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The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever: Chapter Four Goto page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next   (currently a favorite of )    Storygames Home -> -> The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever View previous topic :: View next topic   Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:30 am    Post subject: The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever: Chapter Four "The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever" Chapter Four: In Which Lying, Surprisingly Enough, Gets Our Heroes Nowhere Somewhere, probably not too far from wherever you are now, there is a little corner of the universe, tucked away neatly within the folds of obscurity and shrouded in the mists of mediocrity. It is a dark place, full of horrors beyond your wildest imaginings, though there are a few horrors that are well within your wildest imaginings. Just a few. It isn't hell; it's the pit-stop on the way to hell. Wherever you are, be glad you aren't there... Unless, of course, you're in Orange County, California. But otherwise, be glad you aren't there. But what is this place? you ask. All in good time, my friend. You see, this place is, to put it quite simply, a room. Yes, that's right, it's just your average, garden-variety living room. It contains a sofa, a recliner chair, a television, a coffee table, a rather fetching rug done in a sort of quasi-Mediterranean pattern, and a computer desk off in the corner. Of course, you wouldn't be able to see any of that if you were there (which you are, thankfully, not), since the room is almost completely dark. What, you thought I was speaking figuratively when I said it's a dark place? I'll have none of that pseudo-poetic nonsense, thank you. Anyway, the room is completely devoid of light of any kind. Well, maybe not completely, for at the computer desk eminates a pale blue sort of glow, and were you there, you would see a figure silhouetted against the glow. It is an odd sort of figure, bent as it is over the laptop like Grendel over a chunk of Dane-flesh. Its chin rests on its hand, its eyes gaze listlessly at the screen, its fingers wander aimlessly across the keyboard. Tap. Tap. Tap. "I thought you said you weren't going to resort to any more gimmicks." A stern voice speaks, but it doesn't belong to the figure at the computer. It's the kind of voice reminiscent of rulers across the wrist and middle-school math teachers. "I say a lot of things." "You can't put it off forever, you know." The figure shifts a bit, perhaps uncomfortably? "I lack... inspiration." An odd, sarcastic noise. "Excuses. That's all you are, excuses." A pause. "You'll have to write it eventually. You can't sit there typing the alphabet all day." "Who says I can't?" Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. "L, m, n, o..." "Stop that." "Why are you even here? You aren't real, you know." "I'm real as long as you believe in me." A snort. "Really, you're the last person I'd expect to buy into that nonsense." "Fine. You took me out of there, and I can't go back until you've got on with it. The faster you write, the faster I'm out of here and we're both happy." A sigh. "I suppose you're right." "Now that's the understatement of the century." A pause. "And by the way, stop doing this." "Doing what?" "These ridiculous little self-inserts. They make you look even more conceited than you are." "Me? Conceited? That's preposterous." The figure catches its reflection in the screen and smiles. "Anyway, my readers find it entertaining." "Two of them do. And they're English." "Your point being...?" "They invented steak-and-kidney pie." "You have a point." "And you have a flair for the obvious." "Shut up, I'm writing." --- "Well, that was stupid." Coriander cast Gemma a puzzled glance. "What was stupid?" "Here I was expecting you to run off like a yahoo to your doom, letting me off the hook. Instead you do the sensible thing, and I'm stuck with you." Gemma made a frustrated sound and crossed her arms. The forest creaked ominously over her head. No, sorry, those were the burning timbers from the previous chapter. Who can keep track of these things? But suffice it to say that the J'naeric Forest was the leading world producer of creepy sounds, and the two would-be adventurers had the rare experience of hearing every one of them as they traversed down the narrow path. Creaks, strange cries, German 1 students' mangled pronunciations of the umlaut sound; every frightening noise you can think of was manufactured fresh daily in the J'naeric Forest, and every creepy bump in the night was most likely imported to your house from there. But I digress. "Oh," replied the young questor, but in reality he had heard little of what Gemma had just said. You see, while any normal, well-adjusted human being's mind in this situation would have been focused entirely on the task at hand (which was to somehow get through the woods alive and, if at all possible, in one piece), Coriander's, being neither normal nor all that terribly well-adjusted, was not. There was but one thought that was at that point jangling around within his skull, and it was, 'This is lame. We're never gonna get to any adventure at this rate.' In fact, the first glimmerings of what could possibly be called an idea were beginning to take form in a remote, seldom-used part of his brain. "Hey, watch where you're going!" So lost in thought was Coriander that he had unwittingly stepped on the back of Gemma's heel. "Oh, sorry!" he blurted, blushing furiously. He looked around for something other than Gemma's annoyed glare. "Hey, what's that?" he said, pointing to a sign posted about twenty feet down the path. It was made of metal, of course, for no elf would ever so much as dream of harming a poor, innocent tree. "Hm?" She looked and shrugged. "I don't know, it just looks like a sign to me." "Still, it could be important." Before he knew what he was doing, Coriander began walking towards the sign. The writing upon it was in the elven script and looked like the work of a blind, arthritic chicken. There was an arrow that was pointing to the right. "I think I can read it," he said. Wait, what was he saying? He didn't know a word of elvish. "Oh? Since when did you know how to read elvish?" "It was offered as a foreign language course at my high school." He hadn't even gone to high school. "I'm not really fluent, but I did learn a few useful phrases," he continued, though the words escaping from his mouth were like those of a stranger. What was going on here? Gemma crossed her arms and said, "All right, then, what does it say?" "It says..." He paused and squinted at the sign. "It says, 'Detour'. Gemma narrowed her eyes and stared at Coriander for a long time, in which he tried desperately to look natural. Then she looked at the sign, and back at him, and then back at the sign again. Finally, when he was just beginning to think he couldn't take it anymore, she shrugged and said, "Okay, then. Lead the way." Coriander did a mental jaw-drop. He couldn't believe that she had believed him! Of course, he couldn't believe that he had, well, lied like that. He had never told a lie before in his entire life. Ever. Something strange was definitely afoot. But what was done was done, and adventure was finally within his grasp! With a triumphant grin, he confidently led their way into the woods. The thing about forests, in case you've never visited one, is that they really aren't as dense as one would normally think. The large trees have a tendency to block out most light, which is highly discouraging for smaller trees and plants who just want to make a name for themselves in the world. So, aside from fallen leaves and horrible insects, the forest floor is relatively clear. The thing about fiction, however, is that silly, inconvenient rules like that can be conveniently bent for the sake of the author (and for the enjoyment of the reader, I'm sure). Therefore, let us say that the flora of J'naeric, being magical in nature, grew using magisynthesis (which, unlike it's boring cousin photosynthesis, converts magic into energy). That would mean that, because of the strong magical field surrounding the J'naeric woods, Coriander and Gemma couldn't see the forest for the trees-- literally! "Ow!" Bump, crash, krish. "This is a stupid detour," Gemma complained loudly for all the woods to hear. "The path's so narrow, I can barely see it!" They had been trekking down Coriander's imaginary detour for about an hour, and they had yet to run into anything even remotely resembling adventure. A run-in with an angry squirrel would have been welcome at this point! For being the world's most dangerous woods, Coriander was beginning to think that they were somewhat overrated. "You seemed to like the bathroom we ran into well enough," he said a bit crossly, picking a burr from his shirt. "And so would you, if you were in my position," she snapped back. "Unlike you, I can't relieve myself wherever I like." He shook his head in disbelief. "Who puts a bathroom out in the middle of the woods, anyway?" Gemma shrugged. "The same people who post a metal sign indicating a detour that leads right through the forest. But that's the J'naeric elves for you, crazy lot that they are." Coriander felt himself go starry-eyed at the mention of the immortal beings. "Ah, elves! They seem so great and mysterious, full of ancient wisdom collected throughout a centuries-old life of neverending wonder at the glory of creation!" Gemma snorted. "That's not all they're full of." "Gemma, hush! What if one hears you-- wait, whoa!" he exclaimed, for they had quite suddently stepped out into blinding sunlight. Shielding his eyes, he was able to tell that they were at the edge of a large, circular clearing, that was completely empty... Except, of course, for the two gigantic, hairy spiders. Coriander supposed that he should have had some sort of revelation at that point, some deep and powerful conclusion about the meaning of existance; or perhaps he should have said something noble and heroic, flashing sword held aloft in a symbol of defiant courage against the denizens of darkness; or at the very least he should have seen his life flash before his eyes. But at that moment, the only things registering in his tunneled field of vision were four giant, hairy, venom-dripping fangs. Then, slowly as if in a dream, he turned his head to see Gemma standing beside him, white as bone and wearing an expression of horror that surely mirrored his own. "See?" she murmured in a far-off voice. "I told you so." --- "So this is it, huh?" The elf at the toll booth glanced up from his dog-eared book to the forest entrance not twenty feet away. "Yyup." "And the tower's in there somewhere?" "Just follow the path. There are signs posted everywhere." He looked Cleothestrina up and down quizzically. "Normally I don't care who enters the forest, since hardly anyone ever leaves again," he said. "But why are you going after that princess? You don't seem like the, ahem, princess-saving type." Cleo seemed even more tired than usual; the bags under her eyes were now large enough to carry a couple pounds of hyperbole. "I'm not going to try to save that stupid princess," she replied. "I'm going to try to capture her and take her back to the Witches' Council so they can determine if she's really a boy who's been enchanted to look like a girl." "Oh." He went back to his book, though his eyes weren't moving across the text. "So you work for the Witches' Council?" "'Fraid so." "How is it?" "Dreadful." "Ah." "But I'm thinking about quitting." "Sounds like a plan," he said. "Hey, when I'm not working this joke of a booth, I teach part-time at J'naeric High School. Maybe I could help you get a teaching position there." "So you want me to be both unappreciated and grossly underpaid?" He shrugged. "Misery loves company." Cleo snorted and shook her head. "No thanks, I've got enough of my own." "Company?" "Misery." --- "Gemma?" "Yes, Coriander?" "There are two monster spiders right in front of us, Gemma." "Yes, I noticed that, Coriander." "What are we going to do, Gemma?" She shrugged weakly. "Die, I suppose." "Oh. I see." One of the spiders, the larger of the two (the smaller being only about ten feet long from fang to spinarette), wiggled its fangs in annoyance and said in an offended tone, "Spiders? I should think not!" The smaller one nodded and flicked away a large glob of venom, which landed nearby and began sizzling a hole in the ground. "Quite right, quite right! Of all the absurd ideas!" "Arachnids, yes." "Oh, definitely!" "But spiders? No!" "Most certainly not!" "Spiders! What a crazy notion!" "Preposterous!" "It's quite insulting, to say the least!" "Oh, quite! Very offensive!" "T-then..." Coriander swayed as he felt the ground begin to grow wobbly beneath his feet. "Then, w-what are you?" The larger spider reared backward in apparent shock. "What are we? Did you hear him?" "I heard him, I heard him!" "What a stupid question!" "Never heard a stupider one in my life!" The larger spider seemed to calm down a bit then, and fixed both Coriander and Gemma with a look of utmost patience, blinked its eight eyes, and said, "We are, good sir and madam, Lieders." "He's right, you know!" The smaller spider nodded enthusiastically (which, since spiders don't have necks, required a sort of leg-bouncing motion). "That's what we are!" It was Coriander's turn to blink. "What, like those pants the Germans wear?" The larger spider made a sound of extreme shock and disgust. "No, you silly fool! Those are pronounced lee-der, while Lieder is pronounced lie-der." It shook its head in disgust, which required a sort of leg-swaying motion. "Didn't you ever take a foreign language class in your life?" "Yes, Coriander, didn't you mention something about a foreign language class earlier?" Gemma said in a voice that was frighteningly calm, and Coriander felt her icy gaze upon him. He squirmed nervously. "Yes, well, about that..." He coughed and looked around for something to distract him from that glare. Ah, the horrible, monstrous spiders would do! The larger spider calmed itself again and continued. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted..." "Quite rude, yes!" The smaller spider nodded vigorously. "...We are, in fact, Lieders, and are as different from the common spider," he spat the word as if it were a bad taste in his mouth, "as you can imagine." "Total opposites!" "We, for one, don't get involved in any of that uncivilized web-spinning business." "Wouldn't think of it! Messy, disgusting stuff!" "We, instead, carefully spin an invisible web of lies." "Indeed, lies!" Coriander felt his eyelid twitch. "Wait-- what? You spin a web of what?" "Lies, of course! That's how we lured you here to our humble abode, isn't it?" "Yes, Coriander, isn't it?" came Gemma's dreadfully calm statement. "Gemma, I can explain all that..." "No need, my good lad, no need!" the larger spider interrupted. "I can explain for you. You see, every hundred years we spin a new web of lies. In fact, we had just finished spinning the new one yesterday!" "Oh, imagine that," Gemma growled through clenched teeth. "Yes, it usually takes much longer for anyone to come across it." The spider wiggled its fangs in apparent delight. "Anyway, when a traveler becomes ensnared in our web of lies, his heart's greatest desire overpowers him and causes him to tell a lie, either to himself or to his companions, and he leaves the path." "Quite right, quite right!" "For instance, if his greatest desire is to return home, he convinces himself that the fastest way out of the forest is off the path, in our direction. Or if his desire is to meet a pretty lady," the spider winked four of its eyes at Coriander conspiratorially, "then he tells himself that he hears the sound of a woman in distress coming from the woods. And thus, he comes to be our meal. It's quite an effecient system, really. Much cleaner than all that web business." "A thousand times better!" Coriander felt the world begin to spin. He looked desperately towards Gemma, though he couldn't tell if she was going to be sick or lunge at his throat, or perhaps both. "Sss... so..." he stuttered miserably, "s-so what hap-happens now?" "Why, we inject you with paralyzing toxins and suck out your innards, of course!" the larger spider exclaimed in a surprised tone. "Although this time will be better, since my good friend and I won't have to share a human." "Yes, what an unexpected boon!" The two spiders then began to approach, and Coriander knew he had to do something. He had to draw his sword and run the beasts through, or die trying. He had to make a last stand against these monsters of darkness. He had to say something brave and fight like the true hero he wished to be, he knew he could be. But there's just something about gazing Death in the face that somehow nullifies all those daydreams of heroism, and in the end all he could do was stand there like a marble statue and gape in horror as the spiders crept ever closer. And then they reared up like some hokey slow-motion scene, fangs poised for the kill, and Coriander brought up his arms before his face and waited for the killing blow. And then-- TWAINNG! THWACK! TWAING! THWACK!! Twaing, thwack? Was that the sound a giant spider made when it bit someone? Coriander stood frozen as he was. Was he dead? Had they killed Gemma first, and then they were going to go for him? "Put your hands down, you idiot. They're dead." It was Gemma's voice. It was shaky and sounded like something that had been wrung from a dishcloth, but it was definitely Gemma's. Slowly, Coriander lowered his arms and surveyed the scene before him. The two spiders lay motionless, an arrowshaft protruding from both their heads; their legs were already beginning to curl. And standing over them, a grave expression upon his face, was a J'naeric elf. His hair was long, blond, and partially braided. He wore a green tunic and held a long yew bow. He looked up at them and smiled. "Looks like I got here just in time, eh?" Gemma clasped her hands before her. "You sure did! You saved our lives!" "Oh, it was nothing." "Nothing?!" Gemma gasped in disbelief. "You took out two gigantic spiders that were about to have us for lunch! You're amazing!" She said. "You're incredible!" Coriander said. "You're under arrest," the elf said. --- "See the world, they said! Meet people, they said! Great dental benefits, they said!" Cleo trudged down the path, cursing and muttering to herself. "Great retirement plan, they said!" She kicked a small rock into the trees. "Didn't mention much about kidnapping cross-dressing princes, though, did they?" She kicked up a pile of leaves. "Failed to bring it up at the employment seminar, didn't they? Didn't include it in the promotional video!" Cleo saw a small twig on the ground and, imagining it was Gossamer's obnoxious little fairy face, brought her foot down upon it with a vengeance. Crack! went the twig. And then the woods exploded with elves. --- "Cleothestrina of Niphti, public relations officer of the Witches' Council, you are brought up on charges of assault! How do you plea?" "Assault? What on earth are you talking about?! I didn't assault anyone!" King Timberweald, lord of the J'naeric elves, scowled in rage. "Didn't assault anyone, you say? Then what have you to say to this?" He raised his hand, in which was held two small twigs. The courtroom, which wasn't actually a room but a circular clearing in which some fifty J'naeric elves were seated facing Cleo and the tree in which King Timberweald was sitting, broke out into angry muttering. Cleo blinked in confusion. "What do those two sticks have to do with anything?" "Two sticks? Two sticks?!" Timberweald howled in rage from his leafy perch, and the rest of the elves joined him. Once the din had subsided a bit, the elven lord continued. "These 'two sticks', as you so coldly put it, were once as one!" His face was the very picture of sorrow as he cradled the twigs to his chest. "They were once a whole twig, a twig upon which you trod and broke!" "Um..." Cleo glanced around at the fifty pairs of eyes turned in anger upon her, and gulped. "Sorry?" "Sorry? Sorry?! Do you think a simple apology can undo the damage you've wreaked upon our peaceful forest home?!" Cleo shifted and pulled at the collar of her tunic. "Look, I'm really sorry about your twig, as I'm sure it meant a lot to you. But really, it was only a twig." Timberweald was white now and shaking with fury, and his people looked as if the only thing keeping them from mobbing the stranger in their midst was the fact that their king hadn't yet ordered them to. "Only a twig?! How can you say such a thing?! Are you not an elf, and in tune with the very hearbeat of nature itself?! Are you not one with the leafy green things?! Are you not a fanatic who would sooner slay her own mother than trod upon a single ant?! I could understand such a gross lack of understanding from a human, but never from an elf!" "Um..." The truth was that Cleo had been born and raised in Niphti, and she couldn't keep a potted plant alive for a week, much less know its innermost thoughts and desires. But somehow she didn't think that would go over well with the elven king. "What if I told you I was only half-elven?" The anger immediately drained from Timberweald's face, and the rest of the elves visibly relaxed. "Ah, well that's different, then!" the king said with relief. "I sentence you to death at sunrise tomorrow!" The air rushed from Cleo's lungs as if she had been punched in the stomach. "W-what?!" She gasped. "Death? But I already explained I'm half-human! I couldn't have known!!" "Yes, and the punishment for being half-human is death. Sorry about the twig misunderstanding, though!" Timberweald replied cheerfully as he jumped down from the tree. He and the rest of the elves, chatting among themselves, headed off into the woods, though two burly elves approached Cleo and grabbed her by the arms. "But wait!!" she cried, struggling in vain against her captors. "I'm not really half-human! I was only lying to get out of trou-- Oof!" There was a sharp pain on the back of her head, and then nothing. --- Gemma winced in pain. There was a spider beating her across the head with a stick. Or was it an elf? A spider beating her across the head with an elf? No, there had been an elf... And a struggle, and then something had hit her on the side of the head. Slowly, painfully, she opened her eyes and immediately regretted doing so. "Aaargh... Urgle... Gugh..." Her head was an explosion of pain, and there was a nasty, metallic taste in her mouth. Gripping her head with both hands to stop the spinning, she cautiously opened her eyes again and squinted at her surroundings. She was in a tree. Well, not really in a tree. More like in a metal cage hanging from the largest oak she had ever seen. A little ways away hung another cage that held Coriander, who seemed to be out cold still. "So you're awake now, are you?" slurred a voice from somewhere behind her. "Knocking people unconscious certainly seems to be a favored pastime around these parts." Gemma turned around painfully to see another cage hanging about six or seven feet away. It held a figure that was slumped against the side, a figure that looked strangely familiar... She squinted further. "Cleo? Is that you?" she asked blurrily. "Hey, Gemma. Long time no see." Gemma sighed and slumped against the side of her own cage. "Cleothestrina. I should have known I'd find you hanging around some place like this." Cleo nodded, and then winced. "Makes sense, doesn't it?" "So what are you in for?" "Breaking a twig and claiming to be half-human. You?" Gemma shook her head, which made the world spin again. "I'm not sure, really. I was traveling through the woods when this moron here," she gestured over her shoulder, "told me that we had to take a detour and-- oh wait, that reminds me." She poked her head between the bars of the cage and spied an elf keeping guard below. "Excuse me!" she called. He glanced up with a bored expression. "What is it? Do you need a chamber pot sent up already?" "No, I have a question. There was a metal sign posted about twenty minutes into the path, and it was written in elvish script. Do you by any chance know what it said?" He scratched his chin thoughtfully, grateful for something to consider besides his own boredom. "Did it have an arrow on it?" "Yes, that's the one!" "Then it probably said, 'Bathrooms, this way'." "Ah, I see! Thank you for your time!" she replied, her face bizarrely devoid of expression. "I knew it," she said in a voice that was like the day before a hurricane. "I can't believe I trusted that little weasel. When we get out of this, I'm going to kill him." "You say that, of course, on the assumption that we are getting out of this," Cleo said. "You may not have noticed, but we are a rather long way up." Gemma considered this. "Well, we have to get out somehow. How will I kill that rat, Coriander, otherwise?" She thought for a moment. "Maybe we can, oh I don't know, distract the guard or something." "And then what? Magically teleport our way out of the cages?" "Maybe we can sever the ropes somehow." "And fall crashing to our deaths? That would be better than execution, I suppose." Gemma growled in frustration. "Well, it would certainly be easier if you could offer any ideas instead of just criticizing every one of mine!" "Sorry, but it's hard to be creative when your head is splitting in two." Gemma ignored her and tried to think, which made her head pound even worse. There had to be some way to get out of here... A way that preferrably didn't involve death by gravity, or death at all, really. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Last edited by Thracia Alba on Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:42 am; edited 2 times in total Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:48 am    Post subject: Nother excellent chapter Alby! How about swinging? Maybe they can swing until they hit each other and then... er. Well, I hadn't thought that far ahead. But it's a start! Oh, loved that first bit by the way! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:02 am    Post subject: Thanks, China! Not bad for something that took 50 billion years to write, eh? _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:04 am    Post subject: Quote: Not bad for something that took 50 billion years to write, eh? Sometimes the hardest ones are the best. If you see what I mean. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:18 am    Post subject: CHINA! That was a joy to read Thracia, truly hilarious! :biggrin: Loved: Quote: It is an odd sort of figure, bent as it is over the laptop like Grendel over a chunk of Dane-flesh Bit of a sticky (oooo, sorry) situation they've gotten themselves into. Silly guys... Are elves, like, you know, ever interested in things other than twigs? Could Gemma and Cleo, you know, use their assests to persuade a guard to let them down? Just an idea... If not, then they could pretend that thier cages are straining the branches, and they fear that they might break them, and when the elve's let them out to look, they make a break for it? If I can think of anything else, I shall return! Can't wait for the next chapter Thracia! *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Last edited by Solomon Birch on Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:54 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:31 am    Post subject: Very good chapter - I too loved the first bit, and all the rest. The Lieders were hilarious I have no idea how to get out the cages though. They should just take all their clothes off and enjoy what time they have left. Maybe fashion some kinda rope from the clothes if they must _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 6:12 am    Post subject: Well, if being half-human is a crime punishable by death, there must at one point have been suffiencent numbers of half-elven children for the law to have been intiated. Therefore we can most likely conluced that elves do find humans attractive, and not as some merely lower race. Unless of course, all instances of human-elf mating were through rape, in which case my point is completely invalid. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 9:40 am    Post subject: Ay caramba, Lordy! This is supposed to be a happy story! No, it was nothing like that. The J'naeric elves don't really have a grudge against humans (for instance, being a human is not a punishable offense), but they do have a grudge against half-human elves. They're a crazy lot, those J'naeric elves. And there never were many elf-human hybrids at one time; they just had a meeting one day and decided on a no-nonsense policy. Go figure. And now, without further adieu, I'm off to the mountains! _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 1:04 pm    Post subject: Yowch! A tricky situation and no mistake! Ermm... can we introduce to the elves the concept of tiny weeny germs and microbes in the air? The ones that they're killing simply by breathing in and out so darned much? Maybe we can offer them the solution of 'special mouth and nose filters' if they give us freedom? Or maybe they'll just hyperventilate and fall over unconscious in their efforts not to take the next breath? Or maybe they'll dismiss it conveniently, as so many people do when confronted by upsetting truths. Dunno - I'll be back if anything more exciting comes to mind Back to top Author Key King Joined: 08 Feb 2004 Posts: 2652 Location: The Royal Palace Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:51 pm    Post subject: Great chapter, Thracia! Hmm...a tough situation indeed. I say that their best chance is to bluff their way out - tell the elves that they know where a great treasure is stored, or that someone is out to burn down the forest, or some such thing to get the elves interested in talking to them instead of executing them. Of course, in the end they're going to have to run for it. Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 7:07 pm    Post subject: Hmm, an interesting proposition indeed, Key. That might be very fun to write. It all depends on the poll, of course. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 5:13 am    Post subject: Good one! Again! Tough decision, though. Ummm..... does Cleo have anything useful in her backpack this time? Any spells or potions or whotnot from the council? After all, she is a witch, so she might have something magical, or at least something she might use to bribe the guard? Loved the lieders, and their webs of deception Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:45 am    Post subject: *finishes laughing* Loved the Lieders. But I think I prefered Cleo and the stick case better. Hmm. I know Gemma has no good feelings about Coriander, but could we ask where he is from the guard? Reading it seems he is not in a cage like the two women. And if Cleo had any potions, might I recommend something that burns through their cages. Of course once out, the two of them have a problem. Finding a way out of the whole place. Can't think of anything for that problem though. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 3:32 pm    Post subject: Quote: A little ways away hung another cage that held Coriander, who seemed to be out cold still. Sorry, he's captive just like the other two. It seems that, in my euphoria from overcoming my month-long bout with writer's block, I may have rushed through the chapter somewhat and left out some important details, which is indicative of bad writing. But oh well! 1) Each prisoner (Coriander, Gemma, and Cleothestrina) is currently "hanging out" in a metal cage (since J'naeric elves won't cut down trees for any reason, and they see using fallen branches as a desecration), suspended in the branches of a gigantic oak tree. The cages open at the top, and the cages themselves are suspended with ropes made of synthetic material imported from Niphti (Niphti and the J'naeric elves actually have a pretty good trade going on, which will be explained later). I have drawn a lovely diagram of the situation, which you can see here. 2) Gemma's backpack was taken away when she was arrested. It's currently being held by Burrberry, the head of J'naeric security. 3) No, Cleo is not a witch herself. She just works for the Council. Not everyone who works for the Council is a witch, which will also be explained in the next chapter (hopefully). 4) No, I am not completely insane. Thanks for asking, though. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Last edited by Thracia Alba on Sun May 07, 2006 1:12 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 3:52 pm    Post subject: Ah. Thanks for the clarification, I must have missed that sentence as I was reading. Nice drawing btw. Much better than my attempts at art. I think my area of expertise is writing thus the use of a pencil, well computer nowadays. Yeah. and I thought the Elves would be smart enough to take Cleo's bag. But the question posed assumed she had her bag. Well then I guess the best thing we can do is distract the guard. Since Coriander is still out, Cleo and Gemma could send the guard off to get a healer of sorts or something. Hopeful that will send him away. After that....well I haven't really thought that far ahead. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 4:52 pm    Post subject: Lol, I like the pic. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 7:14 pm    Post subject: Indeed, nice illustration. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author dragon_fire372 Citizen Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Posts: 258 Location: Montana Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:23 pm    Post subject: Do you have any way of starting a fire? Then you could tell the elves you'll burn down the forest unless they agree to free you and grant you safe passage through the forest. If not, then I'd say wait till nightfall, then try to squeeze out of the caves and sneak away. If that's not possible, I f5 everyone else. _________________ The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:27 pm    Post subject: Burning the place is a good idea...if we had any way to start the flame. DF I don't think we're in a cave. We're in metal bar cages, hanging perilously from trees. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 10:03 pm    Post subject: Ravenwing wrote: Yeah. and I thought the Elves would be smart enough to take Cleo's bag. But the question posed assumed she had her bag. Actually, it's my fault for not mentioning it had been taken away. Guess I forgot. Hm... Well, burning would be possible if they had matches or even a tinder box... Or if they had glasses like their illustrious, bespectacled author. But these J'naeric elves are so besotted with their forest, they'd be likely to take any threat seriously. We'll see, I suppose. I'll wait another day or so for any further suggestions, and then it's polling time! :biggrin: _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 10:19 pm    Post subject: *looks at drawing* OMG! They;re strangling the root of that poor tree! Guard! Guard! can't you feel this tree's pain? That horrible synthetic cord you have bound aroung it's root is constricting and restricing the flow of life-giving sap! Quick! You'll have to untie it and just hold onto the ropes for yourself for a while until the tree recovers. No, no, you'll be fine holding three cages, Elves are really strong! ----- OK, just how stupid is the J'naeric guard? And can he fly? *grin* Last edited by Stubby on Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:56 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 10:25 pm    Post subject: That's awesome, Stubbs! That's definitely going on the poll! Edit: A though occurrs to me, though. If the guard is somehow duped into holding up the cages, he will of course not be able to hang on (and will probably be yanked up violently), and the cages will crash to the ground. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:01 am    Post subject: Great stuff Quote: the first glimmerings of what could possibly be called an idea were beginning to take form in a remote, seldom-used part of his brain Has to be my favorite line, as this is how my ideas come to me. I like Stubby's poot root strangling, although I think the elves would be incited to action a lot quicker if you have (or pretend to have) a match and threaten to light the next emission from the dreaded poot root. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:44 am    Post subject: If we had a small piece tinder and a red marker... _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:57 am    Post subject: ethereal_fauna wrote: I like Stubby's poot root . OK, but I never claimed to be able to either type OR spell Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:59 am    Post subject: I was going to comment on that, but I decided that I wouldn't ruin your pride, Stubby. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 5:01 am    Post subject: Stubby wrote: OK, but I never claimed to be able to either type OR spell But some typos are inspirational You should have left it root of that poot tree instead of changing it to poor. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 5:06 am    Post subject: *laughs* Or we could have just added as a new word in the English language. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:28 am    Post subject: You guys crack me up! So is a 'poot' tree a tree that's had too many burritos for lunch? All interesting ideas, indeed. I shall wait until I return from school around 9:45 tonight, upon which time I'll put up the poll. This is going to be my most interesting one yet, I think. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:30 am    Post subject: I'd reckon the poot tree has a high-fiber diet. :mrgreen: _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:37 am    Post subject: ethereal_fauna wrote: I'd reckon the poot tree has a high-fiber diet. :mrgreen: Grrrooooooooooaaaaaaan. All this fun from one little typo! _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:41 am    Post subject: Best not let everyone in the world hear of that. Or else we may have angry elves against us because people keep cutting down the trees for their high-fiber. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:57 am    Post subject: Yeah, we'd have a pointy-eared Jihad on us before you could say "poot". _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:21 am    Post subject: ...or even let slip a poot. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:37 am    Post subject: is that a J'naeric Jihad? and are we sure it is a tree, not a beanstalk? Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 12:24 pm    Post subject: *giggles* ...beanstalk... _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:07 pm    Post subject: *stares at fauna's weird antics* 'Tis a tree I think. Well from the drawing, we are hanging from a tree....like monkeys!! No not really. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:08 pm    Post subject: I didn't suggest it was a beanstalk. I just laughed about it. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:12 pm    Post subject: It was more of a comment in reference to Stubby's post. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:13 pm    Post subject: No, it isn't a beanstalk because there isn't a giant living at the top... But wouldn't that be awesome? Hmmmm... *plots* _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Last edited by Thracia Alba on Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:25 pm; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:22 pm    Post subject: Thracia Alba wrote: beanstock Yay! typoes are contagious! At this rate, pretty soon, between us, we'll have them locked in caves suspended in mid-aim from ropes tied to the roof of a poot beanstock. But coming back to the plot for a moment, you've told us that Cleo isn't a witch, just a rep for the council, and we already know that Coriander is a chocolate teapot, but what about Gemma - if Cleo knows her, could she be a witch? Or for that matter, could she be anythin useful in this situation? Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:29 pm    Post subject: Stubby wrote: Yay! typoes are contagious! Indeed, they are! Gimme a break, though; I just got back from my German class, and the language center of my brain is all tuckered out. Coriander is a chocolate teapot? Did I miss something? Gemma's past (or the more important bits of it) will be explained, hopefully, in the next chapter, though I'm sure everyone's already guessed anyway. I still have a few tricks up my frayed sleeve. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:42 pm    Post subject: Thracia Alba wrote: Coriander is a chocolate teapot? Did I miss something? I'm guessing that Stubby's referring to the phrase: "About as much use as a chocolate teapot" (perhaps... ) Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 10:52 pm    Post subject: Well there's an expression I haven't seen before. It's a goodie, though. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:32 pm    Post subject: Chocolate fireguard is the one I've heard most often, but teapot works for me. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:40 pm    Post subject: ...and chocolate teacup. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:41 pm    Post subject: Yeah, I'd say that sums up Coriander's usefulness pretty accurately. But perhaps he'll prove himself later. Who knows? I do, that's who. Edit: Poll's up, people! _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:57 am    Post subject: Went for the poot root option, despite the typos. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 4:16 am    Post subject: I went for the root of the tree that goes poot. So down fly the cages while up the elf shoots! I know that it's my own idea I toot, But for all of the others I don't give two hoots! Well, actually, some of them were rather good, but I couldn't think of a Better rhyme! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 7:02 am    Post subject: I would go about saving a poor tree, but I think I will just go with my idea. You know to add some competition. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 8:46 am    Post subject: Voted. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 8:54 am    Post subject: It's gotta be the poor roots Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 9:04 am    Post subject: Didn't know we had a lot of tree huggers here. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 10:23 am    Post subject: Get off my lawn, you smelly hippies! You guys are certainly determined to make me work for this, aren't you? If that option wins (which it looks like it will), I'm going to have my work cut out for me in chapter five. But that's what makes all this worth it, I suppose. Or is it the fables? Yes, that must be it. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Last edited by Thracia Alba on Tue Mar 28, 2006 10:25 pm; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 10:53 am    Post subject: *laughs* We make you work hard, so you can give us some good stuff. Of course the fables are useful. We earn a lot. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:22 am    Post subject: Surely it'll be chapter five next? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:56 pm    Post subject: Yes Lordy, 5 comes after 4. Well actually, it's chapter 5 in storygame terms, but I think if this were a novel, it would be like chapter 8 or something around there. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 2:26 pm    Post subject: Voted for poot root purely because it it seems the most likely to get them out of trouble. And cos everyone's raving about it so much... :biggrin: _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 10:31 pm    Post subject: Actually, Rave, lordy's comment was in reference to the fact that I accidentally said I'd have my work cut out for me in chapter four, instead of chapter five. Huh-whoops! Like I said, the language center of my brain was all pooted out last night. Quote: Well actually, it's chapter 5 in storygame terms, but I think if this were a novel, it would be like chapter 8 or something around there. Heh. Funny you should mention that, because last night I went to print out chapters 2-4 of my story for my brother (because he's too lazy to get off his arse to read it off the internet like everyone else). I was expecting maybe ten pages at the most, but instead it printed out, like, fifty. Am I long-winded, or what? _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 12:08 am    Post subject: You and me both, kiddo! I seem to have lost the ability to write short chapters these days. You, it seems, never had the ability in the first place. With chapters this good, though, who cares? Keep it long, keep it funny and keep the poots coming Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 5:01 am    Post subject: Long chapters are so much easier to write than short chapters. We have so much to say, and it's hard to put it in within a few short pages. You should see my NanoWrimo Story, it's about 120 pages typed on Microsoft Word. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Araex Guest Items Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:30 am    Post subject: I quite like Soily's idea about straining the branches, but seeing as how its not in the poll I'll go for the poor root. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:02 pm    Post subject: So do we have to wait long for the fifth chapter, Thracy? I think the tree-huggers are winning. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:03 pm    Post subject: Heh, just a tad dear Ravey! _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:23 pm    Post subject: You mean I have to wait a tad bit until the next chapter? Or are you a tad bit of a tree-hugger, Solie? _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:28 pm    Post subject: Ravenwing wrote: So do we have to wait long for the fifth chapter, Thracy? I think the tree-huggers are winning. Well, I'm going to try my hardest to avoid a repeat of the month-long wait between chapters three and four. I'm putting together some ideas (since the way the poll went was unexpected and completely changed my plans, you darn sneaky Iffians), and I'm going to try to start tonight. Giving up coffee for Lent has definitely taken its toll on my writing, though, since nighttime is the only chance I get to write in peace, and now I get tired around 12 AM. I have a feeling things will really take off after Easter... _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:31 pm    Post subject: Didn't notice the month-long gap. I just got into this story this month. I pity those who do Lent, though I myself would never be able to do it. *pats Thracy* You will a lot better soon enough. Keep strong. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 11:55 pm    Post subject: Ravenwing wrote: You mean I have to wait a tad bit until the next chapter? Or are you a tad bit of a tree-hugger, Solie? *gasp* How dare you? Hug trees? Bleuch! _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:59 am    Post subject: *laughs* That answers my question. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:16 pm    Post subject: I once hugged a tree. After losing a bet. In the ninth grade. When I was fourteen. *hangs head in shame* If anyone knows a good source of caffeine, other than coffee (and if it's tea, it had better be darn good, 'cause I hate that stuff), I would greatly appreciate it if they could let me know about it. Last night I had to go to sleep at 12:30 AM because I just couldn't keep my eyes open. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:27 pm    Post subject: Redbull is good - but isn't half-past midnight a reasonable time to fall asleep? _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:36 pm    Post subject: Not when you're a high school student trying to get into college. I hear most students stay up till 3 in the morning, which is normal. I pulled a near all-nighter once for an English paper, 4 AM. I would say going to sleep half-past midnight is just plain luck for any of us. I usually drink tea, straight black jasmine tea, or Korean ginsing tea. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:43 pm    Post subject: Half-past twelve is usually a good time to sleep, but I live with my family still, and the only time I can write in peace is after everyone else has gone to bed around 10:45. When I wrote chapter four, I was up until 4 AM (and I had to get up at 9, but it was worth it to finally get the stupid thing written). I've never tried Redbull. Does it taste any good? I'll have to look into that and the two teas you mentioned, Rave. Thanks! *passes around grateful cookies* _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:46 pm    Post subject: If you can cope with intense sweetness and like Calpol with a touch of cough medicine - then you'll love Redbull. As it is - I do _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:50 pm    Post subject: There was some other energy drink I heard of that my brother and his friends like since they're all gamers and need it when they have LAN parties...but I can't remember the name of it. *takes a bite of the cookie* Yeah, double chocolate chip! _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:01 pm    Post subject: There are these wierd tablets called 'Foosh' which as much caffeine as a cup of stong coffee. Just like a really strong breathmint, but they work. WoW all-nighters got easier with 'em, though I've finally stopped doing that now. *hangs head in shame* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:20 pm    Post subject: As I don't like tea of coffee, I generally just drink coke. Normally end up going to bed around 5am, and then up again at 8. You get through a lot of coke though. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:05 pm    Post subject: I have tried drinking soda in general for caffeine, and it just doesn't work for me. So I just catnap for half an hour, and am wide awake for several more hours. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 10:21 pm    Post subject: There's caffeine in all sorts of drinks and stuff. My personal favourite is penguin mints, but they can be quite hard to get hold of. For some idea of the relative amounts of caffeine in various things, go take a look at http://www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine/ or, if you still want to know, try http://coffeefaq.com/site/node/25 Have fun. Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 10:45 pm    Post subject: Oooh, apparently it would take about 52 cups of coffee to kill me. Cool. *passes out more grateful cookies* I think I've finally hit upon a solution: Vernor's ginger soda. I don't think it contains any caffeiney goodness, but it does keep me awake somehow. Thanks for all the help! I almost bought some Redbull at the store tonight, but I chickened out. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 4:36 am    Post subject: I don't have much of taste for coffee personally. It smells good sometimes. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:48 pm    Post subject: Hey! Nice place you have here! Did you draw the picture yourself? _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:52 pm    Post subject: Sweet place you have here, Thracy. May you live long and write wonderful chapters for all of us! *raises a glass* _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:57 pm    Post subject: Love your piccie, Thrace! Congrats and welcome to your new hovel... *ahem*... I mean, home Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:07 pm    Post subject: Thanks, everyone (meaning China, Stoaty, and Rave). What a lovely hovel-warming! Cake, anyone? Yes, I did draw the pic, though I had to dink with it in Photoshop and MS Paint (that's kind of like saying you're going to a tea-party with the Pope and Marilyn Manson, isn't it?) to upgrade it from the original, colored-pencil affair with shaky inking. I've actually done sketches of a few of the characters, and hope to have them up as soon as I have access to a school scanner (my own being, alas, done broke). Also, I'm going to get back to work on chapter 5 tonight, now that the craziness in my life has settled down a tad. First to get this place in order, though! _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:09 pm    Post subject: Cool! A real artist! Not like me, who just purloins pictures other people do. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:42 pm    Post subject: ooh - an artist *looks impressed* _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:09 am    Post subject: Awww. *blush* Not really an artist, though. More like a doodler. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:11 am    Post subject: Pretty darned good doodles though. Let's hope you include the other characters in future chapters Back to top Author Stubby Guest Items Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:21 am    Post subject: OK, so you can draw _and_ write. Now I'm really jealous! Congrats on the new luxury semi-detached hovel *grin* - It was well deserved! Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 1:03 am    Post subject: Yeah, swanky pad Thrace, doodles n' all. Time to get it dirty, heh heh heh... Looking forward to Chapter Number Five! :biggrin: *holds impressed breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Araex Guest Items Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:21 am    Post subject: If it's that just a doodle, I'd love to see some serious stuff. And I can't wait for the next chapter. Back to top Author Sorrow_A Guest Items Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 7:18 am    Post subject: Personally, my favorite energy drink is Cuervo Black with soda. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:44 am    Post subject: I wish I could draw also.But I can't even make a person look realistic. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author dragon_fire372 Citizen Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Posts: 258 Location: Montana Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:53 am    Post subject: Hey Thracia, congrats on your new place! I'm at school (heehee, probably should be working, but oh well) so that's all I can say for now. Looking forward to the next chapter! (and doodle ) _________________ The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing ~ Edmund Burke Sans Dieu Rien Without God, Nothing Visions of Shadow - 2nd part of Uncertain Quests! Chapter Two Dreamwalker - Relocated to Linear Lane Sixth Chapter Linear Story Nightrobber Now Complete! Back to top Author Sorrow_A Guest Items Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 4:54 pm    Post subject: Oh, I didn't notice the whole intelligent conversation that was going on just upwind of my post. Nevermind, I had some free time in Industrial Tech, and got on IF for half a second, so I was sort of distracted because the teacher was walking my way. In other news. Congratz on the new place. By the way, for the past three months the story that I voted on always won, so consider it a good luck charm if I vote for your story in SGOTM. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 5:01 pm    Post subject: Careful, you could be jinxing yourself at the same time. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author OldJoe Citizen Joined: 23 Oct 2005 Posts: 125 Location: On mah steed. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 4:28 am    Post subject: Ah reckon this is a mighty fine story Ms. Alba, and ah's glad yer took the prize. Now, time fer another round ah's thinking. _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk. Back to top Author Sorrow_A Guest Items Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 5:50 pm    Post subject: Hey OldJoe, I haven't seen you around the city before, but I don't generally step outside my shack, so I may just have missed you. Repeatedly. Gasp. You're right. In that case, Rave, consider it a bad luck charm if I vote for your story in SGOTM. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 8:33 pm    Post subject: LOL. Do what you wish. I lost most of optimisim through a series of bad luck in life. A little more is not going to kill me. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:35 pm    Post subject: Thank ya kindly, OldJoe! It's mighty fine ta meet 'ya! Sorry for the delay, everyone. I always thought vacations were supposed to be less demanding, but then what do I know? Anyway, chapter... what is it, five? It should be up soon. Very soon. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:42 pm    Post subject: Excellent. I will just lurk until then. *lurks* _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:24 am    Post subject: Can't wait! :biggrin: *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:16 am    Post subject: Chapter...up soon? *usual stool designated for when waiting for a new chapter appears* _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 11:10 am    Post subject: Now that I'm finaly caught up... *Joins everyone else in waiting* Back to top Author OldJoe Citizen Joined: 23 Oct 2005 Posts: 125 Location: On mah steed. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 4:14 pm    Post subject: Ahv been around Sorrow, just don't post as much as yer yung un's. _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk. Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:17 pm    Post subject: Okay, I feel I should explain myself. I'm more than a little embarrassed to admit that I haven't even ben online, much less on IF, much at all for the past week. It's ironic that Easter Break, which I thought would give me ample time for writing and IFfing, actually turned out to be more busy and time-demanding than the whole of March and April (so far, and not including the past week) put together. I've had so much to do between studying for midterms, typing up class assignments, cleaning my abysmally messy room, and preparing for Easter, that I've had little time for leisurely activities such as getting the friggin' fifth chapter finally typed out. As Blackbeard would eloquently put it, yargh. Enough of my excuses, though. Easter is here at last, I can drink my caffeine-laced miracle elixer once more, and things are finally slowing down a bit. I plan to continue writing tonight, if at all possible. HAPPY EASTER!!! _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Last edited by Thracia Alba on Sun Apr 16, 2006 3:10 pm; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 2:06 pm    Post subject: Hey, don't worry Thracia! It's so good that we don't mind waiting! The RL's is nasty, and it's going to be baring down on me soon enough. Bloody A2's... We will all be waiting here, our breath held (alright, that might just be me) and our eyes melting as we stare continually at the screen. But don't let that put any pressure on you. And Happy Easter to you too! *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 3:13 pm    Post subject: Aww, thanks, Soily! Though you might want to see a doctor about those eyes... _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 3:21 pm    Post subject: Yes, probably should. But I'm too busy waiting for you. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 8:33 pm    Post subject: You asked a question about re-ordering threads in the Chapter 1 thread. I remember the only way I kept my most recent stuff up at the top, was by making sure that all my old chapters were locked as soon as I had my next chapter up. So basically just keep your most recent stuff open. Everything else locked. Otherwise new posts will move the thread to the top of the pile. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 11:19 pm    Post subject: Looking forward to it Alby! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 1:06 am    Post subject: Thanks! I'm attempting to get as much written tonight as possible (though it's hard when I'm so tempted to hang around this joint). And it doesn't help that I have suuuuch a craving for pasta right now. I'm afraid it's going to interfere with my writing. I can see it now... Quote: "Any ideas yet?" Cleo asked, though out of general habit more than anything. "No, not yet..." said Gemma, but her thoughts had taken a sudden turn. "You know, I could kill a penne with meat sauce right now." "You know, I was thinking the same thing. Add a little red wine to the sauce..." "It would be heavenly. I could even go for some angel hair with alfredo." They fell silent, each lost in her own noodly reverie. At length Gemma glanced down at the guard, who had become a giant rotini with pesto. Though I can't seem to write a thing before 11 PM, I can draw any part of the day. Annoying Art 5B classes with idiotic professors are especially handy for this, so I got some pretty decent character sketches done today, colored and everything. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to scan them, but here is a larger version of the thumbnail image for this story. I recolored it in MS Paint, but the others are just plain ol' colored pencil. I'll try to get them up tomorrow. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 1:36 am    Post subject: It looks darned good to me. Better than my rather futile attempts at drawing anyway. Now, set your clock forward and start writing. (Pot/Kettle/Black). _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 1:42 am    Post subject: Yes, master! Right away, master! *three full bows and a half-bow* _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:12 am    Post subject: Love the sketch As far as re-ording the threads... Unlock chapter 2 -> post a comment -> lock it Unlock chapter 3 -> post a comment -> lock it Post a comment in chapter 4. That will give you this: The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever: Chapter Four The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever: Chapter Three The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever: Chapter Two The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever: Chapter One The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever: Chapter One Comments Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 5:27 am    Post subject: PLus it will give you fables and post count - which is always good. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 9:31 am    Post subject: Of course you get more fables if you just post up a new chapter....hint hint. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 10:32 am    Post subject: Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more what? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 2:18 pm    Post subject: Thanks, Ingro! I was trying to re-order everything last night, but I got that stupid Invalid_session message again. Frickin' dial-up, I swear. I don't seem to have that trouble on a school computer, though, so I'll be able to do that right now. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 2:21 pm    Post subject: Bada-bing! We are officially re-ordered! _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 5:23 pm    Post subject: _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 3:46 am    Post subject: Yeah. Does that mean we get a new chapter soon? _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Ovrlndnsea Guest Items Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:34 am    Post subject: I don't think that it does. Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 11:35 am    Post subject: But at least the fourm looks nice *patiently waits for the next chapter* Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:01 pm    Post subject: *raspberry* Oh ye of little faith. I stayed up 'til 5 AM getting most of the chapter written, and I had to get up at 10, too. The trick was, I had to write it in this ancient stuff called "paper". Don't know why that helped with my writer's block, but who am I took punch a gift horse in the face? Of course, now I'm going to have to type the whole thing out in my word processor after I've finished writing it, but it's worth the effort just to get the freaking thing written. So there. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:06 pm    Post subject: Well done The Alba. I will sit here drooling on my keyboard until you post. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:08 pm    Post subject: I certainly hope you've got a bottle of 409 or Lysol for that keyboard. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:11 pm    Post subject: Alright! Good luck typing it up Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:13 pm    Post subject: It's all right. My fingers will probably cramp up and fall off, leaving me a broken shell of a human being with stumps for hands and forcing me to type with my nose... But so long as you guys get your entertainment, what does it matter? *strikes melodramatic pose* _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:17 pm    Post subject: Yep, that's the spirit. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 7:20 pm    Post subject: Hehe. Toes are probably faster than nose. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:32 pm    Post subject: I was going to point that out. Of course what would be even cooler would be if she could use both feet when typing. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:13 pm    Post subject: Rave, this is the second time today that you've caused me to have a disturbing mental image. Get outta my head!! _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:41 pm    Post subject: you guys are mad. 5am Thracia - now that's dedication _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:42 pm    Post subject: Eh, I'm a night owl anyway. I would have finished the darn thing if I could have slept in later. I don't have to be anywhere until 3:45 tomorrow, though... _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 11:02 am    Post subject: Thracia Alba wrote: Rave, this is the second time today that you've caused me to have a disturbing mental image. Get outta my head!! LOL. I didn't mean to at all. Besides it was China who first brought up the idea that toes are better for typing with than the nose. Blame him. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 11:52 am    Post subject: I expect it depends how long your toes are. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 12:06 pm    Post subject: China should be blamed for everything. Outsourcing, the manufacture of cheap products, that horrible spicy cabbage that I hate... The list goes on and on! BTW... I should be able to get chapter five up by tonight or tomorrow, at the very latest. Whee! _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 12:12 pm    Post subject: *does the Stoat victory-dance* Woo! Go Thracia! Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 12:17 pm    Post subject: Whoa, is that the same crazy, flippy dance that a weasel does to hypnotize a rabbit so as to make it easier prey? 'Cause I saw that on Discovery Channel once, and it was awesome. But you wouldn't try to lure me into a false sense of security so you could go for my jugular! Ha ha. Ha. *watches* Oooo... *is hypnotized* _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:04 pm    Post subject: *snaps fingers* Ok looks like your un-hyponized so you can get typing again *races around the office with joy* Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:28 pm    Post subject: You do a happy dance for someone and look at the thanks you get! *catches Thracia's eye again and starts murmuring the 'act like a chicken' mantra* Back to top Author Ovrlndnsea Guest Items Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:11 pm    Post subject: *strengthens the power of the mutter* Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:22 pm    Post subject: Don't be ricluckulous. I mean ridiculous! What a stupid thing for you to cock-a-doodle-do. I mean do! Ba-gakk! _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 9:40 pm    Post subject: And there I was thinking it was Stoat's pee-pee dance _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Last edited by Smee on Fri Apr 21, 2006 1:49 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 12:28 am    Post subject: LMAO! Damn, I missed all the fun.... Thracia is a chicken, Stoat is doing her [in]famous pee-pee dance and I sit here writing about Toyata and how soft and silky Stalin's moustache is. Ah well. *poketh* :biggrin: *runs around giggling like a schoolgirl* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 12:44 am    Post subject: You've gone back to the classic look I see Alba, in your av I mean. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 12:58 am    Post subject: I really like that AV. If nothing else I can stop picturing you as a bearded lady at least. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author OldJoe Citizen Joined: 23 Oct 2005 Posts: 125 Location: On mah steed. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:52 am    Post subject: Ah don't reckon ah follow this chicken dance malarky, but ahm still awaiting that new chapter Ms.Alba. Yup. _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 3:11 pm    Post subject: Darn, I missed all the fun here. We have a menagerie of people it would seem. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:06 pm    Post subject: aren't they for birds? Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:07 pm    Post subject: Well, I can fly... _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 9:12 pm    Post subject: chinaren wrote: You've gone back to the classic look I see Alba, in your av I mean. Why, thank you! Yes, I'll miss seeing my beloved Rincewind (damn, I wish he was real) every time I post, but I thought the Roman lady nibbling thoughtfully on her stylus was more fitting. Or something. Anyway, I was an irresponsible person and went out to the movies with my dear momma, cutting out some of my mindless typing time. Forgive me! But now I'm back to said mindless typing, and moving along nicely. Remind me to never. Write. My. Chapter. On. Paper. Again. *nurses bleeding fingertips* Edit: Soily, you were picturing me as WHAT?! _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:02 am    Post subject: A bearded lady - I'm guessing it was because of the female user with a male avatar. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:05 am    Post subject: Yeah, well, that's racist. I'm offended. Yarg, and such. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:13 am    Post subject: Sexist surely? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:26 am    Post subject: I'm sorry if I caused any offence! I didn't mean to! And I just meant.... oh all right, I'll be quiet now.. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 10:26 am    Post subject: Wow, I finally caught up! Hilarious story; I'm joining the waiting audience for chapter five! I suppose it took sheets and sheets of paper, so a lot to type? Back to top Author Thracia Alba Citizen Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 474 Location: The Golden State Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 7:37 pm    Post subject: Thanks, Mother Goose! Yes, it took quite a bit of paper. *counts* Twenty-eight pages, as a matter of fact. Of course, I do have big, sloppy handwriting, so it would have been a lot anyway. Chapter five is my longest chapter yet, though. I had a lot to fit in before the DP. And Soily, I was just joking with you. It takes a lot to get me offended, and I'm certainly not into all that feminazi bull-pockey. I just like to have fun every now and then. Anyway, I FINALLY finished typing up that monster of a chapter, so I'll put it up in a sec. Huzzah! *does a weak little dance* Whee. _________________ The Greatest Fantasy Story Ever (Humor/Experimental) -- Chapter seven now up! Mage Mountain II (Fantasy) -- Chapter 4: Zombies and Mages and Jerks, Oh My! 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