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Worms of the Wasteland, Ch. 12: Final Execution
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 11:06 am    Post subject: Worms of the Wasteland, Ch. 12: Final Execution Reply with quote

Introduction

Bardo was the worst. Of all the people I could have been partnered with, I would have picked anyone but him. It was difficult watching the vast empty wasteland day after day when a lush green paradise lay only a few yards behind you. It was insufferable with such a foolish, annoying, smelly, ignorant, lazy, disloyal, conniving, clumsy, greedy shirker like Bardo as a companion. Regardless of which rotation it was supposed to be, he was only ever awake at night, and at night he spent all of his time keeping me awake asking stupid questions and telling bad jokes; consuming most of our food and water; dropping different things out of the tower; and often I would wake up in the morning and find he had wandered off. The one useful thing he ever tried to do was teach himself how to read, but listening to him try to read out loud was possibly the worst thing of all. I can't count the hours I spent trying to tell myself not to burn his book while he snored through the day.

It was my duty to watch the wastes from our tower and to be vigilant regardless of the hardships. The kingdom depended on us to uphold our responsibilities completely on our own. But I am ashamed to admit I did things that were forbidden. Sometimes I would leave the tower unmanned to enjoy the splendor of the forest, if only to regain my sanity for a brief while. Sometimes I would spend hours blissfully napping beside a cool stream with my belly full of fruit, and I could restore my strength enough to put up with Bardo for one more week. It was during one of these moments of peace that the crisis began, and I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:03 pm    Post subject: Chapter One: One Moment of Negligence Reply with quote

Chapter One: One Moment of Negligence

As much as I hated Bardo, I had to admit he was handy with rope. I found a hammock he made in the forest, and I enjoyed the dappled sunlight on my face and arms and the slight swinging that came from the wind through the trees. I could have slept another hour, but I awoke because of an unusually hot breeze. There were little grains of sand scattered on me and throughout the area. I came out of my daze and started to recognize what was happening. I could not see the tower any more, and in its place there was a line of smoke. I fell over myself getting out of the hammock and forgot to pick up my shoes as I ran to see the horror I knew was waiting for me. I broke through the trees and there it was.

The collapsed tower burned furiously. I rushed into the open to try to find Bardo before I realized there were enormous tracks all around. The Great Worms had come at last. I looked around fearfully, for this worm would surely kill me if it came near, but the worm had already passed. However, in the distance I saw large dust clouds and the heads of the worms that would follow the one that destroyed my tower. There would not be much time for any of us.

I knew that if Bardo was in the wreckage he must be dead, but I had to check. The flames leaping from between the stones were still as hot as dragon fire, and I could not even get close. Nonetheless, I could see Bardo's hand amongst the wreckage. I had no doubt he died before he even knew what was happening. Surely he didn't have time to raise the alarm either and now it was too late.

I felt the weight of the kingdom fall upon me at that moment. It was everything I could do to pull myself away. The Great Worm burned a black trail through the beautiful green landscape. If this landscape were a painting, it would have been a masterpiece, but now with the horrible black streak through it, it was ruined. This was only the beginning of the devastation. Already the wastelands were reclaiming the green paradise. The leaves and grasses wilted and the sand inched its way across the dark brown soil, swallowing it. The worm itself would work even more quickly. In a single day it could kill thousands of people.

I may have failed to raise the alarm when it was my charge to watch vigilantly, but I still lived. The worm had only a short head start and there was still time to prevent a massacre. I ran and found the horses. They were both spooked and fighting to escape but fortunately they were hobbled for this very reason. I would go over land and raise the alarm and let nothing stop me.

I had three directions to choose from:

    I could ride out of my way to the next watchtower and raise the alarm, if they hadn't already.
    I could try to stay ahead of the worm and warn anyone on my path to seek shelter.
    Or I could ride directly to Founder's Fortress, where our military forces were garrisoned.


Each choice had its strengths and weaknesses. The watchtower was closer than the nearest village, and the village much closer than the fortress. If I went to the watchtower, I may raise the alarm sooner and alert the kingdom faster, but the village would be destroyed by then and I'd be that much farther from the fortress where I could help defend the kingdom. If I stayed with the worm, I might succumb to it before warning anyone, but if I survived, the villagers would hopefully be saved and I could get their help. The safest route for me was also the longest. Ultimately Founder's Fortress was our best hope of salvation. There were mighty warriors there that could slay the worms and return our kingdom to peace, but I did not wish to imagine the horrors that would begin well before they arrived.

I had little time for decisions. I had to go immediately.

DP: Which direction? The options for this decision will be provided without suggestions, but that may change in the future.


Last edited by Lebrenth on Sat Aug 20, 2011 10:56 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 4:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Liking this, Lebby! Smile


I've voted for the watchtower, despite the likely loss of the village and it's people. As harsh as it may seem, I guess that sacrifices must be made for the greater good. I dismissed the village route immediately actually, and was choosing between the other two. I figured that whichever one I chose, the village would be lost anyway. But I decided on the watchtower, to get the word out to everyone, as at least that way we stand the most chance of making sure that more others might be saved.

And I also see that it's the popular choice. Wink


Looking forward to chapter 2, Lebs!

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it! Especially since it has great worms like in Dune. But no user suggestions for the DP?

Anyways, I chose to go straight to the fortress and warn the army.
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muaddib wrote:
I like it! Especially since it has great worms like in Dune. But no user suggestions for the DP?


Ah yes, it makes sense you would like that, Muaddib. It's been a while since you've been in one of my SG's and I'm happy to see you! Don't worry, my DP's usually take suggestions, I just felt this one could use a push. In fact, I'm planning on moving into Meta DP's in the next one to try it out.

Tikanni, nice to see you too. Thanks for the encouragement. I'm surprised to see so many votes already!

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ì voted for the distant founders fortress, on the assumption that another tower would signal.

It's a bit of a guess though, as we don't know what they were supposed to do if they saw a worm. I assume they'd have to alert someone, in which case the next tower may do that. If not, get a message to whomever they were supposed to.

Nice start Lebs. Good to see another Speed SGame.

As mod here, I'll be keeping a close eye on your chapter timing! Very Happy
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I appreciate that it was to the point. I'm not saying every story has to be straightforward, direct, but sometime it's refreshing to read a story that doesn't beat around the bush.

Guy abandons post,
Worms come in,
Worms bad,
Where to go to stop them!?

It has an air of finality to it. Keep up the good work and I'm looking forward to a speed read!

PS. I voted for the watchtower. I figured that was the quickest, safest route that would save the most lives. He can join up with the people there as well as spread the words around as quickly as possible.
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll admit, the pre-chosen DP is a bit unusual- but then, so are speed storygames. I appreciated the different approach. You don't have to wait for the comments to slowly pour in as people start to suggest the obvious options- you can go straight to the poll. What you lose in out-from-left-field creative options you make up for in speed and simplicity.

I'm a little curious what he could have done if he had been there to sound the alarm... the main army is far away, and it seems the worms are capable of doing a lot of desertification very quickly. Still, heading to the village seems to me like it's little more than "Hey guys, you're all about to die", and heading to the main army is more or less "Hey guys, there's a bunch of destruction on the forest's edge. I would have told you sooner, but I was slacking and felt the need to tell you in person." If nothing else, if/when he meets up with the main army later, he can meet up with them halfway, instead of going all the way to them and then back to the threat.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 1:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poll Results:

Which direction does the hero go?
The nearest watchtower [ 4 ]
The nearest village on the worm's path [ 0 ]
The distant Founder's Fortress [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 6
Who Voted: Chinaren, Crunchyfrog, Muaddib, Shillelagh, Tavanesh, Tikanni Corazon

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 2:24 pm    Post subject: Chapter Two: Wasteland Sand Reply with quote

Chapter Two: Wasteland Sand

A wall of furious sand swept westward toward me as I kicked my horse to run faster. I had seen larger sandstorms before, but this was more terrifying because it answered to the Great Worms. We traveled the outskirts of paradise for some protection from the heat and stinging wind, but it offered little protection now. The magic of our land was weakened by the presence of the worms. Until they were gone, we would slowly lose everything.

I covered my face with a handkerchief before the sandstorm turned day to night. The horses, which had been kept in the gentle climate of the green paradise their whole lives, struggled with the harsh wasteland air and were frightened even more by the blinding sand. I just pushed them harder and watched out ahead for the trees that appeared out of nowhere, stripped of their leaves and snapping their branches against the storm.

Suddenly, the horse fell out from underneath me and I was thrown from the saddle when we somehow managed to overlook an entire pond. At first it was nothing more than startling and cold, as the water cushioned my fall, but after pulling the horses out and getting up to go again, I realized I had completely lost my sense of direction. Even our own footprints were lost, which would have at least told me which way we had come from. I could not recognize any of the landscape, and in fact, even if the tower were 40 feet ahead of me, I could not see it.

Surely the tower had to be close, but if I were to find it, I would have to go directly to it without seeing it from any distance. As I continued, using the direction of the wind as my only gauge, something came dimly into view. I knew it could be just about anything. I wouldn't know what it was until it was close enough to spit on.

DP: What appears out of the sand?


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm always so impressed with chapters that pack loads into such a short length. This is one such chapter, and I very much enjoyed it! Smile


Okay, what could it be?... I suppose one of the most exciting options would be if it was a worm, but wouldn't that just be too cruel? I'm going to say that its a small mass of people from an already devestated village, who are heading to the same place we are. The shape itself could be some kind of shelter, where we could go inside to try and get our bearings, and possibly ask if the people inside know the right direction in which to go, so that we at least have a vague heading when we set out again.


Looking forward to part 3 Lebs!

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Tikanni, this is a great example of what a Speed SG chapter should look like. I also appreciate the lack of an information dump. I've always found that the best SGs follow only a single character's movements.

As for the DP, I suggest that a ancient, previously lost but now uncovered tower appears out of the sands. It has fantastical carvings and images on its facade which have remained intact despite the winds and the sand.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 5:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good one!

I say it's an old building, where bandits (or some other hostile) is sheltering.

Can't make life too easy now can we?
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm, well, if I were to choose something different than everyone else so far-

Maybe it's a sand creature that has a parasitic relationship to the worms. It follows them around because it needs the sand to survive (and therefore can not enter the human territories until the worms clear a path) and feeds off of the left over wreckage further reducing the landscape into a desolate wasteland. It could want the horse as nourishment?
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This ought to be really interesting. Unless I'm forgetting something, I think this is the very first Meta DP SG I've ever attempted in the years I've been in the city.... I suppose I can't let the suggestion phase go on too long, so maybe another day and then we're going to vote.... Wow.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:45 pm    Post subject: Now Polling Reply with quote

Poll beginning now and ending soon.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This impresses me on a great many levels, not the least of which being the way you're able to keep the chapters so short yet fulfilling!

Loving it so far and looking forward to more. The whole feel of playing the guy that fell asleep on the job... great premise!
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I actually ended up voting for a den of thieves. I want an action sequence!
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went for the refugees. Who says I don't have a heart?
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 8:15 am    Post subject: DP closed Reply with quote

DP Results:

What appears out of the sand?
a great worm [ 0 ]
helpful refugees [ 3 ]
an ancient lost tower [ 1 ]
a den of thieves [ 2 ]
a hungry wasteland parasite [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 7
Who Voted: Chinaren, LordoftheNight, Muaddib, Shillelagh, Tavanesh, Thunderbird, Tikanni Corazon

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:45 am    Post subject: Chapter 3: Strange Refugees Reply with quote

Chapter 3: Strange Refugees

I was greatly relieved to see the shape I approached was not a great worm, but I don’t blame myself for being deceived because what I saw was remarkably worm-like. It seemed to be a very long and winding tent. I could see some light through tears in the material, but I could not make out anything within. I approached the tent as quickly as I could with the horses fighting me the whole way. They didn’t like the look, or maybe the smell, of the tent one bit. It stank like fish guts, not that it made any difference to me at the time, and though it was very strange, I was not afraid.

When I was convinced that my eyes weren’t deceiving me, I realized the tent was moving like a worm too. I was very close to it, and I could see the shoes in a few places, moving steadily. The tent was being carried.

“Hello?” I spoke.

“Hello!” someone replied, and he spoke other words too, but I could not understand him. The side of the tent was lifted before me, and I saw several wastelanders holding up the tent and beckoning me in urgently. It took several minutes and 50 yards of pulling and hurrying to get inside. “Welcome, welcome!”

“What is this?”

The wastelander did not speak my language, save a few words. The next thing he said made no sense to me, and I’m certain he couldn’t understand what I tried to say. The horses were a little calmer out of the storm but they were still frightened. The swarthy man that welcomed me was now much farther ahead, and the others were passing by quickly, saying “welcome” in a thick accent or other words I didn’t recognize at all.

From my tower, sometimes I would see the wastelanders at a distance and I heard they could be traded with, but for some reason they preferred the wasteland to the green paradise, which I never understood. What were they doing here now in this strange thing?

Not all of these people carried the tent, many walked briskly along with it. They found it difficult to get around me and my two horses. Two of them, a man and woman, took the reins from me before I realized what they were doing. They urged me forward with them, but the horses were still fighting us. The woman handed the man the reins and unwrapped the cloth around her neck. She blindfolded the horse, but had to hold the wrap there. Another stranger came forward and helped blindfold the other horse. This worked well, actually. The horses stopped fighting and kept pace, even when the direction we went turned fairly sharply.

I had no idea what was happening. Some of the people seemed very happy while others were crying. They talked to each other in their own tongue and looked and pointed at me as the subject of the conversation. As good as it was to be out of the storm, this would not help me warn the kingdom, so I tried to leave, but they held me back and refused to give back the horses. I would have drawn my knife perhaps, or become more insistent myself, but the way they refused me – the looks on their faces of sincere helpfulness – prevented me from trying too hard.

It was not long before someone came who could speak my language. She was a woman with green eyes and something different about her features from the other wastelanders. She spoke very well, without an accent at all, which immediately surprised me.

“You are welcome here. No one will hurt you or try to take your things, just try to keep up with us. My name is Mina.”

“I’m Tallus,” I replied, still keeping pace with the others as we trampled the grass buried under a layer of sand.

“It’s nice to meet you. Where are you from?” Mina said.

“Elden is where my home is, but I have spent the last few months at the Ammon Watchtower.”

“So this is the green paradise?”

“Yes, what’s left of it. The worms are destroying everything.... What is this thing?”

Mina explained that the tent was made from the hide of a great worm, and that its purpose was to hide them from the worms while they saved people who survived the attacks. At some point, everyone in this worm tent was a refugee, but now it was a nomadic home. They followed the worms and stopped briefly at destroyed villages to help people and to get supplies (and she stated very clearly that they took nothing by force). She told me that I could leave any time I liked, but they would be very glad if I stayed with them for a while. The horses could be very useful and they could use someone to help guide them.

“Thank you,” I replied, “but my first priority is to warn the kingdom that the worms have come. I need to get to another watchtower as quickly as possible.”

“Then perhaps we can help you. If you give us your horses, we will give you a hlathlu.”

“What’s a hlathlu?”

DP: What’s a hlathlu?
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 1:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm to say that a hlathlu is some sort of wiry ostrich-like bird in shape and stature, except that it is actually more of a lizard so that it can survive out in the desert. It is a tame creature which can be ridden just like a horse- and is actually a bit faster- but since it is so thin and fragile, it can't be used to pull anything heavy. He gets a riding mount, and they get something durable to pull their worm-wagons or whatever.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 8:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another great chapter! I love the little tidbits of world-building being incorporated in every chapter.

I say a hlathlu is a horse-sized, domesticated eagle.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pfah, everyone knows a Hlathlu is a large hairy spider that can be saddled like a horse. It's very fast over short distances, but then tends to want to feed on something living.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 9:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find it a bit interesting that we're only suggesting creatures for this DP. So, If have two other ideas.

A hlathlu is a magic belt which allows you to run very, very fast for a short period of time. We'll be able to reach the fortress in no time!

A hlathlu is a crown which lets you send an astral projection of yourself to any location you've ever been before- we can use this to warn the kingdom while still staying with these nomads.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:26 am    Post subject: Polling begins Reply with quote

The poll is up! Thanks everyone for your suggestions. Very amusing, especially the spider that has to refuel itself by killing something, even though that would make things very complicated (I think that's what makes it so interesting to me).

Shillelagh, I'm glad you noticed that Mina didn't say anything about it being a mountable creature. I think everyone (hey, me too) imagined some kind of strange creature when the name was mentioned, but a big part of the creative process is exploring ideas beyond the first thing that comes to mind.

Just curious, what was the first thing that came to everyone's mind when they read the word "hlathlu"? I think I imagined something like a two-legged dragon with no wings except for ornamental ones around the head.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 8:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sure there's another vote here somewhere.... If not, I guess I'll break the tie myself. By the way, what do we think of the new WotW banner? I liked Chinaren's smaller animated banners, so I thought I would try my hand at one myself.
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 12:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, there was. I was hoping on waiting to see if anyone else would chime in on one of my options, but in the interest of breaking a tie, I choose this one. I feel like it will give the story a much more interesting spin to it.

Honestly, when I first read hlathlu, my thoughts went to some sort of primitive piercing or slashing weapon, because of its similarities to an atlatl. Both words are filled with odd syllables, and the mind sort of comes to a halt and breaks down the word into syllables when you first see it.
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 7:01 am    Post subject: Chapter 4: It's a spider Reply with quote

Chapter 4: It's a Spider.

Riding a hlathlu, for anyone who is wondering, requires the calm and confidence that only comes from strong liquor. Unfortunately, I had to be satisfied with 'scared stupid'. When Mina first explained that it was a large hairy spider I began to protest, but she put her hand on my mouth and I suddenly lost my voice. Not literally, of course, but from that point on, I listened very carefully to everything she said. When I saw the hlathlu itself, I put on a brave face and mounted it immediately, trying to convince her that I was bold and unafraid. The spider jerked around under me, but not because it was frightened. All of its movements were sudden.

At this point, all of my blood was coagulating in my bare feet and I felt a little numb. Mina guided my hands to the right places to hold (on the spider) and instructed me on every important detail about riding and taking care of the spider. I would have liked a little more elaboration on the part where she said I must "never act like food." The hlathlu would want to feed as often as it could, but I had to make certain it did not become bloated or else it would want to mate.

The last thing she told me about probably should have been mentioned first. The hlathlu was trained not to eat things with a certain smell on it. The smell came from an herb that I never heard of before. It has a distinct spicy sweetness about it which actually smelled delicious to me. Mina pulled me down from the spider in order to wrap my head with a turban that carried the smell, and she smiled at me when she saw the final result.

Predicting that I would soon be dead riding an edgy giant spider, or at least feeling I would never see Mina again, I kissed her lips deeply. The kiss ended with a sharp slap.

"I'm married," Mina said and folded her arms.

"Then I'm sorry you liked it," I responded.

I mounted again quickly to make my getaway. Perhaps I should have asked to feed the hlathlu before leaving, but then I wouldn't have found the watchtower so quickly. Another concerned worm dweller handed me a compass and (I think) wished me luck. They lifted the side of the worm again, and we launched back into the storm.

The hlathlu ran at a good brisk pace, but it soared over hills and trees when it jumped, which it did often. It almost lost its rider the first time, but after that I became accustomed to it and understood why I had to lay down while riding. I was still trying to decide which way I should begin my search when the spider found a small stable with two hobbled horses.

The hlathlu instantly seized the first horse and was draining its blood before I could say "Whoa!" It took a lot of coercion to keep the second horse alive, but eventually the spider heeded my commands and let it be. The watchtower was very close, though I had to do more searching. Somehow it was better when we left the green paradise and we were in the proper wasteland. It just made more sense to have a sandstorm here.

The spider climbed the wall of the tower easily, and I can only imagine what the lookouts within were thinking when I knocked on the shutters and called them to open up. Warily, my friend Samar opened the shutter and saw me, wearing a turban and riding a giant spider. Samar would have been a much better companion than Bardo, I think to myself. None of this would have happened if it weren't for Bardo.

"Send the warning. I have seen the great worms and they are coming," I said. He ran back to the blue gem hovering and spinning in place within the tower. He halted it, then threw his arm to make it spin as fast as he could make it going the other way. A light grew within the gem which became blinding. In another moment a streak of lightning tore the troubled air and arced toward the capitol. The blue light continued to glow, as it should, but the warning has finally been sent.

"Did you not see any worms?" I asked Samar.

"No, I haven't seen anything since the sandstorm started."

"The worms brought the sandstorm," I replied grimly. Samar had no immediate response.

"What do we do?" he said at last.

DP: What direction does the story take from here? Does the protagonist try to go to the Founder's Fortress as mentioned before? Does he rejoin the worm dwellers, or maybe abandon the green paradise to search for a new home? Maybe the hlathlu drags the protagonist against his will to a spider queen, or a worm my appear suddenly and politely ask directions to the nearest major city.... Go ahead, people. Go nuts.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 7:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Previous poll results for chapter 3:

What is a hlathlu?
An ostrich-like lizard [ 0 ]
A horse-sized eagle [ 1 ]
A large hairy (and hungry) spider [ 2 ]
A magic belt that enables very, very fast running [ 0 ]
A magic crown that astrally projects to any previously explored location [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 3
Who Voted: Chinaren, Muaddib, Shillelagh

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 8:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, I really really like this story.

Meta Dp. Hmm. I'd say that Samar was already killed and eaten by worms, and the person we're seeing is actually a new specie of worm that can transfigure itself to look like anything it wants to.

Nothing immediate can be done with that, but I want to see what'd happen if the story moves in that dierection
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 10:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another good pithy chapter!

Quote:
all of my blood was coagulating in my bare feet
I'm not too sure about this phrase though. I think maybe you meant that the blood was collecting in the feet? Coagulation is when a liquid thickens.

The hlathlu is a bit erratic. I say he chases after the worm and attacks it, while the protagonist tries in vain to control it.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Muaddib wrote:
I'm not too sure about this phrase though. I think maybe you meant that the blood was collecting in the feet? Coagulation is when a liquid thickens.


Thank you for the suggestion. I did not mean that phrase literally, it was intended to be metaphorical (you know, like "my blood froze when I saw the monster"). Maybe the term "coagulated" sounds too technical and descriptive to be thought of as a metaphor, but I thought it did it's job nicely. The blood collecting in his feet made his feet feel like jelly.

Vishal, I could definitely work with that DP suggestion. I'm good with subtlety (if I do say so myself).

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, a completely open MetaDP. I mean, the others were meta too... but this one is completely open, with no restrictions. Given how often Lebby speaks out about this sort of thing, I feel obligated to abuse my power as a reader to suggest as many dumb and absurd things as possible. Which might make polling problematic... so I invite Lebby to ignore any these suggestions when making the poll.

-The hlathlu starts to eat Samar and the other posted guards.
-The hlathlu starts to eat the beacon system's power.
-The hlathlu starts to eat the protagonist.
-The hlathlu reveals that it is a sentient being, and begins to speak with a british accent.
-The hlathlu reveals that is is an alien, and takes the protagonist back to its home planet.
-The hlathlu spontaneously combusts.
-The protagonist spontaneously combusts.
-Samar spontaneously combusts.
-Samar blames the protagonist for the worms, and wants him exiled.
-Samar blames the protagonist for the worms, and wants him deaead.
-Samar blames the hlathlu for the worms, but is eaten by it.
-Samar blames the state of the kingdom on the removal of religion from schools.
-Samar can't deny his hidden love for the protagonist any longer.
-Samar can't deny his hidden love for hostess snack cakes.
-Samar can't believe that it's not butter.
-The protagonist heads toward the Founder's Fortress.
-The protagonist heads back to Mina and the nomads.
-The protagonist heads to Duluth, Minnesota.
-The protagonist heads back to the destroyed tower to bury Bardo, only to discover that the body is missing.
-The protagonist is suffering from post-traumatic stress- Bardo didn't die when the worms attacked...
-The protagonist is suffering from multiple personality disorder- he is Bardo.
-The protagonist is suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder- he starts brushing the hlathlu's fur.
-The protagonist is suffering from amnesia.
-The narration shifts to the people receiving the warning beacon's signal.
-The narration shifts to the villain responsible for unleashing the worms.
-The narration shifts to Princess Pteraphynae, whose destiny is a key part of this story.
-The narration shifts to an ASCII drawing of a puppy.
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great chapter.

I say the spider tries to lay eggs in them, maybe even does! That could prove an intersting twist.
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shillelagh wrote:
Wow, a completely open MetaDP. I mean, the others were meta too... but this one is completely open, with no restrictions. Given how often Lebby speaks out about this sort of thing, I feel obligated to abuse my power as a reader to suggest as many dumb and absurd things as possible. Which might make polling problematic... so I invite Lebby to ignore any these suggestions when making the poll.


I suppose I deserved that. Still, I wanted to give the whole "Go nuts" thing a try. Apparently I was right to rant against it earlier. Wink
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^_^ I simply could not resist making that list. At least there are some legitimate DP options along with all of the completely idiotic ones. Admittedly, some of them would require the story to make an abrupt genre shift... but considering all of his guilt over Bardo and abandoning his post... I think "Samar blames the protagonist for the worms, and wants him exiled" could be really interesting. If you must ignore the list, at least keep that one. Although I really think you're missing out on all of the wondrous events that could happen in "The protagonist heads to Duluth, Minnesota." That's an action-packed DP if I ever saw one... Razz
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 8:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I must admit... I'm going to be very temped by "I can't believe its not butter..." as a poll option.

Great story so far, Lebs!

I think he needs to do reconnaissance now to figure out where the worms are, how many there are and get an idea of where they are headed. The spider should help a lot with that (great choice y'all btw!)
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 2:44 pm    Post subject: Worm Polling Reply with quote

Five poll options available, two to three days of polling days left. Sorry for the "them" being kind of ambiguous in the third option. It occurred to me when I re-read Chinaren's post that I wasn't sure if he meant the spiders lays eggs in the people or the worms.
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 3:31 pm    Post subject: Re: Worm Polling Reply with quote

Lebrenth wrote:
Five poll options available, two to three days of polling days left. Sorry for the "them" being kind of ambiguous in the third option. It occurred to me when I re-read Chinaren's post that I wasn't sure if he meant the spiders lays eggs in the people or the worms.


I meant these two tower people. But of course, they could lay eggs in anything, though the worm skin may be a bit thick to get through.
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 6:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow... First time I've seen a five-way tie! :O
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poor Lebby... you always seem to get the most unusual ties...

Could it be that the real danger of a meta DP is that everyone likes their own option too much to vote for someone else's?
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 11:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah, I think that might be the first time I've seen 20% on all options myself... huh. All are interesting options as well... but then Shille may have a point.
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Damn! I missed a couple of fab chappies while I was away. Continuing to enjoy this, Lebby, and looking forward to participating in the next chapter. Smile

And voted, of course. Wink

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Worm Polling Reply with quote

Chinaren, I hate to be the one to tell you, but it appears your name is on fire.

Chinaren wrote:
I meant these two tower people. But of course, they could lay eggs in anything, though the worm skin may be a bit thick to get through.


I would agree, the worm hide certainly should be pretty thick. We'll just say the poll refers to the people.

Looks like I missed the 5 way tie phenomenon! That's ok, it's not like it's a solar eclipse or something.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 2:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry Lebs...


You have one day to post another chapter or it shall be moved to the snailstory area.
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 4:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey now, last chapter was last Tuesday and it's still Tuesday where I'm at now Mr. Chinaren. Cool Anyway, I'll post the next chapter now.

Here's how the DP turned out:
Where does the story go?
Worms can transfigure into people, Samar is already dead [ 1 ]
The hlathlu erratically attacks a worm [ 2 ]
Spider starts laying eggs in "them" [ 1 ]
Samar blames the protagonist for the worms, and wants him exiled [ 1 ]
Reconnoiter the worms, find their numbers, positions, and the directions they're going [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 6
Who Voted: Chinaren, Muaddib, Shillelagh, Thunderbird, Tikanni Corazon, Vishal Muralidharan

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 4:34 pm    Post subject: Chapter 5: Spiders Have No Sense Reply with quote

Chapter 5: Spiders Have No Sense

“We won’t get anywhere just sitting here,” I said to Samar. “Let’s go to Founder’s Fortress, where we can – Whoa!”

The hlathlu jumped from the top of the tower back the way we came. The wind carried our jump farther than before. It took so long to hit the ground if felt like we had jumped off the edge of the world. We only briefly landed before the spider jumped again, and once more after that, completely ignoring every command I gave it. Then it made a sharper turn before jumping once more and landing on what I thought was a ridge, but when I recognized that it was moving, I knew what it was immediately. This insane spider deliberately jumped onto a bringer of destruction, a great worm.

The hide of the worm was like the hardest leather, but it moved with great speed. It did not seem to notice or care that a large spider with a bewildered rider had landed on it. I could not see the creature’s head, but that was apparently not the spider’s destination. Now that it was on top of the behemoth, the spider turned around and ran to the tail, which tapered off slowly. The tail was significantly suppler. Its movement reminded me of a tongue, and it was slimy. As soon as the spider stepped onto the slick tail, the worm stopped moving forward. The tail whipped around frantically, but not frantically enough. The spider lunged with such force that I was flung away. It sank its teeth in the tender hide of the tail and hung on. It was a good five seconds of thrashing with the spider still holding on and delivering its venom before the wind shifted. Whirlwinds tore away the ground, and whisked me into the air, and as I tumbled midair, the terrible maw of the great worm appeared through the dust.

The creature was enraged. As it opened its enormous mouth, I could see oblivion within, but in a moment it transformed into a hellish furnace. Fire exploded outward and engulfed its own tail. The heat burned me, though I was not even close to the target of this rage. The spider was nothing more than a disintegrating cinder, and the once supple tail was burned black. I was still being carried by wind, completely out of control, and the roar of the worm followed after me, until the worm, and the world itself, were out of sight. I was certain that I was about to die, and it is still hard to believe how I managed to survive.

DP: How does he manage to survive?


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 7:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He cuts open the underbelly of the spider and slips inside. It might not smell good but it'll keep out the cold...or in this case the heat.
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 11:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It seems you have the wrong idea. The protagonist's problem is that he's been swept up in the wind and he's so high he can't see the ground. The heat is not an immediate threat, though if he survives the fall and lands in front of the worm it could become a problem. But that's for later, and it depends on where the DP takes us.

Any other suggestions?

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 6:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes you're right.

In that case I say that the wastelanders find him once more and tend to his wounds.
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

He falls into a river, and the wastelanders find him. No damage done. Wink
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 12:02 pm    Post subject: Poll Reply with quote

Pretty much we're just determining whether the protagonist is injured or not, but in any case, here's the poll!
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 12:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I HAD a far more creative response for this but I HAVE been really slow to getting my response posts done. Sorry for that. I read this earlier this week (been doing most of my reading off a disk at work - no online connection there so I can't post as soon as I've read... urgh.)

Anyhow, been really enjoying this tale Lebby. And the creative DPs are quite intriguing... you should consider joining the Experimental guild.
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:10 am    Post subject: Polling completed Reply with quote

The poll is closed and the chapter is coming soon. Here are the results:

How does the protagonist survive?
The wastelanders find him and heal him [ 3 ]
He lands in a river, no harm done (wastelanders still find him) [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 5
Who Voted: Chinaren, Lebrenth, Shillelagh, Thunderbird, Vishal Muralidharan

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 12:55 pm    Post subject: Chapter 6: Wastelander Medicine Reply with quote

Chapter 6: Wastelander Medicine
I woke up surrounded by people and I was terrified. Not only did I not know where I was or who these people were, my head hurt terribly and I couldn’t remember things. The strange moving worm tent was unfamiliar and more unsettling than the first time. The bed I laid in was being carried by several wastelanders, all of them very grim. The woman, Mina, who helped me raise the alarm, she was there to talk to me, to tell me everything was all right. I did not know her and I was not all right. I demanded answers, and I got sorrowful looks and a slow explanation, but as I never told them of my shameful negligence, it wasn’t mentioned. Eventually she told me how I was brought to the tent.

“You were nearly dead,” Mina said. “Our shaman had to persuade your spirit to stay.”

“What?!” I said. “You put some witch’s curse on me?”

“No, you are not cursed. You are alive and soon you’ll be better.”

“What happened to me?”

“We found you on the ground, you hit your head on a rock. It’s a good thing you were wearing a turban or you may not have survived.”

“A turban?!” I replied incredulously. I only wore bandages on my throbbing head.

“Well, we had to take it off. We had to tend the wound. We will need to redress it every day.”

“I don’t think so. If the worms have come, it is my duty to raise the alarm.”

“How will you do that?” she replied. “We do not know where the watchtowers are and now you don’t either.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s obvious you’ve lost your memory.”

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll figure it out. Put me down. I’m leaving,” I said. “And I want my horses back.”

“I know you are injured, but that is no way to repay our kindness. We traded those horses for a hlathlu, and we brought you here to save your life.”

“… Thank you, but my entire kingdom is in danger. Surely if you valued my life enough to bring me here, you value their lives as well.”

“It is not safe for you! You probably can’t even walk!”

“I can try! Put me down!” I said, but the wastelanders, of course, could not understand me except Mina and she would not translate.

“At least let us take you to the nearest village. The hlathlu will find it soon.”

“What’s a lathloo?”

“It’s what we ride instead of horses. They will find people.”

I didn’t know what they really wanted, but Mina was right. I didn’t know where I was and I was in no condition to leave. I had to trust them. I laid back and let them carry me. The slight swinging and bobbing of their steps was like a gentle nap in a hammock. It reminded me of something just out of reach of my memory; something pleasant and horrible at the same time. I decided I would put it out of my mind. I had more important things to worry about. All of my loved ones were in danger, even our very lands were in danger, as the worms have torn away the enchantments that kept it lush and beautiful. Surely someone had already raised the alarm… but what if they hadn’t? And what happened to my partner at the watchtower?

I couldn’t say how much time had passed really, as I fell in and out of sleep. I was preoccupied always with foreboding visions of what may be happening elsewhere. Mina changed my bandages, which had some strange medicinal concoction on it. I slept again and more time passed.

Then, unexpectedly, the others put me on the ground… I hadn't notice we had stopped. Mina asked me to try to stand. I did stand, but only with great difficulty. It was as though my legs didn’t recognize me and they weren’t sure they should do as I told them to. The heaviness fortunately diminished over time.

“We have found a city,” Mina said. “Please come with me and tell me if you recognize it.”

We walked to the mouth of the worm tent, where there were two hlathlus reined in by over a dozen people. I did not want to walk past the giant spiders, no matter how tightly the people held onto them. Mina helped me through and I saw the city. I remembered it very well, even with my memory compromised. Even if I hadn’t been there before, I would know it by its description because it was so famous and remarkably distinct. If we were here already then a lot more time had passed than I thought. I had no reliable gauge how far the worms had come, but I at least knew they have been this far.

DP: What is so remarkably distinct about this city?
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All of the city's buildings have a light blue facade. The Blue City.
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Continuing to love your new efforts Lebs!

I say the city has a massive ornately carven entrance gate, much like Babylon once had. (though I do like Muad's suggest too!)
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 9:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was hoping for something more extravagant. This is an enchanted kingdom, which is in itself remarkable, but a city within an enchanted kingdom that stands out amongst the others... who knows what it could be that made it so different. Think big, if you want to. Imagine a painting of a strange city by some fantasy artist. What do you see?
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Challenge accepted!

Okay, my new idea is that there are two tall mountains and the city is a bridge from one mountain to the other. But there are no supports under the city-bridge. And the city is made of blue stone.

I had the Florentine bridge, Ponte Vecchio in mind when I thought of this.
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 3:44 pm    Post subject: Poll open Reply with quote

Time for voting!
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 12:23 pm    Post subject: Poll closed Reply with quote

What's distinct about the city?
Light blue facade [ 0 ]
Ornately carved gate [ 0 ]
The entire city is on an enormous bridge between mountains [ 4 ]
Total Votes : 4
Who Voted: Muaddib, Shillelagh, Thunderbird, Vishal Muralidharan

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 12:30 pm    Post subject: Chapter 7: City on a Bridge Reply with quote

Chapter 7: City on a Bridge
For a moment I just stood there dumbfounded. There was no mistaking that I looked upon the city of Grysell, but what it had become was a shattered nightmare. The city was once built entirely on a giant bridge that spanned the peaks of two mountains. The bridge stretched four miles long and nearly half a mile wide, and the buildings were often several stories tall. There were numerous elevators that raised and lowered in pairs throughout the day. In the valley below grew acres of wheat and blue apple orchards and cattle grazed lazily under the watchful eyes of the farmers high above with telescopes. There were gardens with iridescent butterflies, and lakes and rivers full of crowned herons and red-bellied fish. The city itself was held up by powerful enchantments that had never weakened or faltered before. It was considered one of the safest cities to live in, before the worms came.

What I gazed upon made me lose all sense of reality. I could not truly fathom what I saw, I couldn’t really accept it. The valley burned, the rivers bled black and grey ash, and the city bridge had broken into a dozen pieces. The sand swarmed in, tearing and scraping and burying the beauty that was once there. Three worms, only three, had destroyed everything and they were now waiting to feast upon the survivors clinging to the floating remnants of Grysell. The enchantments were at last faltering. Some parts of the city were overturned and pouring people into the mouths of the worms below. The largest section hovered in the center of the valley and wobbled and drifted down as slow as the minute hand of a clock. The worms were patient and those who remained had nowhere to run to.

“We must help them,” I said logically. I was bereft of emotion. It was only some scrap of humanity inside that told me I should do something.

“We can’t do anything until the worms leave, this disguise only works at a distance,” Mina said. She placed her hand on my shoulder and held me. “We can only help those who survive.”

“No, there must be something we can do.”

Meta DP: How do the protagonist and the wastelanders save survivors while the worms remain? Be creative, but try to keep your options appropriate to the style and narrative of the story.
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 2:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Chapter 7: City on a Bridge Reply with quote

Lebrenth wrote:
Be creative, but try to keep your options appropriate to the style and narrative of the story.


Aww...

Well, I would say that they're going to use some of their merchandise to equip some rescue teams to go in with surgical strikes to save people. Enchanted ropes or speed boots or something? If nothing else, they could have people go in on hlathlus, since the spiders have already proven their all-terrain capabilities and lack of fear of the worms.
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Chapter 7: City on a Bridge Reply with quote

Shillelagh wrote:
Aww...


That's right, Shillelagh. In fact, I worded it more carefully just for you. Smile

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great description of the city! Exactly what I pictured. Also the carnage and destruction was described really well.

I can't seem to think of anything too creative. But here's what I have: the Wastelanders kill a horse or two and deposit in the middle of the worms. The worms begin to fight over the meal. In the meantime, a couple of the Wastelanders ride the fastest Hlathlu up the sides of the mountains to the remnants of the city and rescue the survivors.
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 10:06 am    Post subject: Ch7 WotW Poll Reply with quote

Poll is up until Tuesday morning. Do we want to see the worms fight each other or do we want to see the wastelander rescue team use their enchanted equipment? One way or the other, there will be giant spiders, which I'm looking forward to. Smile
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure I would've had much more in the way of good ideas to add but I voted for the second option because I felt it was the more fitting of the tone of the tale.

The concept of the worms waiting beneath and catching all the falling people in their mouths gave them a concept of scale that is truly massive. Very nicely expressed chapter entirely! Your writing is truly honed to a nicely skilled edge here Lebs. And how you manage to jump us into the next DP so quickly... is the trick the extremely 'active' plot?
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 6:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a nice guy. Thanks Thunderbird, as usual, I really appreciate your comments. I don't think I deserve too much credit though, the narrative is nearly stripped to the bone. That's why I get to the DP's so quick. I guess it helps that I plan for the DP before I start writing, but with a story like this, I just have to stop at the nearest interesting spot.
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 9:22 am    Post subject: DP closed, chapter in progress Reply with quote

Here, I'm calling it on myself before Chinaren has a chance too:




I'm working on the next chapter right now. Here are the results of the last DP.

How to save survivors?
Wastelanders rescue teams use special enchanted equipment and hlathlus [ 1 ]
Worms fight over sacrificed horses while hlathlus save survivors [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 3
Who Voted: Muaddib, Shillelagh, Thunderbird

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:13 am    Post subject: Chapter 8: Infighting Behemoths Reply with quote

Chapter 8: Infighting Behemoths
As the wobbling floating islands of the destroyed bridge city lowered the survivors closer and closer to the worms’ mouths, I felt an increasing urgency. As a plan began to form, I felt that urgency slam into a wall of terror at what I was about to do. I couldn’t remember how I got my head injury, but I was pretty sure it happened because of those horrible giant spiders. I never wanted to even see one again, but I needed their help.

“You said these lathloo things jump, right?” I asked Mina. She seemed to think it was an odd question.

“Yes…”

“Can they jump far enough to reach those people?”

“It’s too dangerous. No way.”

“Those people are dying, just like your people died, right? You were a refugee, weren’t you? You used to live like we do.”

“I don’t even remember,” she said in a distant tone. She began to look very upset, perhaps conflicted. She talked with the others in their language. The discussion became an argument, and was escalating to a fight. I could tell there were people on both sides of this debate and I was pretty certain Mina was on mine. I didn’t understand why, at that time, but I felt a heaviness in my heart, something more than just the pity for the people dying. It was guilt. I had to do something to relieve myself of it, and I was prepared to steal a spider if I had to.

A man of distinction arrived, who wore golden bracelets, a wide gold necklace, and black clothes and turban. People quieted and bowed their heads respectfully. Mina and another man pled their case before him. I could not tell who was winning. Then Mina asked,

“Are you willing to go with us if we try to rescue the people?”

“Me? Yes, absolutely. I’ll do anything I can to help.”

The distinguished man nodded his head. Mina’s adversary frowned threateningly at Mina, but he stood down.

“Let’s go,” Mina said to me grimly. “You will ride with Jareb.” Then she climbed on a hlathlu.

“You’re not going too, are you?”

“Of course I’m going. We need to talk to the people, to explain that we are going to help them. My husband will ride out with some horses to distract the worms. We will help people escape.”

“That’s your husband?” I asked, verifying that the man she was arguing with, Lemmuel was his name, was the one she promised to honor and obey. She didn’t respond. I felt a bit more shame and disappointment, as I forgot she was married and Mina had been… so supportive while I was recuperating.

Warily, I joined Jareb on a hlathlu. Jareb patted my knee reassuringly, and before I knew it the spider lunged forward. I clung to Jareb tighter than a child to its mother. More than once, he elbowed me to loosen my grip as we jumped up the mountain. The enormous worms began taking notice of us and one moved toward us. We had to circle around the mountain for a while to avoid its fiery breath, but the journey to the top was remarkably short.

The broken end of the bridge was crowded with people calling desperately across the gap. I recall a dog barking and pacing on the edge, hopelessly trying to find a way back its master. The people had ropes that they were trying to throw to waiting hands on the nearest island, but they could make the distance. But everyone stopped when they saw us. Jareb nudged me.

“We’re here to help!” I yelled. “I’m from the … Ammon … Watchtower,” I said… but for some reason, I wasn’t sure if I had the name right. My memory was still fuzzy and I sounded a little unconfident, but I pressed on. “I’m a scout for the King. Please make room for us, and we’ll bring back as many as we can.”

While I spoke, the spider stalked the dog. Before the dog could do much more than growl, the spider had seized it and was draining its blood while the refugees watched. At least I still had my uniform, and they didn’t attack us on the spot. After an awkward few minutes, we were distracted by the earth shaking roars of the worms. Mina’s husband had arrived with the horses and through a wonderful stroke of luck, the worms were fighting over the treat. I thought I better add something to help our cause more.

“These wastelanders are our friends. They’re sacrificing their horses to give us a chance to save lives. Be ready!”

Jareb took the end of three ropes from the refugees. They offered no resistance. Then the hlathlu jumped on command, easily clearing the large gap and scattering the terrified people nearby. We began making a bridge, while below the worms whipped their heads and tails at each other, causing whirlwinds to whip us around. I heard a terrible crash as one of the smaller islands fell to the ground. I had no way of knowing how many had died with it. Our own island rocked and I saw a man get lifted right off of his feet from the wind and vanish in the storm.

Our rope bridge was nothing more than three ropes, one for each hand and one for the feet, and nothing to connect the three but one’s own will to survive. Someone threw a big bundle of rope on my lap before making the treacherous traversal. I couldn’t watch. Besides, we had to make it to another island while we still had time. I knew Mina was doing the same on the opposite side of the bridge, but I admit I was more worried about her than about the others. I wanted her to survive and I wished she hadn’t gone with us. It occurred to me that perhaps she was on the piece of bridge that fell… she could already be dead.

The next island had a shorter gap, but it had turned upside down. I could see the large enchanted glyphs glowing on the underside, now shining upward, and an elevator laying on top instead of dangling down. Below I heard people calling for help, clinging onto lampposts that were buried in the bridge while they watched their homes coming apart like a scarf with a loose thread. With my heart feeling like lead, I turned away. We didn’t have time to save them. We took more ropes from the elevators, finished two more anchors, and prepared for a particularly wide jump.

By this time, the worms had stopped fighting. The largest of the three worms consumed all of the horses. I could only assume Mina’s husband managed to get away. Now the worms turned their attention back to us. One worm turned up its head and breathed fired as high as it could, maybe high enough to reach the islands… I could not see to be sure.

As Jareb and I waited for a calm moment in the wind to make this large jump, I saw a bright point of light like a shooting star. I pointed it out to Jareb and we watched it strike the largest island.

“You know what that is?” I asked Jareb ironically. Not only was a certain he didn’t know what it was, he didn’t even understand my words when I asked. “It’s a wizard! It’s our wizard! Maybe Hestian or Galdernum, but I’d even be happy to see Zinfury. Or even Grelda! Quickly, make the jump! Go for it!”

Jareb was confused, but the wind had calmed as much as it was going to. As terrifying as the jump should have been, I was just so happy that the King had sent a wizard to help us that I felt invincible. We landed off course, nearly so far that we would have missed, but we made it. I didn't care! I couldn't wait to see who had arrived and what incredible magic was about to happen.

Meta DP: Who has arrived and what incredible magic is about to happen? You do not need to choose any of the above names, nor are you required to choose a wizard of the king, but it is a person with impressive magical qualities intending to do some serious magic involving the worms or the survivors in Grysell.
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 12:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The spell is a barrier, which will expand from the large island to cover the whole city. Nothing can get in or out. The people are trapped, but when the worms cannot reach their prey, they will eventually leave.

The spell is a weapon. The kingdom has a zero-tolerance worm policy, and must immediately destroy Grysell in a massive, magical explosion so that the worms will be destroyed too. It is better to amputate a limb than to let the whole body become sick.
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's Bardo. Somehow he's been reborn more powerful than ever...Gandalf style. I know it's ridiculous, but I like Shillelagh's idea a lot. Just thought I'd throw something out.
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 12:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awesome read buddy! The visual imagery I get from these awesome creatures is quite impressive and I must attribute that to some of the excellent snippets in your writing such as:
Quote:
while below the worms whipped their heads and tails at each other, causing whirlwinds to whip us around.
Such small details, such great impact.

Anyhow, I'm going to say that the magic creates a massive golem out of the rubbled remains of the city itself, a titanic construct of wood and stone that goes forth to destroy at least one worm before being torn apart by the other two.

The Wizard is a refugee actually, an EX-court mage that was here in hiding.
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 4:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

They all sound so interesting! Even Bardo, though that was suggested as a sort of gag, could be turned into quite a twist.

Now seeing you quote it, Thunderbird, I wish I didn't reuse "whip". Surely there are other words with the same impact. I think the fight actually deserved more detail, but it was already a longer than usual chapter. I'm glad you felt it had a lot of impact. Great suggestion by the way! I like the idea for the character, and if the golem is voted in, I look forward to learning more about him!

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to announce "The poll is now open!" It will stay until Wednesday this time, since I posted a day late last time. Thanks everyone for your help in creating this story!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Caught up!

And voted.

And losing. Sad
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see room for a combination between the two tied options... once the golem is destroyed by the other two worms it explodes, taking out the whole region.

So I walked into a bar the other day... I'm still getting over the headache.

Proud member of the Humor Guild Wink

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 7:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Holy Crap :/
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry people. As much as I want to write the chapter right now, I'm stealing time just telling you that I'm going to delay the chapter. I'll have to catch up next week, by then it will probably be in Fantasy Forest.
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 2:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This has been moved to Fantasy at the request of Lebs.
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 6:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Desperate need for a tiebreaker here... and I can't do it myself Sad
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 6:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The poll expired, actually, so anyone who wants to vote while I'm still trying to catch up should just do a write in (just post your vote as a message).
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 9:23 am    Post subject: Chapter 9: The King's Wizards Reply with quote

Chapter 9: The King’s Wizards
Time graced me with a moment of clarity that seemed to last for years. My memories, and all of their horror, returned to me. I was aware of everything around me, including the worms stealing magic, breathing fire, and killing everything in sight. We perched upon a broken piece of the city of Grysell, which weakly hovered on failing magic. I was riding with Jareb, a strange nomad that I was forced to trust, on a hungry and fearless hlathlu spider. This moment was elicited, no doubt, by the arrival of two of the king’s wizards, each of them channeling unspeakable power.

“Let’s get closer! I want to see this!” I said to Jareb and pointed. He understood well enough to cautiously proceed. They were on the next floating piece of the bridge city. I could see Zinfury clearly, he was often considered the most dangerous, but if his rage was directed on the worms, all the better. A little closer, I could see Galdernum casting his most famous of spells. As though every star in the cosmos descended upon us, shining lights converged into a bubble that surrounded the large island, and as more lights streaked down, it grew.

“That’s a protective spell, Jareb. Even the worms won’t be able to get us through that!” I said. “Two wizards! What luck! I thought those two hated each other. I wonder if it’s safe to get any closer.”

“Of course not!” a cranky old voice said from behind us. We turned to see an old man in peasant clothes. As old as he looked, he carried himself with strength, standing upright and his exposed arms were tense as though he carried a heavy load. “If you’re done staring at the king’s pets, do you mind going back to what you’re supposed to be doing?”

“What?” I asked, a little dumbfounded.

“Getting people off the bridge!” he yelled. His face was getting red, not just from anger. He was exerting his strength on something I couldn’t see.

“You’re Lysus,” I said incredulously. That’s three of the king’s wizards… well, Lysus used to be the king’s wizard.

“Move! I don’t want to crush anyone!” he said. I knew better than to argue with a wizard.

The islands were getting closer together, making it easier to bridge the gaps. The Galdernum’s barrier continued to grow, overtaking us and filling the entire gap between the mountains. It was large enough to surround all of the worms below too.

“That doesn’t make sense,” I said to myself. “The barrier is supposed to keep the worms out… isn’t it?” But who was I to question the tactics of wizards? Clearly they had work to do, so we would just get everyone we could as far away as possible…. Only the barrier wouldn’t let us out. “No. What-- They’re trapping us in!”

It was too late to escape, we were inside the barrier with the worms. Some of us beat our fists helplessly against the barrier. Nearby, two children were separated from their parents only a few yards away.

“So… that’s Galdernum’s spell. What is Zinfury’s?” I asked myself.

“He’s calling upon the powers of darkness,” a refugee responded. “He’s going to destroy the city.”

This simple man, a craftsman perhaps, was probably right. A large black vortex opened before us, sucking in the air and anything close to it…. If the king wanted Grysell destroyed enough to send two wizards, that’s what would happen. And what of Lysus, the disgraced wizard? What did he intend to do? He at least seemed to care about the survivors.

The floating islands were moving in strange ways in response to Lysus’ spell. They were putting themselves together to form something that looked like a statue. When it was fully formed, with Zinfury and Galdernum now floating midair in the same place they began their incantations, and every remaining floating piece of Grysell now assembled, the statue came to life. Its arms swung above its head, and with a mighty swing, they both came crashing down on the nearest worm, crushing it and causing its entrails to burst out.

The other worms breathed fire, but it did nothing to the golem that was mostly stone. A short battle raged between them, the worms whipping and chomping, and the golem swinging its fists. The black vortex grew, and started tearing large pieces off of the golem. Its right fist swung too far and went into the vortex. It pulled but it could not get its fist out. The worms took the advantage, tearing the golem down till it fell to the ground, sending an enormous and furious dust cloud swirling within the barrier.

“At least the worms will die with us,” the shopkeep beside me said grimly.

“No, I’m not ready to die,” I said.

DP: How does the protagonist escape destruction?
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 9:27 am    Post subject: Poll Results for Ch. 8 Reply with quote

Below are the results of Chapter 8 polls, so we're ready for Chapter 9 suggestion phase! It's been nearly two years, but I couldn't let another SG be left in such a state. As you could see, we had a three way tie, so I combined them.


What kind of magic spell to use?
Impenetrable barrier protects until worms give up and leave
33% [ 2 ]
Massive magical explosion kills everything close to the city
33% [ 2 ]
Resurrection of Bardo the White. "You Shall Not Pass!"
0% [ 0 ]
Raise a massive golem from the ruins of the city that kills a worm
33% [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 6
Who Voted: Chinaren, Muaddib, Shillelagh, Thunderbird, Tikanni Corazon, Vishal Muralidharan


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 2:29 pm    Post subject: Suggestionless Reply with quote

I completely understand, no worries. I'm still interested in finishing this SG, nonetheless, so I'm going to make my own suggestions. Hopefully someone will come along and vote on one.

Option 1: Protagonist is saved by Lysus and a wizardly conspiracy is revealed.

Option 2: Protagonist mysteriously survives, but is permanently altered by the magical blast.

Option 3: Protagonist jumps into a very deep well to escape blast

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 5:32 pm    Post subject: Chapter 10: Darkest Dungeon Reply with quote

Chapter 10: Darkest Dungeon

The dust cloud and the very air that held it was sucked into the vortex. My chest heaved in vain to try to draw in a breath. I pushed at the barrier with the others, hoping for some momentary opening to let us out. However, the barrier was unwavering. The ground trembled as Lysus’ golem dragged itself toward us with its remaining arm. I could see Lysus within the cracked head. He was bleeding and his face was stretched by anguish.

Then the vortex abruptly stopped sucking in. I saw Lysus’ eyes widen with fear, and with a final effort, he threw the golem around the survivors… as many as he could…. The void exploded, shooting all of the mass that it had consumed back out. The protective wards on the golem glowed brightly as it endured the thrashing, then in quick succession the wards flickered and died. Lysus was torn away and the golem crumbled, burying some of the few who were saved by his sacrifice.

“That’s enough,” Galdernum said. I withdrew my hand from the glowing orb that showed the images of the past events, of the watchtower and the sandstorm and the city of Grysell…. It was so real, I forgot where I was and I thought I was there, living the moment after Zinfury and Galdernum destroyed the city. As the orb faded back to a clear ball, I remembered where I really was.

After the explosion and the barrier vanished, the worms were dead and I was somehow alive. Lysus was gone. The remaining two wizards found me, and before I could say a word, everything went black. Somehow, they brought me to that dungeon of black stone, with a large room filled with arcane paraphernalia. They demanded to know the whole story. I saw no reason to deny them, though I did not know how they intended to extract the story from me till they made me touch the orb.

“What will you do with me?” I asked, unable to hold back a little quiver in my voice. They spoke to each other in an ancient language I could not understand, but there was darkness in the tone and violence in their eyes. I glanced around at implements of torture that had been outlawed a long time ago, and I realized this couldn't be a legal inquisition. They were hiding something, perhaps from the King himself.

DP: What is the conspiracy?
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2013 5:33 pm    Post subject: Chapter 9 Poll Results Reply with quote


Here are the poll results for Chapter 9. Yep, I just voted myself.

How does the protagonist survive?
Protagonist is saved by Lysus and a wizardly conspiracy is revealed
100% [ 1 ]
Protagonist mysteriously survives, but is permanently altered by the magical blast
0% [ 0 ]
Protagonist jumps into a very deep well and into a strange cavern
0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 1
Who Voted: Lebrenth

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 05, 2013 5:01 am    Post subject: Skipped November Reply with quote

Looks like I skipped November for updating this story. Sorry about that. We didn't get any suggestions, so I'm going to make the suggestions myself.

1: The wizards deliberately let the worms in to remind everyone why wizards are needed.

2: The rogue wizard, Lysus, has been attempting to destroy the kingdom that rejected him. The wizards knew and kept it a secret when they should have warned everyone (side note, I'm aware of Lysus' sacrifice and it doesn't invalidate this option)

3: The worms are actually the source of the green paradise's power, and atrocities are committed to extract it.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2014 11:53 am    Post subject: Huh? Votes? Reply with quote

Oh hey, how sneaky! I have three votes now... One on each... figures :S Well I am glad there is some activity here. I probably would have posted another chapter had I known. I'll get back to this soon.
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 10:27 am    Post subject: DP Results, Ch 10 Reply with quote

Ah ha! A vote appears and a tie is broken!

What conspiracy?
The wizards deliberately let the worms in to remind everyone why wizards are needed.
50%
50% [ 2 ]
The rogue wizard, Lysus, has been attempting to destroy the kingdom that rejected him. The wizards knew and kept it a secret when they should have warned everyone.
25%
25% [ 1 ]
The worms are actually the source of the green paradise's power, and atrocities are committed to extract it.
25%
25% [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 4
Who Voted: PopeAlessandrosXVIII, Seraphi, sheik, Tikanni Corazon

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 12:07 pm    Post subject: Chapter 11: Shame and Conspiracy Reply with quote

Chapter 11: Shame and Conspiracy

“What will we do with you?” Galdernum repeated, and spent a moment in thought. A wicked smirk appeared as he said, “You must answer for your crime, of course, but first we must ensure no one forgets what happened to Grysell. Why don’t you stay here a while, and revisit the atrocities that occurred because of your actions.”

The crystal ball responded to his touch, obeying its master and showing the scenes from my memory of the horrible things that happened. Galdernum left the room through an iron door, the only way out of the strange room. I could hear him arguing with Zinfury, but I couldn’t concentrate. The crystal ball kept sneaking into my mind, turning my attention to memories I wanted to forget.

The wizards would not let me forget anything. They made me see and hear and feel it all over again and again. I was unable to maintain a grasp of reality, staggering through the memories, even when the crystal ball was far away. I became the wizards’ mad man, and I don’t know how I survived… who took care of me when I could not even feed myself? Either Zinfury or Galdernum would take me to various cities. I had only a weak awareness of them, for I could perceive nothing, and speak of nothing but the horrors: men, women, and children, being crushed, eaten, falling to their death, or burned alive.

And each time, after sharing my story, the wizards would have the last word. It would be something along these lines, though I can only piece it together from what little I can remember from numerous occasions:

“These terrible events could have been prevented! The barriers can hold for a thousand years, but only if we, the Royal Order of Wizards, are given the resources we need to maintain them! You, who have withheld your taxes, or your wheat, or your lumber, or your ore… you may share the fate of Grysell in your folly!”

The people unleashed their hatred on me with curses and stones, and rose up cheers for the wizards. I had only one ambition: to beg the king to execute me and end my misery. But they would not bring me to him. I must have visited every city except the capitol. Then we went to the outskirts of the kingdom, where the barriers kept out the worms. They gloated over me, mocked me, and they said something I doubt they expected me to remember:

“You sniveling pawn! You still think it was all your fault? You pathetic wreck!” Zinfury spat. “We control everything within the green paradise! We let them in, then we destroyed them like we destroyed you!”

“That’s enough, Zinfury!” Galdernum yelled. “Your recklessness will be our undoing. We still have to bring him to the King.”

“Look at him, Galdernum! There’s nothing left of his mind but what we burned into him. Give him to the King now.”

At last, I would have my chance for peace, when taken in an iron cage to the capitol. We drove through angry streets, and I felt lower than ever. Zinfury’s confession had not lifted my guilt, nor did I really comprehend the gravity of his words, not that it would matter. The ramblings of a mad man would not convince a king.

It was a relief when we entered the palace. The drawbridge over the dark chasm was lifted, and the gates were closed. Here, at least, I would be reviled with a little civility, and with a little luck, my tragic life would be ended.

DP: What happens within the royal palace?
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 7:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, its great to see this up and running again!

I must warn you though, it's been really long since this came out, I've forgotten almost everything about this SG. No worries though, I'll read this again and have a suggestion for you in a few hours at the most Smile
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 7:31 am    Post subject: 3 years ago Reply with quote

Heya Vishal! Yeah, I don't really expect anyone to remember this story. It was started nearly 3 years ago. I just feel like I should finish what I start. I'm happy to hear you're planning to read through it again. I hope you enjoy it!
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 8:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thoroughly enjoyed it, Lebby, though I must say I found myself really confused as to what was going on in the later chapters of the SG and had to re-read them a few times in order to have a clear mental picture of the sequences. I'm guessing that really short chapters aren't my cup of tea, but I must say it's fantastic how you've managed to weave so much information in very few words, without overwhelming your readers. Really well done! Smile

Ah, well, so we have a confession, but we probably will not be able to convince anybody. Either way I think the protagonist would've realized that this is far too serious, and that keeping quiet is not an option. Incorporate that into all of the suggestions please Razz

Three suggestions:

1) The king doesn't even listen to the wizards cuz he is pretty pissed that the wizards destroyed the city, when he clearly only ordered them to make a protective barrier around the city, and then unleash a destructive force on the worms. He sends the wizards into exile, and the wizards somehow take the protagonist with them.

2) A giant hlathlu jumps into the palace out of nowhere, eats one of the wizards and causes massive disarray. The protagonist rescues the king and gets away.

3) The king sentences the protagonist to death, but the wizards protest because they need a scapegoat for any further actions they may have to take.

4) Bardo returns, and provides evidence that corroborates with what the protagonist says he heard.
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 9:47 am    Post subject: Broken perspectives Reply with quote

Groovy, thanks Vishal. Yeah, I suspected the sudden change of perspective would be confusing in an ungood sort of way. I suppose the delirium of our protagonist also doesn't lend itself well to good description, but I want it to seem deliberate, not clumsy. I'll see if I can do better in future chapters.

The short chapters are actually a bit of an experiment. I'm attempting to give the players more control of the story by offering DP's more often. Ideally, more often in RL too, hoping for a chapter a week... but that totally fell apart. :S Looking back at the experiment now, I think 1000 - 1500 words is better. It takes longer to write and read, but it gives plenty of room to address the DP and set up a new DP. Plus, if we're waiting so long for new chapters, it's nice to have something substantial to dine on.

Good suggestions, by the way. I'll wait, just in case, to see if others want to chip in, but it's nice to already have enough options to vote on.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 7:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Broken perspectives Reply with quote

Lebrenth wrote:
Looking back at the experiment now, I think 1000 - 1500 words is better. It takes longer to write and read, but it gives plenty of room to address the DP and set up a new DP. Plus, if we're waiting so long for new chapters, it's nice to have something substantial to dine on.



Totally agreed! I also think longer chapters are more effective because it allows writers to have more control in 'pacing' the chapters and how the plot develops. Shorter chapters tend to move forward in a more breakneck speed, because, each chapter necessarily has to have substance, so I think longer chapters work that way. Smile

Anyhow, Tell me if I've missed this, but the protagonist reaaaally needs a name lol
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 5:23 pm    Post subject: Re: Broken perspectives Reply with quote

Quote:
Anyhow, Tell me if I've missed this, but the protagonist reaaaally needs a name lol


That's funny... he doesn't have a name, does he? Well we've gone this far without one. Why don't we just keep calling him "protagonist"?

The poll is open, by the way. Which one did you like best Vishal?

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 12:48 pm    Post subject: Chapter 12: Final Execution Reply with quote

Chapter 12: Final Execution
It seemed fitting to be left in the dark, in the cage that was my home now. What happened now wasn’t up to me, and I didn’t matter to myself, so I simply laid there and awaited my fate. My former self would have been very excited to be in the royal palace. It is the safest place in the entire kingdom, with the most powerful of enchantments warding off danger, champions riding magnificent griffons guarding it day and night, impenetrable walls, and it floated freely over a very deep chasm. Even if a worm managed to reach the capitol, it couldn’t reach the palace.

Royal guards retrieved me from my cage after an incalculable time in haunted reverie. They yelled at me if I so much as raised my head. I stared at the floor and shuffled toward my doom. From only the corners of my eye, I could see many splendid things. Halls dedicated to the beauty and wonder of the Green Paradise. I’ve heard stories of the gardens and galleries… of the libraries and armories. I found myself creeping out of my madness, ever so slightly, to take sideways glances at the marvels that all the stories told of.

The only thing that stood as strange was the raucous peeling of distant bells. Some remarkable thing was happening in the capitol, beyond my sight. Perhaps it was the people celebrating my arrival, and that I would soon be shown the kind of justice they were all so hungry for. It reminded me of my crimes. I no longer wished to see the marvels of the palace, so I looked back at the ground until I came to the High Court.

The doors of the court were enormous… perhaps two stories high and 16 feet wide, and each carved from a single enormous tree, so they say. Many officials were present, and there wasn’t a single empty chair in this hall. The King sat on his judgement seat which was gilded with gold and shaped into many elaborate designs. The grandness of the throne immediately drew the eye to his majesty sitting 8 feet above the witness stand. His bejeweled robe almost blended into the throne, as though the man and his accouterments and seat were one.

The room jeered and booed me as I entered. The King allowed it for a minute before raising his scepter, ordering silence enforced by a loud minister.

“Bring the prisoner forward,” spoke the King. I walked among the cruel stares to the judgement seat, where I was thrown down on my knees. I noticed the wizards Zinfury and Galdernum were nearby. “Am I going to ask you simple questions and I expect direct answers, do you understand?”

“Yes, your majesty,” I said.

“Are you Tallus of Elden?”

“Yes, your majesty.”

“Were you honor bound and sworn to keep watch for danger at the Ammon Watchtower, beginning in the first of this year and continuing until the first of next?”

“Yes, your majesty.”

“And were you in dereliction of duty at the beginning of the recent tragic events when worms broke through the barrier?”

“Forgive me, your majesty, for it is still my duty to warn the kingdom, and I have something to say that will upset you… if you believe it, which I respectfully doubt you will….”

“Proceed.”

“The barrier was not broken. The wizards let them in.”

A mixture of gossip and laughter filled the hall. The King let it die down naturally.

“I see,” the King said. “And do you have proof of this?”

“It was something I heard Zinfury say. I have no other proof.”

“Your majesty,” Zinfury cried out. “This man would say anything to relieve himself of his guilt.”

“You will mind your tongue, Zinfury!” The King commanded. Zinfury folded his arms and kept his mouth shut. “You will not find yourself capable of educating me about lies I hear from this seat. I have heard so many now, I can detect one from a mile away. I will redirect you, Tallus of Elden, to answer the question I asked.”

“I was,” I said with a moment of pause. Coming to it now, I was not as certain that I wished to die. “I was in dereliction of duty, your majesty.”

“Very good,” the King said through the din of the crowd. “You accept responsibility for the calamities that befell the kingdom, then.”

“…I do.”

“Then there is but one just fate for you, Tallus of Elden. Let the weakness of your head no longer betray the loyalty of your heart. I hereby sentence you to death by beheading.”

“Your majesty!” Zinfury began again during the applause of the audience.

“Your majesty!” Galdernum joined in. The King quieted the crowd by outstretching his hands. “If we could have just a private word with you about the fate of the prisoner, I think perhaps you might reconsider.”

“Very well, you may approach,” The King allowed. Hushed murmuring came from the crowd and I began to tremble. I knew the wizards had no love for me, if anything they wished a worse fate. Perhaps I would not be granted my death wish, or perhaps only after suffering a great deal more. “I see,” the King said audibly with a nod as the wizards continued to whisper to him.

My chest felt like it had collapsed and I felt like I was sinking into the ground. It took me a moment to realize the latter was literally true. Where had all the sand come from? Was it just my own crazed mind, or were others seeing this?

“I have seen the wisdom of the wizards’ words,” the King spoke, addressing the audience, not me. “Death is too kind a punishment for such a terrible—”

Then the King saw me up to my waist in sand. He could see it. Now everyone had noticed, a panic began. The walls and the roof were sprinkling down sand. A fierce and hot wind blew through the palace and blasted the mighty doors off their hinges, and a wave of sand was carried in, enough to bury us all. The whole palace rocked to and fro. They all looked at each other in horror and confusion, but I knew what it was. The wizards had tempted fate, and now fate was here to collect its toll. I never imagined I would be happy about the arrival of a worm, but all I wanted was a quick death. I was certain the worm would oblige me.

We could not stay on our feet as the palace jerked and shook. The roof and half of the court was torn away by an enormous force. Those of us who survived so far could see the worm clearly then. It was larger than any worm ever spoke of in the Green Paradise, large enough to not mind the chasm that was supposed to protect the palace. And behind it was a trail of ruin and the land all around was no longer lush and green, but a vast wasteland as far as we could see.

The worm drew in a mighty breath, and I knew what would follow. Preferring a less painful death, I finished burying myself in the sand, but I could feel the heat of its fiery breath above me and I was certain that the king and all his vassals were dead. As I broke through the glassy melted surface of the sand, I saw the truth of it. Even the wizards were unprepared and burned to charred black masses.

Like it was in Grysell, the magic that held up the palace was failing. The worm’s fire consumed the palace again, and I could hear the screams, but we were descending away from the worm. We went deeper and deeper into the dark chasm, till the worm turned its attention to the rest of the capitol.

I lived. The doomed were now free and the free were now dead. I crawled out of the burning palace, now resting at the bottom of the chasm, far below the surface. Ancient architects had built tunnels out of the bottom of the chasm as a last desperate escape route should the king need it. The king was now dead, and truly so was his kingdom.

The worms overwhelmed everything. All of the green vanished in a few days, and when it was gone, the worms left. The survivors would either die in the wastelands, or become part of the tribe, The Halaea Tribe, that ventured in to save people, who had saved me once already.

That is how I came to wander the wastelands with these nomadic people, and I tell the story to any who will listen as penance for what I had done to make a beautiful thing die. We live a hard life, but we live, and in this tale, there is still hope. For if we once had a Green Paradise, we could have it again. And if we are diligent and without greed, we will find it and we may have a chance at keeping it.


The End
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 12:58 pm    Post subject: Final poll results Reply with quote

So we've come to an end to this story. I hope you've enjoyed it... I'm sorry it took so long. There was a time when I could expect 200 Fables as a reward from the treasury for completing a storygame, but that was a more active age, when the City of IF was like the Green Paradise instead of the desert wastelands. Like our completed tale, this is something we could have again, with diligence. Greed is probably not a problem though. Chinaren owned the greedy persona really well, actually. Smile

Here are the results of the last poll. I was excited to see 3 votes in so short of a time and that there wasn't a tie, so I went for it:

What happens next?
The King exiles the wizards for their reckless destruction [ 0 ]
The hlathlu attacks! Protagonist saves the King [ 1 ]
The protagonist is sentenced to death, but the wizards protest [ 2 ]
Bardo returns, with evidence to support the protagonist [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 3
Who Voted: Emperor, sheik, Vishal Muralidharan



Oh, and Vishal, I luckily figured out in time that our protagonist did have a name after all. Smile

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Clapping

Truly well done, lebby! So happy I took part in this SG, really well written. I also like the parallel you drew between the wasteland and the City in your comment, completely agree with you on that.

Oh, and Tallus. I really DO NOT remember that name. Was it mentioned before in the story? Im not sure lol xP
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 6:32 am    Post subject: Talking about Tallus Reply with quote

Thanks, Vishal. Yeah, the name was mentioned in Chapter 3, back in August of 2011. Smile I'm the author and I didn't even remember, so don't sweat it.
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