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Key King
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:38 pm Post subject: Chapter 6: Whispers in the Dark |
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The sixth chapter of the featured storygame "The Machine's Daughter" has been posted:
Chapter 6: Whispers in the Dark
Discussion and voting are complete for Chapter 6.
For more about the storygame, see the New Players Start Here topic in this forum.
Last edited by Key on Sun Apr 30, 2006 6:48 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Muaddib Comrade
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:41 pm Post subject: |
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Theres a page error. It goes to some doteasy banner free thingymajig.
EDIT: Yeah its gone now.Sorry about that...
Excellent chapter!The mystery's deepening. Taremto's probably some myth the scarpis have about humans like Pilla.
I think she should hide, perhaps behind the figure of the male human?
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 8:49 pm Post subject: |
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Mmm, a bit more like it.
I think the only option is to go on!
Forward!! Onwards to her destiny! Huzzah! And so on. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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The suspense in this chapter was a bit surprising from all the other chapters, but I really enjoyed reading it.
I agree with Muaddib, Teremto is probably a myth about Pilla. Maybe she is supposedly a figure in a prophecy for the Scarpi. But the stranger's reaction, and the voices saying to find her seems to be a sign that she is not a good omen. It seems like they tricked her, but the reason we have yet to know.
Pilla has no clue who exactly is following her I say go on forward. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 12:18 am Post subject: |
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Lovely atmospherics in this chapter. Very mysterious
I'm undecided as yet. Pilla hasn't done anything wrong - what would she have to be afraid of from the city authorities? Whereas a normal girl, used to the city, would definitely flee, she has very little experience with these concepts of guilt or deceit. If someone is looking for her, she might actually view it as an opportunity rather than a threat.
On the other hand, she is in a pattern of running away now, and her emotional side has been recently awakened. That means fear and curiosity. Fear of what's behind, curiosity about what's ahead. Especially after seeing the statue that looks like her.
I'll wait to be convinced by other reasoning, I think. I'm officially on the fence
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:52 am Post subject: |
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*Admires the Stoat, backlegs kicking out, scrabbling about trying to find some way of sitting on the fence in a comfortable way.*
Great chapter.
I concur that the mystery word is definately some myth, but I'm more worried about the Scarpi than others appear to be.
Yes she has no legal reason to worry, but we know there is some kind of war and their not a friendly bunch. The talk at the end confirms that to me. Escape seems the best option.
However, she doesn't appear to be in any safer surroundings on the street, in fact everyone was staring. Maybe she's safer inside where she at least might get some answers to the statue just like her.
Ack...
*Lowers self onto fence and sips brandy*
Happy Writing.
P.S Cool Scarpi graphic _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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jnmrcs Builder
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 10:04 am Post subject: |
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Very nice chapter.
She didn't do anything wrong but as some said they have some myth about her "specie". She doesn't know if that is good or bad for her. All she saw was one male (like her) in a possible combat against one scarpi. Now it's better for her don't get caught. She must continue and try to find more information there.
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 4:10 pm Post subject: |
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The Scarpis are still a mysterious race we have yet to hear more of. But like Stoat has mentioned, both fear and curiosity is in Pilla.
Btw, Stoat, I love your new avatar. It's so cute. I just to take it and hug it. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 4:38 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know use it as a rug? Actually the animal in her avatar looks more like a ferret, but that is just me. But still it looks cute! *Runs up and steals the book-reading ferret or whatever little furry animal it is* _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Mother Goose Respected Citizen
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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If anyone has read "The White Queen" they will recognize Taremto as the name of the god of the holy mountain, where the Zigots are making their new settlement. But since Pilla doesn't have any knowledge of this, we can't use that information in deciding what she should or would do. Still, it's obvious she's in some sort of temple or shrine. Has she, in her philosophy studies, done any kind of comparative religion course? I suppose not, since she seems to know very little about the "animal" races.
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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I would bet that Pilla's philosophy courses would not want to focus on anything pertaining to the animal races. The Zigots probably just choose to ignore the animals because they consider them inferior when it comes to intelligence. A bad assumption, but when you're smart, you're easily blind to some things when they're not obvious. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Key King
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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That's correct - in Zigot education the animal religions are covered in Animal Research, not Philosophy.
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Shady Stoat Elder
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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Ravenwing wrote: | I don't know use it as a rug? Actually the animal in her avatar looks more like a ferret, but that is just me. But still it looks cute! *Runs up and steals the book-reading ferret or whatever little furry animal it is* |
This is horribly off-topic, but what the hey?
Stoats are brown and white except in winter, when their coats turn white and thick and erminey. The pic could be anything though. Stoat, weasel, ferret... I'm not really an expert
Glad you like it though. Feel free to pick up and cuddle, I hardly bite at all
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 4:17 am Post subject: |
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She's already uneasy, and I think that she would hide out of fear. For however brief and easily dismissed it initially was, Peran's warning about the Scarpi has to play on her mind. Esp. since she's 'done nothing wrong' and yet she's received stares and odd attitudes, and is now presumably pursued. She'll hide, and when she gets the chance she'll most likely try to make her way back to the Zigot merchants and ask them what they know about dealing with these animals, which seems like it would have been the logical thing to do in the first place. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 5:43 am Post subject: |
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Shady Stoat wrote: |
This is horribly off-topic, but what the hey?
Stoats are brown and white except in winter, when their coats turn white and thick and erminey. The pic could be anything though. Stoat, weasel, ferret... I'm not really an expert
Glad you like it though. Feel free to pick up and cuddle, I hardly bite at all |
LordoftheNight started it. Not me. *Tries to look innocent* _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, I was talking about the story. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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It's good thing some people keep their posts on topic. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Chainfire Guest
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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I must agree with fauna, I believe she should go forward and hide since she doesn't know anything about these people other than what Peran told her.
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jess1561 Guest
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 8:01 pm Post subject: heh. |
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New here, but caught up with the story about a week and a half ago...
I think Pilla should keep going in hopes that she might be able to overhear some conversation and figure out who is following her and why... Maybe she can find a dark corner and hide long enough to get some information...
-Jess
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Key King
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:13 pm Post subject: |
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Hey Jess,
Welcome to the City . Thanks for your post.
Like your sig, btw.
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jess1561 Guest
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:44 am Post subject: |
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Thanks, it's from my favorite book ... I stayed up for three hours last night and read Finite Cosmos... Have any suggestions on what I should read next? I'm glad I did a search of rpg games when I was bored, I lke this site ...
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Muaddib Comrade
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 7:49 am Post subject: |
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I loved Bushido, Monster in the Shadows is very interesting-OCish.
Some great new ones by Smee, Shady Stoat(Very humble, excellent writer).
Actually all the main page ones are really good since they won the Storygame of the Month contest.
Also check out Ram and Fish King in the archives.
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Mother Goose Respected Citizen
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 8:12 am Post subject: |
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The White Queen is also a part of the Wheel epic, and has to do with the Scarpi.
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 10:45 am Post subject: |
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So what basically everyone is saying, Jess is that any stories that are on the main page or in the Archives are a great start. But don't forget you can post your own storygame in any of the genre related forums (Fantasy, Experimental/Humor, etc...)
Again, welcome to IF!
And again we're back to being off topic. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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jess1561 Guest
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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Good to be here, will check some of them out asap... ...
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 8:59 pm Post subject: |
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Jess, I think you win the most buttons award at the bottom of your posts.
Sorry, off topic again. I will berate myself. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Key King
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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Poll's up and will run for two days.
Happy voting.
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Muaddib Comrade
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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I chose to hide
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Suneila Guest
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 5:19 am Post subject: |
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I also chose to hide. "Curious but cautious" is the way Pilla seems to react to everything so far.
~sunny
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Aino Guest
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:08 am Post subject: |
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Wonderful chapter and so many big questions, like Where is she? and to the voices in the tunnel, What is she? As to what she should do, maybe she should face her fear.
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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I chose to hide in the tunnel, preferently behind that human statue (it may bring good luck). Anyway, I wanted to congratulate the author (does she check this forum out?) on the good job she's doing and key too, for pulling it all off. Is it giving results, by the way? Oh, and welcome to probably one of the few online storytelling (and the best) websites, jess. When does the next chapter come out? _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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jess1561 Guest
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:40 pm Post subject: |
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chinaren wrote: | Jess, I think you win the most buttons award at the bottom of your posts.
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Lmao... Hey, what can I say? I like to talk to people online... I'm not a messenger wh0re though... I prefer yahoo and only use AIM and MSN to talk to a few people... :hm:
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Key King
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 11:14 am Post subject: |
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D-Lotus wrote: | I chose to hide in the tunnel, preferently behind that human statue (it may bring good luck). Anyway, I wanted to congratulate the author (does she check this forum out?) on the good job she's doing and key too, for pulling it all off. Is it giving results, by the way? Oh, and welcome to probably one of the few online storytelling (and the best) websites, jess. When does the next chapter come out? |
Hey D, glad to see that you're still around
Katie is a little shy with posting, but I think she reads all the comments, and I'm sure she appreciates the compliment. As do I.
New chapters come out every Saturday night, US Pacific time.
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 12:14 pm Post subject: |
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D-Lotus wrote: | I chose to hide in the tunnel, preferently behind that human statue (it may bring good luck). |
Hey look, D has returned! Welcome back, D. Haven't seen you in a while.
I am going for the hide choice. Like Suneila said, caution is one of Pilla's traits, along with a desire for knowledge. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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Key wrote: | D-Lotus wrote: | I chose to hide in the tunnel, preferently behind that human statue (it may bring good luck). Anyway, I wanted to congratulate the author (does she check this forum out?) on the good job she's doing and key too, for pulling it all off. Is it giving results, by the way? Oh, and welcome to probably one of the few online storytelling (and the best) websites, jess. When does the next chapter come out? |
Hey D, glad to see that you're still around
Katie is a little shy with posting, but I think she reads all the comments, and I'm sure she appreciates the compliment. As do I.
New chapters come out every Saturday night, US Pacific time. |
Wow, Saturday, so soon! It pays off to pay off someone to write for you! By the way, have you met Katie, key? Or do you know her only "virtually"? _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Key King
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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Poll's closed. Thanks for the posts and votes.
The option chosen is to hide. New chapter due in two days.
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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Wow, posted in the exact same minute! _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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D. stop cluttering the forum with random babble. You seem to have a habit of doing that.
Anyways, can't wait till the next chapter. I have to wait till Saturday...To keep myself occupied, I will remember that Chinese New Year is coming up! It's the year of the Dog! _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 10:02 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | D (incomplete sentence). (No capitalization) stop cluttering the forum with random babble (look who's talking). You seem to have a habit of doing that (incomplete fragment).
Anyways, can't wait till the next chapter (already stated numerously in previous posts). I have to wait till Saturday (too bad)...To keep myself occupied, I will remember that Chinese New Year is coming up (who cares?)! It's the year of the Dog (this is completely irrevelent to anything we were talking about)! |
_________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | It's the year of the Dog |
You can say that again. Bloody fireworks going off at all hours here. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 6:19 am Post subject: |
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D-Lotus wrote: | Quote: | D (incomplete sentence). (No capitalization) stop cluttering the forum with random babble (look who's talking). You seem to have a habit of doing that (incomplete fragment).
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Darn I mean to put a comma instead of a period. Must have pressed the wrong key. What I meant to say was "D, stop cluttering the forum with random babble." It was meant to be a joke. I already knew I was filling the forum with random babble. Look, I am still doing it just to answer your post.
And to correct the other sentence. "Stop correcting, D. You're being smart-alecky you know."
Poor chinaren. His ears are going to go deaf with all the firecrackers going off outside his window. LOL. Don't worry it won't be for that long. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, I know it was a joke, but mine was a joke upon a joke. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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Well then, it was quite obvious. Key is probably reading this posts, and wondering why the hell are we doing this, when we're just filling this forum with off-topic ramblings. Good to see you're around. At least high school hasn't killed you. Wait till senior year, it's hell. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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I still have three more homework-infested years until then. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 11:05 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | Poor chinaren. His ears are going to go deaf with all the firecrackers going off outside his window. |
What? Speak up. World War 3 is happening outside, so it seems.
_________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Muaddib Comrade
Joined: 31 Dec 2004
Posts: 1765
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 7:52 am Post subject: |
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Quote: | I still have three more homework-infested years until then. |
I thought you were a senior.....but you're just an itty bitty baby.
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 8:29 am Post subject: |
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Poor D. Lowly frosh in high school. Eh, enjoy your first two years in high school because the last two are torture. I would repeat sophmore year in a split second if I could right now.
Totally off topic. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 6:34 pm Post subject: |
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Muaddib wrote: | Quote: | I still have three more homework-infested years until then. |
I thought you were a senior.....but you're just an itty bitty baby. |
Yes...which makes my stories even more impressive...right? _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Key King
Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 2652 Location: The Royal Palace Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 8:15 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter 7 is posted. Locking Chapter 6...
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What do you do? |
Go forward into the room with the Scarpi |
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30% |
[ 4 ] |
Turn back and show yourself to the authorities |
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7% |
[ 1 ] |
Hide as best as you can in the tunnel |
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61% |
[ 8 ] |
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Total Votes : 13 |
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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