the bird seemed out of place for these surroundings…It just looked foreign, and besides I’m sure it rings bells from earlier…” Unsure how to respond Simeon nodded slightly, and all three passed into the woods, the bird lost amongst more immediate thoughts that rushed floated amongst them as they slipped through the woods.
* * *
It was a full day later that they made it to the ground south of the mountains. If they were hoping for clearer land then they were to be disappointed, if anything the woodland was thicker here, although gradually there had been a steady increase of different trees, oaks, whirmps (giant thick brown trees, not as tall as whimen which are the trees used by elves for houses), sworls (white bark, with weeping willow leaves and pink bloom) and of course the seemingly ever present pines. The land had flattened out, sloping downwards from right to left towards the sea, journeying as a result becoming easier. As they continued on Elvendor began to get two separate sensations swirl about his thoughts.
Are we being followed, watched…? He glanced backwards but there was not a sign of anyone…but then there wouldn’t be if they were good…stop it you’re becoming paranoid…why do I keep getting the feeling I’ve been here before…it all seems somehow familiar.
He was still trying to overcome the sense of déjà vu when a voice, sweet and clear, like a fresh spring, fell down upon the travelers, causing them to halt in surprise. The words spoken were in a stangely accented form of elfinish, so only Elvendor could understand.
“Travelers, this is a surprise…we haven’t had any pass by this way for a long time, so I’m told. Why do you pass this way strangers?” Elvendor had looked up, to see the most beautiful elfin women he had ever seen. She wore the traditional elfin green, and was armed with a bow, sitting astride one of the thick branches of a whirmp, peering down at them with an intense mixture of curiosity and laughter. Elvendor could feel himself starting to blush, only just managing to contain the urge, at the cost of being completely tongue tied. It was made all the more embarrassing as Alex and Simeon watched on waiting for him to respond.
The girl smiled, tossing her aubern hair slightly, a gesture that nearly caused Elvendor’s heart to stop, and almost undoing his valiant efforts not to blush as she said,
“Do you not speak or understand the elfin language elf?” She asked patiently, this time Elvendor managed to stammer a reply,
“Yes…I do, sorry, my name is Elvendor, this is Simeon and this is Alex, who are you?” The elf’s eyes lit up when she heard him reply,
“Oh so you do talk, I was starting to wonder,” she said arching her eyebrow slightly, “my name is Emerdia daughter of Ashkonen, head of the elves who live within these woods. We have a camp a little way south from here; I’m one of the many who keeps watch for approaching…” Suddenly her whole body seemed to stiffen, swiftly she dropped to the ground, crouching over and placing her ear to the floor. As she did so high pitched whistles began ringing out to the East, several joining together in a harmony of wails. Rising to her feet her face was a little paler, “I didn’t hear them approaching, finding you here distracted me…” Even as she spoke figures flooded the distant woods around them, coming down the slope from the north. Hurrying, scurrying, dark creepy figures. Flashes of metal, glints of spear tips, soft padding of leathery feet, the rasping of haggard breath.
Can we retreat, perhaps use the trees? But Alex and Simeon probably aren’t exactly mobile at swinging between trees. Emerdia pulled out her own thin reed like whistle and blew into it, adding to the voluminous warning that vibrated south down through the sloping forest to where the other elves were camped out. Already though, it was too late to save them from the imminent attack.
A group of five hunched figures came loping down towards them, as they drew closer Elvendor could see the shifty beady eyes, pig like sickly green faces and rough rubbery skin. They wore dull silver helmets, carried rough and jagged spears with sharp metal prongs and wore crude metal chain mail. They tried to move in formation, but as to what formation, that was anyone’s guess. One of them generally led the group forward though, and it was clear that he had them locked on as targets. Letting out a vicious, gruff, bellowed cry of warring aggression, he led the others on, saliva drooling from his gasping mouth and flinging itself into the dense shrubbary that sporadically clustered about the woodland.
Well we can take out five easily enough, thought Elvendor as he whipped out his bow and took an arrow from behind his back, presumably these are trolls or goblins from the mountains. Instinctively he felt his mind say goblins, although he had no idea why he should be right. Alex had unsheathed his sword and was circling round the tree Emerdia had been seated on, to be able to hack into them from the side. Emerdia too had unsheathed a bow and was already loosing an arrow. Simeon was standing back looking lost, perhaps trying to work out how to help. With a sharp twanging noise the arrow left Emerdia’s bow and took down one of the goblins, Alex’s sword came down upon another and Elvendor’s arrow took out a third. Then the other two set upon them. Elvendor saw a spear thrust at him, ducking and falling he rolled to the left – the spear missing by inches. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the leader fall, slain by a second arrow fired at close quarters by Emerdia. The final goblin was trying to pin him down, then it slumped and fell dead. Shocked Elvendor looked round, Alex stood holding a gun…suddenly Elvendor realized that he must have picked it up from where Mike had dropped it in the tunnel, no one had thought to search him for it whilst they were in the City of Haven. Still, it had certainly come in handy here, and as long as he kept it hidden from the general public…
Getting quickly to his feet his heart sunk, those five were but the first. Already, drawn by the battle cry of the previous goblins, many more were descending. They couldn’t outrun them – at least Alex and Simeon couldn’t and at least ten or twenty were converging upon them. The clearest indication they were in trouble was Emerdia’s face which wore a worried frown, he knew she could escape easily if she wanted to…yet she stayed. What should he say or do, how could they escape the horde that padded ruthlessly around them. He glanced again and saw Alex had had to duck and roll from a spear thrust, attempting to fire into the goblin, only to realize that the gun could carry just the one bullet. Abandoning the gun he slashed at the goblin and more by luck than skill severed its legs from under it, scrambling backwards and to his feet as the foe drew nearer.
Elvendor loosed another arrow, trying to think of a way out, they had hardly any time before they would be hemmed in and surrounded…support would arrive but not in time as things stood…
What should they do?
Last edited by JezSharp on Mon Nov 20, 2006 3:10 pm; edited 6 times in total
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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Hurrah! Another chapter.
Firstly:
| Quote: |
A lone figure sat staring out across the rough ceramic sea, that chopped and foamed, as far as the eye could see. His feet swung idly over the edge of the cliff as he sat, perched precariously on the edge. Yet he remained staring calmly southwards, unperturbed by the vast drop to the grainy shingle floor below. Despite such a distance, the sounds of the sea pushing and pulling upon the stones below with somber roars of exertion, continued to crash and roll over him. |
I think this paragraph has several commas that feel wrongly placed. They seem to break up the sentences in odd places. 
| Quote: | | Gail flapping her wings slightly, |
Flapped?
Prey.
...A few others as well. Not as flowing as your usual chapters Jez.
Anyway, tought DP. Not really sure what choice they have. Perhaps the elves can run for help, hoping the others can survive long enough. It seems a simple choice of run or fight and hope help comes.
Do any of them have any magic or science that can help?
Mmm. Nope. I'm out.
I will return if I can think of anything else.
Oh. And yoh! A babe! 
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solus.serpen
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 6:35 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Firstly:
Quote:
A lone figure sat staring out across the rough ceramic sea, that chopped and foamed, as far as the eye could see. His feet swung idly over the edge of the cliff as he sat, perched precariously on the edge. Yet he remained staring calmly southwards, unperturbed by the vast drop to the grainy shingle floor below. Despite such a distance, the sounds of the sea pushing and pulling upon the stones below with somber roars of exertion, continued to crash and roll over him.
I think this paragraph has several commas that feel wrongly placed. They seem to break up the sentences in odd places. |
I can only really find one comma in that paragraph that is placed wrongly.
| Quote: | A lone figure sat staring out across the rough ceramic sea, that chopped and foamed, as far as the eye could see.
|
Just leave that comma out and it will be fine.
Oh, and
| Quote: | | Despite such a distance, the sounds of the sea pushing and pulling upon the stones below with somber roars of exertion, continued to crash and roll over him. |
Leave that comma out too. It doesn't make sense where you have put it, but now the sentence is too long. Maybe you could shorten your lovely description of the pushing and pulling sea?
Anyway, I don't feel in the mood to sort through the whole chapter searching for mistakes.
I thought that the chapter was fine, and I especially love the picture of the mountains, lake and trees  .
Not so sure about the elf-lady pic though .
Not sure what they should do either, could you perhaps elaborate on their current choices? So far there is only really run or fight.
Anyway, great new chappy 
Solus
P.S. OOC: ((Jez, The CD's have come!!!! !!!))
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JezSharp
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 6:48 am Post subject: |
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Already corrected the comma mistakes, bizarrely before you had posted
Elaborate...ok...I was wondering if there were going to be some more imaginative solutions...I can think of a few, Chinaren was quite close to one potentially useful idea. Stand and fight with weapons through to blindly run in panic are probably the two ends of a rather large spectrum of options I would of thought , I'm reluctant to comment on other options in between though as it would be me imposing all of my ideas upon the situation rather than the readers...and even in running there are various options, do they abandon Simeon and Alex as Lordy suggests, do they hope they can somehow throw them into a tall tree and run and get help - and the same is true should they choose to fight, how can they best carry that out...etc.
Anyway if there aren't enough options suggested then I'll add some to the poll, but I'd be disappointed if there weren't enough...
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 6:59 am Post subject: |
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Well, I safely missed two chapters, but I think they should just fight as much as they can and buy time for Simeon to create an illusiong to scare the goblins off. They seem able to kill them quite easily, and if they can scare some off then they can win this battle.
I think.
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solus.serpen
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:07 am Post subject: |
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Oh! Thanks, Jez. you just gave me an idea.
They must all climb trees!
The two elves can shoot at the goblins who try and climb up the trees after them, and simeon can make illusions, causing confusion and hopefully scaring them off.
Great idea. *beams*
Solus
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solus.serpen
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| Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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MMHMMMM, True...but they do have armour and spears which would slow them down - and at least it gives them a hope!
Solus.
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| Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | And just hope the goblins can't climb trees? Goblins are good at climbing - just watch LotRs. |
But this isn't LotRs, so goblins here might not have the same attributes...as it is, here goblins can climb...but rather comically and certainly not effectively...of a more pressing concern would be that they might take to chopping or burning down the tree.
Just to clarify currently the suggestions are:
1) Have Elvendor and Emerdia run and leave Alex and Simeon to fight off the goblins by themselves.
2) Stand and fight whilst Simeon tries to conjures up an illusion.
3) Climb up a tree and have Simeon tries to cast an illusion.
I think 2 can be merged into 3 as being up a tree is clearly an advantage time wise, in which case what sort of illusion or otherwise should Simeon try to come up with?
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| Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 1:31 pm Post subject: |
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Whew, just finished reading all twelve chapters. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed, but I must say Elvendor's adventures are extremely entertaining.
There is still much room for development, but I like the way that there is a faint constant plot which is leading somewhere, and not just erratic adventures.
For the DP, I would have to agree to get Simeone to make an illusion to scare them away.Perhaps something as simple as making them invisible so that they can run away, or maybe create a scary monster on our side.
Anyway, good writing.
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| Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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Wow, I lost track of this story and missed a few chapters.
I think that they should get up a tree as quickly as possible, assisted by Simeon's illusions. The trees are quite thick, so arrows being rained down, and confusing and frightening special effects from Simeon, should be enough to stop them cutting it down or stacking enough dry wood to make a fire that would catch the tree (in what seems to be a rather damp climate).
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| Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 4:13 am Post subject: |
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Thanks D , glad you've both caught up .
Ok, New Poll will be going up based mainly on what illusion Simeon is to cast (with running away as the other option). There are three types of 'heavy energy' manipulation which he may be able to cast - with potentially varying degrees of sucess:
Light/sound illusions: Includes bright lights (as with the disappearence of giant skeleton), projected noises, and the creation of 'smokescreens' and invisibility - the latter though will probably take more time and effort to create - in order to deceive and confuse the goblins. In general should be easy to perform and use up relatively little 'heavy energy'.
Creation of Illusionary monster (s) - take up nearly all his time and effort to make it convincing, use reasonable amount of 'heavy energy' in process.
Creation of Real monster (s) - take up almost all 'heavy energy' in area and all time and effort to create, obviously more dangerous to the goblins than an illusionary one that they may see through.
Note: The poll assumes they will scramble up a tree if they decide to stay and have Simeon use his manipulation of energy skills.
Also feel free to suggest any ideas about monsters, or illusions that he could come up with.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:30 am Post subject: |
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| lordofthenight wrote: | | I thought you hated fireworks? |
Only the loud ones, 'cos they scare me. 
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| Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 1:45 pm Post subject: |
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A quick flash is all we need. It'll buy time and can be easily created. If the goblins are anything like the yams (those bull creatures), they might even be scared away by some noises. They've lost their leader, after all. In any case, the flash can give Simeone time to make something scarier.
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| Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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I voted light and sound.
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JezSharp
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| Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 3:00 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | They've lost their leader |
Not exactly, the leader of the group of five that approached them was lost, but goblins tend to form sub groups (Probably clan/family based) when going into battle so that there army is made up of mini groups with a leader of each mini group. The leader of the whole army will be the one in charge of the strongest mini group. Probably doesn't make much difference to the poll, but just helps to add to the detail.
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| Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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Let all the wrath of those who appose the reign of nature (i.e., A.I., though it may need to be fantasyed a bit) come down!
Great story. Throw in a giant chicken. I always say that on my posts, but I think it may seriously fit into this realm. Of course, it has to be a giant chicken with a purpose, not just something that goes "Braaaaawck" for comedic value.
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| Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:25 pm Post subject: |
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masterweaver, your giant chicken idea doesn't seem to fit into any of the stories you post it on!
if you create a real monster, how do u know that it won't turn and fight them (ie, elvendor + gang)
if it takes up all of simeons energy, then he won't be able to escape very fast, will he?
da elf girl is a bit unpredictable. she might just abandon elvendor + gang and run into da woods
it wouldn't be very nice if the elves ran away and left simeon + friend
joy 
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JezSharp
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| Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 2:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | if you create a real monster, how do u know that it won't turn and fight them (ie, elvendor + gang)
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Top marks for observation joyfull , that's almost exactly what would have happened if the votes had gone down that road, chiefly as Simeon has had little experience (certainly not recently) in creating real objects let alone monsters - and going back a number of Chapters the results of Simeon's father's initial forrays into such a creation (the dragon at the monastry that he lost control of, with the result that four men died) - it's fair to assume that Simeon would have as little or less control over the minds of any living creations.
Anyway the poll seems to be decided in favour of illusions of a more basic nature, so I will close it down and proceed on writing the next Chapter - Traveler's Past .
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| Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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Fine, alright, the stroys great, the giant chicken won't work..
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Sarothen, Mesoli, Gerastro
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(0)-_-(0)
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D-Lotus
Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA
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| Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:34 pm Post subject: |
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Wow, featured storygame! That holds a lot of responsibility! Cool.
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Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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solus.serpen
Respected Citizen
Joined: 21 Jul 2006
Topics: 7
Posts: 608
Location: UK
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| Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 11:41 pm Post subject: |
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Yep, Well done, Jez! .
Looking forward to the next chapter
~Solus
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Ogden the Octopus has hijacked my avatar image
chapter 6 of DESTINY - a super old SG which won't continue...but there are a full 6 chapters if you feel like reading something with no ending!
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Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
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JezSharp
Respected Citizen
Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Topics: 31
Posts: 592
Location: The middle of anywhere...
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| Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 4:44 am Post subject: |
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| Locking this thread as Chapter 13 has come out.
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