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Crunchyfrog
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 Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 2:51 am Post subject: |
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The Hangover
Chapter 26 - Time Flies...
Rai blinked several times and shook her head to clear the fog of death from her head. She flexed some talons trying to discern if she was fully meshed into her new body. "Hello Rai, plesure to see you again. Have a seat won't you?"
Smee grinned as the startled ghostly dragoness turned a surprised face toward him. King Key waved a lazy hello in the direction of the ghostly mod before turning back to gaze at the time zipping past. "Smee? Key? Where in IF...why arn't I in flesh again?" The wizard chuckled.
"Well you died a smidge too soon. Looks like you're just going to have to wait around with Key and I until we catch up." Smee watched the dragoness look around. "Lost something?"
Rai spread her claws in a gesture of futility and nodded. "You wouldn't have happened to notice an amulet with a magical ruby the size of a small imported car whizz past would you?"
Smee and Key shook their heads as Rai sighed. "Oh well...at least it should show up when we get there."
"It's probably just a little further along in the time stream." Key mused. "Speaking of which, heads up Rai."
"Huh?" Twisting her head to look around the dragoness had a moment to get the perception of something large and red coming at her at mach speed before she and her future body impacted with tremendous force. "Ouch. That's a rather unplesant sensation. Remind me not to do this again."
Smee chuckled. "If the situation ever arises where you've inadvertantly sent a copy of your body into the future and yourself, Key, and I find ourselves zipping through Space Time again...I'll try to remember that."
Rai, Key, and Smee had been reduced to playing I-Spy while whizzing through Space Time to pass the time, no pun intended, when they were suddenly spat out with a thump. "Ouch!" Key groaned. "What did I land on? A rock?" Rai untangled herself, her head was caught under her wing, and gave a short snort of joy.
"Nope just me." Quickly the revitalized dragoness stripped her body of everything important in a few quick seconds. "Hang on, my mod gems have gone cold. It'll take me a few minutes to bring them on line again." Smee glanced around apprehensively, at the scene where Rai had previously 'sacrificed' herself at the hands of the protective wards.
"Is it safe to stay here while we wait for that?"
"No place safer. The wards should be back online by now. Going out's no problem, coming in requires somebody with a deathwish."
"Indeed." Key murmered one pudgey hand on one of his chins. "I'm astonished you found this place." He glanced at Rai with narrowed eyes. "Just how did you accomplish that?" Rai quirked an eyebrow at him.
"I had a good copy of the Master Map." To this Key made no reply other than a long 'hheerrrm' which might just have been his breathing. Smee poked at the wards a bit while Rai stole the essences from her former flesh.
"I still say we get moving...we need to find the Soul Well if what you told us in transit were correct." The dragoness didn't argue, she had to find her red amulet after all and she was pretty sure she knew where it was going to materialize. Quickly scooping up Smee, it took a few moments for her to lift Key and get them both comfortbly situated on her back, they looked around. "Why aren't we moving."
"My gem's not back up yet. I don't have a map until it is...unless you do?" Smee shook his head. It was at that moment Key fished around in his massive belly rolls and pulled free what looked like a much abused lunch napkin.
"I happen to have one right here...."
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:14 am Post subject: |
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The Hangover
Chapter 27 - Better the Devil you Know
Lordy sighed in his lair. Everything, positively everything was going wrong. It seemed as though nothing could be done to salvage the situation.
A smile slowly crossed his face. No, that wasn't entirely correct. The Destroyer was in the outer sanctum, the Devourer was on his way to Rai to recover the Bone, Blood, and Flesh he needed, and he still had his secret weapon, albeit untested. Things were just hanging by threads now. If the Devourer proved to be no match for Rai, and the Destroyer was in turn destroyed, then the situation was hopeless.
The spell to harness the power of the well was almost done. He wouldn't say the key word until he had the Bone, Flesh, and Blood, otherwise it would all go wrong, and the Greater One might wake up...
He really, sincerely hoped that none of the so-called heroes of the story would find his secret lair's entrance.
-----
Meanwhile, IM was leaning against a tree for a short break.
"Do you think they can understand us yet?" Crady asked.
"Dunno," Lilith replied. "Hey, IM, pull out your book."
IM sighed and pulled out his tome and flipped through it. "No good, it's still backwards to me." He sighed and flopped against the tree. This was not a good idea, as the tree was not really a tree, but a concealer of a secret button that opened a trapdoor. IM's mirrored yell reached D's ears, and he ran over to the source of Crady's and Lilith's fervent, albeit mirrored, shouting.
"He went down there somehow!" Lilith said while pointing at the ground in front of the tree.
D looked at her oddly, and Lilith slapped her forehead with her open palm. She had forgotten in her excitement that she was cursed still, so pointed and attempted sign language of the mentally defiant ape-dog sort. D just looked even more confused.
"Like this!" Crady shouted, and thrust herself at the tree in a vain attempt to get it to repeat what had happened. Unfortunately, it worked, and she slid down a long earthen tunnel to land next to IM.
"Followed me, did you?" He asked.
"Yeah, why do you ask?" She asked in kind.
"Oh, no reason at all, just stating the obvious so that my mind doesn't implode from fear due to that thing standing over there. I'm also babbling to distract it, I don't think it's working very well."
Crady looked over and saw the most horrible thing imaginable...
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:16 am Post subject: |
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"What is that thing?" Crady said her voice audibly shaking as she vainly attempted to hide behind IM.
"I don't know...." IM said, "And to be honest, I'm not sure I want to find out either," he said flipping through his book hastly in the vain hopes that something anything would make sense despite the book being written backwards so that he could find out what the thing was and how to destroy it very, very quickly.
The Thing....if it could be called that...stood before them breathing as its rotten breath filled the chamber where they stood.
What IM and Crady could see of the thing was disgusting. The monster was consumed by it's overly large mouth. A mouth so large it looked like it could swallow even the giant Rai without even chewing.
Huge teeth dripping a greenish looking poision stood row upon row as its victims starred down it's dark gullet where two glowing eyes blinked at the eargerly. Currently it's massive purple tongue swept up to lick the pink lips that surrond the mouth of the monster.
Clearing his throat, IM gave up his hopeless attempts of sorting through his book and gulp as the monster began to approach them as two minature claws pucked from under what must have been the monster's belly. "There is only one reasonable thing that we can do in such a desperate hopeless situation."
"Which is?" Crady said her knees shaking threatening to send her crashing to floor.
"Scream." IM said wisely.
~ ~ ~
Meanwhile, a large buzzer and flashing light began to go off just approve Lordy's giant TV monitor.
Putting down the large blueprint Lordy held in his hand, Lordy looked up at the monitor and pressed a botton.
"Well, well, Looks like I won't have to worry about the heros after all," he said as he watched the Devorer approach IM and Crady. Whistling, Lordy approached his well kept not so secret liquor stash and pulling out his finest wine, Lordy pulled up a plushy chair and took a drink. "Now, this should be entertaining."
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:17 am Post subject: |
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As he swilled the wine languidly around his bejewelled goblet, Lordy frowned. Entertaining though this interlude was, what was the Devourer doing in the outer antechamber to his Inner Sanctum anyway?
Unless it was returning with Rai's gem, containing the Blood, Flesh and Bone, it shouldn't be there at all.
He peered at his monitor. No sign of the gem. Had that stupid monster devoured the gem and Rai? Not likely. The Devourer did not look like it had eaten anything recently.
Lordy grimaced. More likely that dratted servile imp had got his orders crossed, and released the Devourer into the outer antechamber, and sent the Destroyer to Rai instead.
His heart sank. The Destroyer was not really a good match for Rai. It was flightless, and lumbering. Equally, whilst the Devourer would have stood a good chance with conquering Rai, its eyesight was not good enough for spotting creatures of a size comparable to human beings, and therefore did not pose as great a threat to the likes of IM and Crady.
However, its hearing was good, and provided that IM and Crady continued screaming, the Devourer was in with a chance of a small snack. Especially as Lordy could see on his monitor that some more of IM's friends descending into the antechamber... How many of them altogether? Six? Seven? Eight?
"Good grief..." he thought, shaking his head.
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:19 am Post subject: |
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A minion of Lordy's rushed in and began to babble incoherently. "Master! ... She's here!." The minion was soon squashed by an ancient, red talon.
Lordy spat out his drink. "Rai.... how did you get in here?" He asked, rising and noticing Key and Smee on her back.
"Very carefully, Lordy. By the way, the next time you send your Destroyer after me, we will be having a long discussion, involving you hanging by your hamstrings from the ceiling and me languishly enjoying a stress-free day for once.." Rai gave Lordy a grin, showing every single draconic tooth.
"Key, Smee,.. Greetings to both of you.. Can I ask why you are here?" Lordy surreptitiously made his screens go blank; the only one who had even seen the chaos begining in the antechamber was Rai and she was currently doing something with Lordy's jester hat.
"Actually, Lordy, I could ask you the same thing. What's all this I hear of an overthrow?" Key replied, giving Lordy a searching look.
"Just the usual rumours as usual, Key. But I do believe that Chinaren was searching for you the other day.. you as well, Smee." Lordy hinted, hoping that Key and Smee would believe him; China was indeed searching for them.
"Ah, yes! I must consult with China on a few things myself. Rai, would you mind..." Key said, stopping as Rai ripped a hole in IFian-Space-Time and threw the jester hat in.
"Hmm.. What? Oh well, actually I have something I need to discuss with Lordy. But I am sure he has some transportation to get you to Chinaren.." Rai said, giving Lordy a significant glance that said, Hurry up! This is important!
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 7:42 am Post subject: |
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"Of course," Lordy supplied smoothly. "Right this way." After ushering the ex-mayor and the king into a trasport tube that whisked them away the demon turned to stare at the angery dragoness. "As much as I'd love to stand around and chat, you don't happen to have the Three do you?"
Rai reached up a talon, and deftly snatched the red amulet out of the air as it winked into existance. "I'm not some feeble-minded whelp Lordy. I can get things done when I choose to." Quickly she spoke a few words over it and the three ingrediants appeared on the floor in a flash. Before the demon could touch any of them, the dragoness's tail thuded down and cut him off. "You owe me Lordy. Big Time."
The demon snarled. "Yes yes but can we settel debts later...like after we've averted this whole 'crisis' thing." Slowly the tail lifted and the demon took up the three objects, beckoning to the dragoness. "Come on, I'm going to need your power too."
The dragoness shook her head. "No dice demon. I'm sitting guard on this one incase you screw up. You do it with your own reserves because my scales are still itching. And that means we're still in danger..." With a sigh and a grumble about never working with dragons again the demon began to cast the needed spell.
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 7:45 am Post subject: |
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As the daemon chanted in some ancient tongue, the air before him began to ripple, shimmering waves spread from his outstretched hand. Slowly, the distortion grew in size, a small tear in the fabric of reality. An ear-rending screech filled the cavern, high pitched and penetrating. Both dragon and daemon winced at the sound, forced to brace themselves against the torrential wind that rocketed from the growing abyss.
“This is the last of them,” Lordy shouted above the racket, his words muffled by the screaming. “After this, there is only the Soul Well itself to open, to release the Greater Evil.” Abruptly the sound died away, the wind fading to a mere breeze. Rai delicately – if a dragon could ever be described as delicate – placed one of her fore-arms to her head and rubbed her ear. Before her, Lordy sank to one knee, breathing heavily from the effort.
“It is done then?” Rai asked. “We are ready?” The daemon nodded, and rose to his feet once more. “Yes. I have opened the way-points all around the city, releasing the essences trapped within. Even now I can here him stirring, growing in power. All that remains is to open the Well itself, and perform the Final Ceremony.”
Rai gazed around at cavern that formed this Sanctum of Lordy’s, the stone walls daubed with symbols and mystical patterns. The few trickles of light that shone down from above barely illuminated its outermost edges, and the network of tunnels that led to the world outside. She stared at the hole that was now in the room’s centre – a small rip in space – only visible through the fact that it was not. No light shone on it, or through it, and if she hadn’t known it was there, in all likelihood she wouldn’t have noticed.
Her thoughts were interuppted when she noticed Lordy looking at her. “Just how did you get in here Rai? I wasn’t expecting you back for nearly half an hour.”
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 7:49 am Post subject: |
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"Well, actually," Rai began, when a large amount of noise came from the entrance. D, Crady, Lilith, Polokin, Solus, Lebby, and Jez began to file into the room, noticeably either impressed or repulsed by the daemon's choice in decor. It was hard to say.
"Once again, Rai, I must thank you for getting rid of that thing," D said. Rai quickly tried to hush him up, but Lordy had heard and wasn't pleased. And when Lordy wasn't pleased, things tended to happen quickly. Very bad things.
"Traitor!" Lordy hissed, and threw his hands up. Bindings of what looked to be white cloth appeared around the gaggle of adventurers, and promptly did as their name suggested; they bound all present besides Lordy into quivering heaps. Before they could speak, gags of similar white cloth forced themselves into their mouthes and tied themselves behind their heads.
"Congratulations, Rai, you've just earned yourself a first-class ticket to the end of the world!" Lordy threw his hands up and concentrated, saying the needed incantation and teleporting the group to the Soul Well.
It is probably a painful thing, to be systematically deconstructed, forced through a tube the size of a paper clip's wire to your destination, and reconstructed into your original form. However, since the nerves - and brain - are the first thing to go with teleportation magics, nobody knows. All they can describe of the process is 'tingly'.
In an instant, nobody was left in the chamber.
"Hello?" IM's voice rang out.
Well, not everyone had been in the chamber to begin with. IM had passed out shortly after finishing his scream of horror as Rai killed the monster. Everyone had forgotten about him, seeing as Lilith and Crady were in no position to inform D of their misplaced companion, seeing as he was after the fleeing Rai so as to question her. IM had come to just in time to get to the chamber after everything interesting had finished. IM looked around briefly.
"Hellooooo?" IM inquired again, just in case somebody had been lurking behind the bean-bag chair waiting to yell 'Surprise!' at him. When no such thing happened, IM began to probe the room with his magical senses. Someone had cast a big teleportation spell here. IM could easily hook onto the spell and go where whoever had cast it had gone, but he looked around him first to see if there was anything worth taking with him.
Something twanged in the room, something that set the hair on the back of his neck on end. IM went towards the source of this disconcerting feeling, and found a small vial holding what looked to be a mote of dull gray and brown metal. IM instantly recognized it: Stupidium. Though it seemed more...potent than usual. Magic was suspending it from the glass walls for some reason. IM picked the vial up, stowed it away, and hooked onto the remnants of the teleport spell.
After having appeared atop a high mountain-peak, IM recited his hook-on backwards, remembering that he was still reversed of speech. He appeared in a small cavern that was adjacent to a large one. In the large cavern, he could make out a huge pool, glowing white, blue, and green, and the light reflected off the figure of...
Lordy?
This wasn't good. IM hunkered down to hear what Lordy had to say, as he was clearly monologuing to someone...
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 7:52 am Post subject: |
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"Dratted curse..." he muttered to himself, as he listened, he could not understand a word Lordy was saying, since everything to IM sounded backwards.
In the dim light, he could make out what looked like seven giant pupae, lying on the ground. One of them was much larger than the others. They appeared to be wriggling and moaning slightly. IM edged closer, dislodging a couple of small rocks as he did so. Lordy whirled round and spotted him.
"My dear Idea Master!" he leered, raising a finger towards the mage. "I..." but he stopped when he heard noises in one of the labyrinth tunnels leading towards the pool.
...."Are you sure this is where we were supposed to be?" Smudger's voice could be heard echoing faintly towards them. "I thought we were supposed to be finding the others, not coming back to the Well."
"Think, Smudger," Dinranwen's tones could be heard in reply. "The Realm of Dead IFians has very little time left. By the time we find ourselves a decent map, and get ourselves to the point where everyone else is, we may already be too late. And I thought we'd agreed, our plan was to second guess Lordy, and come to the pools at the Soul Well itself. The chances he'll be there are quite high."
"Besides, the only likely way that we can find Sasuke is..." began Crunchyfrog, as the threesome emerged into the chamber, but he didn't get a chance to finish his sentence. They stopped, their jaws dropped in horror, as they saw the sight before them.
"Ah! Dinranwen, Smudger, Crunchyfrog! Glad you could join the party!" grinned Lordy.
"Lordy, you cannot do this!" said Dinranwen bravely. "Whatever you want with the Soul Well, you have to stop! The Realm of Dead IFians is being devoured by the crack in the well beneath us... When that has gone, the Soul Well itself will implode from the power within, destroying the City."
Lordy shook his head.
Crunchyfrog took in a deep breath. He could see IM edging around towards their bound and gagged friends, and fiddling around with the bonds of one of them, it might have been JezSharp.
"Why, Lordy, are you doing this?" he said bravely, trying to stall for time. It worked.
"Well, " replied Lordy, "Since my plan is almost completely executed, and you are all going to die soon, I may as well tell you."
"Go on," encouraged Smudger, as IM released one of Jez's hands. Jez fiddled within his wrappings and produced a small blue glowing orb, and nodded towards Polokin, who was laying next to him.
"My first goal was the revolution of the City," began Lordy. "My various allies and contacts around IF (which include several prominant moderators, whose names I won't disclose now) were all told certain portions of the plan, so no-one else knew the full story. I'm just canny like that.
The overall, final, outcome was to be the complete takeover of the entire country, and the near en-slavement of the population of IF, OF, AHA etc. Of course, the population wouldn't realise their enslavement, as that would merely lead to discontent. And that's bad kiddies. You should always do what your overlord tells you."
Din feigned a gasp, hoping that it would encourage Lordy to continue.
"But how did you do that...?" asked Smudger.
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 7:57 am Post subject: |
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"It just so happened, that I chose to carry out my cunning ploy at a time when China was away," resumed Lordy. "This was, of course, deliberately chosen, as with China away, and Key (soon to be) incapable of action, I have the most power in IF."
He grinned maliciously around at his captives at this point. IM held the blue orb tightly in his fist as Lordy's gaze briefly fell on him.
"Binding Key was ridiculously easy," Lordy went on. "The King is seen rarely in the city at the best of times, though I knew he does keep watch over us. I simply removed his power, and left him unable to function without aid. Killing him would have effected the balance of the City, so I was forced to leave him alive."
IM cowered, and looked over at Polokin. As he inched towards him, there was a commotion from above as something limp fell from a crevasse in the roof of the cavern, and landed in front of Lordy.
Recognising the limp form as Masterweaver, Lordy growled in exasperation.
"Oh, this is going to heaven in a wastebasket. Why doesn't everyone just come down here and join the party?" He plucked Masterweaver from the ground, then threw him against the wall, narrowly missing IM, who accidentally dropped the orb which rolled away on the ground, a little out of reach.
"timmaD" said IM to himself. He had no idea what the blue orb was for, but Jez obviously did, and wanted Polokin to have it. He wondered how he could get to it without Lordy noticing.
"You were about to tell us your plan for world domination," Crunchy said hastily, and breathed a sigh of relief as Lordy turned his attention back towards them.
"Indeed, the next part of my plan was fiendishly clever, and was executed perfectly." boasted Lordy.
"My contacts in OF are well known to vetern members of the city, as is the on-going tension between the two neighbours. My agents within OF have been infiltrating to higher levels of power and authority. Famous OFian generals, such as Mal-Fait, are actually nothing more than pawns and allies of me, and my insidious plotting. For a several month period, I had one of my IFian agents systimatically eliminating key members of the opposition of OF, allowing my OFians agents to take their place.
Tensions were reaching an all-time straining point and diplomatic measures were going downhill fast. There would only be a matter of time before all-out war was declared, something I have been pressing, both in the council, and with my agents in OF, for some time."
"Uhh... so what happened next?" asked Smudger.
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:01 am Post subject: |
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"Quite simple, my dear hunchback, quite simple indeed. With Key, Smee, and all the other important mods gone, or otherwise...indisposed, I would be the most powerful person in the city. I would have my OFian agents incite the masses into a blood frenzy in both cities, and then war would come. I would lead IF to victory, with the power of this Well bolstering my own."
IM was ever-so-carefully inching towards the orb and stopped. Why bother with doing it physically, when he could do it magically? He whispered the words of a levitation spell backwards, and the orb flew into his hands. He then resumed his careful trek to Polokin, hoping that the duck-obsessed man could do something with this orb.
Thin, shadowy forms came from the crack in the roof then, carrying an unconscious Sasuke with them. "Master, master! We have him, we have him!"
"Ah, excellent. Set him down behind me, there's a good lot of minions."
Sasuke was unceremoniously tossed behind Lordy, one hand-paw in the Well itself. Lordy took no note of this and continued on his speech.
"Of course, all I knew was that I would need more power than I had, and I was planning a raid of IM's mines to get at the lost souls, but then China did such an act for me, mucking up my plans. When the announcement was made that the lost souls were 'gone forever' I knew they were still around, as China rarely speaks the truth on any given day, especially when he has a bottle of Grungle Juice in hand. So I trawled through all the archives to find where in the world he could have placed them, and found...this."
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:07 am Post subject: |
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"This," breathed Lordy, "this is a small object, one I have produced, in my hand, that is tiny, and round, and spherical. This is called the Orb of Redundancy, for the Orb's use causes repition of the obvious, but also, repitition of that hidden, and of that unseen, and of that unknown, and of that mysterious."
"We get the point," said Masterweaver. He shut up when Lordy glared at him.
"This was hidden deep within the dangerous tools of writing section of the archives, where were kept writing things that could easily kill a storygame. I fought, past much danger, in the dangerous tools of writing section, to get this tool of writing. Then, I came here, and used this on the Soul Well. And lo, the spell that Chinaren had cast was cast again!"
"But wouldn't that create two soul wells?" asked Smudger.
"No, for this is the Orb of Redundancy!"
"You've said that already," quipped Dinranwen.
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:12 am Post subject: |
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Lordy sighed, frustrated that his captives could not understand a key part of his plan.
"This orb is what caused the Soul Well to begin to break up. If the same spell is cast multiple times, the spell affects the enviroment in adverse ways. Once the Soul Well was allowing the Lost Souls out and anatgonizing IFians against Chinaren, the next phase of my plan could be put into affect." Lordy gave a smirk to the tied and gagged IFians.
He continued on with his plan, not noticing Idea Master creeping slowly towards Polokin.
"But, you lot have all but dozed off during my thrilling plan explanation. Now, to finish the spell!" Lordy whirled around and stomped to Sasuke, who, coincidently, was coming around.
Lordy withdrew a small dagger. "Ah, you are awake! All the better I can enjoy your screams as you bleed!"
Lordy plunged the dagger toward Sasuke just as Sasuke yelled, "Please, don't kill me! I didn't do it!"
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:15 am Post subject: |
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It! it itit it it it it!
The word resounded around the cavern. There was a deathly hush.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! NOT THE "IT" WORD!!! NOT YET!!!!!!! yelled Lordy. His spell was incomplete, and the trigger word had been uttered prematurely.
The chain reaction had started.
The Soul Well pool began to boil malevolantly, and a loud rumble could be heard echoing through the cavern. The captive IFians squirmed and yelped their muffled shrieks. Rudely awakened from their boredom enduced slumber, they were extremely aware something very BAD was about to happen.
Lordy rounded on Sasuke.
"You fool! You idiot! You had to ruin everything, you halfbr...."
He stopped as the ground shuddered
"What did I say? What did I do wrong?" asked Sasuke, confused, as he backed away from the glowing, boiling pool.
IM wasted no time in tearing apart Polokin's bonds, and ripping the gag from his face. He pressed the small blue orb into Polokin's hand. Polokin pointed to D-Lotus, and IM hastily scrambled over to help the P.I.
As IM helped him free himself, D-Lotus shuddered as he recognised the diabolical smell he had smelt in Smee's basement that time when he had stumbled across the initial attempt to crack open the Soul Well. He stared in horror as the boiling in the pool grew in ferocity, and a shape began to form above it.
Even Lordy stepped back in awe...
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:17 am Post subject: |
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As Sasuke's Horribly Timed Excalmation finally fell silent upon the room thunder boomed in the distance, lighting flashed across, and the DooomDooomDoomDoomDoomDooom music started playing right on cue.
A thick fog poured into the room swirly in an errie light as the Live Audience setting in the study gasped simatiously with the Ifians in the room.
Suddenly, a disinbodied voice echoed in the room as a murky shadowy shape waved it's hands in the fog, yet the fog was so thick no one could quite make out exactly what IT was, "Behold the Greater Evil!"
Mad laughter filled the room as the fog suddenly cleared leaving what could only be discribed as a giant puddle of color changing Icky-Goo. The Self-Proclaimed had long forgotten it's shape, form, and name as it stood in front of the Ifians it's puddle shape shuddering almost uncertainly.
This is not what the other's saw....what each saw was their greatest fear enbodied in the Greater Evil's Shape.
Crunchfrog saw a giant semi it's head beams being bright as a loud horn annoced the truck's approach towards him....Closing his eyes for the expectant crushing, Crunchy Eeeked.
IM saw himself, a battered, useless, unimagintive, unmagical version of himself. In front of his eyes was a sight even he could believe. In front of IM was an IM wearing thick black glasses, a white shirt, a tie, and the carried the calucater of a Tax Consultant. "It's not true...It's not true." Im repeated sensly.
Polokin saw a rubber ducky being shreadded to death by a nameless faceless monster.
MasterWeaver saw a robe being shoved into a box and being gadded....the figurative image of himself was being silenced, stiffled, and robbed of all his self-styled Brillance.
Lily watched in terror as her wings were torn by shreads.
Nightshade saw a very angry Chinaren demanding his rent now or else.
Rai saw herself being sentenced to live the rest of her life as an ordinary human by the Drake himself.
Even Lordy was being tortured as he saw himself being stripped of demonly powers, all his money, and being sentenced to serve forever in the stupidium mines.
But worse of all, or so Dinranwen thought, was the image of herself in the mirror as someone snatched off her precious cloak so that she was clearly seen.
"Noooooo!" Everyone cried covering their eyes and ears in fear.
"Yeeees!" The GE said as it shifted it's shape to become a vision of everyone's fear, the shape of desolate destroyed empty City of If. "I'm free! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"
Thunder cracked, a bolt of lighting struck blinding everyone in the room, and when everyone opened their eye's.....
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:26 am Post subject: |
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....they were amazed to see Chinaren waddle into the cavern.
"Tada!!!....er....oh, shit...." he said, as he stopped in his tracks.
Disappointed that his carefully planned spectacular entry had been completely wasted on the current situation, and gripped with shock by the fearful illusion of his money going up in flames in front of him, Chinaren ran as fast as his short legs would carry him towards the Greater Evil, crying
"NO!!!! NO NO NO!!!! PLEASE!!! NOT MY MONEY SACKS!!! SAVE MY MONEY SACKS!!!!"
As Crunchyfrog and Dinranwen each grabbed a hairy arm and dragged the crazed mayor away from the dangerous manifestation the rest of the IFians quickly began to realise that what each of them was seeing seemed to be a personal fear.
"YOU FOOLS!!!" hissed Lordy, "If only you had kept quiet, and had trusted me!"
"Trusted YOU???" roared Rai as she burst forth from her bonds, morphing back to her full dragon form.
"Hah, that's a little rich coming from you, Rai," replied Jez, "after the part you've played in all of this!"
"Lliw ydobemos od gnihtemos tuoba siht esruc, ti si gnissip em ffo!!" shouted Lilith angrily, as Lotus helped her undo her bandages.
IM and Crady agreed with her wholeheartedly. IM turned to Lordy expectantly.
"Llew, Ydrol?" he asked.
But Lordy was staring straight at the Greater Evil, trying to block out the illusion of fear in his mind.
"I thought we had a pact, O Great One", he said, almost trance like.
"Indeed we did, Lordofthenight." boomed the fearful, evil voice of the Greater Evil from around the cavern. "But you were foolish to think that you could trick me and keep me incarcerated here whilst you use the power of the Soul Well to rule US.
Countless thousands of years, Lordofthenight, I have been trapped inside this fault. Countless thousands of years! A freak earthquake trapped my essence here, where I had lost my contacts and power over the outside world, my believers finally dying out.
What luck for me when your City was relocated upon this very spot, when the faultline was further undermined by its many tunnels, And what greater luck when your eminent orange Mayor's recent use of the Soul Well provided the necessary spark to rekindle my dormant power!
Without me, oh Lordofthenight, you would not have got this far. You do not deserve this power. You do not deserve...to live!!!" The Cities of IF, OF, the lands of AHA, THE, IS, and the whole of US, are MINE!!!!!!!!"
Lordofthenight thought for a split second.
"Damn it," he thought.
This could mean a slight set back to his plans of total domination. The Soul Well would need to be sealed, at least for now, and preferably with the Greater Evil inside it. In order to do this he'd need the 3 ingredients still, but he'd need the incantations to be spoken in reverse. Conveniently, he had three people who could do that. But he'd need time to prepare. And he'd need a distraction whilst he instructed IM, Lilith and Crady in what they had to do.
Would he have enough time? The Greater Evil seemed not to be in a hurry to do much right now. Perhaps it was still gathering power after such a long incarceration. Still, Lordy knew he had no time to lose.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Polokin raise his hand with a blue orb in it. Lordy did not know what the blue orb would do, but he figured it was likely to be a distraction, so he nodded in approval at Polokin.
Polokin stood bravely, and motioned D-Lotus to stand close to the manifestation.
Understanding that he was now acting as human bait, and was going to have to outwit a complete psychopath for an indeterminate amount of time in an enclosed and rather crowded space whilst Lordy prepared his spell, Lotus resignedly took his place.
Polokin smashed the small blue orb onto the floor, where it shattered.
"BSTHEGREAT, BSTHEGREAT, BSTHEGREAT!!!" he cried...
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:27 am Post subject: |
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For a moment, the cave was illuminated by the ensuring blue flash, both Lotus and Polokin being blinded momentarily due to their proximity. Because of this, they didn't see the light fold in on itself, shimmering internally before fading into the shape of a man.
BS the Great continued whistling to himself as he finished urinating, ignorant of what had just occured. Finishing, he looked up from the floor and stared into the horror-stuck eyes of Sasuke, who's clothes he had just finished despoiling. BS blinked rapidly, before stumbling backwards, the eyes of every IFian upon him.
Ho, s'taht tahw eht bro saw rof," exclaimed IM in surprise. "I dluohs evah desseug. Lysuoivbo emos mrof fo noitacol lleps derb-ssorc htiw a noitarujnoc fo fles." This knowledge, fascinating as it must have been, was ignored by everyone else, whether or not they could understand a word he spoke.
Scrambling to his feet, BS promtly unholsted the biggest gun he had on him, and swung round, catching site of Polokin, who was still cradling his scorched eyes. He grabbed the unfortunate IFian by the collar and dragged him closer.
"Why've ya brought me here?" he demanded fiercly, waving his oversized firearms in the hapless minion's face. "You were suppos'd to summon ma when ya had D captured, not 'cause ya felt lonely or som'mit. Why I outta bust you right now!"
A small - almost polite given the circumstances - cough interupted BS mid-flow, his embarassment and anger cut-off by the sudden chill that crept through his bones.
"If you'll permit me to point out," boomed the voice of the Greater Evil, echoing throughout the cavern, "I believe I had the floor?" He sounded almost bemused, if a timeless and manevant evil could feel an emotion as trival as amusement*. "Not to mention the fact that cold-blooded murder, in front of several prominent citizens, five moderators, the Chanceller and the Mayor may be a tad hasty."
Slowly BS the Great swung round, dropping his erstwhile minion to the floor as he did so. The Greater Evil was obscurred by the swirling mists once more, and the recent arrival was unable to behold the speaker. He gazed around the cavern closely a second time, catching sight of the various mods scattered around in various states of confusement (or undress in Din's case, as she valiently tried to pull her robes about her even more tightly).
D-Lotus had been half stunned by the blast, and unaware of exactly what had transpired after the flash went off. He rose to his feet, and locked eyes with BS. Several thoughts flashed instantly before his eyes, but only one was consistantly predominant.
"Oh Bugger." Even as BS brought his heavily tooled up weapon to bear, the mists surronding the Greater Evil's form cleared, and BS caught a glimce of what lay behind them. Or at least, what he most feared. The two Lotus's stared back at him, one looking ready to bolt, the other's twisted with sardonic pleasure. Screaming in rage and frustration, BS opened fire at one of the pair.
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:29 am Post subject: |
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Bullets slammed into D-lotus' chest. One after another, the metal slugs flew from BS' weapon, striking D as he writhed and twisted disturbingly. Finally, all the ammo was spent, and the room grew deathly silent.
D's bullet-riddled body stood up and stared directly at BS. The GE's evil laughter filled the room.
"No! That's not possible!" BS cried out in terror, pulling more guns from who knows where.
"Yes, I think you will be the first to die!" The GE screamed, shedding D's appearance and towering over BS.
The real D peered out from beneath Rai's wing as BS opened fire again. On the other side of the room, Lordy had grabbed Lillith, Crady, and IM. He was shoving scrolls into their hands and gesturing wildly, trying to communicate with sign language.
Bullets bounced off the GE's nebulous form, causing everyone to dive, or in some cases crawl, for cover. Heedless of the attack, the GE continued to grow, forming a pair a huge arms with wicked clawed hands.
"Now, witness the first display of my power and cower before me puny mortals!"
The entire cavern began to shake, and bits of rock and stalactites fell from the ceiling.
"He's going to bring the cave down on top of us!" Crunchy yelled.
"Yes!" The GE cried out, "Fear the... wait that's not me."
Suddenly the ceiling burst open, directly above the Greater Evil. A giant drilling machine, like something out of a Jules Verne novel, came crashing down through the GE and embedded itself into the floor.
When the dust cleared, Everyone could plainly see, written in gold lettering on the side of the machine, the words "Deus Ex Machina". A hatch in the side popped open, and out leaped a figure in long coat. He struck a pose as a blue bird landed on his hat.
"Oh yeah! Do I know how to make an entrance or what!?" Exclaimed Argonaut.
Everyone was dumbfounded, except for Lordy, who continued to attempt to explain his plan to the backwards talkers.
"Huh? Come on people, was the great or what? Don't everyone cheer at once." Argonaut pleaded for some attention.
However all eyes where now on the "Deus Ex Machina" as a sinister black ooze crawled up it's sides, slowly engulfing and absorbing it.
"What? didn't I just save the day here?" Asked Argo, turning to see what everyone was staring at.
The GE finished assimilating it's new form. Black metal claws sprouted from it's sides like spider legs. Lifting itself from it's hole the "Greater Evil Ex Machina" pointed it's huge spinning drill directly at Argo.
"Oh poop."
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 1:42 am Post subject: |
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"Back! Back foul beast! I warn you, I'm armed!" cried Chinaren, bravely leaping in between a rather surprised Argo and the Greater Evil Ex Machina, brandishing a lead brick in the general direction of the thing.
"China, I think you should be using silver, or possibly holy water," Argo whispered.
"Like you should talk, who gave it the huge body?!" Sasuke hissed.
"I am not afraid!" China proudly declared. "I've been cleaning up after that cloak for too long to be afraid!"
"Hey!!!..." protested Masterweaver.
"Wow," Rai muttered, surprised at the mayor's uncharacteristic bravado, "We might come out of this alive."
The GEEM* swatted at China with one of its new metallic tentacles, knocking him across the cavern. China impacted with a dull 'thump' and knocked loose a few rocks to land on him with a 'thud'.
"We're so not gonna make it," Rai muttered.
Glancing over at the half buried mayor as the GEEM began to approach him, IM frantically patted at his robes. He knew he was missing something, but all his normal instruments were in his robe. Then he remembered the item he'd picked up in Lordy's room, and gasped to see the small vial lodged in the drill bit atop the 'Greater Evil Ex Machina.'
"Crady, Lilith, we've got a major issue here!"
"What is it?" Crady queried.
"That vial that's on top of the machine! If it breaks, it'll start transforming us all! We'd better find out what Lordy wants, quickly!"
"Transforming us? into what?" asked Lilith, confused. Before IM could reply, Lordy yelled for their attention.
"Hgra, I t'nod wonk yhw I rehtob htiw uoy!" Lordy screamed. He started writing a spell quickly on the blank paper.
IM squinted as he tried to read the words, which read backwards to him.
"Hey, waitaminute, I think I recognize these words..." he breathed.
"Yeah? What are they, IM?" Lilith was curious about most things magical.
"Yeah, these are the words to bind a source of great evil...but their order is backwards...Of course!"
IM had a blinding realization that lit up the cavern and caused the others to scream. IM grabbed Lilith's and Crady's hands. "Quickly, chant these words with me!"
"But with the curse-" Crady interjected, only to be rebuffed.
"That's the beauty of it! We're going to USE this curse to do some good! We have to get it absolutely perfect to work. Come on, chant!"
The trio began to incant. Forevermore power my to you bind I...
Lordy breathed a sigh of relief as it appeared that the 3 IFians had finally got the gist of what he wanted them to do.
However, chanting the reversed order of the words was not as easy as it looked....
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*Greater Evil Ex Machina. Acronym provided by IM Inc, who is tired of typing that name out all the time.
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 1:52 am Post subject: |
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While Lilith, Crady, and Idea Master were busy with their backwards chant, D-Lotus was busy trying to reason with BS the Great.
"Come on, you coward! Quit running and take it like a man!" BS shouted as D-Lotus dodged and outsmarted him for the fifth time.
"WOULD YOU LISTEN TO REASON, MAN?! THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU AND I, IT'S ABOUT ALL OF IF!" D-Lotus screamed back, desperately hoping that he could convince BS to join their cause.
The following gunshots that D-Lotus had to duck from were a sure sign that BS wasn't in the mood.
Then, D-Lotus had an idea. He took off running, weaving in and out of the fighting IFians, while BS followed his progress in the crosshairs of his weapon.
When D-Lotus finally stopped moving, BS smiled and said,
"Bye, bye, Private Eye!" BS pulled the trigger.
At the last moment, D-Lotus moved and the shot went directly into the GEEM, puncturing a hole in the fuel tank.
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| Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 2:07 am Post subject: |
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The resulting explosion shook the already unstable caverns, as those who were able, dived for cover. BS whistled low, impressed that his shot had had such an effect.
"MY HAIR'S ON FIRE!" cried D-Lotus, and Lebrenth immediately smothered the flames with his foul smelling, goo-covered Cloak of Forboding.
As he was being helped from the rubble a second time, Chinaren stared at the mess.
"NOOOOOO!!!" he screamed. "I HADN'T PAYED INSURANCE ON THE CITY's DEUS EX MACHINA YET!"
Unabated by the explosion, IM and crew continued chanting, protected by an ash-covered Lordy.
Everyone else picked themselves up and stared hopefully. But nothing seemed to be happening.
"I LIVE ON!!!!!!!!!!" cried the GE. It clung to the remnants of the exploded Deus Ex Machina like a bad reference to the third Spider-man movie, as it creaked back to life.
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:50 am Post subject: |
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Feeling a tap on his shoulder Chinaren turned around. Standing behind him was a stranger.
"Hi, I'm from IF Insurance. We just received word that you lost your Deus Ex Machina in a rather dramatic explosion.." the young women shook her head ruefully. "and as your policy has lapsed i wanted to let you know that any subsequent insurance you take out will incur a penalty fee. Although if you sign up today for..."
"But.. i... it just..." Chinaren spluttered to a stop and looked down at his feet. "This is a bit inconvienent, do you mind if we do this at a later date? You see we just.."
The young women thrust her shoulders back and flicked her auburn hair over her shoulders, a look of defiance in her eyes.
"Listen, this is my first day on the job. I don't want to be here as much as you don't want to be dealing with me right now! If i could have found work with an agency that dealt with my speciality then thats where i would be. Not standing here peddling insurance."
Turning on her heel she started to march away. A very intrigued host of Ifians watched her go. Insurance people sure were weird.
"Wait, Miss, um..." Argo couldn't help but think that perhaps someone should ask what this mystery womens 'speciality' was.
"Yes, what?" she paused glancing backwards.
"What is it that you actually do?"
NeverNeverGirl felt the weight of their stares, thinking up the most accurate response she glibly replied...
"I'm an ammunitions, arms and assassination expert... with a minor in The Creation of Poisonous SubSpecies through Magical Mutations."
Hmm, maybe we shouldn't let this one get to far away, Argo thought to himself.
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:53 am Post subject: |
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"...Er, lady!" he shouted, striking the most charismatic pose he could, under the circumstances, almost dislodging the blue bird from the brim of his hat.
NeverNeverGirl looked over her shoulder at Argo seductively, and raised her eyebrow, but was suddenly distracted by some garbled nonsense coming from Idea Master.
"TOU KOOL!!" he yelled, pointing at the mixture of the Greater Evil and the remnants of the DEUS EX-MACHINA as the tiny vial of stupidium, which had previously been lodged in one of its many joints, had worked its way loose and was teetering, ready for a big fall.
"What's he saying?" asked NeverNeverGirl.
"Never mind, NeverNever!" yelled D-Lotus, as he spotted what Idea Master was raving about. "STUPIDIUM!!!! Catch it before it breaks!!!"
"Are you insane?" screamed Dinranwen.
"The Bells!" howled Smudger
"It will smash if nobody catches it! cried Lotus.
Lilith was nearest, and she fearfully held her hands out to catch the falling vial. It fell right into her palms, but her instinct was immediately to get rid of it.
"uoy evah ti!" she said to Idea Master, tossing it over to him.
"hhggruuu, on! uoy evah ti!" he cried, throwing it over to Jezsharp.
"No thank you!" replied Jez, swiping it away. "Over to you, Argo!"
"Whooaah, Rai, it's all yours!"
"Get it out of my sight!" roared Rai, as she whumped the vial with her tail in mid air, towards Dinranwen.
"Eeek! Whoops! Butterfingers..."
The vial flew past Dinranwen, straight into the Greater Evil, and shattered. The tiny mote of Stupidium buried itself into the Greater Evil.
The cavern went quiet. Everyone was waiting for the resultant explosion and inevitable end of existance, but nothing happened.
"Have you all finished?" boomed the Greater Evil. "Now, where was I? Oh yes, Death, Destruction, and total Domination....Er... Umm...Can't think how to...er..."
Lordy turned around and looked at his formidable adversary.
"Problem?" he asked.
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:56 am Post subject: |
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The GE quivered a bit in thought. "Uh, problem...humm...well maybe. But I can't think of what it would be..."
Lordy chuckled. "Well then I don't know about the rest of you but I think this would be the perfect time to bind this thing to m...our wills?"
Rai snorted, shoving herself forward. "Like hell Lordy. We'll never be safe with the GE around. I say it's time to show this gelatinous ball of nasty slime just what happens when you mess with the Citizens of IF."
All around the room spines were suddenly held a little straighter, weapons leveled a little steadier, and nasty grins appeared on every visible face. Lordy glared at Rai a moment before shaking his head. "I hate you."
"I know."
"I'll get you for this."
"You and what army?"
And with that the Citizens began to advance on the GE who looked up and uttered one single word.
"Crap."
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:23 am Post subject: |
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Dinranwen hung back and watched the rest of the members of this little pow-pow close in to the GE. NeverNeverGirl, who was still completely unacclimatized and unaware of the gravity of the situation, was still vainly trying to persuade Chinaren to buy the newest Corrupt and Greedy program that guarranteed payout no questions asked for a reasonable annual fee.
"Oh guys," Din's voice rang out suddenly, "Aren't we forgetting something..."
"Not now Din," Rai said irritably, "I have not eaten a good shred in simply days and that Destoyer of Lordies didn't exactly have a pleasant taste."
"But I thought there was something about a spell..."Din said looking helplessly towards Lordy. Realising that IM, Crady and Lilith were all apparently talking nonsense, and that Stupidium or no, the GE was bound to discover its strength sooner or later if only by blind luck, Realizing that everything was going downhill fast, and that the situation was now chaotic, Dinranwen took to the shadows, taking the confused Noob NeverNever out of Chinaren's way. She handed her some popcorn.
"Here, leave Chinaren alone will ya...he gets testy when you mention things actually involve paying for something. Besides Everyone is bound to realize that they doing this all wrong sooner or later......I only hope its sooner, the GE probably doesn't like tight corners, which is unfortunate since I have always found corners quite comfortable...Don't you think so?"
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:27 am Post subject: |
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NeverNeverGirl furrowed her eyebrows, and just nodded vacantly at Dinranwen, trying to take stock of the situation.
The Greater Evil, yes, she could understand, nasty malevolant piece of work, needs to be dealt with sooner or later, but it was the rest of these characters she couldn't get her head around. Were they good, evil, or just plain nuts?
There was some ugly looking daemon, playing charades with a mage and two strange looking females, who seemed to be talking in a different tongue. There was a man with a bluebird on his hat, another in a heavy cloak covered with green goo, a, er, leather cloak with nobody in it, a huge red dragon, a half-dragon, an elf in a white suit and dark glasses, a hunchback, some green amphibious creature, and various other weird looking folk, who all seemed to be ruled by a mayor that looked like a cross between an orangutang and a chipmonk.
And now she was being invited into a dark corner by some shadowy creature that smelled of tea leaves.
Could anything get worse? Oh yes it could. One of the group of IFians, a cloaked, barefoot, white haired young woman, who had been very quiet for a long time, suddenly rushed into the middle of the cavern, screaming, her arms waving about manically, before collapsing in a trembling heap on the ground.
"Solus! What's wrong?" cried JezSharp, as he rushed to his sister's side.
Solus began to tremble as if possessed.
"Hurry up, guys!" she yelled suddenly in a voice that was clearly not her own. "The shard will not hold the Soul Well together forever! The Realm of the Dead IFians is disintegrating, and it's not closing time at the Tavern, yet!"
NeverNever stared, aghast.
"Oh that's Muaddib..." explained Dinranwen. "He's dead. Solus is our medium between here and the Dead IFians... "
NeverNever nodded, not believing what she was seeing.
Lordy hastily picked up the three vital ingredients to the spell, and gave one each to Idea Master, Lilith and Crady.
Lilith started to comb her hair with the Bone of the End, whilst Idea Master opened the Vial of the Blood of the Beginning, thinking he'd just been handed a refreshing drink. Crady was not sure what to do with the Flesh of the Present, it looked a little icky, so she tried to hand it back to Lordy.
"NO!!!" yelled Lordy, and pointed to the parchments that each of the three were supposed to be reading from.
The Greater Evil looked around at them with great interest, wondering what they were doing.
Polokin, who had been spending the past few minutes helping to free the remaining IFians from their bonds, nudged Lebrenth, and whispered in his ear.
"We need to distract the GE again some how, whilst Lordy finishes the spell. Pass the message on!"
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:28 am Post subject: |
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Lebrenth nodded and passed the message to a distracted China, who passed the message to a terrified D, who gave the message to a menacing BS, who gave the message to Argo, who gave the message to, Ne-ne, who gave the message to Din, who gave the message to Rai, who looked around for something handy to use as a distraction.
"Hey MW." The leather robe turned toward her expectantly. It squealed to find itself suddenly sized in massive talons while the dragoness spat on it and rubbed the saliva all over. Then she hurled it right onto the GE where MW stuck, flailing, to the creatures jelly-like surface. "That's for all the 'Read my Storygames' PMs!"
Some clapping broke out from the assembled Ifians who, all realizing that it would take the GE a few moments to pry the spit covered robe off of itself, formed a ring around the three spellcasters and Lordy. Chinaren chose that moment to clear his throat and give a most mayoral speech.
"Well Lords, Laides, and assembled creatures of IF...it's been a pleasure and if you don't survive I hope you remembered C'Ren and Associates as your undertakers of choice..."
"Oh shut up..." Din muttered.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:33 am Post subject: |
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As the Greater Evil grappled with the wet and gooey MW, IM saw his chance. Although he had no idea what his fellow IFians were saying, he realised that they had deliberately created a diversion.
He turned to Lilith and Crady with a sense of urgency.
"All right, now we have the words that open a rift to read out. Hopefully, this will induce a closing of the rift once we say the trigger word for all these spells..." IM muttered.
"I do hope it's going to be something different this time than 'it'. I mean, honestly, that was the stupidest thing conceivable, tying all your spells to one common word," Crady rebuked.
"Yeah, why not try something nobody would use, like 'obstinate'?" Lilith queried.
"What does that mean?" Crady questioned.
"Stubborn, I think," Lilth replied.
"People, can we stay focused? Lordy thinks these things are important for some reason, so they're most likely components to the spell," IM stated.
"So what do we do with them?" Crady quizzed IM.
"Well, in Mage School, we ate them. Saved us a lot of time on naming them, all we had to do was name ourselves, and the component would be taken out of us that way."
Lilith and Crady looked at their items and then looked at IM's vial. "Why do you get the liquid?" they bemoaned.
"Look, you can argue spell schematics with me until this thing takes over US, or we can save the world here. Which will it be?"
Lilith and Crady shared a glance and a gulp, to be followed by a wide opening of mouths and a gagging noise. The Bone and Flesh would not fit down human throats, and shortly thereafter, the two's faces began to turn blue. It was a good thing that IM was nearly done with the spell. He downed the Blood and began the last reversed sentence.
"Evil Greater forth summon to..."
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:37 am Post subject: |
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The rest of the crowd, except Lily and Crady listened as IM began the last sentence of the spell.
"Live retaerg throf nommus ot rou dnammoc..." cried IM, holding the scroll in one hand, and raising the other aloft. But he didn't get much further, as he started to retch violently.
Lordy rolled his eyes. Was this stupid mage ever going to get anything right? Swiftly he pulled IM by the robes up to the glowing pool, just as IM's stomach launched its contents with the force of a jet engine back out through his mouth.
"Ewww, red spew" commented NeverNevergirl, wrinkling her nose in disgust.
The Blood of the Beginning entered the pool with great force, splashing most of the IFians in the cavern with water. IM teetered dangerously on the edge of the pool, exhausted by the expulsion of the Blood he'd imbibed. Lordy tapped his chin for a few seconds, hesitated, then reluctantly pulled him back to safety.
Meanwhile, Crady and Lilith were now semi concious on the ground, gasping for breath as the Bone and Flesh blocked their respective airways.
Flinging IM aside, Lordy pulled Crady to her feet, who was gagging and frothing as half chewed globs of the Flesh dribbled from her mouth. He grabbed the scroll she was holding and pushed it in her face.
"READ IT!!!" he boomed. His demonic voice reverberated around the cavern, causing a few small rocks to fall from the ceiling. Lordy wriggled his shoulders in pride. Sometimes he even surprised himself at how powerfully evil he could sound.
Crady, who had now turned purple, managed a very good attempt at an expression of total confusion.
"I kniht eh dias daer ti!" explained IM in between gasps, as he lay helplessly on the ground, trying to recover from his unexpected vomiting spree.
Crady focused on the parchment in front of her nose. "llew rouy nepo mlaer daed eth of shtped" she gurgled feebly, hoping she had got the words right.
"Perfect, just perfect..." sighed Lordy, as he casually held her upside down and shook her violently above the bubbling and glowing waters.
The circle of IFians watched, as Crady gagged, choked, and finally coughed up the Flesh of the Present, and listened to the plop plop ploppety plop of it falling into the now frothing pool.
The ground shook as the structure of the well beneath them began to respond to the weaving of the spell. The Greater Evil was drawn down a little into the pool.
Lilith, lying face down, choking, and almost completely deprived of oxygen now, did her best to raise herself onto her forearms. Lordy grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and pulled her up to her feet.
"READ IT!!!" he repeated, waving the final part of the spell in front of her.
It was then when the Greater Evil, having extrapolated the limp and saliva covered shreds of Masterweaver from its form, began to take more than a passing interest at what was going on, and grabbed Lilith by the arm...
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:41 am Post subject: |
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...swinging her into the air, which prevented Lordy from holding her by the neck any longer. "Damn it!" Lordy growled. "I need her to finish that damned spell so we can send your bloody arse back where you came from!"
"Huh?" the GE uttered, not really paying attention to his gasping captive.
Lordy gave a grunt of frustation and rage .. and actually threw a punch at the GE. The blow reverberated up the GE's arm and in turn, shook Lilith thoroughly, dislodging Bone of the End from her mouth towards the pool.
The GE howled in pain and dropped Lilith to the ground as it swung it's injured arm at Lordy and sent him flying across the room.
Right before the Bone plunged into the well, Lilith croaked, "Ssyba eht ni denosirpmi lla eerf dna esaeler!" And then passed out.
Then the sound of screeching and howling filled the cavern as the escaped souls were dragged unwillingly from their new freedom back into the abyss. The misty, wraith-like figures' voices made all of the hairs on the IFian's necks stand on end. Nails on a chalkboard combined with wet brake pads screeching couldn't even begin to describe it.
The souls began to cling to whatever life they could in order to stay out of the well. One in particular decided to cling onto JezSharp, holding onto his ears. "AHHHHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" he yelled loudly, running around in circles.
Kalanna Rai snorted and peeled the clinging shade off with one talon. "Be off with you!" she said, flinging the screeching shade off towards the Soul Well.
Dinranwen, NeverNeverGirl, and Argonaut were holding their own against the clingy souls, dodging and shaking them off in everyway possible.
Chinaren was pouting sadly as he listened to a call from his accountant. "HOW MANY FABLES TO FIX THIS? WHY I OUGHTA..."
And BStheGreat, Polokin, and D-Lotus had begun fighting each other... again.
All the while, the shades screeched louder and increased in number... and soon the sound brought the distracted IFian's to the matter at hand. They hadn't realized just how many souls had actually been released.. until now.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:43 am Post subject: |
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There was a flash, and the GE howled at the sudden light coming from the pool beneath it. The shades had given the pool the critical mass it needed to complete the spell, and another ritual that was tied to the three ingredients as well.
IM stood up, his eyes ablaze with red light. "I," he said in his reversed speech, "Am the Blood of the Beginning. All that was Inter Fable is contained within me, all the archives are mine to behold. The past has divulged it's secrets unto me."
Crady picked herself up off the rocks where she had been tossed. "I am the Flesh of the Present, the City as it is today. Everything that exists today is a part of me. Every storygame, great and small, adds to my power."
Indeed, Crady's eyes had, for some unknown reason, gained a pinkish hue. Lilth shakily stood up while grasping the cave wall, her eyes glazed over. "I am the Bone of the End. I can see all things that are to be, all things that must be, all things that will befall US, in time."
"However," the Three ingredients said in their temporary hosts, "We can all see what should be, and it is not YOU!"
The Three joined their strength, and from their hands formed steely gray chains that wrapped around the GE, dragging it down to the deep well beneath it.
"NOOOOO!" The GE cried out in anger, breaking out of its Stupidium-induced stupor. "NOT THE CHAINS OF TIME! NOT AGAIN! I WAS ALMOST FREEEEED! CURSE YOU THREE! CURSE IF! CURSE US! I SWEAR I WILL BREAK FREE AND DESTROY YOU!"
"And we shall await you once more, as we did thousands of years ago!"
There was another blinding flash as the last metallic tentacle of the GE vanished beneath the pool's glimmering surface. Only China could pipe up in time, and as the noise subsided, the cavern echoed with his howl of "NO! I still haven't paid off the Deus Ex Machina!"
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| Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 3:49 am Post subject: |
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The Hangover
Epilogue
As the echo of the mayor's outcry faded, silence enveloped the cavern, bar the sound of the calm rippling pool, and the drip drip of water from the tip of a cluster of stalagtites near one of the tunnels. The group of IFians suddenly became aware of the cold air circulating about them, and realised that the roof of the cave was mostly gone now. They could see a clear dawn sky still sprinkled with a few of the brightest stars, which one by one gave way to the growing light.
Lordy watched the scene, and quietly seethed. So close! And yet so far. He had met more than his match in the Greater Evil, he realised, and his plans for total domination of IF would have to wait for another day. He turned around suddenly on the person who dared put their hand on his back.
It was Sasuke, of all people.
"Lordy, I...I just wanted to say thank you for saving IF..." said the young half-dragon.
His sentiments were echoed by murmurs from all present - it was as much as they could muster.
IM himself had a splitting headache. He decided to just lay there, and enjoy the breeze. Lilith lay just a few feet away. She had regained consciousness, and was murmuring to herself.
"Ym daeh struh..." she complained
"Hhgruuu, nehw m'I revo siht revognah, ll'I redro emos erom fo revetahw I saw gniknird," replied IM.
"Hey, Lordy!" said Dinranwen. "Can you do something about these three? They're still talking gobbledigook..."
Lordy looked down at the pathetic forms of Crady, Lilith and IM, laying exhausted on the ground.
"I don't see why I should," he leered, recovering his demonic demeanor for a moment. Various pairs of eyes scowled at him, and Rai gently thumped her tail on the ground, menacingly. "Oh, alright then," he replied, flicking his hand in the general direction of the three. "There, t'is done."
IM snapped back to alertness when he realised that he could understand some of the murmurings from the IFians around him. "Hey, everyone's talking forwards, again!" he exclaimed, in amazement. "The curse is gone!"
Slowly, and without a word, the IFians gingerly climbed up the piles of rubble out into the open, Rai helping some of them by allowing them to clamber up her scaly tail.
The group assembled on the grassy ground above the cave, many collapsing with exhaustion.
Masterweaver shuddered, as he realised as they were less than 100 yards from the cliff edge where he had first found Crunchyfrog dangling from a tree root, just 48 hours before.
From their elevated position, the IFians surveyed the city skyline. The terrible fog had gone, but it's departure revealed complete devastation. The RPG characters had had a field day during their short taste of freedom from the confines of the Games Forum. The destruction of Mage Mountain had caused great craters in the ground, destroying most of JezSharp's underground labyrinth.
NeverNeverGirl pulled out a notebook and pencil and began scribbling furiously. At this rate, the insurance company would go bankrupt.
"I guess it's time to go and clean up," sighed Dinranwen.
"Uggh, such a long way to walk, complained Crunchyfrog, "I think I'll lie here for just a bit longer..."
"Not to worry!" grinned Argo, "I'm sure I can give everyone a lift back to the city in my flying machine. I left it in IM's capable hands, so I guess it won't be far from here, right?"
"Ah, yes, er..." said IM, going red. "Er...Argo I was meaning to say something about that. It, well, you see... We were flying along, and, er..."
He was interrupted by the searing heat and crackling of a fireball that whizzed over their heads, and landed in the middle of the group, and morphed into the figure of a woman. Those that were capable, screamed and leapt backwards.
"Xansta!" cried Masterweaver delightedly. "You made it!"
"Hey, Weaver! So I did! Hey, I lost track of everyone at the Open Forum yesterday. What did I miss?"
"Ah, well, you see, just as I suspected all along, Lecro was at the heart of the whole problem. All this stuff about a Soul Well was just a diversion to catch me off my guard. Lecro and I battled it out to the end, whilst everyone here watched," explained Masterweaver excitedly. "Once I had vanquished his swarm of plot devices, he tried to turn me into a giant chicken again, but I was far too quick!... "
Idea Master, Crady, Lilith, Crunchyfrog, D-Lotus, Sasuke, Dinranwen, Smudger, NeverNeverGirl, Chinaren, Argo, BS, Rai, Lebrenth, JezSharp, Solus, Polokin and Lordy quietly left Masterweaver to rave on about his delusional experiences.
"He needs a spell in the Ass Hole," muttered Chinaren.
Slowly, the IFians dispersed as they made their seperate ways back to their city. They all had headaches to varying degrees.
It had been a marvelous New Years party, but, wow, what a Hangover...
The End
Written by:
Argonaut, BStheGreat, Chinaren, Christalnightshade, Crunchyfrog, Dinranwen, D-Lotus, Ideamaster, Kalanna Rai, JezSharp, Lebrenth, Lilith, Lordofthenight, Masterweaver, NeverNeverGirl, Polokin, Sasuke, Smudger, Solus Serpen, Xansta
Directed by:
Crunchyfrog
With apologies to:
Key, Smee, Powers, Muaddib, RavenWing Shady Stoat, Etherial Fauna, and any other 'Dead IFians' featured in the story! 
Director's note:
This story could not have happened without the belief and support of all those who contributed to it. The format was brought to IF from another place, but the IFians transformed it into something new, and made it their own.
The conclusion of this experiment: What works for one community does not necessarily work for another, but with enough positive vibe and effort, wonderful things can happen.
Until next time!
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