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scissorkitty
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 Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:48 pm Post subject: Indelible- chapter 17- NOW POLLING! |
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ChapterSeventeen
Leah landed in the clearing, soft footed, and wracked her estranged brains into some sort of functional order. Too many thoughts swirled in her starry depths, too many questions and worries waged conflict inside her. She shuddered softly, wrapping her wings tight around her body, and focused her eyes on George, still sleeping.
Remains of the days activities scattered the campsite, the wineskins lay beside a neat stack of now-dessicated fruit munchables. The air, still in the darkness, held only the soft whuffing sound of breath in the night.
Leah sighed again, and reached a hand towards the most empty of the papers. Moving more on instinct and dream-logic, than actual thought, she plucked a feather from the stray edge of her left hand wing- wincing at the strange sensation of loss- and dipped it in a little puddle of mud and mulch nearby. Putting tip to paper, she began to write.
George- you are awesome, and I am not. I am.. something else. This is just a dream, so I'm sure you'll just go back to whatever braincells you came from- but I appologise for abandoning you. Something is happening to me here and I need to just.. I have to go. Sorry. I..
She began to write more, than shrugged and scratched it out. Whatever. If this was some sort of drugged-tea induced lucid dreaming thing, Dream George wouldn't need her to explain. He wouldn't need anything.
He's not REAL, dummy.
Her voice hissed, feather soft, across the midnight clearing, and the forest sighed softly back- it would comfort the lost come morning.
* * * * *
Liam and Dina stood, stretching, into the warm dimness of their cozy enclave. The fire, suspiciously never needing new fuel, crackled gleefully and began to swirl new tones into its shimmering depths. Green. Gold. Black. Fire gave way to daylight, which gave way to morning's dawn in the strange Dream Forest.
* * * * *
George shifted in his sleep, his hand groping to the left in search of warmth, softness, and Leah. Even unconscious, he felt a need to be near her- something he knew from his normal, waking life- something that felt more and more exaggerated as this strange dream dragged on. Soil collected unpleasantly under his nails, and a niggling sense of loneliness and distance began to drag him from his murky slumber.
A few feet away, Leah's note rustled softly in the early morning breeze, held down by the collected remains of yesterday's fruit packets. Her feather, starry black with a trace of bronze along the quill, lay pinned amongst the nibbles. It sparkled slightly in the dewy gloaming light.
(Okay- it's been a while, so lets make this a gently re-entry to the story! George is about to awake, and is obviously already feeling the lack of Leah. What does he do when he reads the letter? REMEMBER- he wished to "make Leah happy"... so what he does might not necessarily reflect HIS needs. ))
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......back and forth.....
Last edited by scissorkitty on Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:38 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:14 am Post subject: |
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Argh! Another SG to catch up on. So many projects, so little time.
Must catch up... can't get distracted... head exploding...
*BOOM!*
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 8:39 am Post subject: |
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What can he do? Sit and wait? The note she left will seem completely random to him. He may probably start to come to the same conclusion as Leah has - that this is a drug-induced dream, and that she (and the feather) are not real.
If he thinks in this way, then he'll wonder how to get out of the dream, and he may consider going back to the log cabin where they first woke up, with all the furs. But he'll take the feather with him.
Good to see this one back and running, Skitty! 
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scissorkitty
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| Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:38 pm Post subject: |
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oo... you put a lot of options in there, Crunchy!
Um, you are totally following my personal line of thought- that each of them are thinking it's a dream, and that the other person isn't real. Don't forget, though, about each of their wishes- it might affect your ideas.
Leah wished to understand her dreams better
George wished to make Leah happy....
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think George really can do much here. If he wants to make Leah happy, all he can do is wait (assuming he realizes what will actually make Leah happy, that is)
If he can't figure out what she wants, he may try to find her. Just wander through the forest, calling her name. If he really needs to be close to her that much, I feel like that may be a valid possibility.
Just my two cents. Glad to see this up again Skitty!
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scissorkitty
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| Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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I feel like polling! The writing bug has bitten me.
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:52 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm...
What exactly would searching proactively entail? I mean, he doesn't seem to have many hints to her whereabouts...
Unless the longing he feels can guide him... 
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scissorkitty
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| Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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I guess, proactively would be setting out on a concentrated search- looking for her, and then moving on, amassing clues... that sort of thing.
as opposed to just wandering around shouting, and seeing what happens.
I get your drift, though. Do you have a different suggestion, and I could alter the poll a bit?
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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Nah, Not sure what suggestion to replace it with. And it makes sense that looking actively, as in trying to track her down (which might be a little difficult since she has wings >.<) would be a different option than wandering around calling. So I guess that's fine.
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 5:52 pm Post subject: |
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Ok... just read the whole thing front to back. I was entranced by this tale from the beginning. It has grown a bit strange to me in the most recent chapters... I wonder if this dream will end or if it is the basis of the story itself. I still wonder if she can manifest her wings in the real world or if her experience in the morning was just a dream at the time. Yes, you've left a lot to be curious about.
Your writing style is incredibly entertaining as well. There are tiny little errors dotting the landscape there but aren't the sort to foul up a good read, just something to catch later as you go through editing with a fine tooth comb. The incredibly short chapters do make it easier to absorb, though I must think you would have to struggle with creating DPs to keep them that short.
Anyhow, overall and excellent read. I've voted and look forward to more!
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 CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...  
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scissorkitty
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| Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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Aw, thanks Tb! I appreciate you taking a look!
((and if you feel like pointing out any of those errors, I can go back and correct them!))
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Smee
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| Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 3:55 am Post subject: |
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Hey Skitty,
I'm all caught up... and ooh, glad Leah finally achieved liftoff! Woo! 
I've missed the poll, but I support the proactive search. Her note doesn't sound convincing that she is happy to be leaving alone, just a feeling that she has to do it.
I think he needs more than that to be content that she's happy without him.
Happy Writing
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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| So what does George do? |
| He sits and waits, hoping Leah will return. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| He goes in search of Leah- proactively. |
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80% |
[ 4 ] |
| He goes in search of Leah- passive (wandering, calling, etc.) |
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20% |
[ 1 ] |
| He returns to the cabin/caravan. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
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| Total Votes : 5 |
| Who Voted: Crunchyfrog, DeadManWalking, Emperor, Shady Stoat, Thunderbird |
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