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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 8:36 pm Post subject: Bushido: Chapter 9: The Physical Advantages |
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What happened before: When Kihachi overhears robbers planning to destroy his village, he decides to go and search for samurai in the nearest town, were he finds two possible friends, so his companions and him split forces to meet both men at the same time. After a brisk meeting with the samurai they convince him. However, Kihachi goes to a gambler that proves to be evil, and when the Samurai tries to help, Motoko is taken hostage. Kihachi is to do nothing. After a brief fight, Motoko is freed and the group gains money and a new companion. After trying some samurai and hiring them, Kihachi wanders about, and walks into some sort of discussion. He has to choose wether or not to take some swords and rescue a girl that has been captured in the discussion. After he rescues her and she leaves, Kihachi gathers enough people and sets back to his village. They ambush the robbers and kill them, but to no avail, the village is lost. Kihachi ignores the gambler and journey to his father. When he reaches his father five years later, he is thrown out, and he journey’s back to fulfill his promise to the gambler, only to find the gambler’s son in charge. And in the same household is the bandit that killed your village. Kihachi decides to avenge his village…
Bushido
Kihachi had waited. Everytime the scar of that monstous man leered at him from across the hall, or anywhere he was standing, he had to control the urge to let his fury go wild.
But enough is enough. A man can only control himself for so long.
And yet, he could not attack his masters servant without his permission. His hakama gently brushing the waxed wooden floor, and his arms crossed, he made his way down the steps to his master.
The sound of the pant leg cloth scratched at each other.
Zwwiiiip
Zwwiiiip
Zwwiiiip
Kihachi dropped to his knees outside Monako’s room.
“Come in.” came the voice from inside.
The door slid open. Kihachi got up, his eyes looking at the floor in a respectful way. The man seemed to be writing something on his small desk. Kihachi walked in front of his master, dropped on his knees again, and bowed.
Monako looked up from his work curiously.
“Sometimes I wonder why you came back. It makes no sense. You could have run away, and nobody would have found you. What is it that truly ties you here even now?”
Kihachi sat up at his masters voice.
“Sir, it was a… promise. My honor binds me here.”
Monako shrugged carelessly. He resumed his letter while talking.
“Well, what do you want?”
Kihachi’s eyes shifted to the letter. He quickly checked himself and looked back at the man’s turned face.
“Sir, I do not mean to test your compassion or patience, but, if someone were to… ask permission to kill me, perhaps another servant what would you say?”
Monako dropped his brush on the desk. He turned his head slowly torwards Kihachi. Monako’s cold eyes stared right at Kihachi.
“Fool, do you really think I’d let anybody kill my own servant? Even if it were you to die, do you think I’d allow it? Do you?”
Even if the room hadn’t been bare, giving him an excuse to look away, Kihachi would have returned his answer with his eyes fixed on Monako anyway.
“I thought as much, sir. Pardon my imprudence.”
Kihachi got up slowly and bowed.
He walked backward torwards the door.
Zwiiiip
Zwiiiip
Zwiiiip
Just as slowly, he got down to his knees.
Then he slid the door to a close amid the icy stares of the man inside.
_____________________________________________________________
He sat there, contemplating the knife in his hands. How strange, that the knife that took his friends life would take his life as well.
He remembered everything perfectly, was it not his first kill? Was it not his first step to prove himself as a samurai? A cold blooded murderer, is that what his first kill had made him? Heartless, a bearer of unconventional ideals?
The man had joined them in the last minute. He had betrayed them, he had tried to run away.
Kihachi had felt anger. This man was running away, leaving his friends to suffer many evil fates.
He wanted to vent his anger and impatience to join the fight on the man.
Maybe if he just hit the man unconcious with a tree branch or something, that would settle him.
But then….that cruel knife had penetrated into his poor friends heart, and into his as well.
Such useless loss fueled and fed his furious despair with supernatural strength. He felt himself hold the branch higher, his leg pump up and down faster, and then he felt himself bring the branch down on the mans skull.
So much killing…ever from that first moment…
The broken branch, laying on the ground, the dead coward, laying on the ground, his old friend, laying on the ground….and clutched in that malicious man’s hands, holding a prized position even in death, lay the simple knife.
It had seemed better than nothing at that time, so he took it.
And now, this same knife would help him end his own life.
Seppuku…
The word seemed to emanate sarcasm.
“Better honor than life, eh?” it said.
He had disobeyed his master. Now he must pay the price. All actions of a samurai deserve a reward. This time, the reward was to take his life in honor.
A memory of watching a samurai just like himself, sitting in the same place he was, with the same knife flashed in his mind.
But it wasn’t a memory. It was the spirit of all those who had gone before him.
See? he said to himself. You’re not the first one. You’ll be fine.
But he was afraid. No, no he wasn’t. Yes, yes he was. He debated it in his mind.
He sat there, next to the dead body, splashed in blood.
It wasn’t a body anymore. It was cut in half, straight through the spinal cord. His ugly scar was no longer visible, his face was completely covered in blood.
The blood started soaking into the boards.
It spread all around the body which wasn’t a body.
And then the door slammed open, and a flurry of color and happiness jumped in.
Lady Jinzun was here.
Kihachi recognized her immediately. He had always carried her in his mind, always wondering about her. Who she was, what she was doing at that moment, what her purpose in life was. Always.
Always.
He had never realized, but now, as he saw her again, he did.
He loved this woman.
A stranger in his life, someone he did not know at all.
Yet he loved her.
Strange, isn’t it?
She was the perfect model of what he had always wanted. And thinking of her more had only served to increase his longing.
His longing to be accepted by her, to hold her in his arms.
She was the girl he had once encountered in the night.
Her soft eyes shone with spirit.
Kihachi's chest swelled with excitement.
And then this hope of life, dressed in a colorful kimono, and wearing her hair in a bun saw the dead body in the floor.
Kihachi knew, that if she were only to scream, or run back down the stairs, that merciless dagger would plunge into his stomach without hestitation.
But she didn’t.
Her exhilariated face did not lose it’s color.
Her eyebrows raised in surprise as she recognized him.
She smiled.
“What are you doing in my room, Kikihachi?”
He stared in amazement.
Had the Gods given him a new chance?
“It seems you didn’t like that guy too much, did you?”
“He slaughtered my whole village,” said Kihachi. “I had to do it.”
She bent down next to him.
“What are you going to do with that knife?”
Kihachi hit the wall with it carelessly, or what he hoped to look like careless.
A fleck of paint chipped off.
Lady Jinzun caught a glint of yellow from where the paint had stood a second ago.
“I was testing it. By the way, my name is Kihachi, not Kikihachi” said he.
Lady Kinzun changed her expression from indifference to passion.
“Kihachi, let’s go away, far away. I love you, and you love me, so let’s go as far as we can.” She grabbed his arm tightly and rested herself on his shoulder.
Kihachi was taken aback. He flinched at her touch.
But was this not true love?
Why follow the way of the samurai into death?
Here was his chance.
But something else pulled at his heart. The honor of men.
“Please” said the girl at his side.
It was a hard fight.
When he loooked at the girl, the decision seemed easy.
But then he thought back to all the samurai, the true spirit of the samurai.
It becomed to him to be loyal to that which he had promised with determination to lead.
Bushido.
It closed around him, with only a light glow to fight it at his side.
The blood of the body started filtering through the boards, down into the room under it.
Monako and one of the most famous lords in the country sat underneath these boards, having lunch.
Monako’s future laid upon this man's decision.
To be the owner of a gambling house, or to be the retainer of this lord.
He desperately hoped everything would go right.
Too bad for him that something had happened which already would.
And still Kihachi stood still, thinking who had control over his heart.
Was it the spiritual world, or the physical?
Hope you guys enjoy this! _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Last edited by D-Lotus on Mon Mar 28, 2005 10:53 am; edited 2 times in total
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saxon215 Guest
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 8:58 pm Post subject: |
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nice one
the constant spacing was a bit odd but it added to the wierd affect of not knowing what plane of existance your on
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 9:06 pm Post subject: |
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Really?
I think I'm developing my style!
Thanks sax.
What do you think we should do? _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Topics: 58 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 3:40 am Post subject: |
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Great chapter, full of emotion. Pleased the creepy old bastard got chopped into sushi. I liked the touch the pictures added.
To hell with the honor of men. Go for the girl, and happiness. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 8:52 am Post subject: |
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You are certainly developing your style D! And I think you might be learning more about writing a whole story than simply linking some scenes togehter. The flow, the depth, your characters have all improved so immensely.
This is a tough one. I know the path the samurai followed and the honor required of them. But love and women can do funny things to a man. Kihachi has not had an ordinary life. Personally, I think it is time that he found some happiness. His honor has been gained in the eyes of his ancestors in completeing his quest to avenge his village.
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:14 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks guys... ethereal, didn't you find any mistakes in somewhere?
I was hoping you would _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:43 pm Post subject: |
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I think you had too many ooooo's in one of the words. Is that sufficient? _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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I think this was the best chapter yet. It seems like it had a certain rythm going on. Way easier to read than some of your earlier offerings.
As for what to do; I am at a loss right now.
Turn your back on bushido, or turn your back on love. Tough call
M-Lotus
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saxon215 Guest
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Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 4:10 am Post subject: |
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lol but can we not love and practise the arts at the same time perhaps it is time to use the strength of love as a powerful ally in battle
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Reiso Respected Citizen
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Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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Well done, D. I especially like the way he asked Monako for permission without really asking. Neither of them had any delusions about what was going on, but what was spoken can not be incriminating until action is taken. Nicely played.
As for what to do . . . aaaag, I don't know! You always have such hard calls to make. When I see the poll I'll pick one and vote. _________________
Sector 17 -- Rebuilding... ... ...
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter--bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter
And because it is my heart." -- Stephen Crane
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 1:50 pm Post subject: |
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lol, thanks.
Quote: | The sound of the pant leg cloth scratched at each other. |
Did any of you catch something akward here? _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Muaddib Comrade
Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Topics: 30 Posts: 1765
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Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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Very nice chapter, though sommin tells me a final decision is coming?
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Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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Pretty soon, yes, but not quite yet!
- D-Lotus
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Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 8:43 pm Post subject: |
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lol i cant wait, this story may be drawing to a close but its certainly an excellent one and it will be buried in the hall of legends along with other greats such as it go D
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 9:59 am Post subject: |
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Bushido should have it's OWN hall of legends! _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 10:28 am Post subject: |
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A great chapter D, this story has really been through some changes in style.
I think it's been helped by the other stories you've been writing - putting you in different minds about style.
Go for the girl, kihachi deserves some happiness. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 11:29 am Post subject: |
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Even after what I told you? :wink:
Well, the reason I told you what I told you was because I knew it wouldn't influence you.
But you don't gotta be very smart to make the connection...I think I gave enough details, didn't I? _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Last edited by D-Lotus on Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:43 am; edited 1 time in total
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saxon215 Guest
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Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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i cant remeber who said it but they said that if you try and bend the storyn a different way to what the audience wants that it will be bad and i'd hate to see bushido loose intrest so close to its end
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:41 am Post subject: |
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What the hell are you talking about?
Oh, I forgot to add a little wink emoticon.....
Ok, I think that changes the meaning, now am I trying to bend anyone? _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 10:09 am Post subject: |
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I think I'd have struggled to make the connection without your help - too many names and too much reading of other stuff inbetween for me to notice subtle things like that.
It didn't influence my decision though. :wink: _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 10:19 am Post subject: |
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good _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 8:23 pm Post subject: |
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hahahaa sorry i was in paranoia mode when i posted that and he kinda makes odd assumptions my point is im not sure what my point is
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 11:08 pm Post subject: |
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lol _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 12:07 am Post subject: |
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that and the fact i smoked a couple of rooms worth of carpet that day
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 9:53 am Post subject: |
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Anyway, I'll wait one last day for late comers (like Ravenwing) and then I'll post the poll up. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 10:09 am Post subject: |
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OK, chapter is closed is closed. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You can reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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