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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:12 am Post subject: Narg the Nasty. **Now available for purchase!** |
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Buy Narg now!
'Narg the Nasty and the Necromancer's Tower' has now been tidied up and slightly re-written, and is available for purchase at a very reasonable price at:
(Click on the pic)
Thanks!
Narg the Nasty. Chapter 1.
Warning! Contains stuff.
Narg awoke with a hand over his eyes. He pushed it out of the way and groaned as sunlight replaced it. Pushing the still slumbering bodies of the three young girls he had manfully abused the previous night out of the way, he staggered to the water bowl and tipped it over his head.
Thus refreshed he proceeded to use the same bowl as a receptacle for his overstretched bladder. The night before, he reflected groggily, had indeed been a worthy celebration for such a hero as he. Vast quantities of ale had been quaffed, wenches had been shown a good time, and his fame had generally been enhanced with various tales of heroism by the resident bard, assisted by copious amounts of alcohol.
Kicking the still recumbent naked bodies out of the way, he stumbled over to retrieve his clothing and equipment. Though his head still felt as if a medium sized orc was beating on it with a large two handed hammer, he inspected his gear carefully. His life depended upon it, and when it came to his life, Narg was anything but careless. Satisfied the armor was still in good condition he pulled it on. Next his large magical blade, generally known as Bloodletter in the tales. Narg called it a Pain in the Ass most of the time. Being a magical blade it was instilled with a life and personality of it's own, and it wasn't above preaching. Narg also suspected it was cleverer than he was. On a whim he pulled it half way out of the scabbard.
"Well, look what stirs," Bloodletter said, in a high pitched
voice calculated, no doubt, to effect maximum nausea in the hungover Narg. "If it isn't the famed drunkard Narb, slayer of a
thousand innocent women and small furry animals.
"That's Narg you overblown piece of scrap metal" Narg snarled back, "and you know perfectly well that one incident was an accident. She shouldn't have got in the way of that Dark Elf.
And who was the sword that cut her in half anyway? Eh?"
"Bah, I am only the tool..." The sword was cut-off as Narg slammed it back into the scabbard. Once sheathed the sword's powers were generally nullified.
Feeling slightly happier at putting one over on the blade, Narg finished dressing and then stood back to admire himself in the room's one decent mirror. He was, as befitted his profession and status, an imposing figure. A long dark tunic covered his mithril chain mail, hard won from a Wizards tower (the wizard in question had been away at the time, but Narg still had to defeat several guardian beasts). His leather boots of quiet striding helped him maintain a stealthy reputation and, more importantly, dispatch people/creatures with minimum fuss and effort when the opportunity arose. With the magical blade slung over his back, and his dagger and pouch of gigantic-holding filled with useful items at his waist, he was ready for the world.
It was just as well he decided this, because the door chose that very moment to be hammered upon in thunderous fashion.
"We're looking for a Narg" came a rough voice from the other side, showing no concern for Narg's headache.
"Arg, stop that hammering you imbecile!" Narg shouted back,
causing his head to throb more violently. He moved towards the door just as it was flung open to let in several large figures clad in the traditional black and red of the local militia. Unfortunately the first one ran straight onto Bloodletter, which promptly lived up to it's name. Narg had instinctively drawn the weapon as the hammering had continued.
He stepped back and pulled the sword out as several more guardsmen entered, though rather more cautiously than their unfortunate colleague.
The skewered guardsman slumped to the floor to reveal a much smaller figure, dressed in robes.
"You morons!" the smaller figure shouted. "I told you
to knock gently! You can't just barge into a hero's room
like that! Now look what you have done! Do you know how many forms I have to fill in if one you gets killed?" He pushed his way past the other guards, stepped over the dying form and approached Narg who lowered his sword, slightly, as he approached.
Whomever the figure was, he was no coward. He walked right up to Narg, ignoring the dripping sword as if it was no more threatening than a bunch of flowers.
"Lord Narg" He performed a slight bow. "I apologize
for the interruption to your er, rest." He glanced at the naked
flesh still lying asleep on the mat. "I am the Wizard Candelion
representing the town council. We heard you were in town and, having heard of your formidable reputation, wondered if you would like to take an urgent assignment from us."
Narg lowered the sword completely, though kept it at hand in case one of the guardsmen decided to get frisky. He looked over the Wizard carefully. Whilst he had battled several magic casters and lived to tell the tale, one couldn't be too careful. The more powerful
ones were formidable opponents, and fighters who went up against a prepared Wizard generally came in second. This one was dressed in a red robe, with a simple belt around the middle from which several pouches hung. He didn't have a staff, that Narg could see anyway, but that didn't mean he was defenseless.
"Go on then, I am listening," he said.
"Well, I will not go into detail here, but essentially the town is
currently facing a serious threat from a dark force that has recently
settled in the mountains to the north. We are urgently looking for a
small band of heroes to counter the threat. You fall into that
category."
"A group eh?" Narg scratched at the stubble on his chin.
"I usually work alone. Still.."
"I assure you, the town would be sufficiently grateful for a
successful campaign. We are not a poor community, and we have many other assets," the Wizard waved his hand towards the last
night's entertainment," as you have already discovered."
"I don't know, it's too early." Narg replied clutching at his head with his free hand. "Let me think on it. I will give you an answer by the end of the day."
"Fair enough," replied Candelion. "Please visit the town hall, we will be expecting you." So saying he gave another very small bow and backed away several paces, more through prudence than
manners, before turning and leaving the room. The guards followed him, two of them dragging their unfortunate companion behind them, which left a nasty mess on the floor.
"Aren't you going to clean me?" Bloodletter asked, speaking for the first time since the encounter. It had been strangely quiet during the exchange, which had escaped Narg's notice. He grunted and wiped the blade on the sleeping mat before sheathing it and going down for breakfast.
The dining area was fairly quiet when he arrived. The fat bartender was busy smearing the grime to a more even level on the bar. A low fire in the large fireplace kept out the autumn chill, and a dull light filtered through the thick glass windows. Only one other thin patron sat with their back to Narg as he entered.
"Sir Narg!" exclaimed the bartend, throwing the cloth over
his shoulder. "How can I be of service this fine day?"
Narg sat down at a table with his back to the wall. "Mug of
Morning Ale, something to eat." He growled.
"At once sir!" beamed the barkeep with a sycophantic smile,
and he scurried to pull some beer whilst simultaneously yelling back
into the kitchen for a platter of food.
Narg took a deep draft of the ale as soon as it was set in front of him.
Belching enormously he slammed it down empty. "Another" he
ordered sending the fat man bustling away again.
As he did he glanced something out of the corner of his eye. With
reflexes honed through long practice in many a hostile environment he pushed himself to one side and flung his hand out to knock aside the descending dagger. The slim figure that had been sitting in the room when he arrived was flung to the floor. The dagger went flying and landed with a dull thud blade first in one of the tables.
Narg's own long dagger was out and at the throat of the would be
assassin before he even took in the figure. It was a maiden. A fair
maiden. Actually, as he took a second look as she lay shivering on the floor, a very fair maiden.
"Now I would have usually killed you by now" he growled,
"but it is early in the morning and I haven't had my breakfast yet. On top of that, you are rather too an attractive figure to needlessly waste, not that I wouldn't dispatch you and then take you anyway, but it's not as much fun when they don't struggle." The girl looked like she was going to pass out, so Narg eased up a little. "Now, my young would-be assassin, what makes you want to die this fine morning?"
"P-p-p-please find sir," the girl stammered," I just wanted to hire you."
"Normally people who want to do that politely ask if they can
'have a quick word' rather than try sticking a sharp piece
of metal in me." He decided the girl was no threat, sheathed his
dagger carefully, and slowly returned to his seat, keeping his eyes on her as he did so.
The girl felt at her throat, then slowly stood as well, she looked at
Narg as if making a decision. After a few moments she approached him and asked:
"May I have a word Sir Hero?" she asked.
Narg gestured at the seat opposite. As she sat down the fat barkeep toddled over, a large tray in one hand. "Is this wench bothering you Sir Narg? I can take care of her if you would like." He
leered at the girl, drool dribbling down his greasy chin.
"I will take care of her, never you mind." Answered Narg. "Is that my breakfast?"
The barkeep nodded, hastily deposited the tray on the table, and beat a hasty retreat. Narg looked at the food, picked up what looked like a marinated dog leg and took a large bite. "Now then," he spoke through a mouthful of meat, "care to explain yourself little
lady?"
"I apologize for my actions before kind sir. I was just testing
you, to see if you were really the hero that you are said to be. I am
in need of your services you see." She cast her eyes down.
"My family has been abducted by a vile creature and held in
thrall, and I need someone to rescue them."
"Mmm, mm." Nodded Narg. "Pay?"
The girl stammered nervously. "I - I don't" have any money sir, we are not rich. I can, though..."she paused, then continued more quietly, "offer myself as payment." She blushed bright red and stared at the floor.
Narg stopped eating and once more checked the girl out. This time
noting the pertness of her breasts, the slim waist and the slender hips.
Her features were most comely, it had to be said.
He had only just arrived in town the previous night, and if he already had attracted the town council, as well as this wench, there would surely be other offers about."
He took another bite of his dog, and another draught of ale and thought about it."
---------------------------------->
Well? Should Narg take up the town council or the offer of the girl?
Perhaps he should await further opportunities?
This is my first bash at this story gaming malarkey, so it's anybodies guess what will happen...
Suggestions and comments welcome! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Last edited by Chinaren on Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:53 pm; edited 69 times in total
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:44 am Post subject: Formatting |
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Sorry for the formatting all, I wrote this in Word (at work) then saved it in an e-mail then transfered it to here, so it had been through the wringer a bit.
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 10:48 am Post subject: |
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uh, kinda disturbed me, but funny.....
I always rite evil stories like the uruk-hai and such, but i never put in things that um......describe how evil, disgusting and depraved they are.,...
But still, it was a good story, though it nmight be for mature readers along the way. Look forward to reading more. _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 10:49 am Post subject: |
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I think he should go to the council. _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 4:34 pm Post subject: It's only just begun... |
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Thanks Shoggy. If you think it's bad now just wait, I'm only just getting warmed up! Mwahahaha
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Kendog420 Guest
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Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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It was good and i cant wait till it gets more sadistic and vile and danmn if this is your first try than its very good considering that
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Kendog420 Guest
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Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 7:55 pm Post subject: |
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I think u should go with the council
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 4:49 am Post subject: Council. |
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It seems the council option is the way to go, so I have started work on the next chapter. Bit busier now, so may not be ready until next Monday.
Any ideas on the threat facing the town? (Actually I have an idea, but I am open to suggestions!)
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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Narg the Nasty. Chapter two.
…or how I beat a dwarf to death with his own severed arm.
Cautionary notes:
Probably not suitable for minors (or most others for that matter).
Contains often needless violence, occasional perversion, discrimination and anything else I can think of.
Induce vomiting if taken internally.
--->
Narg waited until he swallowed his mouthful of breakfast and sighed. The girl looked on expectantly.
“Well, my dear, delectable as you are I have bigger gnomes to fry just now. However,” he went on quickly as the girl was obviously going to burst into tears, and Narg couldn’t stand wailing before he had digested breakfast. “Tell me who took your family and where you think they are and if I have time I will look into it.” The girl immediately looked more hopeful.
“…and believe me young thing,” Narg carried on, in a definitely different tone of voice, “should I rescue your folks, I will be back for payment.”
The girl gulped audibly. “I think they have been taken to Gloomywood to be servants for the bandits that live there. It’s a way to the Northwest is all I know good Sir Narg.”
“Fine, I may be going near there anyway.” Narg smiled. “What is your name my dear?”
“Precious” she managed to choke out.
“Ahhh, what a delightfully apt name. Well, Precious, where can I find you should I want you, one way or the other?”
Precious gave directions to her hovel to Narg’s satisfaction and left quickly. Though not before Narg had summoned the barkeep and made certain that the girl was not to be molested in his absence, (at least until he had finished with her.) So saying he belched loudly, as good manners dictated, and stood up to leave.
He strode out of the Inn, booting a dwarf who was sleeping in the hallway out of the way as he did so. “Get out of the way you short-a__e*” he shouted at the thing, people are trying to walk here!”
“So.. sorry sir” muttered the dwarf, and dragged himself to a small cubby hole nearby.
“Bloody Dwarves,” he mumbled under his breath, “what next? Paladins?” He spat on the floor and left the building.
The ‘Bloodied Virgin Inn’ was in a respectable area of town, and the roads reflected this, the area sporting a cobbled street and lighting for the darker hours, as well as patrols by the local militia.
Even though Narg was new to the place, he remembered passing the Town Hall the day before, and headed off in that direction.
The town was, as the wizard had said, a fairly prosperous place. It was placed on a trade route between two other large and busy cities, and had enough coin to protect itself from the general banditry around. Besides, even bandits need somewhere to buy provisions. As a result Narg saw a variety of races going about their business, from hulking trolls to tiny imps.
He had an uneventful journey to the town hall, which was a large squat building, built for defense out of large stone blocks. He strode up to the two guards at the large entrance.
“Name’s Narg. Here to see some wizard, Dandylion or some-such.”
“Moment” one of the guards grunted, his voice echoing from within his helmet. He tromped away to speak to someone inside the doorway, returning with a plainly dressed clerk in tow.
“This way please Sir Narg” the clerk said, and set off. Narg followed.
A short trip later Narg was standing in-front of the council. Three members looked down upon him from their dias. One Narg recognized as Candelion the wizard, beside him was a large man with an enormous black beard, a huge hammer resting beside him. No doubt some sort of Cleric. The other was a thin but tall Elf, dressing in flowing white robes. He looked at Narg and wrinkled his nose, but otherwise said nothing.
Candelion rose to his feet as Narg entered. “Good hero, welcome, welcome! I am glad you could heed our call for champions.”
“Cut the crap” answered Narg. “What’s the deal?”
“Straight down to business, excellent. Well, our town is fairly well defended, and our main highways are patrolled, but of late a new threat has arisen, for which we have decided to enlist outside help to deal with.”
He paused and looked at the elf. “Perhaps our esteemed Spiderswill Dwarfeater could fill in the details…?”
The Elf sighed and looked at Narg. “Apparently some kind of Necromancer has said up shop in an old tower in the mountains. He has some sort of undead army gathering and we would like him stopped before it grows too large and becomes a major threat.”
“Hmmm” said Narg, picking his nose. “Pay?”
“2000 gold sovereigns, plus three of our finest wenches, or bucks should you taste run that way, for two days. However, we have deemed it a task that should be undertaken not by one, but three or maybe four heroes. You, as the famed Narg, shall be the leader. We have taken the liberty of assembling some potential candidates for your team.” He waved his fingers at the clerk who was standing by another door.
The clerk opened it and in strode a heavily armored human. He wore bright mail and had a huge two handed sword strapped to his back. Long golden hair flowed down his back and he strode with the knowledge that righteousness was with him. He stopped and bowed in front of Narg, who was stood with jaw agape.
“Theororus the White at your service, in the name of my Lord Grom.”
Narg turned to the council. “A bloody Paladin?” he screamed. “What makes you think I want one of these do-gooders nagging me about morality as I hack the undead apart? Do you know what a pain in the ass these people are?”
“Good Sir Narg…” the Paladin began, but Narg cut him short.
“You! Shut it!” He stalked closer. “You have any coin upon you?”
“I do not debase myself by concerning myself with material things” the Paladin replied drawing himself up in righteousness.
“Thought not. You really can’t do anything with your kind you know.” Narg half turned away, then paused. “Well maybe there is one thing…”
“What’s that?” replied the knight.
There was a blur as Narg turned back, a high pitched shout suddenly cut short, followed by the sound of two items, one small, one large, hitting the floor.
“Can’t stand Paladins” said Narg conversationally, wiping Bloodletter on the body before sheathing it. “Them and dwarves just get my back up they do.” He performed a perfunctory search of the body, found nothing and stood up with a sneer. “Never any treasure on these guys. Still, the armor may be worth a few coins if I can find someone to buy it.” He turned back to the council who were looking on in shocked silence. “It’s usually blessed stuff you know, strictly Paladins only. Mind you, I think I know a Dark Wizard down Skullkeep way that may want it. Does some sort of corruption magic with the stuff.”
He shrugged. “Right then, who’s next?”
The clerk, who looked a little pale for some reason, gestured at the doorway, and a lithe figure dressed in light leather armor strode in.
“Now, this is more like it!” said Narg.
“Lord Narg” said the woman bowing, “I am Katrina, and my skills, amongst other things” (she gave him a long slow wink)” include the bow and the art of ‘opening’ doors.”
“Excellent!” beamed Narg. A lady after my own heart!
The next candidate was a short fat man dressed in amour and sporting a staff. “Gorgus Headbasher at your service. Cleric.” he puffed. “Adept in the turning of all manner of night creatures.”
“Mmm, could be useful” muttered Narg. “Who else?”
Next came a small figure carrying a staff twice his height.
“Ho short stuff” said Narg. “What are you eh?”
“I,” replied the Halfling drawing himself up to his full height (which wasn’t much), “am Biggar Longstrider. Wizard, 4th degree 3rd Element.”
“So say ye,” said Narg, but in a quieter tone.
After the Halfling came a huge figure. Green skin and the smell of rotten meat accompanied the Orc.
“Me Nog. Me bash good.” He said waving around an enormous club, studded with rusty nails.
The last candidate was suddenly there, appearing from nowhere it seemed. He stood in a simple gray robe tied at the waist with a black cord. His head had been shaved bald and he seemed to carry no weapons. The monk clasped his hands together and introduced himself quietly. “My name is irrelevant, being just a humble servant, but I have been sent from my order to help with this fight.” He put his arms across his chest, hands hidden within the robes’ folds.
“Well Irrelevant, good bit of sneaking there.” Replied Narg. “I’m partial to a bit of quiet movement myself.” He turned back to the council. “So I have to choose two of these to come along right?”
“That is correct said Candelion. “A Pal.. er… A rouge, a cleric, a wizard, a fighter and a monk. All adept in their fields. Who shall it be?”
A good question. He scratched his chin and turned and faced the candidates.
The severed Paladin’s head looked on with a shocked expression from where it lay on the floor.
Okay folks, a nice and soothing chapter this time, but another choice. Who shall go with Narg on his quest to fight the (presumably) evil Necromancer and his Army of the dead? Only two venture forth with our hero, so you can vote or make suggestions!
Any comments welcome of course.
* Censored for the more delicate readers.
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 6:13 pm Post subject: |
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i picked the monk and cleric, u need the holy to kill the unholy, also the bashing is already covered by Narg
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 5:41 pm Post subject: Votes! Need votes! |
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Come on people! Give us some votes!
UPDATED:
I have just seen that the poll has the same option for 1 and 2! Don't know how that happened!
Anyhow, number one should read:
Rouge and Wizard.
Sorry about that! Moderator, could you help? I can't change it now.
Thanks Shogun.
Last edited by Chinaren on Thu Sep 08, 2005 9:21 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 6:34 pm Post subject: |
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voted _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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evilhomer28 Guest
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Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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i suggest that he has a cleric and a wizard
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Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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ummmmmmmmm, why did you thank me, any ways another good edition to this story. Also i pmed smee to change your poll to rouge and wizard. Ga' day _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 3:49 pm Post subject: Chpt3 trailers... |
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All, whilst the poll is still open (Votes and sugessions please!!!) and I haven't finished the next chapter, I have decided, in the fashion of Hollywood, to release some short 'teasers'...
Coming soon in Episode 3 of NtN...
...Her breasts heaved in the moonlight…
…Shogun knew his way…
…the goblin bit down snarling…
…daughter is missing…
… large bastard sword with a wicked looking serrated edge…
Thanks for your PM Shogun, guess I should have thought of that!
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Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 5:09 pm Post subject: Re: Votes! Need votes! |
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chinaren wrote: | Come on people! Give us some votes!
UPDATED:
I have just seen that the poll has the same option for 1 and 2! Don't know how that happened!
Anyhow, number one should read:
Rouge and Wizard.
Sorry about that! Moderator, could you help? I can't change it now.
Thanks Shogun. |
Again, why thanks Shogun? I have done nonething except pm smee, and this post was before that....unless you can see the future....FREAK!!! _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 5:11 pm Post subject: Re: Chpt3 trailers... |
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chinaren wrote: |
Coming soon in Episode 3 of NtN...
...Her breasts heaved in the moonlight…
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I feel a deep stirring below my gut.....j/k! lol _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
Last edited by Shogun on Sat Sep 10, 2005 5:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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I feel kinda bad for the palidin, friend rped as a paladin once, I was forced to slay becuase he kept saying,"Happy bunnys!"
Any ways, the the hot thief...she's mine!
*Narg glres at him again* Would you stop doing that! _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 5:17 pm Post subject: Future |
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Yes, it was a future thanks for PMing Smee. Hey! Just being polite! Even raving lunatics should have manners!
Gay eh? Mmmm, interesting idea, never thought of that...
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non logged in Shogun Guest
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Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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Dont you dare!
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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non logged in Shogun wrote: | Dont you dare! |
or else..... _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 6:37 am Post subject: One more! |
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Anyone want to cast one more vote? I have a three way tie at the moment.
Just been working on Chapter three, (it's d*mn hot ) but I can't finish it until I know how the vote will turn out!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 7:31 pm Post subject: Okay then... |
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Right, I think the poll is about done, so I will finish off the next chapter, probably later today. As it is a three way tie I will mull it over and think about who to add... _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 8:18 pm Post subject: |
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I'm a friggin midget! Oh thats messed up! Well at least I know I can fry Norgs brains out.
A very uh......hot scene in the bar shall I say. _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 7:58 pm Post subject: Chpt4 |
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Hi Smee, did you get my PM for poll deletion?
Shogun, anyone, choice?
I have been busy, so not started the next chapter yet, though I am not sure anyone is interested!
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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I pick 2, and I like your story, it's pretty funny _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 6:18 am Post subject: Chapter 4 teasers! |
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Thanks for your vote Shogun.
I have been working on chapter 4 a bit though I can't finish it until I close the voting of course, so I thought I would post a couple of teasers again, to hopefully stimulate some more votes and catch some attention...
Coming soon in Episode 4 of Narg the Nasty: Things get a little more dangerous...
…with un-natural strength it wielded the sword as if it weighed no more than a maid’s brassier…
…the cold of the grave seeped into his body…
… abusing their wives, sisters and daughters… _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 8:42 pm Post subject: Poll questions. |
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The poll questions are wrong again! Option one should not be the same as option 2! I typed this in right, it just came out wrong. Please see chapter four for the correct options. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 10:41 pm Post subject: Thanks Key but.. |
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You missed option 1!
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Kendog420 Guest
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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Great chapter as usual, I love this story, im definently going to nominate it for storygame of the month for october if i remember that is lol, anyways i think that they should keep going untill they find a better camp.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 7:14 pm Post subject: Allright y then! |
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Thanks KD, much appreciated!
Now I have a vote I will start work on the next chapter.
NtN chapter 5 is in the works! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 6:55 am Post subject: Episodes 1 to 4. The story so far. |
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For those of you who haven't been reading here is a brief overview of the story so far:
Our hero, Narg, wandered into a small town. He was shortly approached by the city council, led by a wizard Candlelion, and accepted a commission to seek out a dread necromancer who had set up shop in an ancient tower to the north.
To assist him in this quest Narg chose a stout Halvling wizard called Shogun, and a solid Cleric named Gorgus.
After a harrowing encounter with a she-devil and accepting a side quest to find the daughter of the local militia chief (who went in search of the necromancer herself with a small group of her own) they set off north.
They have just had a violent encounter with some undead in the woods, which Narg narrowly survived, and the group are now pondering their next move... _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Last edited by Chinaren on Sat Oct 08, 2005 1:39 am; edited 2 times in total
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 4:32 pm Post subject: |
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WOOHOO!!
aNOTHER GREAT chapter chinaren, I have no idea why people ain't voting for you!
I pick two, look for the necromacer, he might have some information, also STOP INSULTING MY SIZE!!
*ahem* yes, well now that I got that across.....okay maybe I didn't....anyways, no.2! _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 7:03 pm Post subject: Shorty |
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Thanks for the vote Shogs. I have added a poll and put your vote in it already.
As for the size thing, well that's Narg not me! I can't stop him, he's much bigger than me. Anyway, Shogun seems to hold his own well enough!
_________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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*grin* _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2005 1:48 am Post subject: The story so far |
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All, I have added a brief synopsis before chapter 5, so you can get up to speed on Narg's adventures without reading all that has gone before.
I would like to get some more votes and close this poll by wednesday so I can write another chapter before I go to Beijing at the end of the week.
Please vote, or at least comment! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Dobs Guest
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2005 2:13 am Post subject: alright! |
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cool story man! I vote to follow the other part.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:39 am Post subject: OKay then, ep6 now in the works. |
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Okay people, I want to do the next chapter before I have to travel, so I will flip a coin and write the next chapter. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:48 pm Post subject: |
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Good story - I always like an unlikeable hero
As for the elf... it depends on how snooty the elves are in this world. Would Narg be likely to... ahem... get his reward for rescuing her? Or is she more likely to look down her perfect elven nose at him?
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Hyperion Guest
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:06 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm... Elven noses...
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 1:50 am Post subject: Elves do it.. |
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Shady Stoat wrote: | As for the elf... it depends on how snooty the elves are in this world. Would Narg be likely to... ahem... get his reward for rescuing her? Or is she more likely to look down her perfect elven nose at him? |
Oh yes, Narg doesn't work for charity! He will be 'suitably' rewarded! hehe.
I have added the poll now Smee has removed the last one. Votes appreciated! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 4:26 pm Post subject: Oh yeah! |
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Its gotta be rescue teh elf man! oh yeh. I like this story.
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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oh yeah! He must be "rewarded"......I hope liddle kids don't read this story...he he he*cough*heh heh heh! _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 10:33 pm Post subject: Keep on voting! |
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I don't know, you lot. Show a bit of leg and you are all chaffing at the bit! Disgusting! Hehe.
Thanks for your votes, and everyone - please keep voting for Narg as Storygame for October!
I am be away on business for a week from tomorrow, but I will try and look in at odd intervals anyway.
Keep good people! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:06 am Post subject: Re: Keep on voting! |
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chinaren wrote: | I don't know, you lot. Show a bit of leg and you are all chaffing at the bit! Disgusting! Hehe.
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Actually, I think you were showing us a bit of shoulder, neck and head, Chinaren! Surely the legs are well sunk by now?
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:15 am Post subject: |
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Hey Chinaren,
I managed to read all but the latest chapter on my lunchbreak today. I'll finish off and join in very soon.
Until then,
Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:08 am Post subject: Welcome! |
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Hi Smee! Hope you enjoy the story. Comments from the mod always welcome! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:50 am Post subject: |
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Hey Chinaren ,
As promised, a comment
Now are you sure you want this...
Only kidding. The story is very good. The hero is fantastic for his honesty, and the storyline is progressing nicely.
Your decision points have been pretty good - the hardest thing to do well - and I made it from the beginning to the end in one go (or would have been if my lunch break was longer) - 13 pages - excellent.
A few typos sprinkled around the chapters, but certainly not a major problem in that amount of writing.
As for what happens next:
It isn't time for finishing the necromancer yet, go save the buxom beauty and rally to fight another day, with maybe a new team, and night buddy. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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DukeReg Citizen
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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 1:09 am Post subject: |
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If he crashes after the necromancer he'll probably get a faceful of nasty magic, and the enemy of his enemy is his friend, so I voted rescue the girl.
Oh and if he's not in a philosophical mood, he should rescue her to get laid. _________________ Duke Reg
Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 7:40 pm Post subject: Phillysofikal |
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I don't think Narg is ever in a philosophical mood! Thanks for the vote Duke.
It looks like option one will be a clear winner, so I think I will start writing the next chapter. I am in Beijing (sat in an internet cafe at the moment, surrounded by people smoking and playing online games, cough) so it will be next week sometime before I can post.
I have had a couple more plot ideas too, so things should be warming up nicely for our hero soon. Watch this space!
In the meantime, comments about the story are always welcome, and don't forget to vote for Narg as SGotM! It is in the lead at the moment, but it isn't over until the fat dwarf is guttted, as the old saying goes. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 10:47 am Post subject: |
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is killing the necromancer and then go have a little necrofilia fun an option?, well if its not then i would say save that god damn elf, she might be useful and if nothing else she probably will be a good lay.
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Not logged on Chinaren Guest
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 1:24 am Post subject: Chapter 7 forthcoming! |
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If you vote for Narg for SGotM then you will get a free cameo appearance in the story!
I have done chapter 7, but I can't transfer it here yet. However, I can reveal a couple of lines as 'teasers'...
...'Gorgus was crouched over the prone body of Shogun'...
...'her hand moved down, undoing fastenings as it went'...
...'the mace hit squarely on the back with a resounding crack'...
Remember! Watch this space for episode 7!!!
..and don't forget to vote for Narg!!
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Phang Elder
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2005 9:20 am Post subject: Re: Chapter 7 forthcoming! |
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Not logged on Chinaren wrote: | If you vote for Narg for SGotM then you will get a free cameo appearance in the story! |
Ok! Though I think I'll leave it a few days in case someone comes up with a better offer.
The teasers sound cool too. Of course, you add the one with the female elf *ahem* showing her appreciation for being rescued (tres cunning, will probably attract some certain people in the hope of something nearing free porn). _________________ Stuff here
Da Huuuuub
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 11:25 pm Post subject: Episode 7 nears... |
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I should be in a position to put up the next chapter later today or tomorrow.
In the meantime, please vote in the poll for SGotM. Narg is not winning, and he is looking very angry! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2005 12:42 pm Post subject: |
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Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice......I suggest you follow the creature, it may be controlled and it might lead you to it's master. _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2005 10:39 pm Post subject: |
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Good chapter again Chinaren
I'd day leave the elf and carry on after the Necromancer.
1) you can't hurt this thing which carried the elf off. You've already proved that.
2) Narg's already had his reward, where's the profit in following? He doesn't seem like the kind to hang onto a lover for more than... say... 24hours
Let's get back to the job we were paid to do
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OldJoe Citizen
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 1:52 am Post subject: Weee |
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well, thats a very good story! took me a longgg time to read it but worth every cent! _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:12 am Post subject: Choices |
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Thanks for the comments all. This is a close one! I must say, for some reason I thought option 2 would be the choice here. Anyway, that is what the votes are for!
Welcome Old Joe, thanks for reading! Now, if you like the story, please help me beat old Stoaty (great guy that he is an all ) and vote for Narg in Story Game of the Month! Follow the link below! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:23 am Post subject: Re: Choices |
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chinaren wrote: |
Welcome Old Joe, thanks for reading! Now, if you like the story, please help me beat old Stoaty (great guy that he is an all ) and vote for Narg in Story Game of the Month! Follow the link below! |
*grins* well, actually old stoaty's a great GAL, and everyone knows you should never mention a woman's age - OLD stoaty indeed, humph!
But good luck in the competition - and watch out for sneaky stoat attacks from the flank
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:43 am Post subject: Ooops |
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Oops, <removes foot from mouth> I am not doing well by you am I Ms.Stoat. First the 'Bob' incident, now the wrong gender debacle.
Really, many apologies!
And of course, good luck to yourself as well. Your stories are really good, I will certainly vote for them when you try again next month.
<returns to dark corner and resumes sticking pins into small doll, now slightly amended in certain key areas> _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 4:04 am Post subject: Re: Ooops |
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chinaren wrote: | Oops, <removes foot from mouth> I am not doing well by you am I Ms.Stoat. First the 'Bob' incident, now the wrong gender debacle.
Really, many apologies!
And of course, good luck to yourself as well. Your stories are really good, I will certainly vote for them when you try again next month.
<returns to dark corner and resumes sticking pins into small doll, now slightly amended in certain key areas> |
ROFL! Ouch! Stop doing that... or at least stick them somewhere interesting if you have to keep doing it ;P
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 4:14 pm Post subject: okay |
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I am in a writing mood just now, an I have had quite a few new ideas for this story, so I will give this a little longer and then start the next chapter. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2005 9:23 am Post subject: |
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This chapter slipped me by, (as have quite a few recently) but I've caught up once again.
Great chapter, fast flowing and entertaining.
One tiny thing that lept out at me whilst reading:
Quote: | “We are after a necromancer…” Started Narg, but was interrupted as Serime pointed at something.
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Shouldn't this be 'the' necromancer. After all Serime has seen, and been defeated by him? But I may be misunderstanding.
As for the young lady herself, Serime seems rather randy for an elf, but still fun to read. :biggrin:
For the chapter:
As Stoat so eloquently put it -
Quote: | Narg's already had his reward, where's the profit in following? |
Stay on misson.
EDIT:
Ooops, looks like I just tied the voting. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2005 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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*laughs* brains of puppy. Yum!
I say head up the staircase. Everybody knows the necromancer is going to be in the highest room, in the tallest tower...
...wait... did I get that bit wrong? Ah well, go for it anyway.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 12:40 am Post subject: Crud |
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Option 4 is missing off the poll. I will PM Smee, in the meantime don't forget option 4...
4. Wait for whatever is coming down the hallway.
(If you vote for this option, say what you would like to see come down the hallway!) _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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CunningFox Citizen
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Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 6:52 pm Post subject: Registered an voted |
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Hey Chinaren, it's me (you know who). Good story. I will check out the other links if my connection doesnt die on me. _________________ Just browsing, thank-you.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 6:56 pm Post subject: |
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Cunning Fox, otherwise known as Shady Stoat...big mystery....but you had me fooled for a seconed(I read lots of mystery books but stink at writing them).
I haven't decided were to go yet though Chinaren..... _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 6:57 pm Post subject: |
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K!I voted to face whatever is coming! _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 7:01 pm Post subject: Hi Shogs |
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You should be studying!
Anyway, CunningFox isn't Shady, but a friend of mine.
Any ideas on creatures to come down the corridor? Suggestions welcome! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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CunningFox Citizen
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Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 7:08 pm Post subject: |
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hey! I am not a Stoat! I am a slinky fox. _________________ Just browsing, thank-you.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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.....oops is all I can say. Sorry "Slinky"! Chinaren, Iv'e always wondered this:
Are you
(a)a boy
(b)a girl
(c)a he/she
(d)an IT....... _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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YES WHAT?HMMMMMM....I'M THINKIN'......HE/SHE? YES...WELL....I DON'T THINK I SHOULD TALK TO YOU ANYMORE...*SLOWLY SKOOTS AWAY* LOL! _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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He he.
I choose option C number 1. 'He'.
Stands in a heroic stance wind blowing his long locks behind him, muscles rippling...
Oh wait, dreaming again. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 12:19 am Post subject: |
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Yet another good chapter
And a welcome to the Slinky Fox - turning into a zoo around here
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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evilhomer28 Guest
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Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:22 am Post subject: |
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rofl, i think shogun was right to back away
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Dobs Guest
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Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 11:48 pm Post subject: |
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Wait and fite!!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 12:17 am Post subject: Mmmm. |
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If whatever comes down the corridor is unfriendly of course!!
Anyone have any ideas, or anything/one you would like to see come down the corridor?
Bear in mind this castle is not the Necromancers' lair, though he was last seen heading in the general direction. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 12:20 am Post subject: Re: Mmmm. |
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chinaren wrote: |
Anyone have any ideas, or anything/one you would like to see come down the corridor?
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A mad old caretaker, complaining about them tramping mud into his castle, and taking offence at the fact you've brought vermin (halflings!) into the place.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 12:24 am Post subject: |
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Now that's a good idea! Mmmm, I may well use something like that.
No one read the above post so if I use it, it will come as a suprise. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 10:36 am Post subject: |
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I've voted for wait and see what appears.
Maybe something a bit more challenging than Bob the Caretaker though. Maybe Bob the ApeDog.
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 5:12 pm Post subject: Time nearly up |
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It has been about 5 days since the last chapter, so I will give this another little while and then start writing the next one. Possibly with 'Bob' in. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah - BOB
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 11:22 pm Post subject: |
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Smee wrote: | Yeah - BOB
Happy Writing. |
I'm beginning to think Smee has a 'Bob' fetish!
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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Nah - Bob is my answer to any question I don't know the answer to.
I tend to shout it at the tele when theres a quiz show on. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:54 am Post subject: |
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*grin*
I hate to break it to you, Chinaren, but you've already written chapter eight once.
This is chapter NINE!!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:57 am Post subject: |
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Bugger! Thanks Shady, will change it at once!
Edit:
Changed! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Last edited by Chinaren on Mon Oct 31, 2005 6:16 am; edited 1 time in total
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 6:03 am Post subject: |
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I'm going for the mad alchemist's lab. What happened to the original aristocratic family that lived here? They were all vivisected and turned into Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob and Bob!
A twisted scheme, if ever I heard one...
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 6:33 am Post subject: |
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Shady Stoat wrote: | I'm going for the mad alchemist's lab. What happened to the original aristocratic family that lived here? They were all vivisected and turned into Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob and Bob!
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Blimey Stoat! Your comment is eerily close to something I had in mind! Woooo! Well, I suppose it is Halloween! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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evilhomer28 Guest
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:26 am Post subject: |
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how about me! because you never got me in this chapter and i want in after paying you[/u]
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:48 am Post subject: |
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Entertaining chapter Chinaren
A quick technicality:
Quote: | They were all were battered | One of them doesn't need to be there.
How about bringing the outside in. The room is filled with snow, a cold wind howls through, and there doesn't appear to be a ceiling, but a dark sky full of clouds. The room boundaries still exist, but it's a large room and at first glace, it could be an entire world through the door.
Perhaps it's the remains of a long forgotten spell gone wrong, or the original families version of keeping the beers cold.
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Hyperion Guest
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 4:22 pm Post subject: |
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I think that Narg needs another lusty maiden to appear... Lusty maidens are fun... I would say some sort of dungeon/torture chamber, considering the place, but with another door on the other end of the dungeon, leading up to the kitchens, which are full of strange stuff. The kitchens might contain a side door... Don't forget to rescue the soon to be tortured maiden from the torture chamber!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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evilhomer28 wrote: | how about me! because you never got me in this chapter and i want in after paying you[/u] |
Fear not Evil Homer, you will be in, I promise! I have a double-your-money back guarantee! The story has broken loose and is going off at all angles at the moment, so I couldn't fit you in this ep, that's all 'cos I want to make you a worthy character. Else you would have been 'Bob!'
Thanks for the grammar point Smee, I wrote this chapter quite quickly and didn't check it as well as I usually do. I like your idea by the way.
I think the dungeon needs to be 'down'. Hyperion, it would have been a torture chamber if people had voted for 'down the stairs'. However, don't worry, I have plans in this direction, and of course - lusty maidens!!!
Fear not everyone, there is plenty of life left in this story yet! Oh yes indeed. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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DukeReg Citizen
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 7:03 pm Post subject: |
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Its cold is it? Then I suggest that it is a walk-in refridgerator, full of decades-old meat and horrors untold.
And what better place to meet a lusty maiden than tied up in the coldroom of an evil castle? _________________ Duke Reg
Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 1:38 am Post subject: |
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DukeReg wrote: |
And what better place to meet a lusty maiden than tied up in the coldroom of an evil castle? |
Where better indeed? I can't think of anywhere. On second thoughts, maybe this explains my lack of success with the fairer sex. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 10:29 pm Post subject: |
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Heh, nice chapter. "Bob" seems to be an epidemic here... _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 11:14 pm Post subject: |
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Nothing to do with me
*looks innocent and points at a Stoat* _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 1:06 am Post subject: |
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Smee wrote: | Nothing to do with me
*looks innocent and points at a Stoat* |
What?? OUTRAGEOUS accusation!!!
I never... well, I might have... well, not very often, anyway...
Oh, all right, you got me! But it's still all your fault!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 1:10 am Post subject: |
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Now now people, I think Homer J Simpson said it best:
"This is everybodies fault except mine." _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Hyperion Guest
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 11:20 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm... I was suggesting down for the simple reason that they are usually down. Not as in the actual direction down, but as a hypothetical down that is really, say... up. I'm not against an airy, well lit dungeon!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:04 am Post subject: Chapter 10 any second now! |
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K. I liked all of your ideas, so I have kind of pooled them all together and written chapter 10 of Narg.
It shall be posted below very soon.
_________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Hyperion Guest
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:09 am Post subject: |
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Great! Post Post Post Now Now Now! I hope you didn't forget the vivid descriptions of the lusty maidens... Or the vivid descriptions of Narg. Your choice.
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Hyperion Guest
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:20 am Post subject: |
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I'll take slanderous abuse to a whole new level. WHERE ARE THE WENCHES?
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:22 am Post subject: |
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Hyperion wrote: | I'll take slanderous abuse to a whole new level. WHERE ARE THE WENCHES? |
Hehheh. Patience my rocky friend. Patience. They will come, never fear! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:37 am Post subject: Re: Synopsis & Ep 10 - Ice to see you. |
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One technicality
Quote: |
The black door resisted, obviously it had not been well used, which was an encouraging sign. Narg used all his strength, and as it slowed yielded... |
Slowly yielded?
Great chaper!
He's got to go with the Lich's demands. We don't want to lose Old Stony, do we? The lich-lord will probably try to betray us later... but I reckon Narg won't be shy about betraying the Lich either, so that makes it even
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:41 am Post subject: Slowly yielded. |
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Oops! Thanks SS. Fixed that and a couple of other small bits. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 7:53 am Post subject: |
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Find out what the Lich's quest is and if it's reasonable go with it.
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 1:05 pm Post subject: |
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Where is Evil Homer.
And I will pay you 50-100 fables if make my character taller, and him getting another spell book to use....lol! _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 1:28 pm Post subject: |
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Great chapter.
I can only hope you're not nominated. But then again I think I'll nominate you myself.
Get Shogun fixed and be prepared for any double-crossing.
At the end of the day, we need that key.
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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evilhomer28 Guest
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 1:43 pm Post subject: |
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Chinaren, i was meant to be in your stories two chapters ago. i want ALL of my fables back. all 140 of them.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | “My name is Homer, or was at one time. It used to be Lord Homer, but then it was Evil Homer by those who didn’t understand my aims.” |
Erm...EH, I think you made it into the story. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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DukeReg Citizen
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 3:20 pm Post subject: |
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Definitely find out what Evil Homer wants from him. Also do the usual "how do I know you won't betray me?" routine. Then agree to do it. Narg will stab him in the back anyway so it doesn't matter if its a raw deal just as long as the stone to flesh is cast before they leave, not once they get back.
If Gorgus makes a scene about working with the lich, tell him that its the only way to save Shogun's life. Saving lives is good, right? _________________ Duke Reg
Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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evilhomer28 wrote: | Chinaren, i was meant to be in your stories two chapters ago. i want ALL of my fables back. all 140 of them. |
Hehe, nice one E.H, but you only donated 60. I have the receipt to prove it! And, as others have pointed out, you are in this chapter. You even got a 'guest star' billing at the top!
Everyone else: Thanks for the comments! A nice lot there.
And I will pay you 50-100 fables if make my character taller, and him getting another spell book to use....lol!
Hehe, be careful what you wish for Shogun, it may come true! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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OldJoe Citizen
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 5:44 pm Post subject: |
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Good tale chinaren!
Quiz the lich and agree, but carefully! _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:45 am Post subject: |
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Excellent, I loved the salad garden.
And poor Muaddib gets tortured everywhere.
Stay and rest awhile - hopefully EH has some control over her and she won't do anything too nasty. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:55 am Post subject: |
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Good chapter. I love the way you keep dangling hot babes in front of poor Narg. What's a brave hero to do, eh?
I'd say carry on. They're stout adventurers, they can take a bit of exhaustion. And can Narg really trust someone so cold and frigid, when she's making such hot promises? Not to sound too cynical, but I reckon he'd get more action from the halfling!
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 5:41 am Post subject: |
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Nice chapter
I think they should move on.
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 1:14 pm Post subject: |
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And you mean by rest which means in a bed..with someone....who is female.....I vote move on, we need some steel sword action here! _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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DukeReg Citizen
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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Narg being Narg, he should stay and "rest". Ahem. The other two are bitter and untrusting respectively, so I'm sure they'll be on the look out for trouble or deceit.
As for danger, I don't think pushing on is lacking in its dangers either, so staying is no big deal. _________________ Duke Reg
Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
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OldJoe Citizen
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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I reckon I would vote for him to stay and have a little ol' rest with the purty gal. _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk.
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Hyperion Guest
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:50 pm Post subject: |
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Let's stick with the good old lusty maidens and Narg, shall we? :o Womanising gives it that level of class it needs... But seriously, you do need to have that part in the story for general consistancy. Narg is a person of primal appetites and therefore would consider sharing a bed with someone when it is cold more important than charging through icy castles through hordes of screaming demons, led by the Demon Lady, Phang, who could probably tear them to shreds if they aren't careful... All to give a small ring to a being of great evil who will probably kill them anyway as they leave. Who they will free onto the world.
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DukeReg Citizen
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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Hyperion wrote: | led by the Demon Lady, Phang, who could probably tear them to shreds if they aren't careful... |
Isn't that a different story? _________________ Duke Reg
Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 10:22 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, poll is up.
I put a third option in to 'attack' the IQ, but it could also be to use force her to do their bidding, to achieve their goals, whatever they may be! It's a bit vague I know.
Right, have to go back to work now.
Thanks for all the comments! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Hyperion Guest
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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DukeReg wrote: | Hyperion wrote: | led by the Demon Lady, Phang, who could probably tear them to shreds if they aren't careful... |
Isn't that a different story?
_________________
Duke Reg |
No indeed my royal friend. Phang gets automatic leadership of any large group of demons led by a nameless lord.
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DukeReg Citizen
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 12:13 am Post subject: |
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Hyperion wrote: | DukeReg wrote: | Hyperion wrote: | led by the Demon Lady, Phang, who could probably tear them to shreds if they aren't careful... |
Isn't that a different story?
_________________
Duke Reg |
No indeed my royal friend. Phang gets automatic leadership of any large group of demons led by a nameless lord. |
I'll have to remember that for future reference... :biggrin: _________________ Duke Reg
Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 11:46 pm Post subject: |
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Woo-hoo!!! Bob is back!!!
Maaaaarv'lous chapter, China! You've got me hovering between going through the other door (the sensible option, I suppose), or going into the fight (just because I want to see more of 'the sons of Bob').
What's a Narg to do? I guess I'll decide when the poll comes up
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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Excellent Chapter.
A quick technicality:
Quote: | I promised by brother | and I think there was another one in the Ice Queen's first speech - 'Here' I think.
*Chants* Bob, bob, bob, bob...bob, bob, bob, bob
Anyway, Whilst Narg loves the fight as much as the next guy, he also appreciates the finer things in life - like being alive. He's going to atl east try the other door with a bit more effort.
Yes it might attract them, but I think running in and starting a fight might attract them as well.
I look forward to more.
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 12:04 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Smeee,
Whilst you were spotting those I was spotting the ones in Time Before. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Hyperion Guest
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 12:44 am Post subject: |
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New poll needed. I think we should attack all out. Shogun will destroy half, the magic of Grom shall weaken them, Bloodletter will finish them off... Easy.
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DukeReg Citizen
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 2:00 am Post subject: |
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Kill, kill, kill! They may well have to come back this way, and who knows what might be chasing them when they do. They dont want any delays later.
They should blast and slash them into bits, with Narg and Bloodletter in the doorway where they can't all reach him at once. _________________ Duke Reg
Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 7:29 am Post subject: |
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Poll will go up soon. You are a bloodthirsty lot! Guess that's why I like you all ! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 1:22 am Post subject: |
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Clearly a good poll - a three way tie
I voted to try the other door. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 4:10 am Post subject: Okay |
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Right then, looks like FIGHT just took it. Close. Hence I have started working on the next chapter, but I am struggling a little bit (first time with Narg). I know where to 'get to', but just not 'which way to go'. Ah well, it'll come.
Watch this space and look out for Smee's in-depth review of Narg I just commissioned! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Sorrow_A Guest
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Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 7:40 pm Post subject: |
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Bob bob bob bob bob!
BOB!
Not that it matters but I voted to LEAVE NO BOBS ALIVE! MUAHAHAHAAAA!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 6:47 am Post subject: here we go! |
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Right, it's been a hard slog to produce this chapter for some reason. Anyway, here it is. Thanks to Jnmrcs for his winning idea (I will have a little prize for you if you join Arena2 Jnmrcs), and thanks to the rest of you who sent in ideas as well.
Posting commences in a few minutes.. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:33 am Post subject: |
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So THAT'S what the insanity thing was about!
OK...
I liked it. Especially D-Lotus' guest appearance, and the group-hug effect. Is Narg going to change his name to 'Narg the Nice'?
I think we should agree with everyone for now. Yes, free the god, yes, complete the Lich-Lord's mission, yes make all the Bobs happy with us. We can always decide which ones we were lying about later
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LordoftheNight Revered IFian
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:46 am Post subject: |
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Quote: | I think we should agree with everyone for now. Yes, free the god, yes, complete the Lich-Lord's mission, yes make all the Bobs happy with us. We can always decide which ones we were lying about later |
i think you're nothing but a devious swine stoat. and i like it.
i thought curing the madness would be to do with IM in good vs evil vs money though
anyways - good story chinaren _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Last edited by LordoftheNight on Wed Nov 23, 2005 12:20 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 9:29 am Post subject: |
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Great chapter, although I can suggest nothing more than the Stoat's idea.
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 9:56 am Post subject: |
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More missions. Might as well agree as it sounds like
a) if we don't were probally dead right now (being in the middle of all these Bobs)
b) if all these Bobs will help us then the fight against whatever we come accross will be much easier.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 10:33 pm Post subject: Poll up, vote vote vote! |
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OKay all, poll is up. Not a very complex decision point this time! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 11:51 pm Post subject: |
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Voted. (I've just got to say I LOVE your new piccie Chinaren. It's the way I always imagined you to look)
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 11:54 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | (I've just got to say I LOVE your new piccie Chinaren. It's the way I always imagined you to look) |
I just PM'd him the same thing.
I've voted, and went with the plan.
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:03 am Post subject: Avatar |
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Hehe, thanks guys. I thought it might tickle people a little! Shogun sent me a PM earlier saying much the same thing!
Actually, it is a recent photo of me taking my Fables to the bank! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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DukeReg Citizen
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 2:10 am Post subject: |
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I voted to agree as well.
I think its in Narg's nature to just agree to anything that gives immediate advantage, and hack his way through whichever complainants are least dangerous later on. _________________ Duke Reg
Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 5:23 am Post subject: |
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As an aside, a bit of trivia: Ep13 was going to be called: 'The Madness of Doctor George' which is why the doc is called George. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 6:44 am Post subject: |
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Where's the dissenter in this?
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 6:49 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, sorry it's not much of a decision point this time! Bit of a no-brainer really.
I was considering carrying on with the 'next' chapter and adding it to this one as well, or some of it, but I was tired, and this episode was long enough already!
Next time... _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shady Stoat Elder
Joined: 02 Oct 2005
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 2:57 pm Post subject: |
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I say revive him. I want Bob, Bob, Bob and Bob to be happy
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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Shady Stoat wrote: | I say revive him. I want Bob, Bob, Bob and Bob to be happy |
Don't forget Queenie. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Suneila Guest
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 4:00 pm Post subject: |
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Shady, you missed Queenie. We want him to be happy, too. But I say don't waste your time reviving him, just lead the bobs, preferably Big Bob, to where he is.
~sunny
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Smee Revered IFian
Joined: 16 Oct 2004
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:33 am Post subject: |
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Good chapter Chinaren.
Your review is progressing as well.
I too want all the Bobs to be happy. You have not only found their god, but defeated the lich and the devil so they should be very happy with you. Therefore more than content with just being told where Muaddib is whilst you leave the castle.
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:12 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for the comments all.
Okay then, time to put the poll up!
Happy voting! Damn, that's catching. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 5:58 am Post subject: |
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I voted to tell King Bob. Happy Bob, happy Queenie, everyone's happy
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Suneila Guest
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 11:36 am Post subject: |
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^ditto^ (I think I've been saying that a lot lately)
~sunny
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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Suneila wrote: | ^ditto^ (I think I've been saying that a lot lately)
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You should set your Function 5 key to say: <presses f5> I agree with Stoat. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Phang Elder
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 5:10 am Post subject: |
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chinaren wrote: | Suneila wrote: | ^ditto^ (I think I've been saying that a lot lately)
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You should set your Function 5 key to say: <presses f5> I agree with Stoat. |
Chinaren you biatch! I just pushed F5 and it reloaded the post page!
On that missing post, there was in fact something saying that if it didn't do as you suggest it does, you owed me 100 Fables. Money please. _________________ Stuff here
Da Huuuuub
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 5:43 am Post subject: |
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Voted to tell the Bob's where he is. Nice chapter
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LordoftheNight Revered IFian
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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Phang wrote: | chinaren wrote: | Suneila wrote: | ^ditto^ (I think I've been saying that a lot lately)
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You should set your Function 5 key to say: <presses f5> I agree with Stoat. |
Chinaren you biatch! I just pushed F5 and it reloaded the post page!
On that missing post, there was in fact something saying that if it didn't do as you suggest it does, you owed me 100 Fables. Money please. |
*facepalm* silly silly phang. next time try press crtl and w before you press F5. just a suggestion _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Phang Elder
Joined: 19 Sep 2004
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 2:07 am Post subject: |
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lordofthenight wrote: | Phang wrote: | chinaren wrote: | Suneila wrote: | ^ditto^ (I think I've been saying that a lot lately)
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You should set your Function 5 key to say: <presses f5> I agree with Stoat. |
Chinaren you biatch! I just pushed F5 and it reloaded the post page!
On that missing post, there was in fact something saying that if it didn't do as you suggest it does, you owed me 100 Fables. Money please. |
*facepalm* silly silly phang. next time try press crtl and w before you press F5. just a suggestion |
Shut up. _________________ Stuff here
Da Huuuuub
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 2:18 am Post subject: |
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Quote: | Chinaren you biatch! I just pushed F5 and it reloaded the post page! |
Hahahaha! That's almost* worth paying a 100Fables!
Now then you two be nice!
*Almost, but not quite. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Phang Elder
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 2:33 am Post subject: |
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Hmph!
Well to get you all back I require an orchestra *orchestra appears* now your fate is sealed!
*raises conducting stick...and begins to play...* baam, baam, baam...baam baam baam baam... _________________ Stuff here
Da Huuuuub
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Phang Elder
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 3:32 am Post subject: |
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Silence upon ye, and let us get back on topic before I smite you with a haddock.
Badom, babababababaam... _________________ Stuff here
Da Huuuuub
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 3:01 am Post subject: |
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*grins* Loverly stuff! I wondered when Serime would be back.
I don't think Narg would want to kill Laroth. It doesn't seem to fit in with his plans for Serime.
You've got to wonder, though, if the dark elf's half-sister likes it rough... what sort of effect would torture have on Laroth? Personally, I wouldn't want to go there - but maybe Serime would?
Gorgus would get to see the Dark Elf suffer. Good. The drow wouldn't be killed. Good. Serime wouldn't have to get revenge on Narg. Good. Narg could watch a little brotherly-sisterly interplay. Good.
Where's the downside?
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 3:01 am Post subject: |
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Perhaps he would see if the dark elf would help him before deciding anything. If the dark elf will help he would allow him to live. Otherwise...
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LordoftheNight Revered IFian
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 10:49 am Post subject: |
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vampiric drow now eh?
and is it just me - but are drow becoming a thing with you - i believe all three of your fantasy stories include them
i think they should see what he'll tell them before torturing him. if they can make an ally out of him instead of an enemy then its got to be better _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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lordofthenight wrote: | vampiric drow now eh?
and is it just me - but are drow becoming a thing with you - i believe all three of your fantasy stories include them
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Mmm, a co-incidence! Arena only had them because people entered them. For this story they were mentioned a while back, and it was always my intention to go with them at some point, so it isn't a recent thing.
I did try and think of another race in Greed, but it needed to be some evil race which were intelligent and would be found in groups, and these were the only things I could think of! I will have to dig out some more creatures... _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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CunningFox Citizen
Joined: 27 Oct 2005
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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tempting as it is to see him use the torture things, I think questioning him first would be a better idea, especily with Serims help.
Keep it coming Chinaren, I printed this story off at work and read it all, took me ages but now I am all caught up! _________________ Just browsing, thank-you.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Sorrow_A Guest
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Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 7:03 pm Post subject: |
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Let him live as long as he . . . cooperates. (Evil laughter)
MuAHAhAHAhAHAhAHAhAHAhAHAhA!
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Suneila Guest
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 10:30 am Post subject: |
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chinaren, chinaren, chinaren:
thou and thee mean you as in :
"Thou art about to die" or "Death shalt meet thee shortly"
thy means your as in :
"Thy death shalt occur shortly"
*sigh*shakes head* oh, well.
That was a nice fight scene (except for the blood licking, yech!)
I vote talk first.
~sunny
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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Suneila wrote: | chinaren, chinaren, chinaren:
thou and thee mean you as in :
"Thou art about to die" or "Death shalt meet thee shortly"
thy means your as in :
"Thy death shalt occur shortly"
*sigh*shakes head* oh, well.
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Sorry Miss Sunbellina. Actually, I wrote the fight scene some time ago, before your lessons in Olde English and just inserted it* into this chapter, and I neglected to update it. I will go and correct things later, when I have some time. Pretty darned tootin' busy today.
*Sometimes, when I have a good idea for a scene, I write it and then insert it when an opportunity arises. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Sorrow_A Guest
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe you wouldn't be so busy if you ony had one or two stories.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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Sorrow_A wrote: | Maybe you wouldn't be so busy if you ony had one or two stories. |
That wouldn't make any difference! The stories aren't the thing I have to be busy with today. My work is, plus real life stuff! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 10:44 pm Post subject: |
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I voted for letting him live, so long as he co-operates. If he doesn't, Kill him. If he does, well....he could make a useful companion in further trips in dangerous expiditions. _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 7:36 pm Post subject: |
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Okay then. Letting him live looks to be the winner here. I will start work on the next chapter in the next couple of days, if I get enough time! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shogun Respected Citizen
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 2:18 pm Post subject: |
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Hurry up, Chinaren! :biggrin: _________________ I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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I just have to force myself to finish Arena, and then I will do the next Narg. I have been busier than usual lately (including today) so these will probably both be out in a few days.
Gosh, never had a 'hurry up' for one of my stories before! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 5:36 am Post subject: |
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There's only room for one 'Nasty' in the party. Serime hasn't got a chance!
I say he strings her along, telling her that he's going to dispatch the other two at some future point. Meanwhile, he can enjoy all of her subtle, and not-so-subtle charms. Then, when it finally comes time for him to choose, he can ditch her like a used tissue.
Wow! I'm really getting into this whole anti-hero lark!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 5:43 am Post subject: |
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Quote: | Wow! I'm really getting into this whole anti-hero lark |
LOL!
It's strange, but I do tend to corrupt wherever I go! I put it down to my natural corruptive charisma. And beer of course.
Oh man! Has anyone seen "Euro-road trip" it has the best song ever and it just came up on my headphones.
<Heads over to the open forum> "Scotty doesn't know..." _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Sorrow_A Guest
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 11:05 am Post subject: |
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Beer: The Natural Anesthesia! Buy some Today!
Ahem. I agree with Stoat.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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Voted.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 10:25 pm Post subject: |
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Presses F5 and votes.
Good Chapter Chinaren.
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2005 7:40 am Post subject: |
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Hmm. I wonder where Serime's popped off to? She seems to come and go more often than... *stops that thought right there*
Anyway, I think we ought to break away for Un. There's an assassin after Narg (or Serime, who knows?), and if they change their course, he might be put off for a while.
Another good chapter. Aren't they all?
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2005 9:01 am Post subject: |
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Quote: | Another good chapter. Aren't they all? |
Indeed they are.
Yep - head to Un. If there is a God Eye there then we want it.
Quote: | ”Well, glad he waited till we arrived.” Said Shogun. |
Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2005 11:11 am Post subject: |
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After all the work we did to get that key lets use it and hope that we can figure out how to close the door behind us. The assisan can't follow us if there is only one key and we have it.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 5:52 am Post subject: Polling |
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okay then, I will put the poll up whilst I am still online.
A simple choice this time, though a fairly major one.
To Un or forward through the wall? _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 4:19 pm Post subject: |
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Voted
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 10:59 pm Post subject: |
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Okay then. Un has it*. Polling is now closed, thank-you for your votes.
I have written the next chapter as my PC at home is working, just not connected. However my brand new shiny 512Mb keyring flash disk seems to have disfunctioned, so you will have to wait for a couple of days until I can transfer it to this PC and upload.
Watch this space!
*Which, as usual, is not the vote I expected. Still, it has some interesting plot possibilities this way. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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Well there going that way anyway and centaurs with bows could really help us when we get to the city
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Key King
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 11:46 pm Post subject: |
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It doesn't hurt keep our eyes open, but I don't think we should promise anything. I think Shogun's right, we've got enough to worry about.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 1:18 am Post subject: |
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I'm interested in whether the centaurs can't give us many details, or whether they won't!
Either way, it's a very vague problem, I think we should be equally vague in our response. As Key says, go along, take a closer look but don't commit to anything yet.
'nother excellent chapter, China
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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I am going mad. I think I PMd Smee to delete the poll for this. Sorry everyone if I put one up before and you voted. I am getting confused between my stories!
Anyway, poll is up (possibly again). Vote quickly though, I have a bout of MFWS* coming on!
*Madly Fast Writing Syndrome. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 5:06 am Post subject: |
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A good chapter Chinaren,
I've gone with Key's suggestion - keep a look out but be as vague as they are being.
Happy Writing,
P.S I have definately not forgotten I owe you a review - it will happen. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:25 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | P.S I have definately not forgotten I owe you a review - it will happen |
Gosh, I had forgotten actually! Oohh! *excited now*
Okay then, looks like option 2 is taking it. Unless this swings before I leave work I will write the next chapter using this option. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 12:51 am Post subject: |
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Good chapter!
The roundheads aren't our concern. There's certainly powerful black magic going on around here - but it's unlikely to be from the Black Eye. Why would it have changed so much in the last few weeks, if it was because of a magical artifact that dwelled here permanently?
Of course, someone could have brought the Black Eye here, but that implies that it's already been found.
Let's stick to basics and follow the Necromancer. Tag onto him for long enough and he'll show us where all the Eyes are, then we can take 'em off him. Nastily
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Ingrothechundyer Guest
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 4:11 am Post subject: |
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I agree with stoat here
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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Well, if I remember correctly Gorgus believes the Black eye gives the power to see anything that could cause you harm, and the white anything that could be beneficial to the holder.
Of course, not much is known about the Eyes, especially the mysterious third eye, and they probably have other powers, and maybe side-affects, too! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 8:17 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm votes seem to have gone in the opposite direction to comments.
I voted for searching for the black eye. If the necromancer has the white, and about to ue it we have no chance of getting there in time and stopping him.
Might as well try and augment our powers with the black eye before facing him than without it.
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 2:31 am Post subject: |
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Well, a quick search for the black eye seems to have taken it. I will begin work on the next chapter soon... _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 4:54 am Post subject: |
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Wow! Plenty of good stuff in that chapter!
Things are becoming a little clearer now...
Ideally, I'd say we need to find the third stone, which would mean agreeing to help Serime's team until you were away from them, then completely ignoring the White Eye. After all, the Necromancer needs the Black Eye as much as we do, so he would have to face Mistral sooner or later, and they would both end up weaker from the experience.
But we have no idea where the third eye is... unless I missed something (which I often do).
I definitely don't think we should bring the White Eye anywhere near here. It's what Mistral begged us to do in the first place, and it would be a disaster if she managed to get her hands on the two of them.
Maybe we could trick Mistral in some way. She's not very bright, after all. Narg almost caught her out last time. Perhaps he can call for a 'truce' meeting with her, telling her that he's willing to go get the second eye for her (in return for power sharing). Now that he's free, his words will hold more weight than they did before.
The trouble with that is, she's got the Black Eye which allows her to see everything that might be a danger to her. We'd have to set up an ambush that was 'harmless' in some way. Like a sleep spell that would leave her untouched apart from the loss of the eye.
I'm assuming she carries the black eye, chinaren? I doubt she'd want to leave it lying around for someone else to pick up?
That's first thoughts anyway - and pretty long they were, too
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 4:59 am Post subject: |
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And good first thoughts they are too Stoaty.
Yes, the plot is finally beginning to reveal itself. I think that Narg is starting to enter endgame, though there is a little way to go yet!
Quote: | I'm assuming she carries the black eye, Chinaren? I doubt she'd want to leave it lying around for someone else to pick up? |
Indeed. You can see it in this chapter somewhere if you look closely.
As for the third eye you didn't miss anything. No one (in the story so far) has said they know where the third eye is. I have a few ideas of course... _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 5:33 am Post subject: |
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Excellent chapter, and good first thoughts from Stoat.
I find myself in the same position as the last chapter. There's no point going all the way to the tower after the white eye when it's likely to be just as hard (if not harder) to get than the black eye from Mistral. The third eye could be anywhere.
So he needs to stay and help Yek.
Stoat raises a good point about a 'safe' ambush if Mistral is not to learn of it. However, she can't see everything otherwise she'd have been aware of Narg's attempt to get her in the throne-room before he'd even finished thinking about it.
Is a disguise like a Roundhead possible? Such evil overlord types often get complacent with those they think they command. So long as they don't do anything to mark notice then she may not realise that she can't 'see' through these slaves eyes.
Needs more thought...
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Key King
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 11:26 am Post subject: |
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I like the idea of an ambush too. Shogun and Gorgos should be able to help with this.
We know that Mistral wants the White Eye above all else. Maybe there's a way to plant rumors or make her think that it's coming to the city, and use that as bait. Maybe Narg leaves the city and pretends to return with the Eye?
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Idea master Magus Extraordinaire
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 2:18 pm Post subject: |
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Indeed, a truce meeting sounds good. She brings no more Roundheads than he has friends, and they try to work something out. It seems that while the Black Eye is evil, the White Eye is good...
Which begs the question as to why the hell a necromancer is holding it.
In any case, go for a truce, and if something goes wrong, just kill her.
And I like the subtle (Oh so subtle) reference to our own mayor of IF. _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil.
...No plans yet.
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LordoftheNight Revered IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 2:28 pm Post subject: |
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well, why does a necromancer have to be evil?
maybe he's just been hounded and prosecuted his whole life, and is believed to be evil but is really just misunderstood, and wants to bring about an end to death?
then he would want the 'good' white eye _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Key King
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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Idea master wrote: | And I like the subtle (Oh so subtle) reference to our own mayor of IF. |
Do you mean that wise and handsome fellow "Yek"? Why, you're right, I hadn't thought of it before, but there is a certain resemblance. *straightens tie and looks admiringly in mirror *
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | *straightens tie and looks admiringly in mirror * | LOL!
Hehe, I wondered when someone would notice that! Well spotted IM!
The White Eye isn't Good as such, it just allows people to see things that may benefit them. And both Eyes need a concious effort to use them for this, so you need to check, it doesn't warn the user automatically.
The Necromancer, according to Mistral, is going to use the power (magic) in the Eye to boost his strength. Of course, that may just be an excuse. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 9:28 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, with Narg once again in the running for SGotM, I shall work on the next chapter.
Ambush took it, and I have an idea about that one...
_________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 5:06 am Post subject: |
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Another good chapter. Narg never fails us
I don't think Narg would be too inclined to trust either Serime or Mistral. Not when he's thinking with the upper portions of his body, anyway. Both of them have lied, attempted to manipulate and betrayed him in the past. Why assume they'll stop now?
It's possible that Un has some unaffected extras who could fight though. Some good old-fashioned red-jackets to go into the Necromancer's tower as the front line? Get them equipped with swords and armour, make sure that they don't know how slim their odds will be, and take them along. Safety in numbers.
If I have any further thoughts, I'll come back
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DukeReg Citizen
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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He will definitely take one randy wench along, being Narg, but it should be obvious that taking them both would only cause trouble. The question is, which one should he take? I personally think Serime, because he has seen at least part of her agenda, and hasn't come to any real harm despite prolonged exposure to her. Besides, if Mistral is pretending, she could try to reclaim the eye when they cant afford distractions.
As for others, a huge line of meat shields and trap-triggerers would be good. Maybe theres someone with the magic to control some of the roundheads? They wouldnt complain about a suicide mission. _________________ Duke Reg
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Tempting Fate
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 4:00 am Post subject: |
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Okay then. Poll is up.
I have just added the Serime/Mistral options. If you have any good other ideas for something to ask Yek, then note 'em here please!
_________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Dobs Guest
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 1:14 am Post subject: |
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rite, im all caught up! and I voted in storygame thread.
Yes, i still hang about here but dont usually log on anymore.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 3:34 am Post subject: |
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Sorry - made it a tie. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:14 am Post subject: |
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Smee wrote: | Sorry - made it a tie. |
I don't think you are at all sorry! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:54 am Post subject: |
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A definate pang of guilt shot through me.*
*and out the otherside _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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OldJoe Citizen
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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Ah reckon if yer can get double yer pleasure from two fillies, yer should grab yer pistol and start firing. Yes sir. _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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OldJoe wrote: | Ah reckon if yer can get double yer pleasure from two fillies, yer should grab yer pistol and start firing. Yes sir. |
LOL! Nicely put Joe! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:59 am Post subject: |
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*grins* Good chapter again. I see you managed to surround Narg with a whole troupe of potential mud-wrestlers this time around.
I say go for the lake. You might get to see some skinny-dipping, if you're lucky
(and I'm not talking about just Shogun here...)
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LordoftheNight Revered IFian
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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:46 am Post subject: |
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they're both tempting, but i'd advise staying away from settlements currently, a band of adventures like yourselves might not be well recieved at the best of times
just one point
Quote: | “She” said Serime, pointing a finger, “should not be coming.”
“I will travel where I wish rogue” Serine answered, striding into the room, her staff striking the ground.
“Just stay out of my way girl” Serime retorted. |
i think the middle Serime is supposed to be Minstral, but you never know _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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Oops, thanks Lordy. Fixed. There's always something you miss isn't there? _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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OldJoe Citizen
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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Ah reckon he should just mosey on down to that there lake and take a gander. Yes sir. _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:35 pm Post subject: |
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mmm. Not many responses this time.
I will put a poll up I think, it's a fairly straightforward d point anyway! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Dobs Guest
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:36 pm Post subject: |
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go for the lake!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:38 pm Post subject: |
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Hey Dobber. Nice to see you around!
The lake seems to be the popular choice, but we shall see... _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 7:31 am Post subject: |
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Good chapter China, as usual
I don't trust this man. He saved us - but who activated the zombies in the first place, eh? What's to say that this guy isn't the necromancer himself? I don't trust helpful strangers - especially not in this story!
Carry straight on the way you were going. Face the Necromancer with one orb versus one (with any luck) and see where it leads us.
I know, I know. Probably somewhere very painful
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Tazgirl180992 Guest
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 11:11 am Post subject: |
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Brilliant story! Only just read it, took ages! But it's fab! Any way It's tricky, is the old person speeking the truth? Should they OR CAN they trust him. Here's my thoughts:
Getting the 3rd eye:
If they get it, it'll make them more powerful than the romancer (sp?) But his army has already trying to get it, they have a head start.
Taking the 2nd eye:
The romancer probably won't be expecting the group, yet he has the white eye to protect him.
So it's kind of 50/50........... I'll have to think about this!
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Key King
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 11:19 am Post subject: |
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I'm think we should try to stop the Necromancer from getting the Third Eye. If the Mad Monks, whoever they are, are putting up a good fight against the Necromancer, maybe we could ally with them and they could help us get back the White Eye.
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DukeReg Citizen
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 8:57 pm Post subject: |
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I think if these mad monks are doing a good job, leave them too it and continue. That way theres more than one thing the necromancer has to deal with, and if the old man is tricking them, there's no repercussions.
Besides, if Narg's sick of thinking and complications, he can just stubborly decide to bull on with what he was doing before people tried to interrupt him with thinking. _________________ Duke Reg
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, I think it comes down to just two options. Obviously they will be quizzing the old guy more whatever they choose.
So, vote vote vote! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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CunningFox Citizen
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Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:00 am Post subject: |
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I want to see these mad monks _________________ Just browsing, thank-you.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 5:35 am Post subject: |
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I want to go see the mad monks too - but Stoaty's reasoning does make sense.
Hmmmm...
Nah - I really want to see the mad monks
Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:05 am Post subject: |
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Smee wrote: | I want to go see the mad monks too - but Stoaty's reasoning does make sense.
Hmmmm...
Nah - I really want to see the mad monks
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LOL!! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Dobs Guest
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Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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go to the monks already.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 9:41 pm Post subject: Synopsis |
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Synopsis
For those of you who haven't been keeping up, here is a brief overview of the story so far:
Our hero Narg, accompanied by a stout Halfling wizard called Shogun and a solid Cleric named Gorgus, has accepted a commission from a wizard (Candlelion) and the town council to seek out a dread necromancer who has set up shop in an ancient tower to the north.
After accepting a side quest to find the daughter of the local militia chief (who went in search of the necromancer herself with a small group of her own) they ventured north. They learned of a key hidden inside a castle which would allow them access to the deadlands where the tower was.
After a brief encounter with the Necromancer, who got away, they met and lost another adventurer, one Serime, who expressed her liking for Narg in no uncertain terms.
The three carried on and entered the Castle of Hells and, after many adventures, overcame Lich lords, evil hags, hordes of Bobs and even a Lord of Hell to emerge triumphant.
They turned north again and stumbled upon a Drow fort, venturing inside they recovered Serime, who joined them. However, an assassin in the night forced her to depart quickly.
The three set off and finally encountered the Deadlands, only to turn off West in pursuit of the Black Eye in the mysterious city of Un. Tulip, a centaur, joined their quest and together they overcame the possesed mage Mistral, who also happened to be the daughter of the Militia Chief.
With the thanks of the city they left with the Black Eye safely in Narg's possession. Surviving an encounter with the Guardian of the Black eye with the aid of the Guardian of the White Eye, they entered the Deadlands.
Exploring a small, seemingly deserted village, they were set upon by a horde of undead. Fighting a losing battle against overwhelming numbers they were plucked to safety by a mysterious old man, who told them the powerful Third Eye of God was being held by the Mad Monks who were under attack by the Necromancers' army.
You join our story as Narg is deciding whether to seek out these Mad Monks, or head straight for the Necromancers' tower... _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Idea master Magus Extraordinaire
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 6:00 am Post subject: |
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Hum. Nice chapter. Now let me fire up the old Idearium machine here...
Ah yes! They could try to impersonate the undead that are attacking the castle. If theyr'e zombies, so much the better for Narg, it'll be easier for him.
Otherwise, try and find the secret entrance. There's always a secret entrance (Which happens to coincide with the secret exit). _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil.
...No plans yet.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:20 am Post subject: |
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At last! We seem to have found a use for those two dumb broads we're carting along. Decoy!
Use them as the front line troops. If the undead are at all interested in getting to an easy target, then Mistral and Serime can give them the runaround. Perhaps they can act as enough of a decoy that Narg can take a closer look at the castle.
Has he got a rope and grapple? Failing that, has he got the iron spikes or the trust 10foot pole? I'm sure he can find a way to climb the walls - and the monks may even help the party, seeing that they're not undead.
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Key King
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 1:02 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm...maybe try to sneak by the zombies to get to the castle wall.
Once we're there, I'd just ask nicely to enter. Say we're enemies of the Necromancer and want to help fight him.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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Hmmm, good ideas you lot. So we have:
Try sneaking in, perhaps in disguise.
Start flinging fireballs or the such like.
Look for the secret entrance.
Distract them with the broads.
I will give it a little while more and put a poll up. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 1:16 am Post subject: |
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Great chapter as always - although it slipped me by for some time.
I've gone for flinging fireballs - I rarely say no to some chance for magic to be used, and it's also a clear indication to the mad monks that you are on their side.
Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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OldJoe Citizen
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Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 4:19 am Post subject: |
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Ah reckon they should do some prospectin and find that durned secret entrance, and ah voted the same. _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk.
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Tazgirl180992 Guest
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Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 8:25 am Post subject: |
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supprise 'em with the fireball and such! The element of supprise is on their side!!
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Jack_D.Mented Respected Citizen
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 8:57 am Post subject: |
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Cool chapter. I like the whole idea of disguising themselves as zombies, even though it does seem a bit Shaun of the Dead- like. Oh, well...
It's not gonna win anyways, so carry on with the mayhem! _________________ Eadgar's Saga Chapter 2 POLL
Abattoir Chapter 2!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:25 pm Post subject: |
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Me too actually. Oh well. I will write the next chapter as soon as I can think of something!
In the meantime, poll is still open! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:00 am Post subject: |
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I think they have to go for the Eye. If they can't find that, then all of this journey has been for nothing. Locking themselves in with the mad monks will achieve nothing, neither will rescuing their friends in the infirmary. Unless Narg has two eyes against the Necromancer's one, they'll probably lose the fight.
Dashed good chapter, old chap
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:05 am Post subject: |
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Very good chapter Chinaren, but *sobs* Poor Shorty
The third eye must be retrieved before the necromancer. As to how - I'll have to think.
Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:09 am Post subject: |
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Quote: | Very good chapter Chinaren, but *sobs* Poor Shorty |
Aye well. Shogun no longer frequents the site, and I thought it about time for a major character loss*. It's a sad day indeed.
*There may be another one coming up somewhere else too. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Jack_D.Mented Respected Citizen
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 9:03 am Post subject: |
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Wow. I add characters to my story just as you start killing yours off.
Interesting contrast, don't you think?
But anyways, good work so far. I'm liking it. _________________ Eadgar's Saga Chapter 2 POLL
Abattoir Chapter 2!
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LordoftheNight Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 2:50 pm Post subject: |
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Feel free to replace him with me should you like.
And I agree with Shady, got for the eye and then try to get to the Sanctum. But does he know where anything is in the Abbey? Maybe grab hold of a monk as a guide as well. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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OldJoe Citizen
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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I reckon yer should git to the Eye. Yup. Hat off to Shogun. _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk.
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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go for theeye. its what you came for.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Dobs Guest
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Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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voted my freind!
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DukeReg Citizen
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Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:52 am Post subject: |
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This poll is going to be really close! _________________ Duke Reg
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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LordoftheNight Revered IFian
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Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 2:26 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | “Defeat the what? Damn it, I hate it when that happens |
Lol - speaking from experience is he? And two new chapters in one day - lots of free time hmm?
As to what to do - what is he a goodie goodie Paladin, or a hardened Warrior Heroy Person. Go straight for the Necromancer - if your friends can't handle themselves you should get some better friends. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | Lol - speaking from experience is he? And two new chapters in one day - lots of free time hmm? |
I had this one half done, was just stuck at the shapeshifter bit. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 10:53 pm Post subject: |
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Excellent chapter
Now, on the grounds that defeating the Necromancer will defeat those that he has summoned, I think Narg is going to keep his eye on the main goal here.
Besides, he's nasty - and as Lordy says, his companions are mercenaries and volunteers. If they can't handle themselves, they should never have come along.
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Key King
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Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 11:25 am Post subject: |
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F5 Shady and Lordy - you've got the Necromancer on the run, don't slack off.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 9:43 pm Post subject: |
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Right, it seems like a simple poll is needed this time. A clear cut choice... _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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DukeReg Citizen
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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Voted to get the necromancer. My reasons are the same as those listed above. _________________ Duke Reg
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CunningFox Citizen
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Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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i voted to help. _________________ Just browsing, thank-you.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 8:59 pm Post subject: |
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The 'Get the Necromancer' vote took it, so I have started writing the next chapter. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 9:44 pm Post subject: |
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Ack - I forgot to comment and missed the vote
Sorry Chinny. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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I forgive you. It was fairly one sided vote anyway!
I reckon this story only has 2 or 3 chapters left now so, without rushing it, I want to get it done. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Dobs Guest
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:44 pm Post subject: |
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comeon then! Weres the next chapter?
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:45 pm Post subject: |
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Hehe. Sorry, I have started it, but currently stuck half way. It should be up early this week. I don't really have time this weekend. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 12:58 pm Post subject: |
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I say get some rest. There's something going on here and betrayal is going to be the order of the day - I'm sure of it!
So don't let anyone know you're back until you've rested and got your act together. Then approach the council
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LordoftheNight Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe you could get Gorgus to report back, while you and Mistral go and find lodgings.
She does seem awfully quick to take him back though, especially after he ditched her for Serime. You might think she'd feel snubbed, but I suppose not. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | There's something going on here and betrayal is going to be the order of the day - I'm sure of it! |
You are so cynical Stoat. One day you are going to be wrong. Of course, it may not be this day. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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DukeReg Citizen
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 287 Location: Australia Items Legends
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Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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They should rest. Narg can spend some of the time deciding what to do with these world-shakingly powerful artefacts he's now carrying around. And I think Narg knows something isn't right about this whole deal. As for strong beds and Mistral-oriented usage thereof, there is plenty of time for that later, when he's got a better idea what her motives are. _________________ Duke Reg
Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8882 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 5:34 am Post subject: |
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Okay then. Polls up with the suggestions and a few others so it looks like people are interested.
Vote away, says I. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Dobs Guest
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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voted to go and rest haha with mistral!!!!
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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voted to go and rest haha with mistral!!!! This muist be nearly finished now eh chinaren
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8882 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 12:28 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I am writing the next chapter now, which will probably be the last one. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8882 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 6:54 am Post subject: |
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Well, there you have it. My first Storygame* finished.
Bit of a long last chapter, but I wanted to wrap it up.
It didn't have the number of readers I would have hoped for, but I hope those that did follow enjoyed it. I would thank you for all your support and suggestions on the way.
This story is about 67,000 words long, according to Word. I plan to go over the whole thing and re-write it a little bit, to make it more of a novel.
Thanks again to everyone for participating. Another Narg tale will be along at some point in the future.
*That is to say, the first Storygame I started. The first ep of Narg was my first ever post on IF, so I feel all nostalgic. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shady Stoat Elder
Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 9:21 am Post subject: |
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Wooo! Well done - lots of atmosphere in that not-so-little chapter! I knew it wasn't over - but I didn't know that it wasn't over 3 times before the end
And another Narg on the way? Sounds good to me
Congrats on finishing your first ever storygame!
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Smee Revered IFian
Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 10:47 am Post subject: |
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Excellent Chinaren - great to see Narg win the day and for you to complete this first storygame. Nice ending too
67'000 words eh
It seems lacking to only give you 100F for finishing - but well done.
Happy Future Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Lordy Citizen
Joined: 18 Apr 2006
Posts: 116
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Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 11:29 am Post subject: |
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Yes, congradulations do appear to be in order, but there's not much else to see.
Just how can you top that?
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Key King
Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 2652 Location: The Royal Palace Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 9:20 pm Post subject: |
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Well-done, china!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
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Jack_D.Mented Respected Citizen
Joined: 22 Jan 2006
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Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 1:00 am Post subject: |
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Great job, China.
A smashing tale and I can't wait to see how you follow it up. _________________ Eadgar's Saga Chapter 2 POLL
Abattoir Chapter 2!
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DukeReg Citizen
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 287 Location: Australia Items Legends
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Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 5:05 am Post subject: |
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Well done!
Coming from a D&D background, I found Narg very familiar and interesting when I first stumbled into the City of IF. I feel almost nostalgic myself, thinking about it. *wipes away a tear*
Keep up the good work! _________________ Duke Reg
Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
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