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Kalanna Rai
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 Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:20 pm Post subject: |
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You readie...you votie...now.
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Smee
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:42 am Post subject: |
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A poll already - it's only been 2 days and I haven't read it yet
*throws toys out pram  *
It's gotta be a game of Twister 
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Last edited by Smee on Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:49 am; edited 1 time in total
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:48 am Post subject: |
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Sorry 'bout that Smee but I'm trying to move a bit faster in getting the polls up so that I can leave them up longer and gain more votes. I don't have the luxury of sitting on my heels for a week here and there inbetween chapters...have to get as much done as I can while I can don'tcha know.
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:50 am Post subject: |
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Well in that case I vote for RPS and get back to sitting on my heels 
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:57 am Post subject: |
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Ha! You sitting on your heels...right and I'm an overgrown salamander! I have a feeling that you might just become the busiest man in the city soon...Good luck with that! 
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 2:57 pm Post subject: |
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well, loooks like stoat's suggestion has won 100% of the vote!  but it may be a while before we see the next chapter  *dips heels in creek* (cooling powers)
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:48 pm Post subject: |
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No Bean...the whole reason the vote went up so early is so that I can get crackin on the next chapter....Charming is one of my favorite stories to write...I don't feel like myself if I havn't posted a chapter of Charming lately.
Besides...it seems to have a loyal following. 
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:43 am Post subject: |
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Alright, caught up and voted again. Nice job Rai
*waits patiently for the next chapter*
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| Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 12:42 am Post subject: |
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Fine then...it's rock, paper, scissors at ten paces...
-------------
Chapter Fourteen: When Angels Attack!
"Or..." Grim held out one bony fist, cupping it in his free palm. Cyre narrowed her eyes.
"One second." She moved back over to the card game, tossed all her chips in, and laid her cards on the table. "Call." In a matter of seconds she was raking the pile of gold over to her side of the table. Charming watched it disappear god knows where. Then, with a motion like that of a stalking jungle cat, Cyre walked back over and put out her own fist, cupping it just like grim had.
"For his soul..." She nodded once at Grim's words, then they both began the chant. "Rock, paper, scissors!" Slamming their hands up and down to the beat on 'scissors' they both took one of the three poses.
"Too bad Grim. Scissors cut paper. I win." The Grim reaper looked stricken.
"Best two out of three." They repeated the process again and again Cyre won. "Best three out of five." Once more they slapped fist on palm and once more Cyre was victorious. "Best four out of seven..." and on and on it went until finally, Cyre blew her top at "Best eleven thousand nine hundred and ninety five out of eleven thousand nine hundred and ninety nine."
With an amazonian shriek she whipped out her bracelet and ripped it in two. A blast of white light followed causing everyone in the DMV of Hell to cringe or singe, depending...When Charming had use of his eyes back he nearly fainted at the sight. Cyre had been cute in pink, foxy in bad-girl clothing, but now, dressed to literally kill is was one hot godess...and as the current Cupid, dispenser of love, he knew hot godesses when he saw them.
Her robe was of the blackest midnight black with the rim of her deep cowled hood running directly into the plunging neckline. A delicate black lace webbed across her front where the deep black, velvet?, was slit as daringly as J-Lo's green oscar dress from years back and had a silken ribbon criss-crossing back and forth. The same black lace webbing continued along the tops of her arms, from shoulder to base of her fingers, with the solid black along the bottom.
Her skirt was slit from the waist down with that black webbing holding it together from the top of the slit to mid-thigh. The boots were daring, coming to mid calf and being flat soled and supple, ninja boots, with black silk stockings accentuating her elegant, supple legs.
Her silver wings arced white lightings along their length and between the primarys. They weren't tightly folded as she usually kept them, but were already manteling into a combat position. Held in a loose, but ever ready, two handed grip, was the full eight inch length of the Dragon Headed Scyth.
Her eyes snapping silver murder Cyre stalked forward on the Grim Reaper, who's own scyth, if ever a more useless piece of enchanted wood existed Charming had never seen it, gripped white knuckle in his boney hands.
Before he could so much as say a word Cyre swept out with her scyth, tearing through Grim's tattered robe like the rotten sacking it was, shearing through his stolen bones in such a way that they blew into powder. In a matter of moments Grim was nothing but a worried, but still grinning, skull. Slowly, each movement a dance so sinful even Hell sizzled, Cyre walked over and picked up Grim's scyth.
The moment she touched it it was transformed from a twisted, chipped, blackened hunk of outdated farming equipment, into a scyth who's beauty was only surpassed by the Dragon Headed monstrosity that rested across her shoulders. It's blade was a smokey silver and elegantly serrated, with three concentric ebony rings dangling off of the protrusion where the blade met the shaft.
The shaft was a deep black wood, with beautiful carvings of the many symbols of death etched as deeply into it as the blood grooves were into the blade. The weapon exuded the same dangerous air as the Dragon, yet had none of it's counterpart's grim shine and heavenly craftsmanship...this was Hell's weapon of death.
Slowly Cyre lined the blade up with Grim's skull and smiled into the too wide eyesockets. "Look's like you've been replaced. Fore!" With that she drew back the scyth and made a perfect golf swing using Grim's head, and her new Ebony Ringed Scyth, as a club and ball. Grim went flying across the room, his skull shattering into powder at the impact. Across hell there was a moment of stunned silence for the Grim Reaper who was no more.
Then, behind Charming, a single pair of hands started clapping. Without even turning to look Cyre hissed the name from between her teeth. "Uncle Lu." With an air of confidence he didn't really posess Charming whirled, drawing Psyche and knocking arrow to string instantly, and pointed his loaded weapon directly at the man in the white suit behind him.
Lucifer, a.k.a Satan, had indeed been the most beautiful of the angels at one time. Now he had a permenant sunburn from the fires of hell that gave him the never to be trendy 'boiled lobster' look. His wings had long ago been charred into so much ash but the ever cunning Father of Lies had stitched together a replacement pair from the bones and skin of fallen angels.
His long black hair was pulled back in an italian mobster style ponytail, and his too white fangs gleamed when he smiled. "Well, well, well. My little niece is finally embracing her darker side is she? No more hanging on the hem of daddy's robe are you Cyre?"
Slowly, one scyth in each hand, Cyre came to stand next to Charming. He couldn't see anything of her face, hidden in the shadows of the deep hood, but he could hear her well enough. Especially when she told him to lower his bow. For a moment he wanted to disobey but, realizing he was in over his head here, he decided to leave it to Cyre. She was the professional after all.
Thus, as he put his arrow away he looked at Psyche. "Now would be a good time for those Terms of Use and Agreement." Slowly Psyche began to tell him everything he needed to know about being Cupid but since that conversation was classified info as far as mortals were concerned focus shifted back to the showdown between Cyre and her deiviant uncle.
"Desperate times, desperate measures. I'm not too fond of the atmosphere here in Hell. Too much fire, too much brimstone...I'm never going to get the smell of sulfur out of my nose for the next two hundred years." Satan chuckled.
"Ah just keep on bitching. I didn't tell you to pick up the Scyth, you did that on your own. And I must say it's become quite the weapon in your hands...almost like it was made for you." You could almost hear Cyre grinding her teeth.
"I'm not coming to work for you..ever so just get that thought out of your head. You might have won my mother over to your cause but I'm a bit more...tempered you might say. Her wings flicked once, a black tarnish now visible on the outer edges were the white lightnings still skipped from feather to feather. The hands that gripped the scyth now had fingers that ended with claws three quarters of an inch long.
Satan laughed again. "But you wouldn't be under the command of your mother Cyre dear. You'd only answer to me."
"Death answers to no one uncle. That's what picking the Dark Scyth up was all about. Dragon Heads and Ebony Rings aside, both these scyths are the same, ultimate impliments of the Office of Death. And both are now irriversibly mine." Satan's eyes narrowed and he made a 'come here' gesture with his hand. The dark scyth never twitched.
"So that's how you're going to play it is it? Death becoming an independant and freelance entity? I wonder how the Man Upstairs feels about that." Something flashed in the light and Satan negligantly reached up and caught the small silver cell phone.
"Why don't you call him and ask. The number's on speed dial, just hit 1 for the Father, 2 for the Son, or 3 for the Holy Ghost." Quietly Satan punched the number in, knowing full well his Hell phone didn't have a long distance plan that covered calls to Heaven.
"Hello, God? This is Lucifer...I know you know who's calling...yes I...no I...of course we're still on for Armegeddon...no...no...not yet I haven't but...yes but I...well be like that then....just answer me...I know you...fine...fine...she dose eh...and that's right...so then who...I can live with that...but...but...no...I don't give a damn what you think about my Devils Food Cake you can choke on Angel Food Cake for all I care! Yes and damn you too...!"
With a disgusted click he hung up and tossed the phone back to Cyre. "You've got backing in high places girl...but that won't get you out of Hell..." Satan made a sweeping gesture with his hand. The DMV shell blew away to reveal millions of demons and damned souls pressing close to where walls had once been. Each and every one of them was armed to the teeth.
Just a few feet away, a long road, paved with good intentions, streched before and behind them. It disappeared up and down after going on for a way. The Highway to Hell...she could almost hear AC/DC now...infact wasn't that Bon Scott over there with the massive sword/mike?
Just as the demon's pressed close the strangest thing happened. She was sized about the waist by a strong grip and tossed onto the saddle of a white horse...pillion to the rider. "Need a lift?" The angel in front of her turned around and favored her with a dazzling smile. Cyre raised an eyebrow for a moment, holding onto her hood as the force of wind the charging...charger kicked up tried to peel it off.
"Charming?" He gave a brief nod.
"Yeah I read up on the powers of Cupid...the whole 'Knight in Shining Armor' thing sounds corny and dosn't do a damn thing for you unless you know how to use it. But once you know how to use it it's one of Cupids most powerful forms...next to the whole 'God of Love' thing but..." His flushed bright red and twitched his wings.
Cyre raised one hand above her head and snapped her fingers. "I'd love to stay and chat but I've got my own ride." She lept from her spot behind Charming and landed on the back of the meanest, ghastliest, most terrifying horse Charming had ever seen. It's buttermilk pale coat shimmered like bone in the light of the flames and it's black eyes looked like empty sockets.
With a frightening lurch in his stomach Charming realized that the horse wasn't just the color of bone...it was wearing bone plate armor. So this was the literal incarnation of Cyre's pale horse. Catching Charming's look she grinned. "His name's Mort...and he says he dosen't like you staring at him but that you're filly seems the nice sort."
"Filly...what the?" Charming thought he was riding a stallion but as he wasn't a good enough trick rider to risk swinging down and taking a look, and he sure as hell wasn't pulling over, he had to take Mort's word for it.
Behind them a small nuclear explosion rocked the nineth level and Satan's voice roared "Get them!". The massive horde behind them charged forward, all screaming at the top of their lungs.
Charming looked over at Cyre. "You got some trick that'll stall them long enough to give us some running room?" Cyre looked thoughtfully for a moment the gave him a grave look.
"I've got something that might do the trick...but if I use it then I'm gonna be pretty strapped powerwise for while. I could still kick much ass but I wouldn't have my top form back for...a day at least...more depending on how much resistance I encounter and how much 'divine inspiration' I recieve. It's up to you."
"Why do I always have to decide these things huh? For once why couldn't the fate of all man kind rest on someone else's shoulders?" Cyre gave him a blank look. "Okay fine...so it's only our own asses on the line but still...having someone else make the decision once and a while would be nice."
"Fine then I'll make it." Both Charming and Cyre stared at Psyche, for very different reasons. The bow, glowing with a golden aura, twisted her string a bit before speaking her mind...
------------------
Will Cyre use her...stalling tactic?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 12:52 am Post subject: |
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No. Given that Psyche is the one speaking, it stands to reason that Cupid is the one who should be saving the day. The weapon wouldn't particularly think its field of expertise was Cyre's powers, given that the weapon doesn't even know what the 'trick' is that Cyre is referring to.
Psyche will come up with some power or flash move that Cupid can make, allowing the both of them to escape.
Of course, we don't know what that power is, because we don't know much about Cupid's power in this world at all. It'll have to be up to the author to decide that one. I'm sure it'll be impressive though.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 3:08 am Post subject: |
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| I have to agree with Stoat there
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| Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 3:10 am Post subject: |
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tres bien! ahh es...well, cant think of any ideas except what the indubitable ms.stoat has previously said
Psyche will probably throw off some magic bomb or smoke cover....octupus-like 
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:34 am Post subject: |
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Right...poll's up...must vote...
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:55 am Post subject: |
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Hmm does he or does she... Which one would be harder to write?
I'm going to have to go with Shady's reasoning here. Time for Cupid to save the day by making all the demons hate him so they go fleeing from his hatefullness
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:20 pm Post subject: |
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Good chapter Kalanna 
I've gone with Charming saving the day - let's see just what the God of Love can do and a powerless Cyre doesn't sound good this deep into hell. Let's save her powers for something more than 'stalling'.
Happy Writing
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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f5 Smee here, though I wish you would spell 'does' right.
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Last edited by Chinaren on Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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You are consistent with it Kal, so whenever you write it, assume you got it wrong and reverse the s and e
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 12:58 pm Post subject: |
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Prince Charming to save the day...RIGHT!
----------------------------
Chapter Fifteen: Hell Freezes Over
"Charming reach into your quiver."
"What? Why?"
"JUST DO IT!" Quickly, so that the irate bow didn't snap a string or have the equivilant of a bow heart attack, Charming reached into the quiver. "Now pull out that white arrow, no the OTHER white arrow...the one with the blue glass on the tip. THAT'S IT!" Slowly Charming drew forth an arrow that, while it was very pretty, wasn't going to do squat against a horde of charging demons.
Slowly Charming knocked the arrow and cocked the bow. "Now say 'Huey Lewis' at the top of your lungs."
"Are you nuts! I'm not going to..." The bow grew hot in his hands and began to shake ever so slightly. Psyche wasn't in the mood for discussion. "HUEY LEWIS!" The arrow glowed with a frightening intensity of blue and the song Power of Love filled the air around them causing the demon horde behind them to slow down and chuckle a moment.
"Let the arrow fly Charming!" More than happy to, Charming release the glowing arrow backwards into the horde. There was a blast of intense blueness and suddenly...the temperature dropped from around a hundred to around zero. Snow swirled out in all directions as ice coated the walls of the nineth level. Cyre laughed and a small spark of her own magic swirled out.
A small lamp post grew from the ground next to the road, ice encrusting its iorn surface. From behind the now frozen in their tracks demons Satan shook his lobster-like fist. "You jerks! Look what you've done to my beautiful hello what's this?" He studied the lamp post like it might explode at any moment.
"Come on Charming...we've got to get outta here." Still staring stunned at the smug bow in his hand, Charming whistled to his horse to gallop a little faster to match pace with Mort, who was hauling ass to get otta there.
A squeaking noise came from just above him and Charming looked up to see a pair of small bats streaking overhead at high speed. He looked questioningly at Cyre who shrugged..."Never heard the expression 'Like a bat out of Hell?'." Soon they were leaving the nineth level, and all it's frozen minions, behind, following the string as it lead them toward the exit.
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Satan shook an angery fist at the two fleeting forms and surveyed his frozen demons. Then he paced around the lamp post once, twice, three times. Nothing happened. "Now why would she leave something like this here...there's a reason right?" But it was just a lamp post with a brightly glowing lamp lighting the darkness of the nineth level now that there were no fires.
"Aw, what the hell. I've always wanted to do this." With a quick look to make sure no one was looking, Satan walked up and stuck out his forked tounge. He pressed it firmly to the poll for a moment and then, as the foolish moment passed, he tried to pull it off...and failed. He stood there for several minutes trying in vain to pull the wet pink organ off the ice coated iorn...an exercise in futility if there ever was one.
"Awel Gwet Yewl thwor swils Swire!" Which translates into 'I'll get you for this Cyre!'. He reached into his coat for his Hell phone and hit the first number on speed dial. It took him a moment to get the entity on the other end of the line to stop laughing and start listening...it took him several more moments to get the entity to understand him.
"Oooh doon't woorry Satan. I'll give my darling oone hell ooof a receptioon. She wooon't escape me this time. We have a scoore to settle." The line abruptly went dead. He stared into the phone before finally hitting another number on speed dial.
"Wehwhoa, Awi nuweed thuwmb whowp." Which means 'Hello, I need some help'. Satan spent all of six minutes trying to alternately threaten and plead with his clean up crew to bring some hot water and a blanket down here and get him off the lamp post. He would never try this stupid trick again.
------------------------
"Look Cyre! The Gates of Hell!" The pair of massive gates loomed just a few hundred feet ahead of them. Cyre looked back over her shoulder.
"Thank you Sir Point-out-the-obvious-alot. I would never have seen them on my own." They were so close that they could almost taste freedom when something ripped Charming out of his saddle and began shaking him back and forth like an ill-used chew toy. As he landed on his back hard on the stone floor he stared up into six angery yellow eyes.
Cerberus had broken free of the time bomb, or maybe the bomb had worn off who knew, and was now rather pissed and looking for revenge. The three heads snarled at him, slobber running out from between their flaming fangs to drown him when bathtub size drops hit him. The only thing that kept him from becoming an instant doggy treat was the fact that there wasn't enough of him to feed all three heads at once.
A sharp whistle got their attention. "Cerbe! Cerbe here baby!" Cerberus focused it's attention on Cyre and, with three joyus yips, sprang away from Charming and strained it's chain to reach the dark figure that stood just out of reach. "That's right baby, c'mere. Don't eat that...it's full of noble intentions."
Charming didn't know what was worse, being drowned in drool or being beaten to death by the giant tail as it thumped up and down on him in excitement. Slowly Cyre walked over to where the massive beast was chained to the wall and with one clean swing of a scyth, cut the massive chain. The huge dog bounded around her in a frisky circle before lowing it's heads to get a triple chin scratch.
"See Charming. Not everything around here is what it seems. Take Cerberus here. Sure they look nasty and evil and they might bite strangers but they're just a big puppy when you get right down to it." Suddenly the three heads shot up and snarled in the direction of the Gates.
"Get away from that demon right now young lady." Charming would remember that voice from anywhere. The Gates of Hell swung open to admit three shimmering beings, haloed in white light. In the middle Charming recognized Michael but the two on his left and right were completely new.
Cyre turned and crossed her arms over her chest, the massive Cerberus snarling over her...she looked like some sleezy archdemon preparing to attack the heros. "Look at her wings Mike." The angel on the left waved his spear in Cyre's direction.
"And her hands." The right angel pointed his spear. "She's got talons." Michael's eyes narrowed.
"Your hood Cyre...drop it." For a moment the white lightnings on Cyre's much tarnished wings crackled with a frightful intensity. Then she shook her head, the deep hood falling back to reveal her face. The three angels gasped. Her silver eyes had slitted cats pupils, fangs winked over her lip, and a pair of black horns trailed out of her crown of silver hair.
"Oh dear. Do I really look that bad?"
"Nooo, dearest. Yooou loook very nice. A little tooo goood perhaps, but very nice all the same." A dark shadow detached itself from the entrance to the Inferno. She wore very little, just a little red leather bra and a red lether thong that trailed a sheer red silk veil behind her. A red leather bull whip curled around her right hand.
Her long black hair fell over her shoulders, as luxurious as velvet, with a pair of massive red horns curving back over her head. Her huge brown eyes, demon eyes, dominated her fine boned face with it's full red lips and ivory fangs, and her pale white skin was smooth as fresh cream. A pair of blackened wings rose from her back, held on by thread made from dried human hearts. Lilleth, Mother of all Mosters was a stunning beauty. It wasn't hard to see where Cyre got her looks.
"Hubba hubba I think I'm in love." The angel on the left's eyes sparkled. Everyone turned and stared hard at Charming for a moment. He held up his empty hands.
"Wasn't me! I sware on my life...or on the life I used to have at any rate. Really it wasn't!"
"Yeah. How could he fire any arrows when he's STANDING on his BOW!" Charming jumped back and picked Psyche up off the ground where she'd fallen. He tried to sooth the bow but she was having none of it, preferring instead to complain and grumble about mistreatment of magical items and kids these days.
Michael looked at the smitten angel. "Pull yourself together Gabe! She's poison...bad news. Don't you remember the Hell I went through when I was with her! Don't you remember what she did to Adam!"
"And what's sooo wroong with having a little free will! Goood gave it to the booys but the girls have tooo suffer in silence!" She snapped her whip angrily, the floor cracking and flames shooting up where it landed. The three Archangels readied their weapons, ready for the on rushing conflict.
"I should have brought popcorn." Charming jumped and turned to look at Cyre who'd come to stand beside him when the tensions had started to run high. He took a good look at her.
"What the Hell happened to you? I thought you were an angel."
"Well I am...sorta. You see I was concieved as an Angel but I was born after my mom Fell, thus I was born Fallen. I'm a bit of a bastard, an accident that nobody wanted to take responsibility for for a few hundred years." Charming looked at her with a raised eyebrow...she should have brought popcorn.
"Then I heard God was looking for an Angel of Death. They were already priming me to be the Grim Reaper down here but I didn't much like the uniform so I polished the tarnish off my wings, pulled my halo outta storage, and applied for the position. Things went well and here I am today."
"That still doesn't explain the new head orniments or the manicure. Not to mention the contacts and wingpaint." Cyre sighed.
"I forgot how slow you are. The more I'm in Hell the more it exerts it's pull on my nature. Just like the more time I spend in Heaven makes me more of a perfect angel...not to mention gives me the need for massive amounts of bleach. Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of a white robe! It's Hell I tell ya." Charming nodded, he'd runined his share of whites before.
"So that's the reason you staied in Afterlife right? Because it was a happy medium?" Cyre nodded.
"Sure. I got to keep my looks and my attitude." The whip snapped at their feet causing Charming to jump back about three feet.
"Excuse me but the rest ooof us wooould like tooo get ooon with it! We doon't have time for looong mooonoooloogs and explainatiooons that act as if we weren't here at all!"
"Sorry." Cyre whipped out her scyths and flipped the hood back up on her robe. The lightnings started up again and her natures warred with each other admerably. She mounted Mort and brought Cerberus to heel at the pale horse's side. Charming mounted his...filly?...and drew Psyche, who was still muttering to herself, knocking and arrow to string and flaring his white wings behind him. "This better for you?"
The three Archangels and the Demoness exchanged a few nods. "Wooorks fooor us!" Then they all struck pointless fighting poses. Luckily, before anyone could get hurt from over exposure to a poorly chorographed fight scean, Satan, tounge wrapped in a bandage and blanket over his shoulders, kicked open the door to the Inferno and ran over behind Lilleth.
"Sorry Imb late. Had to get my toung off the subid lamb bost." He wore nothing but a pair of black leather pants, and boots, and his tail lashed behind him in a fit of hatred. His pitchfork wavered slightly as he noticed the three angels standing over by the gates. "What the Hell are you doing here Michael!"
"Well I was coming to rescue what's left of my daughter and her foolish companion but I see I've now got bigger fish to fry." The three archangels now stood between Cyre's motley crew and Hells Power couple.
"Rabhael! I'm surbrised to see you here Brother!" Raphael smiled and waved.
"Hey Lu! Long time no see! I heard something about you stirring up trouble in the middle east again. You been playing the 'Allah' card a bit too much eh?" Satan shook his head.
"I don't know what you're talking about. You should stick to your books Rabhael. That's all your good at, reading, teaching, and screaming like a little girl."
"I can also knit a mean cashmire sweater but I think thta's beside the point." Lilleth's whip cracked again.
"What is it with yooou peoople and talking like the rest ooof us arn't here!" Raphael shrugged.
"It's not my fault Lilly! That's the way the author wrote it...Funny, I thought God had the day off." He scratched his head a moment.
Gabriael, still panting and pouting over the demoness, rapped his spear butt on the stone floor. "I don't give a toot of my horn who is or isn't responsible for this...I just want to fight!" Michael and Raphael exchanged an 'I thought I was, I thought you were, the militant one' look.
Charming looked at Cyre who called out loudly. "Let's get this over with. Chronos isn't going to hold my cases much longer." The poses were re-struck, the battle was about to commense, they were all about to get 'giggy' with it, when the Gates of Hell burst open.
When the smoke cleared and watering eyes could see again the figure, or was it figures?, in the door was, or is it were, none other than....
-------------------
Who, or what, might it be?
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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God? Just to be contrevertial?
Or how about the Grey Lord (just assuming he could take physical form of course) though it would be more likely to he The Golden One, seeing how he's in charge of Earth. Probably come to warn them about the inpending doom that will result in the battle, with the sudden imbalance of power.
And just one point - the Ninth Circle of Hell is frozen over already. Cocytus is always frozen, with traitors trapped deep in the ice.
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Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:10 pm Post subject: |
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Yes but Lordy, this is the nineth level not the nineth circle. If I could draw a map I would but in my Hell they're not the same place.
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"Music makes you braver."
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Barney!
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Stubby
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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Yoda
Light Saber in hand.
I can see it now.....
"Naughty you have been. Punish you I will. Fight me you must."
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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Stubby...do I really have to kill Yoda twice?
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"Music makes you braver."
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:38 pm Post subject: |
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It can't be Yoda. That would just be silly!
Simon Cowell
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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Right, another day for suggestions before I put up the poll.
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"Music makes you braver."
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Smee
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 2:17 am Post subject: |
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Funny chapter and some entertaining suggestions.
No great suggestions of my own though.
Happy Writing
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 8:32 pm Post subject: |
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Right...now's the time to cast your vote!
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"Music makes you braver."
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Smee
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| Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 2:01 am Post subject: |
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ahem...Simon Cowell is a bit more than 'from 'merkin Idol'  *
*He did UK Idol for one
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 1:26 am Post subject: |
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No I didn't...just wait and See. Oh and Smee...I know Simon's done more than American Idol...I was just letting folks know who he was some how. You say Simon from american idol and people go 'oh that guy.'
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"Music makes you braver."
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 2:20 am Post subject: |
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| Kalanna Rai wrote: | | You say Simon from american idol and people go 'oh that guy.' |
Only if you're from America - if you said it elsewhere you'd get blank looks and people wondering just what the show was.
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 2:22 am Post subject: |
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| Lordy wrote: | | Kalanna Rai wrote: | | You say Simon from american idol and people go 'oh that guy.' |
Only if you're from America - if you said it elsewhere you'd get blank looks and people wondering just what the show was. |
Easy - it is that show about idle americans - where they all just slob around all day watching TV from the sofa!
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thebean203
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| Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 2:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Stubby wrote: | | Lordy wrote: | | Kalanna Rai wrote: | | You say Simon from american idol and people go 'oh that guy.' |
Only if you're from America - if you said it elsewhere you'd get blank looks and people wondering just what the show was. |
Easy - it is that show about idle americans - where they all just slob around all day watching TV from the sofa! |
i take offense at that!
after all, i don't slob aroud all day in front of my tv
i slob around in front of my computerall day!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 1:47 am Post subject: |
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WHAT A TIE!!! Alright somebody better break it cuz otherwise I'll make an executive decision tomorrow!
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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Right, made an executive decision, I hate doing that.
Enjoy this new chapter...and all the plot twists it entails....mwuhahahaha...
---------------------
Chapter Sixteen: No More Purple Dinosaur
"BARNEY!" Indeed it was the purple dino himself in a chariot drawn by six dayglow My Little Ponies. The ponies, all giggling about pop music, hair care products, and enslaving the mindless young girls of the human race, trotted right up to Satan with a flourish while Barney laughed his irritating laugh and offered the Father of Lies a hug.
"I love you." He said putting extra vigor into the squeeze. The three archangels exchanged an unreadable look and Lilleth began to strangle her whip in frustration. Satan froze in shock as Cyre pulled a camera out from under her robe and snapped a couple of Polaroids.
"Oh this is good. It's so gonna make the Posthemous Post tomorrow. All of Afterlife is gonna be buzzing about the Satan, Barny, Pony triangle." Charming almost puked.
"There goes the happy childhoods of millions." Cyre put the camera away.
"How can it be a happy childhood with them. I mean take the Ponies for instance. Would you normally let your child play with something that has garish rainbow skin, tackily clashing neon hair, and a tattoo on it's ass? No you don't do you." Charming was at a loss for words, and so was Satan as Barney clutched him even tighter, nuzzled his cheek, whispered in his ear and said 'I love you.' once again.
Now Charming, being the new Cupid and thus being in charge of most aspects of love, stood in stupified silence for a moment and then something snapped. Without so much as the blink of an eye he cocked his bow and let the arrow fly at Barney. The purple beast was quicker than he looked. With unimaginable speed he pulled a move that could have been attributed to the wize guru off the Karate Kid and caught the arrow between his four fingers.
Suddenly Barney went from slightly creepy costume dino, to a four story purple and green terror from the Jurassic period. With jaws that would have made T-Rex wet himself and run for cover and massive claws that could slice into a bank vault it advanced on Charming, lashing it's massive whip-like tail behind him.
As if the sudden change was a que to attack the My Little Ponies reared and became Your Worst Nightmares. Charming's horse backed up one step, then two as the six creatures made of charred brimstone skeletons and hell fire advanced along the flanks of the purple Behemoth. "Aw crap."
Without asking for help, indeed Charming's world had shrunk back to just caring for number one, he fire arrows one after another with a blurr of speed that would have made Legolas, Legolam, and Orlando Bloom go 'Daaaaammmmnnn'. He attacked with a ferocity that he didn't know he had in him, reverting the bad ass that had almost strangled the nerdy demon in the record shop.
The nightmares went down one by one, unable to match the agility of Charming's white steed, and Barney found that the quarters were a bit cramped with three archangels, a three headed dog creature, an archdemoness, the devil, and a mounted Angel of Death all getting under his feet as he chased Charming in circles.
"Love! You twisted excuse for an overgrown puppet! I'll show you some love!" Charming reached into his supposedly inexhaustable quiver only to find he had one arrow left. It was black from tip to tip with an arrowhead of heart shaped obsidian. He knocked it to the bow, pulled back and...
"NO CHARMING DON'T!" Psyche uttered her warning too late. With a thundeous twang the black arrow roared through the space, burying itself in the back of the mutant Barney's throat. The purple beast's eyes went wide, it gagged once, and a spray of purple blood fountained forth as it crashed to the ground and gave a last half-hearted snap of it's jaws before dying.
"Well that's tha..." Charming never finished the sentence. He clutched his chest as he suddenly couldn't breath and toppled bonelessly from his horse as his world shrunk to a black spot an inch infront of his nose. Then he passed out.
--------------------------
For a moment none the other combatants moved. Then Satan pointed toward the corpses and the toppled hero. "That's bad isn't it?"
"I don't know. Don't you sort of have the authority on that one?" Cyre dismounted and wandered over to where Charming's horse was beginning to glow brighter and brighter. She causually pulled the arrow out of the quickly dissolving flesh of what once was the hero of children everywhere. "Just as I thought. The moron used the Blackheart."
Nothing. Silence. Cyre looked at them. "I said The moron used the Blackheart." Satan slapped his forehead.
"That's right we're all supposed to gasp." They gasped and Cyre nodded.
"Better, now I'm not an expert on the arrows of Cupid but I seem to recall that once a Cupid touches the Blackheart Arrow something horrible happens to them."
"As in?"
"As in I don't know. What about my not being an expert do you people not get. Maybe if I'd paid attention to the previous Cupid when he was trying to woo me by impressing me with arrow details I could be of more help. Unfortunately I was concentraiting on not killing him at that moment in time...Time that's it! Chronos might be able to recall the conversation."
Satan, who was busy calling his cleanup crew for the second time today, gave her a hush sign and Lilleth was busy sharpening her talons, but the rest seemed interested...in everything but what Cyre was saying. "Fine, you work out your differences, I'm going to find out what happened to Cupid."
Using a little brute force, okay a lot of brute force, she hefted Charming into his saddle, after pulling her hood into a shady position over her eyes to prevent being blinded by the radient horse. Tying the reigns to Mort's saddle she trotted out of Hell, Cerberus frisking behind her.
---------------------------
A few minutes and the entire staff of the Juneau Alaska post office later, Cyre arrived in Afterlife trotting past Morri's desk. "Oh hello Cyre. Come to review the replacements." Cyre flipped back her hood, took a moment to inspect her reflection in the blade of her scyth, and stared at him like he'd grown an extra head.
"Replacements for what Morri?" He pulled out his book and flipped through pages.
"Why replacements for your position. The Afterlife panel has decided to remove you from your position as Angel of Death. Apparently you provide too many hazards for the company insurance to cover and after your latest spree of rule-breaking well...they've had enough. " Cyre glared at him.
"Do you mean to tell me that after all my thousands of years of service I'm being fired. That I'm being handed my walking papers because I called the scyth and robe in self-defense? I'm being let go because I'm hazardous?" Her voice was deceptively quite. Had Charming been concious he could have warned Morri, but he was mercifully slung over his saddle snoring away.
"Well there's also the strict no pets rule but y..." Cyre exploded.
"I'm DEATH for heaven sake! I'm the one thing you can absolutely bet on! Hazardous! You don't know the meaning of the word! How am I supposed to do my jow without taking risks? Not everyone dies in bed Morri!" The small man had shrunk deeper and deeper into his chair with every word she snarled.
He was save when his cell phone rang. Not his everyday phone, but a cute little white and gold number. Cyre gave a grim smile as Morri looked nervously at a line that had never rang before. "I'd answer it...he really hates to be kept waiting."
Slowly Morri picked up the phone and put it to his ear. "Hello." He was utterly silent, nodding from time to time as if he expected the being on the other end to see what he was doing, blowing off the fact that the being was doing exactly that. Slowly Morri extended the phone. "He want's to speak to you."
Slowly Cyre picked up the phone. "Sir." The voice of God filled her ears.
"Cyre don't despair. No one could ask for a better death but I have to appease Satan on this one. I'm choosing a new Angel of Death and he's picking a new Grim Reaper. You, however, have a new title and position...Death Incarnate." Cyre twitched an eyebrow upwards.
"That's right, you'd be their boss, making sure things ran smoothing and deciding on which balanced soul went to whom. Also your doing a wonderful job of mentoring Charming, keep up the good work even though he's got a tough time coming up."
"Sir about that..."
"Oh what's going to happen to him? Well normally I wouldn't give out this kind of information but I like you kid. Here's what's up..."
---------------------------------
What is going on with Charming?
Right hoped you liked the new chapter. I ended up breaking the tie and while it was tempting to go for Simon, really tempting, I wanted to do something a little different.
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"Music makes you braver."
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