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Chinaren
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 Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:28 am Post subject: ARENA OF DEATH! Game over man! GAME OVER!!! |
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You are walking down the street one sunny afternoon when the Public Announcement Magic Mirror suddenly flashes red and yellow, catching your eye. You, and others around you stop as the large mirror clouds, obscuring your reflection.
The cloud is suddenly replaced by the image of a presenter stood outside a large building. He his holding a microphone in his hands and his antenna are waving excitedly.
“Citizens of IF!” he booms. “Are you a deadly warrior, powerful mage or cunning assassin? Do you wield a mighty sword, cast potent spells or dispatch your enemies ruthlessly? Can you hold your own against enemies bent on your destruction?
Chinaren Enterprises* is pleased to announce, coming soon to this very thread:
THE ARENA OF DEATH!!
Entry is a mere 40Fables, and entry forms can be found in our booth over in the marketplace forum.
If you don’t wish to enter, then come along for a fun day out for all the family! (Kids and seniors half price). Watch and cheer as your favorite hero disembowels that pesky wizard! Scream with delight as that powerful mage toasts that Paladin with a well placed fireball!
Fancy a quick wager? Place bets on who will walk out of the arena alive! It’s fun fun fun!!
So don’t touch that control wand! The ARENA OF DEATH will be here soon. Now for some messages from our sponsor, writer of such Storygames as 'Narg the Nasty' and 'A Story of Greed'…”
*Chinaren Enterprises is a subsiduary of Chinaren inc.
---
Do you:
Carry on with your walk and forget about the whole thing?
Make a note to watch carefully when it starts?
Rush over to the MARKETPLACE forum to immediately enter the competition?
_________________
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Last edited by Chinaren on Sun Dec 11, 2005 7:29 pm; edited 14 times in total
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evilhomer28
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:56 am Post subject: |
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| this seems like an rp and a way for you to be greedy and get loads of money
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Shogun
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:05 pm Post subject: |
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Chinaren you greedy bastard! I like it!
_________________
I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Smee
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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*Mage walks in and stares at all the silly people with swords and daggers. An unfortunate sneeze sends out a fireball and they all die.*
"Whoops, sorry" 
Great idea Chinaren.
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:33 pm Post subject: |
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Interesting... 
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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| evilhomer28 wrote: | | this seems like an rp and a way for you to be greedy and get loads of money |
It's not a RP (I don't believe) 'cos only I will be writing the chapters. It is experimental, and it is because I am enterprising* and want loads of money,  but mainly 'cos I thought it would be fun.
The difference is. Well, go the shop in the marketplace. It will be open soon and everything will be explained there.
*Okay, greedy.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 5:12 pm Post subject: |
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| lordofthenight wrote: | founds fairly kl
you're not going to try and make us pay to watch are you? |
Didn't think of that!! 
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 7:49 pm Post subject: Prologue |
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The view is far above the thriving city of IF. Soaring through the low clouds on a clear and sunny day. It swoops down lower, lower until it is skimming the rooftops. Over major streets and minor lanes, past the Huge Mayoral mansion of Key and the other grand houses of the Council aristocracy.
On it goes, flying lower now, over the heads of busy citizens going about their daily business. Here we are in Muaddib’s district, a squalid place where ladies of disrepute gather and call out ‘Fancy a good time fella?” to the passing rogues.
Up again, over the red tiled rooftops and back into the more reputable parts of town, towards a large round building reminiscent of the Roman Coliseums. Hordes of people are flocking to the white structure, and many more are selling various goods in small stalls around it.
Now we sweep up and over into the Arena itself. Crowds line the stands, and a wave of noise washes over us. We soar out over the white sands where midgets in clown outfits riding dogs are fighting mock battles.
Finally we turn to a balcony overlooking the stadium. As we zoom in closer and closer we can see two figures with microphone-orbs in their hands. One is wearing a kind of tweed jacket and has three eyes and red skin. The other is wearing a robe of black and white squares, making him look a little like a chess-board, and had two antenna which wave about frantically over his bald head.
Closer, closer, closer….
“Welcome welcome viewers to the First annual ARENA OF DEATH tournament! My name is Bob McBobsky and with me here today is my good friend Bub Bubbabub.”
“Yes indeedy! Thank-you Bob! And it’s a wonderful day here in the ARENA OF DEATH, brought to you by Chinaren Enterprises, vote for him in Storygame of the Month!”
“Thank-you Bub! And the good citizens of IF are already streaming into the arena for the contest, which promises to be an action packed gore-fest!”
“That’s right Bob! If you haven’t entered yet, get yourself down to the Market place RIGHT NOW and enter.” He holds his hand to his ear a moment, “And I have just been informed that the first two contestants will have their entry paid for by Chinaren himself!”
“What a guy eh Bub?”
“That’s right Bob, a stand up fellow if there ever was one, generous to a fault.”
“Yes indeedy! Bub and I will bring you LIVE commentary on the action as it happens direct from our flying-eyes which roam the arena. So what are you waiting for? The crowds are eager for blood! Get yourself over to the market place RIGHT NOW and sign up! We are waiting…”
<fade to black>
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Dobs
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| Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 3:16 am Post subject: |
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| Like it. Sine me up!!!
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 3:22 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Here we are in Muaddib’s district, a squalid place where ladies of disrepute gather and call out ‘Fancy a good time fella?” to the passing rogues. |
Lol, Im so happppy I voted for Shady Stoat. :biggrin:
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 6:57 am Post subject: |
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...Drink Smoka-colaaaaaa....
...and now, back to our hosts... Bob and Bub!!
"Welcome back folks! This is Bob, and with me is Bub overlooking the Arena. The Mayor himself has just sat down in his private box! I understand he is sponsoring one of the competitors! But wait! The first contestants are entering the ARENA OF DEATH!"
"Yes sir Bob! These brave men, women and things are the first to put their money where there gonads (or equivalent) are in our booth on Market street!"
"Look at these fine three contenders Bub! Raise your tankard of mead and salute them!" (Drinks from large glass of ale).
"That's right Bob, just now we can see three figures coming out for the opening ceromony. When we get enough contenders the spectators will choose who will be the first onto the killing fields!"
"So who do we have Bub?"
"The first in line is a short fellow. A brave halfling no less!" Squints at a piece of paper "Let's hear it for Bungo Kneecapper - the Homocidal Hobbit!"
"It says here that Bungo's favorite weapon is the pick, and he is wanted in three cities for abusive language and granny snatching!"
(Crowd cheers)
"Who's next Bob? Do I see an ELF on the grounds?"
"You do indeed! Here we have the delectable Silex the Elf, and her famed longbow!"
(Crowd yells obsenities)
"Whooo! The crowd seem to like her Bob!"
"Sure do Bub! Finally, for now, we have a real hero here!"
"For sure! Standing a full two meters tall, this giant of a man has wavy snow-white hair and the strong, chiselled features that mark him as a true hero."
(Women cat call from the crowd and throw flowers and knickers)
"Popular with the ladies too it seems! Look at the size of that axe!!"
"Right on Bub! So ladies and gentlethings here are the first three to enter the ARENA OF DEATH!
We need more hero's to enter the field before battle can commence, so head on down to the market place and sign up!
What's the worst that could happen?"
<switches back to adverts>
"Do you suffer from excessive nasal hair?....
_________________
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 8:30 am Post subject: |
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| chinaren wrote: |
What's the worst that could happen?"
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*wryly* I'm sure you'll be the first to let us know...
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 3:59 pm Post subject: |
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| lordofthenight wrote: | im still liking it
dont make us pay to watch - some of us are poor |
Only joking! Watching will be free of course!
You aren't that poor, you easily have enough Fables to enter!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 5:19 pm Post subject: |
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...."this isn't your baby Smee, I was with Key all the time..."
<cuts to holding picture. Voice over speaks:>
"We interrupt 'IF Those Were Our Lives' to bring you this important announcment from the ARENA OF DEATH!"
<cut to Bob standing outside a shop in the marketplace>
"This is Bob McBobsky here down in Market street. I am standing outside with our two newest competitors AND the news that the entry fee has now been slashed to only 20Fables!"
(turns to a mean looking man in armor)
"This is Barak the Cleric. Entrant number 4. What do you think of this news Barak?"
"Well, I'm pretty *beep*ed off with it Bob, I mean why do I have to pay 40Fables when some other rat only has to pay 20? Let me tell you..."
"Yes, thank you Barak." (turns to the other figure, a thin person in a long dark cloak and a mask)
"Here is entrant number 5, do you have any comments for us?"
(Competitor speaks with a low hiss) "I willll tear outtt your brainss and eatt them for breakfastttt."
"Excellent excellent! So there you have it! Come on down here and sign up! Now, back to 'If Those Were Our Lives...' "
<cuts back>
..."No way is that my baby! Look at it! It has a forked tail!..."
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D-Lotus
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| Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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Lol, this is good, but make sure you progress on the other storygames, especially those that have been paid for.
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 Chapter 5: The Rendezvous 
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2005 9:07 pm Post subject: |
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| D-Lotus wrote: | | Lol, this is good, but make sure you progress on the other storygames, especially those that have been paid for. |
Never fear, they are all moving on. Well, with the possible exception of Planet:X, I seem to be low on inspiration for that one, so we may put that on pause for a while.
Voting for GREED will begin today. I am pretty busy today and over the weekend, but things will still keep going! It doesn't take me long to write a chapter once I get started.
Narg ep11 is already in the works, GREED will have a short poll and, when bidding for Key the Chamber pot finishes then I will start work on chapter 3. My Cubeworld story is already written for about another 4 chapters so I only have to cut and paste it, 507 will take a little longer, but I am still well within the one post a month minimum!!!
Now sorry, I have to actually do some work. Bah.
[/b]
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Hyperion
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:16 am Post subject: |
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| Right LotN, that will be 70 fables for the death tax, 90 fables for the night tax and 20 fables for the tax tax please...
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Idea master
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 3:40 pm Post subject: |
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| chinaren wrote: | Here is entrant number 5, do you have any comments for us?"
(Competitor speaks with a low hiss) "I willll tear outtt your brainss and eatt them for breakfastttt." |
RUN FROM THE ILLITHID! I hate mind flayers...devourers...grr. Vampiric ones are no better. And if you don't understand this random outburst, then you've not played enough Baulder's gate.
| Hyperion wrote: | | Right LotN, that will be 70 fables for the death tax, 90 fables for the night tax and 20 fables for the tax tax please... |
I will tax you all into oblivion! NO SETTING FOOT IN MY MANSION GROUNDS! Survivors may not live to the lawsuit.
| lordofthenight wrote: | fair enough
if you give me your soul |
Hmm. Sell your soul for 200 fables...nah. I'd rather have world domination! Or destruction, whichever one is harder to achive.
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...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil.
...No plans yet.
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Shogun
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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Most excellent! I can't wait for the next annoucement. I like that part in the beginning 'bout fauna, smee and Key!
_________________
I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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two points IM, illithids shouldn't talk to the 'inferior' races, they should simply stun them with a mind blast and brainwash them into being there slaves
and i'm going to rule the world - not you, i have back up, support and plans already made
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Shogun
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:42 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, and I'm one of Night's "backup"
_________________
I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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Shogun
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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I was kidding.....But what the heck! I'll join anyways!
_________________
I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt and I'm
Wiggled like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt
Pay attention to your twisted little indiscretions
I've got no right to way, I'm just caught up all the battles
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D-Lotus
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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Well, this story better have a decision point soon, or Key will find out and demolish the arena.
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 6:38 pm Post subject: Start your voting! |
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<voiceover>
"And it's 13 O'clock and it's time for....
ARENA OF DEATH!! Here's your hosts... Bob and Bub!"
<Canned cheering and camera switches to Bob and Bub in the Arean>
"Welcome welcome one and all! This is Bob MCBobsky..."
"...and I'm Bub Bubbabub..."
"We are here today to start the eyeballs rolling! Lined up on the white sands of death are our first eight competitors. We have met five of them already, so Bub, who is number six?"
"His name is Rathier Bob, apparently some sort of scribe?"
"Mmm, he looks like a libarian with that book under his arm!" (laughs)
"Entrant number seven is Rufus, he is some kind of mage, not sure what though.." <flicks through his papers looking puzzled>
"well, we had better hope he can stand the pace Bub, he looks to be about 80 years old, all tall and thin with that white hair!"
"Finally we have some hoity toity foreigner, a grey elf warrior by the name of, how do you say this? Le Chevyl...iieee.y Mal-fat?"
"That's Le Chevaliey Mal-Fait Bub, he's from the far shores of the city of OF!"
"Damn Johhn Foreigner to me Bob!"
"Okay people! Let's get this show on the road! You can see down there on the sands our contestants, eager to meet their fate! Now then... WHO shall be the first into the Arena?
"The first round will send three contestants into the ring at the same time, and it may not be fatal! Survivors of the first round will go into a decider to join the winners in round 2."
"Let's cut to the chase Bob! Spectators, please vote for who should go into the arena! The three competitors with the most votes will be first in!"
"Details on each competitor will be posted in our shop on Market street!"
"That's right Bob, and remember it's not too late to join!"
"So what are you waiting for? Let's get voting!!!"
<pauses and turns to Bob>
"Did you see the rack on that Elf Bob? I wouldn't mind giving her a... Eh what? We're still on air? Oh fu..."
<Cuts to adverts>
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Idea master
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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Let's see how well that Librarian fights...
Cause everybody hates a know it all.
"Those that think they know it all upset those of us who do."
_________________
...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil.
...No plans yet.
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:04 pm Post subject: |
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I voted for the foreigner. I want to see how the City of OF trains its fighters. 
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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Bungo the Halfling. I want to see how much of the Arena Merchandise he manages to steal 
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Smee
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| Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 2:23 am Post subject: |
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"Bungo Kneecapper - the Homocidal Hobbit!"
Let no granny's be safe.
I love the foreigner from OF though. 
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Phang
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| Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Idea master wrote: | | I will tax you all into oblivion! |
I suggest you change that before I am unable to control the inevitable outburst.
Besides, the r...*claps hand over mouth* You have 1 day...then I cannot survive without releasing the powerful might of such an outburst...
_________________
Stuff here
Da Huuuuub
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Hyperion
Guest
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| Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Ugh. I finally gave him the money, minus the undeath tax... I'll be in soon. Rufus has no chance against a Blademage. :o
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D-Lotus
Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
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| Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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I voted the foreigner.
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Hyperion
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| Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Ugh. Whoever goes in first, knowing Chinaren, will die horribly. Arena of Death suggests all sorts of nasty traps. He'll be the canary in the coal mine...
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Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8893
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
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| Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 3:10 am Post subject: Current voting |
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<Announcers voice:
“At 10pm we once again encounter the horrors of the damned with our daily Movie of the week: “IF came from the Grave.” First though, we have a special edition of our regular ‘Interview with Some Bloke in a Bar’ featuring special guest host Bob McBobsky”…
Scene cuts to a intro with ghastly music, featuring clips from past episodes including ‘The One where Smee smacks the Chief Judge in the ear when he was drunk’ and ‘Shogun’s infamous scene with the transsexual spider creature’… Finally zooms in on Bob standing in a corridor in front of a metal door, with microphone orb in hand…>
<Bob speaks in a low voice>
“Welcome viewers, whilst we wait for the crowd to decide who shall enter the first match of round one, we have been granted the special privilege of an interview with our gracious Mayor of the City…Key himself. We are outside the entrance to his private box in the arena waiting for his bodyguard to open…” <interrupted as a large creature in a black suit and sunglasses opens the door behind him.> “…and here we go!”
<Bob turns round and follows the bodyguard. The camera follows jerkily showing Bob’s workmans’ bum as he climbs the stairs panting heavily. They enter a lavishly decorated corridor and then, after a short body search where the camera is bounced around, they finally enter Key’s private box.
Camera pans around to show a richly furnished room, with Jacuzzi, swimming pool and sumptuous furniture. Erotic oil paintings line the walls and scantily clad young maidens are draped around the place, oiling each others backs. And fronts.
Finally the camera swings around to see the rotund figure of the Mayor, dressed in fine silk garments, reclining on a couch. Two maids are holding and peeling grapes and another one is feeding him the ready ones. A mug of ale is perched on a small oak table by his arm, and the remains of stuffed and roasted swan, half eaten, is next to that. A naked girl is kneeling by the couch and the shape of her head can be seen bobbing up and down under his robe.
Key sees Bob and the camera come in and hastily shoos the girls away. They run off giggling, and at least one of them wiping her mouth.
Bob: “Mr. Mayor, sorry to intrude when you are busy with matters of state, we appreciate your time is valuable.”
“I'm always happy to speak with the press, Bob. It's a wonderful night to be down here at the arena.”
“So, I won’t waste your time but get straight to the questions. Firstly, many people are wondering, are you a sponsor of one of the candidates?”
“I'm glad you asked that, Bob, because I want to set the record straight about this. I'm a big supporter of this tournament because of the contribution it brings to the local economy, and I'm looking forward to the show like everyone else, but there's absolutely no truth to these rumors that I've personally sponsored a candidate. That would be a conflict of interest, and I would never do that.“
“I see. And is there a Mrs Mayor of IF?”
“Oh, yes, of course. She flies in and out of the City from time to time, taking different forms and changing her name. A few of the long-term residents of the City have had sightings of her. A wonderful woman, the love of my life.”
“Ah. I have heard some reports you were seen with some of floozies the other night down in Muaddibs' district?”
“No comment.”
“Is it true you have a horde of Fables stacked away in a secret house in the City?”
“Ha ha! That's a good one, Bob. No, as anyone can see, I've got the same stories to write and bills to pay as any working family in the City of IF. Why just recently, I was forced to ask for donations just to preserve my dignity in the Auction of a local popular thread. But that's a story for another time. Piles of fables, ha ha!”
“Do you have any comment about the running of the Council and the rumors of all night orgies at the Town Hall?”
“Ha ha! You're such a kidder, Bob. Well, all I have to say is: how come I wasn't invited? Ha ha!”
“Could you say a few words to the competitors please?”
“Warriors, I salute you! May the best fighter win, and the rest of you die in an entertaining way!”
“Thank-you for taking the time to speak to us Mr. Mayor.”
“My pleasure, Bob. Good luck to you, and I hope I can count on your support in the next election.”
<Bob turns and speaks to the camera>
“So there you have it folks. Our very own mayor tells it like it is! Remember to vote on the competitors for the first match of round 1! This is Bob McBobsky live, from the Mayors private box…”
<Mayors voice from off camera>
“Have you done? Now get that bastard camera out of here, and if I ever see you again I will have your head torn off and…”
<Screen goes black as camera is forcibly turned off>
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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