City of IF

[Shady Stoat]

Chapter Three:Growing Up Fast…

Elladora waved her wand, a smile of genuine pleasure on her face.

“There,” she said, sweetly. “That should take care of all your problems.”

Cassandra paused, obviously waiting for the change to reveal itself. Then her nose wrinkled into a frown.

“What have you done?”

“Oh, you won’t notice the effects immediately, dear,” replied Elladora. “Be patient. I’m sure you’ll grow into your new-found popularity.”

“But I asked for…”

Dora looked at her watch, then spoke over Cassandra’s burgeoning protests.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for school?” she asked, steering the girl towards the uniform which hung on the back of a chair. “Don’t worry, dear, if you need me, just call. It’ll only cost you your third wish.”

With a smile that was more of a smirk, she used her wand a final time and vanished.

--------

The fairy-godmother reappeared at the cottage with every intention of using the orb again. There was nothing quite so satisfying as spying on mischief of your own making.

If only she hadn’t glanced out of her front window, the rest of her morning might have been spent rather pleasantly. As it was, she turned to see a horrible mess out in her flowerbeds. Carefully cultivated daffodils and tulips had been trodden on and squashed flat. Brightly coloured pansies were now soil-black or mud-brown, crushed back into the ground from which they had risen so daintily. Her geraniums had been kicked over and even her lupins were looking the worse for wear.

All thoughts of Cassandra were forgotten. With a shriek of outrage, Elladora sped through her front door, lured into seeing for herself the full scale of the disaster. She turned, halfway down the path, only to stare in furious disbelief.

Words had been trampled into her garden. On the left hand, as she looked, was the word ‘SEE’. On the right, ‘ME’.

Elladora’s eyes narrowed. It could only be one person. One moronic, inconsiderate theatrical person! Who else could consider such overblown vandalism as an equal alternative to using the blasted telephone?!

Fate! Well, she wasn’t going to get away with it! A single bad-tempered swoosh, and Elladora vanished from the cottage again.

---------

Dora grimaced in anticipation as she tugged the bell-rope downward. Sure enough, the special-effects department had not been idle. A dozen imaginary wolves howled at an imaginary moon. The fairy-godmother could only suppose it was meant to give an eldritch mood to her visit.

It certainly suggested a mood. ‘Eldritch’ was not the word she had in mind, though. She waited, with grim impatience, while the hunchbacked servant shuffled to the door and opened it for her.

“Where is she?” demanded Elladora.

The ancient manservant pointed a gnarled finger in the direction of the reception room. Wasting no further time on him, Dora made her way across the hall again.

It was only when she was pushing open the door that a sudden thought caused her mood to lift. What if Fate had noticed the debacle with Becky and the Wicked Stepmother? What if this was the dressing-down that she had hoped for? It was a bit early to presume, but Fate didn’t often summon her to the Palace of Threads (as she so theatrically liked to call it!). Never, in Dora’s memory, for anything that could be considered good news.

Maybe that was about to change. Schooling her features into a pleasantly neutral expression (even though she had neither forgotten nor forgiven the flower-bed incident), she stepped into the room.

Fate turned at once to face her. The fairy-godmother felt a tug of satisfaction as she realised that both the aloof manner and the cloak had been put aside for the visit. Fate was rattled. Good!

“Explain yourself,” the changing visage of Fate intoned. No matter which face she was wearing, she appeared to be glaring at Elladora. Curiously enough, Dora was feeling a lot better about the state of her flowerbeds now.

“I’m a hundred and thirty seven years old,” replied the fairy-godmother, innocently. “How much of myself to you want explained? How long have you got?”

She sat herself in one of the leather chairs. Fate advanced on her, bending over so they were almost nose-to-nose. For a moment, Elladora was nervous, thinking that she may have gone too far. Then she heard the orchestra, screeching their violins in the background, and she realised it was all just more showmanship.

“Becky Marton’s wish,” hissed Fate into her face. “You have some special reason for granting her request in such a way?”

The fairy-godmother tried to mask the sudden delight she felt. The wish had come to Fate’s attention – and sooner than expected. Wonderful!

“I just thought it was the right way to go,” she said, trying for an innocence that she did not remotely feel. “What’s to explain? She wished… I granted. End of story.”

“You made her invisible!” Fate slammed the flat of her palm into the coffee table, making Elladora jump. “If it was up to me, I would have you disciplined. Wand privileges revoked. Double shifts for months to come. No more deliveries of cream-cakes to your cottage.”

With difficulty, the fairy-godmother wrenched her thoughts past that last horrific image. “What do you mean, ‘if it was up to you’?” she asked, trying to stop her voice from quavering.

“You have been fortunate.” Fate spoke hollowly, dismissing the orchestra with a wave of her thin hand. “They have intervened, after receiving…” She pronounced the next word with evident distaste, “…this.”

Her hand left the coffee table. In its place was a sheet of paper, looking as if it had been crumpled into a ball, then laboriously straightened out again. Dora took it, feeling suddenly nervous. She turned it over and read the rounded handwriting.

Dear Fairy Godmother,

I don’t know if you’ll get this or not. I tried making another wish, but I’ve already used mine up and you didn’t come.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I asked for a really stupid thing yesterday. It wasn’t the first time. My other two wishes were a bit (several words had been written, then crossed out at this point. Elladora tutted as she read through them) rubbish as well.

I really thought you’d made a mess of granting this one. Now I know you were just trying to show me something. Once you’d turned me invisible, I saw how worried everyone was about me. Even bratboy… I mean, Simon… well, he’s a pain, but I kinda think I am too. He didn’t want me gone. Neither did Eileen.

I still can’t stand pasta, but I reckon I should give her another chance. Not that I’ve got much choice. My last wish is gone. I reckon I’m stuck with her now.

Maybe it’s not such a bad thing.

Thanks Fairy Godmother
Becky Marton (13)

Elladora tried to take in the content of the letter. It left her floundering.

“What?” was all she could manage, gazing helplessly at Fate.

“A wish granted in extremely poor taste,” replied Fate, sourly. “However, after the letter had been sorted and read by Them, they took it as a thank-you note. Given that it was directed towards you, personally, it was decided to grant you…”

“Yes?”

“To grant you…”

Fate seemed to be finding the sentence distasteful. Elladora wasn’t sure whether to be worried or smug.

“Yes?” she tried again.

This time, Fate got the words out. “…a commendation.”

Elladora’s eyebrows shot up past her hairline. “A commendation? What? But I…”

She subsided, disgruntled. It would never do to admit that she had been aiming for something else entirely. Still, it rankled. How could she get a commendation for this when she had spent an entirely thankless century doing the job to the best of her ability? And how was she supposed to get fired when she was earning special privileges. Which reminded her…

“What is a commendation?” she asked, gazing into the burning eyes of her boss.

“A great honour.” Fate’s hollow tones rang out. “You are to receive a new tiara for your uniform, in gold plating instead of silver. It also permits you to use the Executive Restroom at the Mythical Asociation of Figurative Interventional Allegories Social Club.”

Elladora did not bother to repress a wince. That snob-yard? She wouldn’t be seen dead in it! Besides, only a bunch of misfits like Fate and her cronies could possibly come up with an acronym that worked out to be the MAFIA Society.

So. A worthless commendation, and still no route out of this hellhole.

“Is that all?” she snapped. Not bothering to wait for an answer, she stomped out of the room. An eerie chill was blowing through the hallway, portending sinister events to come.

Either that, or Fate’s wind-machine was acting up again.

Bloody theatrics!

--------

It was noon by the time that Dora got back to her cottage. Well, nearly, anyway. Close enough to indulge in a strong cup of tea and a chocolate éclair, most definitely.

She was more determined than ever to get it right this time. Nothing could be allowed to distract from her crusade to be demoted. No more Beckys. Cassandra was going to mark a turning-point in her fortunes.

The orb made its usual poor job of starting. Elladora tried hard to contain her impatience as she waited for the spark of light to expand from the obsidian’s central core.

Half past eleven. Let’s see… Cassandra would be blooming nicely by now. Tall, pale and skinny she may be, but by now she would be tall, pale and skinny with an ample C-cup. As far as Elladora knew, there were only three ways to become more popular in high-school. Lots of money, lots of beauty or lots of cleavage.

In the past, she had been prepared to try any and all combinations of the responsible options. Now? Well, desperate times called for desperate measures; and Cassandra was certainly going to be measuring up to rather desperate proportions soon. By the end of the day, she was going to be giving herself black eyes whenever she broke into a jog!

Finally, the orb began to show its picture. Elladora leaned in…

---------

Cassandra had been worried ever since Elladora’s visit. There had been something about that fairy-godmother that she hadn’t trusted. The expression on her face had been a bit like Auntie Maggie’s, just before she had started smuggling urinal cakes into the food at her dinner parties.

Still, it was after the morning break when she first began to notice that something was amiss.

Double-Biology was always a breeze for her. Most of the academic subjects were. What was the point in being smarter than everyone else, though, if nobody paid any attention to you? She looked enviously at the back of the classroom, where five desks were shuffled subtly closer to each other than the rest. That was where the three most popular girls and the two most popular boys sat. They were comfortably cool enough not to have to pay attention or do their homework, or make any effort in any way. One of them would occasionally come out with a wise-crack to the teacher, earning them more glory and admiration from the rest of the class.

Smart? You could keep it! Still, she hadn’t liked the way that fairy-godmother had been looking at her. As if…

“Miss Daye!”

She jumped, feeling an unaccustomed jiggling from inside her school shirt. She had no time to worry about that, however, because her biology teacher, Mr. Cross, was standing in front of her desk. A sly snigger sounded from the cool kids at the back, making Cassie hate and admire them at the same time.

“Have you been paying attention, Miss Daye?” He glared down his nose at her.

She blinked, trying to recall any of the things that he had been saying. It was impossible. She had been lost in a world of daydream and envy. Still, being teacher’s pet had to be good for something!

She fixed an endearing smile on her face. “No Mr. Cross. Sorry Mr. Cross.”

Admission, then apology. It always worked wonders. Teachers were so used to dealing with guilty denials that it threw them completely off their stride when a pupil came clean of their own free will.

Mr. Cross was no exception. His eyes shifted left and right. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Finally, he said:

“Right then. In future, try and follow the class.”

Cassandra tried. She really did. By this time, though, she had become aware of a certain tightness in the upper-clothes department. Her attention roved between what was being written on the blackboard and the twin bulges that were appearing in her blouse.

It was her imagination. It had to be!

She dragged herself back to Mr. Cross’ lecture. As he talked about the chambers of the heart, she got as far as ‘left atrium’ before sneaking a downwards glance again.

That was not her imagination! Her buttons were beginning to strain! She tentatively touched the material of her shirt, feeling an unaccustomed bulge of flesh where, this morning, there had been none.

Then she blushed with fierce heat as she noticed the boy in the desk next door, watching her with an avid leer.

Suddenly, realisation hit. This was the fairy-godmother’s doing. The old woman had done an Auntie Maggie on her! She wasn’t becoming popular – she was becoming a one-girl freak show!

Lost in her dismay, Cassandra didn’t hear Mr. Cross walking up behind her.

“Miss Daye!”

Again, she jumped. As her shoulders tensed, the blouse buttons chose their moment to pop. Cassie let out a shriek and clutched at her top as she ran from the room. In her hurry, she never noticed the eyes of each boy in the class, following the bounce of her new-found popularity…

-----------

Perfect!

Elladora let the orb dim as she leaned back in her chair. By the end of the day, Cassandra Daye would be struggling to get through doorways without doing a three-point-turn. Either that, or she would have given in and used the final wish to cancel her second.

And if that happened, there was bound to be trouble.

Much as she would have liked to sit and watch the unfortunate girl all afternoon, certain things must be done. There were plates to wash, laundry to do, floors to sweep and windows to clean. Once upon a time, she had used the wand to complete the trivial day-to-day chores. Now, though, she appreciated the chance to work off some of those cream-cakes!

Besides – there was always the next job to get underway.

It was mid-afternoon by the time she had finished the housework. Then, resolutely bypassing the temptation to sit down with the orb again, she went straight to her little black book.

Despite her new-found enthusiasm for work, she groaned aloud when she read the next name on the list.

Rose Alexander: Third wish – a pony.

If only it were that simple.

Now that she had seen what came next, though, she knew there would be no peace for her until she had faced it. Better to get it over with. Then, at least, she could come back and watch the orb in peace.

With a heavy sigh, she whooshed the wand again. A moment later, she was gone.

--------

Elladora knew immediately that she had the right bedroom. It was painted black, with a hideous red carpet underfoot. There was a collection of spangly guitars, posters with heavy-metal themes and skulls and blood, and a music system blaring music out at an ear-rattling volume.

A young man was lying face-down on a leopard-skin bedspread. He appeared to be singing along with the current track – or maybe he was just screaming his protest about it. Difficult to tell, really.

Elladora spent a hoarse thirty seconds, trying to gain his attention. Finally, she prodded him on the backside with the sharp end of her wand, then stomped over to turn the music off.

Her ears were still ringing, so she barely heard the words.

“Oh. It’s you.”

She turned, preparing herself for a thoroughly unpleasant piece of work (in both senses of the phrase).

Rose Alexander. Another job that hadn’t turned out the way it should have.

Personally, she blamed Fate. It was just like her boss to make a mistake like this, then deny all responsibility. Of course, Fate said it was Their fault, but as she blamed them at every possible opportunity, Elladora was inclined to take it with an extremely large pinch of salt.

However it had happened, it seemed that, for some reason, she had been landed with the wrong wisher. Instead of Rose Alexander, she had to deal with Alexander Rose, an eighteen year old with a taste for Krash Metal, motorbikes with no exhausts and any mind-altering substance that he could get his hands on.

Hardly the material of your average fairy-story! What made it worse was that Fate continued to supply her with a list of what Rose Alexander would be wishing for right now, if she was actually dealing with little Rose. The boy’s requests were a mystery until he spoke them to Elladora, face-to-face.

Another problem was the fact that he refused, point-blank, to believe in fairy-godmothers. He seemed to see it as his personal mission in life to prove to her – and to the rest of the world – that she was just some mad old woman with a wand and a head full of delusions. Despite the fact that she had already granted his first two wishes, she doubted that she had changed his mind.

And what a couple of wishes they had been. She shuddered at the memory of them!

It had taken her over an hour to coax the first wish out of him. Once he had been convinced that she wasn’t an LSD apparition, his eyes took on a look of glazed cunning.

“If you’re a fairy-godmother, right?”

“I am.”

“No you’re not. But if you were, right?”

“If I was… yes…?”

“Then you could do anything?”

“Anything within reason, yes.”

“No. Nonono, that’s not right. Coz, right, if you can’t do anything, then you can’t be a real, real-life fairy-godmother. Stands to reason, doesn’t it?”

“I really don’t see how.”

“Well, I’m gonna ask you to do something, and if you can’t do it, then I’ll know you’re not a fairy-godmother, coz they’re my wishes and you have to grant them? Right? Am I right?”

“Not even remotely, Mr. Rose. Still, ask away. I’ll do what I can.”

“Right then. I want… I want… peace on earth. Right? I bet you can’t fix that one. So you’re not a fairy-godmother at all, right? Admit it!”

Peace on earth, for goodness sake! She had gone back to Fate and appealed. No luck. The wish must be granted, in some form, no matter how ridiculous or extreme. Those were the rules, and they must be followed.

Well, a cessation of war was an obvious impossibility. Even arranging for a world-wide minute of silence had been a job and a half! It had drained her of power for nearly a month, and she’d had dreadful headaches for a week afterwards, but she had managed it. And still the drug-addled halfwit hadn’t believed her!

The second wish had been equally provocative. He had wanted the England Cricket Team to win the Ashes. Ridiculous! Her wand had actually short-circuited with the effort of bringing that about – and had she received a word of thanks or acknowledgement? Not a chance!

Now for the third wish. It would probably be frightful – but at least, after this, it would be over. She would never have to see the ungrateful little snot again. Besides, she had the advantage, this time, that she was no longer playing by the rules.

“What do you want?” she asked, abruptly.

“Nothing that you’ve got to offer, Granny,” sneered the boy.

Ah. It was going to be one of those sessions, was it? Very well, then.

“If you’ve got a third wish, ask for it. If not I’ll be going. I’m very busy.”

“You really are a mad old woman!”

“Do you wish to insult me?”

Alexander gave a nasal laugh. “Oh no. You’re not getting off that easy, missus. My third wish is this. If you’re real – and we both know you’re not – then there’s others like you. I want to meet another supernatural entity. Show me the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy, or something real. Not a namby-pamby fairy-godmother with a stupid tinsel wand.”

“You want to meet one of my colleagues?” Elladora gazed at him, perplexed.

“What’s the matter? Can’t handle it?” crowed the boy. “I knew you were a fake. I knew it!”

Elladora’s eyes narrowed. This was a request she hadn’t had before. Maybe she shouldn’t rush into this one.

“I’ll need to sort something out,” she said, carefully. “I’ll be back.”

Before he could argue, she was on her way to vanishing. One of her colleagues, eh? She was sure she could find something suitable. For now, though, it was time to see how things were going with Cassie and her two growing friends.

----------

As it turned out, Cassie had been having exactly the same thought. Elladora was still waiting for the orb to warm up when she received the girl’s third summons.

She rubbed her hands with glee. Problem solved. One spoiled little minx out of the way, one complaint marked against her and a fair bit of satisfaction along the route as well. Life was definitely on the up-swing.

It was tempting to make Cassandra wait. It was more tempting to go and survey the damage first-hand though. She waved her wand…

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…and re-appeared in the Cassandra Daye’s bedroom, only to have a fourteen year old girl launching towards her with nails outstretched.

Dora let the godmother-shield do its work. One of the few perks in this job was that the wisher could never assault the wish-granter. The immunity came with the role. It was quite amusing, however, to see the girl bounce off an invisible shield and fall to the floor. The jiggling had turned to full-on bouncing, a motion that continued for long seconds after the tumble was over.

Cassie was huge! She looked like a reality-show example of ‘X-Treme Plastic Surgery’. From the waist down, she was like any other teenager, all legs and no hips. Then you got to the T-shirt and found it bulging under the strain of a couple of helium balloons!

“What have you done to me?” spat the girl, picking herself up clumsily from the floor.

“Isn’t it obvious?” asked Dora.

The girl glared at her, murder in her eyes. “This isn’t what I asked for, you old bat!”

“It isn’t?” Elladora took a moment to consider Cassie. “Didn’t anyone pay attention to you?”

“Pay attention to me? Pay attention?” shrieked Cassandra. “I’ve just got a two day suspension because of you!”

Elladora felt a pang of guilt, which she quickly subdued. “Well, that’s attention, of sorts. I’ll bet you were popular with the boys, though.”

“They were behaving like a bunch of animals!” Cassie protested. “I couldn’t make them keep their filthy paws off me! And the girls were even worse! Not… I mean… they didn’t… I mean, they were complete bitches!”

“My dear, that’s how the popular girls show that you’re their equal,” answered Dora with a broad smile. “They ignore you if you’re beneath them, or try to stab you in the back if they consider you a rival. You wanted to be part of that, remember? As for the boys, I’d say you were very popular with them, from your description. I really don’t see what you’ve got to complain about.”

“I… I… That’s not what I meant, and you know it!” blustered Cassie. “Grant my wish properly or I’ll complain.”

Dora hid her delight. “Your wish has been granted. If you want me to undo it, I’m afraid that will have to count as your third commandment. Your choice.”

Cassandra looked at her in fury. Then she looked down at the bobbing masses beneath her chin. Her eyes were cold with rage as she gritted:

“You haven’t heard the last of this! Get rid of them – then get out! I never want to see you again!”

“Your wish is my command.” Elladora raised her wand and tapped Cassie on the shoulder with it. She immediately began to deflate, leaving the strange impression that she had developed a puncture. However, she was still unusually large when a voice called up from the floor below.

“Cassandra? There’s some… uh… people here to see you.”

The girl’s fury was replaced by panic. “Make them go down faster!”

“They’ll be gone, in a minute or so. In the meantime, I suggest you stall,” replied Elladora, with an arch in her eyebrow. “I, on the other hand, will be gone right now.”

Cassie whirled towards the door when she heard footsteps ascending the stairs. Her mother must have told the visitors to come up. This was all the godmother’s fault! She turned back to tell her so.

Elladora had vanished.

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She arrived back at the cottage, laughing heartily. Only when her mirth began to sound more like a cackle did she stop.

Sinking down into the armchair, she regained her breath. A great day – but one of non-stop activity. It had left her quite exhausted. Once again, she had reason to wish that the wand could be used to benefit herself. She could have filled herself with energy again, or got rid of the spare poundage that she carried… or divested herself of the role of Fairy-Godmother, without a second thought.

It was not to be, though. She would just have to switch to coffee instead of tea. There was still plenty of work to be done, on Alexander Rose’s third wish.

He wanted to meet another supernatural entity? Well, there were plenty to choose from. The knack lay in making him thoroughly regret leaving the choice of entity up to her.

She sipped her coffee and began to think…

=====

Okay. Alexander Rose needs his third wish granted. Bear in mind that Elladora has complete control, not only of the entity (any suggestions will be entertained, believe me!), but of the circumstances of the meeting and of what happens during the meeting. Creativity and malice will be rewarded by (hopefully) better chapters, so have fun!

[LordoftheNight]

summon a baginis

[Smee]

Ooh - good chapter. :)

Hmmm... this one is going to take some thought.

First ideas are something like the Abominable snowman, Yeti, etc but all they could do is growl a bit and maybe eat him.

Then I thought something like the Grim Reaper - but he'd probably enjoy that.

Maybe Santa Claus - discovering him to definately be 'naughty' and from then on nobody ever gets him a christmas present again, ever!?

You can't go for something cute and fluffy like the Tooth fairy/Easter Bunny as he already expects something like that.

Maybe Scrooge's 3 ghosts could visit - showing him a future of him locked in a loony bin having lost his mind to drugs.

I'm all out for now... :?

[Shady Stoat]

Smee wrote:
Maybe Scrooge's 3 ghosts could visit - showing him a future of him locked in a loony bin having lost his mind to drugs.

I'm all out for now... :?

Thanks Smee. :D

If you're talking about visions of the future, though... what about Father Time? He may cheat at cards, but he's probably more available than scrooge's ghosts? :P

[Ingrothechundyer]

How about fate? We still owe fate for the flowers :P

[ethereal_fauna]

Darn it, Smee stole my post. :-o

I'll continue thinking on this and if something brilliant comes to mind I'll post it. Although the father time suggestion is a good one too.

[Shady Stoat]

OK, this wish appears to be much harder than I'd expected. It's difficult to judge when you're writing the story. My apologies. :)

Thinking along slightly different lines might help. Having a terrifying apparition may be wonderful but, as they say, 'It's not the size of your club, it's how you swing it.' ;)

Even the Tooth Fairy could be terrifying in the right circumstances. Imagine a trip to the dentist, with the tooth fairy as your dental practitioner, and a set of restraints on the chair? You may have a pile of loose change at the end of it, but no teeth left!

On the other hand, even Death can fail to be frightening, if all he does is hold out a skeletal hand and mutter 'how do you do'? It's all in the application of the wish.

[LordoftheNight]

i do think that getting Fate involved would be a good idea - especially as I think Doro would love to have control over her - even for a limited time only

[ethereal_fauna]

Actually, now that I've thought about it, why don't you invite Cupid? As Smee pointed out, he wouldn't be exactly impressed, or even overly inclined to complain, with just the tooth fairy (although you did mention a devious tooth fairy scenario). And the Grim Reaper would just be cool. This twit needs to be traumatized, on a meeting-the-teletubbies level.

What could be more traumatic than a cherubic little dude with a naked arse? Especially if said entity made you fall hopelessly in love with your portly fairy godmother. :twisted:

Her flowers were already trampled by Fate, so it shouldn't be too bad having our lovestruck Mr Rose standing on them outside the window, singing a death-metal love ballad to his new sweetheart. Should amuse, and hopefully wear off before the unrequited love becomes too annoying. And then there will be howling complaints, especially if any of his friends see him.

[Smee]

Quote: cherubic little dude with a naked arse :lol: ROFL

A great idea - I love it.

Maybe not his fairy godmother, but the general idea is fantastic. :)

Maybe a cheesy boyband member - Imagine the spell wearing off to find himself screaming along with thousands of teenage girls at one of the concerts ;)

[ethereal_fauna]

:rofl: A boyband member...now that is excellent.

[Chinaren]

My first thought was also Fate. However I also like the idea of Cupid. I can't think of anything else at the moment though. :|


Great chapter Stoaty! :D

[Shady Stoat]

There's a 3day poll up again. Vote and be damned ;)

[Ingrothechundyer]

Got to go with Fate :)

[LordoftheNight]

voted

[Solomon Birch]

Phew, made it. Great chapter Ms. Stoat!

Voted for Cupid, as it would be quite hard to disbelieve that little guy :lol: , and because you could have him do many funny, evil things...... :lol: :-D

[Shady Stoat]

OK, Cupid it is. I'll see what mischief I can dream up :)

Writing now....