City of IF

[Shady Stoat]

Chapter Five: Sibling Rivalry…

Elladora thought for a moment. So, Martine wanted equality, did she? The chance to be just like her brother?

Just like her brother… now there was an intriguing thought. She waved her wand with a flourish.

The girl disappeared in a small pop of imploded air. Elladora hung around for a minute, inclining her head, waiting…

There came a thud from the next room, followed by a five cautious footsteps. A pause… then a surprisingly girly shriek, considering that it came from a male voicebox. Grinning, Elladora decided to get out of there while she still had the chance. She swished her wand and vanished.

-------

Arriving back at the cottage, she put the kettle on. There was a lot to do today, and she had to get right down to business. She was itching to see what Alexander Rose had been up to last night, and now she had Martine and her brother to spy on as well. That new orb was going to be tricky to manipulate unless she could learn to understand the manual. She had never been any good at reading instructions, and being a fairy-godmother had helped her not one whit in that department.

Still, malice was an awfully good motivator. For the sake of sheer nastiness, she would try.

Once the tea had brewed, Dora settled down in her armchair in front of the fire. It was time to get some more reading done. She flicked through the pages of the instruction book, trying to find her place in the text.

She looked up. There was a tiny dusting of soot, sprinkling down onto the log fire. Elladora watched it with minimal interest, then shrugged and got back to her weighty tome again. Barely had she begun to read, when something began to clatter down the chimney-place. It crashed and echoed, descending fast.

Elladora leaned forward, curiously, eyes following the object’s invisible progress as it fell. Her eyebrows rose as something solid thumped into the centre of the fireplace, showering her with soot and tiny sparks. Semi-blinded and spluttering, she could make out a white, rounded shape, surrounded by orange flames.

Her eyes were streaming from the soot and she couldn’t make out any of the details, but she acted on instinct. Grabbing the tongs, she wrestled the object out from among the flames and onto the stone hearth. It lay there, smoking slightly, among the embers and the ash that its landing had displaced.

Elladora squinted and leaned forwards for a better look. The shape became clear in her vision.

It was a skull. Puzzled (and a little disconcerted) she picked it up in sooty fingers.

The word ‘theatrics’ had barely had a chance to register in her brain when the jawbone of the skull fell open. It wasn’t the only one. Dora watched, mouth agape, as the skull began to talk to her in a deep, game-show baritone.

“Elladora Chubb, this message has been sent to you by the Mistress of Threads, the Weaver of Webs, the Ageless one, The Lady herself… Mistress Fate! You are to be congratulated on the acquisition of your new orb, oh most fortunate of Fairy-godmothers. In accordance with Limbo regulation P1152, you will attend a special training course to be instructed in modern orbs and their variety of uses. The course begins at eight o’clock this morning and will continue throughout the day, in the Guild of Mythos Schoolhouse. Attendance is compulsory – do not be late.”

The skull’s jaw dropped open a final time as its message concluded. Elladora looked at it in disgust. More of Fate’s dramatics! Skulls and chimneystacks – she had too much time on her hands!

Speaking of time…

Elladora’s eyes widened. It was already nine o’clock and the skull-message had said to be there by eight. Fate had done it on purpose, of course. Revenge for having made her look bad in front of Them. Now she would be late and Fate would be able to record another reprimand on her record!

Dora looked down on her soot-stained and singed dress. There was no time to change now, she would have to go as she was. One thing was sure, though. She would make Fate pay for this, one way or another.

This meant war!

---------

A single wand-wave was enough to land her in front of the Schoolhouse. Once again, she had cause to wish that it could be used for her own personal gain. At least that way, she could have made an entrance looking a little bit less like she’d been moonlighting as a chimney-sweep!

It was bad enough returning to school at the age of one-hundred-and-thirty-seven. Fate knew that she hated these training courses, yet she seemed to take great delight in making her go on them.

The last one had been in anger management. She remembered it vividly. It had been no fun at all, going through a raft of Stress Management Roleplay Exercises with War as a partner! Needless to say, he had failed the course (and promptly appealed the decision, claiming it was unfair because he had only threatened to cut Elladora off at the kneecaps and feed her toes to her, one at a time. It wasn’t as if he’d actually done it!). The whole experience had left her with a profound desire never to see the inside of the schoolhouse again.

Besides, it was creepy being taught by one of Them.

Resigning herself to what lay ahead, she wiped the ash off her face as best she could and stepped inside the square-brick building. She looked into the classroom, apologetically.

Her heart sank. She was the only pupil. It was going to look really bad that she was late. She trudged in, muttering an excuse and flushing under her smudged face.

“Ah, Miss Chubb. So glad you could join us.

Elladora felt the customary shiver that came with being addressed by one of Them. Their magic was elusive. When they talked, when they touched you, there was a fleeting sense of wonder and beauty, the memory of which faded the moment they stopped. It was something that everyone who worked here had to get used to – and that nobody ever quite did. Even Fate’s massive ego had to shift aside a little to make room for the Powers.

This one was dressed differently from the rest of them. Not that it was a big improvement! Its cloak was a deeply unfashionable shade of pink, with a matching mortarboard instead of a hood. The orange glow of its eyes was partially masked by a pair of horn-rimmed spectacles. How any of it was held up by the shadowy form was yet another mystery that They kept to themselves. How anyone could have such lousy fashion-sense was a mystery, presumably to everyone!

She took the nearest desk, then met the Power’s glowing gaze. She set her face into a determinedly enthusiastic expression, to make up for her tardiness. After a moment or two, the schoolmistress began to conduct the lesson.

On the whole, it could have been a worse day, she thought afterwards. It turned out she was not the only pupil in the class. She had no sooner sat down than a voice had whispered “’Allo”. Looking across – and down – she had found herself a mere two desks away from one of the little people. A gnome, in fact. He had been easy to miss. Standing up, he was two-foot-six at full height; sitting down he disappeared completely behind the desk.

Elladora had smiled back warily. From her past experience, gnomes and pixies were either violent, mischievous, thick as a plank, or a combination of all three.

In this case, though, size appeared not to be everything. Dumpy* not only knew more about the orbs than she did, he was prepared to help her out in all the exercises.

It appeared that he was one of the Santa’s Workshop gnomes, tasked with finding out which children had been naughty or nice each year. The latest model orbs, he explained, had new features that would make his job much easier to get through – if he could ever understand their workings. While Elladora was still struggling with zoom and rewind, Dumpy was wrestling with time-freeze, multiview and some new fixture called Play-Gnome XXX (which he seemed to think was rather important, whatever it was!).

The schoolmistress gave clear and simple, if hardly fascinating, instructions. Of course, Elladora would have been much happier staying at home and spying on her little wards – but at least this way she would be able to do it properly, when she finally got the chance.

Finally, the Power called the class to an end. Dumpy came over to her desk as she was getting ready to leave.

“So, sweetheart, you’re a bit long in the tooth for an orb lecture, aren’tcha?” he asked, grinning so that all his crooked teeth showed.

Elladora decided to ignore the age insult, for the sake of all the help he had given her in understanding the workings of her new toy.

“It’s a new orb,” she said, shortly. “The old one melted.”

“Melted, eh?” Shouldna done that.” The gnome shooke his head reprovingly. “Not if yer took care of it proper.”

Elladora gave a humourless bark of a laugh. “Took care of it? It was sitting under a mountain of dust for decades. I’ve only recently got it out again.”

“A mountain o’ dust? Don’t think much o’yer ‘ousekeeper, lettin’ it get into a state like that!”

Despite herself, Dora was beginning to get a little irritated by the over-familiar creature. First he had insulted her age, now her ability to look after her home!

“Some of us have rather demanding jobs,” she said, feeling a pang of guilt as she told the easy fib. Until recently, she had done two or three jobs a week, content to let the more difficult wishes pile up. It hadn’t been lack of time, but lack of motivation that had kept her from working harder at her job or her daily chores. Even so, she pressed on. “And some of us don’t have handy servants to do all the muck-work, thank you very much!”

Dumpy’s face turned into one big, wrinkly frown.

“What’s up wi’ that then? You bin a fairy-godmother for a while, ‘aven’t yer? You don’t like my type, is that it?”

Elladora’s look of confusion must have been genuine. After a moment, Dumpy turned and raised his miniature hand into the air.

“’Ere! Yer Graciousniferousness! What’s the deal with them as gets their own cottages, then? I thought they got their own gnomes too?”

“You are correct. They do.”

Elladora was beginning to get worried. This was twice in as many days that she had attracted the attention of a Power. Most people tried to stay beneath their sight-lines, and she was no exception – although for different reasons than the rest. If she wasn’t careful, she could end up getting another commendation!

Dumpy continued, oblivious to Dora’s discomfort.

“Not this one, yer ‘ighness. She sez she does all ‘er own ‘ousework.”

“Perhaps she has an outdoor and maintenance gnome instead?”

The shadowy schoolteacher turned her orange gaze on Elladora. The fairy-godmother hesitated, not quite sure she had caught on to the gist of the conversation. Then she mentally squared her shoulders. If there was some perk to which she was entitled, then she was damn well going to get it!

Besides, it was a chance to get Fate into trouble. After her little trick with the late message this morning, it was the least she could offer in return!

“You mean I’m allowed a gnome servant of some kind?” she asked, innocently.

There was a pause. Then:

“You are indeed. Ask Fate to arrange it for you.”

With that, the Power turned and left the classroom. Elladora smiled a small, triumphant smile. With Their word backing her up, Fate wouldn’t be able to short-change her out of her dues this time!

She was going to get what was coming to her – and, with any luck, so was Fate!

* “Me mother wanted to call me Dopey and me father wanted Grumpy. Coulda bin worse, I s’pose. Coulda bin Gropey!”

-----------

This time, Elladora stood well to one side of the door before she tugged the bell-rope. The giant cuckoo was still fresh in her memory.

What came through the door was an even bigger shock.

Fate’s old manservant was gone. A new employee was standing there, looking rather uncomfortable in his predecessor’s old outfit. He was obviously trying his best to fit in. He even had the cushion stuffed into the shoulder of his tailcoat and the fake wart between his upper lip and his nose. His hair had been gelled to hang in lank strings around his face. However, whereas the old manservant had needed only a lightning storm and a desecrated corpse to be a main character in a Mary Shelley novel, the new guy seemed to be one blonde wig away from starring in a Christmas Panto.

Elladora stared with disbelieving eyes. Then she said the only possible thing, under the circumstances.

“Alexander Rose!” She gasped. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, hi Ellado… I mean, you rang?” His tone changed from enthusiastic to sudden and panicked formality.

Dora opened her mouth, not sure what she was going to say. Incredulity won out.

“What are you doing here?!” she repeated, still trying to find some logical rational for this, and still failing.

“Err… I applied for a job.” Alexander beamed in a nervous way.

“A… job…” she repeated, faintly.

“Yeah.” His eyes lit up with an enthusiasm that she had never seen before. “You know, I didn’t believe in you. Didn’t believe in any of this. Then you showed me. Wow – I mean, that was really gross what you did. I mean, Dwayne McKismo, somebody shoot me!”

Elladora glanced around, just in case she was lucky enough for someone to take him up on the offer. Nobody did.

He continued, oblivious to her chagrin. “Don’t worry, though, I know why you did it. I never would have believed anything less. You showed me. Boy, did you show me! You know, for a moment I almost wanted to…”

He trailed off. Elladora was grateful for any mercies, however small!

She took a deep breath and tried once again to understand. Then his earlier words came slamming into her head with full force.

“You applied for a job?” she accused. “With Fate?”

He backed away a step and shook his head. “No. I wanted to work for Cupid. They sent me here for the work experience. Said I’ve got to start at the bottom rung. Next time there’s a vacancy though, I’ll be in. They’re short of workers here. Lucky, eh?”

Dora’s head was full of words. ‘Lucky’ was not amongst them.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” she muttered.

Alex didn’t hear her. His face was filled to the brim with sickening gratitude.

“I want to thank you, Elladora,” he said, hoarsely. “Before you came along, I didn’t believe in anything. Then you showed me that people like you can change the world and make it a better place. I want to be part of that. I’m going to be part of that. You have my eternal gratitude. Would you mind if I hugged you?”

“Yes I ruddy well would!” Elladora had had quite enough of this. She shoved him away so hard he nearly toppled over. “I came here to see Fate. Tell me where she is.”

Without waiting for him to answer, she marched through to the study. As always, Fate was waiting for her.

“You have cost me a valuable employee, Miss Chubb,” intoned Fate without looking around. “For how long do you intend to keep this behaviour up?”

Elladora glared at her back. “For as long as you make me. You can end this any time, Fate.”

The room went quiet. Elladora waited in the stillness, trying not to get her hopes up. Then:

“I think not.” The cloaked figure turned and floated to the leather chair to sit down. “If you left, others would follow. We have no-one to replace those who go. You must complete your task.”

“For another four hundred years?” demanded Elladora, hotly. Fate merely inclined her head in acknowledgement of the statement.

Elladora stopped herself from saying what she really felt. Instead, she contented herself with bringing up the real reason for her visit.

“The Schoolteacher told me to come by and arrange for my gnome housekeeper,” she said, biting off each word with uncharacteristic venom.

Again there was silence. This time, though, it seemed awkward. Elladora continued.

“She said I’d been entitled to one for quite a while now. Where’s my gnome, Fate?”

Another pause. Then:

“You chose to accept the outdoor and maintenance gnome. You cannot have forgotten.”

Elladora frowned. “I did no such thing!”

“You have a gnome.” Stubbornly.

“The only gnome you’ve ever given me is a…” Dora trailed off. Then, “Wait a minute. An outdoor gnome? That horrible piece of ceramic you gave me for my fish pond? The garden gnome? You’ve got to be kidding!”


Fate’s changing visage shifted uncomfortably. “The regulations clearly state…”

“I want a gnome housekeeper!” shouted Elladora, stomping furiously to the door. “And you’d better see that I get one unless you want to be in real trouble with Them!”

By the time she had stormed out of Fate’s front door, the twelve piece orchestra was down to eleven instruments and up by quite a bit of kindling.

-------------

Armed with a fuller knowledge of her orb’s workings, a nice hot cup of tea and a large cinnamon Danish, Dora finally sat down to catch up on her day’s viewing.

She sighed. There was no point in seeing what Mr. Rose had got up to. That was a veritable storm of water under the bridge by now. Four wishes granted and three of them gone horribly right – or horribly wrong – she wasn’t sure which!

It couldn’t be Fate’s doing. Her boss seemed almost as irritated as Dora at the turn of recent events. There were others who could be interfering, of course. Lady Luck, the other Godmothers, the Powers themselves…

… but why would any of them bother? She was just a run-of-the-mill fairy-godmother and she was just experiencing a raft of unfortunate coincidences. Sooner or later, her luck was bound to change – and if it didn’t, at least she had the satisfaction of knowing that Fate would be sorry she had ever taken Dora on.

For now, though, she needed to see what Martine and her brother had been up to.

She gazed into her spangly new orb…

---------

Martine Adams was having a truly terrible day. Her mind was fixed on two things and two things only. One: equality really, really sucked! And Two: that fairy-godmother had lost her marbles. All of them! She was completely, one hundred percent marble-less!

It had been bad enough opening her eyes to find herself in Sebastien’s room. Then, a rather hesitant walk to the mirror had confirmed her worst nightmares! Her shriek had woken Sebastien up – a boy not pleased to find himself with an uninvited lodger in his body!

There had followed a wrestling match which, to a spectator, might have looked rather like a one-man Morris Dance. Martine had managed to gain control of the left leg, both eyes and the right arm below the elbow. Sebastien, however, had more practice with this body. He had fought her all the way, hurling insults and threats with the mouth, lips and teeth that were still his.

After a panting and furious battle, she had been banished to an invisible presence behind his eyes.

“What’s going on?” he had snarled, with the cross-eyed look of someone who is attempting to peer into their own brain.

Martine wrested control of the mouth, finally. “It’s the fairy-godmother. She’s done something to…”

He took over. “Not that fairy-godmother business again! Martine, when are you going to grow up?”

“Then you explain it,” she shot.

He couldn’t, of course. Instead, he resorted to the standby of all siblings, everywhere.

“This is all your fault!”

“Shut up. I’m trying to think!”

Sebastien drummed his fingers impatiently. At least, he would have, if Martine hadn’t taken back control of the middle two.

“I’ll write a complaint,” Martine said, finally. “She’ll have to fix us when the authorities hear what she’s done. In the meantime, we’ll just have to put up with each other.”

Unable to come up with anything better, Sebastien had agreed.

That had been before the debacle of the breakfast table. Rice Krispies or Pop Tarts had almost been the start of World War Three! Her left arm had engaged her right in a tug of war for the milk, spilling it all over her father’s newspaper. Sebastien’s taste in sweet tea had almost made Martine retch! What was worse, her parents had begun to regard Sebastien with that look that promised School Psychiatrists and large doses of tranquillisers.

They had been glad to get to school and away from their family – until the lessons had begun. Double physics would have been bad enough for Martine. Double physics in a class four years above her had been torture! The only distraction from its complete incomprehensibility was the fact that she was sitting in a classroom with some of the best-looking boys in the school. All of her friends would have been envious!

She soon found that she could control any part of Seb’s body that he wasn’t actively using. In a direct contest, he seemed to have no problem wresting control back, but he couldn’t exercise his will over her completely.

Thus it was that she found herself able to spend the lesson staring at some of the choicer samples of sixteen-year-old boy-flesh in the class. It was really quite a pleasant way to pass the time, all things considered.

Sebastien obviously didn’t agree. For some reason, he seemed to object to the fact that his eyes kept checking out the wrong sort of talent! The lads who noticed seemed to have equal objections to his staring. Time and time again, he wrenched control of his eyes back, only to lose it again as the Physics lesson interfered.

By lunchtime, the two siblings were just about ready to throttle each other. It was fortunate they had to share the same throat, otherwise there surely would have been violence enacted.

As it was, though, the afternoon had brought its own brand of torture. Gym class. In the end, Sebastien had to take forcible control of his body in order to make Martine come into the boys’ changing rooms with him. He lurched in, five minutes late and looking more like a creature from Dawn of the Dead than a normal sixteen year old. There was a swiftly muttered conversation that caused the few remaining classmates’ heads to turn in confusion.

“I can’t get changed in here!”

“You’re not getting changed. I am. Now shut up!”

“Can’t you just skip the class?”

“Shut up! Just shut your eyes if you don’t like it. No, not my eyes! That’s better. Yeah? What are you looking at?”

“Uhh… nothing?” asked his classmate, backing off in confusion and alarm.

Sports had been a nightmare with a shared body. The showers afterwards had been monstrous. Sebastien’s body had been lucky not to be beaten up as a result of Martine’s reactions to his male colleagues.

The real trouble began after they got home again, though. He disappeared quickly into his room the moment he got home. A couple of minutes later, there was a knock at the door. His mother popped her head around and smiled.

“I’m going out now. Don’t forget, your dinner’s in the oven. Make sure Martine is in bed by half past nine and don’t forget to do your revision. Oh, and take a look at her computer, she’s complaining about some virus or other. And if you get a minute, could you look at the lawn-mower out in the shed? I think the blades have bent again. Thanks love.”

“Great,” grumped Seb. “You’re not even here and I’m stuck in babysitting you!”

Martine was silent. She stayed remarkably untroublesome, throughout the revision. She made no comment as Seb trawled through her computer problems and repaired the lawnmower in the shed. It was only when her brother answered the door to his girlfriend that she was shocked into speaking.

“What? You’re seeing he-urghhmmph?”

Sebastien ruthlessly wrested control of his lips from Martine and used them to kiss his girlfriend (much to his younger sister’s disgust).

“Hi Sebbie,” giggled Alice as she brushed past him. “Your parents gone out? Where’s your sister?”

“I’m right he… mmmph… I mean, she’s upstairs. Busy. Not here,” he said, putting a threat into his tone.

Alice leaned against him suggestively. “That’s good. I have plans for tonight,” she breathed.

----------

The doorbell rang. Elladora jumped. She had been leaning in so close to the orb that her nose had been virtually touching it. With a clatter and a curse, she set it down on the table and went to see who was outside.

Standing before her – or rather, standing across and down from her – was a cheerily dressed gnome. His grin displayed all three of his teeth and he wore clothes more appropriate to a court jester than to a house-servant. Still, Fate had obviously stuck to the letter of her bargain. Elladora decided to make the best of it.

“You must be the new housekeeper?” she asked, trying to look welcoming.

“Aye. Chuzzle’s the name.” He stepped past her, looking around the hallway. “Tsk! The place is a mess. Where’d you want me to start?”

“Err…” Elladora looked down at the eager helper. The cynic in her wondered how Fate had managed to louse up this deal. She berated herself for such negative thinking (whilst vowing to keep it firmly in mind for a while). “What do you do?”

“Cookin’, cleanin’, washin’, laundry, foldin’, polishin’, tidyin’, pest control, sweepin’, moppin’, fetchin’, carryin’, findin’, losin’ an’ answerin’ the door,” replied the creature, promptly. Then he repeated: “Where’d you want me to start?”

“I’ll… I’ll show you around,” stammered Elladora. She really wanted to go back to watching the orb… but there was always rewind, now that she knew how to work it. Besides, she wasn’t sure she wanted to trust any gnome that Fate had seen fit to send her way.

For the next hour, she was busy showing Chuzzle around the house. It would have been quicker but for his desire to do every little chore as he passed it by. She offered to make up a bed for him, only to be greeted by a shocked look.

“I’m the ‘ousekeeper, Miss Elladora,” he chided her. “Anyways, there should be a bed my size up in the attic. That’s where we usually live.”

Elladora had never been up into the attic. However, from the sighs of ecstasy that drifted down from there, she deduced both that it had a bed and that it was extremely filthy.

Finally feeling able to leave her new lodger, she returned to the study (with barely a stop for the chocolate chip cookies on the way) and picked up the orb again. She wrestled with the idea of rewind… but who could say how long she would have before being forced to deal with Chuzzle again?

Setting the orb onto ‘present’, she tuned in again.

-----------

“What’s wrong?” Alice asked, looking hurt.

“Uhh… nothing,” squeaked Sebastien, trying to back up into the far corner of the couch.

“I thought this is what you wanted. You’ve sure talked about it enough!”

She sidled up to lie with her body against him. He eyed her in the same way that a restaurant lobster eyes the fat man. Inside his head, there was a twelve-year-old girl going ‘euwww’. It was very off-putting!

“Well… it’s just… you… we don’t have to do… anything… tonight?” he ventured.

“But you said…” She was beginning to look a little hurt.

He interrupted, desperately. “I don’t want you to do anything just for me. Okay? Not tonight. Forget what I said before!”

She began to slide a hand up his thigh. “You mean you don’t want…?”

Martine’s legs had taken him through the doorway before he could register what had happened. He didn’t fight her as she flew with him up the stairs and locked her bedroom door behind the both of them.

Alice was going to think he had gone crazy! What was he going to do?

------------

Elladora winced. This had been something she hadn’t expected. It was all very well asking for equality, but some things were more equal than others!

She sighed. There was no help for it. She would have to cancel the spell. It had achieved its end anyway. The girl had already written a complaint to the authorities. With any luck, she could cancel out some of those commendations that were coming her way!

After a final cup of tea, she retired to bed for the night. She finally fell asleep to the sounds of merry gnome-whistling and the comforting sweeping of a dust-mop.

In the morning, when she awoke, the house was tidier than it had been in all the time she had lived in it. She wondered why Chuzzle had a bed if he chose not to sleep in it. Not that it was any of her business, of course. As long as he didn’t start eating the carpets or wearing her official fairy-godmother uniform, he could do what he liked!

Her breakfast was prepared. She looked in astonishment at the croissants and orange juice. Where had they come from? And where was her morning cream-cake?

Ah well. She would have to break Chuzzle in, bit by bit. For now, she had other work to do. Munching on the croissant, she went to her work-book and took a look at the next name on the list.

Beatrice Talbot.

Beatrice Talbot? Who in the name of the Powers was Beatrice Talbot?

She looked back over her records. Nothing. Then…

… she found the name. Nearly twenty-five years back.

That couldn’t be right. Could it? She checked again. Yes, Beatrice Talbot, by all accounts, would be forty-three by now! There was no record of her having used her third wish.

No wonder she had left this one on the long-term list!

She sighed. Well, there was no time like the present. With a whoosh of her wand, she was gone.

----------

Beatrice was in her kitchen when Elladora appeared. She looked around, hands wet and soapy from being in the dishwater, and gave a curt nod.

“You took your time.”

Elladora was in no mood for games. “I’m here now. What do you want?”

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.” The woman turned around. She was thin and a little pinched around the cheeks. Her hair was slightly wet and hung in threads down the side of her face. She looked weathered. Too old to be forty-three.

Elladora had the feeling this was going to be no simple task.

“I’m sick of having to wait on everyone else, hand and foot,” said the woman, bitterly. “People only see me as the one who gets to take them places in the car, or the one who does their cooking and cleaning. I don’t want to be their skivvy any more. It’s time I was the first priority. Until I say different, I want my friends and family to treat me like I was the most important thing in their lives. Everyone. Husband, kids, grandchildren, friends, workmates, the lot. Can you do it?”

Dora gave her a measured stare. “I rather think I can…”

[Chinaren]

Ah, great chapter as usual New Stoat! Luvly!

This one would seem to be a little different. This woman doesn't seem to ne a spoilt brat.

So grant her wish? Um. I am really terrible at these. :?

*Sits back, happy to just watch*

[LordoftheNight]

i'd say give her some fatal disease or something, and about two weeks to live

she'll instantly become the most important person to those who care about her

and she may not be spoiled - but she's still asking for an ridiculas wish, one that she shouldn't have granted normally

[Ingrothechundyer]

Nice :D

A terminal illness that puts her in the hospital?

[Smee]

Fantastic :D - A great chapter.

Alex Rose working for Fate - purest genius.
Martine's bonding session with her brother - highly entertaining. :D

I'll be back with ideas for our more mature wish-maker later.

Happy Writing :)

[Kalanna Rai]

Take it literally. Kids stop going to school. Hubby stops going to work. Friends stop living with their families and start living with her. They all just sit around and stare at her or they all get into outrageous fights over who gets to do what for her when. And what about them not being able to be away from her for a single moment? Can u imagine not being able to go to the bathroom without someone getting an axe so they can chop down the door and make sure you're still there.

Hehehe.

[ethereal_fauna]

Hilarious! :D I too will think some more on this latest wish, although the first thing that came to mind was to give the woman a rare ability (like a special healing power or gift) where her family sees the potential to make a lot of money. She'll be a treasure to them then, treated like everyone's favorite, but they'll all want something from her...either her services from her special power, or her money from using her power.

[LordoftheNight]

or she could make everyone wwant to be with her so much they begin to get jealous of everyone else who's with her too

eventually ending up with them attempting to kill her to stop anyone else having her

[Solomon Birch]

Another outstanding chapter Ms. Stoat!

Quote: Thus it was that she found herself able to spend the lesson staring at some of the choicer samples of sixteen-year-old boy-flesh in the class. It was really quite a pleasant way to pass the time, all things considered.

ROFLMAO!!! Genius! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Well, getting past that *wipes away tears*, I think that although she is desperately trying to get out of the godmothering buissness, Dora would empathise quite a lot with this overworked mother. So, for a change of place and plot, she should be nice and grant her wish properly, making everyone think of her first and being generally more appreciative. I don't think she would have to do anything drastic, just make her feel more appreciated.

Or you could just have her toying with that idea, then deciding that another 400 years of servitude to that uber-hag fate is not somthing that looks appealing, so she does something truly horrible. Like removing everyone who depends on her in some horrible horrible fashion, e.g. massive car crash where she is the only survivor. May sound a little harsh, but it would remove those that demand so much of her and make her the centre of people's affections and devotions. That and becuase I needed to balance out my super nice idea with something a little more evil! :-D

Great new Avatar too, although the white fur will be missed :(

I'm going to attempt to catch up with the rest of your stories now....

Well done Shady, the Queen of the humor section! :P Can't wait for the next chapter!
*holds breath* :shock:

[Shady Stoat]

Poll's going up later today. Any further suggestions, get 'em in quick :)

[Key]

Ooh, ooh! One more!

How about she wins the lottery? Everyone - friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, is really really nice to her. But everyone of them also happen to have this need for money that they just hate to mention, but...

[Shady Stoat]

3 day poll is up.

Sorry I couldn't include your 'kill everybody' option Soily. I liked it in a twisted sort of way, but I had to draw the line at mass murder ;)

Just grant the wish had to go, too, although reluctantly. Elladora is really desperate to get out of this job. Only in the last extremity will she actually grant someone's wish in order to make them happy. If, say, the only alternative was mass murder :shock:

Have fun voting :)

[Solomon Birch]

I didn't say they had to be killed. Just taken out of the picture... Like... having them arrested and then deported for some reason.

Ah well, I think I'll vote for the win the lottery option cos'..... I don't know why I'm voting for it. I just am, OK!! :-x

*huddles in a corner, looking shiftily over his shoulder*

[Chinaren]

Voted!

*goes and stands behind Soily to make him nervous*

[Shady Stoat]

Winning the lottery wins the poll :D

I'll get writing. These chapters are getting shockin' long though, so it might take a few days... :shock:

[Chinaren]

Quote: I'll get writing. These chapters are getting shockin' long though, so it might take a few days.

So stop wasting time writing comments here then!! Get on with it! ;)

[LordoftheNight]

damn, never saw that the poll was up

i blame the school computers for blocking it, and making me think i've read it

drat

[Kalanna Rai]

You and me both Lordofthenight.

[Mother Goose]

And me - but I would have voted for the lottery anyway.

[Shady Stoat]

Sorry guys. I don't know what went wrong this time. I put the poll notice up as usual. A lot of people seem not to have got it.

Still, there's always next time. Right? :D

[Kalanna Rai]

S'alright. Only god can be everywhere at once.

[LordoftheNight]

it's not your fault - its my schools computers

it blocks this story, so i click on it to try and read it - it counts as having been read and then i forget to read it again at home