City of IF

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA

Thunder-B, your poetry scares me. :D

Thunderbird · Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 6:48 am Post subject:

:lol: I think I'll take that as a compliment from you D!

BTW - very nice to see you back on IF... I was just wondering about you the other day, how you were, where you were.

Cyberworm · Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 10:49 am Post subject:

That is some nice poetry, Thundie, I'm not ashamed to lose this round. ;)

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA

Thunderbird wrote: :lol: I think I'll take that as a compliment from you D!

BTW - very nice to see you back on IF... I was just wondering about you the other day, how you were, where you were.

Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts, Thunder-B. I'm afraid I had forgotten about IF for a while, maybe a particular scent, taste, or mood brought me back, who knows.

And yes, it's a mixed compliment, because it evoked an emotion (fright) from me, which not every poem can do. On the one hand, your poem was vivid and full of action, and on the other hand, it was so violent! I get the feeling that at the same time all of this violence is going on, they might be making love (the whole dynamic of he/she). So that is what scares me. But I know you meant well, and that it isn't indicative of anything you would do personally. ;)

Thunderbird · Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 6:56 am Post subject:

The violence was allegorical entirely. Certainly not to be taken so literally. It is a good thing, though, that it came across so powerful as you say. For it was meant to convey a point in its comparison between passion and violence. Both being the most absorbing feelings one might experience. I was hoping that by the end, it becomes clear that the poem was not at all about a 'battle' except to say that love is one... of a sort.

PopeAlessandrosXVIII · Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:15 am Post subject: Poll

3 days left of polling, and only 3 days left! Any more votes?

PopeAlessandrosXVIII · Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 6:13 am Post subject: Winner!

And pulling in for his 3rd win is Thunderbird!!!! Way to go! *Claps* I'll be posting the new subject now, good luck all!

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA

Make it something abstract rather than concrete. As in, Visions, rather than Cars. Gives the contestants more liberty.

PopeAlessandrosXVIII · Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:28 am Post subject: Next

I gave War.....What's wrong with that? Everyone has thoughts on War.

crazybookgal · Joined: 08 Oct 2010 Posts: 196

Besides, it's more of a challenge when something is concrete :D need to get idea juices flowing...

crazybookgal · Joined: 08 Oct 2010 Posts: 196

:D My muse is on today it would seem (if i do say so myself)

Inner Warfare
Wars are waged
With artillery and guns
But there are sharper swords
That slaughter our sons

We all have the personal
Demons we fight
The decisions we make
About wrong and right

Pressure is evident
As you climb to the peaks
If we do not give in
We are classified as freaks

Everything seems fine
But it’s all a disguise
You can see the truth
If only you look into her eyes

Ends come over the counter
These days
There are so many chances
Let me be strong, he prays

Desperate to be a victor
Farther into the war a person delves
But how can we win
If we are battling ourselves?

The exterior does not
Always reveal what is within
So suddenly it seems
It is the end-Fin

Some of the worst wars
Are the ones that we hide
The battles we fight
On the inside

HalfEmptyHero · Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 4:29 am Post subject:

The Hell Where Youth and Laughter Go

All shall see them, and some may know,
But few will notice, where they go.
Their soulless faces, and forgotten eyes,
Forever stand, in one final guise.

And what have you, to say of this,
You who lie, and live in bliss?
Do you, with laughter, earn your wage,
Are you an actor, upon a stage.

I knew one once, both shy and bright,
Who had never even, been in a fight.
He wanted no more, than for you to see,
Why he fights, and why they flee.

But now he's gone, away to die,
To foreign lands, and a foreign sky.
Ever hungry, and full of dread,
Soon your hero, will be dead.

So as his brothers pass by, in sullen gloom,
Marching onward, to imminent doom,
And while you laugh, and sing, and play,
Remember this boy, remember this day.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA

*claps* Bravo!

Guest · Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 4:35 am Post subject:

Sanctum (Sank him)

Gone bad,
gone mad

The phone rings... "bring...bring"
Answering while crying.

Scream into the night,
into the abyss of madness... throat tight,
he fell off these planet's walls,
into the war calls.

Walk, run, jog from the barracks,
the people always throwing a ruckas,
with the guns poised for the army camen,
at the gates of the beaten.

Bated breath at the gate,
Breath in the air...stand close to your mate.

The force storms through the climatic ruin
into the dark abyss of death and brooding,
worrying about the last of the friends they'd see,
Please stand by me.

Throat tight,
Ended up beside right,
He fell onto the floor,
burried into the core...

Thunderbird · Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 9:04 am Post subject:

Wow... tough crowd throwing in their bids this time around. BBS, nicely done! But yeah, some seriously good stuff all around.

But I'll throw one in anyhow... might help me to loosen up for a chapter writing :P

The Face of Modern War

Profit margins crank the gears of war,
People suffer and die, but what for?
Blood and oil on a foreign shore,
Feeding a society hungry for more.

Consume and pillage and rape and take,
Addict us all to the things we make,
Suck dry the wells and drain the lake,
And leave nothing untapped in our ravenous wake.

Feed the rich and make them strong,
Because might makes right and the rest of us wrong,
We've lost our voice now it won't be long,
Before the lords we approved of silence our song.

The war's on them you see,
They assaulted the land of the free,
They've attacked our dignity,
And we fall victim to the lies we weave.

So with thunderous applause and adoration,
We send our children to die in abandon,
And mothers cry when they hear of the wanton
Destruction we've brought to entire nations.

But we can't give up the fight,
We can't let terrorists rule the night,
They sneak around beneath our sight,
So our freedoms we abandon to the nation's might.

This won't end in victory, I'm afraid,
All we'll gain is another police raid,
Where the slightest of laws have been disobeyed,
A horrific future we have made.

So now we spiral to the end,
A brave new world for us both my friend,
Where nobody's voice is heard on the wind,
And we dream of what we can never have again.

But support your troops and back our cause,
While bailouts won't avoid homes lost,
So many out of work because
We need more troops to fuel our cars.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA

Social critique enmeshed with poetry. Interesting. You should be a rapper, TB.

PopeAlessandrosXVIII · Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 11:15 pm Post subject: Well now...

Hmmm....I feel an overwhelming sense of depression over the fact that none of these poems.....Well, I'll throw in my own example to explain. (This one is not for the competition)

Patriot

Suit up, ready for the fight
my love behind me
my goal before me
I go forward towards the enemy
my weapon in hand
my heart set firm
I will defend the ones I love
my only home
my love of freedom
With gun, or sword, or explosive fire
my faith wil be strong
my hand will remain firm
Family calls, tellng me they belive in me
my place in this war
my resolve to do right
I fight this war, so you don't have to
my head held high
my feet stand firm
You spit on me, although I'd give
my life for you
my joy for you
I am a soldier, scared by horrors so you may be innocent
my soul torn and broken
my tears dried up from over use
On my honor, and my life, I will go on
my love left alone
my family left crying
Can you ever understand why I do what I do
my loyalty to you
my love for our freedoms
Or will you always shun me, and leave me alone
my gun my salvation
my comrades my home
Will you ever understand how I hate this war, but know it's right
my gift to you
my burden to bare
Will you ever understand, that I am a Patriot

+++++

I don't know. I know very few share my oppinions on the matter, but I wish people would at least show the soldiers a little faith in that, they're doing, what they believe is right, and should not be hated for this.*Bows*

Guest · Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 12:01 am Post subject:

If you look in my old poem thread, I have said they do right, "Remember the war is our sin and crossing..." its called the Maypoles... or March...
In my poem I didn't say army men were bad! I wrote a poem starting with someone choking, or atleast feeling worse, the memories of the war that is to come, and so the death has befallen the one...

HalfEmptyHero · Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 2:16 am Post subject: Re: Well now...

PopeAlessandrosXVIII wrote: I don't know. I know very few share my oppinions on the matter, but I wish people would at least show the soldiers a little faith in that, they're doing, what they believe is right, and should not be hated for this.*Bows*

You must have misunderstood my poem then. And just so you know, I am in the Marine Corps, although I don't do too much fighting in my job.

PopeAlessandrosXVIII · Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 2:51 am Post subject: Ummm.....

I wasn't trying to say that no one shared my view, but all in all, all the poems seem more depressing than insperational, which is what I see in mine. *Grin* It's just a reoccuring theme that I see all to often. Gets me a little catty. *Bows* Sorry if I offended. They all just seem so against war, when I see it as a unfortunate necessity. Which doesn't mean it needs to focus on all the horrible and sad parts of being a soldier. Y'know?

Thunderbird · Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 6:54 am Post subject:

Not offended. But I'd like to point out that I don't attack the soldier in my poem, just the policies behind the wars we wage. I felt quite patriotic before I became a soldier myself. There, I learned to much to remain patriotic. I once felt we were a 'good' nation. Now I know better.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA

What truly saddens me is when poetry is injected with ideology and is used to justify political aims. :( It ceases to be as brilliant and universal as it should be.

crazybookgal · Joined: 08 Oct 2010 Posts: 196

well mine isn't really about soldiers at all. It's more like metaphorical. *shrugs* there's jiust those battles we think about cuz they're not reported on the news most times.

Thunderbird · Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 9:05 pm Post subject:

D-Lotus wrote: What truly saddens me is when poetry is injected with ideology and is used to justify political aims. :( It ceases to be as brilliant and universal as it should be.
Ah... well... for that I apologize. But then, writing poetry is about writing what is in the heart, no? Unfortunately, when considering 'war', what is in my heart is quite bitter... and rather political.

But I see your point.

Guest · Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 11:50 am Post subject:

No comment...

Poetry is from the heart, but this one I just made up... so don't feel sad about it. Plus if you feel so strongly about what my poem is all about, then I might as well write only on paper and leave it in my room. Plus if someone feel strong about poetry. I guess I can learn to be more than depressing....

:x

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA

Barking_Basenji_Splitpin wrote: No comment...

Poetry is from the heart, but this one I just made up... so don't feel sad about it. Plus if you feel so strongly about what my poem is all about, then I might as well write only on paper and leave it in my room. Plus if someone feel strong about poetry. I guess I can learn to be more than depressing....

:x

Yup. Look for gold in coal. :)

PopeAlessandrosXVIII · Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 2:02 am Post subject: Polling

Oki, the subject War is now polling! Good luck all!

Thunderbird · Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 7:32 am Post subject:

Um... just me but well... you put in a bid yourself and I see no reason for your poem not to be on the poll...

Guest · Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 7:38 am Post subject:

I chose Thunder's poem because Police did attack people.... Pure and simpel, they can still do that.

Thunderbird · Posted: Wed May 11, 2011 8:39 pm Post subject:

op... we have a tie...

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA

I thought BBS's poem was most intriguing. There's more than meets the eye. o-)

Thunderbird · Posted: Thu May 12, 2011 7:25 pm Post subject:

I felt all the entries were fantastic this time and it was a very hard choice between quite a few of them. I agree... BBS's was superb. But HEH got my vote - just impacted me a bit more than the rest was all.

PopeAlessandrosXVIII · Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 3:06 am Post subject: Polling

Oki, 2 days of polling left, any more poetic eyes here to voice their oppinions?

Thunderbird · Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 7:03 pm Post subject:

last day to vote I think?

PopeAlessandrosXVIII · Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 10:29 am Post subject: Winner!

Winner winner winner! Lets all give a hand to HalfEmptyHero for winning round 6 - War! *Claps Loudly* I will have the next subject up in a moment, good luck!

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA

Congrats HEH!

Now... "Light". Must think about that one.

misterbiz · Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 2:03 am Post subject:

Biz Bit: This was a wee bit tricky for me. Until I got the idea that you can't have the light without the dark. And the Dark is my specialty. Enjoy!

Your Light
You and I coexist as well,
As a twisted yin and yang.
I reside in the dark because
It's a safer place to stay.
Yet you try to bring in your light,
And shine my safety away.
You come and search all the dark depths
But I hide to your dismay.
You promise that you will save me
Because I refuse to pray.

You bring your light and walk about,
Try to purify my soul.
You try to lure me from my dark
And promise you'll make me whole.
But you won't pull me from the black,
I'll just stay and watch you stroll
As you try to lure me with talks
Of pure happiness and gold.
But with your promise comes a price,
And I will not pay your toll.

You walk straight out of my domain,
Defeated and all alone.
Where you will forever reside
Until you're placed under stone.
You'll stare into my precious dark
As you mumble and you moan.
You say that you really don't care,
I know that you envy my throne,
Because you know that my darkness
Came from the first light you shone

PopeAlessandrosXVIII · Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 10:41 am Post subject: I Think......

A fine addition indeed. Good job on twisting the subject to fit your own writing style! I like it!

Thunderbird · Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 7:37 pm Post subject:

Yep, classic Bizzy at his best! Loved it!

hmm... Light... should be an inspiring subject for me. I'll have to ponder it for a bit before just posting whatever drivel comes to mind first.

D-Lotus · Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA

Lean verses

Light are the scrolls
Of ancient wisdom;
Lithe the emotion
Surged from a caress;
Limber the sunrise
That dilutes the darkness.

Weightless is the motion
Of memories caught adrift,
Frothing in the twilight
Like foam upon a sea.

Slender are the stems
Of fluorescent ideation;
Sprightly the shadow
Of an unspoken dream;
Slight the white sinew
Which rolls clouds to meet.

Life at its finest
Is captured only
In lean verses.