City of IF

[Chinaren]

Here's a new series of comps I'll be holding on and off as time permits.

I don't have so much time to administer the comp at the mo, so I'm making this a simple one, and sponsored by the city, not me.

All you have to do is a paragraph or maybe two, describing a simple event. It's free to enter, so all you have to do is post below!

When I deem there is enough entries, or enough time has elapsed, I'll put it to the vote.

The competition is to see who can come up with the most descriptive, vivid description!

Easy!

So, the first QuEasy comp is:

Describe an explosion!!

You don't have to write why the thing's exploding, what causes the explosion or how the event came to pass. Just the explosion itself.

Let's see how people do with this one.

More rules may be added in future.

Winner will get 333 Fables from the Treasury.

So, what you waiting for? Do it! Do it now!

[D-Lotus]

Writhing Mausoleum

"Ah...a...Etchchoooo!"

A concentration of snot and pieces of masticated bananas erupted from his nostrils at the same time as the fierce convulsions shivered his spine and wobbled his feet. The thunderous discharge reverberated throughout the mausoleum, frightening the bats perched on the ceiling and startling them into flight. The dead corpses, revived by the flurry and gust of wings, laboriously arose from their marble coffins and moaned. The rats scurried between the man's tremulous legs whilst fleeing from the haunting, forsaken groans. Once more, he staggered about as yogurt and orange juice blasted from his mouth like water from a fire hydrant, splattering an upright corpse and knocking her back into her coffin. The spasms resumed without respite, inducing him to vomit a pulp of mashed potatoes and four coins, and juddering his body about like an uncontrolled hose. He clamped his hands over his bleeding mouth and nose, and subsequently, gelatin and strawberry jam began dribbling slowly from his ears. A sudden, conclusive mammoth of a shudder rocked his figure, and instantaneously his entire head exploded, showering the entire congregation of ghouls with pieces of brain and cheddar cheese.

[The Meaning Of Fear]

(Wow... You have a strange imagination, D)

16:48

The explosives expert sat in front of the bomb, sweating profusely. He had managed to open it up, hoping that it was a simple design, but no such luck. A mess of wires was inside, all sticking into an otherwise completely sealed metal box inside the bomb case. This was like one of those old James Bond movies, except this was real life, and in real life, you usually end up cutting the wrong one. He quickly chose a random one, and cut it.

A white light engulfed the building and its surroundings, completely obliterating them in an explosion of intense flames and flying debris. Seconds later, the whole city block has been destroyed, leaving behind almost no trace of the disaster that just took place. The only things that might suggest something happened, were the absence oh the buildings, and a huge, smoking crater where the buildings used to be.

16:50

(Does anyone get that? The numbers are supposed to be representing 24 hour time, and is supposed to tell you that it took less than 2 minutes for the place to be wiped off the face of the planet.)

[Kalanna Rai]

At first there was darkness. Then a pinprick of light began to expand, brilliant white and searing. Layers of light began to fall away from it, like the unfolding petals of some luminous flower. Like sheets of glowing silk they expanded, sweeping everything before them as they rushed into fading oblivion. Sherbet colors of daybreak became the glaring golds of a desert noon before falling into the deep russets of autumn and the twilights of winter. The nebulous hues pulsed around that core of luminesence, sweeping and dancing and they wrought their brilliant distruction until, at last, it was over. A new star blazed in the heavens, a supernova still shimmering in the farthest reaches of the cosmos. As radiation sterilized worlds nearby, the inhabitants final thoughts were those of dazzling beauty. A fatal dawn in all the glory of the rainbow...

[Rune]

Day 1/9
It began in flickering flame. Orange at first, then favoring red. Other colors revealed themselves quickly, eager to join the fray until finally all was more or less white. It grew to magnificent proportions, illuminating the darkness around it; destroying that which housed it, before finally being laid to rest.

In the beginning there was the void and all was darkness. Then God said 'Let there be light'. However, it was his first try and things hadn't gone as planned. He'd have to start over and create an infinite void from scratch. It was going to cost him a day.

Day 1/8
"Woops" stated the Lord.

[Lebrenth]

POP!

[Chinaren]

He stumbled forward, staggering from side to side towards the wall. He wasn't going to make it.

Hands went to his mouth, cheeks bulged. Something had to give. It did.

The mouth was forced open and a mass of multicolored, half digested food exploded through fingers. A cone of mashed chunks projectile vomited outwards, forming an arc in the air, glistening like a moist, mutant rainbow.

As if in slow motion, the vomit impacted the wall infront of him, blowback splattering his shirt with tiny gooey shrapnel. The rest formed an almost perfect circle of brown chunks, specked with carroty orange bits.

"Better out than in." He staggered away. Still time for another drink.

- Based on a true story.

[Lebrenth]

Chinaren wrote: "Better in than out."

((Just checking... did you put that backwards on purpose?))

[algu95]

At first there was nothing. Then there was light. Then the world was created...

Somwhere in Nevada.

The henhouse was nearly empty, but you could hear strange noises coming out of it (NO NOT THAT YOU DAMN PERVERT!!!). At first it sounded like someone farting, then like a popping champangne.

There was a hen in there... And...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!

Then the egg hatched, but by then big crunch had already happened... The egg had blown it all up.

[Mephistopheles]

(hehe, this would not have been my first choice for this, but i saw a theme, and an unused orifice, so, i had to explore it!)

"Oh God, Please let me make it!" A man rushed towards the white door with the little pic of a dude on it. It swung inwards easily enough, and soon the man was stumbling, butt cheeks clinched tightly, as his sphincter threatened to open and allow the discharge of of everything foul within him. He found an empty stall. He jerked his pants downwards, but that tiny moment of relaxation necessary to allow the slacks freedom from between his legs was all it took. A thick, stinking stream of fluid gushed out of his open anus, flooding his underwear, running down his legs, filling his shoes as he stood there in horror and humiliation. The brown slop ceased as he puckered his rectum and pulled his underwear down. Another push gripped him, and the pain in his lower intestines caused him to bend in agony. Another stream spewed forth, striking the walls of the cubicle, the toilet, the little white roll of paper that he should have been able to clean himself with had he done this properly. The smell overwhelmed him, and a man next to him retched. Vomit could be heard striking the floor next to him, then swearing, as the man realized that he had just puked on his brand new loafers. "My God, but that is foul!" the retching man said. He stood and rushed out of the stall, pausing to grab a towel from the attendant.

He finally managed to sit on the feces covered toilet, adding to the amount of fecal matter that covered him. He put his hands on both sides of the stall, ignoring the way that the carrots, beans and corn squashed under his hands. Another gush of fluid striking fluid could be heard and then the sound of air being popped off at little intervals. pffft. pfffft. brrrrffftt. A final huge blast issued out, shaking the stalls. Even the attendant had left the room at that point, altho he had had the courtesy to leave a large amount of towels laying on the counter very near the cubicle, so that the man with the leaky arse would be able to clean himself at least a little. Finally satisfied that the explosiveness of his digestive tract was through, he stood, stripped his clothes off, and washed in the sinks with the towels that had so thoughtfully been left behind. He wrapped one about his waist, and headed towards the door. His face reddened deeply, for there was a mass crowd looking at the door. Just as he turned to rush back in, pffft!


(hmm, upon re-reading, i do hope that this qualifies as describing an explosion. ah well, maybe someone will at least get a chuckle out of it!)

[NeverNeverGirl]

An explosion - hmm let me see what i can come up with here.

Her fingers streched out on their own accord and her toes began to curl. The burning sensation began in her legs but was soon running the length of her spine in an attempt to drive her brain crazy. Her back arched and she felt herself struggling to gain breath, throwing her head backwards she rode wave after wave of white hot pinpricks which swept the length of her body in a pleasurable pain sensation. Her body moved from burning to tingling and she found herself overcome. Limbs spasming involuntarily (but oh so voluntarily!) she found she could no longer contain the fire within her and her voice rung out of its own accord.

When she could finally move again she rolled onto her side, no longer caring about anything other than the here and now. Curling into a foetal position she snuggled into the warmth that streched himself out behind her. His strong arms wrapped laconically around her waist as she found herself slipping away into the gentle slumber that comes to most post-coitus.

[Chinaren]

Lebrenth wrote: Chinaren wrote: "Better in than out."

((Just checking... did you put that backwards on purpose?))

Oops! No! Thanks, fixed.

Wow you lot. This one's turned into something more than I thought! I blame D for starting it. Messy, I considered doing one like that myself! Nene, tastefully done, but I think you've been hanging out with Messy too much! ;)

OKay, we have 9 entries so far. I think the poll will only handle 10 or 11 choices, so one if there's one more entry I'll close the comp for voting.

[D-Lotus]

Quote: (hmm, upon re-reading, i do hope that this qualifies as describing an explosion. ah well, maybe someone will at least get a chuckle out of it!)

Well done, meph. I was retching with digust and laughing uncontrollably at the same time. :lol:

Quote: Wow you lot. This one's turned into something more than I thought! I blame D for starting it.

Hmm, you may be right. Still, I couldn't contain myself from ending the paragraph with the words 'pieces of brain and cheddar cheese'. In any case, when I devised the descriptions, I picked foodstuff that I thought would mix comically, rather than repellently. You guys went overboard, especially meph, with his description of explosive diarrhea! :D

btw, I'm considering naming the paragraph...

P.S. Now that I've read Crunchy's entry below this post, all I have to say is: Save us sinners, Lord! ;)

[Crunchyfrog]

It lurks. You know how it is. You can't see it, but it's always there, bubbling under the surface. The pressure mounts. Then you notice it. A sharp pain on a touch. A minor annoyance. You search for evidence of it's existance, but no matter what, you can't find it. Yet it's there, yelling at you every time you turn over in your bed, every time you pull on a tight pair of pants.

Then finally it raises it's ugly head. A large, red, shiny dome on your butt. It's hot. It radiates heat. You yearn to relieve the tension, but there is no outlet! Frustrated you leave it as much as you can.

The days pass. It gets bigger, wider and taller. It gets hotter, enough to heat a small room! And finally, just as you wonder if it is going to consume you completely, it stops growing. A tiny white pustule appears. Oh the joy! The time has come! But you know you have to wait. It's not ready yet.

The days pass, the frustration mounts. The tension is unbearable. Finally, it ripens. That wonderful yellowy green peak atop a red volcanic cone.

You get ready. You take position. Countdown begins. The expectation mounts. Two sharp objects attack on either side in a pincer movement, resulting in excruciating pain. It's telling you it's not ready and you're about to retreat when...

SPLAT!!

The relief! The exhilaration! The anticlimax as you realise it'll take half a bottle of Windolene to get that lot off your mirror...

[Chinaren]

Okay, on that rather... :-o note, I declare the entry part of this comp closed!

The poll is now up. I will leave it a week or so.

Detonate the TNT of voting.

[Chinaren]

Whilst I don't wish to want to try and influence people or disqualify entries, please remember what this competition is about, as described at the top of the thread:

Quote: The competition is to see who can come up with the most descriptive, vivid description!

One word may be apt, but is it really the most vivid and descriptive?

- Old Sourpuss dept.

[Mephistopheles]

Hey, how long we got to vote on this China? Just really curious ya know? anyways, this was great fun! you really need to do this more often!

[LordoftheNight]

Actually China, I thought a simple pop sums up an explosion better than any amount of words.

Should have had a picture too.

[D-Lotus]

lordofthenight wrote: Should have had a picture too.

Are you being sarcastic? :confused:

[LordoftheNight]

I might be. But only a little bit.

A picture is worth a thousand words afterall, so it'd fill it up a bit.

[CurlyBear]

Yay! I swayed the vote.

[Chinaren]

Very well! I now declare the first QuEasy comp closed!

Rai takes the prize, which is a huge 333Fables straight from the treasury, just as soon as we can fight our way past Lordy.

She also gets a QuEasy trophy, which will go on display in Chinaren Hall.

Well done Rai! :clap: A deserved win there I feel.

Watch our for another QuEasy coming soon!


This has been a Chinaren Competition. All rights reserved. All works belong to their respective authors. Accept no substitutes! Do not leave in direct sunlight etc.

[Mephistopheles]

Congratulations Rai! Well done. Can't wait for another one of these those. this was great fun china!

[D-Lotus]

Yes! I tied for second! :D

[Kalanna Rai]

*bows* Thanks all, especially D because were it not for him I'd never have entered.

[Bookwizard]

good job rai :D :clap: :clap: :D , it was a great idea, you most certainly deserve the prise :tu2:

[Bookwizard]

sorry for doubal posting, but, i cant belive this is still being voted apon

[Chinaren]

I'm fairly sure I closed the poll Wiz.