City of IF

[Shady Stoat]

They say 'fools rush in...'

...and I'm here to tell you that I am that fool.

I voted to go after Phang :P

[Chinaren]

<Moved to its own thread>

- 0 – 0 -

Evil Homer is in a fix and the Forces of Good have been struck a dire blow!

What next for our great Paladin? Put on your thinking hats and venture suggestions!

[DukeReg]

I'm voting for a bit of R&R. Even the great Evil Homer can't do it on his own, in a hurry.

[Chinaren]

Sorry Duke! That poll was for chapter 3! Mind you, now I look at it, it's a bit of a similiar type of ending isn't it?

I can see I need to be a bit more creative! I blame it on this blocked nose, sore throat and throbbing headache.
:(

[Smee]

Great chapter. :D

The old poll has been deleted.

EH seems to be outgunned somewhat. He needs to head back and gather some more powerful allies. Maybe Sorrow can be of some use, but it seems like it wouldn't be a good idea to linger around him too long.

Happy Writing. :)

P.S.

Quote: covered in Smee slime

Available now from you local Smee Store for only 10F a jar - excellent for chicken pox, bubble bath and running the car :D

[Shady Stoat]

chinaren wrote:
I can see I need to be a bit more creative!
:(

*blinks* I dread to think! You've already got people paying to be drowned in the contents of a chamber pot and to be turned into giant furry animals. It's pure genius! :lol:

What to do next? Well, evil tends to know exactly what it wants, while good tends to be indecisive.

So...

Fools rush back, I think :D

[Chinaren]

Quote: I dread to think! You've already got people paying to be drowned in the contents of a chamber pot and to be turned into giant furry animals.

LOL! :clap: <cough, sniffle> :wacko:

[Smee]

Quote: *blinks* I dread to think! You've already got people paying to be drowned in the contents of a chamber pot and to be turned into giant furry animals. It's pure genius!

The Stoat makes a good point. Decision points are hard at the best of times and so far yours are doing well.

So what if the poll is much the same. The situation certainly isn't. Events unfold, things change and the same decision crops up again.

Worry not. :)

[Muaddib]

Lets see some more action from smee and the wheely thing please...and what happened to my chamber pot?

[ethereal_fauna]

Smee wrote: Quote: covered in Smee slime

Available now from you local Smee Store for only 10F a jar - excellent for chicken pox, bubble bath and running the car :D
Must...resist...temptation...to post immediate thoughts...

[Chinaren]

Muaddib wrote: Lets see some more action from smee and the wheely thing please...and what happened to my chamber pot?

Ayaaa! I can only do so much you know!

This chapter I had to add in Sorrow and his/her(anyone?) minion, as well as Lord of the Night and yet still keep it to a suitable chapter size and keep the plot-thread running smoothly!

I suppose you could always re-bribe me for a bigger part! :D

The Chamber pot, as you know, was last seen on LotN's head. They will both return, never fear. In fact I have an idea about LotN who will have quite a good time at some point in the near future, when/if I can fit it in of course! :shock:

[Dean]

Bwahahaha! Great story, Chinaren. Very entertaining.

I'd be willing to donate some credits if Dean One-Leg of the Hood could come hobbling back to the rescue. Not sure how the payment process works though. Is there a minimum, or do I just donate as much as I'm willing? Is 5 fables too small? Lol....

[Smee]

You need to go to his matching thread in the marketplace and then put in your bid for what you want.

And then evil guys like me come along and bid that you lose the other leg instead :P

[LordoftheNight]

NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

i was defeated by a chamber pot?
even a royal chamber pot?

*sulks*

can i kill evil homer's horse areax?

[Chinaren]

lordofthenight wrote: NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

i was defeated by a chamber pot?
even a royal chamber pot?


But you are a cool demon no? :grin:

[LordoftheNight]

Yes, yes I am. *big grin spreads acroos face* Cursed chamber pots and their wicked ways. I'll get you next time Evil Homer.

[Idea master]

Wow. "wretched minion."
Anyway. Ahem.
I vote that we try to get the master of ideas restored to his former sanity. Hey, a second and third mage on your side can't be all bad, can it?

[Key]

I'm glad to see that I'm getting my money's worth. I'm not only highly magical and dignified, but I get to foil both the good and the evil sides. :D

As for EvilHomer, there's no time to lose. He must quickly gather the merry men and ride to help the forces at Cra-yon. With Sorrow and Hyperistoat (or whatever he's called) he's now has two wizards on his side to counter the Dark Lady's magic. Let us go forward, to be paladin-like and heroic!

[D-Lotus]

but its too late to turn back! If you do, you'll have to confront the demon again, and this time you might not be so lucky. Plus you'd lose time, and what good are five men? Sorrow and her wretch probably will be unwilling to go back anyway. Instead, why don't we roll a rock from the pass on the camp down below, to create havoc. Sorrow can do that, and homer can try get phang. Am I going too much ahead?

[Chinaren]

Okay, poll is up, but other suggestions considered!

I am not sure where everyone got the idea that Sorrow wouldn't want to stay around though, I didn't intend to put that over. Mind you, unless he/she coughs up the Fables for winning the minion auction they will be heading for a gruesome death very soon! :shock:

[Smee]

Quote: I am not sure where everyone got the idea that Sorrow wouldn't want to stay around though, I didn't intend to put that over.

I don't think Sorrow is going to leave - but this paragraph suggests being near him too long turns you into something akin to Idea Master. Is this not true?

Quote: “I am Sorrow, that is all you need to know for now. For Sorrow is my name and Sorrow travels with me wherever I go.” Sorrow pointed a gloved hand towards the figure scrambling in the mud. “That soul used to be called the Master of Ideas. Now he is nothing but a wretch with his only thought being to serve me. A penance for actions past.”


I've voted for gather strength.

[Hyperion]

I demand that the spell that made me a stoat-thing makes me look leaner! Like... Arkansus! I cast another spell on myself that takes off the fur, too. *grimaces*

[Chinaren]

<Moved to its own thread>

- - -

Is all lost? Has Phang tasted triumph as well as demon? Who is Sorrow, and what is his plan? Where was Key and Mother Goose? Why am I asking all these questions?

What should Homer and assorted merry men do now?

Try to find and kill Phang?
Turn back to find Sorrow and his ‘alternative solution’?
Try and get through to the fort anyway?
Another cunning plan?

I await your comment, bids, bribes and suggestions!

[Muaddib]

Umm, I dont know what to say...this last chapter kind of falls under sodomy since Phang is underage...methinks you crossed the line?

[Chinaren]

Muaddib wrote: Umm, I dont know what to say...this last chapter kind of falls under sodomy since Phang is underage...methinks you crossed the line?

Erm, Phang in my story is actually several hundred years old! And I am fairly certain there was no sodomy* involved! At least, not in this chapter! ;)

Waaay! My 600th post! :-)

*Sodomy is when you use the number 2 hole.

[Muaddib]

Oh right, is the word perversion or something? You can keep this chapter, I mean...I dont really know U.S. laws, and what this falls under, if at all. Im a bit prudish, maybe thats why Im squeamish.

[Chinaren]

Well of course you have a right to your opinion, and I respect that. However, I DID put up a big red sign at the top:

Quote: Warning: Contains scenes of defilement, depravity, murder and adult situations.

A point though:

You don't find someone who has his arms and legs cut off in anyway disturbing? Or Smee getting his limbs slowly crushed? Somone's still living brain being scooped out??? Yet a (fairly tastefully done and mild, if I say so myself) sex scene is crossing the line? :?

You surely do have a funny idea of what is 'acceptable'!! :shock:

[LordoftheNight]

i would say head straight for Phang and try to kill her. he is a heroic paladin figure - do not waste time dally about your lack of men and being hoplessly outnumbered

plus this way you should all die - which is always good to

[Phang]

:shock: :cool: ;) :-) :smile: :) :D :grin: :biggrin: :-D o-) :lol: :P :twisted: :wink: :mrgreen: :clap: :scared: :wub: :rock: :rofl: :tempt: :tu2: :tu: :blink:
WOOHOO!


Don't worry Muaddib, I've got an awful sore throat and now it's worse from laughing!...wait that's a bad thing.
Problem - I do think stories are susceptible to getting done for underage stuff regardless (don't ask what I've been reading to find this out), so most go to great lengths to tell of every character's age, or even put up a little notice saying something like "Everyone is overage. Honest. Just assume."

Now I must leave, for the police are coming to get me for not suing Chinaren for such an act.

[Sorrow_A]

Silly me, thinking the demon would get paid in money . . . but what use do ultra-powerful underworld overlords have for gold? None, I'll tell you.

Well, I voted that Homer meets back up with me and Master, simply because I want to see you poke fun at IM again.

[Shady Stoat]

Great chapter Chinaren (speaking as one who frequently brings down the tone of the site herself) ;)

You're never going to get through tens of thousands of enemy troops in a headlong march. I think now is the time for Hyperiflamingo to prove his worth by casting some sort of stealth spell, allowing some of the team to wander past the enemy soldiers unobserved. Once in Phang's territory, the maiming and slaughtering can begin in earnest.

Just as an added bonus, could Dean of the Hood provide a blatant decoy, perhaps losing more body parts in the process?

Cra-yon Pass must be saved! :lol:

[D-Lotus]

Good idea stoat, I agree, I agree.

[Key]

Yes, that's good. As a paladin you've got to go to the source of the evil - go after Phang herself, and either slay her or die trying. If the flamingo can get you there quicker either with a stealth spell or some kind of teleport or flight, so much the better.

As for Dean of the Hood, I hope his lack of body parts isn't dampening his spirits. He is, after all, the leader of a merry band.

[Idea master]

Um, slight question...
But when did my brother go in league with the demons?
And what the heck is up with the flamingo mage thing?
I would think, personally, that any stealth the mage would use would be dispelled by the large amount of feathers brushing up against the hordes of evilness.
Unless, of course, you get rid of the feathers WITHOUT Sorrow interfering...
Which may mean getting rid of Sorrow.

[Chinaren]

Quote: But when did my brother go in league with the demons?

If you mean Sorrow, who said he is in league with the demons?? :D Nothing is that simple in my stories!!

[/quote]

[Muaddib]

Actually I wasn't telling you whether you should have the chapter or not, I was just worried that it was crossing the line legally, I didnt want to get screwed(pardon the term) because of something else. I maybe prudish, but Im a liberal.

[Phang]

Now I am capable of rational thought...

I'm pretty sure EH would try to seek out and kill me. But being me, I don't want that to happen. So I'm going for getting them to find Sorrow, thus distracting them from me for a while and involving more IM-related humour.

Also, we want more demonic payment! Well, I do...hang on...*clones herself* now it's a we.

[Chinaren]

Quote: we want more demonic payment! Well, I do...hang on...*clones herself* now it's a we.

<Spits out the mouthful of coffee he was drinking!> LOL! :P

[LordoftheNight]

we agree *is also a clone*

daemoninc payment goooood

[Phang]

We shall not relent until there is as much demonic payment with as many people as possible as can be reasonably (but not necessarily sensibly) fit into the story! Or I'll send Fat Kid to come and get you!