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 Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 7:03 am Post subject: |
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Wow - lots of options there - and although it was short, there were a lot of details in there. A lot of potential background, perhaps.
Norral is ambitious. I don't think he's going to want to be a mere footsoldier forever. It's even possible that he's going to want to take command of this game at some point.
He'll toe the line for now, but I see him choosing the mission that gives him the most chance of personal gain.
Revenge would be a pleasure - but what would he get out of it personally, after the screams had faded?
Tracking down new Mages would perhaps be a temptation - but at the end of the day, they get taken off for re-training and re-assignment. He gets nothing.
Finding treasures, however, might provide him with more of the power he craves. If anything is powerful enough to be worth the risk, he might hold it back from the Leader - or even use it to challenge his way to a more worthy place in the hierarchy.
I'd say go for the artefacts. 
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Stubby
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| Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 8:45 am Post subject: |
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F5 Stoat
what else is there to say on the subject?
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 10:43 am Post subject: |
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I don't know - I think he might try to go for the mages himself.
Defeating the mages who caused his old master so much trouble could really prove himself in the eyes of the Leader, and cement his reputation. I also suspect it would appeal to his nature, and the need for revenge that I suspect would still be burning.
That's the thing about vengance - no matter what you do you never feel to have done enough - you always want more.
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| Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 11:45 am Post subject: |
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Short but sweet Mr. Smee! Good chapter. 
I agree with Stoat mostly; I think that if we are going to play it how Norral would, then he would either go after the mages or find the artifacts (though I personally would like to see him go after the potential recruits and emflikars. I see a tie in to Stoat's story  ), as I think he would see the most gain from those, either physically or helping out with his rise through the Sempa ranks.
I think he would probably go for the revenge attack however. I think that opting to go after the mages will endear him to the council, as they will see ambition and courage. They may want the artifacts, but they may also detect too much personal agenda in that option. Best to stay on thier good side. If they have one... 
*holds breath* 
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 12:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Mosuren was a sour-faced man with a perpetual sneer, but despite appearances often spoke as if he were relaxing on a picnic in some woodland clearing... |
Sweet description of such a harsh man.
Of course all three options are appealing; however, I believe our ambitious Norral will accept two of them with his own conditions. He'll want retribution for his old squad leader, and that seems a ready assignment to take. Yet he also is drawn to his power experiments, the Emflikar and the trust of recruiting for the cause. He'll ask to combine the two in some fashion, and continue the recruiting once he tracks down the mages.
This way he gets inside knowledge from the leaders on both assignments, has a hand in stirring more than one stew, and furthers his own ambitions.
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| Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 8:20 am Post subject: |
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Shady said it. I can't really think of much else when I have so little time on this site. I will probably come back with a better post once later today hopefully.
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 6:29 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with Shady. Nothing will endear the leader more than to go find his artifacts.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, so many memories hidden in such material objects.
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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Nice little chappy Smee.
I would say go for the relics left behind by the Leader. Maybe something there could be of use to him, and who knows? He may find more interesting information which could help understand more and enhance his power.
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 10:16 pm Post subject: |
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Go find a new chosen. That's always funny. Good chapter Smee 
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 4:49 pm Post subject: |
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The bad thing about finding chosen and killing mages is that its not as important because, well, they've been done before. Its one of things that you say "Oh, he did? Whatever, its not like he's special."
The relics is like "For the leader himself? Wow."
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm...fetching artifacts or fighting mages may be more glorious, but let's face it - any artifact we fetch is going to become property of the Leader, and killing mages is not going to bring us any power either.
With all the uncertainty that this new threat brings, maybe it's time we started building our own power base. Just think about it - lots of impressionable young mages ready to molded into a fighting force. They're always going to remember their first commander. And maybe someday, we'll want to call on them...
:twisted:
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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indeed, I am with Key on this one. And what could help that power base but some nice juicy artifacts, one or two of which may go 'missing' in transit.
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| Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 5:39 am Post subject: |
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Key said what I was thinking. Certainly killing mages would be a good idea, but first strengthen the central location. And then take action.
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| Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 4:30 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, I see your point, Key, although the artifacts can bring more power than two or three inexperienced youths will. Let's face it, I don't think we're going to recruit much more than that.
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Key
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| Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah, I actually think we should go after the artifacts too. I just didn't want to agree with everybody.
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 9:00 am Post subject: |
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Looks like people are coming to an agreement - the poll's going up.
Thanks for the comments folks
Next chapter for Trengin - deciding who goes to the bridge - coming very soon.
Happy Playing
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 9:21 am Post subject: |
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Smee, what's this author's opinion? What's the use?
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 9:23 am Post subject: |
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Lordy's idea - allows me to vote and see the result straight away.
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 9:24 am Post subject: |
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Voted! Let's try and combine missions. Get more glory that way. 
*holds breath*
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 9:25 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm, I see. But you don't get to vote in case of a tie.
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 9:28 am Post subject: |
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| Went for recruitment. If we ever want to become head of the Sempa we'll need a couple of powerful apprentices loyal to us.
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| Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 9:51 am Post subject: |
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Mine was the 'current' solo vote for revenge, which would prove something straight away, as opposed to possible luck in recruitment or finding lost artifacts.
And D. - he doesn't need to cast his vote in case of a tie - he can just declare which wins, without using the poll.
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 4:01 am Post subject: |
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Hit two birds with one stone. Voted for the hybrid option.
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 4:09 am Post subject: |
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Keep the votes coming in, but because I said I'd make it up to you for the recent inactivity...
Chapter 15 has just been posted here.
As always, along with the decision point, always feel free to mention any other thoughts you have about the Story.
Happy Discussion
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 4:17 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | It also be nice to |
Slight typo.
Nice to see another chapter! Interesting facts dribbling out.
I think he should scout around a little first, check out the terrain. Maybe he can use a disguise again. If it seems safe, have a rest. If not, well, he can surely find a place to camp.
This wagon of books is indeed a treasure trove, I look forward to hearing more...
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 4:54 am Post subject: |
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Good chapter. Things are moving along nicely.
Noticed a couple of things:
| Quote: | With some final thoughts and planning we continued reading through books until dawn, desperate to find anything that might [
be of use to me.
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There is a [ and a large gap after it, which I dont think needs to be there, despite the proximity of the picture.
| Quote: | | the riders would beable to see me clearly |
Should be would be able to.
I think that he should remain wary and vigilant of the possible dangers around. Those riders, the fact that it isn't marked on the relatively young map, the fact that it should have been destroyed by Sempa. None of these bode well. I think he should camp outside, somewhere that is secluded and hidden but where he can still view the village. Maybe it's an illusion, or only appears at certain times during the day. You never know....
Looking forward to the next installment! :biggrin:
*holds breath*
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 5:07 am Post subject: |
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Excellent chapter. I loved the background info. There's a lot more of that leaking into the story now
Okay: Benefits of going into the village. 1) A soft bed. 2) possible info on the bridge.
Drawbacks: 1) Possibly an occupied town, even if it doesn't look like it. 2) People talk and rumours travel.
Trengin couldn't stay secret for long if he stayed in the village. He could perhaps illusion himself into being something more harmless, as he did on the road. Still, it probably wouldn't fool anyone with a magical background and it would do more harm than good if the illusion was seen through.
As for possibly gaining information, he can probably find out everything he needs to know, simply by going to the bridge and scouting it out secretly. It should be fairly obvious what has happened, simply by looking - and how could he trust what the villagers told him anyway? He'd still have to go and confirm it for himself in the end.
So, for the sake of a warm, comfortable bed - I'd say, skirt around and forget the village completely.
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 6:28 am Post subject: |
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Surely te sempa wouldn't just overlook a village?
I think whatever he does, he should be very wary in the village. Maybe some spell can alert him to any magic being used in the village?
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:10 am Post subject: |
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Certainly an informative chapter. Dishes out a lot of information.
Like others have said, the perfect quietude of the village is too suspious. Perhaps, Trengin could set a spell that can alert him to any trouble. Sort of like a wire trap.
Also the village may be dangerous, but he may be able to glean some information. He is going to just have to be careful what he says, so he doesn't bring attention to himself too much.
Need a space after the 'a' otherwise you have the opposite connotation you desire within the sentence.
And I think I saw Scrune's name spelled Shrune somewhere in the earlier part of the chapter.
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:20 am Post subject: |
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Thanks everyone,
and  it's Srune - so there is two wrong if you were comparing
EDIT:
Found it - there was a stray Shrune in there It's been suitably de'h'ched and won't be bothering anyone again.
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Last edited by Smee on Sun May 07, 2006 7:24 am; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 7:23 am Post subject: |
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I knew I spelled the guy's name wrong...I guess that cancels out then. I found one error, and you corrected mine.
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 9:33 am Post subject: |
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I'd suggest using the disguise of the old man and going down into the village. It may be risky, but so could staying the night out as the riders warned.
Also, if he doesn't seek the apparent safety of the village then if someone did see him they would have reason to be suspicious of him, while seeing an old man come to town shouldn't cause to many eyebrow to raise.
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Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Smee
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| Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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Last day for votes in Norral's chapter.
Currently opinion is toward a hybrid option but the votes are close and that could easily change.
Happy Voting
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Stubby
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:22 am Post subject: |
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Dammit Smee, I wish you wouldn't do that!
You keep making me forget that this is a storygame and that I am supposed to think up some constructive and insightful comment at the end of the chapter!
*grumbles and re-reads it*
OK, right..... that village is baaad news. There is little you could stand to gain that could offset the risk of going there. Find a quiet spot off the road in the woods and sleep there instead.
Mark it well on the map, so that the circle ( or line, or triangle or whatever shape it happens to be at the time) can send someone to investigate - after all, they may have some useful defence against the Sempa.
Happy Mayoring
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Smee
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:34 am Post subject: |
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Do what - you mean the seperate discussion thread?
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:37 am Post subject: |
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Actually, I think he means that the writing just sucks him in, and he forgets that after reading the chapter he's supposed to tell you what to write next
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The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Smee
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:38 am Post subject: |
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Awww - well that's ok then.
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Stubby
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:50 am Post subject: |
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*grin*
OK, so maybe it was a bit too subtle a compliment - but Fauna got it spot on!
Sorry if I worried, you Smee, but there is nothing wrong with the story - so much so that I just get completely engrossed in reading it!
Keep up the good work!
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 5:50 am Post subject: |
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Considering the times and the general climate I’d avoid the village. Even if the people were friendly amongst themselves, they likely would be suspicious of a stranger, especially if you’re easily identifiable as a mage. Resist that soft bed, those promised comforts that a glimpse into the peaceful village offers.
In fact, it might prove wise to move far away from the village before resting. Travel off the main roads as night approaches and put some distance between you and what appears too good to be true. The whole scene smacks of entrapment.
And with that in mind, you should mark the space on your map, and once you’ve scouted the bridge and made contact with your companions in Etonreh, investigate this village further.
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The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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| How does Norral answer the guard? |
| Humbly deny all knowledge of any Sempa? |
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42% |
[ 3 ] |
| Explain that your fire was throwing up a lot of sparks last night? Easily mistaken for fireballs at a distance. |
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14% |
[ 1 ] |
| Sempa killed your family. You're heading straight to the Capital to complain and demand recompense? |
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28% |
[ 2 ] |
| Author option (DO NOT USE) |
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14% |
[ 1 ] |
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| Total Votes : 7 |
| Who Voted: algu95, Chinaren, D-Lotus, DeadManWalking, Key, Reiso, Smee |
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