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D-Lotus
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Joined: 21 Oct 2004
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Location: Hollywood, USA
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 Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 8:07 pm Post subject: The Proposal |
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The new chapter is taking me forever to write, and I doubt I'll finish soon; so I'm going to post half a chapter with the resolution of the last story to compensate.
This is a storygame; you read, you suggest, you vote.
Story so far: We are with Sankala, the Finnish soldier.
The man adjacent to him stroked the mane of his horse as he watched Sankala curiously. the horse shaked its head and snorted, stamping its feet against the ground. Sankala folded the letter neatly four times after he rested the axe on his leg, and then introduced the paper in his pocket. He grasped his axe again, and lifted it above his head. The axe whistled down and hit the log with force. The messenger stroked his horse’s mane and awaited an answer. The axe swung again and again. Finally Sankala turned to him, sweating. He nodded affirmatively. The messenger smiled, stroked his horse once again, and mounted it with one leap. Sankala stood watching as the horse trotted up the street and around the corner beneath the setting sun.
________________________
He sat at her side, watching the grass rustle in the wind. He saw her shiver and took off his coat. She took it gratefully and looked at him expectantly. He sat again on the dry grass and lay his head on her lap. She stroked his face and smiled. He looked away momentarily as she stroked his face again and awaited his question. Finally Sankala turned to her as the wind gently lapped against his face.
“I love you.” He said.
“I know.” She smiled.
“But I also love my family.”
She looked at him, puzzled.
“Marian, I cannot go with you.”
He stared into her clear brown eyes.
“Why?”
He sighed. “I can’t explain. But you can still stay with me.”
She smiled. Her almond hair flew in wisps around her.
“How?”
Sankala pulled himself up and thought before speaking.
“You can never see your father again, or your family. You can never return to your motherland and must live in Finland always, with me. You will take a new name and lie about your identity. You will learn Finnish to the point where your accent is irrecognizable. You will not live as you have lived to this moment. You will live in hardship. All I can offer you is my eternal love.”
He spoke slowly, so she would understand. She looked up at him and closed her eyes. He began sweating, but the wind dried the perspiration from his forehead. It blew from everywhere, suddenly and with force. She breathed in deeply.
“No.”
The wind kept blowing and whistling in the open grassfield. She took off his coat and handed it to him. He took it as she cleared her hair from her face.
“It would only hinder us both.”
He looked at her, saddened.
“I see.”
She smiled and stroked his face once again.
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
Sankala watched as she walked briskly towards the path leading to the village and turned past some blooming saplings under the dwindling sun.”
“What happened next, monsieur?”
He smirked.
“I was born, of course. My mother told me the story of my father. He died soon after while defending a raid, but achieved the acceptance of his family he so yearned for. I myself just came back from the very place. I met my half brothers and my father’s wife there. Not bad people at all, but very proud. They wouldn’t even talk to me at first.”
Again, the passengers relapsed into thought and the only sound heard was the increasing drumming of the rain. Burnwick shot glances around him. It was his turn, and now that the others had contributed, he could not escape from telling his story. He smiled hopefully as no one seemed to be talking. The traveler was staring out of the blurred window. He looked at the French girl to make sure she was as pensative as the others, but accidentaly she caught his eyes.
“Monsieur, were you not going to tell us the story of your beautiful watch?”
Burnwick tried smiling, but discovered again that it was useless.
“Well, I guess.”
The traveler turned from the window and watched. The young man snapped from his reverie and watched Burnwick and the girl simultaneously. The French girl, Lucille, beamed. Burnwick sighed and commenced the only tale he knew; his own story.
_________________
 Chapter 5: The Rendezvous 
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Ravenwing
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Joined: 18 May 2004
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| Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 12:35 pm Post subject: |
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Ah, the pleasure of having Internet finally.... 
Nice half a chapter, D. I am a bit sad that the relationship didn't really work out, but at least the narrator's father was able to achieve most of what he wanted. I guess it shows we can't get everything we want without a little disappointment. Hope you get out of your writers' block.
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New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
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Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 1:49 pm Post subject: |
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I'm glad ravenwing posted because I missed this somehow.
Very nice chapter and I'm glad to have caught it.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 2:19 pm Post subject: |
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D, you still alive there? I hope you haven't been drowned in writers' block. That would be unfortunate.
*grabs an apple, and waits out for the continuation of the chapter*
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 8:41 am Post subject: |
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:biggrindo any of you play halo2
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Ravenwing
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Location: Virginia
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| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 2:52 pm Post subject: |
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Are you sure you're posting on the right site? This is a writers' site. If you would like to do an RPG, there is a forum.
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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