City of IF

Liana · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 134 Location: Insanity.

Prologue

Life is a soap opera. Or at least it seems like it here at Drama High. The school isn't really called "Drama High", it's supposed to be Darma High. But of course no one calls it that. Even the teachers slip up and say "Drama" instead of "Darma". Sex, drugs, lies, it's all here. Walking down the hallowed halls at Drama High, one witnesses at least three couples swapping spit and two drug deals. You're probably thinking,

"Why doesn't she tell anyone these things are going on?" The answer to that is simple my friend. Would you rather be a snitch and get your ass kicked everyday for the rest of you natural life, or be silent and safe? If you'd rather be a snitch......let's just say I won't be present at your funeral. Usually if you don't bother someone they won't bother you, right? Wrong. Here, people pick fights just to fight. Why watch TV, when you can simply pull up a chair and watch the scene around you? It's actually a pretty good show. Where do I fit into this? Well I'll tell you where I don't first. I'm not a jock or a cheerleader. I'm not goth, though some of my friends are. I'm definately not girly. Then again, I'm not butch either. My parents aren't rich, and I'm not especially brilliant. I'm not a thug or a wuss. Now I'll tell you what I am. I'm under the radar. I stay out of peoples' way as long as they stay out of mine. I've been called weird; but hey, who hasn't?

Liana · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 134 Location: Insanity.

Chapter 1: The Drama Begins........

"Lisi! Get up now!" my mom yells. And so begins the drama that is my life.

"I'm up already," I answer.

"That's what you said ten minutes ago!"

"I mean it this time."

"You'd better!" She calls. I drag my tired self out of bed and into the bathroom. I look in the mirror and groan. My hair is sticking up and the corners of my eyes are crusty. Slowly, I pull off my pajamas and step into the shower. I turn the water on as hot as I can stand, and let it wash the sleep from my body. I wash my hair quickly and step out of the shower, refreshed. I wrap a towel around myself and another around my hair. Walking into the hallway, I am greeted by the smiling face of Bobby, our neighbor boy.

"Tyler!" I yell, "What is Bobby doing camped out in front of the bathroom?"

"Mom's giving him a ride to school today. Remember?" my ten year-old brother shouts back.

"I know that. I asked why he was camped out in front of the bathroom."

"I dunno," Tyler replies. I push past Bobby and into my room. I lock the door behind me.

"Little creep...." I mutter under my breath. I turn up the radio to drown out the sounds of the mad house I live in. I slide into my not-so-designer jeans and an evanecence tee. I quickly put on my well worn skate shoes and hurry downstairs.

"You're gonna be late!" my mom yells at me.

"No I won't" I say, knowing full well I will be.

"Your hair's wet."

"I know, I'll put it up," I lie. I grab my bookbag and my keys and head for the door.

"What about breakfast?"

"I'll get it at school," another lie. I hurry out the door before she can bitch about anything else. I fight with my old dodge shadow for five minutes before the door grudgingly opens. "Beat up piece of shit" I mutter as I climb in. It's another ten minutes before it finally warms up.

"Lisi! You forgot your swim stuff!" my mom yells out the front door.

"Shit!" I get out of my car and race to the front door. "Thanks." I grab the bag and run back to my car. I pull out of the driveway before my mom can tell me I'm going to be late again. "A shitty start to a shitty day." I murmur. I have a bad habit of talking to myself in public. I walk into the school and search for my boyfriend. Two strong arms slide around my waist.

"Hey Rob," I say turning to meet his beautiful green eyes. Our lips meet and my knees turn to jello. "Mmmm, my day just got a little bit better."

"I bet it did," he smiles, "I'll see you after school." He turns to leave.

"Wait!" I grab his arm, "Where are you going?"

"I have a yearbook meeting," he explains.

"Before school? I thought you had one after school?"

"I do," he says impatiently.

"Ok...." I say a little puzzled.

"I'm working on a special project."

"Oh." He walks away, leaving me standing by the doors to the auditorium. "See you later, I guess." I say, knowing he won't hear me.

"Hey, Lisi!" a voice says from behind. I turn to meet the smiling face of my hyperactive friend Marie.

"Why are you always so hyper in the morning?" I ask, annoyed at Rob.

"I don't know," she says, her ponytail bouncing noticeably.

"C'mon," I say and head for my locker.

"Ok." She bounces along behind me. Already my friends have congregated around my locker.

"Conner, Kate, Maddy, Kasey," I nod to them all. I grab my books and head to my first period class, choir. Choir at Drama High is a joke. It's basically a study hall with about five or so minutes of singing mixed in. Basically we just sit around and talk. Which is fine with me. I mean come on, can you say easy a? Conner, Marie, Kate, and I take our usual seats in the back. Right away Marie starts in with the gossip.

"Oh my god! Did you hear about what happened this weekend..." she babbles. I zone out, fully intending on watching the back of my eyelids for the rest of the period. With only four periods a day, plus lunch, that's a good hour and twenty minutes nap. The bell rings before I know it and I'm off to biology. I love it in there. I just sit next to Kate, play with a mouse, and read . I'm deeply immersed in my book when Kate nudges me.

"One, your mouse is escaping. Two it's time for lunch."

"Already?" I look at the clock. "I guess so." I put the mouse back in the cage with the others in the back of the classroom. Lunch is pretty uneventful. Two girls get into a catfight. And some idiot gets hauled away to the principal's office for sexual harassment, the usual. Third period is history. Again, I sit in the back of the classroom. Though in this class my ex-boyfriend Danny is in that class. He pisses me off. I doodle in my notebook for the whole period. Art is the last class of the day. The only class I pay attention in might I add. Though today I'm having a hard time keeping still. I can't wait to see Rob after school. I haven't been seeing much of him lately.

"Lisi, get to work," Mr. Hall, the art teacher, says.

"Sorry Mr. H," I say, snapping out of my daydream. I look back at the still life props and finish my drawing. The bell rings and I race to the auditorium where plan to suprise Rob after his meeting. The year book staff usually meets in there unless they have to use the computers. I slip in quietly. I climb onto the stage. I don't see him or any of the members of the yearbook staff. "That's odd," I mutter. I hear a giggle from around the corner. I peer around the corner to see Rob and in his arms kissing him, Maddy.

Chinaren · Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 4:18 am Post subject:

Well written and totally, like, shocking. :-o

I assume the DP is what you do next?

Well, you can either storm up and bitchslap them both, or pretend you didn't see anything and plot evil vengence. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Liana · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 134 Location: Insanity.

you read my mind China. I'm gonna wait a bit and see what others have to say but you were right. That's exactly what I had in mind.

Christalnightshade · Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 8:36 am Post subject:

Great story, it brings memories back... :D
I say confront the bi** and your soon to be 'ex' boyfriend. :P
This story really fits in with the name.

Keep at it and it'll be promoted. :D

nightshade. o-)

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1108

Lia, Lia, Lia.... you really are toying with me aren't you, my dear saati?
You should know what my answer will be already..

Walk away and pretend nothing happened.. keep letting Rob think he's getting away with it.... plot your revenge on them both... something slow and painful for him especially ..... make sure to recruit your closest friend (who obviously isn't Maddie).... and when Maddie and Rob least expect it... that's when you strike, hard and fast... show them that you are not someone to be walked over.

Guest · Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 4:07 pm Post subject:

Go for the bitch slap.

LordoftheNight · Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5220 Location: Hell

chinaren wrote: Well written and totally, like, shocking. :-o

I assume the DP is what you do next?

Well, you can either storm up and bitchslap them both, or pretend you didn't see anything and plot evil vengence. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I'm disappointed in you China. Obviously the best plan is to 'accidently' walk in on them, and then pretend you had a thing for Maddy all along. Get them drunk, get something started...

...then take pictures and leave. Blackmail material is always worth the effort.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 3684 Location: Hollywood, USA

Yo, nice story. I like the flow, really. Although that's all there is to it in a story like this. But I like it, seriously- It kinda reminds me of some Kalanna style.

Quote: ...then take pictures and leave. Blackmail material is always worth the effort

It says in the story that the character is 'under the radar', not completely weird and excessively cruel.

Although I'd like to F5 Lily, I think the character would probably shriek, run away, and cry.

Kalanna Rai · Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:01 am Post subject:

I like stories about screwed up high schools although yours is a little more conventional than mine...I mean at least the main character is a real student...

As for what she should do...well turn about's fair play and payback is a bitch.

I suggest walking up to him and with a cold smile on her face and playing like she knew he was cheating all the long...but only wanted to catch him at it.

Drop a few hints you've got another prospect all lined up while your at it...

dinranwen · Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:19 pm Post subject:

Perfectly lovely Liania...Perfectly Lovely. Chinaren's right, this story is written well on all accounts. Good character potrayal, Good Setting, Good Written Illustration, and so far a good plot. Keep it Up! :D

Strangly, this reminds me of my High School *looks dreamy* although I don't why.

Having no good ideas of my own, I'll set around and wait for a poll.

LordoftheNight · Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5220 Location: Hell

Poll is up.

Christalnightshade · Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 4:00 am Post subject:

AH. I say plot revenge. I t sounds so cool, make it funny. Like sticking their pictures on fat people... Or something funny, but I dont know how. I'll come back with stuff, just not lordly's seggestion abiout get something started, or wait plot revenge, let the guy cheat on her or let them fight.

nightshade

Liana · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 134 Location: Insanity.

Nice, from the looks of it, it's unanimous. Everyone wants Lisi to sneak away and plot revenge. Ok then dear readers, I'm up for suggestions on revenge. Scheme away!

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1108

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should know better than to allow me to scheme away, saati.. heh heh heh!

Okay, well, since Maddie obviously doesn't give a damn about Lisi, then it's time to play the game on Maddie's level. Lisi could go home and pretend she didn't see a thing, while plotting revenge in her head. I suggest a set up where Lisi gets physical with Maddie's man and somehow, both Rob and Maddie have been lured somewhere close enough to know what's going on. And coincidently, Maddie's man also happens to be Rob's best friend and had no idea of Maddie's infidelity.

So in short.... sleep with Maddie's boyfriend/Rob's best friend

Ain't I a b.itch?

Guest · Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:56 pm Post subject:

Dang it! I wanted some right away action, but I'm sure this story will have other types of...action.

Waiting for the next chappy.

Liana · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 134 Location: Insanity.

ok......poll is closed. I'll get the next chappy up soon.

Sasuke · Joined: 04 Jan 2007 Posts: 96 Location: Keron

AWESOMENESS, in forte Lia. (I have no Idea why I said that it's a me thing I suppose) but since you've got a poll already that's all I can say for awhile

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2243

A great start, Liana! Looking forward to seeing how this will develop...

Liana · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 134 Location: Insanity.

Prelude to Revenge

I slip away, unoticed. "Yearbook my ass..." I mutter when I'm out of earshot. Hot tears slide down my cheeks. "How could they do this to me?" I whisper angrily. In addition to talking to myself in public normally, I do it much more often when I'm upset. "Oh that burns me." My knees go weak and I slide to the floor, still crying. My face contorts in pain and rage. People walk by me without so much as glancing at me. I feel like I'm invisible. Have I suddenly blended in with the coarse brick of the wall? No, basic Drama High code; don't bother people while a meltdown is taking place, unless you have a death wish.

"There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere.....we have a swim meet......" Kate trails off, noticing the tear streaks on my face. "Are you ok?" I nod and wipe my tears. "Really, what's wrong Babe?" Kate is concerned, I'd have to be blind to miss that.

"I'll be fine." I pull myself to my feet. "Walk with me?" I ask, still teary-eyed.

"Of course." We walk down the halls, past several stoners doing a drug deal. We reach my locker, it's puke green paint job making me nauseous. I grab my swim bag, and we walk away. I sigh.

"I just saw Maddy and Rob making out."

"What? Where?" Kates asks, open mouthed.

"In the auditorium," I start to sob again. "He said he was working on a special project...I guess his project was sucking face with her!"

"Oh Lisi." is all that Kate can manage. I can tell she doesn't know what to say, it's written all over her face.

"Don't tell anyone?" I ask.

"Of course not. But what are you going to do?"

"Nothing for now. I'm going to pretend nothing has happened." I'm really crying now.

"But Lisi, you have to do something." Kate replies.

"I can't. Not yet." My tears are a waterfall down my face.

"Oh honey." Kate says, hugging me.

"Come on, we have a meet."

"Are you sure you want to go?"

"I don't want to, but have to." I say through my tears.

"I'm sure coach would understand." Kate offers. I take a deep breath.

"No she's a b.itch. There is no way I'm missing a meet because of...." I can't finish. "Anyway, I'm not going to miss the meet." I swallow hard and try to quell my tears. Kate decides no to argue with me, which is a good idea might I add. We walk towards the natatorium, every step I'm fighting to keep my composure. We walk into the locker room and over to our lockers. I ignore the constant chatter that floods my ears. My body goes into autopilot. I put on my black and silver team suit methodically. I put on my warmups and slip my feet back into my flips without much thought. I decide that thinking is a particulary bad idea at the moment.

"Are you ready?" Kate asks, shaking me out of my dangerous thoughts. She sounds like she's repeated herself a couple of times. I look around and notice that the rest of the team is staring at me as if I'm from mars.

"Yeah, sorry I guess I just spaced out for a second." I lie. The rest of the team and I walk into the pool room. The guys joins us right outside the door. The team starts the cheer.

"WHO ARE WE?" a senior yells.

"BULLSHARKS!" the rest of the team answers.

"WHAT ARE WE HERE TO DO?"

"WIN!"

"HOW?"

"SWIM HARD! SWIM FAST! TEAR 'EM TO SHREDS THE BULLSHARK WAY!" the team finishes the cheer I've heard a zillion times. We run past the faded, rusty sign that has the last part of our cheer on it. We take turns slapping it as we go by. I contemplate the chances of cutting myself on it and contracting tetnus. Too painful, I decide. Instead I trudge over to the edge of the pool. The rest of the team dives in and starts warming up. I just stand there, a zombie.

"Care to join us?" Kate asks gently.

"Working on it." I reply softly.

"Hurry up Lisi! Get in the water now!" my evil coach yells at me. I dive into the pool. I gasp at the coldness of the water. I taste the chlorinated pool water. I start swimming an easy freestyle. I'm just going through the motions, no real emotion in it. I pick up speed, pouring a little bit of my heart into it. "Alright, everyone out!" coach yells after what seems like only a few seconds. I drag myself out of the pool, scraping my knees on the pink tiled floor as usual. What kind of idiot puts in a pool with no ladders? Do they want us to get some sort of weird disease from the disgusting tile? I join the team not as tired as I usually am after a hard warmup. The rest of the team; however, is gasping for air. "Here's the line up." she says and tapes the line up sheet to a wall. The team crowds around it. I wait until the crowd dies down before looking for my name. I'm swimming the 200 yard individual medly. I groan.

"200 IM?" Kate guesses, grimacing playfully. She's trying to cheer me up, it's not working. I nod. "Oh, it looks like she's got you down for the 100 yard freestyle too." she adds. I look back at the paper. I feel like ripping my coach's eyes out, but think better of it on account of the fact I don't want to have to swim in a bloody pool.

"Shit." I mutter.

"Want me kill coach for you?" she asks jokingly.

"Please?" I reply. I glance at Coach with her fake smile. She's the kind of person that smiles even when she's being a btich, which is most of the time.

"Sure, why not."

"Eh....this is the last place I want to be right now."

"I bet. Just put all your emotion into your races. Swim your heart and soul out." Kate says wisely.

"I know, thanks though." I sit and wait for my races. The 100 comes up first. I swim it easily, daring the wench beside me to pass me. She just out touches me and I take second. I mutter a few choice words that would make the devil blush. It's the IM that I'm dreading. It comes too soon.

"Lisi you're up!" Coach screeches.

"I'm coming." I reply and drag myself to the blocks.

"Good luck Lisi!" I hear a voice say behind me. I turn, the voice familiar. I search the crowd and my eyes widen. My twin sister, who lives with our dad, meets my eyes. Only a few of my friends know I have an identical twin. She lives about fifty miles away with our poor excuse for a father. Before I can say anything to my sister, the official tells us the "step up". I step onto the block and wait for the start. The buzzer sounds and I'm off in a flash. The faster I swim the faster I find out what my sister is doing here. I struggle through butterfly, my shoulders cursing me for letting Coach know that I'm one of the only people on our team that doesn't drown while doing this stroke. I flip effortlessly onto my back for the backstroke. I power down the lane, leaving a tsunami in my wake. I do an impressive backflip back onto my stomach for the breaststroke. The girl next to me tries to edge up on me. No way that's happening. I kick my aching legs and flip into freestyle. My last lap absolutely sucks but I finish hard. I haul my aching body out of the pool. I head for the locker room, nodding to my sister to follow me. She nods back. By the time she finds me I'm standing in the shower, letting the hot water caress my shoulders and back.

"Evey, what are you doing here?" I ask, still out of breath. The hot water feels so good. I think my shoulders are about to go on strike.

"Can't I visit my favorite sister without a reason?" Evey says as innocently as possible. Which isn't very innocent if you know my sister.

"Evey, cut the crap, I'm your only sister." I say flatly.

"Let's just say I thought you needed me." I hate it when she attempts to be cryptic.

"Did Kate call you?" I ask accusingly. She winces, knowing I've caught her.

"I pleade the fifth." she says, mischeviously. I roll my eyes.

"So you know...." I can't finish. Without warning, I collapse onto the tile floor crying. I've got to quit doing that! My chest feels like it's on fire. "Oh Evey, how could they do this to me?" Evey rushes over to me. She wraps her arms around me even though I'm soaked.

"Shhhh now. Everything will be alright." She coos.

"No it won't! It hurts so bad!" I wail.

"Yes it will. I'll make sure of that." Her mouth settles into a grim line.

DP: What will Evey do? Any sugesstions?

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1108

Yes, my dear everything will be alright. Don't you love our brainstorming sessions, saati? I can't wait to see what delicious ideas come from Evey's mind.... :cool:

Sasuke · Joined: 04 Jan 2007 Posts: 96 Location: Keron

oooh if i'm correct this will lead up to you're great revenge *schemes* well i'm once again hoping I don't end up like most guys *defying fate is hard, but hey thats why I'm a half-dragon* and now, I say, Let there be evilness abound.

Thank you, and good night.

Christalnightshade · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 11:38 pm Post subject:

Wonderful Liana absulutaly wonderful. It cought my attention once again. *looks about* bullsharks! where?

O but ofcourse my mind could make brain storming too... mmmm. very great liana and well put, quite funny what your charrecter said about sucking dace. LOL

I shall see I shall see- har har. Now To the plot and to the hospital, just hope he doesn't show up...

Give you any ideas

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2243

Great dialogue, but I found this chapter a bit rushed, it was missing a description of the surroundings. This could be fleshed out a bit more with describing the scene, expressions on faces, and so on, to bring on more life.

Otherwise, good stuff!

Liana · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 134 Location: Insanity.

Is that any better CF? I tried.....

Christalnightshade · Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 1:21 pm Post subject:

Hey I think it is great man. I didn't mind on the seroundings because this is more focused upon feelings and poeple, expressions now that might be missing but I think It is great Liana.

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2243

That is better!

The DP is not clear, though... there is only one real suggestion so far, and I cannot come up with any. You need to help your readers out at the end of each chapter, asking for suggestions. This guidance was also missing from your previous chapter too, we had to guess what the DP might be. This is something that a storygame might fail a review on. ;)

Add a DP to your chapter, (e.g., what will happen next? or what will the character do? Maybe add a few options yourself. Check out a couple of other SG's for some examples of DPs at the end of the chapters.)

It might be a good idea to repeat the DP again as a new post, (as a few posts have been added now and people might not see your edit)

:D

Liana · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 134 Location: Insanity.

Ok all....... what is Evey going to do? Plot away dear readers.

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1108

MUAHAHAHA! Well, well, it's obvious that Evey is going to be "taking care of Rob and Maddie." I have two options.... unimaginable torture (PM me for that later) or my earlier suggestion of sleeping with his best friend /Maddie's B/F and using that as blackmail.. under the guise of Evey being Lisi of course..
:shock: :lol:

Liana · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 134 Location: Insanity.

that's a solid idea Lily........any others?

Kang · Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 4:37 pm Post subject:

The evil plots are good but what if Evey found some one for Lisi to parade in front of Rob and Maddie but have it where under the surface over time Lisi actually starts having feelings for this other guy that way not only will the damage be less on Lisi but it will help her plot her revenge on Rob and it will give her an extra person to help pull it off. just an idea though

Lilith · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1108

Everyone, let's give Liana a round of applause for her SG being moved to Jester Park! *a crashing round of applause sweeps the room*

Maybe you could combine mine and Kangs ideas? That would be very nifty! :cool:

Kang · Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 4:46 pm Post subject:

Just goes to show that great minds can and so sometimes think alike *wink*

Liana · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 134 Location: Insanity.

I like it guys...... Lisi could tell maddy's boyfriend about the cheating and they could hook up to get back at them. then they could develope feelings for each other. but what about Evey?

Crunchyfrog · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 2243

Perhaps Evey has an old score to settle with Lisi.

Having already posed as Lisi and spoiled things with Rob, (causing him to move on to Maddy) she's going to stir it up about some past incident, combine it with the current situation and make matters worse for Lisi, whilst all the while acting the innocent party.