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Chinaren
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 Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 10:09 pm Post subject: A Tale of IF. Last Episode - Not with a Whimper... |
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I couldn’t resist it. I know I have too many storygames going on, but this one is just begging to be written. Mind you, I have simply no idea where it will lead, but that’s half the fun!!
A tale of IF.
Chapter 1 – Order please! - Okay, mines a pint.
It was a dark night, and a biting winter wind howled down the alleyways of the City. It whistled through Muaddibs’ district, where the paint Muaddib had slapped on the walls in a desperate effort to brighten up the area had already been covered over with billpostings. One* peeled off in the wind and fluttered to the ground to be stepped on by a couple Business ladies** hurrying back to their flat. It was simply too cold for business tonight. Not even Smee was on the prowl on such a cold eve, so there was half the business gone for a start.
The wind blew on, through the run-down ‘Powers That Be’ District, where the sewer that Key had finally agreed to install had frozen in its gutter, making the middle of the street a treacherous place to walk.
On up into the marketplace, where several discarded copies of the IF-quirer blew like unlikely pigeons past the shops, now shuttered and barred for the night. Up Toffee Hill road, towards the nobs’ district, where the City Council members resided in their grand mansions. Past the Mayor’s vast abode, still under repair from his record-breaking party, and round the corner past Smee’s mansion, where guardian Hellhounds roamed the grounds in search of rule-breakers and people who didn’t put a proper decision point in.
Past all these and more the wind blew, howling through the cobbled streets and making the citizens of IF shiver inside their houses and poke the fire higher in the hearth, glad they were inside on such a night.
Up it went, taking a discarded brassier from some unknown occupant with it, high in the air, flapping like a red and gold laced bat up over the gates of the Council building to bounce of a window before falling to the ground.
On the other side of that very window an unusual meeting was taking place, unusual insomuch that many of the City Council were actually in attendance, and especially so as they had had to drag their sorry asses through the city in relative secrecy on such a night.
Key had performed ‘The Summoning’. An unusual ritual which involved dressing up in leather garments and dancing around candles of peculiar shape. Most council members argued that this was an outdated form of summoning, and Key should just use the communications Orbs, but Key pointed out that most of the City Council were: ‘Slimy bastards who screen their incoming messages and ignore his calls.’ Hence the Olde way, which was more tiring, but had the advantage of being magically secure. Besides, Key rather liked the leather garments, though they were a little tight these days.
Shady Stoat poked the enormous fireplace in the main hall, stirring up the already huge blaze even more.
‘Good grief woman, aren’t you hot enough already?’ complained Tramp in a Storm. ‘You would think with all that fur you would be the warmest of all of us!’
‘It’s alright for you young un’s’ Stoat retorted, brandishing the poker and knocking a glass of whisky out of Powers That Be’s Hand by accident. ‘Oops! Sorry Powers. Some of us are a getting on a bit you know.’
‘Hear hear sister!’ said Phang from her seat halfway down the hall. She had one leg hanging over the chair and was deep into her second bottle of Old Stoat Special Reserve. She was wearing a light robe and was obviously not feeling the cold at all.
‘Let’s have some order please!’ Shouted Smee, wielding a small hammer he had stolen from IngrotheChundyer’s cloak and banging it on the table.
Ingro was over by the buffet table trying to pile more strawberry flavored pickled newt-eyes onto his plate, which Ravenwing had brought in, and so didn’t notice this small theft.
‘Now all of you lot! Come to order please!’ Key entered the room like a tank breaking through a house on D-Day. He had changed out of the leather summoning corset and into his normal red and yellow striped robes, making him look a little like a gigantic ambulatory beach ball.
‘Is that you Key?’ Said Muaddib, ‘I didn’t recognize you sober!’
Chinaren was sitting near the buffet, trying to eat some leftover mince pies and drink a glass of Gungle Juice red label, whilst simultaneously keeping an eye on his moneybags which he was sitting on. ‘Must be urgent for Key not to be drinking this late on in the night. Is the Blue Shellfish closed?’
Key ignored the banter and walked with dignity up to the head of the conference table where he sat down heavily in his chair, then stood up again to try and wipe off the cream cake that someone had placed there. Ethereal Fauna and Phang tittered and nudged each other. Key gave up, sat down again with a squishing sound and snatched the hammer away from Smee. Banging it down on the table he shouted in his booming voice. ‘City Council Members! Please come to order! Sit down you bunch of laggards!’
Slowly the room came to a semblance of order, delayed only a little due to a small argument between Stoat and Shanty over who owned the purple cushion.
When everyone was finally seated Key stood his considerable bulk up and addressed the Council in his sternest voice. “Esteemed Council members, I have used the Olde Summoning to gather you here on this dark night, yes yes, I know it is not convenient, you will be recompensed for any business loss Chinaren, and no Powers, I haven’t forgotten about your request for new drains, ah… where was I? Oh yes. I have used the Olde methods to gather you here urgently, for a dire situation is facing us.’
The City Council members leaned forward as one as Key licked his lips nervously and glanced from left to right. When he spoke again he spoke in a low voice. ‘Esteemed colleagues. The situation is this…’
*Should any one have bothered to read it they would have seen: ‘Desperate and needy? No friends or family? Call Phang’s house of unlikely chance! We can offer…’ Whatever Phang could offer was lost to an unfortunate tear in the sheet.
**Of the evening variety.
>>>>>>
Hehe! Alright! I have a few ideas, but let’s here some more! What could have forced our esteemed Mayor away from his booze and floozies to drag the whole council together?
Is it a plot from OF? How about some fiendish shapeshifter invasion? (I quite like this idea) Suggestions please, use your imaginations and make them tasty! I have a good feeling about this story!
<<<<<<
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Last edited by Chinaren on Fri Oct 06, 2006 7:22 am; edited 26 times in total
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Smee
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| Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:11 pm Post subject: |
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Entertaining start. 
Too early in the morning on the day back to work for me to have any interesting ideas that don't involve sleeping for another 4 hours.
I'll be back later.
Happy Writing. 
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Chinaren
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Key
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| Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:35 pm Post subject: |
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I have a good feeling about this story, too, chinaren. I am sure it is destined for greatness. 
A few ideas of what might be ailing our fair city...
* Due to the constant influx of fables, inflation has run rampant in the City. 100 fables barely buys a cup of coffee anymore. How do we get rid of the extra fables and avoid the collapse of our economy? * A tribe of giant ravenous moles from the Underdark has tunneled into the sewers. * The Idea Mines that supply all of the city's raw material are nearly depleted and will soon be empty. * A new superhighway is soon to be built directly between the City of OH and the City of IS, completely bypassing the traditional trade route that runs through the cities of IF and AHA. This would mean a huge loss of extortion fees, uh, tax revenue, which would spell disaster for our economy.
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 12:06 am Post subject: |
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Excellent first chapter - although I appear to have put on about thirty years over christmas (vows to go on a diet and lose it all again) 
How about... after the inexplicable mugging, maiming and general humiliation of one Mal-Fait in our streets of IF (some time shortly after the Arena of Death finished), his family have sent an OF-ian assassin out? Only those that hired him know his brief, but he may have multiple targets.
I'll think some more. It's still early here
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 5:51 am Post subject: |
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What - No. Not Mal-Fait. *Breaks down and sobs in corner*
he had so much left to do with his life - win the Blood Bowl 'IF League' for one.
I think an invasion from OF would be good, spear-headed by Mal-Fait. (much, much better)
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:08 am Post subject: |
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This one does sound entertaining. Some good ideas already, that I doubt I could best. Unless of course there was an impending melt-down at the IF nuclear power plant or something. Or maybe all the raw waste dumped into the city water supply was causing unusual mutations...like a few IFians were turning *gasp* normal somehow.
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The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Dean
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:24 am Post subject: |
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Heheh, sounds like an interesting story. I've been writing for too long today, and can't think of any more ideas. But I do have one question: can I live in the attic? 
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Idea master
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 8:12 am Post subject: |
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"Fellow Ifians, we are facing an evil plot from two of our number that did not show, plus one other. It seems that Idea Master and Cowofdoom666 have conspired against the rest of the city. With IM's magic and Cow's technical expertise, they plan to invent a machine that will make even the lowest person into a moderator...They are in league with Sorrow A, who has closed the Idea Mines with false riots and fires. We must put a stop to this action right away!"
"Why don't we form a comitee and staff it with my brethren?" Asked Phang from a nearby chair.
"A COMITEE?! Is that the best you can think of?"
"It'd be a very bearucratic comitee..."
"Are those three putting in proper grammer and decison points in their plots?" Queried Smee.
"IT DOESN'T BLOODY MATTER!!"
"Yes it does! Fido hasn't eaten in weeks! He's a bag of bones!"
The rest of the rabble degenerated into a chaotic mass with their own ideas, ranging from a gigantic space vaccum* to evil robotic cheese.
*Nicknamed anything from suckolot to Sir suckolous
It's the best I could think of on short notice. Do ya like it Chin?
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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Mmm, I knew I shouldn't have asked for ideas! Now I am overwhelmed! 
I will leave this up for a few days and, and then I think for this one chapter, instead of a vote I may merge as many of these ideas as possible, in my own twisted way of course.
Keep em coming!
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Idea master
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| Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:59 am Post subject: |
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I also haven't noticed D-Lotus, Resio, or the Rave and Wing twins. Feel free to use them in some evil plot as well.
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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I copied the list from the Moderators list in the CA, they should all be council members.
Time for another chapter I think...
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 6:53 pm Post subject: Chapter 2 - Devious machinations. |
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Chapter 2 – Devious machinations.
“Esteemed colleagues. The situation is this…” Key continued in his most dramatic voice, “It has come to my attention, from various cunning sources I have at my disposal...”
“The ‘comfort ladies’ down at The Pampered Plumper” said Saxon out of the corner of his mouth to Cow of Doom, who nodded in agreement.
“..at my disposal” continued Key in a loud voice frowning at Saxon, “…that a campaign of disruption, diversion, destruction and er, possible domination has been initiated by unknown hostile agents. My personal guess is it is those toilet weirdoes over in OF.”
There was a general gasping and mumbling from the Council members, except for Phang who cheered. She had been drinking steadily since the day before, and was having trouble following events, or even remaining in her chair.
“This is an outrage!” said Smee, banging on the table with his fist, and looking longingly at Ingro’s hammer, which Key still grasped.
“What’s to be done?” asked Muaddib.
“What have you heard?” asked Random at the same time.
“Why?” asked Chinaren, spitting mince pie crumbs over the table and Sparta, who gave him an annoyed glance.
Key leaned back in his throne, which creaked under the strain. “Why indeed Mr. Chinaren. Why indeed.” He twiddled with the hammer, which Ingro noticed for the first time and squinted to get a better look at it. “I believe it started about the time your Arena competition winner, that bloody Mal-Fat fellow was ambushed and given a sound thrashing on his way out of the city. I am also able to tell you that a certain 200Fables he won was forcibly removed from his person.” Key looked momentarily smug, as if remembering a particularly pleasant moment of money retrieval.
“You and your bloody competition” said Cow of Doom. “If you had just put it in the Traditional area this would never have happened…”
“Bah! I would not have made any money either” snarled Chinaren back. “I mean, who goes to that district anyway? Geeky students mostly. No money there, I may have well have put it in Linear.”
Saxon started to rise from his seat in protest. “I’ll have you know…”
“Gentlemen gentlemen!” interrupted Key, banging the hammer again and leaving circular marks on the table. “What started the whole affair is no longer the issue. What is the issue is that our precious City is essentially under attack. I have had reports coming in, subtle ones mind, of various incidents. Using my vast intellect…” He paused a moment as Shady Stoat seemed to have a coughing fit. “…Using my vast intellect and my spy network…”
“You have a spy network?” asked Ravenwing. “How come we didn’t know about this?”
“I knew” said Tramp. “I have been feeding them bogus information for months now.”
Key glared at the two and they subsided. “Using a variety of methods available to me I have traced certain incidents back to the agents.”
“The Wheelidib affair!” cried Idea Master.
“No, that really was a shortage of labor at the time,” said Chinaren. “I had to pay my press-gangs overtime to recruit more workers, barely covered my costs.” He looked sad for a moment, and took a deep swig of Gungle juice to cheer himself up.
“So what have they done?” Asked Stoat, taking a delicate sip of sherry from a pint mug and nibbling on a cream cake.
Key sighed and put down the hammer. Ingro looked closely at it, then started to check his pockets. “Firstly, raw waste from the Idea mines has been slowly added to the water supply over recent weeks. I had an analysis done by Dean in his attic, and there can be no doubt. Mutation-causing levels of raw Idearium* waste are now present in our water.”
There was an angry rumbling from the council though no one seemed to be panicking, probably because few of them actually drank the water, preferring stronger beverages.
Key looked a little disappointed at the lack of reaction, but pressed on anyway. To his right Smee’s hand slowly edged towards the hammer. “Secondly, a large number of Giant Moles have been seen in the sewers…” He paused as Powers’ let out a long ironic laugh. “They have been voraciously eating everything that they can reach.” He paused for a moment. “Actually, the sewers have never been more efficient, I don’t know why we didn’t think of them before.”
“Possibly because they climb out and eat people?” Suggested Random.
Key shrugged, causing most of him to wobble. “I am sure any reports of half eaten bodies would have reached me by now.”
“Acshully” slurred Phang, “theer sheems to have been a suspiss.. sushpsh… sush…a lot of meat piesh been sherved in the EVIL guildhoush lately…” she squinted at Chinaren suspiciously.
Chinaren shrugged. “Don’t look at me. Lord of the Night does most of the cooking.” He paled a little as what he had just said sunk in. “Oh.”
“Then there are the rumors of an Assassin loose in the city,” said Key, trying to divert attention back to the topic at hand.
There was a slightly more alarmed response to this statement.
“Who is the Assassin after?” asked Ingro, distracted from the hammer for a moment.
Key shrugged again. “My sources haven’t revealed this information. However, in a more alarming turn of events, I believe the assassin could be a shape-changer!”
“What?” Cried Jnmrcs, “That means it could look like anyone! Someone in this room could be the assassin even!” He looked wildly right and left.
The council members looked at each other with sudden suspicion. “You know, Chinaren hadn’t been posting much lately.” accused Shanty.
“Hey hey! I’ve been busy!” said Chinaren raising his hands. “Christmas is a busy time of year for business you know. More likely Dean. I mean it’s a bit suspect, him returning to the city at this particular moment! Co-incidence? I think not!”
“No, it’s got to be Smee!” said Ethereal Fauna. “He disappeared recently, and now he comes back acting all innocent!” She narrowed her eyes at Smee suspiciously.
Smee raised his arms in a gesture of innocence. “I was visiting relatives!” He protested.
“Ay! In OF were they?” Said Idea Master, half standing and pointing a long, yellow nailed finger.
“Ladies! Gentlemen! Things!” Key’s baritone voice rang out over a rising level of accusations. “Please! Calm down! I am sure we can get Dean to run some tests,” he paused a second. “Once we check him over first of course.”
The Council members slowly subsided back into their chairs, still casting suspicious glances at each other.
“I have also heard rumours that certain citizens have been working on a secret machine that would make anyone a moderator…” he was forced to stop speaking as the entire Council erupted.
“What!?...Outrageous!... It must be stamped on at once!... Unthinkable!... A compete disaster!... It cannot be allowed!...” Everyone was on their feet and shouting angrily at the same time. Smee took the opportunity to sneak back the hammer whilst everyone was distracted.
“Please calm down! Please, everyone!” Shouted Key, looking for his hammer and, failing to find it, banging Stoat’s mug on the table, sending sherry everywhere.
Slowly the council members subsided, sinking back into their seats with angry rumblings.
“So what do you propose to do about these hidden enemies of ours Key?” Asked Sparta.
“That,” said Key relaxing a little, “is why I have summoned you eminent Council Members. The problems as I see them are:” he raised a pudgy finger, encrusted with rings of precious metals and jewels. “One. How to keep the giant rats…”
“Moles” corrected Smee.
“…moles, rats, whatever down in the sewers, efficiently cleaning but not eating any tax-payers and hence reducing revenue.” Another finger, equally jewelry laden joined the first. “Two. Find this shapeshifter assassin and either kill him, or (preferably) hand him over to Phang, when she has sobered up enough to stand anyway, for ‘interrogation’.”
“Hurrah!” shouted Phang, having heard her name mentioned. She lifted her bottle, drank the remaining liquid and then slowly slid off her chair and under the table. Ethereal Fauna quickly stole her cushions.
“Er, four?” Key raised another finger, but had lost count. “Do something about this waste problem from the Idea mines. Maybe dump it nearer OF or something. There may be other threats that I have not discovered yet of course.”
“Yes yes, these matters are all very important and everything” said Idea Master standing up and banging his fist on the table. “What we want to know is: What about this moderator machine?”
Several of the council nodded, and “hear hear” echoed around the room.
Key raised his hand; showing off more gold than was extracted from the precious metal mines of IS in a month. “Please fellow Councilors, remain calm. I am sure we will think of something.” Leaning forward he added: “Together.” He reached out and took a deep draught from Stoat’s mug of sherry. “The question is, what?”
Standing on an upturned flower pot outside and peering through the window a shadowy figure chuckled to see the Council of IF argue amongst themselves. Then the flower pot wobbled and chose that moment to crack, causing the figure to lose balance and fall backwards into the begonia bed with a dull thud…
*Idearium: Extracted from the Idea Mines south of IF and processed in the various Idea mills to help generate the many storygames. The glowing blue waste from the process is carefully and scientifically dumped in the forest by men with wheelbarrows.
>>>>>>>>>>
Well there you have it IF fans. A glimpse inside the revered halls of the council. The city is being sabotaged! How shall we combat this insidious threat? Split into teams perhaps and investigate? Steal into the embassy of OF in the hope of finding something out? Call for a crate of Grog and get wasted? Draw a moustache on Phang while she is out cold?
Currently the Council members are in this story, but fear not, other well known IFians will appearing in later episodes!
Now then, let’s see what you can think of! *Covers his eyes*
<<<<<<<<<<<
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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no - mal-fait got beat - its not fair
he was going to lead your team to victory chinaren - but now
| Quote: | | that a certain 200Fables he won was forcibly removed from his person |
don't even think about deducting my fables key - i need all the ones i can get to save up for arena of death two
i think the teams should split into groups... sorry, the council members should split into teams, and make their way throughout the city, to try and discover more knowledge.
and i think i'm going to have to nominate this story chinaren - you're in luck
"Meat Pie, guv'nor?"
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 11:42 pm Post subject: |
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Wonderful! 
What to do, what to do...
Right. The most responsible members of the council are going to form teams and investigate the sewers, the embassy, the idea mines and anywhere sensible that they can think of.
That's what the responsible people will do. THey'll probably end up with teams of 1 the moment their backs are turned!
Let's see... the guild of EVILers is going to sneak back to their guildhouse and summon the dark forces to tell them what's going on.
Meanwhile, the roleplayers are going to try and blow up the OFian embassy because they're sure those B******s are behind the whole thing.
The techies are going to go away and 'look into' the problem of the Moderator Machine (ie. see if they can draw lots of diagrams and scribble lots of notes and work out how it's been done).
There's probably more... but you begin to get the idea?
*nudges Chinaren* Hey, you can open your eyes now!
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:40 am Post subject: |
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| Firstly we need to bring to attention the problem at Muaddib's district. Someone has been flooding ym domain with cheaper hoes-for-hire, and Ive steadily been losing money...JUSTICE! AT ONCE!
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:53 am Post subject: |
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| Shady Stoat wrote: | Right. The most responsible members of the council are going to form teams and investigate the sewers, the embassy, the idea mines and anywhere sensible that they can think of.
That's what the responsible people will do. THey'll probably end up with teams of 1 the moment their backs are turned!
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there's responsible members on the council now?
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:21 am Post subject: |
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| lordofthenight wrote: | | Shady Stoat wrote: | Right. The most responsible members of the council are going to form teams and investigate the sewers, the embassy, the idea mines and anywhere sensible that they can think of.
That's what the responsible people will do. THey'll probably end up with teams of 1 the moment their backs are turned!
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there's responsible members on the council now? |
Okay then - jnmrcs and Smee form teams, only to find themselves left behind. Better? 
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Smee
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:25 am Post subject: |
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Entertaining as always
Give me 5 minutes with my appropriated hammer and the moderator machine and we'll have no more problems.
The moustache on Phang sounds unavoidable. I suggest Non-invisible invisible permanent rainbow biro manufactured by Chinaren Inc (although we can probably get one cheaper from Smeebay ).
Perhaps a brave emissary of IF could travel to OF and speak with their leader (Padlock). Get the official OFian response to these claims.
If I think of anything else I'll be back.
Happy Writing.
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:37 am Post subject: |
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Hilarious, as expected.
*draws moustache on Phang after stealing her cushions*
And most likely I'll fill her hand with a dollop of slug slime...I've excess since appearing in that one story...and then tickle her nose with a feather. *giggle*
Smee should take that hammer he's re-acquired and bash in the evil moderator making machine.
*goes off to think some more*
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:39 am Post subject: |
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| Smee wrote: | | Give me 5 minutes with my appropriated hammer and the moderator machine and we'll have no more problems. |
Take too long to type a post and someone steals your original ideas.
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Smee
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:42 am Post subject: |
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Such an outrageous theft of Smeewaves 
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:48 am Post subject: |
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*bottles Smeewaves and stores next to her stash of Smee Slime*
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Idea master
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 9:34 am Post subject: |
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I think that a competent team of mages could find the anwsers to most, if not all, of the problems. The problem is the competent part. The best mage in the city is drunk *hic* and many others are nowhere to be found. *Thanks, huge moles!* What we need...More than anything else...is... *Shudder* to recruit OFian mages to assist us in finding ours. Then we slay the buggers where they sleep. Thus solving a few problems/hatreds/blood fueds/general loathings/etc...
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 10:26 am Post subject: |
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Hilarious!
Personally, once I've sobered up enough, I, Phang, Mistress of the Darkness and Queen of all that is Morally Wrong, shall dress up in the black-stained leather garb of the night warrior and hunt for the evil mastermind obviously behind everything...obviously stopping off for 'lunch' at the homes of every particularly good-looking male.
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Key
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| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 9:06 pm Post subject: |
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We need to find out for certain who's behind this attack. I suggest:
1) sending a spy into the City of OF, to find out whether they're really behind this and what their nefarious plans are
2) have one of the Council Members act as a double-agent, pretending to sell out the Council in order to find out who's behind this
3) setting a trap for one of the miscreants (such as whoever's dumping the Idearium) and persuading him to talk via methods that involve large teeth and great heights
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 2:08 am Post subject: |
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| *raps knucles on table* and the business about the brothels needs looking into.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Muaddib wrote: | | *raps knucles on table* and the business about the brothels needs looking into. |
I believe Smee is doing ongoing, indepth research into those!
There is some good stuff here! I am running a bit slow these days, until I get my bl**dy internet connection installed it is difficult for me to refer to the forums and comments! Grr.
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 1:55 am Post subject: Chapter 3 part a - A cunning plan... |
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Chapter 3 part a – A cunning plan…
“Well,” Smee stood up, subtly pocketing the hammer as he did so. “I for one am not about to let some… some common citizen go about wearing the badge of Moderatordom! I will search the city! I will leave no stone unturned! No house unsearched! No person un-frisked! Who’s with me? Who shall aid me in this task?” He raised his hand in a dramatic pose and looked around.
No one was paying attention.
Fauna, Shanty and Tramp were busy drawing on Phangs’ face with a variety of markers, Key and Stoat were involved in a tug of war over Stoat’s mug of Sherry, Chinaren, Saxon and Sparta were having a heated argument about the Arena competition, Ingro was looking under the table for his hammer and the others were either eating, drinking or holding low conversations with each other.
“AHEM!” said Smee in a loud voice, making Key jump and lose his hold on the mug. Stoat, pulling with all her might fell over backwards in her chair pouring the remains of the sherry all over herself in the process.
“I SAID” said Smee, having finally managed to get most of the council’s attention, “I will lead the search for this evil Moderator machine. Who wants to join me?”
Key spoke before anyone else could get a word in. “Wait wait! We can’t just all go off and do our own thing! We need a poll! A vote! Otherwise things will descend into anarchy!”
Powers That Be glanced at the snoring Phang under the table. Her face was now a variety of colors, and a large dose of some sort of slime had been placed in either hand. “Yes, we wouldn’t want anarchy would we?” he said dryly.
Key ignored him and thumped the desk with his fist, having run out of hammers and mugs. “Smee has volunteered to head the Moderator machine task force,” he said. “Now, who should be assigned to investigate this cunning plot?”
Idea Master held up his hand. “I shall travel to OF, to investigate things there.” He said.
“Very good then. That’s more like it. I think we should get Phang, once she wakes up, sniffing around the City for the culprits here.”
“What about these unlicensed brothels in my area?” asked Muaddib.
“Indeed indeed.” Said Key holding up his hands to stem the flood of volunteers for that task. “We have the Moles, the Idearium mines, the assassin, as well. Any volunteers?”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Just chapter 3 part A here. As Key said: We have Smee leading the Mod machine team, IM heading of to OF to look there, and Phang will check out the city once she has finished scrubbing her face.
That leaves the Idea mines, the Assassin, the Moles and the Brothels, plus anything else you nefarious lot can think of.
Volunteers please, so I can get on with chapter 3, part B. If any other City regulars have a preference as well, please speak up, this things gonna spread!
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:03 am Post subject: |
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*thinks...*
OK, CHinaren is going to want to get his hands on some raw Idearium, so he's going to volunteer to... ahem... investigate the mines
Some clever swine is going to suggest that you set a Stoat to catch a Mole... so I guess I'm dragged off in that direction with my assisting party of victi... I mean, volunteers.
As for volunteers to investigate the brothels, it won't so much be a case of volunteering as stampeding! All those who can't be grabbed fast enough will be out of the Mayor's Chambers and on their way to the Muaddib district faster than you can say "Next, please!"
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:06 am Post subject: |
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Excellent Stoat. I had three ideas alone from your post*! You are down for the sewers then!  Me for the mines eh? Mmm, not a bad idea...
BTW: I am thinking of getting a map of the city started, based on this story and others dotted around.
*Though I have now forgotten one of them.
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:36 am Post subject: |
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| Personally I want to look after my interests....but since so many people will be eager to help me out, I'll leave it to them and volunteer for the Idea mines.
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Smee
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:45 am Post subject: |
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I do like Stoat's idea - if Stoats can flush out a rabbit then a mole or dozen shouldn't be a problem.
I think Chinaren's only motivation to find out what is causing the waste Idearium is to get chance to capture any of the mutants for cheap labour in his various dungeons and fight pits. I doubt he'll be that inclined to stop such a profitable supply of extras.
Best send him to the Muaddib district where I...ahem, my spies, have noticed him wandering around carrying a large bag with $ on it. Clearly he knows his way around and would quickly sort out any problems.
I think Random is the best choice for sending down the mines. Any attempt to mutate him will have no effect on a Master of all that is not likely.
Powers (I believe) has unique gifts in understanding people who assume other identities. Send him after the shape-shifting assasin.
That's all I have right now.
Happy Writing.
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Muaddib
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 3:11 am Post subject: |
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I'll accompany Random to the mines.
I would also like a frontman in my district, who reports to me directly rather than through the Council.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 3:18 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Muaddib district where I...ahem, my spies, have noticed him wandering around carrying a large bag with $ on it. |
LOL! I believe this character must have been the shapeshifter!!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 1:54 pm Post subject: |
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HA HA HA!!!! Great story Mr. Chinaren. I hope I can feature soon, although im way off the City Council Member status.....
Anyway, I agree with Stoat; sending you down the mines and her down the sewers is a great idea. And everyone else to the brothels.....
Less people to see me while I go about my buisness....
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Idea master
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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I personally voulenteer to check out my own Idea Mines. I am, after all, the Idea Master, am I not? I will find what is behind all this cutting corners*! And while I'm at it, I'll order up some raw Idearium in the form of a dispell illusion/show true form spell. That way, I can find out where our shape-shifter assassin is hiding. And afterwards a nice bout of 'Investigation' in Muaddib's corner of the city would not go amiss.
*And if I ordered a change of policy, I guess I'll have to change it again. If it was someone else, then they'll learn what happened to the original Sorrow that we are now on Sorrow_A!
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| Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | nice bout of 'Investigation' in Muaddib's corner of the city would not go amiss. |
LOL! You are going to be busy IM!
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Idea master
Magus Extraordinaire
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| Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 9:18 am Post subject: |
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If I'm not seemingly busy, be very, very frightened. This way, I can kill about three birds with three stones released one after the other. I'll team up with Random* and investigate my own mines.
*And by 'team up with Random,' I mean 'Arrange to have him backstabbed at a later date if he gets too nosey for his own continued breathing.'
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ethereal_fauna
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| Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 10:19 am Post subject: |
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Not that I'm not a good and upstanding citizen, because I am concerned about these horrible threats to our fair city...
but now that I'm finished drawing moustaches on Phang, I feel I should sacrifice and make a documentary. A social endeavor, where I spend months living amongst the primitive Banana People and observe and record their mysterious ways. With the knowledge I gain, we may be able to find a solution to their ever-spreading encroach on civilization, and rid IF of the unsightly corner shops cropping up everywhere.
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