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Avarice. Chapter 1 - Tower - And comments from ch 1 - 4.
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 8:17 pm    Post subject:  

Yoiks! A three way tie. Anyone want to break it?
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D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 10:20 pm    Post subject:  

Tie broken. And don't forget the conflict with his daughter, it has to reappear somewhere in the next few (1-3) chapters. :D

I think it is the most interesting part of the story so far.
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DukeReg



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 287
Location: Australia

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 8:03 pm    Post subject:  

Oh my, oh my,
I created a tie. :oops:
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Shogun



Joined: 15 Aug 2005
Posts: 628
Location: In your nightmares, feeding on your fears.

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 10:32 pm    Post subject:  

I broke the tie.
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:01 am    Post subject:  

Okay then.

Attempt to distract her and knock her out, then restrain and question her.

...won, so I will commence work on the next chapter. If you have any new challenges, get 'em in the Marketplace thread fast!
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LordoftheNight



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 6:27 am    Post subject:  

Quote: Scrambling back down to his captor his hissed at her. “You win this time my pretty. Just remember how I leave you alive!” With one finally stroke of her long black hair, he crawled off.

Captive surely? She's his prisoner.

I don't know - I like the sound of Bis'p, purely as he has an amusing name. I'd go see him. Questioning the woman is probably a good idea too, though she may be disinclinded to help him, seeing how he knocked her out.
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Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 1:55 pm    Post subject:  

Go and pillage the Bis'p's stuff, and find all the books he can. Can Smur actually read, though?

If he can, maybe he could impress the woman later with his knowledge of old things from the books. Or make a complete buffoon of himself, alternatively, since her tribe is from a place where they also have knowledge of the Old World.

Bit of a lame idea, but that's all I have at the moment.
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D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 5:41 pm    Post subject:  

Interesting plot. I like the old theme of searching for the last piece of a habitable place. It reminds me of Nausica, and Waterworld (and any flood story).

Anyway, I've had enough of Draggon for now, let's see what the Bishop can get us.
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 5:33 am    Post subject:  

Quote: Can Smur actually read, though?

Yes indeed he can. You will find out more about our 'hero' later in the story!

Any other ideas before I put a poll up?
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Lilith



Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 1597
Location: Happily curled up in a Daemon's lap

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 4:29 pm    Post subject:  

I have been reading this for a bit, China but this is the first time I have posted on it.. I am still not sure what to make of it! But it is well-written and creative!
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Chinaren



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 6:48 am    Post subject:  

K. Bis'p it is then!
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Idea master



Joined: 10 May 2004
Posts: 1787
Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages.

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 7:59 am    Post subject:  

There has got to be some way. Perhaps he could hide behind the old tub o' lard while he makes his slow, threatened way to the treasure tent. When he gets there, Smur kills the Bis'p, thus calling the shades down on them all, and runs in at that moment, thus getting the books, getting out of there, and killing a few people in the process.

Works for me. Let's see you write it, Chinny.
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Lilith



Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 1597
Location: Happily curled up in a Daemon's lap

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 9:08 am    Post subject:  

*shudders at the Bis'p's behavior* Torture the information of which books Smur needs out of him first but make sure he can't be overheard by any guards or anyone of importance. Then kill him.. he has no other purpose. Throw the boy's body and the Bis'p's out to distract the Shades and kill anyone in Smur's path to the books.. again leaving bodies as distractions.
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Crunchyfrog



Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:19 am    Post subject:  

I think the boy was meant to be a mercy killing... he was a captive of the B'sop. Smur obviously has some compassion... and he is a parent of a child himself. If he throws the boy's body out in the darkness, the Shades would get his soul.

He could push the B'sop out of the tent, and guard it himself... the B'sop may have no choice but to go to the treasure tent.

The B'sop will obviously alert the guards that there is an intruder in his tent, that has killed the boy. This would divert the guards, Smur would have a very small space of time in which to slip out of the tent, and get to the treasure tent himself.

Smur catches up with the B'sop (who is not as fast on his feet as Smur) and marches him into the treasure tent.
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D-Lotus



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 12:16 am    Post subject:  

I have no better idea myself. Toughy.
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Sunburst
Guest





Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:18 pm    Post subject: Crude, definatley. Effective, maybe.  

Break his ankles, this will give Smur his blood thirsty satisfaction. Then get the blob some sort of wheelchair. This way you can go into the tent with the monster saying to the guards that you are assisting him after a nasty fall he had. Keeping knife close to belly at all times.
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Chinaren
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Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 8:20 pm    Post subject:  

I was all ready to start the next chapter when I realized I hadn't put a poll up for this one.

It is now though, so skin the body of voting...
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Evocator
Guest





Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 5:52 am    Post subject:  

Same as one of the above people, I've read all of Smur's adventures and this is my first time posting, but I should think I'll be posting more often from now on. I luv this storyline :D
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Crunchyfrog
Guest


Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 3998

Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 6:16 am    Post subject:  

*is the 6th person to vote and :rofl: at 3 way tie*

:D
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Chinaren
Guest


Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 4:19 am    Post subject:  

Right then. Breaking the ankles it is then, you gruesome lot you.

Poll is closed, I'm starting work on chapter 5... now. :D
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